


Tangent Points

by OohSpooky



Series: Tangent Points [1]
Category: Choices: High School Story: Class Act (Visual Novel), Endless Summer (Visual Novel), High School Story (Visual Novel)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety Attacks, Camping, Child Abuse, Confessions, F/F, F/M, Family, Friendship, High School, Love, Multi, Other, POV Alternating, POV First Person, POV Original Character, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Substance Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Summer, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Teenagers, Trust, Trust Issues, Warnings May Change, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 51
Words: 274,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21870232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OohSpooky/pseuds/OohSpooky
Summary: The beginning of Summer 2019 is somewhat a rocky start for these seven friends, for some of them at least.On a high note, two of the seven, John and Andre, rekindle a connection to an old friend from their elementary school days.Nick was his name, and he seemed like the final piece of the puzzle, needed to complete this family.Little did they know, Nick was just the beginning, this family of friends will rapidly grow throughout the remaining years of their young lives.Seven will become eight, eight will become nine, and so on. Their family is constantly growing.However, their Summer takes a turn of events, when Andre and Marjorie, another two of the seven, meet a certain girl with red hair, that unbeknownst to them, will become a very important piece to their family.
Relationships: Skye Crandall/Original Character(s)
Series: Tangent Points [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1575613
Kudos: 3
Collections: Alternate Universe - High School





	1. Doing All Right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who play Choices, this is an AU where characters from different books cross paths with each other. Some characters used in this book and future books (possible sequels) are from an app named, Choices: The Stories you Play. This is essentially a big mashup of many books from that game. Characters from HSS, HSS: CA, Endless Summer, and possibly more will make appearances and cameos throughout this book, some even ending up main characters.
> 
> ~Enjoy!~
> 
> Before we get started, I would like to let new readers know that this story will get better over the course of time. I started this in late 2017, so the first few chapters are short. I did eventually stop back in 2017. However, during January of this year, I decided to continue this inside joke of a story.
> 
> (Note: this story is very messy and partly because I keep switching past-tense to present-tense. I am so very sorry; I am slowly revising chapters so that they will be more consistent)
> 
> If you're wondering what the inside joke was, let me explain. This book was formerly known as 'Skype Love'; however, since the story had nothing to do with Skype at all, and the 'love' part never comes until much later in the future, the title didn't make sense. I had a few friends help me think of a new title, and one just stuck with me.
> 
> The eight people introduced during the beginning portions of the story are based on real people, and other fictional and real people will be added to the story. (I'm borrowing a certain character from a certain game: Skye Crandall. Other characters from this game will be introduced throughout the chapters)  
> I'd also like to mention during this book; there will be moments where the themes of self-harm, abuse, mild sexual scenes and jokes, and swearing.  
> Also Note: Some scenes/concepts in this book are borrowed from scenes in other books, games, stories or fanfics, but with my little twists.  
> Of course, I have original storylines planned out, but we'll have to wait and see.
> 
> What started as an inside joke, became an inspiration to write this. Along with other sources or books inspiring me, I believe this will be a story I'd love to write until the very end. Enjoy, Tangent Points!
> 
> \- Andre (OohSpooky)

_Prologue_

_June. 26, 2019_

The six friends fought their way out the entrances of their school into freedom. Summer Vacation of 2019 began!

John patted Andre soothingly on the back, "Easy lang, bro! Relax for a bit."

Andre raised his eyebrow, "Not in that accent, I'm not."

He adjusted his glasses and glanced at the green grass in front of the school.

"We all promised to console you till then," Juliana hugged Andre reassuringly. "We should totally hang out this summer, guys."

Tagu nodded in approval, "I'm down. I'm happy we all started talking again."

With one last group hug, the six departed each other's arms. They waved each other good-bye and went their separate ways. Marjorie and, Andre entered Lance's car. The three of them remained silent until;

"Try making most of the summer, okay?" Lance told Andre as he reversed the car out of the parking space.

Andre sadly nodded, sticking his earbuds inside his ear.

Marjorie patted his back comfortingly, "You'll get over her eventually. Now, relax! You just finished the easiest final of your life!"

Despite himself, Andre smirked, "Photography isn't exactly Rocket Science. It's harder to actually fail that class than trying to pass it."

The car escaped the traffic and began to cruise down the highway. Lance yawned at a stoplight then turned back to the two friends at the back.

"Hey, guys," Lance said with a smile. "You wanna get back on Skype? You know like old times?"

Andre and Marjorie laughed hysterically.

The boy spoke first, "You think I haven't tried bringing that back? Julianna and Tagu aren't exactly open to the idea."

Marjorie sighed deeply, "Yeah, I think it's a dead dream at this point."

Lance chuckled as he drove, "Don't worry, guys. I have my way with people, always."

"Don't make it weird, Cuz," Andre rolled down the window, his hair flowing back with the wind.

Lance's smile could be seen in the rear-view mirror, "I'm not. Just know, that by next month, we'll all be on Skype again."

Marjorie remained silent, leaning her head back into the seat. Andre tapped her shoulder.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Thanks for being there for me when shit went down," Andre stared at Marjorie apologetically. "Just, all of you, thanks for being there."

Marjorie smiled sweetly at him, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly.

"You'll be over it by next month," Lance reassured Andre, who just stared out the window. "At least now, you can look at ass again."

Andre snorted, and couldn't help but smile, "Just promise me we won't ever talk about it unless we have too."

Lance parked his car against the sidewalk facing Andre's home. He let out a breath.

"Whatever you want, bro," Lance unlocked the doors and with one last wave, Andre shut the door.

Now, only Marjorie and Lance remained.

"You think he'll be okay?" Marjorie asked, leaning in her chair.

Lance's face fell, and with a sigh, he said, "It'll take time, but now that the seven of us reignited our old friendships, we can support him right? And each other. Like before."

Marjorie smiled at that idea, "We never really seperated, you know? Just toom a break."

Turning around, Lance handed Marjorie a piece of candy. Marjorie unwrapped the candy happily then dropped it inside her mouth.

"Yeah, you could say that," Lance agreed as he parked his car next to Marjorie's house. "JUST CONVINCE THEM TO SKYPE, PLEASE."

Marjorie jumped back, startled by his sudden outburst, "Okay, okay! You're pushy.

The two began to laugh for a little bit, and Marjorie eventually left the car. Lance rolled his window down and rose a water bottle up in the air.

"To a good summer!"

Marjorie cocked her head to the side and smiled slightly, "To a good summer!"

The girl disappeared inside her house, and Lance drove off into the horizon.

_**PART ONE** _

Chapter 1:

Andre's POV

"Where could they have gone?" I tap my foot onto the carpet, staring intently at the blue background of the Skype logo.

I was in a long Skype call with my friends, Julianna, Tagu, John, Lance, Miguel, Marjorie, and an old friend, Nick. Skype was outdated as hell, but we always used it for nostalgia's sake.

"John and Tagu were here 10 minutes ago. I'm pretty sure we even heard them speak," Julianna says, scratching her head.

It turns out; they were both on the phone with old relatives, y'know the ones they haven't talked too for a long time. We all have to go through that at some point, and it always ends up being awkward. Aside from myself, of course. My family and I are pretty tight.

"I'm back," John appears, sitting down in his chair. "That went abysmal."

"Tell me about it," Tagu butts in. "What did you guys talk about while we're gone?"

"We wondered where you went, but Andre confirmed for us," Marjorie replies, smiling.

"How are you, by the way?" Lance asks me.

"Doing great; why?" Sadly, I was only telling half the truth. I was great at the moment, yes. Overall, I felt miserable, every day was a battle that needed to be won, but I would always fall short.

"Just wondering."

"Remember what we promised, guys, please," I plead with a tiny crack in my voice.

Nick furrows his brow, "Promised what?"

"Don't worry about it, Bub," I smile and quickly change the topic. "So, junior year? How was that for everyone?"

We all talked about how grade 11 was utterly stressful and at the same time, carefree. The remainder of school at the start of summer vacation always left a sour taste in our mouths, as it did every year. The topic shifted fortunately when Tagu told us she wanted to hang out.

"We should all go out to eat somewhere," Tagu clicks enthusiastically.

"But where, though?" John questions as he yawns, "I'm pretty hungry right now, though. It doesn't seem like a bad idea."

"Does fast food count? Or are we going to restaurants that don't cost a lot?" I ask as I stretch my arms tiredly.

I haven't been out in a while, too; it wasn't a bad idea to go out and eat with friends.

"You guys should try Seoul," Nick suggests, "It's Korean BBQ if it wasn't obvious enough. It's delicious there and, honestly, not that expensive."

"Liar," Miguel calls. "I hear it's very expensive there."

"We'll all pitch in twenty, don't get riled up," I sigh. "Who has twenty here?"

"For you?" Julianna straightens in her chair.

"No, like, in general, who has a twenty they can use to pitch in?"

Everyone put their hands up, "It's settled then."

Nick already fit right into our group. It was like a missing puzzle piece, but I had the feeling there were more pieces out there to make us, us. God knows how big our group can grow.

Everyone nods in agreement, and the conversation dragged on for a few moments.

"So, are we going to try Seoul? I've heard about it too from others," Miguel implies as he looks into his webcam.

Marjorie nods, "I've been there with my family, maybe, once or twice. I can tell you guys what's good and the stuff I haven't tried yet."

"Sweet! I'll get ready. I can give you guys all a ride," Lance pauses, and we all wait in anticipation.

"...but one of you guys may have to squeeze in the back of the car. Sorry about that. Again," Lance smiles as we all groan in disappointment.

All of us hung out at the beginning of summer, already. Though Lance was hesitant at first, we were lucky he gave us rides home when the days got too hot. All of us had our licenses; however, we all didn't have cars. I was planning to get my sweet ride next month.

John grimaces and brings a palm to his face, "Me first? Again? I haven't even showered yet!"

"I'll come over to your house, Jolo. Don't worry, my friend," I convulse into laughter. "I'll come after you shower, of course."

Julianna beams with excitement and says, "Well, everyone, let's get ready!"

"Nick, where do you live? I can give you a ride, too," Lance proposes.

"No need. I live by Riverlanding, so it's walking distance from my house. Where do you guys live?"

"In Hampton Village," everyone says in unison, then following it up with a fit of laughter.

I could never get tired of this. We were a family, though it wasn't always like this. During the school year, we were all distant from each other. We all had our established friend groups, and by we, I meant everyone else. Marjorie, Julianna, Miguel, and Tagu were Frenchies at our school, so they would always be with the other Frenchies, occasionally hanging out with different people.

John and I hung out with the typical group of guys that sat at that one table. I wasn't fond of them, and I kept my distance most of the time. Lance and Nick were at different schools, except Lance moved back to Bethlehem, maybe during the middle of the semester. Nick went to the School attached to ours, Tommy Douglas, the neighbouring/rival school.

I was the 'Wanderer' before we all came back into each other's lives. By wanderer, I meant I would hop from tables during lunchtime or the break. I did have someone, a girlfriend, if you must, but that didn't last. It's hard to think about, but I'm learning to move on, or at least that's what I'm telling myself is happening.

It was hard to find somebody else to trust, as our school had a reputation of having many fake people. I did have a few people to trust, though: Nathan, being one of them. He's essentially my right-hand man, and I owe him a lot for teaching me more than anyone has. He's been pretty busy; lately, I hope to see him again.

I also had this server on Discord. No, it wasn't those packed servers with a hundred people in it. It was the right amount. Meaning, we all got to know each other without having fifty other people bombard other chat rooms with messages, including ours. I love them. The only downside is, they're from different countries and states/provinces. Still, love them.

Anyway, by the time it was May, our old Skype Group reunited. I always wished for that to happen at the tail end of almost giving up; they supported me when my life hit an all-time low. That caused our family to be whole again; we're still trying to get used to Skyping again. As I said, it was outdated. Regardless, we made most of what we had and reignited our old friendships.

Nick knocked loudly on his desk, breaking me out of my own thoughts.

"Goddamnit, it's hot as fuck outside," Nick shakes his head in disappointment. "I'll speed walk there, guys. Hope you all don't keep me waiting."

"We'll try not to, man. John and I haven't seen you in a year anyway, why would we keep you waiting," I smiled, getting up from my desk. "This hangout will be a reunion, too," I added as I skimmed through the closet.

"See you guys, then!"


	2. Count On Me

John's POV

I was waiting for Lance to pick me up at my home. In the corner of my eye, on the sidewalk, I see Andre. He was just arriving. He smiles at me, stepping onto the porch and ringing the doorbell. My dog started to bark.

I let Andre in and before greeting me, he greeted the dog first.

"Man, I want one of these," Andre adds and stands up.

"Lance should be here in a couple of minutes," I say, laying my head back into the couch.

He nods, looking dejected.

I smile, "Hey man, how are you? After-" I stop myself, "My bad."

"Don't talk about it, okay?" Andre sighs, looking out the window.

I can't really say what happened to Andre. Let's say it caused him a lot of pain. Andre was handling it well, two months after the incident. It's good; not many people recover that quickly from something like that. He's endured so much. Andre was strong and had an insane amount of emotional endurance. It was hard for us to ever get a solid answer out of him, though. He didn't like being the center of attention. He would instead give the spotlight to someone else.

He huffs and taps my shoulder, "He's here, Bub. Let's go."

I swing the door open and holler for my parents to lock it. I wave goodbye to my dog through the window.

"SHOTGUN," Andre screams, running to the front seat of the car. I laugh and get into the seat behind Lance.

"How much money did you guys bring?" Lance asks.

"We all agreed we'd pitch in twenty but, I brought my whole wallet. There's maybe, sixty bucks?" Andre sluggishly takes out his wallet counts his money.

"I brought my wallet, too, forty dollars in here," I look down into my wallet. "Time to let it go all down the drain, all in the name of food."

"Alright. Speaking of that, I gotta get my wallet. I forgot mine at home. One of you text the girls and Nick that I might be two minutes late," Lance quickly urges at a stop sign.

Andre obliges and shot a quick text to the girls. I sat back and thought about how Senior year was going to treat us.

"Fuck."

"What?"

"Senior year next year, man," I rub my forehead.

"You're bringing this up now?" Andre smirks. "Loosen up; we'll be alright."

"I'm going to be a university student," Lance laughs, sarcastically. "I can't fucking wait."

"Hold that thought," Andre stares down at his phone. "They're flaming you," he giggles, pointing at Lance.

"What'd they say?" Lance wonders, sounding worried. "Did they complain?"

"From Tagu, 'you're always late, my Guy. Get your shit together' laughing emoji," Andre confirms.

Lance sighs, "Women.."

"Right! Women," Andre shakes his head, still snickering. "Except, redheads. Redheads are amazing."

"This again?" I shoot up from my seat. "What's with you and redheads?"

"I don't know," Andre scratches his head. "They're just, so Goddamn cool."

"Are you sure it's not 'cause of-"

"Nope, don't say her name either," Andre tugs on my shirt. "Don't say any of their names."

Julianna's POV

"Shut up, you two; we're here. We just need to do a bit more walking," I groan, scratching my head.

The conversation was funny, but I honestly got annoyed. I tried to show it, but it didn't help that John's laugh is funny as hell and Tagu kept shouting nonsense.

I hop in and find myself beside Lance.

"Sorry if they distracted you. They were probably loud as hell," I snicker as I wrap my arm around him.

"Y'all were talking? I was focusing on my driving," Lance beams and pats my head.

"Also focusing on student-debt and university fees," Andre reminds him, holding up his wallet.

"I didn't want to remind myself of that," Lance shivers. "I'm fine."

He always did that to make fun of how short I am. I liked it, though; it always reminds me of how we first met in person.

Andre introduced us. Lance told me had the urge to pat my head. The first time we met, he commented on how short I was. The thing is, I wasn't even that short, I was almost as tall as Miguel. However, I could never forget that day, even if I tried.

Marjorie's POV

I squint and see a figure in the distance waving at us, "Is that-"

"NICHOLAS!" John and Andre shriek and carelessly run up to hug their buddy, tripping along the way.

They fall into the pavement, laughing.

"How's it been, man?" Andre asks as he pulls Nick and John off the floor.

"Things are great! School is great too," his eyes start to veer towards me, and for a moment, we were in an awkward staring contest.

I was stunned. He looked different in real life than he did from the computer screen. Nick's Webcam quality must be bad. I grin at him and clumsily tuck my hair behind my ear. Nice going.

I giggle softly, "Hi! We met on Skype, Nick. It's nice to meet you!"

My voice was high pitched. Was it? I shouldn't worry, why am I worrying?

I shake his hand, and right after I let go, everyone begins to overwhelm him with handshakes of their own.

I hear Tagu laugh, "Nice to meet you too! Any love life?" She begins to raise her eyebrow at Nick.

"Weird question to ask someone they just met," He snorts, "But who wouldn't want this? I'm practically the hottest guy at my school."

Andre and John burst out laughing, which made the rest of us laugh.

"That's rude," Nick slouches. "Good thing, it was a joke."

Unfortunately, I kept laughing well after everyone stopped. Miguel sat me down at the bench beside the street.

"Marjorie, are you okay?" Miguel questions, confused.

Nick sits beside me, "I didn't know someone would like my jokes this much," he places his hand on my shoulder.

"I appreciate it," Nick beams.

He sat up and caught up with the rest of the group as they went inside Seoul. Miguel helps me up.

"You're acting strange," he winks at me, and we follow suit.

I laugh silently at myself and scratch my head.

"I am acting strangely."

It came to me that I felt something that I haven't felt in a long time: Infatuation, one of the world's most terrible feelings.


	3. Doing All Right

Miguel's POV

I was chowing down on some good beef, and suddenly, I see this beautiful girl walk through the door. I stare but, try not to make it too visible.

I felt someone bonk the top of my head.

"Miguel! Pass me the water," Andre snaps me back into reality

I passed him the water. I didn't want that feeling to go away. I sadly saw the girl leave the building.

"Excuse me for a second, guys," I shot up and got out of the restaurant.

Nick's POV

Everyone watched Miguel leave, and we all sat there dumbfounded.

"He probably saw someone guys. Leave him be," Andre says, eating his bowl of rice calmly.

We all nodded and started talking about if we should go to the mall later. Of course, we all agreed.

I felt like I belonged to this group. It felt like being in elementary school again, with just one class you grow up with and learn from in only one year.

I can get used to this. I smile, and look up, seeing Miguel walking through the door.

"Hey man, where'd you go?" I ask, along with everyone turning to face him.

Miguel shined his phone screen towards us, and it was a phone number.

"It's just a phone number, so what?" Tagu scoffs and continued using her phone.

She froze there for a second, trying to process what she just saw when she realized,

"THAT'S A GIRL'S NUMBER."

Miguel's face lights up like a candle. We all celebrate, cheering and teasing him as he sits back down.

I smile again knowing this group of friends will be the ones that turn into family. I'm sure of it.

I know it. I glance at Andre.

"Let's get out of here," he says placing his arm around me.

I realize I had forgotten to ask him an important question,

"By the way Andre, how are you and-"

Behind me, I feel a hand cover my mouth. I turn around to see Julianna shake her head back and forth.

"Nick?" Andre turns, a huge smile on his face. "Did you say somethin'?"

"Oh nothing," I grin and hang back to walk alongside Julianna.

"Did something happen between--"

"Just shut up. We all promised never to mention it. Now since you're with us right now, you may as well promise too."

I look at her confused. I tilt my head slightly to the left.

Her voice breaks down into a whisper.

"Look I don't know how often Andre talks to you, but I realize now he hasn't told you." Julianna gulps, "Andre and his girlfriend, aren't together anymore. Please don't mention it. Not even lowkey. Just shut up about it."

Julianna gives me a faint smile and proceeds to keep walking without a word.

My jaw drops. They've been together so long, but why? So many questions.

I nod and keep my mouth shut. I glance at Andre. He looks back at me and smiles.

Returning the smile, I hang back a bit, watching the evening sky turn a purple colour.

It's beautiful.


	4. Fear

Lance's POV

We just finished eating, and we went to the mall just like we planned. We went to get ice cream there, or that's what John wants. Ice cream.

Midtown Plaza was one of the malls in Saskatoon, the other three being Centre Mall, located on the south-east of the junction of Circle Drive and 8th Street. Confederation Mall on 22nd Street and Circle Drive (Circle drive stretches from the Eastside of Saskatoon to the West), and Lawson Heights Mall, which is situated in the North Side of Saskatoon.

It sits in a convenient location, literally being in the heart of the city, many people from different sides of Saskatoon have been to Midtown at least once.

The main entrance of Midtown was the one we went through since we walked from Seoul to here. The aesthetic of the gate was vintage; the mall's been around since the 40s-50s. 

It used to be an old train station until it was renovated into a mall. Other entrances include an underground parking unit that leads you inside the mall through an elevator and stores that branch into the mall as well.

It had your typical aspects of the mall; a store for literally anything. Clothing, gaming, electronics, appliances, books, and even a furniture store inside here. 

A large food court is here of course. However, there are food stands when you enter through the main entrances. Starbucks and Kernels are the first things you see when walking inside, and straight ahead was an escalator, and beside it were benches, potted fake trees and, sweet tile floors.

We entered inside, the air from the doorways always catching us off guard when we walk inside. The scent inside the mall was a familiar smell, can't quite describe it, and the clear sound of people mingling, sounds of ventilation, and the smell of popcorn reaching closer and closer to us as we walked farther away from the doors.

"Miguel? What's her name, huh?" I nudge him on the shoulder, stopping in front of the Starbucks

"Can't tell you her name, no can do," Miguel interrupts me, rushing past me to journey through the building.

"Guys let's just get Starbucks instead," Marjorie suggests, pointing at the coffee shop. Julianna agrees and drags me inside with her.

Andre hurriedly scurries over to Julianna. "Buy me a green tea frap, please!" He beckons her, shaking his hands to drop the five dollars into her own. "C'mon!"

She groans annoyed, "Why can't you do it?"

He anxiously twiddles his thumbs, somehow giggling. "I wanna explore! I promise I'll come back in time so you don't have to carry it long, please!"

Julianna huffs, rolling her eyes and pocketing the five dollars into her leggings' pockets. "You better come back or else I'm drinking it."

Andre thanks her repeatedly, rushing over around a corner and disappearing into a tight crowd.

I put my chin on Julianna's head and smile. 

She blushes, "You want anything?"

"Nah, I'm fine," I walk the whole way, laying my chin on her head. It wasn't an easy task, but it was worth it if it meant being closer to her.

Tagu's POV

John and I wander off to the food court. Also, to find the chocolatier here that sells ice cream. It was called Purdy's, and it's right next to all the food places, which was amazingly convenient if you wanted dessert after.

I favoured eating anything here, and so did the others. I think Andre and John have different moods when it comes to the food at the mall. Andre and John were suckers for New York Fries, the poutine there was delicious, but sometimes we would all want Japanese food from Edo. As I said, the rest of us didn't have a preference; we just chose and went on with our day.

"Poutine first, then ice cream," John rushes his words.

I hit his back, pushing up my glasses, "We just ate! How could you be so hungry?"

"BECAUSE, Nothing beats poutine, not even a full stomach," John says, grabbing onto me and dragging me towards New York Fries.

"Can we share, at least?" I resist his pulling but eventually ease into it.

"Is that even a question? Of course, you can! Poutine should be a blessing for everyone," he says, walking faster. I can tell we were getting closer.

We found a table to take a seat, and both of us fixated our eyes onto the glorious, aesthetically pleasing Poutine.

As we ate, I could hear our surroundings become quieter, and it soon felt like it was only us two inside the usually crowded and noisy mall. It all felt so sudden to think like this. It was a sense of calmness and relief that engulfed me as I stared into John's brown eyes.

I hear him say something but couldn't recognize what he said. He probably babbled on about how good the poutine was.

It felt peaceful just looking at him like clouds surrounded me, and the feeling of bliss joined the calmness and relief.

Something pokes my forehead, and I hear John chuckling at me, "What the fuck happened to you back there?"

I stare at him wide-eyed then squint at him, "Why'd you poke my forehead?"

"You kept staring at me, I kept saying your name, but you kept looking at me like I was eye-candy," He impolitely says as he chews loudly.

I didn't reply; I didn't feel ready to tell him why. The way he makes me feel, it is always like that.

Peace and relief. I feel safe with him, but a lingering question repeated itself in my head: Did he feel the same with me?

Andre's POV

I take multiple sips from my drink after they finally got me my long-awaited green tea frap.

I'm distracted; I drink as I wander off.

"Huh?"

I look like a deer in headlights, seeing myself at a different place in the mall. I find myself far away from the others, Lance, Julianna, Marjorie, and Miguel.

"Goddamnit," I mutter, "Where the fuck am I anyway?"

I mumble to myself as multiple people pass by me, and they're as confused as me.

I'm in front of a store called 'Hudson's Bay,' so I know I'm far from the others now. 

The Bay is one of those places that connected to the mall from the first and second floors, and also had entrances outside, paving another way inside the mall.

I'm scrambling to get my phone to call them, no answer.

"Motherfucker..." I mutter under my breath, grinding my teeth.

I guess the time for myself wasn't that bad; I hadn't had time by myself outside of my house.

Letting my hands slide on the railings, I look down at the walking bodies on the first floor.

Honestly, I was wondering how I didn't notice stepping onto an escalator. I guess the Green Tea Frap had its way with me.

After a meaningless walk so far, I find myself nearing the Build-A-Bear Workshop. I remember this shop as a kid, getting a teddy bear myself. It was a simpler time before my life took a drastic turn where I began thinking, questioning and wondering too many things.

I stare inside the store, squinting in disbelief when I see a girl shining in the slightly faint lights. Her fair skin glimmers lightly and her dark-blue eyes twinkle in my direction.

Her lips are painted in black lipstick, and she's wearing a red and black striped long-sleeved shirt. 

We stare at each other, no intent in her eyes nor mine, however, I can't look away. 

I can feel my face heating up, holding our gazes longer and longer.

Neither of our gazes budged.

I panic. I'm thinking of a way to break the eye contact; it seemed too awkward to walk away, let alone look somewhere else.

What do I do? I look up at the ceiling.

What the fuck was I doing?

I dug myself in a deeper hole by doing that. My stomach tossed and turned, realizing I may have ruined the moment. I needed to see that girl's eyes again, though; I wanted to. I needed to, badly.

I hesitate as I lower my head slowly, looking quite dramatic. I close my eyes, reluctantly opening them once my neck straightens. Disappointment washes over me when I no longer saw her in my sight. I tilt my head, trying to get a better angle of inside the store. She was there, alright. A statue of a bear was blocking part of her head. I could see she was turned around looking at teddy bear skins.

My mind was telling me to approach her, but the memories of two months ago lingered in my head, causing a lack of motivation to pursue her. It made me walk off in another direction. God knows where it goes.

"Goddamnit," I feel so fatigue, just reminding myself of the incident only made me feel so weak, so tired, so beat down. No one would pick me back up after I fall. They'd merely monitor me, waiting for me to get up myself. I rubbed my forehead.

As I started to walk away to search for my friends, sadly, I took one last glance into the store.

My eyes widen, and I thought I honestly lost track of time. My heart rapidly skips multiple beats as my eyes fixated on such a beautiful sight. _Holy shit._

Her dark, red hair came into my view. The serene grace of it was flowing as she walked past the crates of teddy bear skins. It was apparent that her hair was made of the most beautiful silk, the dazzling gleam of it hypnotizing me.

"Oh, baby come to me," Slowly, my feet take baby steps towards the shop the redhead girl is in. My stomach flutters as her body came more into my view. My chest tightened, and a sense of nervousness hit me for the first time in a long time. It was exhilarating. She was quite small, petite if you will, and short from what I can see from all the way here. I unwillingly fix my hair, worrying if it was messy or not. I look down at my sweater and pants, flattening this out, preparing myself and my presentation.

As the in-store lights hit the strands of her hair, it glistened. Gravity seemed to be pulling me to her, forcing my every step just to this one girl.

By now, my legs were moving by themselves, as if they had a mind of their own. I got closer, and the girl turned around slowly like she knew I was coming.

She meets my gaze, giving me a weak, crooked smile. With that, my heartbeat quickens, the intensity of this moment, it's been a long time since these feelings overtook my senses, my body.

Was this it?

As my conscience fell back into the gravitational pull of reality, I stopped. Setting my feet, panicked thoughts rushed my mind, becoming a bomb that was ready to blow any minute.

Then it hits me; I couldn't lookup. I cringe, beginning to remember the events of which occurred those two months back.

Begging my mind to try to suppress those memories was a war inside me. Unfortunately, I never could win. It was too late.

I wasn't strong enough to hold back those forsaken thoughts, the worst part, I could see everything clearly inside my head. Every moment of that damned day played over in a loop. A vivid loop that always tortured and reminded me I'd never get over it, no matter how hard I tried. I was painfully forced into reliving those moments in my mind, and each time I did, it grew even more painful. This was my Hell, my guilt, that I could have done better.

My body shifted, walking to the benches from far away across the second floor. I walk and each step I took made my whole body ache. My feet were heavy, so fucking heavy.

The anguish enveloped me. I winced as I sat down on the lonely mall bench. Somehow, I still felt alone amongst the hundreds of people who passed by me. My head falls into the palms of my hands, trying to restrain tears from falling out of my eyes.

Every day, I contemplate forgiving myself. It's easier said than done, of course, but every time I do try to, it backfires.

...

I wasn't ready.


	5. Damaged

Marjorie's POV

We scurried around every corner in search of Andre. Our fear is if we leave him alone for too long, then he'd sulk on what happened two months ago. It's only for the best if we find him, he would always shut us out, not wanting our help because he deems it as a waste of energy. If only he knew we cared much more than that.

I keep my arms cross, hopping onto an escalator, "I'll go to the second floor, and you guys can try finding him down here.

My fingers scramble onto the screen as I tried calling him, but he didn't pick up.

I groan, "Dammit! He must have put his phone on silent."

My foot taps rapidly in anticipation as the rising escalator was coming to an end.

Shit, would I be too late?

Looking around the stores made me realize he could have been anywhere. I rush past Build-A-Bear Workshop and accidentally stumble, then drop my phone.

It landed face down on its screen. I pick myself up first, then dust myself off. I reach down hesitantly, fearing that my phone may have shattered during the fall.

No cracks.

Delighted, I walk forward while inspecting my phone, and I feel myself crashing down to the floor again.

I let out an "Oof!" As my back hits the mall floor.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry," My eyes look up, seeing a girl with dark blue eyes and beautiful red hair.

She picks me up and dusts me off frantically. The yellow hue from inside Build-A-Bear lightened the girl's face softly. She had a sharp jawline and a few freckles popping out from her face though she wore a subtle amount of make-up. She was quite petite.

"Thanks! Usually, people wouldn't help like that," I say sincerely with a smile, crossing my arms.

The small girl grins, barely even forming a proper smile.

"Well, lucky you. I should go," She turns away from my face and slowly saunters off.

"Hey! What's your name?" I reach for her hand before she gets too far.

Her arm seemed to stiffen up at my touch. Quickly pulling her hand away, she opens her mouth half-way, not making a peep. With a deep breath, she shakes her head.

"Skye."

I smile and tilt my head, "That's a pretty name. Last name?"

She raises an eyebrow, uncomfortably clearing her throat. "Skye," she mutters.

"Okay, I get it," I chuckle uneasily. "Maybe last name introductions aren't a thing anymore, who knows?"

"No, I just don't tell people my last name, sorry," Skye bites her lip. "Just my policy, I guess."

"That's fair," I puff my cheeks, shooting air out to weaken the silence after every reply.

Her blue eyes swiftly scan me up and down, "This is the part you tell me your name."

"Oh, sorry!" I clear my throat nervously, running a hand through my hair. "My name is Marjorie."

We exchange smiles once again; her smile looking kind of awkward.

Observing her again, Skye does have a small body, but she wasn't that much shorter compared to me. I was only slightly taller than she was. Her long, red hair extends just over shoulders. Her dark, blue eyes glisten during moments where they glance past my face.

Biting my lip, I feel myself needing to continue the conversation.

"Can we talk about how pretty your hair is? How do you get it to look so soft, so smooth?"

Skye's lips quiver, but her face remains disinterested the entire time.

"Shampoo and conditioner?" She pretends to think, her face distorting. She's sarcastic. God, I know an abundance of sarcastic people, and most of them are boys.

"I'm sorry, I don't really do this stuff."

"Do what?" I ask.

Skye sighs, maintaining a neutral face. "Conversations," She stares at me, confused, "I hope that was the answer you were looking for."

I gulp.

We both sit down on the nearby bench in front of the store, "What hair products specifically?"

"Head and shoulders," Skye answers frigidly, staring at me blankly.

I need to change the subject fast. Skye is beginning to look uncomfortable. I hope she knows she isn't alone; I'm a talkative girl but dragging on conversations one-sidedly is something I dreaded completely.

"Can I also say, your lipstick is... unique, and super pretty! I don't usually see girls use black lipstick anymore."

There you go, Marjorie, keep handing out those compliments. I slowly start to take in the faint scent of something sweet. It must be her perfume. Blueberries? Maybe.

"Yeah.. people usually get intimidated by this," Skye says, as she points to her black-painted lips, and dark red and black striped shirt. She leans her head back, then gazes at the ceiling.

Surprisingly, we end up talking for more than ten minutes. I could tell she was an awkward person, just by the way she stuttered while speaking to me. She did say she never made conversations, but maybe she didn't care. Who knows? It's not every day you run into a redhead girl in Saskatoon, let alone one that dressed and looked like this.

Well, there was this one redheaded girl that we once knew, but she's a closed chapter by now.

Unlike that certain girl, Skye seemed quite timid from how she was answering some of my questions. It felt like she was uninterested in talking, but kept dragging on the conversation in an attempt to be kind.

But, every time she spoke, she had the same neutral expression on her face and sounded blank in her replies.

"Any cute guys you've seen lately?" I smile in anticipation as I like hearing about the occasional eye candy people see.

I could see Skye's pupils dilate, and her cheeks becoming rosy. She gulps and hesitates for a moment.

"Well?" I look into her eyes, then gesture her with my head to let her know its okay to speak.

"Uhm.." The redhead twiddles her thumbs nervously. "I don't know how to answer that without sounding icky."

"Nonsense! We both like boys, don't worry," I chuckle. "Or girls, if that's your thing. Or both."

Skye covers her mouth, trying to hide the fact a tiny grin was forming after my comment. She reluctantly lets out a soft giggle.

After what seems like forever, she let out a dreamy sigh. It caught me off guard, and it was apparent her mood changed drastically.

Her eyes shoot up at me, "Well there was this boy that was making googly eyes with me earlier. He had black glasses with big lenses, wore a nice dark green sweater."

She glances down at her legs and couldn't resist the temptation any longer. Her glossy white teeth started to show, as she let out a big smile.

Shaking her head, she tries to suppress the smile, only to have her fail once again.

I was flustered. This was Skye's first answer with detail and emotion. To my surprise, she also let the biggest smile form. I grew interested.

The boy she talked about seemed familiar. I didn't ponder about it too long and nodded to let her continue speaking.

"I'm not one to approach people, so I was kind of hoping he would. That sounds weird, but I got tired of waiting and decided to go after him," Her cheeks become even rosier and her lips formed into a noticeable frown. "But when I did work up the energy to leave the store, he was already gone. Didn't bother trying to find him."

Skye looks saddened, I guess it was because she didn't approach this guy sooner.

I then realize something.

Oh shit! She was describing Andre! I immediately get up and look around frantically.

"I think you just described my friend, was he tall and was his hair like this?" I wave my hands above my head to sculpt out Andre's hair.

"He didn't have potato hair," Skye tilts her head, confused.

I show her a picture, "This guy! Him! My friends are looking for him!"

Skye frowns and sighs deeply. "Yes, that's the one." Her eyebrow furrows. "He... y'know what, nevermind."

I swallow nervously before looking into Skye's saddened eyes, "Don't worry. He's up for grabs; he's free as fuck. But I have to warn you, he's-" My phone suddenly buzzes, abruptly stopping me.

It was Andre. I answer the call quickly and look both ways just in case I don't bump into anyone again.

"Where are you? You better not be moping."

He laughs loudly, "I'm fine, Tagu, Nick, and John found me, and I think we're about to leave. Meet us at the entrance?"

"Sure thing," I hang up and rub my temples.

"So... you want my number? We can hang out sometime, maybe next week?" I ask her grinning.

Skye reluctantly agrees and saves my number into her contacts, "You seem shy; I'm impressed you talked to me for ten minutes."

"I'm not shy, mind you. I just don't-" Skye stops herself, looking at the corner of the bench. "It's just I didn't mean to knock you over."

"That's understandable."

"I hate being mushy, but I'm glad you're nice. If that was someone else I knocked over, they could have been bitchy about it," Skye pushes her hair behind her ear. "I'm not much of a people person."

"Look, people person or not, if you really want to get to know me," I bite my lip, snickering. "If you wanna get to know Andre, I can ask him if he wants to come hang out with us next week."

Her eyes widen, and her cheeks suddenly become as red as her silky hair.

Skye lingers in her thoughts for a moment, "Sorry, that's a no for me. I'm not good around people. I usually avoid them."

"Awe, Skye" I reassure her softly. "It'll be fun, I promise. I haven't met anyone new this summer yet, and I'm sure my friends will love you."

"How are you so sure?" Skye's skeptic stare, along with the tone of her voice makes me wonder if I'm pushing her too much.

Skye frowns, breathing in heavily and shaking her head. "I can't just dive into this," she says.

I see her eyes become watery, and I'm uncertain how she would react if I comfort her. Skye looks anxious in her seat.

"It's just when I saw your friend, and we made eye contact, I felt something towards him. I've never had to deal with those types of feelings before," Skye looks down dreamily, masking her face with her small hands. "I sound like an idiot."

I see her face slowly flush red again--confused, distraught and overwhelmed.

"What made you hesitate to go up to him?" I ask, sitting closer to her.

Skye's breath is shaky, finally unmasking her pretty face, "He looked up at the ceiling all of a sudden. I got confused, so I went back to my own business."

I hide my face in embarrassment. Of course, Andre would do some dumb shit like that.

"I'm sorry he did that, he probably got nervous. Considering, you are beautiful."

I see a soft, gentle smile form as if she's relieved, "Oh... That's.. interesting."

I look at her and tap her shoulder, "You're sweet. I haven't heard anyone talk like that about Andre since, three months ago," I bite my lip nervously. "Even if you did say just a little bit."

Skye shivers as she feels my hand patting down at her shoulder comfortingly.

"And it's sweet you feel like that. Andre always looks at a person's eyes before meeting them. He has an affinity for eyes he thinks shine brighter," I add subtly. "No wonder he did what he did. He couldn't hold the eye contact for too long, or else he might have just gone up to you."

Skye looks down, looking completely lost in her thoughts. Her face lights up as she starts to blush again, "Aww.."

"You'll know if he likes your eyes if he doesn't look away. He's also very accepting of everyone. He's sometimes a nervous wreck around new people, but Andre usually copes with it by talking to them and making them laugh so that he calms down."

Skye wonders, "If he talks to new people, he _calms down_? I thought you said he was nervous talking to new people."

"Yeah, he is," I answer. "But he loves making people happy, and when he makes them laugh, it just calms him down. That's his way of knowing others accept him."

"I'm not sure you're using the word 'nervous' right," Skye says deadpan, still grinning, unbeknownst to her.

"I'm being sincere. It seems weird, but he's explained to us before that hearing and seeing happiness in different forms makes him calm down," I stretch out my arms, cracking my knuckles. "He doesn't have a reason for it either; it's just natural for him to feel like that."

God, if I didn't have to boost him so much, he'd already have her with us out the entrance.

"Hm..." Skye doses off dazedly and loses her train of thought.

I start to wave my hand in front of her, and she jumps.

She flusters, her words jumbling around in the air, "What the-?! Hey!"

"You looked lost, so I came to find you, with my hands," I laugh loudly for a few seconds.

"Was that supposed to be a joke?" Skye asks, biting her lip. "Stop. Your laugh is gonna make me laugh."

As those words escaped her mouth, I hear her finally let out a loud laugh, a beautiful laugh. It's strange almost, considering she's been quiet and reserved the whole conversation, other than crying.

It's slightly jarring to hear her finally laugh out loud. She seemed introverted towards me, but I guess she opened up quickly.

After the laughter slowly subsides, I reluctantly ask, "What were you, uh, thinking about?"

Her face beams again, "Just, imagining hanging out with you and realizing it may not be _that_ bad of an idea," She stops herself.

"I think you're thinking 'bout something else." I point out, teasingly nudging her shoulder.

Skye ignores me and clears her throat, "Are you sure he'll be interested in _me_?"

Skye is antsy in her seat, twirling her hair with her fingers nervously.

I place my hand on her shoulder gently again, "Oh, Skye, he'll love spending time with you. I mean, look at you. You're everything he likes in a girl, and I'm not just talking about looks."

She lightens up and stares at me for a moment to process what I said.

I stare at her and continue, "Just relax, okay?"

Skye's lips twitch and suddenly form into a smile as she ponders about him even more.

"What if he doesn't think of me like that, Marjorie? What if your other friends, you know, what if they-" Skye rubs her forehead, breathing loudly. She was overthinking too much. "I'm sorry for acting this way. It's just; this is too much to take in for one sitting."

I wonder for a bit, "If I didn't want you to come, I wouldn't have asked," I say. "I may as well have just gone by after you picked me up.

I pause and whisper, "...and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have stared so long unless he wanted to meet you. And don't worry, my friends are all angels. Known them since they were kids."

She looks up at me, her blue eyes glistening slightly, "I guess you're right.. I'm just afraid of being put in that position, you know? Last time I had others around me, I got hurt."

"All of us have been helping Andre recover from a bad experience with a person, too" I bend the rules, breaking the promise only lightly. "We don't have to know what's happened to you, but believe me when I say, we'll cheer you up. All we do is live care-free."

"Really? You don't have to," Skye looks down at her thighs, surprised at what I had said. "I'm starting to say too much, Marjorie."

"If you aren't comfortable talking about anything personal it's fine," I lay my chin on my palm. "And believe me, we do have to. That's what we do."

"I hope he feels better," Skye says, rubbing her thigh worriedly.

"He'll probably hope for you to feel better, too," I add to her reply and rub her shoulder. We both stand up.

"Thank you again for talking to me. Any other person would have passed me by," Skye finally shoots her eyes up to me.

I smile, "Let me know if you're down to hang out. It's okay if you don't want to."

"Thanks, Marjorie. I'll think about it. I haven't had a talk this good for as long as I can remember."

I awkwardly hug Skye, her body tenses up, but she returns the embrace.

I could feel her heartbeat become rapid, and I pull away, "too much?"

"Yeah... but we'll get there. I guess that makes us friends now?" Skye asks drearily.

I nod, "I'd like that. Friends." As I walk away, I glance back to wave her goodbye, and she does the same.

I guide myself through the crowded mall to the entrance where everybody is waiting.

Andre looks at me and gives me a big smile, "Did you take a number two or something?"

"No! I ran into a girl," I smirk, "...with red hair."

Andre looks at me bewildered, "Oh... well, that's nice. Let's go, guys."

Julianna speaks and walks along with me, "Is that why you took so long?"

"Yea, and I didn't realize our talk had gone that long. She seemed shy and timid during our conversation. She's an introvert, but she opened up to me quicker than I anticipated. Her name is Skye,"

Andre turns his head halfway to look at me, "That's a pretty name,"

He lets out a sigh, and his face brightens, "I wish I could see her eyes again, you know--" Andre abruptly cuts himself off, and a frown spreads across his face. He stopped talking the rest of the way.

"Oh yeah? What'd you guys talk about?" Lance buzzes sounding interested.

Julianna scoffs, "You interested or something?"

"No," He replies, patting her on the head gingerly.

"Life, school, and boys. Typical convo stuff," I glance at Lance behind me.

I come to a halt and grab Julianna and Lance by their shoulders to stop in them in their tracks. I bring them close as the others keep walking.

"Okay, so, Skye made mention of a boy that she was having a, somewhat flirty, staring contest with while she was at Build-A-Bear," I whispered faintly.

"What does that have to do with us?" Lance asks.

I point my eyes towards Andre.

"Oh! It was Andre she made googly eyes with! Should we ask him how he feels about seeing her?" Julianna asks and looks intent on running over to him.

"No. This is the plan guys: I gave Skye my number. I'm planning to let her hang out with us and--"

I was quickly cut off by Lance, whose eyes look ambitious, "--and we're bringing Andre along with us? Genius."

I high-five Lance and mutter, "Right? We take him along everywhere anyway, so this is perfect."

I stop and think, "Just... let's go easy on him, let's not force the two to, you know, force them to like each other. Let them take it slower than it usually is," I suggest. "I know damn well Andre isn't over what happened to him so slow would be good. Please. Skye doesn't seem in the best shape, either. She made a tiny mention of a rough past too."

Lance moves forward and starts to tread slowly to let us catch up.

"I agree. I mean, Andre would have had at least some confidence to go up to her after making eye contact with a girl he thinks is pretty," Lance's face beams, "Maybe he didn't do it this time around because he's not.."

Lance hesitates to continue and frowns.

"He might not be ready. Two months is too short to get over something like that," Julianna nods as she finishes Lance's sentence.

I feel a rush through my body, "Okay, let's just let them have fun together; they don't have to be intimate right away."

I pause abruptly, "Wherever we hang out next week, let's try not to pressure them into talking to each other, please?"

We all nod in agreement and run back to the group. The plan was set.

"Are you feeling any better, bud? We were all looking for you," Miguel asks while brushing Andre's back with his hand.

"Yea, I'm glad you guys care enough to notice I was gone," Andre says with relief.

Andre smiles, however, shaking his head and taking a deep breath.

"I did see a red-head, though. Marjorie was talking about her. Rare to see a person with natural red hair, not after- y'know, the other girl we know with red hair. It was dark too, fuck, it looked so soft I-- never mind."

Miguel smiles, "Let's take you home."


	6. Cool Cat

Andre's POV

As Lance was driving John and me home, I look out the window to see a purple and red sky. The colourful twilight sky hypnotizes me in a trance of endless thoughts. 

That girl I saw, Marjorie told us her name was Skye. It was such a beautiful name. It seems ironic that the sky has the same dark red colour as her hair, only that it had a hint of purple to it.

The clouds dispersed, disappearing entirely, allowing the stars to faintly emerge. The slightest drops of light begin to shine down on us and the streetlamps, one by one, flicker on in a domino effect.

We were nearing my house, turning the corner past Latrace Crescent, and driving by an abundance of old and outdated looking houses. All the homes we drove by had pine trees, some even close to the mature height they grow to. Of course, there were other trees, mainly pure oak or birch trees.

The car smoothly turns left under the crosswalk lights of an elementary school. I lean back, fixating my eyes on the sky once more. 

Ah, the sky. It's going to be hard looking up and holding back a smile. Her name had to be something we look at every day unless someone was never to leave their houses. However, her name spelt with an 'e' was a unique characteristic I'd never live down even if I tried — sky with an e.

It's as if she floods my thoughts, the infatuation she's causing me to experience right now was strong, almost too strong. On the other hand, I was trying to shut them out, trying to close them up in a box.

Conflicting thoughts float in my head like balloons in the sky after someone let go of them. I didn't even know if I was fully ready to pursue someone new. I've practically forgotten how it was like to be alone. I'm so used to being with someone coming home from school to text them, looking forward to dates, and hanging out. Receiving and giving an unfathomable amount of love and affection, you get used to it.

You get used to it so much that you forget what it was like before time like that - a time where it was just you and no one else. My heart still aches when I lay in my bed at night and just lay there staring into the pitch blackness of my room: no video calls, no texts, nothing. You never get used to being alone, some people do, but that person is not me.

"Andre! We're here," Lance startles me, snapping me out of the trance the sky had me in.

Without a word, I open the car door and wave goodbye as Lance slowly pulls out of my driveway. I walk over to the front door, and as soon as I insert the key, my brother opens the door.

"Did you have fun?" He asks curiously.

"Yes, I did," I reply apathetically, recklessly tossing my shoes off to the side.

He smiles, "That's good. Is it okay if I keep using your computer?"

I groan and roll my eyes, jokingly, "Go ahead, Adrian. Where's mom and dad?"

"They're both at work; they told me to tell you to cook dinner later at five-thirty," Adrian jogs up the stairs and heads towards my room fast. I hear the door shut quietly.

I sigh as I lay on the couch and take out my phone, staring at it for a few seconds. No messages. I feel a lump in my throat, and I bury my face in my hands. I'll never get used to this feeling of loneliness; it is always a bitter feeling to feel lonely. Some people appreciate isolation, and some even get used to being single faster than how long it usually takes, which for me, is physically and mentally impossible.

I've felt like this every day, even when I was with my ex, being alone does something to me. My friends reassured me I'd be fine after two months, but I think they got the message that two months isn't enough time to heal the wounds in my heart. I blame myself for what happened. I blame everything on myself for every ounce of dissatisfaction I gave her. It was all my fault.

However, all those feelings and emotions inside me are waiting to burst. I'm afraid of what will happen if they do, not just to me, but to everyone around me.

Nick's POV

I laugh out loud as I show Marjorie and Miguel a meme from an Instagram page. Julianna, Marjorie, Miguel, and Tagu suggested we all take a stroll by the river.

"I live by here guys, I may as well go home," I say as I toss a pebble into the flowing river.

I see a ripple in the water and take a moment to admire the sound of water flowing calmly. The sunset was the backdrop of the river, catching me by surprise at how beautiful it looks. The orange rays of sun reflecting off the river create a picture-perfect scene if someone were to take one, and I found myself sitting among the rocky outcropping on the water. One small misstep and I soak my new clothes. It was difficult trying to keep balance; there were too many eye-catching things to distract me. 

The bridge leading to the University of Saskatchewan was on the left of the river. To the right was an abandoned train bridge, which people could actually walk on.

In the corner of my eye, I see Marjorie holding up her phone, presumably taking a picture of me sitting on the rocks.

I carelessly stand up and stumble onto the stones, having to crawl my way out, "Hey!"

We all have a good laugh and look at the picture as I hopped back onto the pavement, "It isn't half bad. You a photographer?"

"No, but I took photography classes in semester one of last year," Marjorie beckoned me to keep following.

I happily walk beside her and smile, "You guys are super nice, I'm glad I came along today. I don't have many friends at my new school."

"We're always happy to bring new people along, especially if one of us already knows them. It gets awkward if it's anyone we met," Tagu answers as she skips along the pavement of bricks.

I look at Marjorie for a second and snicker.

"What are you looking at?" Marjorie asked, noticing my unwavering gaze and snickering.

I felt myself begin to blush. My mouth opens, but I couldn't seem to speak, as if the words stuck to my throat. Fuck.

Miguel smirks, "He's admiring you, Marjorie. Your face, I mean."

Again, no words come out and awkwardly stare at the ground. I decided to change the subject, "You guys got any pets?"

"Smooth transition to avoid even more awkwardness. I like it," Miguel adds, patting my back and laughs. "That was awkward, sorry."

I look down and feel Marjorie's eyes on me. I wonder if anyone would even answer my question.

"I have a dog," Julianna finally answers, causing me to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Me too," Tagu beams as she looks up at the sky and sees, a seagull passes by.

"We all have dogs, Nick. I have a Husky/Blue-Heeler mix, Julianna has a Pomeranian and, Tagu has a Corgi," Miguel glances at his phone and starts to text. "Marjorie has a doggo, too."

"I know John has one and Andre may get one soon, right? He talked about it on our way out of Midtown," Marjorie adds, looking delighted.

"I have one," I add as my gaze shifts into the orange sunset.

We all head over to a stone park bench by the railings looking out into the river. We see one of those river ferries pass by as we look down at our phones.

"We need to go on one of those, you guys," I suggest while I turn my head to look at them.

"This river ferry may be expensive, but it'll be worth riding it with the right people," Miguel smiles at all of us sweetly.

We smile at him back and nod our heads, "Yes, we should; it can help all of us relax. Especially, Andre," Tagu mentions as we continue nodding our heads.

"I don't want to ask, but what happened between him and, you know? Like the full story," I hesitantly ask as they all look at me stone-cold with sad eyes.

"We promised him we would never bring it up to anyone, even those closest to him. He says he doesn't want us to remember either. We all lost a friend that day," Marjorie gulps as she wipes a droplet of sweat from her cheek.

"I'm sorry, I didn't--"

Julianna cuts me off, "It's okay; just promise us you won't ask anymore."

"I promise."

She bites her lip and slowly lowers her head.

We didn't talk the rest of the way.

Tagu's POV

"Marjorie, who was that girl you mentioned Andre making googly eyes too?" I reluctantly ask as we sit on the bus alone.

"Her name is Skye, she a redhead," Marjorie answers as he scrolls through her list of Snapchat streaks.

"Oh yeah, Andre definitely loves that already," I say, grinning. "He was an obsession with redheads."

Marjorie laughs, "Fuck, he does. Let's hope he feels better soon."

I yawn as I look out at the night sky was completely covered in stars, "Skye. Such a pretty name. When did she say she would come to hang out with us?"

Marjorie bites her lip and thinks for a moment, "Next week? I'm pretty sure next week."

"As I said, it might be awkward inviting people we don't know," I reply, laying my head on her shoulder.

"I know her, though," Marjorie giggles and opens more snaps.

"You met her only today!" I declare, looking up at her with a smile. "And all of us are Asian. Wouldn't she feel uncomfortable?"

"Nonsense! Alex is Latino and still hangs out with us," Marjorie counters. "And Nick is white, too!"

"Yeah, but are they with us right now?"

"Nick was, Alex wasn't," Marjorie shakes her head. "Who cares? We need some diversity; it can't be one Burmese girl with a white man and seven Filipinos."

"Tagu, calm down," Marjorie blurts, snorting out in laughter again. "You're only asking those questions because you're nervous."

"Who says?" I raise an eyebrow and suck in my lips. "You can't read my mind."

Marjorie rolls her eyes, "I've known you since we were all little; it'll be fine."

I give up, adjusting my glasses and laying my head against the fabric seat of the bus, "Alrighty then."

"Hopefully, Skye will open up to us. You guys are all nice, and John, Andre, and Lance won't mind either," Marjorie closes her phone and rests her chin on her fist. "Just don't bombard her with questions, have small talk, and give her space."

I snicker smugly, "Andre won't mind that she's there for sure."

Marjorie winks, "That's the plan, for him and her to do the _NASTIES._ "

"Okay, maybe not that," I cover her mouth. "Andre is an innocent virgin boy, and should be treated like one."

" _Heh? Innocent?"_

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" I shove her face out of the way playfully as the bus comes at a full stop. "We're here! I'll see you on Skype, I'm guessing?"

"Knowing the rest of our friends, they're already in a call," Marjorie brandishes her hand back and forth, waving me goodbye.

I smile and flip her off, and I see her roll her eyes through the window of the bus. As the bus grew smaller and smaller in the distance, I open the door and hear my dog, Tybalt, barking loudly.

"Hey, buddy! C'mere!" I ruffle his fur and give him a belly rub before entering my room. He follows me while looking into my eyes, and he jumps on my bed and lays there. I caress his fur once more and log onto Skype.

Unsurprisingly, they're all in the call already and I click the green button to join, "Hey guys! Did you and Julianna make it home, okay?"

Miguel grins through his webcam, "Yea, we did! Thanks."

I lean back into my chair and notice that Andre is missing.

"Where's Andre? He would've been here by now," I ask, sounding slightly concerned.

"He went to Superstore to get groceries with his parents, he left ten minutes ago," John says, pressing away at his keyboard as he plays one of his video games.

Nick joins in and screams "wazzup" like how they did in those Budweiser commercials. We all laugh loudly and repeat the phrase. Gosh, we're fucking losers. They're _my_ losers though, that's all that matters.

All of us end up losing track of time, and we talked and talked for as long as we could about anything we wanted. Laughter, happiness, and the sound of voices fill my headphones as I lay back in my chair, just listening to my best friends.

"Why was the guitar teacher arrested?" John covers his mouth, leaning on his elbows against the desk.

We all plead him to stop, except Nick, who kept encouraging him,

As he clears his throat, he hits us with the punchline.

_"For fingering A-minor."_

We all groan, scolding him that the joke wasn't funny. Well, maybe kind of funny.

"C'mon! That was so bad, it was good-"

The sound of a Skype call ends, as Julianna kicks John out of the call, "He's in time-out."

The laughing finally subsides. I glance at my clock, 2:30 AM.

"Marjorie and Andre should have been here by now. Look," I point to the clock behind me, but they don't seem worried at all.

"They probably got home late and fell asleep," Lance says, eating a slice of pizza, "I might even go to sleep after this slice, guys."

Everyone agrees and one by one: 'Goodnight' repeats every five minutes until there were only two people left.

Nick and I are the last ones, and it was silent in the call until he yawned.

"Aren't you going to go sleep, Nick?"

"Yeah, soon. Just need to finish this game," Nick's eyes don't veer away from his T.V screen.

"I'll see you tomorrow then? I'm assuming you're going to come back tomorrow?" I ask and hover the mouse icon over the end call button.

"Yeah! Tonight was fun, I'm glad I didn't spend it alone like most nights," Nick says, finally looking at me.

"Goodnight then, Nick," I tiredly smile at him.

"Night! Have a good night's rest!" Nick replies, nodding at me to end the call.

I ended and shut off my computer. Tybalt's head shoots up, and he moves to the foot of my bed and lays back down.

I stroke his fur and ruffle his head, "Goodnight, Tybalt."

I take off my glasses and rest them onto my nightstand, and as soon as my face hits my pillow, I lay my blanket over me and acknowledge the humming sound of my furnace.

My eyes flutter, and I fall into a deep slumber.


	7. Concrete Angel

Skye's POV

I isolate myself in my room, with closed curtains and dim lights. I pray that my parents don't barge in. I sigh, wiping the sweat dripping off my eyebrow and strum random chords on my electric guitar.

My phone beams and gives off a 'ding.' I reach and stretch over with my arms, hardly snagging it in my hand.

My eyes adjust to the light of the phone screen. I squint and see a faint text; my eyes perceive to be from Marjorie. I immediately wipe my eyes and shake my head.

Marjorie: Skye! We're planning to hang out tomorrow! It's a day earlier than expected, but I promise it will be worthwhile.

The internal screaming starts again, and my mind submerges into the pit of confusion. Marjorie and I had an okay conversation but, I wasn't ready to surround myself with new people, considering there were many of them.

I scratch my head and bring my pillow to my face. I fall back aggressively and scream into my pillow furiously, big mistake.

"Skye!" My heart sinks as I hear my dad yell at me from the other room.

I throw the pillow off my face and sit up as if nothing happened.

The doorknob shakes, and my door swings open.

I hesitate as I focus on my dad. He's wearing his tuxedo, like he does every day, trying to be perfect all the time, and also to remind me I'll never be as perfect as him and my mom.

"If I hear you scream one more time, you will be moving out of this house tonight!" He yells at me. I wince and try to hold back tears.

I blink and let a single tear roll down. I calmly reply, "Yes, father." I gulp, wipe my tear, and look up at my father, "Where would I go?"

My father's face erupts into anger, "Anywhere away from here. Just look at this room, it's a bloody mess!"

I couldn't contain myself, "I cleaned it up as you asked, it's clean I swear!"

I rush over to the light switch and flick it on.

He scoffs, and without a word, he slams the door.

My lip jerks, and I bite my lip to hold the tears, but my eyes give in and burst anyway. I curl up into the corner of my room, so bright in the dark.

The abuse has been going on for six years. They always done that for no reason, in private, of course. In public, I'd be ridiculed and humiliated in front of countless people in restaurants, cotillions; you name it. They were smart about it; they'd talk about me and my 'problems' subtly, they always wanted to be seen as this perfect family. They manipulate people, including me and my brother. However, my brother isn't not exactly nice either. He abuses me too.

I'm the one everyone blames, the one useless person in this family. They've openly explained I was worthless. Every day, they tell me the same fucking things. I never got used to it. It's gotten so bad; I became so frightened in public, I'd have to agree with everything my parents say or else they'd give me shit for it later. The predicament I'm in is just so messed up; it's so hard to handle.

It's a cliche to say they don't understand who I am, what I do, how I dress, what color makeup I use, but my parents judge me for everything about who I am. They don't support me, nor do they care about me. On certain days, they'd only be decent to me if whatever I did benefited them; they never take my interests seriously.

What's the point of telling myself they don't understand when they barely even consider me as their child. They act so humbly and noble during parties that everyone justifies their words against me - their only daughter. I've never felt like a daughter, nor a child someone cared and loved. I've decided that over the years of existing, I'm an excuse for a human being, all because it's what has been engraved in my mind, nothing positive unless it's useful to them, nothing, no love, nada.

With that in mind, it caused a side effect. It never gets comfortable trusting new people, not anymore anyway. The last time I believed in "friends" was when the same ones turned their backs on me because I had the "rich" and "caring" parents. They didn't want to be friends with a privileged white, rich girl, and they fucking walked away, considered me dirt and trash because of my own parents' accomplishments? The ones they didn't even deserve? Yeah, great. Because somehow, their achievements were passed down to me? After all, I confessed to them? How could I trust after that? 

I told myself that day, that would be the last time I'd give someone my trust. I may as well be alone my whole life, because if those few people I mistakingly chose to justify myself and why I'm so damaged, then what's the point if everyone else is probably going to act the same way. I could care, but it just proved my parents' points even further; I was nothing, useless, nada. If the two people who were supposed to care for me don't, then how could I expect to find that in anyone else?

I tried clearing my name, of course, explaining that what they did never benefited me. My 'friends' didn't believe a word I said. To them, I was privileged; to them, I was 'ungrateful' and that I should be more thankful that I had everything. Did they even consider what I had to go through, did they even understand me at all?

I claw at my wrists, wanting to feel something else other than emotional pain. I take a deep breath and stare at what I've done. Not much damage, I'm still sane enough to stop myself from doing something like that, at least when my family is home anyway.

My body and mind feel uneasy, nauseous. I grab my phone, my hands shaking, barely able to even hold it up. My eyes try to focus into view, how should I reply to Marjorie? What's the point? What if she and her friends were like the rest, that boy, what if he's like them? My eyes must have been playing tricks on me; he couldn't have been that attractive to catch my attention. That rarely ever happens; it's hard to describe how I felt when I did see him.

I gulp and unsteadily place my phone on my clean bed, with folded up bedsheets, as my father asked me to make them.

Even though my parents always butcher my every single piece of self-esteem I have left, I still do what they order of me. I try to listen as best I can because afterward, I shamelessly hope they acknowledge me even if I know they won't. I'd also hope for the yelling and shouting of the day to stop, the occasional hand-to-face from my mom and dad when I did something wrong, only it was wrong to them. 

It also gives me solace, knowing after I wash their dishes and tables and bedrooms, they grow quiet. Almost too quiet. Temporary peace is one thing, but it would repeat every day. The summers I have shouldn't be brought upon anyone, no one, not even I, could get used to this treatment. I barely even have time to play instruments anymore, they enrolled me into piano lessons one time, something I never had an interest in, but to them, it would make them look good, something to add to their resume. 'Our daughter can play the piano,' is what they'd say, but to me, it doesn't mean anything, just style points to how good their family looks. 

Learning the piano transformed into me discovering the guitar, not the electric, but the acoustic and classical. Since I already fell into the hole of music, I asked about the drums. They enrolled me in a prestigious concert band at the University of Saskatchewan (UofS), but instead of the drums, it was other percussion equipment. Of course, I was happy to learn different types of percussion equipment. So I came to my parents, asked them for a drumkit, and they told me that the drums weren't up to our standard. Then I explained that they should consider the drumset as percussion because it's just different types of percussion brought together.

To my father, this was me embarrassing him, proving him wrong, 'talking out of line.' Let's just say I ended up with bruises that day. After that incident, they forced me to play the flute, the bloody flute. I don't know why I'm guessing it's because they had that mentality that flutes had more 'class.'

In the College of Education building of the UofS, where the concert band would perform, practice, etc. had an entire section of electric instruments. Bass guitars, electric guitars, drumkits of all sizes, keyboards, you name it. The professor there was kind enough to let me use and learn some of the instruments. Since I used to be one of the percussionists for the concert band, I learned how to play the drumkits pretty well. Knowing that I could probably test my limits, I tried a hand on the electric guitars, they were like the acoustic guitars. 

Using my previous knowledge on finger placements on chords, pitches, and notes I learned while playing the acoustic guitar, it was easy to teach myself how to use the electric. The bass guitar, on the other hand, was straight forward. Four-strings, it's on the bass clef, and it has lower pitches and notes.

During one of my sessions, they caught me. There was I, a tiny eighth-grader, staring at my dad's terrifying and angry expression. They booted me off the concert band for that reason; I guess that wasn't up to their standards either. They verbally tortured me on the way home, and at home, a twelve-year-old girl at the time, they just...

I always wonder why I was put into this world when it seems like I was never wanted, anyway. Those morbid thoughts bounce through my mind, and I shrug it all off, just like the flute rotting away in my closet. The drumkit, electric and bass guitars we did own, was bought by me. I had to haggle for them with my own money on Kijiji, which is Canada's version of Craigslist.

The amplifier to my bass and electric and my drumkit are collecting dust in my closet as well. My walk-in closet could hypothetically be used as a separate room. I used this to my advantage, hiding the amplifiers, instruments, and drumkit deep within the cabinet, behind a rack of clothes and furniture my parents decided to put in there.

The only time I could use them is when I'm home alone. If I were caught playing the instruments, my parents would freak out, especially if they found out why I owned such instruments, then I'd have to tell them I bought them myself, which would get me into more trouble.

It's safe to say; I felt horrible; I am awful. The one thing I wish for every night is that my life is a nightmare and that every time I fall asleep, I'd wake up in a better life.

"Am I an object to you both? A slave? Is this what every daughter should feel like?" I mutter sadly, lying in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Everything in my life is a question as this started when I was young. It's sad to think my brain doesn't work the way any sane person does because of this abuse. 

Just then, my door creaks open and tiny; jagged footsteps make a sound on the wooden floor. Oh no.

"Skye, your father, is demanding you, wash the dishes, or else you're on your own for a week," My mother bitterly storms away and doesn't even bother to close my door.

I reluctantly get up and head towards the kitchen. I roll my up sleeves and wash them as I had done before.

In the corner of my ear, I hear my parents discussing my kick-out party. Every time they kick me out to fend for myself inside Wal-Mart forts and HomeDepot shelves, they throw a party. I always try to block out what I think they've said about me.

'Why do you even come back?' One may ask someday if I tell them the whole tragic story about my family life. 

Simple answer, my family comes to find me. They track me on their phones and take me back home, forcefully. On one occasion, they've dragged me into their car in broad daylight, and witnesses of those incidents assume logically that I was just a cranky, stuck-up bitch of a child. Honestly, I just wanted to get away; when they kick me out, it's a blessing and a curse. I didn't want to live a life like this anymore.

'Why don't you call Child Protection Services?' One may ask this and wonder how stupid I can be for not calling the organizations designed to assist me?

Oh no, I have. I've drawn countless amounts of times before. Once my parents receive a call asking them for an interview, with myself included. For some Goddamn reason, my parents snake their way through those interviews.

They'd tell them, "Oh! She's just going through a phase; it'll pass by soon." And always they'd send me home with them. They threatened me every time on the ride back, swearing and all. The yelling and screaming also included. I'm starting to think they bribe their way out of those situations.

I've been through that so many times that the services blocked my number. They slowly believed my parents' stupid reason for me being there, and none of the adults they would ask if I felt anything or been through shit. It's bullshit how the people who have jobs protecting people like me, don't even consider my point of view - every fucking time. No one ever finds my point of view. 

As I finish washing my dishes, I head back to my room and close the door. I curl up into my blanket and try to contain the pain inside me. I didn't want to have another violent outburst, in which I unintentionally hurt myself.

Life at school isn't so bad, considering the circumstances at home and school. In earlier years, I attended a private school during my elementary years, called Legacy Academy. When it came to High School, when I was in sixth grade, my brother asked my parents if he could attend Holy Cross for football. After, I was dragged into following him, and they told me that when I got to High School, I'd be going to Holy Cross, too, despite my protest not too. I loved Legacy and wanted to continue to their High School.

Now, I've been attending Holy Cross ever since, even though we weren't catholic, God, my family was far from being Catholics. The only problem is that I was also watching my back after my friends abandoned me. Rumors started spreading and word got out I was Brian's sister. I denied these claims, and it came back to haunt me.

My mom wasn't happy when I denied being siblings with Brian, but she got so fucking mad to the point where she hit me with a glass wine bottle. It was hard enough to crack the corner in which she hit me with. Admittedly, she was drunk, but I know even if she was sober, she would have done the same thing.

They neither cared nor had sympathy for my situation at Holy Cross either, especially after the denial of being siblings to Brian. They only cared about what my old friends said because it tainted the image I had there. They want me to be like them, and they've been pegging me more every day, and it hurts so bad because I know I'm not the child they wanted me to be and the worst part, is that they know and will not ever compromise for me.

They supported Brian more than I did since they knew about Holy Cross' reputation with sports, so in his freshman year, he went there just for football and sports, just so our family's last name could live on and spread for selfish means. Brian's academics were okay at first, but then he forced me to start doing them when he was in the tenth grade.

Believe it or not, I did a lot for Holy Cross, especially for tech during pep rallies, liturgies, and theatre. I don't like making it known that I did these things, however. I'm usually in and out helping someone who, in the end, doesn't even realize that it was me. I love it this way. I hate the thought of being the center of attention, especially after all the times my parents would put me on the spot to call me out on something when they're talking to others. If I were to gain that much attention, I'd transfer schools if I had too.

Aside from that, not to toot my own horn, but I love helping people. Seeing other people smile makes me happy, or what I think should feel satisfying. It's honestly the only happiness I feel on a day-to-day basis, hearing laughter. Also, I know how it feels like to be set aside, not cared for, abused; I don't want anyone to have to feel what I feel, to go what I have to go through every day, so I do the things I can for people so that they feel cared for. So they feel like someone out there, even if they might not know who did it for them, cares. If I expect anything else in return, it's not considered help, so I don't expect anything at all. 

As I said, I'm in and out fast, I don't see the reason why people would need to know it's me, and again, I hate attention.

When I found the style of fashion I was interested in, my mom pushed me down, literally and figuratively. She called my style of clothing creepy and ugly, bringing my self-esteem down lower than it was already.

I wear black lipstick because it honestly looks good on me. These clothes, goth fashion, it suits me. It's who I am. It felt good, and I got so many clothes that matched my aesthetic and style. But what's the point of trying to feel good when you're always reminded of how ugly you are, right? My parents absolutely hate my clothing, and what I wear, who I am. There was one time on a walk; my dad told me to walk one block away from where the rest of the family was because of the way I dressed. Are you fucking kidding me? They told me I was ruining their images at business meetings in restaurants, parties, everywhere. 

Not once have they told me they loved me. I don't even understand how love feels anymore, it's been so long since I've felt any.

My room's design wasn't my decision. It's bright when the lights are on, so I always keep them off, and even so, I had a queen mattress with a fancy bed frame, white bedsheets, glossy marble flooring, a nightstand with a lamp with a pink lampshade and a pink chandelier that hangs above my bed. This room was fit for a princess; it's too bad I'd never feel that type of treatment, I was treated more like a commoner, a slave.

People would peg goths as pessimists; people think I am because of how dry my answers are, rarely ever showing emotions, so that I'd never let people see me vulnerable. But, I'm not a pessimist or an optimist. I never look forward to the good and bad things in life because how can I worry about those things when I'm dealing with my own home life? I'm vulnerable at home; I didn't want to be vulnerable anywhere else.

I swallow the lump in my throat, and I finally let out all the pain and anguish from everyday events that torture me.

I hug the bear I had bought at Build-A-Bear Workshop yesterday and remember, that boy. He had the big lenses on his glasses, wore a cute, dark-green sweater, had shiny dark brown eyes, and his face was- what do they call it? Irresistible? It was bittersweet to think about him and cry about my sad life at home at the same time.

Those happy thoughts are subdued by the feelings of rejection that flood my mind, bouncing around like pinballs in a machine. The flood burrowing inside me, asking to be free, escaped through my eyes.

I wipe the pain dripping down my face, wondering how badly he and his friends would reject me after hearing my freak-show of a story. What if they think of me like my old friends? What if they give up on me? What if they don't even want me there? They probably don't want to add more baggage to their problems, hell, they might not also accept if my issues are real. I overthink more and more, how could I do this, take such a big risk? It might be all for nothing.

"It's now or never," I told myself, my breathing staggered and uneven. "It's now or never."

I sit up and reach for the phone, arms shaking violently.

A sudden cloud of slight happiness blinds me as I remember Marjorie and I's conversation about my hair, the first time someone has ever complimented me.

And it was about my hair.

I like maintaining my hair for a good reason. It makes me feel good, and it feels like the only thing I can control in my life, like wearing my black lipstick too.

I rub my temples and think to myself, what if they accept me? What if he does? I remember his name, and I gently let my lips form into a painful smile.

My fingers shake as I type away at the keyboard, hearing click, click, click.

I hit send and watch the speech bubble pop-up.

I jump when I see my door open with force, hearing slam against the wall once they swung it open. It was my father.

Despite obeying every word they've told me, they throw a large paper bag with broken handles into my room.

"Get out; we don't want to see you for a week. Pack. Now!" My dad screams, red in the face.

I hear the door slam loudly, and I shiver. Like a well-oiled machine, I pack my belongings away in the medium-sized bag they provided me.

Once I finished packing, I was ready to leave. I take a deep breath; I was prepared to see him.

Andre's POV

Marjorie's phone dings loudly. She halts everyone to stop speaking; she had received a text message from her. I suddenly remember her name and gently let my lips form into a painful smile.

Skye: I'm down. Where and what time, Marjorie?

I see her head shoot up from her seat. I feel a rush of adrenaline and excitement for tomorrow's events. Was this it?

Marjorie cheers loudly, jumping giddily up and down in her chair, "Guys! She said, yes!"


	8. Take On Me

John's POV

The night was young, 7 PM sharp. I suggested we hang out by our favourite spot in the city, Riverlanding.

The river during the sunset gives off such a pleasant vibe to the events that occur around you. It's as if time freezes when you listen to the river flow and watch the orange of the sun become red, on the reflection of the water.

My head reacts to the ding on my phone. It was Tagu.

_Tagu: I'm coming! Tell Lance not to worry. My mom let me use the car._

_Really? Thanks, I guess._

I slide my phone inside my pocket and wait by the window. My dog lies beside me as I catch the view of the sun, finally settling on a peaceful night. It was technically the evening; actually, it's just the sun sets later in the day during summer.

My dog yelps at the sound of a horn honking at the front lawn.

I pull myself up, "Ma! I'm going na. See you later."

I grab my key and my wallet on the coffee table and rush myself outside and feel keen to spend time with Tagu. Goddamn, finally!

A smile forms across my face as I see her through the car window, waving at me with a smile back.

I shoot open the car door and eagerly let myself in. I buckle my seatbelt in and smile at her.

I glance behind me, noticing no one else was in the Jeep.

"The girls? Where are they?" I ask.

"They all have their rides, I'm pretty sure," Tagu replies, smiling while she drives away from my crescent.

She lets her hand rest on the gear stick, and I smoothly place my hand on top. We both make our hands intertwine, and she looks at me for a moment.

"John?" She has a slight blush across her pale face. "Hey."

"Just let it happen. I would've done this at Midtown, but we were eating," I explain, smiling back.

Without a word, she looks back onto the road and keeps driving, not letting our hands ever leave each other's grasps.

I've had feelings for Tagu for a while. I never intended to pursue her, just because I think her feelings won't reciprocate. I'm not that type of guy to just dive in headfirst into a relationship. If anything, I tend to avoid them. I feel relationships require a lot of responsibilities, and that gets added to your current responsibilities. You'd have to adapt your daily schedule to fit the others, and that takes time to get used to. People think relationships and dating is an easy task, but it takes commitment and patience. You don't truly know a person until they've opened their doors for you.

Of course, I think about all these things; every single girl I've liked before Tagu never felt right. I couldn't think of a future with them. I'm not like Andre; I don't dive into relationships with so much optimism. 

With Andre, he makes them last long; over six months for our age is long. He's had two relationships last over a year. The other girls he had crushes on all rejected him. Their loss, I guess.

I don't understand how they do it - how to dive into a relationship. I haven't even fucked around; I don't know if it's a fear of commitment, or insecurities.

But when I think about relationships, I can only ever imagine myself with Tagu. When I think about being with her, it just feels right; it feels good. If I were to have a first, I would want to be her.

"What d'you do all day? You know, before we all got ready," I ask and awkwardly try to drag out a conversation.

"I was with all of you in the Skype call. Well, Andre, Marjorie, and Miguel weren't there because of a Family Gathering," Tagu replies, tightening the grip she has on my hand.

I look down and try to hold in a smile, "Oh... I must have forgotten we Skyped earlier."

Tagu giggles and sadly, lets go of my hand to hold the rest of the steering wheel.

"I missed seeing you, John. It feels like Midtown happened way too long ago," She lets out after an unconvincing cough to cover up her jitteriness.

"I missed you too. Even though that was a week ago," I chuckle as I press on the window button and let it roll down.

I let my head peer through the window; the wind hitting my face causes me to squint slightly. It was so relaxing.

Letting my arms and head fully come out of the window, I let loose a wild scream and shout "woo hoo!" As the cool breeze of the wind engulfs my whole body. I laugh and roll the window up. I wipe my eyes and see Tagu laughing.

I wipe my eyes more and finally see her. I adjust my glasses on my face and ask, "What's so funny?"

She points above me but doesn't take her eyes off the road again. I feel my hair.

"Oh no," I mutter, panicked and take out my phone. "Bad hair day." I snicker and surrender to the laughing.

"Damn, I hope some of the guys have hair wax," I express gleefully while trying to salvage what was left of my hairdo.

"You have the same hair every day," Tagu teases.

"Shut up."

~ _A short drive later~_

"Marjorie said she would be late," Tagu groans as she walks alongside me.

I hold her hand and smile, "She'll come around. She's probably picking up Skye."

"Most likely, I can't wait to meet her!" Tagu jumps excitedly and drags me towards the pavement past the grass.

The grass was greener than usual this evening, and so were the leaves in the trees. The pavement was surprisingly clean, and the lighthouse, just beyond the stairs leading to an upper deck, didn't have brown mould stuck onto the translucent windows and brick. The top floor also extended to a parking lot where Tagu had parked the jeep.

The lower part of Riverlanding had a concrete road, which extended around the river. There were bridges on each side, so no matter where we went, we were reminded of the historic bridges of Saskatoon (We were known as Bridge City). To the right in the distance, it was about a five-minute walk, was a concession. It had a yellow and blue sail on the cone roof; it was hard to miss. Beside that was a spray-park we didn't have proper clothes for, so we wouldn't be able to run each other down with the river water.

"They arrived!" I hear Lance shouting to us as he waves his arms into the hair.

Lance and the others were on the left side of the pathway, where the other bridge was. That one, in particular, leads people to the University of Saskatchewan and Royal University Hospital. I smile back and wave to the rest, counting heads.

"Andre and Miguel not shown up yet?" I ask, making sure to doublecheck if they were behind them or us. "Hey!"

"Nope, they said they're getting money for some dinner later. Did you two bring money?" Nick questions as he looks down at our hands.

Julianna yells excitedly, "Holy shit! Are you two, finally a thing?"

I shake my head, "You could say we're, uh.."

I pause, and Tagu finishes my sentence, "Taking things slow."

"Indeed, we are," I give her a sweet smile.

I look back at Julianna, Lance, and Nick, smiling at us.

"Time is all you two will need. Best wishes to both of you," Lance chuckled teasingly.

"Dude, shut up," Tagu rolls her eyes.

Tagu and I take a seat with them, hand in hand, on top of the stone park bench in front of the railings facing the river, watching the sun descend.

Miguel's POV

Andre continues to cry in my arms. He's been at my house for what seemed like the longest time; I hated seeing any of my friends like this. Luckily, my room was mostly soundproof, but Andre was sobbing louder than an engine in an old, rusty car at this point.

"What if, man? What if it works with Skye? And what if the same damn thing happens again? I can't," Andre runs a hand through his hair. "Fuck!"

I sit him down on my bed, a feeling of remorse filling my gut, "Andre. Please calm down; my family is gonna hear you."

He sniffles and wipes his face, "I didn't know a break-up could traumatize me so much. I thought I'd be okay by now."

Honestly, I feel sympathy for him, tons. I've never been in his shoes, but I understand everything he feels just by being with him. I was the one to pick him up after that horrible break-up. This event occurred two months ago, and it is evident that Andre has a problem with his mental health. We don't know what to do; we've been trying to motivate him and put his mental health in a position where it would 'heal' for the whole two months.

The only one who could possibly pull Andre out of the hole he's stuck in, is well, himself. He has a way with people and makes them feel better in a matter of seconds. If I could make a list, it is either him, Nathan De Vera, or an old friend we said good-bye too in Grade 8 that could push him out of this slump. Andre puts others before himself far too much, that he forgets to focus on himself, so trying actually to move on from this is going to take some time, he doesn't know how to handle himself.

The thing he feels right now is abandonment; he trusted this person who he loved so much. I guess that he couldn't see this break-up coming, he thought it was in his control. The worst part, this isn't the first time this has happened. This last experience traumatized him.

Andre falls back into my bed and holds a pillow over his face. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He yells, muffled against the pillow.

I felt heartbroken for him. I rub his shoulder, trying to comfort him the best I can. "Shhhh..."

Andre's POV

I feel a buzz saw ripping at my flesh. In my heart, in my stomach, in my bones, literally everywhere, the suffering of being torn apart and put back together again every day is excruciating.

Even trying to regulate my breathing was hard.

Shivers travel down my spine when I feel a hand on my shoulder. It was from Miguel again.

Curling up into a ball, I close my eyes with lingering thoughts. Why? Why does it feel like this? I can't explain why. Am I depressed? Am I? How could I ever possibly go through this?

I feel abandoned. I'm like a used toy, recycled waiting to be used again and again. Used piece-by-piece and left to rot. The person I cared for and loved for the most abandoned me. All these feelings were here because I trusted someone, and they tossed me.

I've been having vivid nightmares about the same Goddamn moment each time, every night. Every day I wake up, wanting to scream until the pain goes away. I can't seem to control anything about myself anymore.

"The progress was good while it lasted, Miguel, but they won't go away," I announce with a crack in my voice, uncovering my messy face and blood-shot eyes.

"At least you tried, okay? You haven't had one of these attacks in a week until today. We can keep improving you," Miguel implies, passing me a cup of water.

I chug it down, almost forgetting to breathe and place the cup back onto his nightstand.

"They're not attacks," I correct, sniffling. "The voices, then nightmares, they won't stop, they won't leave me alone."

"Those are literally symptoms of anxiety," Miguel clicks his tongue. Slowly, I lay back down, and Miguel looks down at me, "Go sleep, we'll be thirty minutes late."

I smile painfully, "Thanks, Miguel."

"I guess you can look forward to seeing Skye," Miguel nudges me teasingly.

"I guess I can." I feel my surroundings become cloudy, and my eyes feel lighter, as if there were no tears there, to begin with _. "Skye.."_

Skye's POV

I was texting Marjorie while carrying my large, flimsy bag down the street. One of the handles was barely hanging by a thread. Downtown was a sketchy place during the evening, even if the sun was out. The number of drunks and crackheads I saw while walking down here boggles my mind.

"Yeah... I'm in front of Midtown," I type, taking a seat on a set of tables and chairs in front of the Starbucks window. Midtown's Starbucks is the best.

Midtown's main entrance was like an old train station. A big part of Saskatoon and Saskatchewan's history was that the first railroad passed through here, and our province was useful since we were leading every province in crop sales and exports. Saskatchewan was mainly a farming province; the prairies go on forever if you try walking it.

Marjorie didn't reply. I tap my foot and look inside my bag. There were clothes, a toothbrush, floss, my wallet with some cash and IDs, and other bare essentials I need every day.

In front of me was the RBC building, and across from that was a more prominent building; however, I couldn't see any logos or company names on it. Must have just been an office. Cars pass the street, and I wonder if Marjorie bailed on me.

Of course, she would, no one, absolutely no one would want to hang out with me. God, if I could leave, I would.

I look down at my boots, shaking my head, "I knew it was a waste."

I hear a horn honk, startling me. Glancing up, I see Marjorie.

"You're... here?" I question and attempt to smile at her.

"I am!" Marjorie opens the door for me, and I let myself in. "What? You think I'd bail on you?"

I carelessly buckle my seatbelt in and stretch tiredly. "A part of me did, I almost left right there."

"What made you stay?" She asked, pushing the signal down to merge into a lane.

I rub my chin, thinking for a moment. Honestly, the real answer was, 'I had a tiny sliver of hope that you'd ACTUALLY show up, and I'm glad you did.'

But, all that came out was, "I don't know, just decided to stand instead of leave." I shrug.

I've been walking and bussing to places all day - seven hours of repeating that process. I probably reek of sweat and have mad B.O right now. I settled on coming to Midtown to eat, but the mall was at this time, it closed during the evenings every day.

Marjorie drives past the river, and I could see a worried look on her face. She noticed something, but I start pleading in my head that she didn't notice the bag full of my stuff next to my leg, she was driving, she has to focus on the road.

"Marjorie?" I call out to her as she pulls over.

"Why do you have a bag full of clothes and other things you'd need at home?" Marjorie asks. I could hear the concern in her voice.

I panic, trying to find a bullshit answer to satisfy the question.

"Don't worry about it. Just one of those weeks, I'm alone again," I reply lazily and try to hold back bitter tears.

_Fuck, I fucked up. Why would I say that?_

"Skye. How can I not worry? This situation might suggest something," Marjorie pauses and clears her throat.

I stare at her intently and feel a few tears fall from my eyes against my will.

"Well?" My voice cracks. I subtly cover my face in an attempt to hide my eyes.

"Either you ran away or, your parents or someone kicked you out."

I wince at the thought of my parents. The endless thoughts of screaming, beating, and all the times, they pushed me down and left me there until I submitted to their selfish desires.

Marjorie gasped, noticing my wincing after the mention of them. "Your parents did this?"

"Fuck.." My body suddenly falls into her arms, my tears rushing down like a river during a storm.

What was this feeling? No, not the sensation of pain, but the feeling I felt while against Marjorie. She was gently stroking my hair; it surprisingly calmed me down. It began to feel warmer, and I felt the feeling of tears falling start to disappear.

Was this how it felt to be cared for? It was a short moment, but this to me felt like hours. I wanted to feel it again but was too afraid to ask Marjorie to keep me in her arms.

"Why?" Marjorie asks angrily, letting go of me to my dismay, "How could they do this to _you?"_

"Because," I sniff, wiping my tears with a sleeve. "They tell me that I'm a waste of space at home, they've been telling me that since I was eight." I shake my head and look up at her, turning my head towards the window to break her gaze. Everything was still blurry.

"They all can wait," Marjorie buckles her seatbelt back on. "Let's go to my place."

I feel a sudden pain in my gut, "Why?"

"Hey... it's okay," Marjorie reassures me, her soft, soothing voice ringing in my ears. "I have you here right now, so you don't have to worry anymore."

"I'm sorry. I don't know if I'd even let myself into your house at all," I bite my lip and throw my head back.

"My parents won't mind. They'll care about your situation more than anyone," She replies while she dials a number on her phone. "That's just their nature."

"Marjorie, I can't just..." I stutter nervously, anxiety going haywire throughout my body. "I barely know you. We met once, and this is only our second time seeing each other," taking a deep breath, I stumble my words as I try to convince her otherwise. "The most we've talked was over text. I can't let you do this for _me._ It's not worth it."

I hesitate to move. This feeling sticks with me, but it has never felt like this. It feels like the worst possible pain, even worse than what I've done to myself before. I hate how it came back so fast, even after the only good feelings I've ever felt were just mere minutes earlier.

Marjorie takes a deep breath, "I can't, Skye. I can't leave you here." She hesitates, bringing her hair to one side. "You're right, we barely know each other, but that doesn't mean I'll let you fend for yourself in this big city. You could get lost or, worse."

My heart sinks, and I slowly face her direction, still massaging my eyes, "I'd rather die than let you do this for me."

"Skye!" She snapped, "No! Never say that again."

I jump, surprised at such a reaction. How could someone care this much for a person they'd just met? I don't think I'll ever understand that.

I slowly nod at her, not wanting to anger her more. I feel like it hurt her when I said that, and immediately, guilt rushed into me.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You didn't mean it," Marjorie sighs and moves her hair to one side, "My heart _knows_ it's the right thing to do to help you. I care about you enough to not abandon you on your own. What if something happens to you?"

I stare at her silently and submit to her offer, "Only one night."

"Maybe more than one night," She pauses, reluctantly chuckling. _"Our_ friends can wait for us. They won't mind."

Our? I haven't even met these people, and she's already given them the title as 'our friends?' I ignore her, not understanding a single thing she's done or said. All I know that it feels good it feels like... fuck, I don't know!

Marjorie drives away from Riverlanding.

I rock back and forth in my seat and wipe the sweat dripping off my forehead.

"Ow.." I shake and feel my eyes sting, sending a wave of pain down my face.

I glance to see Marjorie frowning.

"Are you okay?" She asks softly. "We have eye drops at home."

I wanted to thank her, but all that came out was, "I'm fine." I lean back and continue to massage my eyes,

Marjorie huffs, "It's the least I can do." She says. "If you want, you can vent about why your parents treat you like this. Also, if there's anything else on your mind about anything."

"Maybe another time," I gulp. "The last time I told people about my situation—"

What was happening? I'd never been that close to opening up to someone, not since last time and especially if I didn't know them personally - I didn't know anyone personally, I just knew there are people in the world, and most of them are always bound to disappoint or hurt you. Even so, I'd still help anyone in need, just as long as they don't know it's me helping them. I don't want people to feel how I feel, but the people I've met personally are people who treated me like how my family treats me.

So I resorted to being private and anonymous about my deeds, it's better off this way.

However, there was something about Marjorie that was so welcoming; I almost couldn't help myself.

I gave in to her and decided to tell my story or part of it.

"Fine," I said, a very unsettling shake in my voice comes out, "—They deserted me. They made me feel like absolute _shit_ because of how they treated me after all I did for them."

Marjorie's lip curls, "Keep going."

"I don't want too," I try to plead with her, only to no avail.

"Ugh, Skye," Marjorie groans quietly. "Once you start something, always finish it."

What the fuck, how stubborn can she be? _"Fine."_

I hesitate for a moment, "I feel like I can't have that level of trust like that with anyone again because the people who I thought were my _friends_ weren't my friends, to begin with." I bite my lip in anger. "They were fucking snakes."

"We have a lot of those back at my school," Nodding her head, Marjorie gestures for me to continue, "Go on..."

"They called my story bullshit because I'm apparently 'a rich white-girl complaining about my _privileges and making a big deal out of nothing.'"_ Just letting those words ring in my ears again angered me heavily. "It's so fucked up that they made that assumption before actually considering my story."

Marjorie stops at a red light, "I'm not saying you have too. And don't generalize me with those assholes, okay? You opened up to the wrong people."

I claw at my thighs and stop abruptly. Marjorie, though frustrated, was right.

"I hate to say this, but my friends and I are honestly the last and only second chances you have right now. Keep that in mind," She shakes her head.

Marjorie presses on the gas, the rev of the engine drowning out my senses. Maybe she is right.

Finally, I could open my eyes. There's a little stinging, but not as much as before. Looking out the window squinting, I watch the city's buildings pass. My eyes shut slowly, and I drift off to a long-desired sleep.


	9. Here Comes The Sun

Lance's POV

It was 8:00 PM, according to my phone. The nearly set sun radiated on the water. The others weren't here yet. Miguel had called me and told us that Andre wasn't in the best condition to travel, but that was forty-five minutes ago. Marjorie called Julianna, saying that Skye was in a bad place, too and that she might come way later than planned.

"Don't worry, Lance. They'll be here," Julianna rubs my back reassuringly.

"I'm just worried about Andre. It seems like he's even worse than before," I loom over at my phone and put it in my pocket.

Laying down on the grass, I play with Julianna's hair, "Any word from Marjorie?"

"Not at the moment. What are you doing?" She chuckles as I twirl her hair with my fingers.

"Just playing with your hair," I smile and let my hand rest on my chest.

She lays down and faces me, "I've been missing you a lot lately."

I build up the courage to move closer to her. I gulp and look into her eyes, diligently. 

"I miss you too," My cheeks heat up, and I tuck her hair behind her ear.

Julianna cracks a smile and strokes my face, "I wanted to tell you something important today."

Julianna's POV

Lance grins mischievously, "Oh yeah? How important?"

My heart races rapidly and slowly feel my cheeks burning up when I inspect his eyes intently. 

I could feel the words forming in my head, and they were at the tip of my tongue. I open my mouth to speak, hesitating to let my voice be heard.

"If you're not ready to say it, I won't be ready," Lance strokes my cheek, deeply locking his eyes on mine.

There was a faint shine in his eyes, like a sparkle you see from time to time when you look up at the stars at night.

My stomach, my thoughts, they were on fire. Heat and tension build up inside me, and I had to do it, I had to tell him. If I miss this chance now, I may never have it again.

"I like you," I confess quietly. "A lot. As more than friends."

My heartbeat becomes nimble, and a large amount of weight rises from my shoulders. I bite my lip and wonder if he feels the same about me. Being afraid of rejection has impacted my life significantly, and the only way to overcome that fear is to take the chance; it was a 50/50 chance after all.

I've had a crush on Lance since the first day we met. Of course, I dated others over the years of knowing him, but Lance was always the guy I came back too, he was still there for me, and I can't get over that. He was the guy that always had a hold on my heart, even if he wasn't holding on to it himself. We all drifted after the transition to High School, with Lance leaving us first as he was a year older than us. However, those feelings never left. Looking back, they were just in hibernation, waiting to burst out the next time I saw him, talked to him.

I could sense him leaning in, and within seconds, our lips connect. I was flying. The butterflies in my stomach flew faster around, and my hands involuntarily cupped his face, lovingly, as I prepared myself for this moment. My body shifts on top of him and a jolt of excitement bursts as his hands tightly grip around my waist. 

Lance bites my lower lip, making me hum. Our lips move together, and we were in sync. It was as if we had done this before, the chemistry we had, I could tell he wanted this as bad as I wanted it.

Pulling away was painfully hard. I sit up and look down at him, placing my hands on his chest. His heartbeat was as fast as mine.

"Wow. Just... holy shit," Lance looks on in disbelief, out of breath with a smile. He sits up, propping arm onto his knee.

I blush and look down, feeling his hand slip into mine perfectly.

"You're amazing. I hope you know that."

He lifts my chin and nods at me, "You can say the same about yourself, Shortie."

We lean in together and kiss once again. Our surroundings were quiet, unmoving, only the swaying of the trees ring in our ears.

"Hey, guys–" A voice calls suddenly behind us. "Woah! I'm so sorry!" 

Lance and I pull away from our kiss, startled. 

Lance stands up and dusts himself off. Embarrassingly, he asks, "How long were you standing there?!"

Miguel chuckles, "I just got here."

I stand up too and look off into the river; my heart soars as I turn back and see Lance looking at me, a half-smirk planted across his face.

"And don't get angry at me. You two decided that it was a good idea to make-out in public," Miguel beams and nods towards me.

"He has a point," I begrudgingly agree with him.

"I'll leave you two alone then," Miguel walks away and heads towards the railing overlooking the river. "Andre needs some consoling still. He practically forced himself to come here. See you guys," 

I face Lance and reach for his hands, "Does this mean we're, you know, together?"

"What an awkward question," He nods, laughing and rests his chin on my the top of my head, "Yes it does, Julianna. Long overdue."

"It was worth the wait," I smirk and peck his lips one more time, "Let's meet up with the others, shall we?"

Lance eagerly takes my hand and leads me back to our friends.

"Are we telling them we're–"

The sound of cheers from our friends erupt as we inch closer to them, "I think they already know."

Lance laughs and raises both our hands up high, "We're official!"

I glow and feel his arms wrap around my waist.

"You guys are finally together now. I'm happy for you," Andre wobbly walks towards us and embraces us both. "It took you four years, Jyanna, you sly-dog."

"Are you okay?" I stutter and feel his arms shaking before pulling away.

"Never been better. Don't worry about me, enjoy your new relationship!" Andre gives us a half-decent attempt at a smile.

"You know we'll always worry about you, Andre," Lance says. "Try having fun today, okay? Marjorie will be here soon, with Skye."

Andre lights up and raises his head. He nods, "Thanks, guys. I appreciate it."

He shifts his attention back towards our friends and trudges back to them.

My phone buzzes in my pocket. Without breaking my gaze with Lance, I take out my phone and read Marjorie's text.

"Marjorie's here," I shout to them.

"Tell her where we are, and to hurry up. I'm hungry," John holds up his wallet and points towards a concession building.

Andre's POV

I drop my head and adjust my blue Oakley hat. My head jerks up after my ear picks up the sound of a girl shouting at us.

Dazed, I squint my eyes into the distance to see who it was.

"Is that?.."

"Marjorie is here!" Tagu turns her attention to her and Skye walking towards us.

Skye's eyes meet mine. The feeling in my heart was soaring to the High Heavens. It feels like all the negative thoughts and feelings disappeared so suddenly.

My heartbeat quickens, and my body tenses up. It felt good; I didn't know if I could ever feel like this again. The feeling of rush and adrenaline when you're captivated by such an unusual, unique person, it was exhilarating. That's how it feels all the time when you 'like' someone new. They're so unique to you, so different, that they stand out to you and only you. Maybe other people are interested in the same person as you are, but, at first, it feels like you're in the race by yourself.

As for me, the journey feels like it's begun, like a life renewed. It's always so rejuvenating to find someone new, whether you're interested in them as a partner or a friend. Reminded of how it felt to be free, to pursue anyone I wished. I knew it was going to be temporary, but I tend to live in the moment when I'm not sulking. Of course, I was, but the rush blew everything negative I felt, I suppose.

"How do you feel? Still, regret coming?" Miguel extends his hand to pick me up.

I take it and pull myself up off the ground, "I'm nervous; I don't know if I can say anything to her."

"Just try to make most of your day, okay? You had a rough afternoon. You couldn't stop crying, even during your nap," Miguel smiles. "Go get that girl."

He heads towards the others, leaving me alone.

My face starts to feel hot. Slowly but surely, my feet move, but every step becomes slower than the last.

Her face came into my full view, and the world seemed to move slower every step I took.

I feel a droplet of sweat escape the side of my head, travelling down my face and falling to the ground. I notice Marjorie nudge Skye to approach me.

My surroundings were quiet, only the waves caused by the river gushing against the rocks. I notice the nearly finished sunset, signalling that the day was almost over, even if it was just the evening. The orange of the sun reflected off the water of the river. Looking at my surroundings distract me from my anxiety, my problems. Something to distract my deepest, darkest thoughts never come my way anymore, like life gave up on trying to be interesting. However, the river's hue wasn't so bad; it was beautiful. It was almost blinding, blindingly brilliant.

As I turn back around, she was there, "Hey, tiger." Skye greets me awkwardly, her blue eyes shimmering against the sun.

"Hey there," My voice shakes. My legs start to become weak, and I feel like my body would collapse at any moment.

We stare at each other for at least two minutes. I find myself exploring her dark-blue eyes. They were just like the sun's shine on the water, only bluer, and much more full of life. In the view of her face, I also notice her black lipstick, it was unique, and it drew me even closer to her.

There was one feature that struck me and utterly blew me away. Skye's shining, dark-red hair. It seemed so smooth and silky just as before. The radiance of her hair showed itself through the evening sun, slightly making her hair shimmer. I felt the urge to touch it but resisted the temptation.

The pain in my chest was still there. Even throughout all the distractions are still the agonizing thoughts that bounce around in my head. Even when staring at her, the voices began saying new things.

"How are you?" I move closer, scrutinizing her face, the words inside my head still swimming.

"I could be better. I..." She pauses and gulps. "Things happened yesterday and today. I just wish I had better days," Skye bites her lip anxiously, only to have her eyes shimmer more, almost watery.

There was a single tear escaping her eye. I take my finger up to her face and wipe it off, "Don't cry, please. I don't want to see you cry, especially someone as--"

I stop myself. Looking down, I begin to laugh.

"What's so funny?" She asks stuttering, a hint of worry in her voice.

I notice her looking down, bothered by my laughing.

Lifting her chin, I look into her eyes again, "I'm laughing because I've never seen a girl as charming as you."

"Oh, okay," Skye covered her mouth in an attempt to hide her wide smile, "You're very cheesy."

I chuckle at her comment, "Get used to it."

Her eyes fell again. I needed to be quick on my feet.

"Don't worry. I'm not going through the best parts of my life, either." I gently rub her shoulder. "We can get through this together."

The world, as cliché as this sounds, froze. It feels just like the first time we saw each other. Only this time, we were closer, my arm around Skye, and finally meeting.

"I hope your friends like me as much as you and Marjorie do," Skye rubs her arm anxiously, eyeing the pavement below.

Skye was wearing a baggy blue shirt, and the sleeves of the shirt had dark blue stripes. The shirt's collar drooped slightly at her left, so apart of her shoulder was showing. She was wearing black pants and white converses for shoes.

Her outfit was gorgeous, but I had an idea that would make it one hundred times more irresistible.

Her red hair flowed majestically with the slight breeze of wind.

Stopping in my tracks, I face her.

"Something wrong?" Skye stutters helplessly.

Rubbing my chin, I raise my head and take off my hat  
Staring at her, I place it on backward on the top of her head.

Her face perks up cheeks, swelling pink. "Wow," She whispers. 

I admire her for a moment, tilting my head, "My hat goes well with your outfit."

"Does it? Let me see," Skye pulls out her phone and examines herself through her front-facing camera.

I could see her cracking a smile, though she seemed to resist it at first. I assume she likes the new look.

"I love it, Andre," Skye's face lights up. I grab her hand gently. "This made my day."

"I'm glad you do. Let's go get dinner," I take out my wallet and count the money stored inside. "I'll pay for you."

Skye looks at me, concern in her voice, "How about I pay for you?"

"How about no?" I smirk and walk towards the group.

"How about I pay for myself, and you pay for yourself?" Skye suggests while tugging my arm.

"How about... let me think," I look up at the sky and raise my eyebrow. "No."

She flinches and stops in her tracks, "Wow, look." Skye steps towards the railings and places her hands onto the bar.

I follow her and find myself beside her, looking at the sunset. "I was just looking at this view earlier."

"Yeah, when you nearly bumped into me," Skye admits, taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," I hesitate while extending my arm around her shoulders. She doesn't move, and I feel her move closer into my body.

I think back to our first encounter at Midtown.

"I'm glad I saw you that day, it made me feel better," I nervously gulp and hold her tighter. "I thought you should know that."

"But we didn't talk, and when I decided to walk up to you," She tries her best to hold in her laugh. "You looked up at the ceiling. Our eyes were having a moment, and you decided to look up at the ceiling."

I hear myself internally screaming. What was I even thinking that day? Was I an idiot? It was as if the universe handed me a perfect situation on a silver platter, and ruin it.

I chuckle nervously to play it off cool, "Yeah. I don't know why I did that."

Scratching my head, I look down, embarrassed.

"It was cute, but I got shy again and went back to shopping for a bear," Skye tucks her hair behind her ear.

We both laugh out loud. I could tell we were easing up to each other, and the tension died down after the short walk to the railing.

"I was nervous! I didn't think I'd see anyone inside a teddy bear store, would I?" I quip. "There wasn't any warning. There isn't a life manual telling you how to approach cute redheads naturally."

"Oh, shut up," She giggles. 

I unknowingly wrap my arms around her tightly, it almost startles me on how quick I was to already act like this.

"Oh- Awwe. Thanks." Skye slyly leans into me.

My head nuzzled against her soft hair, and I pick up the faint scent of blueberry, "I'm sorry if this is too much. I think I'm just an overly friendly guy."

"I'm not one for hugs, but," she shifts awkwardly, then wraps her arms around my waist. "I'll let it pass. Feel special; I never do this for anybody."

I smile widely as her heart drums against my chest. After we leave each other's arms, it hurt to let go of that embrace.

Skye shuffles tensely, "I just want you to know; I may not be the easiest person to get along with."

"What do you mean?" I adjust her hat and crack a smile.

"I've had many people turn back on me, I'm just scared you might do the same," She says all too suddenly, looking towards the distance of the river. Her lips curl.

My arms wrap around her again. I close my eyes and pray that this moment lasts longer than before.

I glance at the sunset and put my arm back around her shoulders, "I won't do that, I can promise you that."

"We'll see," Skye sighs and moves closer again. "Promises are stupid. Half of the time, people can't even keep one they gave."

I shrug, "Well, then you haven't met me."

"I have."

"I meant before."

"We have before," She says. "About twenty minutes ago."

What a smartass... She's perfect.

We both stare at the sunset; it was safe to stare at directly. Of course, I tell myself that when I have glasses, but it wasn't blinding like before. 

There's a sense of peace when I'm with Skye. Like, I had nothing to worry about right now. I haven't felt like this in a long time, that feeling of being carefree, at peace.

She rests her head on my chest again, and I rest my chin on her head. Finally, the sun fully descends into the horizon, the lavender tint of the sky disappearing to let the stars shine brightly in the now night sky.

"Andre! Skye! Let's go eat!" I turn my head to see Marjorie and Tagu waving at us to come.

"Let's go," I look down at Skye. "You must be starving,

"I'm paying for myself though," She laughs and returns her glance.

I grin, "Fine, but next time, I'm paying for you."

"Fine, but after that, I'm paying for you," Skye takes my hand. "No arguing back."

I grit my teeth with a smirk, "Let's play a game," I suggest. "Whoever is the tallest out of you and me, has to pay."

Skye gasps, "You're rude!" A laugh blurts out of her when she hops onto a stone square. A medium-sized tree was sprouting in the middle. "I'm taller. No, take backs!"

What? She is wittier than ME! How could I get beat at my own game? The only known person to beat me at being an annoying bitch is Ashton, who has been busy all summer.

She hops off and drags me to head toward the concession stand. She lets go of my hand as we walk in front of the group.

I turn to face her.

"Ready to rock, Skye?" I playfully nudge her shoulder.

"I'm ready to eat dinner if that's what you meant," Skye replies, expressionless.

I chuckle, "If you put it like that, it has a less rebellious vibe to it."

She rolls her eyes at me. "Shush."

We take a seat next to our friends, and they all smile at us.

"I hope both of you feel better," Tagu takes a seat in front of us. "You know, since you finally get to meet each other."

Skye looks down, cautiously, "Thanks, I guess."

"Let's play a tiny game before eating!" Tagu suggests while cracking a devilish smile.

Nick dusts his shoulders and straightens his back, "What game then?"

"Truth or Truth," Tagu claps. "Pretty self-explanatory."

"You down, Skye?" Marjorie's eyes meet hers and nods.

"Oh.. sure, I guess I can play," Skye replies and finally looks up.

I could tell she was nervous. She must not be as accustomed to new people, especially a lot of them.

I smile, "Don't worry, we'll treat you right."

Her red hair, still shining in the starry night, flows slightly to the left as a gust of warm wind picks up. "Alright."

"I'll ask first," I clear my throat. "Nicholas, grossest thing eaten?"

We filled the night with laughter and happiness. Endless teasing, endless laughs. Even Skye laughed at times, though, she laughed with minimal effort.

I get up from the table, "Can we eat dinner now? You guys said we would eat half an hour ago."

They all nod, including Skye, and one by one, everyone gets up. I feel someone tapping my shoulder.

"Yes, Marjorie?"

"You two seem to be getting along well," Marjorie giggles and teasingly points at me.

"It seems to be working out great," I beam and look back at where Skye is.

"You thinking about asking her out yet?" Marjorie shakes me and laughs loudly.

"What the fuck?" I snicker. "So soon, Marjorie. I've learned a thing or two about patience."

Marjorie shrugs and bites her lip. "It's okay to get a little ahead of yourself."

"I don't know. I want to take things slow. I'm still," I pause and take a deep breath. "Shaken up."

She frowns, "Don't worry. You know Skye is in a bad place right now too. You two can always pick each other up, and we can too."

I glance at Skye ordering food, "I really hope you're right."

"I know I am, Andre." Marjorie sighs, hands at her hips. "The way you two look at each other is already a dead giveaway; you have some feelings for one another." 

Marjorie walks with me into the lineup of people.

"We only met today. I want to get to know her." I rest my elbow on Marjorie's shoulder. "Sure, we might get a Lil' flirty, but that's part of the process."

I immediately think of her family. It is an unwritten rule for me that gaining her family's respect is essential to have a long-lasting, healthy relationship. You must always be honest to someone's parents.

Marjorie mocks me, a snotty, low voice echoing out of her, "Part of the process." She repeats. "Loosen up a little, would you?"

I shake my head, "I am! I'm just thinking long-term. I rarely ever think long-term."

"Loosen up, boy," Marjorie scoffs. "What are you thinking 'long-term' anyway?"

"Her family," I admit. "My past relationships, I always get the family's respect. That's important."

Marjorie turned pale, which made me worried, "Is there something wrong?"

"Andre, there's something I need to tell you. You cannot tell anyone. You got that?"

My heart drops, "Okay."

"Skye is living with me now. Her parents..." She hesitates. "Kicked her out. They've been emotionally abusing her since she was a kid, maybe they've done even more."

My heart shatters into a million pieces. I feel tears welling up in my eyes as she tells me Skye's whole story. From her family to her horrible old friends. That poor thing.

"Don't tell her I told you," Marjorie holds onto my hand.

"I- I won't. That was a lot to take in," I wipe my eyes before any tears can escape.

She lets go, "Thanks. She'll tell us when she's ready."

"I wish I could save her, you know," I stare at Marjorie blankly. "She's in a much worse condition than me."

I shake my head and order food even though I've lost my appetite.

"We can all help her, Andre," Marjorie comfortingly drags me towards the table. "We can save her together."


	10. Escape

Nick's POV

The night drags on longer and longer while we all eat our dinner. Andre, John, and Marjorie all bought a side of Poutine with a cheeseburger, while the rest of us got chicken strips and fries.

In the corner of my eye, I see Skye eating her food incredibly slow and dejected.

"Something wrong, Skye?" I take a bite out of a chicken strip hastily.

Skye's eyes focus their attention on me, looking away quickly after.

"No. I'm just not that hungry."

I raise my eyebrow at her and continue to eat my meal casually. "Ketchup? Will ketchup make you eat?"

Skye rolls her eyes. It wasn't in a rude manner; she probably didn't want to be bothered about eating; I suppose.

"I'll have some, yeah," She sighs as I pass her the packets of ketchup.

The sound of glass bottles and cans clinking together behind me rings in my ear like symbols. I turn around and see Julianna, with eyes beaming as she triumphantly held up alcohol.

"Andre's house later, guys! We drinkin' all night!" Julianna dances happily while holding the bottles and cans up high.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Andre tried to cover up the bottles and cans with his hands. "My house? Are you crazy?"

Everyone erupts into smirks and giggles as Andre tries to cover up the evidence of Julianna's alcohol stash.

"Julianna!" He screams. "There are officers down by the spray park patrolling the park! Put them away!"

Eventually, she does put them back into her bag, a glare sharpening the gaze between Julianna and Andre.

"Fine," She leans on Lance's shoulder, giving him a gentle kiss on his cheek.

Andre raises his eyebrows.

"When did this happen?" He asks bluntly, a surprised expression planted on his face.

Lance and Julianna give each other a mischievous look.

"Recently." They say in unison.

Andre nods in disbelief before turning to Skye.

"So," He gestures at Skye. "When are you planning on going home?"

Skye looks up at him dreamily, unbeknownst to her.

"As soon as Marjorie goes home," Skye stutters, gulping subtly. "She's my ride."

Andre holds up two fingers, poking her forehead. "You look nervous. She already took you here; she won't kill you on the way home." He smiles sweetly at her, and Skye's lips slowly form a smile, too, despite herself.

"Can you two quit being lovey-dovey? There are already four other people being all flirty," I scoff. "Marjorie, Miguel and I are feeling left out and incompetent."

Miguel chuckles, putting a hand on his belly, and burping.

"Excuse me," He pardons. "Left out? I haven't been feeling left out."

I remember the day we went to Seoul when Miguel ran out of the restaurant to snag a girl's number.

I haven't been in a relationship for a while, maybe after grade 10 was when I broke up with my last girlfriend, and the rest have just been meaningless infatuations and half-assed booty calls. The previous two years have been stale with uninteresting girls, to me anyway. I probably didn't see much in the two or three flings I had between the years, and this makes me think if I should get back in the game.

Marjorie taps my shoulder, a soft gaze staring back at me.

"It's alright," She says with a smile. "You and I will find someone, don't worry."

She points behind me, "You see those two? Yeah, we'll find something like what they have right now."

Andre and Skye broke both their gazes, looking away from each other. Both with bright red faces and dreamy expressions.

"Everyone's finished already?" Andre gets up from the table, shaking his head to shake off the smile glued on his face. "Anyone?"

"I guess so, where's the garbage can?" Skye asks, also rising from the table.

"Over there," Lance points at a lamppost behind him, next to the grass leading up to the main roads.

The table is piled high with containers of Gravy and paper bowls from all the food we ate. And our soda cans and bottles of water. It seems like it would take a while to clean up everything.

"I can take this," Andre and Skye both said in unison.

A competitive look strikes in between their glances. Their eyes, like daggers piercing one another, until the other gave up and submitted.

"Skye, sit down. I can throw everyone's trash away," Andre smiles, deceivingly, picking up the trash in front of him.

"How about you sit down, and I take the garbage out," Skye gathers everyone's plates, bowls, and cups.

Andre twitches and quickens the pace of gathering all the table's trash. He bites his lip and scans the table for more items he can pick up.

"Andre!" Skye snarls, taking the scraps from Andre's pile and scurries away to the garbage can.

She had two trays piled up with our junk. She was literally quick on her feet, outrunning Andre even with two trays in her arms.

"Fucking, fast as fuck," Andre sits down, "Damn, I usually throw stuff away for you guys. If I weren't so full, I would've caught up."

"Yup," John smirks. "Sure."

"Shut up."

"Be grateful, we would have thrown it away ourselves, but you two are just so cute," Marjorie teases and snicker, Andre glaring at her quickly.

Skye returns, dusting herself off and takes a seat next to Andre.

"You can't out-generous me."

"It isn't a competition," Andre laughs. "And that isn't even a word!"

Julianna coughs to gain our attention.

"If you guys forgot already, I have _totally_ legal alcohol at my disposal."

Andre looks somberly at Julianna.

"... And I say we go to Andre's house to have a good time!"

His face becomes pale, and he shakes his head, bitterly, "No can do, guys. My parents are coming home any minute."

Everyone snarls at Andre, including Skye.

"Well, that sucks." She mutters suddenly. "Was hoping to extend the night."

"I'm sorry to disappoint," Andre pauses and smirks. "But, since I'm no party-pooper, we can drink in the backyard _until my parents come home._ Once my brother gives the signal, you guys skedaddle to the field behind my house."

I slam my hands on the desk and bolt up, "YES, DADDY!"

Andre erupts in laughter, "No one says 'yes daddy' unless it's me!"

Miguel giggles mischievously, "You only changed your mind for Skye."

"Excuse you! I did not!"

Skye hits him gently on his back, walking past him.

"Get over yourself," She taunts, getting up and trudging towards the trees. "Don't be late to your own house, pick up the pace."

Andre's POV

I see Skye as she takes a seat against a tree in the grass, stretching. Her hair was visible in the dark, many light sources reflecting off of it caused a particular orange, copper hue to radiate from her.

"You look stunning," I stride up smoothly, before taking her hand. "You sure you want to come? You don't look like a drinker."

Skye blushes at my compliment. She coughs.

"You have no idea." She lets out a nervous chuckle. "I don't get out much, but my brother usually throws big parties, so I've had my fair share of sneaking some drinks in my room."

"You have a brother?" I ask.

Before she could answer, Lance taps our shoulders, "You two can ride with Marjorie, right?"

We both nod, then make our way to Marjorie's car. As soon as we arrived, I generously opened the door for Skye.

"Thanks," Skye's face remains neutral as she enters the passenger seat.

I squeeze into the back seat behind Marjorie and buckle my seat belt.

"Marjorie, I don't feel safe in this car with you driving."

Marjorie simpers then jut the steering wheel sharply.

A scream escapes my mouth, "Excuse me!"

Both Marjorie and Skye cry out in laughter, "You should have seen your face!" Marjorie sneers and gives Skye a high five.

I roll my eyes, "I'll get you two back someday."

"Sure, you will! Knowing you, your pranks either fail because it's obvious or, you admit that it's a prank because you hate lying," Marjorie makes a right turn at an intersection.

Skye turns back to face me, "That's cute."

"What is?" My face blooms in bright red.

"The way you can't go through with a prank cause' you're too afraid to lie," Skye shoots me an effortless smile before turning back around to face the road.

The car becomes silent for a moment when suddenly Marjorie parks in front of a house in between two buildings. Confused, I step out of the car with the two girls.

I look around my surroundings and notice that this area of Saskatoon was unrecognizable, "Uh, where are we? It's night-time, we're going to get jumped."

"Shh!" Skye shushes me, subtly pointing at two people walking by and turning the corner of an unknown building. "Stay quiet for a second, would you?"

"It's my cousin's house, don't worry. I'm just getting a few more drinks," Marjorie rings the doorbell, and someone immediately swung the door open.

It turns out, Marjorie texted her cousin to convince them to give her more alcohol for the mini party we would have at my house.

"Who is- Oh! Marjorie! Come in!" Her cousin gestures for Marjorie to come in.

"No can do, just stopping by to pick up the Palm Bay and Smirnoff you promised me," Marjorie whistles while her cousin disappears in their house.

Seconds go by, and they finally emerge in front of the doorway again, "Don't let anyone find out I gave this to you! And don't drink and drive!"

Marjorie rolls her eyes, "I got it, do you think I'm stupid?" She lets out a small giggle.

We wave good-bye, and I open the door for Skye once again.

"Round Two?"

She hops in "Round two!" She tilts her head at me.

I melt instantly. The way she tilted her head was.. cute. Everything about her was like a puzzle; at first glance, you could never figure her out or read her easily.

That goes for anyone. It's one of the reasons why meeting new people is great. They're like puzzles. You find out about them over time, you empathize with them and their personality and start to understand them. I knew precisely that with Skye, we all would learn more things about her than what met the eye, I was excited especially.

I laugh awkwardly and retake my seat behind Marjorie.

"Hometime!" I scream, kicking Marjorie's seat annoyingly.

Marjorie throws an empty water bottle at me with force, "STOP."

I groan, placing my feet back down onto the car floor. I jokingly cross my arms and pout like a little kid. Marjorie glares at me then rolls her eyes obnoxiously.

Anxiously, I lean forward over her shoulder before she began driving again. "Did you start?"

"Andre, calm down and sit your ass down," Marjorie sighs and grits her teeth.

"I hope you guys have plans to sleep over at John's. There's no way I'm letting you guys drive after drinking," I tap Marjorie's shoulder and stare at her cheek.

"Yeah, John's parents wouldn't mind. Let's hope they don't tell your parents what we were doing and where we were," Marjorie chuckles and jostles my cheek.

I gulp, grinning mischievously "If you put it like that, maybe I'll kick you all out when we get there."

"Okay! We'll try not to make it obvious we were there!" Marjorie gives me puppy-eyes before turning around at me at a stoplight.

"I'm joking! Just clean up after, please. If we can still function, that is," I pat Marjorie's shoulder compassionately.

"Yay!" She cheers as she high fives Skye once again.

The drive home was relatively quick as there was no traffic at 10:00 PM. We arrive at my house and notice no cars parked in front.

"Huh? Where's Lance's car?" Marjorie scratches her head in confusion.

"Marjorie, Lance probably parked in front, or by John's Crescent," I point in the direction of John's house. "If my parents were to come home and your cars were in front of my house, my parents would know Y'all are here."

"You right," Marjorie makes a u-turn towards the road leading to John's house.

She puts the car into park behind Lance's car and steps out of the vehicle. I hear the car lock as we make the short walk back to my house. Marjorie reaches for the box of Palm Bay and sees Skye take it instead.

"Skye? Aren't you tired from being out all day? Let me," Marjorie pleadingly tries to take the box away from her hands.

"No can do, Missy. It's the least I can do for you since you let me, you know," Skye forces the box from Marjorie's hands, eyes passing me briefly.

Marjorie submits and starts to walk in my direction. Skye hefts the box of Palm Bay in her arms with a grunt. I look on remorsefully at her, struggling to carry the heavy box. I remember what Marjorie confessed to me about Skye during our hang-out at Riverlanding.

As I look on in sorrow, my body shifts, moving toward Skye involuntarily, cutting her off at the corner of the sidewalk and placing my hands on the boxes sides.

"Y-Yes?" Skye huffs and puffs while her arms shake.

Without question, I take the box out of her hands and start to carry it the rest of the way.

"Don't push yourself. From what you told me, you've had a rough day." I turn around and give her sad eyes. "Relax."

"Thanks.."

We make our way to the gate of the backyard, "Enter. Password. Please."

"Jolo, open the door, PLEASE. My arms are killing me," I answer pleadingly and lightly tap the fence with my foot.

"Oh! You brought more booze," John opens the gate and smiles at the three of us before letting us enter into the backyard. "Skye and Marjorie can enter, no Andre's allowed."

"Are you dumb, I live here!"

John snickers, "Eee eer eee err."

I roll my eyes and push past the gate and pass the box of Palm Bay to John.

"Did you tell Adrian about the plan?" I ask him, balancing my breathing.

"Yeah, I did. He's down, but he says you have to buy him something tomorrow," John skips ahead and turns back at me.

"That's if I can get up tomorrow. I'm drinking my heart out tonight," I give everyone a quick wave before collapsing into the grass.

Miguel laughs, "I like how you said you're planning to drink your heart out. Weren't you the one that almost disagreed with letting us drink here?"

"Hey, shut up." I laugh along and finally stand up.

The backyard was decently sized, with a deck that was raised to the back door significantly. If we hadn't decided to get the deck built, anyone who would walk through the back door would plummet down to the ground from such a great height.

Julianna had placed the drinks she brought onto a brown picnic table we owned. My friends must have moved the table from the upper floors of the deck onto the grassy area of the yard.

Other than that, it was a pretty ordinary backyard. Some small weeds were protruding out of the ground where we stood. I even had a vegetable patch and a tiny apple tree that was not yet fully grown. Behind the fence of the backyard led to a giant field. There would occasionally be a person walking their dog back there.

While dusting myself off, I feel a light tug on my sweater.

"Yes, Skye?"

"Thanks for, you know, cheering me up a lot today," She pauses, then looks into my eyes sincerely. "And just being a great person towards me. You all have been the nicest people to me, the nicest I've ever met."

I bring her into a hug. She stiffens up at her arms and chest but lets the tension drop before bringing her arms around me.

"Don't mention it," I push her away gently, holding her shoulders. "We all have each other's backs, and now, we have yours."

Skye simply smiles, bringing me back into the embrace so suddenly.

My heart flutters when I can feel her heartbeat against my chest. I tighten the hug and painfully let her go when I feel her start to push away.

"Wow." I lean against the deck in my backyard, bewildered.

"At this rate, if we hug again, I won't be able to let you go," Skye leans her head on my shoulder, she suddenly looks up at me. "Sorry. I'm not good at this 'flirting' thing you guys talked about."

I giggle and cover my mouth, pushing up my glasses, "As awkward as you are, you're smooth. Oh! And cute."

She blushes, "I know we just met today but, I hope, you know.. We-" Skye's eyes widen, and points sharply behind me. "Andre! Look out!"

My head jerks behind me, where she was pointing, and I see a can of Palm Bay hurling towards me.

Fortunately, my hands react quick enough and catch the can, which was now inches away from my face from where I grabbed it.

"What the fuck?" I look to where which direction the can was thrown from, and I see John and Nick laughing with Tagu.

"Oh, my God! We're so sorry! We thought you heard us yelling for you to catch it," Tagu falls in the grass and continues to laugh.

I give them a horrified look, "You could have given me a _caucasian."_ I quip and start to laugh with them.

"You and Skye were busy gazing into each other's eyes again. Good thing she saw it coming before it hit you," Nick runs over to me and rubs my shoulder apologetically.

I sigh heavily, "Scream louder next time, or else you're gonna have to pay for my hospital bills."

Nick furrows his eyebrow, "We live in Canada... no hospital bills."

"I know."

"Why would you even-"

"SHUT UP."

Julianna whistles loudly and clings onto a bottle with a stick. We all turn to look t her.

"Everyone! Raise your cans or bottles! I wanna make a toast!" Julianna hoists her bottle in the air. "If you don't have a drink, come here and get one! The toast is gonna be special."

Tagu, Skye, and Miguel rush to the table to grab a bottle or can. Skye rushes back next to me and adjusts her hat before cracking open a bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade.

"I want to thank you all. You know, for being with me and each other over the past five to six years, even when we did split up for a bit, our connection was still there. It means a lot when I say, I'm thankful we all decided to hop onto Skype that one, winter afternoon on Saturday." Julianna clears her throat and keeps her bottle elevated. "If Miguel hadn't decided to add us to the group call with Lance, Andre and, John that day, maybe things right now would be different."

We all glance at each other and smile sincerely.

"If history had gone a little different, maybe we all wouldn't be here today. The drinks, the birthday parties, the timeless hangouts, and the long ten-hour calls we sometimes still pull off on the weekends and summer days." Julianna continues, "And let's also give a warm welcome to the two new recent additions to our family! Skye and Nick! We're glad you decided to hang out with a bunch of weirdos like us."

Despite Skye's perplexed look and awkward smiling, she, along with Nick, gives us a nod and smiles from ear to ear.

All of us cheer loudly, the echoes roaring throughout the night.

"I love you guys!" I scream, and we all gather up to hug in the middle, with Nick and Skye watching behind us.

"Get in here, you two! You're part of us now," Lance gestures for Skye and Nick to come.

Nick jumps in, and Skye hesitates, before smiling and shaking her head.

"Ah, what the hell," Skye scratches her head, awkwardly putting her elbows at her side and wrapping as far as her tiny arms could go. "You guys should feel special. I'm breaking my rules for all of you."

We nearly tip over. I catch Skye from falling and pull her up.

"I got you," I let go of her wrist when she steadies herself.

Skye stutters while trying to keep balance, snapping her wrist back and rubbing around it.

"Thank you again."

Smiling, I catch everyone's attention, "Cheers, guys! Drink up!"

We all gather in a circle and clink our bottles and cans together. I finally take that satisfying sip of Palm Bay and feel the icy cold fizzy feeling hit the roof of my tongue.


	11. We Are Young

Skye's POV

I take a swig of the Mike's Hard Lemonade in my hand and grin when seeing Andre and Marjorie jumping up happily with each other. 

Lightweights, they get drunk so easy.

The whole night, memories of my family came back time and time again, the worst possible ones. Honestly, they were lingering in my mind since we were at Riverlanding. I just chose to ignore them, the memories I created with this random group of people I barely knew and trusted, were strangely fonder. I hadn't felt that feeling called happiness since I was eight. Up until this point in my life, I'd never been entirely happy with myself and my life, no matter how hard I tried to please my parents. They always pushed me down.

Sadly enough, I'm going back to that house in a week. I already know what's going to happen. Nothing is going to change; I'm still going to be treated like absolute shit.

Even though this is my first time hanging out with new people, it felt like this was a new life, a fresh start for me. I'm still quite hesitant with these people. The thought of returning home made me cringe, but I knew I'd have plenty of time to get to know everyone, even after my week of being homeless.

I'm not an open person by any means, but I won't waste the opportunity to meet new people and at least make some friends. Just as long as they don't find out about my life at home, then a repeat won't happen again.

The sound of fingers snapping in front of me bring me back out of my thoughts.

"Are you okay there?" John takes a sip of his can. "You looked like you were in the fathom of life's meaning."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answered dryly, taking another sip of my drink. "Big words for someone who says 'ee eer ee eer.'" 

"Ay, that's the language of the Gods," He shook his head and adjusted his glasses. "Mortals can't comprehend what it means or what we're saying, that's why it sounds like that,"

I roll my eyes; this guy is trying too hard to be funny — what a mean thought.

"Oh, yeah? Then tell me what I said."

"Huh?"

"Tell me what I said."

John rubs his temples and looks as if he's meditating, or constipated. One of the two.

"You said," He makes an explosion with his hands, widening his eyes after making the sound. "There is something wrong."

"Wrong," I sigh, swinging my foot around in the grass.

"Nope, I don't believe you," John counters, insisting something was going on with me.

He wasn't wrong, that's the thing. How the hell does he know?

"How are you so certain?" I gently take the hat Andre gave me off my head.

"If there's one thing Andre and an old friend taught me, it's that you can figure out if there's something wrong with someone through their eyes," He squints jokingly while looking into my eyes.

I giggle, despite myself.

"Okay, I'll give you this much. I'm just tired."

John holds up two fingers and curls them.

"Tired," He mutters skeptically, narrowing his eyebrows. "They also taught me how to identify the smell of bullshit."

I roll my eyes and scoff, stifling a laugh, "Yes, tired."

Pulling out his phone, he reads the time and his eyebrow furrows.

"Hmm, maybe you're not lying," John says, rubbing his chin with the edges of his can, "It's past midnight."

"Yeah. Thanks for telling me," I take a deep breath. "And thanks for checking up on me, I guess?"

"Don't mention it."

We had a bit of small talk after, nothing too special. We start asking what schools we attend, how our grades were by the end of the year. You know, that kind of stuff. Smart people stuff, though this guy acts like he isn't someone that's into doing schoolwork at all.

John smiles, "Yeah, I leave my work till the last second and still get 90s."

"What the fuck, how?"

He shrugs, a cocky grin on his face, "I teach myself the source material and ask my friends for homework and how do it properly. I don't mooch off of people."

"Don't they get annoyed after a while of asking?"

I was annoyed by my brother and old acquaintances, continually forcing me to do his homework. I also had to pile that up with my homework. It did, however, help me. I decided that learning his subjects earlier than I would learn them would give me an advantage in the future. I'd basically be relearning different subjects.

John laughs and slaps the wood of the deck.

"Hell, yeah they did," He smirks. "The teachers did, too. Luckily, the teachers I had didn't deduct marks for being late. And it still benefited my friends; they find mistakes they pass over when we work on shit together, so, in a way, they learn more and improve."

I nod, trying to comprehend in my head if that's what real friends are like. Learning and helping each other, but he must have had trust in them, too. To just keep asking for homework. Maybe he was speaking the language of the gods.

He parts ways with me and soon enough, I find myself aimlessly wandering off around the yard. I notice two moths chasing each other around. One lands on my hand and moves around my palm, almost as lost as I was, before flying away. I shrug it off and skip along the edges of grass against the fence.

An overwhelming calmness dawns upon me, as I glance at the sky above me. The night sky had with many stars, twinkling individually and spanning across where the eye could see. My eyes twinkle at the spectacle. Luckily, the only light was coming from the weak lamps on Andre's porch, so no other sources drowned out the natural light above. I become hypnotized by the endless amount of shining bright lights in the sky.

I take a sip out of my bottle and step on something slanted and curved. A piece of wood was lying down on the ground in front of me. An idea flickers into my head.

Walking over to Marjorie, I hand her the piece of wood. She stared at it, confused.

"Before you get all kinds of wasted, let's make a bonfire," I explain while grabbing hold of her drink. "We can't just depend on those weak-ass lamps to light up the backyard, and the stars won't do us good, neither."

I gesture at the lamps, some were flickering, and others were just malfunctioning and shutting off on their own.

"That's a good idea!" Marjorie leaps and grabs the wood out of my hands. "Great thinking Skye."

I nod, "Yup."

Marjorie calls for everyone to find safe, flammable items to ignite inside the fire pit. Everyone begins to finds pieces of scrap paper, sticks, newspapers, and anything safe to light on fire. Once gathered all the necessary flammable material, they placed them into the firepit.

Lance passes me a match and a lighter.

He chuckles nervously, "You seem like an arsonist. Light the fire."

I shoot him a striking glare.

"Are you saying that because I have red hair? Or because I'm goth?"

Lance steps back.

"What? I don't generalize people by their physical attributes." Lance says, narrowing his eyes at me. "In plus, even if I did, you don't look goth right now. Aside from your lipstick."

"Oh!" I bite my lip slightly embarrassed. "Sorry, it's the drink talking."

"Speaking of your lipstick, I gotta say," Lance picks at neck. "It looks good on you. Don't stop wearing that."

"I won't stop, don't look so worried," I shake my head. "Why'd you think I was an arsonist, anyway?"

"I don't know. I just assumed," Lance replies, shrugging.

"Why assume that on me?" I smile softly while leaning against the fence. "Anyone here could secretly be an arsonist."

Lance purses his lips and huffs, "If anything, Tagu is a person I'd suspect to be one."

I laugh softly, "I could see that."

"You were so quiet earlier; I couldn't possibly know anything about you. We did just meet after all." He squints at me, "All you did was pick at your food, flirt with my cousin, and only talk when playing truth or truth."

I sigh, feeling my face heating up."You got me. I'll light it up," I begrudgingly push off the fence.

Lance smiles, "Thanks, Skye."

"Don't mention it. You guys gave me the most fun I've had in a while." 

Grinning, I take one match and set lighter down on the table. Lance nods, smiling back at me and saunters off.

"Heads up!" A voice shouts as I see a plastic bottle hurling towards Marjorie.

Tagu laughs as she points at Marjorie's stone-cold expression.

Marjorie catches the bottle of lighter fluid and screams, "Are you stupid? If this spilt, we all would've been toast!"

"I see what you did there," Nick smirks, then fist bumps Marjorie.

"Was it punny?" Marjorie gives us all a subtle yet obnoxious wink.

"You're overdoing it," John shakes his head, but smiles. "Leave the jokes to Smiley and me over there."

Andre let out a fake laugh as he walked up to John.

"Hardy har very funny, Jolo."

Marjorie sadly passes me the bottle of lighter fluid. I pile the wood, and other scraps we found into a circular heap. I squirt the liquid onto the pile generously and make sure I didn't spurt any onto the dark green grass.

Andre and John continued to banter among themselves to see who had the best jokes - or worst, depending on whose side you take.

"Will you two children quit arguing?" I shout while using my foot to push the rest of the material in. "Or else I'll light both of you on fire."

They quieted down as I took my foot out of the pit. To my relief, the pure white converses I was wearing didn't get smeared by any black ash that resided on the side of the edges of the firepit. 

I take a single breath, backing up to keep my distance. I brush the tip of a match onto the side of the box, lighting it on fire. Carefully, I toss it into the pile of gas-drenched flammables.

The moment the match lands into the firepit, it ignites in a slurry of warm colours. The colours of red and orange swirl well above the black cage

Catching sight of Marjorie, she runs towards me.

"My drink, please!" Marjorie scrunches her hands repeatedly.

I pass her the drink and reluctantly smile at her, trying to be as sincere as I could.

"Thanks for inviting me to chill with you guys," I say, sounding deadpan.

I felt her arms wrap around me to my dismay. I tense up but ultimately decide to bring my arms around. It was a warm, thoughtful hug. After all the years of barely feeling another human being affectionate towards me, this surprisingly felt good, unnatural even. 

It was uncomfortable at first but, I decided to tighten it, and pat her back appreciatively. It felt good to feel some type of closeness after a long time. The last time I felt something like this was when my aunt would come. She'd always be thorough and hugged me every chance she had. She hardly visits anymore, though. 

"Of course! You're officially apart of our lil' group now," Marjorie lets me escape her arms.

I like the sound of that, being apart of something worthwhile and meaningful. It feels surreal. Never in my life have I ever thought that I'd feel this type of companionship anymore.

Looking over to my right, my heart flutters when I notice Andre staring at me. He flashes me a crooked smile, and I begin to think he didn't want me to catch him watching me.

"Good thinking, Skye," I glance behind my shoulder, then see John raising his can. "I almost forgot Andre had a bonfire pit."

I smile and hoist my half-empty bottle of Mike's Hard. The cracking of the fire was amidst the sound of voices and conversation, which gave it a homey, warm feeling during the cold, summer night.

Minutes pass. I've already finished my second bottle and walked up to the table to get another.

"Hey, Skye!" Julianna nods at me as she hands me another bottle. "Unless you don't want anymore."

"I'll have it, thanks." 

I pop the bottle cap open with my hands and take a long, smooth, gulp of the drink.

Julianna shifts and taps my shoulder, "Chill out. You're gonna get drunk like those guys over there." 

I take a gander over my shoulder to where she was pointing. There, Andre, Marjorie, and Tagu were swaying back and forth together.

"I love you both sooooo much," Andre's speech is slurred beyond recognition. 

"I love you guys more!" Marjorie says, falling into the grass. 

"Are they gonna be okay?" I look on in concern, but my heart warms when Tagu catches my eye and grins drunkenly.

"They should be. They'll still be sober enough to clean up and run before Andre's parents come home," Julianna chuckles.

I take a seat next to Julianna and ask dryly, "So, how long have you guys been friends?"

She thinks for a moment, "Almost six years. We grew distant in high school, but when something happened, we all banded together again. It was kind of fitting."

"That's a long time."

"You're not much of a talker, huh?" Julianna leans back in her chair, taking another sip of her Palm Bay. "Or are you just nervous?"

I shake my head, "No."

"No, to what?" She looks at me, confused.

"No to being nervous. I don't like talking in general," I sigh deeply, mimicking Julianna when I take a sip of my drink. "But, with you guys, it feels different. We'll have to wait and see."

My body stiffens when I feel a hand patting the top of my head. I raise my head and notice Andre towering above me, and my body relaxes.

"Oh, it's you."

"Heyyyy Skyeee," Andre's words were garbled. He admittedly sounded kind of cute.

"Uh, hi?" I turn my chair to face him. "You having fun, bud?"

"Yeah, I am!" Andre cheers and spills a bit of liquid on himself. "Oopsies."

Letting out a laugh, I stand up and poke at his cheeks awkwardly. Julianna smirks.

"What's so funny?" My head turns to look at her.

"You seem so introverted and timid with the rest of us, but with Andre, you seem so comfortable," She leans in and winks at me. "It's only the first day you met, and you've already been so touchy-flirty."

"I- er- I'm drunk," I could feel my stomach somersault when that half-assed excuse escaped my mouth.

"You don't seem drunk? And both of you were pretty close during our time at Riverlanding earlier," Julianna stands up and pats my shoulder jokingly.

"I don't know," I plead with her as my lips purse. "Don't interrogate me, please.

Julianna raises her, eyebrow, "Okay. Just don't lead him on, please. He's been through a lot." She starts towards Lance and glances back to wave at us.

I turn back to face Andre, who was already walking back towards me.

"Hello, sir," I greet him blankly.

He looks at me, dreamily, "You're just sooo pretty, Bub!" He pokes my forehead and giggles.

That warm feeling in my body erupts; it feels like it was about to burst out of the top of my head.

I stutter nervously, "Thanks?"

"He's completely genuine when he's like this, don't worry," Miguel wraps his arm around Andre's shoulder and takes him to the steps of the deck to sit down.

As the night drags on, I start to feel tipsier. Walking around Andre's backyard made me forget about all my problems, it numbed my mind in all ways good. Just hearing the laughter and screaming from his friends made me feel at home, even if I hardly knew how a real home felt like. I examine the vegetable patch he had parallel to the fence. 

"Eyes off the ground, Skye!" Miguel catches me as I'm about to fall. 

What the fuck? I didn't even notice I was falling. How much time has passed?

"Woah!" I stabilize my feet but shuffle a bit before finding balance. "Thanks. I guess I had lots to drink."

He laughs and beckons at the table where I was sitting, "You did have a lot, maybe too much."

My eyes grow wide, "Two... Four. Six- Holy shit! I went through that much in two hours?"

Yes, two hours. I think.

We stare at the number of bottles I drank, and my eyes shoot down to see that I'm holding one more.

"Seven," Miguel adds slyly.

I scoff, and puff my cheeks, "Okay, enough about my supposed drinking problem."

"Hm? What drinking problem?" Miguel moves closer to me.

Glancing up, I mutter shyly, "I just baited myself, didn't I?"

"Yup! And now I know you have an illegal drinking problem!" Miguel mockingly points at me.

A smile forces itself out from me, which I try to hide with my hand, "Oh, shush you." 

"Wow, it's the first time you smiled at me today," He pauses. "Yeah, today! It's two in the morning, so you didn't smile at me yesterday at all."

"Bad joke." 

I cringe and feel my nose wrinkle. Even so, I feel the urge to smile even if it was an awful joke.

"Aight, I'm done," Andre mutters, then plops down into the grass with Nick. They sit down next to my legs.

"Still drunk?" I kneel beside the two boys and feel a head rush as my knee hit the ground.

"Yeah, but I think I've calmed down," Andre looks up at the sky, gazing at the starry night. His eyes sparkle as he glances back at me.

I wave and grin at him. I raised my eyes up to the night sky as well.

"Enjoying the stars as much as I am?"

Andre smirks mischievously, and at the same time, we both let our eyes meet one another's. His eyes remain shimmering. Now, I don't know if this was all in my head, but I'm pretty sure Andre's eyes were stars. Two distinct stars glimmering back at me. I thought it was impossible for a person's eyes to shine as bright as his; those dark brown eyes would be the death of me.

"The only star I've seen tonight is sitting right next to me," Andre sticks out his tongue and gives me a goofy grin.

"Har-har, cheesy pick-up line," I roll my eyes and lean against him. I take the final sip of my bottle and toss it aside.

"Awwwe Andre, thanks," Nick leans against Andre's shoulder as well.

"No! That wasn't directed at you!" 

We all giggle together and notice that the rest of them were cleaning up rushingly.

Andre wraps his arm around me, "I mean, if I look at the sky, I'm looking at you anyway. That's your name, ain't it?"

My eyes wander in his for a moment.

"Not really, nope..."

"Huh?"

"My name is Skye, but it's spelt with an e. Skye with an e," I flash a tiny grin.

Andre chuckles quietly.

"Okay, Skye-with-an-e."

"Oh, God, don't call me that."

"Sorry, but," Andre stands up and pokes my forehead, then painfully starts to walk away. "You signed yourself up with a good nickname. 

I roll my eyes and shake my head disapprovingly.

"Bad nickname you mean," I rub my forehead and feel myself start to laugh loudly. "I can't believe I baited myself twice today."

Andre tilts his head in confusion.

"Twice?"

I bob my head slowly, "You got that right."

Andre quickly makes his way back towards me, then pats my back comfortingly.

"Welp, I'm gonna help them clean up," He stands up, nearly falling over if it wasn't for me pressing a hand on his back. "Thanks."

He walks over to the others trying not to fall.

Nick stares at his phone, then gets up, "Guys! My friend is here to pick me up! Does anyone need a ride?"

Everyone shakes their heads. They all turn to me.

Nick points at me with narrowed eyebrows.

"Skye? Ride?"

Oh, shit.

"Nope. I'm good."

Nick makes his way to the gate, then glances over his shoulder to look at us.

"Don't get caught, you guys! Thanks for having me again!"

"Bye, Nick!" Marjorie waves her arms back and forth enthusiastically.

He shoots her a wink and leaves the yard. I stand up and immediately fall over, a wave of intense pain crashing on my forehead.

"Ow!" I yelp in pain, still managing to sound dryer than sandpaper.

Rubbing my head, I finally come to my feet and cheer. The tipsiness took over my mind, and I began to cheer louder.

"Yes! I stood up!" 

I start to jump up and down rapidly. My heart races and feel the sense of thrill overcome me.

"Skye!"

The rest of whoever's sentence that was cut off abruptly. I chose to ignore them, still wanting to jump at the fact I got up after a dizzying fall.

Just then, I hear someone yell, "Skye! You're above the-"

I ignore them again, the jumping starts to feel like flying, and flying starts to feel like sinking.

Unaware of my surroundings, I feel a hard, painful blow to my head, this time to the top of my head. I land awkwardly and see the ground coming towards me fast.

I feel my forehead make contact with the ground hard in the same place. My eyes shut abruptly. Upon reopening them, everything seems fuzzy and blurry, like I was underwater. The feeling in my body seems to disappear, and everything fades to black.


	12. listen before i go

A/N: Warning: This chapter touches on the thoughts about suicide, self-harm, and abuse.

John's POV

"Oh god, someone set up a bed inside the house," I kneel beside Skye's unconscious body and feel the top of her head for a bump.

Julianna runs towards the deck and makes her way up into Andre's house. Marjorie and Tagu following shortly behind, leaving the gate to the deck open.

"Is she okay?" Andre dizzily jogs over to me, a worried look on his face before kneeling beside me.

"Skye! Wake up!"

Andre tries lightly, shaking her awake, worriedly feeling her forehead with the back of his hand.

She's out cold. I wrap my arms around her legs and back, then carry her up the deck. Lance picks Andre up to his feet.

"Thanks, I'm good," Andre says, struggling to walk up the stairs.

Somehow, I was able to walk stably with Skye in my arms into the house.

"In Andre's room, John," Julianna leads me to the room, with the bed already set up. "Marjorie and Tagu took the time to make the bed."

Tagu fluffs the pillow and arranges a blanket over the top of the bedsheets. I gently settle Skye into the bed and tuck a blanket on her up to her shoulders.

Marjorie comes into the room bearing Tylenol Pills and a glass of water.

"She can drink this as soon as she wakes up, Andre." She places the items onto Andre's drawer. "Do you understand?"

He nods and hovers over Skye.

"I should've warned her that she was jumping under the deck." He brought his hands to his face, obviously feeling stressed about the situation, almost too stressed.

However, Andre seems too tired, even to show any emotion at all.

With a comforting pat, Lance said, "Don't blame yourself for something that was out of your control."

That was just Andre. He feels this way all the time. When one of his friends gets hurt and he's around to witness it, he feels guilty and blames himself for not doing anything, even though it was out of his control.

Andre feels as if he could have prevented it if he just 'did better.' He'd then promise them that he would do better next time. And he fulfills those promises; he actually does better. However, it's a dawning weakness on him, because he'll always feel as if he's not good enough, even though he is doing alright and a better person than most people.

Letting out a long sigh, Andre gets up and opens his closet. He pulls out a pillow and blanket, then slowly marches to his living room.

"You sleeping on the couch?" I watch Andre as he lazily places the pillow onto the foot of the couch and plops down tiredly. "Andre?"

"You guys should go, my parents are coming home from the Casino in about," Andre yanks his phone from his pocket. "Thirty minutes. Did we even clean up everything?"

I nod, "We'll be going. See you soon?"

"Yeah, Skype tomorrow," Andre rubs his eyes, his voice sounding like it was about to trail off, possibly due to how wasted he was.

One by one, all of us file into a line and say our good-byes.

I look back at Andre, "You might want to lock the backdoor."

"I will," Andre sluggishly rolls off the couch and makes the walk past his island in the kitchen to the backdoor. "Goodnight, Jolo."

"Tell us about how Skye is tomorrow," I turn around and flash him a finger gun. "I hope your parents don't get angry."

Andre takes off his sweater and smirks, "I will! Just go before I don't let you leave."

I laugh, finally walking out the door.

"Goodnight."

The backdoor swings shut. The sound of the lock shifts as I walk down the stairs of the deck. I glance back at the barbeque grill he had tucked behind a few shelves. I wondered if we had gone here; instead, we could have grilled burgers and made the food we spent money on at Riverlanding. Maybe next time.

"Y'all can sleep in the basement, by the way," I shuffle next to Tagu.

She beams, "I can sleep in your room if you want."

My eyes grew, "Uh."

"I'm joking," She adjusts her glasses and sighs deeply, bringing her hands behind her head. "Well, I was hoping to sleep in your room. Speaking of, are we getting closer? This street is sending the wrong vibes through my head."

She springs into a hysterical laugh, resounding through the quiet street.

Andre lives about a five to six-minutes away from where I live. The street Andre lives on is sometimes busy. It resides on the side of the road with houses trailing off left and right. So when people finished work or school or came home from a long day, there'd usually be cars passing by. I lived on a crescent on the side opposite of where his house resided.

The street lamps were the only sources of light illuminating our way. None of the houses on this side of the road had their lights open, which was understandable. These were older looking houses too. The houses on the side opposite to where we were walking were all constructed in 2009, that's when Andre moved in.

Marjorie lets out a subtle cough.

"Okay, guys. Let's keep this PG."

I feel like I've gotten whiplash. I could feel my face heating up, and I knew I was blushing.

Tagu chuckles, "I'll sleep on the floor if it makes you feel better."

We were still a few minutes away from my house; we only passed Heggie Crescent after-all, which was the next to mine. I was moving, the house my family lived in wasn't entirely ours. We lived with my uncle, and I hear we're moving in an apartment along 33rd Street West, and close to Dundonald.

The midnight breeze blew against us, and I shiver.

My mouth rattles loudly, and I wrap my arms around myself.

"Goddamn, we should hurry."

The sound of thumping footsteps echoes the quiet neighbourhood. As we walk up to the front door, I fumble in my pocket for the house keys. My hands awkwardly jiggle the keys into the lock and impatiently turn it to open the door.

The house was dark, but if I turn on any lights, we would undoubtedly wake someone up. I shine a flashlight from my phone, it was achingly weak, but we still found our ways through the kitchen and into the basement.

Julianna jumps into the couch loudly, causing a squeak.

I throw an unopened package of toilet paper at her.

"Shut up!" I whisper sharply.

"Sorry, dude," Julianna softly giggles and stretches out her body to lay down. She glances at Lance. "Lance. You're gonna have to sleep beside the couch."

Lance laughs, then snuggles up beside Julianna, squishing her.

She grunts, "You're squishing me!"

He puts his finger to her mouth, "Shhh! Deal with it; we can be comfortable together."

She shuffles around and finally settles in a comfortable position on the couch.

"Ah.. this is better." Julianna nestles against Lance's chest, and both of them pass out instantly.

Marjorie had fallen asleep against the wall. She snores quietly as I walk past her, carefully avoiding objects on the floor that would trigger any loud sounds. The basement was small and had carpet floors. There was a coffee table, a couch, a T.V, and a mini table with a few chairs; it was mostly a second living room.

Tagu was using her phone, sitting on one of the chairs, "We heading up?"

I feel intense drumming against my chest, "You actually wanna sleep in my room?"

"Yeah, why not?" She stands up and heads up the stairs, eager to get into my room. "C'mon, don't trail behind too much. I might wander into the wrong room and get you in trouble."

I reluctantly follow her up the stairs, helping her navigate the dark house. We head into the corridor that branches away from the living room, where all the other rooms were. I tap her shoulder and open a door cautiously, a small creaking noise buzzing as it widely swings open.

My dog was laying on my bed comfortably. Knowing he was disturbed, he perks his head up at Tagu. He jumps off the mattress and starts to sniff her leg.

"I'm sorry," I stutter and scratch my head, feeling unusually embarrassed.

She snickers, "He probably smells Tybalt." Tagu takes off her coat and hops onto my bed.

My dog scurries outside to sleep in the living room. I peek my head out the doorframe and see him lay his grey head on the couch.

I poke my head back into my room, walk over to my dresser and grab a fresh new set of clothes, and step into the washroom. I change out of the jeans I was wearing, into shorts, and put on a tank top. I usually sleep without my shirt on, but I couldn't bring myself to do so since Tagu was here.

I hurry back into the room and hesitate.

"C'mon, there's enough space," Tagu turns onto her side and puts her glasses on my nightstand.

I gulp and lay down next to her, a small gap in between us.

"I'm sorry if I'm kind of restless when I sleep, so I might smother you during the night," I flick off my lamp and cover both of us in a soft, warm blanket.

"It's fine. I'll smother you first," Tagu says. I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Goodnight, Tagu," I shut my eyes and wait patiently for an answer.

"Goodnight."

I grin and do my best to find a comfy position. Hopefully, I wouldn't wake up the sleeping angel next to me.

Eventually, my eyes shut, after a few minutes of thinking to myself.

Andre's POV

"Why are you sleeping on the couch?"

I look over to my brother scratching his eyes.

"Skye's sleeping in my room tonight, Bub," I say groggily.

Adrian reaches for the doorknob of my bedroom, "Why?"

Rushing over to him, I grab his hand before the door opens and wakes her up.

"She fell and hit her head twice; she's knocked out cold."

His hand lets go of the knob, "Oh, I'm sorry."

I nod my head and gesture him to enter his room again. He does so, and I make my way back to the living room to turn off the lights and call it a night.

Taking a seat onto the couch, I bury my face into my hands. I was alone again. Apart of me wanted to go into the bedroom to sleep on the floor next to my bed, at least I would know Skye would be there with me.

I shake my head and hesitate to lay down onto the couch. I wrap the blanket I provided myself and curl up into a ball.

It was so dark in the living room; I could barely see anything in my view. Even the streetlights across the road through the window was hard to visualize.

There was a sudden, sharp pain throbbing at my heart. I clutch my chest and groan.

My mind starts to become disoriented and fuzzy, a ringing in my ears that seems to grow painful overtime. My heart races rapidly, and I find it difficult to breathe, like holding your breath underwater. At first, I didn't want to accept it, at this point in my life, I'd never had to go through any mental issues, but I was having an anxiety attack. I didn't know how to handle it.

I try to get up, but when my feet land onto the floor, it feels like there was nothing at all, like I was standing on a cloud. A sharp, stinging cloud.

It was like my body hated itself, and I feel hopeless. My chest becomes even more unbearably painful. The only thing I could hear was my breathing and the same thoughts of sadness flying freely through my mind. My legs, though I couldn't physically feel them, start to shake violently. I think I'd fallen onto the floor. I reach forward, nothing.

From the top of my head to the tip of my toes, I could not feel anything. My body involuntarily crawls to a corner of the dark house. So I was on my knees and hands, but where was I?

There was a sudden flash to my right, startling me. Then there was another one, and another one, and another one. A shadow seems to have tapped my foot, making me bump into something behind me.

I should feel scared, but all I feel right now is wanting to end it all, to pull my plug. I wanted this all to stop but didn't know how to make it stop.

The shadows and lights disappear, and I try to get back on all fours to crawl back to the couch. Flash, flash, flash. They hit me like a truck, literally. I was sent back into the wall, or whatever it was behind me, and I was stuck. The shadows came back again, but this time in groups, large groups. The moment I think it stops, it starts happening again. My body was fully numb; it hurt to touch anything.

I question everything; it didn't make sense that something could be darker than a dark room. My breathing is massive, and I couldn't calm down no matter how hard I try to regulate it.

Why? Why was this happening? I was contradicting everything I was taught to handle this type of situation again: I knew I was panicking, yet I couldn't find a way to calm down.

I couldn't believe my own body was hurting itself. I wanted to call out to Adrian and Skye to come to help me, but when I tried to scream for them, I could only mouth their names. Nothing was coming out.

Tears start to roll down my face, and as of now, I was uncontrollably crying, I hadn't even noticed that I was crying. I didn't know if I'm letting out a scream or a pathetic whimper. The ringing in my ears worsens, sounding even more emphatic than before.

I hesitate and start to scream again, but this time I could hear my screaming in my mind, but in real life, it came out as a raspy, monotone 'ahh.'

Imagine hearing yourself scream inside your mind. It's genuinely terrifying; I was trapped inside my own body.

Tears roll down my face, and I could feel sweat profusely leaving the pores of my head. I was sitting on a hot rock; I must be.

Fuck, it might all just be in my head, like everything else.

I internally scream at myself to snap out of it or at least come back to some of my senses.

An uncertain amount of time passes by over, and I don't know if years passed by or if minutes passed by. I give up. I fall onto the floor, a vibration coursing through my body.

I was quietly saying my goodbyes to my friends as if they were there, or were those just the voices in my head? 

My mind was telling me to try to escape, to run, but I can't move. I'm frozen in fear. The pain in my heart and muscles grow profoundly painful, but all I could do was let my body fuck itself up. At least I didn't have to do it myself.

An overwhelming force picks me up to my feet. Where were they taking me? Who was it? My mind panics more, am I being kidnapped?

Slowly, I could start to feel my surroundings again. The softness of the couch touches my leg, and a bright light blinds me. I could make out a face. It was my dad.

"D... D--"

"Shh, Shh. Just rest," the sound of his voice, muffled, or that's how I hear it.

The lights are off, and my hearing starts to become stable again. A cold, wet cloth sent a shiver down my spine, as it rubs on the sides of my head and forehead. It lands on my face, and I could feel the warmness of the tears disappear.

As the cloth leaves my face, it rests atop my forehead. My breathing starts to regulate. The pain in my chest and body begin to subside. The aftermath of the storm, I suppose.

It was over, thank God.

It was over.

Skye's POV

My eyes flutter open. Where was I? I pull myself up off the bed, then an extreme amount of pain jolts throughout my head.

I groan, "Fuck!"

Falling back down to the comfort of my pillow, I realize that I'd been asleep in someone else's bed. Did someone take me to Marjorie's?

I notice a bottle of Tylenol and a glass of water on the drawer in front of me. With a deep breath, I slowly arise from the bed. The pain in my head becomes two hundred times more intolerable than before.

Leaning in with my body, I grab the pills.

Temptation begins to bounce back and forth inside my mind.

Drink the pills, Skye. All of them. It'll be over in a minute.

A sense of wickedness floods my brain, rinsing out all the rationality I had.

I really want to do it, to end it all. It would be so much easier to die right now. I didn't want to return to my real home, nor did I want the others to find out about the baggage I have to carry around every day. Other than Marjorie, no one knew of my real life at home and school, and I didn't want her to live with the burden of knowing, of possibly worrying about me every day. Killing myself would also set me free of the possible hurt I'd feel if I found out that she didn't actually care, like the last people I opened up too.

I glance down at my arm and roll up the sleeve of my shirt.

My arm was a constant reminder; the only other thing I could control was how much pain I could make myself feel. The makeup was one thing I could manage, the clothing styles I wore were some of the things in my control, but slitting my wrist was another. It gave me a sensation of satisfaction.

Reluctantly, I take one pill out of the bottle and dry swallow it. The urges start, the urge to find something sharp constantly claws at me. It was similar to drug addiction, the calls, and itchiness you'd feel when you wanted to do something so badly. This was my drug; the pain feels good; it always did. I've accepted that the pain I made myself feel was more endurable than the pain my family makes me feel every day.

If I could control the pain I feel every day, then the hurt my parents and others give me can be tolerable. So, I resort to hurting my own body. It's easy. As I said, it was like a drug; it gives me relief, gives me power over myself.

My body was too tired, even to lay back down again.

My body hits the bed, and I kick the blanket off onto the floor. I glimpse at my arms again and roll my sleeves back up.

Maybe next time.


	13. Put Your Head On My Shoulder

Skye's POV

I awaken to the smell of bacon — The sound of sizzling heard from beyond the room. My body rolls off the bed, and I quickly landed my feet on the carpet floor. With a long stretch, I make my way over to the door and notice my bag of clothes.

Was I at Marjorie's? Looking down, I realize I'm still wearing my clothes from last night, which gave off the stench of alcohol.

My tongue hangs out of my mouth in disgust, as I quickly pull out a fresh set of clothes from my bag. Slipping out of my dirty clothes, I hop into my casual red and black striped shirt and black ripped denim skirt. I wipe off what's left of my lipstick and finally reach for the doorknob.

Remembering the breakdown, I had a couple of hours before waking up; I glance at my arm sleeve. Flashbacks occur of last night about what I felt in the bed and the sight of my wrist. I take a deep breath and reach for the knob once again.

As I open the door, the sun was shining high in the sky. The scent of bacon was even stronger the moment my body left the room, and eagerly, I rush towards the smell.

A familiar boy was cooking breakfast, flipping over the strips of crispy goodness.

"Andre?"

"Oh! You're awake," He says, sounding surprised, giving me a gentle smile as he tosses the contents in the pan and scrambles eggs in a bowl. What a showoff, doing two things at once when cooking and operating in the kitchen. It was admittedly charming, and I don't mind it.

I glance over to the couch to see a pillow and blanket messily stationed there.

I realize that I'd stayed the night at his house. And that I'd slept in his room. Guilt starts to form a pit in my stomach, I deprived him of a comfortable bed, and his bed was very comfortable.

"Wait, I'm still here?"

Andre tilts his head and bites his lip at me.

"Yeah, you knocked yourself out last night," He playfully hits his head with a spoon. "You bonked your head twice."

I scooch over to the living room and hover over the couch. I fold his blanket and fluff his pillow; it was the least I could do for letting me stay in his room. His parents probably got angry or at least a little frustrated for having someone stay the night without any warning. I bet he was cooking me breakfast, too.

"Thanks, Skye," Andre flashes up a finger gun at me, smirking. "You know, you look unusual without black lipstick on."

"Well, we just met, so you've only seen me in black lipstick," I touch my lips, my heart beating rapidly. Oh God, he knows what I look like barefaced now. "So, I only looked good with the lipstick on?"

Andre stammers, furrowing his eyebrows as he glances over his shoulder to look at me.

"What? God, no. You're the prettiest thing I've ever seen."

"Oh, gosh," I didn't know whether or not the feeling simmering inside me was excitement or nausea. Either way, it feels like I'm going to throw up. I casually try to hide my face behind my hand. "Nevermind, forget I said anything."

Memories of last night seem like a blur, but I do remember blacking out at some point during the night. I walk over to Andre and meet his eyes.

"Skye, I must admit I was worried sick about you," He sighs heavily. "We all thought you would wake up with a concussion or something."

"I think I'm concussion free," I say apathetically, which causes him to chuckle.

"You never know," He replies, flipping over a strip of bacon. "You know since you hit your head on wood and the ground."

"Well, I feel okay so far," I touch my head lightly and feel an intense pain on the top of my head. "Ow!"

Andre sets the tongs he was holding down on the counter and reduces the heat of the stove before scurrying over to me.

"Let me see," Carefully, his soft fingers start to run through my hair, trying to feel a bump, "Found it."

I wince, but chills are sent through my body as I feel his warm, soft hands stroking my hair. There was that feeling again; I really hope I don't throw up.

Andre looks up, "You look nauseous. Are you comfy with me doing this?"

I nod hesitantly, sucking in my bottom lip.

His warm smile radiates at me, "Good."

He starts rubbing around the area where the pain subsided the most, to feel if there were any other ones he missed.

"Is it bad?" I ask, grimacing over the bump on my head.

"It's small for a goose egg bump, but considering how hard you hit your head, it must hurt a lot," Andre frowns and gives me an ice pack from his fridge.

I hold it in place and try to ignore the throbbing pain on my head. He bends down a little and examines my forehead.

"Is there anything there?" I blush. Andre's face was incredibly close to mine, maybe a breath away from each other.

He sucks on his bottom lip, and stands up straight, "Lucky you! Only one goose egg to deal with!"

I giggle shortly and inhale the pleasant scent of cooked bacon, "Wow. When I first met you, you seemed more like a flirter, not a cook."

He scoffs while he seasons the eggs, "I can cook as you can see! Just wait till you have my famous potatoes for dinner."

For dinner? I was about to stay at his house all day. What was going on in his head? It was easy for me to read people. Or that's what I call it. I usually make wrong assumptions to push people away, so I don't have to deal with any drama or confessions. I'd rather have acquaintances, not friends, even though something inside me is yearning me to find that group of people to actually call my friends.

I thought I would've scared Andre away last night, that was my plan from the beginning, though it was hard to come to that decision. And even when deciding to do so, his advances and flirtations made me react differently and actually made me think otherwise. Marjorie as well, I let her take me home, something I would never let anyone do for my sake, and yet I accepted it. I loved helping and putting others before myself, but the moment someone tries that with me, I'm as good as gone. 

There was something, not just about Andre and Marjorie, but all of them, like there was something more about them that wasn't showing itself. It seems as if this small group of friends as the potential to be even more significant, more special than it's already perceived to be. That's what's drawing me in. Admittedly, I didn't want that, but again, there was this stupid little voice inside me telling me to stay, and I'm listening without even thinking.

"We'll have to wait and see," I reply drearily.

He scoots over next to me, "If you want, I can cook you up some more corny pickup lines."

I roll my eyes, but can't help but smile, "Please don't."

"Okay, Skye-with-an-e," Andre chuckles, then quickly stations the plate of bacon onto the kitchen table, along with the eggs.

"Please, don't call me that either," I cross my arms and raise an eyebrow at him.

He smirks, "Even after a drunken night; you can still remember me calling you that."

"Also, after hitting my head, I still remember," I add blankly.

I let go of the icepack resting on my head and leave it on the island in the kitchen.

Suddenly, the buzzing noise of a speaker deafens me, "Ah! What is that?"

In the span of the seconds, the buzzing stops, and the song _Put Your Head On My Shoulders by Paul Anka _starts to play. My body jerks, I wasn't fond of these kinds of songs.

I start to gag jokingly, cringing at the sound of the tune, "Ugh, these songs are so... _lovey-dovey._ Maybe a little cutesy, too."

Andre gasps, looking offended, "I like this song; thank you very much."

I shrug, disregarding his feelings with a smug grin, "Too bad. It's true."

As I continue to spout my disgust for this genre of music - despite respecting old songs like these - my heart drops just after my eyes catch Andre offering a hand in front of me.

"Uh, what are you doing?" I involuntarily inch closer to his awaiting palm, slowly tiptoeing my way over to him. What was I doing? It's like, I'm a puppet, and something is moving me towards him, and I don't want to accept that I _was_ drawn to him. "I hope you're not doing what I think you're gonna do."

Andre clears his throat and shakes his head, "Well, since you had a rough night, it's time to make you feel a bit thankful for your new friends. First off: Be glad Marjorie brought your bag of clothes here before going home. You would've stunk up the house with alcohol, and we'd both get beat by my parents."

My stomach flutters, and I erupt into laughter, despite worrying earlier that he did get in trouble. 

"Did you get in trouble?"

Andre's eyes droop sadly, then he shakes his head, "Nope."

I flash him a shy smile, "That's good."

"Anyway," he continues. "Secondly: You don't seem like a dancer, but slow dancing to a song like this would cheer anyone up, right?"

The song suddenly continued to the next one during our conversation.

The sound of his feet shuffles hurriedly towards his phone.

"Shit, wait there."

Hovering over his cellphone, he grabs it to switch the song. The familiar song rings again, his head slowly turning back to look at me.

Andre walks over, then stands before me, "May I have this dance, Skye-with-an-e?"

"You said it yourself. I'm not much of a dancer, Andre," I avoid looking at him, but can still feel his eyes on me. I feel my face heat up. "Don't look at me like that."

I rub my upper arm and search for an answer; then, I feel a tug on my wrist, "Wha- Hey!"

"Too bad, c'mere!" He fervently pulls me closer and closer to him, which provokes me to panic a little.

I resist and try pulling away, but the heat of the moment takes me over. Goddamnit, what was happening to me? I didn't want to break my own rules for someone I barely knew, and someone who was only slightly charming. Not that I cared if he was or not, this wasn't on my to-do list, and it was honestly something I'd try to avoid if anyone asked me for a dance. But he just forced me into it, and I'm not even resisting that well, it's like I'm letting myself - fuck! I'm letting this happen to me.

My body presses up against his; I could feel his heartbeat against my own. I almost passed out. That moment when you can feel someone's pulsing heart against yours, it just hits differently. I disregard the thoughts I just had, and sink in. I sigh, maybe this won't be as bad as I think.

My face flushes red, and glancing down at my nose, I notice a crimson line across it and feel the butterflies in my stomach when I try to avoid his dreamy gaze.

I see his phone fly across the room, landing perfectly onto the counter. He plays the song back again.

The music rings into our ears, and my body feels weak, being so close to Andre like this. Ah, fuck it. There was no point in resisting when there was no resistance at all.

"You owe me," My eyes avoid him when suddenly, his fingers cup my chin.

He lifts it ever so gently, and I surrender to the feeling of his soft, gentle hands, urging me to look at him.

Andre blushes and gawks at me, his pupils dilating as he stared at me longer.

"Great!" He cheers.

He lets go of my chin, and I feel him grasp my hand. In unison, we both extend our arms away from each other.

As we get into position, Andre lets his opposite hand cling onto my waist. Shivers are sent through my body again as he grapples onto me loosely. I slowly bring my free hand up onto his shoulder.

Andre begins to sway me back and forth. My legs and arms stiffen up when I think I make a wrong move, but he only gestures at me that I'm doing fine. 

"Uhm, I actually don't know how to dance."

"Oh my, God, is this your first dance?" Andre gasps. "I feel so special!"

He beams and bursts into a fit of soft, cute laughter.

"This better be a good dance then, Mr. Macatangay," I smirk and stare him right in the eye. "Lead me."

For a moment, the song ends, but it repeats. I step nearer into him and catch his eye, "Smart, you put the song on repeat. You don't have to awkwardly waddle to the phone."

"I did not waddle! Are you silly?" Andre nods, stifling a laugh. He notices my feet start to stumble a bit. 

"Oh! I'm sorry." I lower my head. "I told you I wasn't much of a dancer."

I raise my head and see him grinning at me, "Don't worry, Skye. I'm gonna make you remember your first dance."

My eyebrow elevates, "How are you planning on doing that, Sir?"

Smiling mischievously, he waltzes me across the kitchen towards the living room. My face feels like it's one fire as I follow his lead. 

It starts to feel so natural dancing with him. My heart feels like it was soaring across the sky and changes directions as soon as we waltz into a different spot of the house.

Instantaneously, he spins me, and I giggle as he positions me back into the original. Hand in hand, dancing like this made me forget everything else and made me feel... happy.

The morning sun framed our slow dance for a moment as we passed by the tall window in his living room. It's as if the sun was a spotlight shining on us, following our bodies' movements as we glide across a large stage.

We dreamily gaze at each other, knowing full well that we both feel the same way. The feeling of being the only two people in the world, knowing we had each other to lean on for support. I never believed in my life that I'd feel connected to anyone, yet here I am, literally linked up with someone I never thought would make me feel this way.

In my mind, I thought, there couldn't be anything more perfect than slow dancing, barefoot across the house floors. We fluctuated in a different area of the house. His living room and kitchen were connected, and soon we found ourselves circling the island in the kitchen, laughing and smiling at each other.

I detect the fragrance of his body. The strong smell of his aroma enters my nose, completely taking me over. For once in my life, I could sense I was genuinely and truly delighted.

Happiness like this, I haven't experienced in a long time. The party last night made me feel good too, but this moment just engulfed my mind in happiness, it was unexplainable.

It made me forget about earlier when I woke up at the crack of dawn, wanting to hurt myself. My cynical and painful emotions all suppressed during this moment. If magic was real, this is what it was. This feeling was magical; I didn't want it to stop. The sense of not having to worry about anything overwhelms me, and it's all thanks to this dance, all thanks to Andre.

Satisfied, I bring myself to lay my head on his shoulder, silently thanking him for everything he's done for me so far. We only just met recently, but he and his friends have already helped me feel like the happiest girl alive. I savour the time my head rests on Andre's shoulder. For once in my life, I felt wanted by another human being. It's all so sudden, it didn't make any sense, but I didn't want to question this sensation. Who knew dancing with someone would make me realize all of this? I still feel his heart pounding at my chest, and soon our breathing was in sync.

The song ends at my dismay, and I was half expecting him to ask me for another dance. His dark eyes shimmer at me, which prompts me to smile widely.

"Thank you for this, I really needed it," I appreciatively hug him tightly and part from his arms. "I needed this."

Andre lifts his fingers to my forehead then pokes it softly with a smile, "Anything for you, Skye."

I cup his face as I did during our meeting at Riverlanding, "You're incredibly nice, did you know that?"

"I've gotten that lots, yes," breathing heavily, he makes his way towards the kitchen table, "Let's go eat breakfast. I have a lot to talk to you about."


	14. That's What Friends Are For

Skye's POV

Walking towards the dinner table, Andre pulls a chair out for me. I sit down, keen to eat breakfast. He piles my plate high with three strips of crispy bacon, and golden scrambled eggs.

I salivate and hear him ask, "Milk, juice, or water?"

"Milk," I dig into my food, and to my delight, it tasted delicious. "Oh, wow."

"Glad you like it," He said while pouring me a glass. Andre lowers the volume of the music, before approaching me with my milk.

"Bone Apple Tea."

"Do you mean _'bon appetit?'"_ I begin to laugh as I took a tiny sip of milk.

Andre gazes at me with a blank expression planted on his face. "Bone Apple Tits?"

"Wait, are you referencing that meme-"

"Saggy ballsack Lips," Andre nods proudly at himself before letting his face fall in embarrassment. "Forget I said that."

I suck my lips in to prevent myself from laughing, "Yeah, that's a good idea."

Andre chuckles awkwardly then sets himself onto the chair, "Before we talk about stuff, can I ask you for one more thing?"

"Yeah, sure," I flash him a quick smile as I chewed.

Biting his lip, he stutters, "May I have another dance after we eat?"

A broad smile spreads across my face, "Ugh, fine." I drop my fork and cover my mouth as I began to convulse into laughter. "I'm only agreeing to another dance cause' you still dared to ask me after saying _'saggy ballsack lips.'_ "

He giggles, scratching his head, anxiously, "Are you sure it's not 'cause I'm a good dancer?"

"No," rolling my eyes, I shake my head and smirk, "Okay, maybe."

"...Or you know, you could say I had-"

I stare at him, a mischievous grin forming across his face, "Please don't finish that-"

" **-The balls.** "

I sigh in disappointment, looking up at the ceiling, "God, if you can hear me, tell Andre you still love him."

Andre snorts, slapping his hand in the air, "That joke wasn't that bad."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," I take a bite out of the bacon before returning my gaze to him. "What'd you wanna talk about?"

Andre's POV

"Why did Marjorie magically have a bag of your clothes?" I tap a fork on the edge of my plate in anticipation.

I nervously stare at her, and an unpleasant feeling formed in the pit of my stomach. I gulp, trying not to explode from how worried I felt.

Marjorie had told me about Skye's family problems at home, and she did warn me not to tell her I knew. But in my heart, I know I want to help her. I had to tell her I knew.

If I weren't honest with her about what Marjorie told me, it would be like lying to her. I don't know if Skye even trusts me completely, considering she hasn't told me. Sure, we've been very flirty, but that doesn't mean she trusts me. Hell, we've only known each other for a day.

Skye glances down at her lap and shifts uncomfortably around in her seat, "I... don't know."

There was a heaviness in her voice, and her eyes seem to grow dark. There was an absolute pain hiding behind her goth exterior like it was something to distract us about what was really wrong about her. I only knew half the story; she's going through something much worse, worst than my situation.

Though, my breakup, as much as I didn't like thinking about the rejection, it was more so how I felt after, what flicked inside my mind. Something changed in me that day, and I didn't want to admit it.

"Skye, please," I sigh deeply and lay my chin on the palm of my hand. "It doesn't make sense that a bag with things you own was with Marjorie."

"It does perfectly make sense," Skye stutters, her voice cracking. "I could have packed some stuff knowing full well I would be staying the night at Marjorie's house."

I shake my head sadly, "Skye, please tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong. Don't interrogate me, please," The redhead glares at me, and angrily takes a bite out of her bacon. I know she isn't mad, but I also know she wanted to be mad at me. I'd probably pushed her too much on trying to tell me, and I have to realize people don't like that.

I feel horrible.

She passes my eyes, refusing to meet my gaze. The feeling in my stomach intensifies, throbbing harder and harder as each moment passes. I nervously take a drink out of my Sunny-D.

I couldn't take the unpleasant feeling in my stomach any longer.

I either had to get it out of Skye or just told her Marjorie told me. Honestly, I didn't want to throw Marjorie under the bus like that. For all I know, Skye could get angry at her.

I gulp, then notice my fingers and toes have gone ice cold. My chest was taken over by the same, severe pain I had felt the night before. The expression on my face contorts into one of panic; I see that Skye noticed it too. I needed to act fast.

"Excuse me for a second," I could barely hear my voice, it sounded muffled like hearing yourself talk while submerged underwater.

Skye's mouth opens, and it was clear she was talking to me. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand what Skye had spoken either. With one push, I storm out of my seat and sprint into the washroom, slamming it shut loudly, causing the floor to shake violently.

I flick open the lights, and to my distress, my vision's cloudy, and I was wearing glasses. The gut-wrenching feeling in my stomach disperses to the rest of my body. The pain I felt in my chest is excruciating, even more so than the night before.

I fall onto my knees and to the floor. I lay sideways and hug my legs to prepare myself for what was to come.

The ringing in my ears return, and so did everything else I experienced: the shadowy figures, the flashing lights, the heartwrenching emotions of the world imploding on you, and only you.

My breathing becomes staggered and heavy; sweat droplets fall from my face onto the floor of the washroom. Like a dam breaking, tears fall from my eyes, and sharp pain, as if I were being stabbed, occurs in my abdomen.

I think I've gone deaf, but I don't know if it's temporary, or this is just my life now. Dizziness and sweat drip from my head, and though I couldn't feel them, my hands were shaking, I could see it through the hazy vision. Or are those just my eyes shaking? My head?

Trying to scream only results in the air coming out of my mouth in such a way that it made me panic even more. I could only hear my own ear-piercing scream inside my head.

A loud thumping echoes at my feet. It sounds like someone was banging at the door. With all the strength I had, I slowly turn my body around and crawl towards the door, wincing at the pins and needles that develop in my limbs. I couldn't. I curled up into a ball again.

The voices toy with my thoughts; they're telling me to stop and just give up. I wanted to give up, but I didn't. I keep going, trudging towards the door.

Glancing up at the door, it seems to get farther and farther as I crawl closer. It's in my grasp one moment but moves further every time I graze a finger.

Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and accept my fate. I tuck my head into my knees and close my eyes.

Suddenly, the clattering of the door grew louder and louder. Finally, I could make out a voice screaming on the other side.

"Andre! Andre! What's happening in there?"

"Kuya! Do I need to call Mom and Dad?" It was Adrian.

My body shakes uncontrollably, "Guh.. uh.." was all I could reply.

The door swings open, it slams into my head with tremendous force, "Oh, God! I'm sorry!"

Though I didn't feel the pain on my head, I felt a vibration throughout my body. Thankfully, after being slammed in the head, my senses started coming back to me slowly. Funny how I was literally knocked to my senses.

Skye rushes over to me; she places her hands onto my shoulders and shakes me vigorously. She puts her head on my chest, and the beating of my heart seems to slam against her temple.

"Adrian, get me a cloth," She calmly starts to wipe my tears and sweat falling from my face with her hand.

After a few minutes, all my senses became clear to me, I could hear perfectly again, and the pain in my chest subsided.

"Adrian!"

"What happened?" Skye rips the towel from Adrian's hands, then starts to gently wipe my face, making sure not a single droplet remained on my face. "Answer me!"

Skye's tone sounds more urgent, her face falling after noticing my sunken-in eyes. Her small hands fumble the cloth, moving it down to my neck.

The cold shock of the cloth calms me down remarkably.

"I--" I hesitate, trying to find words to answer her question. "I think I had another attack."

Adrian kneels beside Skye, "Do I need to call--"

"No! It's okay, Adrian. Thank you," I gesture for him to leave me alone with Skye, and I hear the sliding of his feet reach the kitchen.

Skye tosses the towel aside, "As I figured, it was an anxiety attack."

Leaning my head against the wall, I reach for her hand and let our fingers tangle into each other, "How'd you know to come for me?"

Skye's grip tightens, she frowns, "I could hear you from the kitchen! You were breathing extremely loud, the washroom echoed. Adrian could hear it too."

"Damn," I dip my head. "I'm sorry for worrying you then."

An expression of guilt spreads across Skye's face, and her bottom lip comes forward, "No, don't be."

She arises from her knees, not yet letting go of my hand. She tugs at me to stand up as well, and I do so, allowing the unusual strength of her arms to pull me up, meeting her eyes once I stabilize my legs.

I wet my lips, then drag her back to the dinner table to finish breakfast.

We don't exchange any words.

As we finish eating, I take the contents of the table to the sink. I glance behind me to find Skye sitting on the couch where I slept. She catches my eye and gives me a shy smile before glancing back down at her phone.

I finish up washing the dishes, then make my way over to where she's sitting, "Who you texting there?"

"Marjorie," Skye doesn't look away from her phone. As I sat down next to her, she sighs.

"Look, I wasn't completely honest with you earlier," She clears her throat. "The reason I-- I can't, what if you--"

I cover her mouth with a single finger, "It's okay. Just tell me really slowly." I massage her hand and nod at her to speak.

As I move my hand away from her lips, she breathes deeply, "The reason I had a bag of my belongings with me, is because my parents kicked me out."

Her voice splits. I could hear the pain in her voice as she said that. Just before she starts to cry, I pull her into a deep embrace. I stroke her hair softly before unwillingly pulling away from her arms.

"Why did your parents do that?"

She explains to me the full story: the abuse, the mistreatment, all of it. I bite my lip and unknowingly grab her hand during her explanation. I wince, hearing this from her was even more heartbreaking than hearing it from Marjorie. Fuck, her situation was worse than me.

I look down at her hands, then back up to her, "I'm so sorry, Skye. I'm sorry you had to tell me that."

Skye stares blankly at me, shaking her head, "You know, it's so strange to have already told my story to two people I barely even know."

"Skye, you can trust Marjorie and me, I promise," I reassure her by stroking her cheek lightly.

"Promises, I find them funny," Tears start to emerge from her eyes. "It's hard for me to believe that considering the people I've told before have turned their backs on me. It was tough for me to do this for you both."

My heart shatters even more. Who could hurt someone so _perfect?_ So honest? She puts others before herself, her understanding of people was most likely more significant than mine, and it was probably tainted by the people who hurt her. Her parents? Those few people she decided to tell turned away from her? If her empathy wasn't broken by then, then I still had a chance to save her.

I rub Skye's soft face, gently brushing the tears away from her cheekbone, "You did tell us, though. That was brave of you, no going back now."

"I'm just afraid I'll regret it. I mean, Marjorie told you before I did," An angry distortion expands across her face. "That would've made me turn you guys away, but Marjorie invited me into her home. No one offers something like that, especially someone she just met. That's why I trusted her. It's you that I don't know I can trust."

My heart plummets, and I stand up slowly, feeling as though my limbs weigh a thousand pounds. It was understandable, I know what it feels like to be hesitant about someone, but it hurt nonetheless.

"Oh, Skye. I give you my word; I won't do what those assholes did to you, I swear it."

My voice cracks, knowing I sound desperate for her trust. Taking a moment to breathe, I calm myself down to prevent another attack from happening.

Skye scoffs, eyebrows furrowed, "That's exactly what they told me. 'I'll give you my word' or 'I promise.' It's just all an act!"

"You really believe I'm like that?" I bite my lip hard to prevent myself from weeping.

"I don't know, Andre!" Skye snaps, causing me to startle. "I only told you because I felt bad for lying to you earlier, then you had a fucking anxiety attack! Even then, you still needed to reassure me. I don't know what else to do!"

She storms off, rubbing her temples.

Before she gets far, I reach out for her wrist and tug it ever so gently. Her head sharply glances back at me, tears falling down her face as if they were raindrops. I pull her close and wrap my arms around her waist, laying my head on her chest ever so tenderly.

"I promise, Skye. Words are just things people say, you're right."

Skye sniffles, and falls into my body. I feel my shoulder begin to dampen. She was sobbing her heart out in my arms.

Her voice becomes muffled, "How do I know I can trust you? I want to trust you. I'm sorry for lashing out."

"Don't be sorry, Bub," I rub Skye's head comfortingly. "It's not that simple. You can't just trust me overnight. Though you trusted Marjorie extremely quickly, she did something for you that you thought no one was capable of doing, you're right."

She raises her head from my chest, her eyes barely peeking up from where she lay, "What does that have to do with me trusting you?"

I hesitate, then gently kiss the top of her head, "Well, that's the thing. You might grow to trust me differently from how you started to trust Marjorie. Hell, trust is something you can't just have, there's no equation for trust. So people do it because it's one of the many things humans do that they can't explain."

Skye's bloodshot eyes came into my view, shattering my heart into a couple more pieces. She stares at me, waiting for more.

"It's just a leap of faith, Skye. Marjorie's offer assured you that she could be trusted, and that was the deciding factor of why you believe in her."

"...Andre?"

"...If you want to trust me, you need to understand it's a leap of faith. You'll get there; I'm not asking you to believe in me in the span of our one-day-old friendship," I unwillingly pull her away from me. "Trusting is hard, but it's something we do best because it's what separates your friends from your family."

Skye gawks at my face, confusedly, "Thanks, Andre. For everything."

I chuckle and poke her forehead, "You already thanked me earlier, which reminds me!"

I rush towards the speaker, and move it into the living room, "You promised me another dance, Darling Dear. If anything is gonna cheer you up, it's another dance."

The song _Love of My Life by Queen_ starts to sound out of the speakers loudly. A subtle smile slowly forms across Skye's face, making it glow. She begins to giggle as she wipes her tears away.

I offer her my hand, which she takes hastily, her small fingers lacing with mine. I gently bring my free hand onto her waist.

"Have I teased you about being one the shortest people I know?" I ask, playfully laying my chin on the top of her head.

Skye shakes her head and pleads with me, "You don't have to remind me, please."

"You say please a lot, shortie," My head tilts. "Or would you prefer, Skye-with-an-e?"

"None of the above," Skye's face remains neutral as she brings her hand to my shoulder. "Don't call me, Darling Dear either."

The house fills with music, along with our laughter. After moments of carefully waltzing her around the house, the same feelings of happiness engulf me, just as the last dance did.

Just seeing her standing in front of me, dancing with me, feels so blissful. I feel like I was on top of the world. We were on top of the world. Earlier today, when I gave Skye the first slow dance she's ever had, I thought I was special for a moment. She singlehandedly made me forget all the problems I'm going through right now; she nearly saved me.

Though my brother was here, the impression was, it was only the two of us alone.

Skye's astonishing good looks, and how adorable she acts during situations like this, along with her absolutely, positively personality, made the first moments of our friendship worthwhile.

It seems like time works differently when Skye and I are together like the world stops spinning just for us to have a moment like this last forever. Forever, that word boggles my mind because many people misinterpret it. The days are numbered for a reason, there is no forever, but with the right people, you'd feel forever, but never experience it.

I spin her around. She's a natural, how could this only be her second slow dance.

She stumbles onto my foot, almost making us fall to the ground.

"I'm sorry!"

Oh, this is her second slow dance.

Happiness shined from the both of us. It envelopes our minds with the sense that we shouldn't have to worry about everything that's happening around us because we know we have each other. I hope I could tell her that one day.

"Skye?" I start to spin her again, with passion burning inside my heart as the electric guitar riff loudly plays and echoes the house.

The breathtaking smile she had on her face, along with her dark blue eyes hypnotizing me, left me astonished.

Skye's voice snaps me back to my senses.

Her face beams at me with intent. "Yeah?"

"Remember what I told you, about trust," Pulling her closer, I sway her back and forth, each motion becoming slower and slower as time passes. The song was almost at its end.

"I won't forget, I'll consider what you said and think about it," Skye tucks her hair behind her ear, then sweetly boops my nose. "It was profound. I have to admit."

Smiling widely, I painfully let her go as the song ends.

"I need to sit down."

I'm surprisingly exhausted from such a short dance; I couldn't explain why. Maybe so much time passed that we actually danced for more than an hour or two.

I groan and sink into the couch, "Ugh, why am I so tired?"

"It's probably because of your attack earlier," Skye explains, sitting down next to me to rub my forehead. "Anxiety attacks usually exhaust someone since it causes stress in the body."

I frown, "That explains a lot."

Skye stammers, and quickly changes the subject, "I wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah?" I pant, then slowly inch my head towards Skye's legs to lay on them.

"I was texting Marjorie earlier and, don't get mad, she told me you might be having those attacks because of what--"

My heart races, then my hand rises to her lips, "Say no more."

She stops speaking and stares down at me with sad eyes, "You don't have to tell me."

I sigh, "No. It's the least I can do for you since you told me your story."

Clearing my throat, my body starts to become numb, "You might understand why it hurt so bad for me, though I can't imagine a breakup being worse than your home life."

"Don't say that. Marjorie told me you've never had a history with anxiety attacks," Skye lightly places a hand on my shoulder. "How could it have not been worse than mine? You were a completely perfect person before it happened. Or that's what she told me at least."

My face falls, and I begin to feel my cheeks warming up, "Am I not right now?"

Skye's eyes grow wide, "No! You're perfect right now, too! Stop!"

I burst into a small fit of laughter, "Don't butter me up, silly. I was joking."

The redhead rolls her eyes, before erupting into giggles as well, "You're funny."

Beaming, I poke her forehead from where I lay, "I think she meant I was the happiest person."

Skye tilts her head confused, "You seem like the happiest person already, though. Despite the attack you had, you act like there's nothing wrong. How badly did that affect you?"

"Pretty bad. I still let my personality shine through because there's no point in hiding who you truly are because of one bad thing," I groan, nudging her stomach softly, "But, not as much as before, I'm sure my friends noticed. I'm not like my old self. I really wish I was my old self again."

I gulp, bracing myself, trying to find the words to start my story. With a heavy heart, I begin to explain the events of which took place during a Saturday in May of 2019.


	15. Too Much Love Will Kill You

Andre's POV (May. 18, 2019)

"Why were you doing THAT with him is all I'm asking! Don't get so worked up," I scream and try to grab her arm to comfort her, only to have it slapped away.

"I was with him because he's my best friend! What's so hard to understand about it?" Indigo answers, turning away from me.

I feel myself start to explode in anger, "He's always so touchy with you, hugging you, and for fuck's sake, kissing you!"

"It wasn't lip to lip, Andre. I feel like there's no big deal if it's on the cheek or forehead," The tone in her voice shakes as if she's trying to hide something.

"I don't care, you don't see Marjorie or Julianna doing that to me, and they're my bestest friends too," Shaking my head, I try to reach out to her again. She shrugs my hand away.

At this point, everything I did was helpless, but I was taught not to give in to doubt during the worst possible times, especially since this girl had been the answer to my problems after my last girlfriend left me three years ago.

She sharply turns her head toward me, "It's different for you and me! What's so hard to fucking understand that he's just my best friend and that we want to be different from the rest?"

"How many times do I have to explain what he does to you is way too far for my liking. Only couples should do that to each other," I yell, shaking my fists at my side.

"'Your liking?' Is it always about you?" She shoves me lightly.

"This isn't about me! I'm trying to tell you that best friends aren't that touchy with each other, and you know that," I reply completely overtaken by anger at this point. "Fuck! I understand where you're coming from; I changed so much for you because you nagged me for hugging other girls! I didn't want to make you jealous anymore!"

It was true. I'd severed all the ties I had with other girls. We still talked, but many of the girls I used to talk too all grew distant, I was hesitant to speak to anyone in fear my girlfriend would get jealous.

"Yes! I know you did, and I'm thankful."

No, she wasn't.

"But why can't Ash and I be different from other people who have a best friend," She gulps, avoiding my gaze. "We have a unique friendship, is that so hard to understand?"

I sigh deeply, seeing right through her bluff. At this point, I was questioning if she ever loved me in the first place. I was questioning everything about myself, too. 

Maybe I wasn't a good boyfriend. Perhaps I'm making the same mistakes as my last relationship, the mistakes I promised myself to fix.

"You can be different from the rest in other ways. The hugging is okay, but kissing on the cheek, and for fuck's sake, groping each other! Don't think I didn't see that."

She stares at me blankly, with a glint of fear in her eyes. She takes a seat on her couch, covering her mouth and leaning on her palm.

A sudden realization hits me, has she been cheating on me this whole time? With her 'best friend'?

I hesitantly take a seat next to her, then try to put my arm around her, only to have it shrugged off once again, "Baby, what's wrong?"

She shakes her head. There was a certain heaviness in her eyes, a barrier almost, trying to hide something from me.

"Nothing's wrong; it's just I don't wanna feel so trapped in our relationship, I want some freedom, you know?"

I felt trapped, and yet she never considered how I felt. I was tempted to say this, but kept my cool, knowing if I took a jab at her, it would all fall apart. I was doing everything I could, and guilt was pooling in my stomach little by little.

Finally, she lets me rub her shoulder.

"I've been giving you all the freedom you want. You've been out every night with him, and I only started to ask you about it today."

No reply, her mouth stays shut. She shudders, picking up a picture frame and staring at it, "I'm sorry, I'm just confused as to why I can't be like that with someone who I know to be my best friend."

"Like I said, hugging is okay. But kissing on the forehead and cheek, you guys have only known each other for nine months," I take a deep breath, then let go of her shoulder. "I can understand if you've known him since childhood, but nine months? Not to mention the touching I caught you two doing at school yesterday, best friends don't do that either."

Suddenly, the words that shook me to the very core of my heart were spoken from her mouth.

"I can't do this. I'm sorry, but he hasn't really been just a best friend."

So sudden. It was as if a train hit me, and it's not stopping, preventing me from even moving.

I stand up carefully, trying to process the words slowly, denying that what she said was true, "What do you mean?"

"I've been seeing him behind your back," She lets out, burying her face in her hands.

Taking a deep breath, I kneel down in front of her and move her hands away from her face. I start wiping down her tears, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I didn't know what to do! I didn't want to hurt you, nor did I want to break up. The thing we have is so perfect," She bawls even more as I wipe her tears.

My body shakes. My hands, and feet are gradually becoming colder. "If what we had was so perfect, then why'd you do it?" My voice cracks, trying to hold in bitter tears from escaping my eyes.

"I lost love, but I didn't want to waste what we had," She falls into my arms, and starts to cry on my shoulder.

"I forgive you," tears rush down my face, escaping my eyes fast. "I'll forgive you a million times over; I don't care."

"You'd still want to stay with me after all this?" She asks, looking me straight in the eye.

"Of course, like anything else, we can work this out, even now I trust you one hundred per cent," I flash her a fake smile, wiping the few tears falling off my face.

Inside I was breaking. How could she do this? Was what I did for her not enough? Despite everything happening all at once, I promised myself to become a better person for her. If she wanted me to change, I would. I would do practically anything for her.

"I'm sorry, Andre. But I can't," Indigo pushes my body away from hers. "Not anymore."

"What--"

"I've been seeing him since December, at first he was just a friend, but throughout the year he's given me a love that you could never give me, I want him more than you," She rises from the couch.

I inhale slowly, swallowing hard to stop myself from sobbing and stuttering, "After all we've been through? Do you just want to throw away two years? We've literally been through more than you and 'your best friend' have gone through."

"As I said, he's given me the love that you could never possibly give me," She scoffs and turns away from me.

"I can change, please don't do this," I desperately grab onto her arm. "I can change into someone you'll love. You can tell me what you want me to do, please!"

"That's the thing, Andre," She sighs heavily. "He doesn't even have to ask what I want, because he already knows."

"Please! Please, I can't lose you, we need each other," I start to cry uncontrollably and beg for her to stay. "We're made for each other, why can't you see that now, as you saw it before?"

She jerks her head back to me, "And right now, I see that you weren't the person made for me, it's him."

In a fit of anger, I jolt up and yell, "He's done nothing for you! This is complete bullshit you feel like this! I've given you more than anyone has ever had!"

Shutting her eyes, she pivots back away from me, "It wasn't enough. Explain why I stopped loving you a long time ago then."

"That's on you," I sniffle, and move towards the door. "If you felt like I wasn't enough, then you should have left me in December."

"Like I said," She pauses. "I pitied you. What we had was magical."

"Then why--"

"Stop asking why. I've explained enough. I didn't want to waste what we had!" She screams, then bolts towards the door.

She opens it, then shoves me out, "I'm sorry, Andre. I don't want you in my life anymore; I realize now that the thing we had was only a stepping stone for what he and I have now. Goodbye."

"Please--"

"I understand that you do genuinely forgive me, but that won't be enough, you don't give me enough. Now leave." She bitterly forces me out of the house.

I try to fight my way back into the house with a clear plan of winning her over. I needed her back, please this couldn't be happening. My mind raced through every possibility, and every way, I could get her back, begging on my knees, pleading with her, anything!

I didn't even care about the fact that they've kissed, hugged, touched, and possibly even more than that. I just wanted her. The love I had for her was so strong that, to me, even cheating wouldn't be enough to break us apart. Only this time, she did. I did everything I could before to prevent a breakup; I sacrificed so much for this girl, it's incomprehensible how much I've given up for her.

In the blink of an eye, the door suddenly slams into my face, which sent a wave of pain straight down my nose. The impact sent me flying back towards the ground. As I fell and collided with the concrete, I heard and felt a sudden crack in my arm, and a sharp pain on my pinkie.

My vision was blurry, most likely from being slammed in the head by a door. Groaning in pain, I shake my head frantically to adjust my view and come to a frightening realization. 

In the span of one second, I was able to see the damage done to my arm and finger. To my horror, my pinkie was bent over backwards, and I notice my arm badly broken just below my wrist. I clutch my arm in my other hand, wincing at the pain.

I didn't know what hurt more, the door literally slamming in my face, which caused a broken finger or the break up that just occurred.

I thought I could control the situation, just I had before with other arguments, all ending in forgiveness towards one another. But today marked the day. I couldn't do it.

Noticing her looking through the window, knowing what physical harm she did to me, she didn't even come to help. She just closed her blinds.

I stand up shakily, still clasping my broken arm. A sudden force makes my head feel heavy. It hurt so bad. I couldn't let out tears, for the shock of the moment flooded my thoughts, numbed my senses. My heart broke more than my pinkie, however. Look, I know it's just a finger and a broken arm, but the pain was excruciatingly unbearable for both my arm and heart.

I got the strength to let go of it, only to have it start to throb and send waves of pain throughout my whole hand.

"Fuck," My voice trembles in pain. I take out my phone with my opposite hand to call Miguel to come to get me. An overbearing weight felt like it was put upon my shoulders. I take a seat on the sidewalk, waiting motionless, staring down the road, for Miguel to arrive.

(July. 7, 2019)

"Even to this day, I'd trust her with my life," My head tucks against Skye's stomach, facing away from her as I was laying down on her thighs. I curse loudly, the endless stream of tears dampening her denim skirt. "I forgive her; I've forgiven her every day since then. But the pain she made me feel still sits with me, that I cannot get over."

The redhead just sits there silently, stroking the back of my head soothingly.

"Shhh... It's okay," Skye says softly, the tone in her voice quieting my thoughts and emotions. "Let it out. You're doing great."

"A part of me wants to hate her, you know, for breaking me the way she did," I flip over and notice Skye looking down at me with sad eyes, and a huge frown. "But, I know that it's the right thing to do to forgive her."

Skye carefully lays my head down onto the couch and gets up. Stepping forward, her arm curls, and she has a hand brushing her chin. Her pale skin on the back of her neck was tinged dark red like she was a volcano about to erupt. 

She turns around, red in the face, her eyebrows furrowing, and her lips twitching.

Skye growls angrily, "How could she do that to someone like you?"

I sigh, completely understanding exactly how she feels. My friends reacted the same.

"How could your parents do the things they do to someone like you?"

She tries to speak, her mouth opening half-way, then suddenly stopping. Dejected, Skye stutters attempting to find the words, but couldn't seem to say anything to answer my question.

"Because I'm a mistake! They know I'm a mistake!" She yells out, her hands gripping tightly at her scalp. "I'm not the daughter they want me to be! It's always about them, and I can't give them the shit they want! I'm a fucking mistake."

I'm in shock, just sitting there as Skye insults herself. I bet it's what her parents made her think, she was no mistake, from the moment I laid my eyes on her, she was no mistake. She turned out beautiful, and I could tell she had a sense of confidence simmering inside her waiting to come out, waiting for a chance to show itself, but it can't. Because her parents put lies in her head and made her feel as if she owed them something, owed them the daughter they wanted when in reality, any parent should love their kid no matter who they become.

She throws her arms up in the air in anger and frustration, repeatedly hitting her forehead with a closed fist.

"Skye, please calm down," I lower my voice, almost into a whisper. "Skye-"

"Forget about me for one Goddamn second!" Skye shouts, running a hand smoothly through her red hair. She paces back and forth frantically. "How could she have let go of someone as sweet as you? As-- Goddamnit, she let go of someone that was entirely good! And you think it's your fault she left you? It's her own damn fault."

"Well, for one thing, you haven't known me for that long, so she may have found something she didn't like about me," I answer apathetically, sitting up from the couch.

It's how I feel. Maybe I did do something wrong or was doing something wrong, and she just didn't have the heart to tell me. I'm still searching inside myself to find what was wrong with me, and all I'm seeing is broken pieces of my old self. I wish she were here, not Indigo, but the girl who taught me how to be me, how to find me. I was lost right now, but being here with Skye, it gives me motivation because I could tell she was trying to find herself too.

"And for another thing, Andre," In a fit of fury, she knocks over the piano stool in front of the keyboard. "What you found was someone who didn't understand what love meant."

I want to calm her down. I stand up straight and try to approach her.

"Skye, wait—"

"I'm still trying to find out what love means and what it means to love someone, but holy fuck," Skye grits her teeth, her face still red with rage. "She obviously didn't see how special you were!"

I stagger back into the cushions of the couch, concerned about what Skye was feeling. 

I've never seen her so angry, so filled with rage over one silly thing that happened to a friend she barely knew. It's apparent her emotions were strong, especially considering her past experiences with people were abandonment and abuse. She's empathizing with me, which is comforting; it made me feel safer about dealing with my problems. I wasn't the only one who felt like this anymore. Of course, Skye has experienced even more fucked up shit than I have, but still, she understood. More than anyone.

"Skye, calm down, please—"

"If she had just fucking realized what she had was special, you wouldn't have to be in this situation at all," Skye puffs, interrupting me, her breath jagged and uneven. She crosses her arms and leans against the railings in my living room, overlooking the front door and the stairs to the basement.

I sigh deeply, looking at the curves in her hips. She appears to have calmed down, her eyes falling, and her face transforming into a remorseful gaze as she finally catches my eye.

I swallow hard, trying to fight back more tears.

"Then I wouldn't have met you," I almost hesitate to mutter this aloud to her.

Skye stops and thinks for a moment, eyebrows furrowing, but no words. She wants to say something, but she's holding back again. I shrug it off. 

That story seemed to have a substantial effect on her; she was more on edge after hearing my story than after she told me hers.

"Calm down. For now, it's safe to say that you're in a much worse condition than I am," I say with a tiny grin. I stand up and walk over to her and stroke her soft cheek. "I feel like my mind is just overreacting,"

"A lot of things trigger anxiety attacks, Andre. This is obviously one of them," Skye replies, gripping onto my free hand. "You said you were over her, yes?"

I nod.

"It might be PTSD," Skye mumbles.

Might be? It is. Though, it's such a stupid way of getting it — a fucking breakup. And when I think about it, it triggers something in my head, like a switch flicking on and off. It's controlling me. I can't believe I'm feeling like this because of a breakup, and it wasn't even just the rejection. The pain in all levels of physical and mental and emotional, I felt that all. I was abandoned, and I'm afraid to be abandoned. 

The nightmares come back every night, about my friends leaving me. It was a bomb waiting to go off, it just needed a spark, and the spark came every few moments.

My pinkie was unbearably painful that day, the procedure to fix it required them to set it back, and it wouldn't budge for what seemed like hours. Then after, I needed surgery, the knuckle in my pinkie was dislocated. I had a finger brace to recover. Standard stuff only had it for approximately six weeks. 

Now my pinkie looks normal at first glance, but it doesn't pop back properly after curling my other fingers. There's a small delay, and it curves at the top, so it doesn't perfectly align with my fingers on either hand.

As for my arm, it was a simple cast. The only problem was that I had to get my pinkie fixed first. And when they did set it back, the cast I had on had to be removed the next day to compensate for the surgery. Now my left arm has this sort of bend on it from the top down just below my wrist.

It's okay to move now but I can't fully rotate my wrist, not that I needed to anyway.

The sudden pain all at once, though, including my heart breaking into a million pieces, triggered all I would feel today. Feeling physical, emotional, and psychological pain all at once just does something to your mental. It overwhelms you profoundly, you're virtually powerless until the moment passes, and even then, you still feel the same way.

I gulp with difficulty; there was a lump of air blocking my throat, "I need air, do you want to walk to Marjorie's?"

I feel Skye's soft-touch cup my face, her finger brushing kindly across my skin, "Let me see your pinkie first. I bet it looks dope."

"That's not exactly the word I'd use," I chuckle awkwardly. I lift my left hand with a simper. "It wasn't that bad; it ain't no big deal."

Skye smirks, lightly poking at my abnormal-looking pinkie, "What a tough guy we have here."

"The toughest there is. A fucking pinkie injury," Despite my condition, I smile the widest smile since May. It's something anyone would do when a person like Skye joins you through the journey called life. "Thanks for listening to me, Skye."

"Thanks for listening to me," She says, biting her lip, slightly tilting her head to the side.

In my dismay, Skye let go of me, stepping back and just staring at me with a purpose in her eyes. 

"I'm gonna go change," I apprehensively break eye-contact, slowly limping towards my room.

"I'll wait here," Skye wanders towards the stairs leading to the front door. "Get my lipstick, too; it's in my bag."

With a nod, I rush into my room. I hop into my jeans and slide on my favourite pink hoodie over my shirt. It has my last name on the back and everything, it's pretty cool. Just before leaving the bedroom, I pop open and dip my finger inside a jar of hair-cream, applying it and fixing my hair delicately. After my hair looks somewhat presentable, I dig inside Skye's bag. My hand rummages loosely, finally feeling something cylindrical brush against my fingertip. I pull my arm out of her bag and gleam at the sight of her lipstick.

Upon opening the door, Skye glances over her shoulder while sitting on the stairs waiting for me. I toss her the lipstick, and she catches it with precision.

"Thanks," She says with a blank expression on her face, carefully applying her lipstick while looking at herself with her phone's camera. "All done."

I feel my cheeks start to swell. I marvel at her for a little longer before clearing my throat.

"You're stunning," I lean against the wall, not allowing my eyes to leave her face.

Her face lights up, beginning to blush furiously as she puckers her lips.

"Flirting with me again, I see," Skye says dryly. "Tell your brother; we're leaving."

I turn around and call out to my brother, "Adying! We're going somewhere! Housekeys, please!"

Adrian runs out of his room and hands me the house keys.

I wave at him, making my way to the front and opening the door for Skye, "After you, m'lady."

"Such a gentleman," She smiles, her face still flushed a light pink. "And also cheesy, don't call me that."

As she leaves, I lift two fingers to her forehead and poke it lightly. She furrows her eyebrows, rubbing her forehead. "Is that gonna be your thing with me now?"

"Yes, and there's nothing you can do to make me stop," I wink, then poke her forehead again.

Skye rolls her eyes, playfully, "Lead the way, I don't know how to get to Marjorie's house from here."

Despite vowing to myself never to tell that story again, I did it. And it hurts just as bad telling it than thinking of it. Apart of me just wanted to curl up into a corner and stay locked inside my room. 

Telling that story, even thinking of it, will never ever become easy. Even with Skye at my house, I just felt trapped inside myself again. I hate how this is what drives everything that's wrong with my life now; I wasn't like this before.

After that breakup, the thought of her not being there for me anymore scared me. The idea of being alone for most of the day scared me. The reason for my successes in life starting from the ninth grade was her, all my achievements, she was always there. And now that she was gone, I feel like I wouldn't be able to get anywhere moving forward anymore. You know, it's gotten to the point where simply not speaking to that someone you cared for every day hurts.

Even with my friends and family there supporting me, the deciding factor will be if I, myself, believe in me again. If anyone of them could help me find the confidence I once had in my life, before the breakup, I'd be in good shape in no time.

It's hard to realize now that this is my own journey, and the help I get is limited. It's all about if I can find the strength to move on, to get rid of my inner thoughts and feelings, and becoming Andre Macatangay again, the one before all of this.

My chances were honestly slim. I seem ungrateful for how much my friends have supported me, but it's not like that. If they weren't with me now, I'd be in a hole too deep for anyone to dig me out of.

"Hey!" A sudden, soft voice broke me out of my own thoughts. "Slowpoke, hurry up."

Just then, I notice her. Skye gazes at my face, and smiles tenderly, despite herself. I start to realize that maybe the person I needed was the girl standing right in front of me at this very moment. It was too early to tell if she was, though, I shouldn't get too ahead of myself.

I clear my throat, then lace my fingers around hers and smile back.

"Let's go."


	16. One Thing

Marjorie's POV

I see Andre and Skye inching closer to the driveway. Skye weakly smiles at me, her lip barely curling at me. Despite himself, Andre didn't, which causes me to worry. Opening the door, I notice in the corner of my eye; they were holding hands.

"Wow," I cross my arms, then raise an eyebrow towards Skye. "That was fast."

She casually lets go of his hand as if nothing happened, her face flushed in bright red.

"That was nothing. It's not a big deal," Skye brings her hands behind her, then sways back and forth uncomfortably.

"You guys have been very close," I bite my lip. "Love at first sight?"

Skye looks down at her toes, trying to conceal her embarrassment and her bright red cheeks.

"Do you have water? Skye and I have been thirsty the whole walk here," Andre shakes his head, his face barely showing any emotion.

It's unusual Andre was acting like this. He would have usually cracked a smile at me, even if something terrible did happen.

"Are you okay?" My head tilts, and my lips purses.

Andre avoids directly looking at me, his eyes fixated onto the concrete floor.

"I'm fine," He sighs before walking over to the lawn, taking a seat under the oak tree in front of my house.

I urgently motion for Skye to come inside the house.

Clearing my throat, I ask, "Could you give us a moment, Andre?"

He doesn't answer. Instead, he waves at us to go away, comfortably falling back into the grass to lay down.

Skye quickly steps into my house. I angrily slam the door shut, beginning to pace back and forth in front of her.

"Did he tell you the story?" My face heats up, furious over what she may have caused.

"Yeah," Skye replies leaning against the wall with a worried expression on her face.

"Did you ask him to tell it?" I frantically urge her to answer. "Skye!"

She stutters nervously, "Yeah, but I told him he didn't have too."

I snap, slamming my foot onto the floor. "I was only letting you know what the cause of his attack was, I didn't tell you to ask him!"

The sound of my stomp causes Skye to jump. She slowly recoils away from me, "I figured that you let me! In plus, I only read what you told me. Just to let him know what the cause was."

"He knows the damn reason why," I lean back into the door, sinking my face into my hands. "Skye, he's not- he was already struggling to find himself before, and now, he might be back at square one."

Cautiously and curiously, Skye leans forward, "Wait, what do you--"

"Every time he's told that story to someone, he wouldn't talk, wouldn't eat, wouldn't do anything! The pain that he felt that day haunts him," I cry out, slamming my head gently against the door. "He hates reliving it! He relives it every night."

Skye's eyebrow curls, bottom lip curving downwards. Her eyes, looking remorseful, as she stares at the window in the living room.

"I'm so sorry," She apologizes, rubbing her forehead just as I did.

I sigh heavily, the guilt settling in the pits of my stomach, "No, I'm sorry. I should have warned you before you brought it up to him. I didn't mean to yell at you."

"Marjorie, don't blame yourself, please," Andre's muffled voice was be heard through the door.

I hop up onto my feet, then swing the door open to let him in, "Don't blame yourself either, Skye," he says, looking over my shoulder.

The redhead strolls over to him, twiddling her thumbs, "If you knew it would hurt so bad telling me, why would you do it, anyway?"

"I owe you for two things," He smiles sadly. I know that smile isn't real. Andre's genuine smile was evident if you've ever seen it. This was just a weak attempt at a smile, a mask he tries to put on, but it never fools anyone. "I owe you for slow dancing with me and telling me your story."

"You don't owe me a thing; I was just playing around when I said that you owed me," Skye explains, her eyes apologetically looking into his. "Every time I help someone or do something for 'em, I don't ever expect anything in return."

Andre laughs softly, genuinely, "That makes both of us, I guess." He scratches his head nervously, his face showing clear signs that he was vulnerable, like a baby bear looking for his mom while vultures circle it up above.

I decide to let them talk it out, taking two steps into the kitchen and opening the fridge. I pour Skye and Andre both a glass of water, as they asked earlier.

I was screaming inside; it took us days trying to cheer Andre up. We got so worried over him, and we even forbade him to tell the story to someone no matter what conditions applied. After revealing that story, he was never the same. Miguel, Lance, and John usually are the closest to him when it comes to talking about what happened, but even then, we force them not to mention it whatsoever.

We're all scared he'll fall into some sort of depression. He already has anxiety from what's possibly PTSD, something he probably got from the experience of feeling all types of pains all at once. It shakes all of us up already, because before he was the happiest person in the whole world.

Andre right now still is happy, but we notice every time we see him, whether it's on Skype or in person, he becomes worse and worse. Andre's happiness is dwindling slowly. He continually stresses over helping us with whatever we need, so much so that we barely have time after to return the favour. He focuses on others too much before himself, and that's the reason why he can't journey through his mental issues alone, he barely has time to look at himself in the mirror to see the beautiful person he's become. He only sees the broken, pathetic person he was in May; he's blinded by the guilt he shouldn't have and the pain he doesn't deserve.

It's sad knowing your friend has a conflict within himself, and he barely even lets people help him because he would always help you first, with whatever you needed at whatever time.

We're all glad the critical traits of his personality stayed the same, his selflessness, his sense of humour, his empathy, and his stupid nicknames and jokes. But the essential characteristics that make him, Andre, is his kindness and happiness. If he loses those, we'll lose apart of ourselves too.

"Marjorie?" I snap out of my thoughts when Andre calls for me. "Water, po."

I shake my head, "Oh! I'm sorry! Here's your water." I hand over the glass of water to him, then watch him drink it in one gulp.

"What's that mean?" Skye looks at Andre, leaning her elbow against the cushions and her cheek against her palm. She barely takes a sip of her water before getting up and joining me in the kitchen.

"It's what you would call elders or people older than you in the Philippines," Andre explains. "It's a sign of respect."

"Even though he isn't older than me," My back slumps.

"Thanks for the water anyway," He sinks over to my couch, then lays down, disappearing behind the frame.

Skye rubs her bicep worriedly, looking at me with a haunted face.

"Did I fuck up?" She whispers.

I lament, stroking her hair comfortingly, "No, you didn't. He just seems lost right now."

"So, I did," Skye shudders as she retakes the glass of water. She swirls the glass in her hand. "You know, when I told him my whole story, Marjorie, it made me feel so protected."

My face perks up, "What do you mean?"

Skye bites her lip and sways awkwardly, her eyes dilating as she stood there, thinking.

"I mean it felt good just telling someone else, you know. Someone you know that will care for you. Someone who actually understands."

I jump onto the kitchen counter to sit, my eyes widening involuntarily.

"At least something good came out of today," I smile at her, sensing that she feels happy, it's probably the happiest she's felt in a long time. "So what? You planning to tell him more? You trust him?"

She shakes her head, considering my words carefully.

"I don't know. I've only just met the guy," Her voice shakes, hesitating, holding back. Her voice is a testament to what she had gone through, what she kept hidden for so long before meeting us, and leaving her old school for the summer. "What he told me earlier got me thinking, though."

"What'd he tell you?" My back sinks into the cupboards of the kitchen.

Skye crosses her arms, "He told me trusting him would take time, and that it was a leap of faith."

I hop off the kitchen counter, moving towards Skye to pat her shoulder comfortingly, "He's right. And I understand if you felt uncomfortable telling him about what's happened to you."

"Well, I was uncomfortable," She shoots me a sly grin. "Until he reassured me by telling me that, and as I said, I felt protected," Skye pauses. She turns away to try and hide the red tinge on her face.

I smirk, staring at her, suspiciously, "What else did you guys do?"

"Don't interrogate me," Skye marches off to the living room, still avoiding my gaze. "It's our secret."

"Was it the slow dancing Andre mentioned?" I ask, giving her a mischievous smile.

She chuckles, letting out a heavy breath. I could hear the stress releasing from her as she let out that sigh.

"Bingo."

I shrug and walk into the living room with her arm around her shoulders. We give each other a look when we see Andre lying on the couch, his face buried in his sleeves.

In the corner of my ear, I hear the familiar music of an incoming call on Skype. I march up the stairs leading into the room, then click the green button.

"M.J!" John cheers, raising his arms into the air.

Skye enters my bedroom and looks around for a moment before landing her eyes on the group call on the computer screen. She steps back, almost looking away from the computer screen, embarrassed, until she pulls out a stool from under my desk and places it beside me. She sits down and rests her chin on my shoulder, her hair dangling off the side of my arm.

"And Skye, too!" John cheers even louder and lets out a whoop. "How're you doing?"

Skye's head lifts as she hears her name being called. Her eyes seem to be looking at the wall instead of the screen.

"Hey. I'm fine," She answers, barely raising a hand up to wave.

"Hello there, Fine," John quips. "May I interest you in a movie?"

"No-"

"It's called 'Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo."

"What in the actual fuck?" Skye's eyes land on the computer screen. "What is that?"

"Google it," John replies blankly.

"Where's everyone else?" I ask, dragging Julianna and Lance's icons into the call.

John yawns, stretching his arms upward, "They'll be here eventually. Tagu went to grab some food."

"I'm here! I got pizza!" Tagu appears suddenly in the frame, stuffing her mouth full with a pizza slice.

Skye remains quiet, probably Googling John's ridiculous movie. I turn my head at her. Instead, she's peering out the doorway worriedly. She gets up, and I see her body disappear as she starts down the stairs into my living room.

Tagu's lips form a frown, thoughtfully watching Skye walk down the stairs as well, "Did she get uncomfortable from me eating?

"No! I think she's just checking on Andre," I reply, pointing my thumb at the open door behind me. "Or she just got so fed up with John that she left."

John clicks his tongue, "I didn't do anything bad."

"Well, it made her leave," Tagu counters apathetically.

"What? She's probably checking on Andre," John leans on his palm, eyes moving about then landing on me. "I'm guessing they walked to your house?"

I nod, "Yeah, they got here about twenty minutes ago."

As the conversation meanders from topic to topic, Andre and Skye come into my room. Andre jumps, and belly flops onto my bed, ruffling the newly applied bedsheets.

"Really?" Annoyed, my foot taps onto the floor, bringing my hands to my hips.

"Sorry, Marjorie, but every time I nap on this bed, it feels like heaven," Andre suspires delightfully and shuts his eyes.

My face twitches. His mood entirely changed from when he arrived.

"You feeling better?"

Andre's eyes wander over to mine, "Yeah, I'm getting there." He pushes his arms into the air, then starts to make shapes with his fingers. "You wanna have dinner at my place, Marjorie? I think my mom is cooking pork chops again."

My gaze switches to Skye's, who had a smug look planted on her face.

"I'll have to ask my parents when they get home," I reply to him, still dumbfoundedly staring at Skye. "I'll let you know."

"Sounds good!" He rushes over to my computer. "John! Tagu!"

The three of them start to conversate. I stand up, my eyes still not moving away from Skye.

I mouth, "What'd you do?"

She smirks and gestures me to step outside her room. I unwillingly did so and shut the door as we both enter the hallway.

"What? What'd you do to him that made him so happy?" I eyeball her in disbelief.

"I just told him a joke," Skye shrugs, looking at me blankly.

I feel a million needles stabbing at my body, "That's it? What kind of--"

"Shush!" She waves her hands frantically in front of me, looking slightly embarrassed. "I figure that if I tried something he wouldn't expect, it would make him laugh, and it did."

My face buries in my hands, "The five of us would usually take so long to at least even make him crack a small smile, let alone laugh!"

Skye shrugs instinctively, "He expected all mushy stuff would come out of my mouth. He thought wrong. Instead, he heard a stupid joke, which worked."

I groan and roll my eyes, "If someone suggested that when we were trying, we would have called them out for being stupid."

Skye bites her lip. "Expect the unexpected, I guess," she says dryly.

Scratching my eyes, I start to giggle myself, "Thank you so much, Skye."

"It's the least I could do. Especially when I almost fucked everything up for him," Skye awkwardly fiddles around with her fingers. "That joke was stupid; it wasn't even funny."

I snicker, "What joke did you tell him anyway? You make it sound bad, but it worked."

Skye hesitates for a moment, "Knock, Knock."

I murmur, "Really, a knock-knock joke? This better be good."

Skye clears her throat loudly, giving me a menacing look, " **Knock. Knock.** "

"Who's there?" My stomach starts to knot. This joke better be fucking good.

Skye shields her face, "Mikey."

"Mikey, who?"

"Mikey doesn't fit in the keyhole!" Despite herself, Skye holds onto her stomach, falling onto her knees in a fit of boisterous laughter. "OH, GOD. IT'S SO BAD."

I try to say something, "What-- Wha- wait--"

Warmth rises to my cheeks, and the urge to laugh slips into my gut. I couldn't bear it any longer, holding my stomach and kneeling down.

Soon, both of us were on the floor, shrieking, roaring like complete idiots, "Skye, you were right. That was so bad!"

Skye's laughter doesn't subside as she rolls onto her back, kicking her small legs into the air, "Then why– why are you laughing?"

My abdomen begins to feel sore, small tears fall out of my eyes, "I'm laughing cause' you're laughing!"

Just then, the door swings open, and I feel someone's foot slide across my leg.

"What the hell?" I scream, the laughing disappearing entirely.

I see Andre falling fast, but not on me. On Skye.

"Oof!"

"Ouch!" Skye grunts in pain, her snickering ceasing. "What's the big idea?"

I quickly get up onto my feet and groan, "Andre! Watch where you're going-- SHIT."

Andre had landed directly on top of Skye, their faces literally centimeters away from each other. Butterflies flap their wings in my stomach. This was such a picture-perfect moment, holy shit.

I jokingly drop down onto my stomach and lie down next to them. Both Andre and Skye looked like a pair of deer in headlights; eyes widened, their faces fiercely burning red.

Andre's lips form a sly grin, biting his lip enticingly, "This isn't so bad."

Skye's small body shifted uncomfortably in an attempt to leave, but it was apparent she couldn't squirm away from under Andre's body. She's too fixated on the look he was giving her, I can't tell if she's embarrassed or if she likes being there.

Skye calms down and seems to let herself cozy under Andre's body and arms.

"Don't look at me like that," Skye shivers, stuttering profusely.

Their foreheads were barely touching. Her dark blue eyes try avoiding Andre's dreamy gaze, but she keeps letting her eyes wander back.

"Hey, there," Andre shudders, his chocolate eyes glimmering.

Skye closes one eye, her face in a state of shock. Her tiny fingers made their way onto Andre's shoulders, "You're squishing me!"

"Let it happen," The boy takes off his glasses. "Feeling your heartbeat feels kinda nice."

Annoyed and uncomfortable, Skye scoffs, "Why would you say something like that?"

Andre shrugs, both of them looking ponderously at one another.

"Please, get off," Skye stutters, her body stiffens and her face jerks. "I'm not saying you're heavy, but you're pressing down on me really hard here, pal."

"Awww," Andre faintly cocks his head back. "For a second there, I thought you felt cozy being here."

The redhead shrugs, "I guess you'll never know if I was. I'd have to kill you if you found out."

"It'd be worth it," Andre smirked, leaning his head closer to hers. "Very worth."

Her dark blue eyes explore Andre's eyes longer. Something inside me senses they might kiss in a few seconds. She looks dazed beyond repair.

Andre, on the other hand, his eyes flirting with her mentally, his grin enticing her to lean in with him.

He leans his forehead in; their lips were so close together; they're mere breaths away from each other.

I watch in anticipation while lying down next to them on the floor. My teeth start to clench.

"Don't kiss, you two just met."

Both of them turn their heads to me and gasp. With a shocked face, Andre plants his hands onto the floor next to Skye's head, then pushes himself up off, still red in the face and panting.

"Why were you two laughing on the floor in the first place?" He asks, trying to catch his breath, telling me with his eyes that I had just ruined the moment.

I walk back into my room, "Why did you recklessly just walk out?"

"Maybe 'cause I heard you two laughing, Marjorie," Andre argues, sitting against the wall in the hallway.

"Don't get so angry, Macatangay," I subtly wink at him. "Besides, it seems to me that you didn't mind what just happened."

Skye dusts herself off, and her voice shakes as she speaks, "Cut it out, Marjorie." Her glance meets the computer screen. She nervously asks, "Did they see that?"

"Yeah, we did," Julianna announces, blowing into a party horn. They had been watching from the Skype call. "That was a sight to be seen, indeed."

"That was cute," Tagu adds, bursting out into little giggles. "Too cute."

"It's strange hearing you compliment me, Tagu," Andre chuckles, getting up to enter the room.

Tagu adjusts her glasses and snarls, "Not you, hoe. Skye."

Skye lets out a cough, "Thanks?"

Andre sighs dejectedly, "Aight, be like that, then."

"You're horny for her, Andre," John sneers, trying to hold in his own amusement. "Hehe, ee eer ee eer."

"Dude, shut up," Andre glares at John, hiding his smile, covering his mouth with his hand. "Stop!"

Miguel leans forward in his chair, "Andre being horny isn't a surprise anyway."

Andre turns his head to Miguel's webcam bubble, "I don't remember a single moment where I asked you."

"So, you have been horny," Miguel counters, mockingly pointing through the webcam.

Skye takes a seat on the stool behind me. She was hiding her face behind my shoulder, but a sliver of red could be seen on the edges of her cheeks, "You guys are so weird."

"Get used to it, Skye-with-an-e," Andre pokes her forehead affectionately. "Being weird around you is a sign we love you already."

Everyone agrees, then starts to chant Skye's name, which caused her to bury her face inside her shirt.

"Love?" Muffled, she pleads, "Stop. Now. Please."

As the laughing diminishes, we all notice Nick joined the call, "You guys didn't tell me there was a call session."

My heart flutters, Julianna snorts, "Marjorie missed you."

"Quiet, you!" I cry out, covering the webcam lens with my finger

"Sucks for you, Nicky," Lance smirks. "You just missed something hilarious."

John and Julianna both explain to Nick the events that just occurred earlier in the hallway.

Nick frowns and frustratingly throws his hands up into the air, "You guys could have added me, or something!"

"Well, you didn't pick up the first, what? Four times?" Miguel replies, grinning at the computer screen, "Your loss, pal."

Nick slumps into his chair, sinking to the floor. We all start to giggle as we hear him screaming from the ground, out of the frame.

Skye just shook her head, "Like I said, weird."

The afternoon flies by, all of us having time to talk and tell stories, and even Skye joins in on the talking. We were in the middle of a game of never have I ever when suddenly, Andre received a call.

"My parents are home," Andre stands up from the stool. "I'm gonna walk back. I'll use their car to drop your clothes off here." He gestures to Skye with a finger gun.

"Do you want me to come with you?" She asks, sounding slightly concerned.

Andre smiles, thoughtfully at Skye, "Nah, stay here. You've done enough walking."

"It's a long walk though, I don't want you going alone," Skye raises her foot onto the stool and hugs her knee. "You sure?"

"I'm fine," Andre cracks his knuckles before walking through my bedroom door. "Besides, the chances of me getting jumped, mugged, or killed are slim. This is a busy street."

Skye smiles kindly and nods, "Tell your parents; thank you for letting me stay the night."

Andre flashes her a pair of finger guns, "You still don't wanna stay for dinner? We'd love to have you."

"Don't eat me, please. I'm still so young," Skye laughs at herself, inciting Andre to laugh along with her. "Seriously, if Marjorie goes, I'll go."

I yawn, "I think I'm gonna have to pass tonight, Andre. I had dinner with you guys last week."

"I'll see you guys later then," Andre gets to the bottom of the stairs. "Lock the door!"

The door slams shut, and Skye scurries over to lock it.

As Skye enters into my room again, the front door suddenly opens with a creek.

"Marjorie!"

It was my mom.

"You met my mom, right?" I squint at Skye, who was lying down on my bed.

"Yeah, yesterday," Skye buries her face in a pillow, shifting her face slightly to the right and looks out the window.

I stand up from my office chair and lean against my computer desk, "I'll be right back."

Skye's POV

Marjorie leaves the room to greet her mom, shutting the door behind her. I roll off the bed and tiptoe my way over to the computer. I hesitantly peer at the screen.

With a deep breath, I recollect my thoughts and calmly walk in front of the webcam.

"Hey, guys," I let myself fall into the office chair, starting to spin around in it.

"Hi, Skye," Julianna clicks away on her keyboard, not even bothering to look at me. "Are you okay?"

"No," I dizzily stop the chair from rotating, shaking my head to adjust my vision. "I have phone anxiety. Or, in this case, call anxiety. Being in this Skype call by myself is somewhat difficult."

I brace myself. I didn't know how they would react to that revelation. I'm only spinning in place, so I don't have to look directly at them, and so I could talk without feeling so claustrophobic. When I'm on the phone, walls close in on me, and I feel trapped.

To my surprise, Julianna just nods casually.

"Aww," Julianna finally shifts her attention to me. "You can end if you want and wait for Marjorie to come back."

"Nah," I answer, calming down a little bit, admittedly relieved at her response. "I'll have to get over it eventually. Thanks for understanding, though."

Julianna salutes, and afterward, continues to mind her own business again.

Everybody seems so busy, but they stay in the call, anyway. Tagu and Miguel weren't even in their rooms, just empty chairs in the frames of their screens. Lance and Julianna were probably messaging each other in a private chat. Nick, focusing on his video game, and Marjorie is in the kitchen. I guess they liked the company; it was as if they were with each other that way, even though it was through a screen.

Looming boredom descends upon me, as I just sit there playing around with Skype Emojis to keep distracting myself.

John plays around with me for a bit, making what looks to be male genitalia with a bunch of eggplant emojis.

"Seriously?"

John chuckles to himself, "It's what Andre would have done if he were here. We'd do this for hours."

"What? Making dicks?" I reply, my nose scrunching.

"Yes," John jokes, waving his hands. I think he's shaking his hands, at least. "I'm kidding, we just make pictures with the emojis, it's fun when you get the hang of it."

Time passes by, and soon, it's 8:00 PM - no sign of Andre returning here with my clothes while Marjorie is just starting to help her mom with dinner. My stomach grumbles as I smell the aroma of the food they're cooking.

It smells foreign, not to be rude or anything, but it's a very distinct, rich smell. The dinner they cooked last time I was here was amazing. Eating Asian, mostly Filipino cuisine, is truly an experience.

My phone buzzes on my lap. I grab it and notice it was a text from Andre.

_Andre: Come outside!_

_Skye: Took you long enough._

_Andre: Why didn't you answer your phone when I tried calling you?_

_Skye: I disabled_ _phone calls._

_Andre: Why?_

A loud knock on the front door startles me out of my seat, "I got it!" I yell, bustling towards the front door.

I swing it open and see Andre sitting on the front steps of the house, "I have phone calls disabled because I have phone anxiety."

His eyes meet mine, looking down slightly, "Oh, I'm sorry then."

"It's fine, you wouldn't have known," I shut the door before taking a seat beside him. "How was the walk back?"

"Boring," Andre leans his elbows against the edge of the steps. "Should have taken you with me."

I feel the warmth rising into my chest, a heat-only he made me feel.

"Oh! I... Nevermind.'

My bag of clothes was situated next to his foot. I reach over his legs to snag the handles of my luggage and grin at him thankfully.

"Before I go home," Andre beams, reaching in his sweater pocket to retrieve something. "I found these in my grandma's old box of stuff. I want you to have them."

Andre stares at me thoughtfully, clutching a black necklace and bracelet in his hands.

My eyes widen at the sight of the two items, "Oh my god, they're so pretty! Does your grandma not wear this anymore?"

I stare, gawking at the black necklace and bracelet.

"She told Adrian and me, we could have whatever she put in the box," Andre shrugs, still holding them out in front of me.

"Where is she? Are you sure you can give this to me?" I ask, uncertain about accepting his gifts.

"She's on vacation in the Philippines right now," Andre explains. "She also told us that we could do whatever we wanted with the stuff, just as long it was for something good."

Andre nimbly grabs onto my hand and applies the bracelet onto my left wrist. He crawls up the remaining steps and crouches down behind me.

"I looked at them, and your face clicked inside my head," His warm breath hit the back of my head. "They go well with your fashion style and aesthetic."

I feel goosebumps forming along my arms and chills traveling down my spine when I feel his hands skim the sides of my neck. He carefully snakes the necklace around my neck; then, I hear the sounds of it clipping together.

I turn to face him, still uncertain about keeping them, "They're beautiful, Andre, but I can't possibly take them. I bet they're vintage."

His head slightly cocks to the side, "...And since they're so vintage, I want you to promise me to wear them every day."

I fall silent, the same heat still not leaving my chest, only now, more heat was rising into it, like the sun ascending through my body.

"I promise."

Reluctantly, I wrap my arms around him, and I feel his arms bundle around my body. He tightens the hug gently. I feel his heartbeat against mine. The butterflies came back, flying around in my stomach freely.

"I feel your heartbeat, too."

"Oh, save it, you flatterer," Andre chuckles.

What a way to ruin the moment.

He pulls away all too soon and pulls out his phone. He turns on his phone's camera to let me look at myself wearing the necklace.

"They suit you a lot, Skye," Andre places a finger softly onto the necklace. "Especially this."

My lip curls up into a tiny grin, then brush my hair aside to see how the necklace looks on me, "Thank you for this. Thank you for everything you've done today."

"No," He sighs deeply, rising to his feet. "Thank you."

Andre pokes my forehead, looking perfectly content, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

I nod my head rapidly, my heartbeat quickening, "I guess you will."

"Sounds great. Be as late as you want," Andre laces his fingers in mine, before walking back to the car.

I wave goodbye, as he does. The engine starts, then he reverses out of the driveway. Before hitting the road back to his house, he honks the horn loudly, which causes me to giggle and wave again. I see the faint shape of his hand swaying back and forth through the window. Satisfied, I adjust the bracelet on my wrist, before entering the house.

As I step inside the house, I lock the door behind me. I glance down at my bracelet and caress the necklace around my neck. Satisfied, I make my way back to the room and return to the Skype call with Marjorie.

_I promise_


	17. A Matter of Trust

July. 8, 2019

Skye's POV

The sound of someone fidgeting around the guest room awakens me. I groan, pushing my phone off my face. I must have fallen asleep using my phone, I suppose, but I can't recall what exact time I did fall asleep.

My eyes adjust to the bright rays of the sun shining through the windows, all the dust particles moving about through and out of the streams of light. I look over to the right and see Marjorie scavenging around the room hastily.

"Good morning," I yawn, stretching my arms out.

Marjorie smirks and glances over her shoulder, "More like good afternoon."

I raise my eyebrows in confusion. I stare at her blankly, waiting for her to say something.

"I said, good afternoon," Marjorie furrows her eyebrows, probably wondering why the hell I was staring at her so funny. "Why do you look confused?"

"Afternoon?" I question Marjorie as she has her arms outstretched above her, searching for something in the closet. "Did you say afternoon?"

"Yeah," Marjorie laughs. "It's two o'clock."

"Did you say two? Please tell me you're lying," I straighten up from the bed, slightly panicked. I peep over to the clock above the door frame. "Oh, shit, I overslept!"

I scurry over to my bag of clothes, picking out a fresh new outfit and scamper to Marjorie's bathroom to take a quick shower.

Part of the reason I overslept that much was partly my fault. I figure I fell asleep at about four or five-thirty last night (or the morning of). 

If I can recollect what I was doing, I think I was texting Andre. He practically forced himself to stay awake for me because I couldn't sleep.

Not that Marjorie's home wasn't comfortable, or the bed wasn't soft enough; her room felt more like home to me than where I do live, but I just stayed up all night restless. I had the company from Andre, but had I not talked to anyone. I probably would've been prey to the painful thoughts and memories I try to suppress every day. There were glimpses of them here and there, but the distraction from him helped it ease and wash away.

He wasn't just a distraction; he was a friend who actually understood my emotions, that if I had a year ago, I wouldn't be such mess right now. If I had Andre and Marjorie and all of them instead of the people Fate so stupidly put in my path, I wouldn't be as broken as hesitant with others.

Stepping out of the shower, I dry off with a towel. The steam had fogged up the mirror, so I grabbed a paper towel from a holder near the toilet to clear the glass for me to see.

Luckily, it didn't smear as much as I thought it would. My face is entirely in view as for the rest of myself was only a blur on the misty mirror.

I slip into my clothes. I decide to wear black ripped denim jeans with a belt and fishnet tights. In addition to that, I put on a black tank top and a purple, black, and red flannel. I apply my lipstick carefully and clip on the bracelet and necklace that was given to me yesterday.

I brush my teeth then finally leave the bathroom. 

Walking into the living room, Marjorie calls me over to sit beside her on the couch.

Marjorie is wearing ripped blue jeans and a Nike windbreaker. She looks ready to go out. She glances over to me as I walk down the stairs into the living room.

"You look pretty," Marjorie winks and checks me out. "I'm straight, don't worry."

Oh, yeah right.

I tuck my hair behind my ear, restlessly, "Thanks."

Marjorie shrugs, "Out of all the people I know, you're the only one that can pull off the goth look."

I fight to wipe the grin forming on my face, "Oh, please."

Marjorie laughs, "Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to eat out with Lance, Julianna, and I. They're coming in about an hour or so."

"I have nothing else better to do," I think for a moment and sink into the couch. "Sure."

She brings her hands to her hips, "Excuse you, my house has a lot of things that can keep you occupied."

"Oh yeah?" I cross my arms. "Like what?

"Minecraft on my computer!" Marjorie laughs, hitting the couch with one of her hands. "Minecraft!"

"On second thought, I'm gonna have to stay here," I suggest, sarcastically.

"You ever gonna laugh at my jokes?" Marjorie asked with a frown. "I laughed at yours. And you laugh at John and Andre's."

"No. I laugh because it makes them feel good about themselves."

"Ouch," Marjorie put a hand on her chest. "Ouch for me too!"

"Sorry," I smirk, then start to look around the room.

Among the family pictures and other living room decoration, my eyes veer toward the piano. It was tucked against the wall next to the Television near the window.

Marjorie keeps staring at me, and I admit, I begin feeling a tad uncomfortable.

She squints, "Don't worry, I'm just trynna figure out what else looks great with your outfit."

"I think I'm fine."

She shakes her head, "Wait here."

Marjorie disappears in her room, and comes back mere seconds later, holding a grey beanie in her hand.

She tucks it onto my head, making sure my hair doesn't end up a mess.

Stepping back, she rubs her chin and tilts her head.

"Perfect," She smiles. "If I gave you glasses, you'd look more hipster than goth."

I look to the mirror next to me up against the wall next to the T.V. I suck in my lips, nodding at myself.

It wasn't that bad, actually.

"I guess this works," I shrug, giving her a half-grin and getting up, still fixated on the piano.

Walking over to it, I take a seat onto the piano stool and press a random key.

"Hm. I haven't tickled the ivories in a while."

"You play the piano?" Marjorie asks happily.

"Eh, somewhat," I continue pressing random, individual notes. "This is a nice piano."

"It's a bit old," Marjorie added. "I'm surprised it sounds decent and tuned."

I press a black key. If I can remember, it's a G#. It makes an almost squeaky sound, but the G# still shines out.

"Untuned," I gesture to the key, continuously pressing it.

Marjorie grunts, licking her lips, "I don't know how to tune a piano."

She actually makes me chuckle a bit, but it was too quiet for her even to hear me, "Me neither."

My small fingers spread onto the keys of the piano, "If I do stay here, I have this to keep me occupied too,"

I start to play a random piece I learned back in middle school, and my days at the University of Saskatchewan. 

"That sounds... quite lovely, actually," Marjorie slumps into the couch, "Are you actually gonna stay here?"

I snort and continue playing, "No, I'm hungry as fuck."

Marjorie beams as she watches me from over my shoulder, and soon we took turns playing random songs together.

A little while later, we got bored, opting to have a conversation about school and instruments to let the hour pass by. 

Suddenly, the sound of a horn honking outside the house alerts us both.

We quickly pile out of the house and enter Lance's car. We all greet each other before he drives off.

"How's our favourite arsonist doing?" Lance asks, adjusting his mirror to face me.

I flash him a tiny smile, "I'm doing good. I'm also thinking about lighting this car on fire."

"I certainly hope you do," Lance giggles. "I'm getting this piece of junk replaced once the school year starts. Well, for me, at least."

I slip earphones in my ear and start to listen to my music. The car stays quiet as Lance continues to drive down the road, conversating with the other two girls.

Julianna turns her head to look at me, "That's odd, I thought when Marjorie said you'd be coming, we'd have to pick you up at your house."

I don't reply, and suddenly start to feel nervous. If I had to tell another person in the span of two days, I'd throw up. 

"I just happened to stop by."

Julianna seems to ignore me completely.

"Did you spend the night?" She concernedly raises her eyebrow. "You just spent the night at Andre's."

I pretend not to hear her, praying to God that she doesn't question me. My heartbeat starts to rise, and anxiety looms over me. I didn't want to tell her why I was really at Marjorie's.

"Hey! Earth to Skye!" Julianna raises her voice, then taps my knee.

My face twitches when my eyes cock towards hers. I let my earphone fall out of my ear.

"Yes?"

"Why'd you spend the night at Marjorie's?"

"I didn't. I told you, I came by this morning," I lie with a sharp crack in my voice.

Julianna nods suspiciously, "Are you sure?"

A leap of faith, I try telling myself. I want to tell her, but I can't find the courage to do so.

A leap of faith

A leap of faith

Marjorie speaks up, startling me. 

"Julianna; she came over at like, twelve," She says, "Don't worry." Marjorie gives me a look.

Julianna hesitantly turns back around, facing the road, "Alright."

Inside, I was screaming. That whole situation was making me miserable. I hate being questioned like this. As much as I felt terrible to lie to Julianna, then have Marjorie lie for me, I wasn't comfortable around the other two, not yet anyway.

If I do tell them, I wouldn't know if they'd treat me the way my old friends handled me after they found out. Assuming if I got lucky with Marjorie and Andre being so kind, I wasn't sure about everyone else.

I'm beginning to feel overwhelmed. I start overthinking about what would happen if I told Julianna my parents kicked me out. What if they start to think of me like how my old friends did? What if they forced me to confess to them right here, right now? 

I want to conclude that she won't, Julianna has been nothing but kind to me when we met. But so, did my old friends. I wasn't going to take such a significant risk, especially after two risks.

In the past, people were always kind to me at first, but after realizing they'd fuck you over after getting to know them, it wasn't worth telling them, hell, telling anyone!

But this was supposed to be a fresh start, and all fresh starts, I need to leap out of my comfort zone.

Despite Andre reassuring me with those words, that trust was a leap of faith; I still had my doubts. I needed to get to know the rest before I jump into the pond of piranhas and trust everyone.

I can read people very quickly, but it's hard to determine how everyone is going to be like once I do get to know them in all their entirety. The backyard party was fun, though, it gave me an idea of how everyone was, and they were generally friendly. But like I said, things can change, and change is inevitable.

Andre and Marjorie are honestly such a big help, and I feel so lucky just having those two around. Marjorie's act of kindness of letting me sleepover while I'm homeless, certainly let me know she would be there for me, for now anyway. 

However, I'm wondering if she would always be there for me, it's hard to figure out something like that, you can't read people's minds or sense the future or any of that stuff. I guess Andre was right about it being a leap of faith, what the future holds is not up to me.

Anyway, Andre is just a giant teddy bear; he gave me one of the best days of my life yesterday, and I have very few. I'm starting to ease up with him too after he stayed up texting me during a night of insomnia last night. Not to mention, Andre gave this beautiful bracelet and necklace, let me recover from a drunken night in his room, and making me breakfast.

And of course, he gave me the thrill of my life, dancing with me, that is. Being that it was my first-time dancing, and being that close to someone overwhelmed me, it still felt so bliss doing that with him. It was very unexpected that he did do all that for me, and I'm thankful. He was the first-ever guy, no, the first-ever person to make something flutter in my stomach with just a tiny glance at me. His gaze was enough to make me want to act up. It's such a funny feeling, but it wasn't ticklish at all. It made me feel good, and it always gave me the urge to scream. I admittedly want to feel that again.

But I couldn't let my guard down for anyone or anything, I did just that, and it worked out but, is it always going to work out that way? Are all the risks I'm going to dive recklessly in going to end up good? 

No. I never know if these friends I made would still hurt me, would always slip up and disappoint me and cause me not to trust them. I couldn't let them hurt me, nor could I risk hurting them.

The leap of faith Andre talked about seems utterly impossible, and it boggles my mind how he does the things he does. He was hurt incredibly, he trusted this girl with his whole life and would give his life up for her, and she broke it. Yet, he still trusts everyone and everything he comes into contact with like it was no big deal like it was just a chore waiting to be finished.

It was already hard to even hug Marjorie the first time, as all I've known in my life was harmful physical contact, I guess something triggers in my mind when someone touches me as if my body is thinking that any form of contact would hurt me. 

Even so, the hugs made me feel so shielded, and when I first met Andre at Riverlanding, his hugs made me feel even more protected, so protected in fact, I thought I was in a dream. But dreams have limits, they come to an end, and reality kicks you in the face to keep you in check once you awaken, realizing that the utopia you had in your sleep, that solace you felt was gone. 

Nevertheless, I've never felt those emotions in my life, the protection, the ticklish feeling your stomach, being happy, and feeling like I was wanted.

However, I can usually figure people out quickly, but it was very unpredictable of Andre to offer a slow dance, and as well as Marjorie letting me stay. It's safe to say that they might always be able to keep me on my feet.

No one's ever gone to that extent, especially for someone like me. People are frequently intimidated by how I look, you know, goth attire and all. I wasn't always this gloomy and untrusting until my old acquaintances broke me. My parents broke me first, and when these people came along, I thought they'd fix me, I believed that with their help I'd find it inside myself to fix myself. 

But they only shattered me even more. Now I only ever rely on myself, but having friends, the ones I was sitting with me right now, was fresh. Happiness spoke out in their voices, and at the same time, they understood me and didn't disregard that I wasn't happy. I feel like I have shoulders to cry on, to have people to rely on, to have what I can perceive with my limited understanding, a family.

This particular group, however, wasn't intimidated at all. I feel like they were drawn to me. During the Backyard Party, everyone was friendly towards me, and they had just met me. Unlike those bystanders who stare at me, up and down, for the way I look and dress. Dark coloured clothes, black lipstick, and, you name it. They've accepted me more than my own family, who hate how I look, who forced me to walk two blocks behind them on a walk because they didn't want to associate themselves with me. They thought I was tainting their image. Everything I did ruined their image, the family's image, but they didn't care about the family, only themselves, and would only pay attention to me if I did something useful to them.

Though I don't like being the center of attention anyway, this look gives me control over something in my life. That's something I don't really have, as I'm always pushed around at home. I've even resorted to hurting myself, and yet I know I'm going too far doing it. But, the feeling of control reassures me that I do have some power in my life. It just makes me feel better. Why else would I wear long-sleeved shirts in the summer? First of all, it makes me look good, but it also hides what else I've been 'controlling.'

Even if I do sometimes regret all the things I've done to my arm, I continually keep doing it for the sake of having the control, the feeling of power in my life. I hope no one finds out about this. Especially all of them, I wouldn't know how they would react. With all the baggage I'm carrying, I'm not about to tell Marjorie and Andre about any of this, ever. I just can't. 

I've already burdened those two by knowing my problems. Andre is in bad condition himself, and I feel horrible that I nearly caused him to lose himself. I don't want to add more baggage than what they're already carrying. It wouldn't be right. Marjorie seemed so stressed about him too. I feel like she only forgave me so quickly because of my situation at home.

Now, I have to live with her, possibly stressing out about me. I don't know if that makes sense, but I don't want them to worry about me, it just isn't worth it. I feel horrible about letting them hear what's been going on in my life. I just know they'll worry about me always, I mean Andre forced himself to stay up for me last night, and Marjorie is letting me stay home the whole damn week. I hated being a burden on people. I already feel like I am since my family hates me, but this is a different kind of responsibility, and I gave it to those two.

"Say cheese!" Julianna yells.

"What the hell?" I turn my head from the window to a flash of light that blinds me for a second.

Julianna had taken my picture, "Sorry, but you looked really pretty! Is that Marjorie's beanie?" She smiles, sweetly at me.

I nod and try to hide a smile behind my hand, "What are you gonna do with that picture?"

She shrugs, "Maybe post it on Instagram; it's a very pretty picture." Julianna passed her phone to me.

I cringe when I see the picture. I realize how nice I do look. People might ask who I am, what my social media is. I didn't have any social media anyway, only Snapchat, but people are going to ask away no matter what. Some people, at least. Julianna plucks her phone from out of my hands.

"Delete that, please," I plead, pursing my lips.

Julianna smirks, "Sorry, missy. But, you're gonna make a few guys have big heart eyes when they see this."

"Oh, God," I run my hand through my hair. "I thought choosing a goth look would make people avoid me. You guys certainly changed my mind."

Marjorie laughs, "Skye, you're a cute lil' thing. When I first met you, I thought you were the cutest person I've ever met. A lot of our friends think so too."

She pats my head before sprightly pinching my cheeks. She starts to cheer and call me cheesy pet names.

Flustered and annoyed, I scowl, "Marjorie!"

I'm so used to people being wary of approaching me because of how I dress. I'm so used to pushing others away. I'd rather have that than being bombarded by endless amounts of people asking to be friends.

Marjorie changed that perception I had, but I honestly would have kept walking if I didn't bump into her. Sad to think that all the good things that happened recently wouldn't have occurred if I didn't knock her down that day. It all happened because of an accident.

"It's true," Lance adds. "You caught John's attention too, but he wanted too-- Ow!"

Julianna elbows his shoulder and starts glaring at him. 

Lance takes one hand off the wheel to rub his shoulder, "What was that for?"

"He wanted to what?" I ask, leaning forward. "What'd he want?"

Julianna's head towers over his shoulder, "Lance. Don't. You both are embarrassing her!"

"I wanna know!" I start tapping Lance's opposite shoulder.

Lance hesitates, a nervous grin escaping his lips, "He thought you were kinda cute, and so did Nick and I. But, we wanted to let 'Andre have his fun.'"

"LANCE!" Julianna starts to slap his shoulder repeatedly.

"I hope you all weren't implying that kind of fun," I embarrassingly slide my hands in my pockets and look down. "It better be a different type of fun."

Julianna sighs, "They were just joking, Skye. Andre isn't that type of person."

Shaking my head, I turn towards Marjorie, "Is Lance even telling the truth?"

"I have no reason to lie," He counters, putting his arms up in defense. I ignore him.

Marjorie stutters and shuffles around in her seat, "Well-- I--"

"Marjorie, now." I glare at her menacingly. "I'll kill you."

"You wouldn't," Lance snickers, his eyes going wide, full of wonder and curiosity. "Would you?"

I smirk, shrugging my shoulders, "I guess you'll never know."

She sighs, "Yeah, they did. But it doesn't matter. Tagu's holding John down pretty well, and Lance has Julianna."

I decide to have my fun too.

"And you have Nick held down, right?" I tease

Marjorie jars, not replying, only twisting her body to face the window, "Well, if that girl Miguel is texting has him down, that means Andre has you."

I scoff, disapprovingly rocking my head, "He doesn't have me at all. We're just friends." I attempt to stifle a smile from escaping my lips. I didn't like him. I didn't even know how it even felt to have those types of feelings for someone. So even if I did, I can't say.

If I'm being honest, he did make me feel something. That funny feeling in my stomach, feeling like I'm walking on air, all of those things. He makes me smile without even trying.

Julianna frowns, "Awe; you don't like Andre?"

"No! I didn't say that!" I answer, sounding slightly panicked.

"So you do like him?" Lance instigates me, resting her hands on Julianna's.

"I don't know," I start feeling the same warmth from yesterday rise up to my chest. "I guess I haven't really liked anyone in my life."

Lance smirk, "Andre's a great first time."

"I hope you're suggesting something else," Julianna rolls her eyes in disappointment.

"I meant a great first crush. I wouldn't know if he was good at that."

"As Miguel would say," Marjorie snorts. "Incest is wincest, guys."

"You need to be stopped," A tiny laugh leaves my mouth for a second. "You two are related?"

"Yeah, he's my cousin," Lance titters. "We come from a family with outstanding looks."

I mean, he wasn't wrong. Andre was pretty damn cute, not going to lie. 

"See, she's thinking about him right now," Lance points his finger behind him. "I can see your tomato-face in the rearview mirror."

Julianna and Marjorie snicker quietly.

"Okay, leave her alone, Lance."

"No, really, I hope you do consider him a first crush," Lance bobs his head towards me through the rearview mirror.

I rub my eyes, "As I said, I don't have feelings for him. Even if I did, I wouldn't know. What's having a crush even supposed to feel like anyway?"

I didn't exactly know how it felt to like someone. Maybe the feelings that Andre is causing me are it, but I can't say for sure, I wouldn't accept it. It felt off, I've never felt like that in my life, and it suddenly happens to me in the span of a day. That didn't seem right.

"We'll explain it to you when we eat," Lance beams. "It's weird someone our age hasn't had a crush, let alone know what it felt like to have one. I feel like that's impossible."

"You said it yourself," I nod at him. "There's a first time for anything."

"Touché," Lance hops up and down jokingly in his seat. "Still, though! Andre is a good first choice!"

Marjorie steps in, stopping him mid-sentence, "You do know he is in no condition to, you know, go for someone else?"

Julianna shrugs, "We don't know for sure; it's really easy for Andre to catch feelings, remember?"

"Do you remember when he only loved the same girl for two years?" Lance counters, pointing at Julianna.

"Fair point," Julianna thinks for a moment. "Guys, you know how I feel about talking about this. Especially in front of someone who doesn't know."

I glance down at my legs. Julianna seems to catch onto something when I peek to see her face.

"Skye? Something wrong?"

"No," I answer, frigidly.

"Who told her?" Julianna raised her voice slightly, trying to compose herself.

How the fuck does she know everything? Julianna has a sixth sense, like she can sense my heartbeat when I'm lying.

I gulp and open my mouth, admitting defeat. 

"He told me."

"Wait, Andre told you?" Julianna sharply turns her head from over her shoulder. She looks furious.

"I-- Well, he wanted to tell me himself," I say. "I told him he didn't have too, but he did it anyway."

Marjorie holds up her index finger to prevent Julianna from speaking, "Before you get angry at our friend here, she cheered him up."

Julianna's head cocks back, "How?"

Marjorie explains the whole event that took place yesterday. Julianna sits there, letting Marjorie give her every possible detail of what happened.

"THAT JOKE WORKED?" Julianna staggers back and crosses her arms. "If it was that simple, we didn't have to work as hard."

"Hey," Lance shushes her, "That sounds mean, we would do anything for our Andre. Hell, we'd do anything for each other; we're a family."

I tilt my head, confused about what I had just heard, "A family?"

Maybe if I hadn't met my old friends, I wouldn't have met this group who claim they're a family, even though that'd be impossible. It's unbelievable to think that yet they still think it and accept it without a worry.

"Yeah, so what?" Marjorie scooches over next to me.

I suck in my bottom lip and stare out the window, "How does it feel?"

Stone cold expressions formed onto their faces, "What do you mean, Skye?"

"Like, how does a family feel like," I blurt out, starling them. "The only family I know is the one I was born into, and- I don't know how it feels to be in a real family."

My feelings spill. I impulsively keep talking, but Marjorie puts a gentle palm on my lips.

"What, what is it?" I become agitated. I didn't understand. What did they want from me? What did they mean about family? The family I have abused me and still do, so family means nothing to me. What did he mean when Lance they were a family? What did he mean?

Marjorie's face fell, her lips curving down.

"Oh, Skye... I'm so sorry." Her voice sounds like someone mourning the dead. 

"Do you have aunts or uncles? Cousins?" Marjorie asks, taking my hand and looking into my eyes apologetically.

"Yeah, they live in the states, but no cousins," I explain. "I've only ever talked to them through a phone when I was younger."

"Do you ever talk to them nowadays?" Julianna asks with a crack in her voice.

I lean on my palm, "The last time I talked to them was when I was six or seven. Then I started having phone anxiety when I was eight-years-old because of, of.. of.."

I swallow with difficulty, as there was a lump in my throat. I subtly cover my eyes, trying to hide the well of tears forming under them.

Julianna tries to say something but abruptly stopped by Marjorie. I feel her hand lace into mine. I was hesitant at first, but I closed my hand to hold hers. The same discernment of protection washes me over again. I wipe the few tears that escaped my eyes and calmed down.

A question suddenly dawns upon me: What if I hadn't bumped into Marjorie that day? What if I was more aware and moved out of the way?

I'm starting to wonder where I would be right now. Where would I be staying? Possibly the local Wal-Mart from where I lived. Probably the giant-ass Cabela's down by Preston Avenue, besides that Wal-Mart down where I live. Anywhere else cold, and dusty, and alone. I loved my isolation. Hell, I try to make people avoid me. But, being in those places suck. Making the forts were fun, trying not to get caught, no. Getting kicked out wasn't all too fun either if and when I did get caught. I had my wish; they assumed I was just a moody, goth girl, that wanted to cause trouble.

Then the day came, where I ran into Marjorie, and my life literally changed, as cliche as that sounds. It's such a sudden change in my life, too, being around people. I'm undoubtedly uncomfortable still, but I'm starting to see that there's more to see in people than just the assholes you see every day, and if you lived in a household like mine, you'd be with assholes every day. I've trusted people before, but they turned out to be assholes too. That's why I'm kind of hesitant with these guys; it's only the first few days we've met if I already hadn't established that enough. It would be absurd for someone to hear my thoughts right now.

I like doing good for anyone and anything and expect nothing in return. However, I still see the bad in people more than I see the good. It didn't make any sense. Maybe, I didn't want to be like my family. Rude, deceitful, abusive, manipulative, and I could go on and on. Who wanted to become people like that? People nowadays will generalize someone as being apart of something, even if they haven't done a single thing those people have done. That happened to me; my old friends assumed the worst and left me.

It's funny how Fate works in unexpected ways, you know? Almost as surprising as this group of friends that entered my life. The night before my trip to Midtown, I cried that night, telling myself that no one will ever care for me, no one will ever love me, no one will ever want me, because who would want a person like me in their lives?

Marjorie wasn't intimidated by me; she seemed more interested and didn't show a glint of fear. She invited me to hang out. Other than her, everyone has surprised me thus far. I've got the gist of how everyone is or will be, but I guess I can keep on learning from them. Only time will tell. The only person that has me on alert is Andre. First a breakfast, then two dances, what's next? I can't guess, and I'm burning up in anticipation of what he would do for me next time I meet him. It's something I'm looking forward too.

Aside from that, if I have to be completely honest about yesterday's events, I'd have to say they were the best parts of my life. I've never felt so happy. Despite my phone and calling anxiety, I was okay being in a call with people, just as long someone else was in the room with me, and it was the best call ever! The positive energy helped me forget about all the negative things about my life, the abuse, the insecurities, and all the harm I've done to myself.

A gentle tap on my shoulder startles me, "What is it?"

"You spaced out big time," Marjorie begins to wrap her arm around me. "We're almost there; you brought your wallet, right?"

I lean on Marjorie's body, "Yeah, I did."

Marjorie smiles, "How much you got?"

As I finished counting the money, I turn my attention to her, "Nine-Hundred dollars."

"NINE HUNDRED--" Lance swerves, nearly driving off course into a building.

I reflexively wrap my arms around Marjorie, "Holy shit!"

Julianna smacks Lance's shoulder, "What the fuck was that?"

Lance panics, he pulls over to the side of the road, "Skye has nine-hundred dollars! She can save a whole village in some third-world country!" He turns his head back to look at me. "Where did you get that money?"

I shrug, "My dad and brother usually have money lying around the house. I would just swipe it off whatever counter it was laying on while they were gone, of course.

"And they don't notice?" Julianna sounds bewildered.

"Well, obviously," I slide my wallet back into my pocket. "We're so rich that they never even notice."

Julianna chuckles, "It's funny you're hanging out with us. If you're that rich, I'd expect you were making friends at parties your family probably throws. You live in a big house?"

My shoulders tense up, and I feel something heavy weighing down my eyes — goddamn flashbacks.

"Yeah, I do. During parties, I'd stay in my room, though."

Julianna falls silent. I feel a finger lightly wipe the bottom of my eyes. My eyes meet Marjorie, as she gives me a sympathetic look before telling Lance to keep driving.

"Lance," I call, snickering silently, trying to hide the pain.

"Yeah?" He stutters, still shaken up from almost crashing us into a building.

"Try not to get us killed, please," I lean back into the seat.

Lance turns his attention to his rear-view mirror to look at me, "Don't worry, I was just surprised by how much money you brought."

"I mean, I have to pay for lunch, right?"

"Skye, you don't have too--"

"I meant for myself," I burst into a small fit of laughter. "I don't eat that much, but if it's a genuinely good place, then I will. Say, where are we going anyway?"

"New Island Sushi."

A few moments later, we were nearly there. I've heard of this place before, overheard a few students talking about it at my school in the halls. My family would never eat at a place like that; in their eyes, it had no class. They'd only want to eat at fancy five-star restaurants, where their image looks the best.

Suddenly, Marjorie perks up and turns to me, eyebrows scrunch. 

"Wait, you have a brother?"

Before I could speak, Lance comes to a sudden stop, "We're here!"

All of us step out of the car at the same time. I move next to the three of them as we made our way inside the restaurant.

Lance wraps his arm around my shoulder, "We have a lot to talk about. You seemed confused about what we were saying.

I agree, flashing him a weak smile, "Please, enlighten me."

Lance returns the grin, "Will do, Skye. Will do."


	18. Mr. Loverman

_July. 8, 2019_

Andre's POV

My eyes slowly open as the cold breeze in my room settles in. I shiver when I sit upright on my bed, checking the clock in the corner of my room. It was three o'clock in the afternoon.

"Jesus," I yawn and emerge into the outside with sunken eyes.

I notice Adrian sitting on the steps leading to the front door. He's dressed in a blue sweater and black sweat pants. He starts adjusting the hat I had given Skye.

"Oh! Did Skye forget her hat?" I ask, walking into the kitchen.

Adrian shrugs, "She told me to keep it for you after you left to go to the washroom last time she was here."

I sigh, not wanting to remember my experience in the washroom, "Did she not want it?"

"No," Adrian says. "She said the blue outfit she was wearing was Marjorie's. All she has is black and red and dark stuff."

"Ah, I should've caught onto that," I scratch my head as I pour myself a bowl of cereal. "Where are you off to? Do mom and dad know?"

Adrian looks over his shoulder, "Yeah, I'm going out with some friends. We might even plan to sleep over at Ivan's."

I nod and continue to the dinner table to eat my bowl of cereal. After that, it was mostly quiet. Adrian mentions that mom and dad would be at work all day, which means I have the house all to myself.

That sure is a blessing for some people, but I'd instead surround myself in a giant crowd. The background noise of talking and laughing calms me down, despite some places being unbearably loud. It just distracts me from being alone. My mind runs wild when I'm alone, often leading to negative thoughts, and my fear is it might trigger another attack.

The walk home from Marjorie was stressful. I was always looking back just in case someone was following me, and the evening winds kept making an eerie sound.

I was paranoid, to say the least, as the anxiety of just walking on a usually busy street, set off a fight or flight response in my brain at the sudden movement of pebbles, rocks, and plastic bags that were carried by the wind across the sidewalks and streets.

"They're here! Come say, hi!" Adrian calls, opening the door carelessly.

I groan, "I just woke up. I don't think they wanna see crusty-Andre."

"Suit yourself," Adrian runs up the stairs. "Lock the door, at least."

I bob my head, "I will. Have fun."

Adrian smiles, "I'll come home to get my clothes if I do end up sleeping over, okay? Kuya?"

"Yeah, go. I'll get them ready," I return the smile and stand up from the chair to see him out.

I lock the door, then watch through the living room window. Adrian and his friends start walking down the street. I smile, they reminded me so much of my group. There were eight of em' including Adrian. I went to get his clothes ready, and I lie them down inside a backpack, which awaits his arrival by the front door.

I sink into the couch and rub my forehead. My phone buzzes.

_Skye: Marjorie and I are going out to eat with Lance and Julianna, you coming?_

_Andre: I just woke up. I wonder why I did wake up sooo late, huh? Maybe because someone didn't wanna be alone last night, idk.😒_

_Skye: 😂😂😂 Sorry, I'm a guilty insomniac. And don't throw that shade at me, I told you that you didn't have to stay up for me._

_Andre: Nah, I didn't wanna leave you alone. I would've felt bad._

_Skye: Thanks, I guess. But I feel bad for you staying up._

_Andre: Thanks to you, now I feel bad for making you feel bad._

_Skye: ugh_ 😂

_Skye: Hold on. Lance and Julianna are here._

_Andre: Aight, I'm holding😂_

_Skye: 😂😊_

I hold on for a long time, and she still hasn't replied. I text her a little bit more to try getting her to answer but to no avail. I give up. There wasn't really anything to do at my house, especially if you were alone.

Shortly after, I clean the bowl I used for cereal and wipe down the table, counters, sink, stove, etc.

I need something to do to keep me occupied. I decide to sweep the floor and mop it. I was no neat-freak; I was just bored out of my mind. What else are you going to do alone? Sure, people can mope around on their phones, but even that gets boring. No one asked me to do any chores, so I make my own chores.

I would cook if there were anything to cook. It was one of my many distractions because cooking gave me the satisfaction of knowing that if I fed people, and they liked it, it would make them happy, which in turn makes me happy. Cooking is like mending people's problems away without directly touching them; you heal their soul with the food you make.

I return to my room and hop onto the undone bed. Letting my mind run wild would only result in something horrible, such as reminiscing about my break-up, overthinking Skye's mental health and home situation, and being concerned over my friends' safety when I wasn't with them. I was worried over a lot of things, some being very irrational. But my two families were always on my mind, and I would always worry about them.

Overthinking like this is the worst, as I tend to become clingy the next time I see them. Some of them don't appreciate how close I get to them, always just hugging or wrapping my arm around their shoulders. John and Miguel would get annoyed most of the time, and though it made me somewhat upset, I understood they didn't like being that close unless we were all group hugging. Lance is used to me, though, considering the fact I was his cousin.

I love my family so much; I'd give up anything for them, I'll do anything for them. I sound like an obsessed fan, but it's the honest truth. 

Not just them, I'd give my assistance to the shadiest person at school or anywhere if they needed help. I don't care. I can't stand to see people being so sad and helpless; I understand what it's like. 

There are some people at school that have done me wrong, but all I could do is forget about it and move on and still help them with all I got. I still consider them friends too. Though I am hesitant with them, I still care for them as much as I care for everyone else.

People say generosity comes at a price; you'll only get hurt in the end if people only use you for certain things. Generosity is not like that at all. Generosity and selflessness are: knowing you're helping someone and getting nothing but a smile in return, that's the best reward. The price paid for generosity is nothing, but the reward, in the end, better than anything else you'll ever feel.

My cousins would tell me to stop just handing out free work, or free help, or free things because I'm being used, and I get nothing from others in return. Every time, the only thing I'd tell them is, _'What good is help when you expect something in return? The only thing I wanna see is people smiling.'_ The others would also tell me to stop, especially last year, when the fakes had something against me. But, I'd tell them the same thing.

Every moment I spend with the group or my family, I spend it like it's the last time I'll ever see them. A certain someone taught me to live like that, and she's right, it's the best way to live because it makes you grateful for the things you have that might not last. And now that Nick is part of our group now, as well as Skye, I have more people to care about. Caring about someone just gives me, you know, peace. That trust I give to people is my way of showing that I care about them.

And I tend to be very trusting and forgiving. Any person, including someone I care deeply about, could hurt me badly, but I'd still forgive them and trust them like before. Just like my ex. 

Not all my friends forgave her for what she did yet, and I don't know how she feels about me, hell, I don't even know if she wants anything to do with me. However, even if those things were true, I still care and trust her with all my heart.

I was hurt; it practically killed me for two days until something forced me to rise from the dead. It didn't help that it was nearing the end of the semester, which meant final exams. Imagine just trying to study, knowing you'd cry yourself to sleep every night, knowing you'll have the same nightmare every night. I cried every day until it felt like tears wouldn't even come out. They were just sobs escaping my mouth as if I were crying. I thought that I'd never find anyone again. If I could explain the love I had for that girl, I wouldn't be able to anyway.

Something like that just can't be simply explained, as if it were something you would read out of a textbook. If you love someone, and can't explain that love, then that's just it. If you put their needs over yours every second of every day, that's love. Love is a feeling.

If you're going through an argument, and you set your ego aside to consider their point of view instead of trying to win for the sake of winning. That's love, what more could it be? 

I wanted to keep it for as long as I could, tried to please her as much as I could, but never once did I admit, nothing lasts forever, because I thought we were forever. Sadly, life grabs you by your throat, and you have to play by its rules.

I'm afraid one of these days, my friends would leave me too. I was fearful that they would abandon me and find new people. My fear coming out of the ninth grade was losing my girlfriend - which happened - and losing my friends.

I throw my phone across the room in frustration. She still wouldn't answer. I rub my temples, making my way to the desk in my room. I power on my computer, then logged onto Skype, calling John and Miguel.

"Andre?" Miguel answers, his face looking into the camera.

"Let's play League?" I ask, double-clicking the game's icon in the corner of my desktop. "We haven't played in a while, bet it's a nice day for it."

"Eh," Miguel shrugs. "I'm going somewhere soon."

"We'll be quick; we can win early," I assure him, laughing.

The last time we played League of Legends, we lost so hard we were afraid to open the game again. It was because Joshua Chavez had one kill and twenty-two deaths on Viktor. That day was horrifying.

"No, sorry," Miguel smiles briefly. "I'm actually going out with someone soon."

My face lights up, "Oh! Good for you! Is it that girl you met the first time we went out with Nick?"

His face moderately turns bright red, "Yeah, we're just taking a walk around the park."

I cheer loudly, trying to make it sound as authentic as I could, "I'm happy for you! Have fun!"

"You good?" Miguel asks concernedly, noticing my sudden, yet unconvincing happiness.

"Oh, yeah!" I say with a grin. "Just cold in my room. Good luck with that date!"

Miguel beams and waves, "Good luck yourself. I know you just met Skye, but I think you two can work out."

I cock my head to the side, "What? No! She's just a friend. I can't just dive in."

Miguel chuckles, rubbing his hands together, mischievously, "Not right away, but you two will eventually be together. Ninety-nine percent sure."

Blood rushes to my cheeks, and I feel my entire body growing warm.

"I don't even know if I do have feelings for her, Miguel," I partly lie. There was something Skye was making me feel, and I didn't want to accept it. "I still need time to think about it about everything."

Miguel looks at me, apologetically, "I understand. I have to go." Before he left, however, he quickly spun around his chair, "Ask Jolo if he wants to play?"

I nod, and Miguel shortly leaves after. I spam John with messages to no avail.

This now has me thinking about my friends again - and since my first fear came true, my second would only come sooner. 

I wanted to deny it, but it was inevitable, right? I decided to prolong the agony instead of breaking it off with them right now, because like I said, every moment spent with my friends, would be spent like the last. I cherished those memories once I got home from those countless hangouts, and move on best I could. Unfortunately, I wasn't the type to move on... I would cherish those experiences, but I would never move on.

To me, memories aren't made to be forgotten; they're made to be remembered, even the bad ones. You learn from them, but just like a glass of water, add too much and you overflow. And if contaminated water is added, you become sick when you drink it. You become infected with parasites, bacteria, whatever was in that water, it's inside you.

Anxiety, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, sadness, anger, all of that was in that water I drank. Reminding myself of the breakup, and telling the full story, poured more into it. Knowing Skye's problems added to the glass, now I had to worry about her constantly. Even right now, I'm wondering if she's okay. She was with Lance, Julianna, and Marjorie, but would she eat at all? How does she feel?

_I miss her._

_I really hope she's okay._

My Skype notifications begin ringing, my back straightening involuntarily in relief that John had finally texted me back. I click onto the app and tap the call button on John and I's conversation page.

"JOLO! Let's play TFT!" I attempt to sound happy once again, but there was a noticeable crack in my voice. "C'mon!"

He sighs, "No can do. I'm going to Josh's for a bit."

I groan playfully, rolling my eyes, "Not inviting me again?"

John snickers, "Nah, he just needs help with a job application."

"Can't you just help him over a call?" I force out a smile.

"Nah, he needs me over or else he won't understand a damn thing I'm trying to tell him," We both share a good laugh. "That's my queue to leave. See you later!"

I slump into my chair. Thinking, I decide to call Tagu.

"Wanna hang? We can take Tybalt for a walk if you want," I ask, leaning my face in way too close to the camera. Only my nose and mouth were in view.

Tagu laughs in amusement, "Get your nose off my screen!"

I sit back down into my chair and grin widely, " C'mon! Are you down?"

Tagu's smile quickly forms into a disappointed frown, "If you had called me earlier, I would've loved to walk Tybalt."

"Did you already walk him?" I murmur, sounding dejected.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry," Tagu scratch the back of her head. "I'm pretty busy the rest of the day, too. Double-sorry, Andre."

"No, don't be! It was my fault for not calling earlier," I reassure her, simpering.

Tagu's face lights up, returning the smile, "Thanks for understanding. I promise both of us can have one-on-one friendship time."

I slowly bow my head and end the call without saying good-bye. Nick was at work, so I didn't want to call him and possibly get him in trouble.

Everyone was so busy. We had all just hung out recently, but I needed someone. Skye had phone anxiety, so I wouldn't even think about calling her, and in plus, she disabled calls so it wouldn't make much of a difference. The other three were with her as well.

I sigh and call our friend, Thu Thu. In the same grade as us, she was a girl that was close to Marjorie, Tagu, Miguel, and Julianna. They went to the same elementary school together as kids. She was introduced to me, John, and Lance the same day we met Julianna and Tagu on Skype.

Thu Thu is one of the aforementioned, Frenchies that are in are school. I'm sure every school has its own Frenchie groups, but the ones at Beth were a special breed. We knew most of them, and they were good friends with us. Not all of them, of course, but when I had the chance, the small conversation wasn't bad. I would always come out of it with a couple of new friends to flash a smile down the halls.

When we ended up in each other's homeroom, which we called 360, in Grade 9, I was surprised to find out that I was taller than her, but only by the slightest centimeter. Tagu and her used to be our tallest friends back then, but unfortunately for Thu Thu, she literally got the short end of the stick and stopped growing. I made fun of her for a while, and we just got closer over the years, closer than we were Skyping back in Grade six, seven, and eight. We often vented to each other about our problems, whether it be about life, school, or anything that was on our minds.

Thu Thu was a delighted person full of positive energy, maybe even more than John and I - well, me on a good day. Though she has been through a few up and downs herself, she always found a way to keep smiling for the people around her. Thu Thu's presence alone always cheered me up in the mornings during 360. It was such a blessing to have a friend like her. In the past, she was part of our Skype group but wasn't always there with us every time we called, and eventually, she rarely logged onto Skype, anymore. She was there occasionally, but not as much as before. I was lucky to have caught her on Skype today. It was like spotting a rare animal in the wild.

"Come over?" I scratch my head. "We haven't seen each other this summer yet. You can bring whatever you want."

" **FOOD?** **CAN WE WATCH A MOVIE?** " Thu Thu excitedly asks, blowing into the mic.

I giggle as I pluck my earphones out of my ears, "Calm down, Peppermint. And yes, we can do anything."

She grins, her teeth shining from the light of her screen, "I'm down. I might come in an hour or two, though."

Inside, my stomach turns. The wait would be unbearably long. I'm afraid another attack could happen in the time I have to wait.

"Okay, I'll be waiting."

Thu Thu ends the call, leaving me alone once again. I look down at the carpet for what seemed like half an hour.

Bringing my hand up to my cheek, I feel hot tears. I didn't know if it was just me overthinking, but I feel another attack coming. I swallow hard, before rising from the chair. I ran to the backyard as quick as I could and swung open a shed we had under the deck. It was untouched, so untouched that dust flew in the air when the wooden door was forced open, and cobwebs were one of the first things the eye could sense when peering inside the small storage.

Considering this, no one ever came here without a good reason. Old bikes and lawnmowers, broken power tools, old kid toys I used to own, and more junk were the only things in attendance with the cobwebs. This was a perfect place to hide a booze stash.

Okay, okay, I was against Julianna bringing alcohol to my house that day, but in my defense, I didn't want them to find out I had a cooler with a bunch of drinks. It was the way I coped. I started binge drinking after the breakup but stopped once finals rolled around. I didn't want them to worry, nor did I want them always to use my house for alcohol parties.

I was a confusing mess of a person, as I always would contradict my own beliefs with something stupid. This alcohol stash was the way I escaped from my own negative thoughts during those times. All the pain and sorrow I felt every day. Loneliness triggers those kinds of feelings. Being alone for me is the worst, as it would be a perfect time for my own mind to use its tricks against me. As I said, I loved to surround myself with many people, even if it was in a crowd, as the sound produced by voices and laughter would distract me from my problems deep inside my brain.

Now, this alcohol served me a purpose. Suppress my anxiety attacks and bad memories and my nightmares.

Sadly enough, as much as I drink, I know it would only ease the pain but never take it away.

Maybe if and when I die, the pain will end. Realizing now, the break up was the least of the source, but rather the feelings I experienced after it happened. It flicked a switch in my head, and now, I'm like this, and I'll be like this for God knows how long.

I pull out a Smirnoff Ice out of the cooler eagerly I didn't need a glass or anything to pour it in. I pop open the cap and drink away. I wince at first, the taste of alcohol coats my mouth more than the other flavours. I shook my head, letting myself drop and sit down against the wooden planks beside the storage. I sit there, drinking away all my problems. Soon, the thought of the attack coming for me went away. The thought of losing my friends went away; the view of the breakup went away, the loneliness went away. I lie down in the shade of the deck and down more and more bottles, finishing them swiftly, one by one.

As I finish my fourth bottle, I sluggishly pick myself up off the floor. I wobble up the steps and trip, my shin smashing against the board of the step. Surprisingly, the pain doesn't set in, and I get up and keep walking, though I was noticeably limping. Through my hazy vision, I could see a silhouette of someone at the door. Even with glasses on, being this drunk could make anyone's vision blurry.

Stupidly, I run down the stairs leading into the front door, nearly skipping the last step. I open the door, ajar. Adrian and Thu Thu were waiting on the concrete base of the door, their conversation stopping once I opened the door entirely.

"Hey," my voice cracks, sounding slurred.

I toss Adrian his backpack full of clothes, "Are you okay? What's that smell?"

I giggle loudly, "Nothing, there's no smell! Are you drunk?"

Thu Thu's face has an expression of worry, her long, dark brown hair flowing gracefully in the wind as the breeze enters the house.

"Adrian, go to your friends, they're waiting," She says softly, patting his back.

Adrian reluctantly leaves and returns to his group of friends. I wave with a stupid grin on my face.

Thu Thu let peers inside the house and noticed the countless bottles of alcohol on the kitchen island.

"Are you okay?"

I drop down to the floor of my house, "No. I'm not."

"Why are you drinking all by yourself?" Thu Thu asked, stepping inside and closing the door behind her.

"Because," My voice trails off. "It helps."

Thu Thu takes a deep breath, "C'mere, let's lay you down." She struggles, lifting me onto my feet and letting me lean against her as we walk up the stairs.

She gently lies me down gently against the couch, "Andre, that is way too much. I'm surprised you didn't stink up the house."

"I drank outside," I correct her, nearly tipping over.

"Figures," Thu Thu rose from my side and goes to recycle the bottles. She returns shortly after.

"Why did you drink so much?" Thu Thu sits beside the soles of my feet at the end of the couch where there was space.

I hesitate, before explaining to her the extent of my thoughts I had earlier. Every single detail, every single problem I had.

"Why don't you tell the others? They're your family; they deserve to know!" She flares, lightly slapping my thigh in anger.

I gulp and let out a deep sigh, "That's why I don't want to tell them. I don't want them to worry. And I'm not comfortable, because they already had to deal with my breakup. I don't wanna add more baggage."

Thu Thu grabs my hand, and heaves me up to sit down next to her, "Do you ever worry about me worrying about you?"

I puff, "Of course, I worry about you." I tell her, reassuringly. "It's just you're the only one ever to notice that something was wrong with me without needing to tell anyone."

She smiles gently at me, tilting her head, "Do they not notice?"

"They sometimes notice," I shrug. "They just don't pry it out of me. I'm wondering if they actually care enough to force it out of me, or they're just tired of me moping around."

My face fell when I noticed that Skye hadn't texted back. I stand up, my body beckoning me for another bottle — Thu Thu tugs at my hand.

"No, no more," She says with a soft, soothing voice, looking at me sorrowfully.

"Please, just one more," I reach out for the backyard door weakly.

"No!" Thu Thu stands up and extends an arm out for me. "Let's go talk; you need someone right now."

Instead of reaching for her hand, I fall into her arms and let all my emotions out, moistening her clothes. Her shirt becomes soaked in my tears, as I plan to release what's been building up inside me. Sobs wrack my body. I feel a hesitant hand rubbing my back soothingly.

I delivered all I could say to her, all I could comprehend thus far. Glancing at her, I can see the sadness in her eyes. She looks more hurt than I am.

"Andre, you have to talk to them," Thu Thu's voice sounds full of softness. "I'm sure they care; that's why they're family."

"I don't want them to worry, and if I do tell them, who says they will worry about me? It's a lose-lose situation; I don't want to tell them," I stutter and sniffle.

Thu Thu strokes my hair gently, "You don't know that. They could care as much for you as you care for them."

I run my hand through my hair, "Please, don't tell them. Let's just keep this between us for now."

"But you have to tell them eventually. Julianna and Marjorie will find out soon enough. That'd just be completely irresponsible."

My heart sinks, "I know they will. But, they'll find out when it won't even matter anymore."

"Hm..?"

"...Or if I'm dead."

"Stop, now," Thu Thu glares at me sharply, through her eyes I could see I hurt her even more, stirring the guilt in my gut to set into a simmer. "This ain't a good time to joke, Andre."

I waver back, my reddened eyes meeting hers, "Sorry. It was just a thought, too."

She shakes her head and sighs, "I'm glad you trust me with this shit. I won't tell them, but if you keep this up, I'm gonna have to."

I bite my lip and withdrawing my gaze, "This isn't the first time I've done this."

Silence falls in the living room. Thu Thu gulps, rising from the couch, "I won't tell them yet. Just don't do it again."

"I'll try," I delicately stand up and wobble over my room.

A rumbling in my stomach stirs, and I knew exactly what was coming.

"Oh, God, I'm gonna throw up."

I rush into the washroom and kneel in front of the toilet. I shudder as I puke into the bowl. I perceive a hand calmingly rubbing my back, as the sickness subsides.

"Thank you," I stammer and slam on the side of the bathtub.

"How about we watch a movie? You can lay down, and I'll sit right beside you," Thu Thu gently smiles at me and leads me into my room.

I lie down and wrap myself up into the blanket, "Thu Thu, look."

Her head swivels toward me, "Yeah?"

I shift around in the blanket a bit before finally settling into something comfortable.

"I'm a burrito."

Thu Thu laughs in brief amusement, an appraising expression on her face looking my way.

"Oh my god."

I chuckle, childishly rolling around. "This is comfy! I'm _so_ doing this again."

I smile widely, obviously still drunk. I'm glad to make her laugh, especially since the whole situation isn't entirely great. She google-casts a random horror movie on my T.V. from Netflix.

It'd been at least thirty minutes as Thu Thu screams at a jumpscare that fills the screen. Startled, I roll off the bed and land on my face.

"What happened?" Thu Thu asks, swiftly pulling me off the carpet.

I sway a bit before balancing my feet, "I was startled by your screaming."

She smirks, "You were probably scared of me." Thu Thu flicks her hair over her face, like how Samara did in the Ring. "Fear me, bitch."

I scream and sprawl my arms out onto my bed, "Oh no, you're so scary."

Thu Thu shakes her head and giggles, "I sure am! Maybe the burrito wrap wasn't the best idea."

I pout as I kick my feet into the air like a child, "But it's warm."

"Stop being a baby," she pauses the movie. "Hm, this reminded me of something."

I tilt my head, "What did it remind you of, Twenty-Two?"

She rolls her eyes, "I was thinking of bringing you guys camping, at Pike Lake?"

"Camping?" I rise onto my bed, then start jumping up and down while clapping my hands giddily.

"Yes! I need to catch up with the girls, and I hear you guys have two new people in your Lil' family," Thu Thu beams while her body rocked back and forth as I kept jumping on the bed.

I settled down, then landed beside her, "You're apart of us too," I pout and lay down on Thu Thu's thigh. "Our family."

She brushes my hair with her fingers, "I don't Skype with you guys often."

"That doesn't mean you're not apart of us! You're the glue, Thu Thu!" I slap the bed loudly and exaggerate my laugh. "Cause... it rhymes?"

Thu Thu tries to stifle her smile, "Ugh, your jokes suck when you're drunk. Not to mention, cheesy."

"No, I'm always this cheesy, unfortunately," I explain. "You should Skype with us frequently, then; we miss you."

"I'll try. I'm glad you caught me on Skype today, or else you would've probably drank more," Thu Thu pokes at my cheek. "Unless you had nothing else to drink?"

"Nah, I had more," I shut my eyes. "But, I remembered that Adrian would be coming back soon, so I went back upstairs to recycle the bottles I used up, and to give Adrian his clothes."

Thu Thu nods solemnly, "My sister's here. I'll talk to you on the way home."

I smile sweetly, "Thanks for being here today."

"Of course," She slides my head off her thigh. "Add me to the group call; we'll talk about the camping trip."

I nod as we both got up. She walks in front of me while I lag behind her slowly.

I escort her to the front door, "You're already added. I added you earlier when I called."

"Oh! Great," Thu Thu pulls me in for a tight hug before leaving. "I'm letting you know right now that the camping trip is gonna be in two or three weeks if that's okay."

"Yeah," I hold her there before reluctantly letting go. "That's a perfect time. I might have a car by then."

"Yay! That is perfect!" Thu Thu cheers, before marching to her sister's car. "See ya!"

As she enters the car, her eyes glance back at me, giving me a tiny but reassuring grin. The vehicle leaves the street as I come back to my house. I closed the door, not forgetting to lock it.

Dejected, I punch the wall hard, then lean against it. The pain set in, I was starting to sober up. I sink to the floor and bring my hands to my face.

That feeling came back. I decide to take another shower to get rid of the stale-alcohol scent that remained stuck to my body. After getting changed, I quickly move downstairs into the basement to wash my clothes.

Walking back upstairs, I trudge to the couch and choose to lay on it for the remainder of the day, still in a semi-drunken haze, until my parents came home.

I stare at my phone for what seems like an eternity, still holding on as Skye told me too.

I held on for a long time. She didn't come back.


	19. A Song For You

_July. 8, 2019_

_New Island Sushi_

Marjorie's POV

Skye continuously stuffs her face with food like she's never eaten in her life.

"Skye, slow down," Lance wipes his mouth with a napkin. "I can start explaining if you slow down."

"But it's so good! The sauce coats my tongue!" Skye glowers at Lance with cheeks full of Teriyaki Chicken.

The three of us silently chuckle, which causes her to put down her chopsticks, swallowing a large amount of food in her mouth.

"What's so funny?"

"You looked like a hamster," Julianna takes a sip of her Udon soup.

Skye hides her face, embarrassed, "Sorry, I didn't have breakfast this morning."

"Yeah, because you woke up two hours ago," I add, sliding off her beanie and ruffling her soft red hair.

Lance sighs, "Alright, what do you want me to explain first?"

Skye's POV

"The whole liking people stuff," I think for a moment. "Yeah, I don't know what it is I'm supposed to feel."

Marjorie cocks her head to the side, "You've called Andre cute; don't you feel anything?"

"I don't feel anything. Not even pain. I only feel joy when I feel the pain of others," I say menacingly. I jerk my head towards Marjorie's terrified expression. "I'm obviously joking."

Marjorie shudders nervously, backing away a little bit, "Anyway, don't you feel anything with him? Andre, I mean."

I inhale heavily, resting a hand on the table, "I mean, yeah, I find him quite cute. But that's all appearances and stuff; I find a lot of guys and girls cute."

Lance shushes us both.

"Okay, you'll feel a lot of things that can be explained, like butterflies in your stomach, your heart racing and skipping beats, you know, the cliché stuff." He rubs his chin. He appears like he's looking deep within his mind. "But there are some things you just can't explain so casually."

The table grows silent, everyone being attentive as we all slowly lean in closer.

Lance clears his throat, "Julianna and I have talked about it, the feelings you can't explain that is. You feel something, but you can't put two words together to describe something like it."

"Magic?" I giggle to myself. Lance raises an eyebrow at me.

"Magic could be a good way to describe it, but it's such a weak word," Lance brings his hands together and settles them on the table. "You'll know it when you feel it, Skye. It's like feeling happy, but happiness wouldn't be a good word to describe it, either. It could be love, could be something entirely different, but the point is, you'll know it when you feel it. And you'll know."

"Do I have a choice whether or not I want too?" I ask, still confused as to what he was saying.

Lance bites his bottom lip, taking a breath, "Sadly, you don't. It's like a leap of faith; you need to dive in if you want to know the truth. Feelings can't simply be suppressed, because sometimes your heart shouts louder than your mind, and you're forced to follow it wherever it leads you."

My heart skips a beat when he mentions the leap of faith. I was told trust was a leap of faith, now this? I still had many unanswered questions.

Julianna leans her head on Lance's shoulder, "To put it simply, yes, it is magic." Her eyes meet Lance's, and they gaze at each other affectionately. "I can't explain my feelings for the guy I'm looking at right now."

Lance leans his lips into hers. The warm, red flush fills their faces, lighting up the entire booth we sat in. Marjorie sits uncomfortably.

"Uh," I cough awkwardly, looking elsewhere to avoid seeing the kiss. "Can you elaborate?"

Lance chuckles as he draws away from Julianna's lips, "Skye, you'll know you have feelings for someone when it happens. As I said, it ain't just something casual, you'll feel it, hear it, smell it, fuck, even taste it. It's whether or not you accept the fact that those feelings are there. Acceptance is the first step, and it's inevitable too."

It suddenly dawns upon me that it might be impossible for me to understand what he was teaching. I never realized how two people could be so close that their feelings reciprocate, and they end up together. If someone ever did have feelings for me, I'd question what's so special about me that someone would actually feel that way.

"Goth Queen," Marjorie taps my shoulder, snapping me out of my thoughts. "He's right. You'll know when it's there."

I think about it for a moment and acknowledge my heart did skip a beat earlier. It rose to the middle of my throat for a split second, before falling back into place like it was on a trampoline. I'm wondering if the phrase 'leap of faith' caused that interaction or if it reminded me of _him._

"I guess I'll learn in time," I shrug my shoulders, then drop a piece of beef into my mouth. "More talking?"

Curiosity is getting the best of me. It's distracting me from my inner struggles, and at the same time, I'm learning, slowly learning.

Lance nods as he took a sip of his glass of water, "Family?"

I wince at the word, "Yes. Don't you have one?"

Lance massages his eyes together, raising his head and staring at me, remorsefully, "Skye, do you know how family works?"

I gulp, quivering as the inevitable was happening, "No."

"Does your family treat you right?"

"No."

I stiffen as I felt his hand rubbing my shoulder from across the table, "I won't ask you to tell us, but I will ask you to keep listening, aight?"

I breathe a sigh of relief, resting my hands on my thigh, silently thanking Lance.

"Okay."

"You can have more than one family," Lance said, looking at me apologetically. "And another family you're in can feel more like it than the one you're born into."

I shake my head, "Explain. Now."

"Skye, a family, is another thing that can't be explained," Lance answers, licking his lips.

"Well, try your best," I reply, sounding urgent, leaning into the table, "Please."

"...Because," Lance's eyebrows furrows. "Because family isn't just blood, it's much more than that, much more special, beyond anything we understand."

My eyes feel heavy as I bring my gaze towards his, "...Lance?"

"...It's the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything possible and impossible just to see you smile. The ones who love you no matter what."

I suck in a single breath, feeling a million pounds of weight lifting from my shoulders, and it feels like I was floating among the clouds again. Those words echo in my mind loudly. Each time, it is getting louder and louder in my head. I'm breathless. I might have been wrong my entire life.

Tears suddenly spring up in my eyes. Each breath of air I take feels like everything I was wrong about leaving my body. I look up to see the three of them standing up, with extended arms.

"Wha-- what are you doing?" My reddened eyes meet theirs. My body involuntarily reaches with both arms.

I think I understand now.

They pull me up together and engulf my body into a deep embrace. I feel Lance's chin on my head, Julianna's soothing hand rubbing my back, and Marjorie stroking my hair. A sense of peace overtakes me; now, I knew I could trust them, all of them. It's a leap of faith, and I'm taking it with them together. It's a risk I'm willing to take after seeing them. They speak with their eyes, and it's easy to see if they're honest or not. I could feel their honesty, their care.

"Oh, Skye," Julianna sniffles, I think she was crying too. "Who hurt you?"

I pull away from them, and move out of a waitress' way, "Before I met you guys, everything hurt me."

"Let's go back to the car," Marjorie beckon us as all of us took a single step in unison.

We make our way to the cashier; there was an aquarium next to me. A school of fish swims together in a clump, never leaving each other's sides. I look at Lance, seeing him about to pay. I put my hand on his and push it down before he can give the debit card.

"Here," I look at the lady, giving her $90. "I'll pay for them. You get a ten dollar tip, too."

Lance intervenes, "Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing?"

I exhale through my nose sharply, turning to him, "Paying for you guys. Go to the car."

"But you said you'd only pay for yourself, Skye-"

"I lied, now go."

The three look among each other, slowly backing away and out the door.

As we enter the car, Lance taps the car ignition button, "Before we all start diving into emotional territory, how do you feel about Senior year coming?"

Lance gestures to me. Senior year? I'm going into my sophomore year.

My eyebrows wrinkle, "I'm a sophomore next year." I widen my eyes. "Wait, y'all are seniors?"

Marjorie and Julianna stagger back.

"You're a freshman? BUT YOU'RE HOT," Marjorie screams, a laugh escapes her.

Marjorie and Julianna take turns complimenting me obnoxiously.

"Your hair is so well done too! I mean, I can feel how soft it is from here."

"That goth look, you pull off so well. Goddamn, that lipstick suits you so well, I'd give up an eyeball for looks like yours!"

"That face too, girl? Oooh, I bet anyone would kill to get with you!"

Lance chimes into the fun, "Andre would kill to get with you."

I snort, feeling my face heat up and covering my mouth.

"Stop with that shit, now!" I shake my head in perplexity. "I thought you guys were just a year older than me."

"We thought you were the same age as us! Well except Lance, he graduated already," Marjorie shouts, pulling me into a tight hug. "No wonder you're so small, your body is small!"

I grin wryly, "Okay, now you're pushing it. I prefer petite."

I shift away from Marjorie's arms.

She pouts, her bottom lip coming forward, "I didn't mean it like that! It's just; it explains so much."

Raising my eyebrow, I turn my attention to Lance, "Don't crash; you nearly killed us last time."

Lance scoffs, "Even if we did crash, we wouldn't have died."

"Oh, really? My body is _small_ ; I would've been thrown into the seat in front of me like a ragdoll, right, Marjorie?" I tease her, playfully punching her shoulder.

"I said I was sorry," Marjorie frowns.

I give her a tender smile, "So, now this is the part where I stupidly trust you all with my life story."

Julianna turns her head halfway towards me, "You don't have too, but take your time."

Like a dam breaking, I spill all the tragic events in my life: all the abuse, my home life, all the betrayal, all the struggles, everything. I explain why I did stay at Marjorie's, and that I have to stay there for the remainder of this week. The only thing I didn't touch on was my self-harm, but now I wasn't as afraid of telling them than before. I still had that fear of Marjorie and Andre freaking out about it, but I think I trusted them.

I didn't want to bombard them with more of my horrible life, so I painfully agree to myself to tell all of them when the time was right.

Wow, I feel like everything completely changed, like my eyes were opened to something more significant, something out of this world, in such a small amount of time. The car fell into a deep silence before Julianna spoke.

"Skye, I'm so sorry," Julianna apologizes, rubbing her forehead in disbelief.

I bite my lip, "Hey, it ain't your fault, don't go apologizing."

"No, I wasn't saying sorry for that, I was--"

"I know Julianna, but a sorry isn't going to fix what's at home," I lean back into my chair, tears starting to form under my eyes. "It's just so hard that the people who brought you into this world are your worst enemies, and you fear you'll grow up to be like them. And it sucks because I still want their approval. It makes me so angry."

Lance frustratingly throws his hands up into the air, "You're nothing like those people, Skye. You're better than them by a million miles."

Lance slumps, rubbing his forehead with a free hand.

Julianna brushes his shoulder comfortingly; she whispers to me, "I'm sorry, he just gets pissed off at the unjust things people have done, that go unpunished."

I shake my head, "They'll never be punished. Money talks louder than words. They're damn good liars, too, and manipulative."

Lance shouts, "Have you tried too to go to protection services?"

"Yeah, but my brother always bails them out on top of them clearing their names, and in plus, if that didn't work," I took out the remaining money I had left in my wallet. "They'd make up some story about me going through a phase or having a mental problem. At parties, they'd act so nice around me just to look good. CPS blocked my number because they believed my parents every time I called. What a shitty service."

Lance swallows, rubbing his temples at a stop sign, "That's horrible. I'm... we're here for you, okay? All of us. And maybe in the future, we'll walk into that building and vouch for you."

I nod solemnly, "We'll have to defend in court."

"We'll win," Marjorie smirks. "It'd be hard to find evidence."

I fall silent and looking out the window. Marjorie looks at me, squints, and something seems to click in her mind.

"Seriously, Skye," Marjorie tugs on my arm. "Who's your bother?"

My mouth gapes open, but before a single word came out, Lance already arrived at Julianna's, "See you, babe."

Julianna gives him a tender and prolonged kiss, before reluctantly departing towards her house, "Bye, guys."

Marjorie and I wave back and watch her enter her home.

"Lance, do you happen to have a charger?" I ask.

He opens a palm behind him, his fingers curling rapidly, urging me to place my phone into his hands. I did so, and he plugs my phone into the charging port in his car.

I struggle as I reach for it. I hold the power button and let the apple logo shine before tossing it back into the cupholders.

_Bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt_

"Wow," Marjorie snickers. "Miss popular over here. It's probably Andre."

I widen my eyes, "Oh fuck, I told him to hold on."

"And?" Marjorie grabs onto my thigh while looking out the window.

"That was two hours ago."

"Oh shoot, he hates it when people don't reply," Marjorie giggles. "Well, he doesn't hate it. It's just; he gets lonely."

Her lip curls, "Ugh, he better not be moping around."

Countless texts from Andre appeared on my phone. I feel terrible, he stop texting me an hour ago, and he'd already sent me over twenty texts.

 **SKYE  
** _My phone was dead. I'm sorry_ _😭😭Andre I'm here.  
Do you want me to come over?  
Andre_

"Oh, god, he won't reply," I tap on Lance's ear. "Go to his house now."

"Why? He's probably busy."

"Go! I haven't seen him all day," I stutter and feel my chest and face heat up.

Lance's lip curls.

"Oh yeah, you definitely like him," He teases.

I slap his shoulder, "I didn't ask! I'm just worried. What if I hurt him?"

Lance clicks his tongue, "Nah, he's very understanding. He'll forgive you for sure; he doesn't hold grudges, especially over something small."

"Still! I wanna see him!" The words escape my mouth; I didn't even think before saying them. I hold onto my lips for a long time.

"Like I said," Lance turns his head to look at me before parking his car in front of Andre's house. "Acceptance."

I take a deep breath, thinking long and hard about what he was telling me, "But I just met him, even I have common sense that feelings can't come this fast."

Lance shakes his head, "You're wrong. Feelings come by whenever they want, too, whether you're ready or not."

Again, I think with the best of my abilities before leaving the car, slamming the door behind me.

Marjorie follows, "Thu Thu just texted me to get on Skype."

"Who's Thu Thu?" I ask.

"A friend of ours," Marjorie taps her keyboard. "It's weird. She's never on Skype."

I ignore what she said and knock on the door loudly.

A silhouette of a person unsteadily travels down the stairs, before moving the cloth blocking the glass of the door aside. Andre smiled, giddily at us, and opened the door.

" _Heyyyyy guyyyyss,_ " Andre's slurred speech rings.

I narrow my eyebrows and squint at him.

"Andre?"

Was he drunk?

"Are you--?"

"I'm not drunk," Andre stands up straight and brings his hands together against his chest.

Marjorie's eyes flare, "How much did you have?"

"About a dozen," Andre slumps, a sudden guilty expression spread across his face.

I sigh deeply, "Why did you have so much?" I cup his face, making him turn away from my touch.

"Nothing, just bored."

"Do you want us to come inside?"

"No," Andre's raspy voice trails off. "I need to take my third shower to get rid of the odor and Febreze the entire house again."

He passes Lance a plastic bag full of a wide array of alcohol, "Please, don't tell Thu Thu. She told me to lay off the drinks when she left, but then I got bored and let my mind run _wild like a choo choo train."_

Lance stares at him, disappointed, "Weren't you against Julianna bringing this shit last time? What happened?"

Andre makes an overemphasized gulp, "Found em'."

Marjorie runs her hand through her hair, "Okay, I won't be mad right now. Because I ate like a pig and now have food coma, and Thu Thu wants us on Skype."

Andre's eyes and face light up like a lamp.

 **" _CAMPING!! CAMPING, BABY!_ "** He grabs my waist, picking me up and spun me around in the air.

Startled, my eyes widen, and my hands grapple onto his shoulders. I begin to admire the twinkle in his eye as I was floating off the ground. I let out a tiny scream, then start giggling.

"Put me down, silly!" I yell, feeling the wind hitting my face as he keeps me suspended longer in the air.

"Camping? What are you talking about?" Marjorie puts her hands on her hips.

Andre places me back down onto the concrete gently, then hesitates for a moment. He stares at one spot on my face, then kisses it gently. I feel like passing out, the butterflies in my stomach keep flying around, and my cheeks begin to swell. My face feels increasingly hot, and Marjorie stands her ground, biting her lip.

"Holy shit," Lance's mouth gapes open, he starts walking back to his car. "I'm... yeah, I'm going."

"Okay, we'll go and take Tomato face here back home," Marjorie snickers.

I slap her gently on the arm, "Wait, home?"

Marjorie smiles, sweetly, "Technically speaking, your home is now my house for six more days."

Covering my face with my hands, I wave good-bye to the drunken boy as he shut the door, and again wave at him through the living room window.

A piercing thought comes into my head. I wondered, looking up at the clouds before asking.

"Does he kiss all of you when drunk?"

"Yeah," Lance smirks. "He kissed me on my chin once."

Marjorie snorts, "Incest."

"Fuck off, Marjorie."

Maybe that kiss wasn't special. But it felt special, like nothing in the span of my life have I experienced a touch like that from someone's lips.

Marjorie and I change out of our clothes into fresh, home clothes and eventually hopped onto Skype. I lie down in her bed, not wanting to involve myself in the call just yet.

The girl named Thu Thu has a soft voice, which drew me to take a peek at the group call. Andre wasn't present at the moment. Thu Thu's eyes meet mine through the screen.

"Marjorie, is that the girl you brought to the backyard party?" The girl tilts her head.

"Yup! This is Skye," Marjorie beckons me to sit beside her. "She's staying with me for a few more days. This sweet thing right here sitting beside me!"

I nod, not caring that Marjorie's loud mouth spilled info about my stay. The ones here during the call, however, were Julianna, Lance, John, Miguel, Tagu, Nick, and Thu Thu.

Marjorie stirs in her seat and brings two fingers up onto my cheek to squeeze them, "SOO CUTEE OHMYGOD."

"Stop this right now, this is assault," I glare at her as my cheeks puff up.

"Oh!" Thu Thu smiles, her teeth gleaming, practically blinding us even through a computer screen. Her voice was peaceful to hear but also very energetic. It made me feel good. "Would you be interested in camping with us?"

I look down at the floor, rubbing my arm, "Are you sure it's okay with you guys?"

John shouts, "C'mon Skye! Of course, it's okay! Who's gonna light up our fires for s'mores and stuff?"

I burst into a small fit of laughter.

"Well shit, now that you mention that, I do need to come. I don't wanna wake up the next day, not knowing you all caused a forest fire."

They all laugh at my joke, and I admittedly feel good about myself just a teeny bit.

"Good one, Skye," Miguel says, flashing me a thumbs up.

"Enough!" Thu Thu yells, waving her hands frantically to get our attention.

Thu Thu was a sweet girl; she's already tied for the most compliments ever given to me. Marjorie had commented on my face and outfits in the past, but Thu Thu showered me with endless amounts of recognition about my black lipstick and the rest of my face. I was flattered but told her to stop as I wasn't all that comfortable with that kind of praise all the time.

The conversation meanders, all of us agreeing quickly to go on this camping trip. Andre joins the call shortly after. There was my heart again, skipping beats.

"If I have a car by then, I will," Andre stretches, sounding less hazy from when we last visited him. "I'm planning to get an SUV. I can carry extra cargo for anyone, including mine."

"SUVs are kind of small?" Lance points out, shooting a few kernels of popcorn into his mouth.

"I said extra, so that means, not anything too crazy," Andre replies, almost stuttering. "I can bring a ten-man tent. And I'm assuming everyone is coming? Skye?"

I hesitate, muttering, "Yeah, I guess so."

"I think we all wanna bring our own tents," Marjorie implies, putting an arm around me. "I don't wanna be cramped up in a giant one, especially with Lance and Julianna, and Jolo."

Andre nods, and purses his lips, "Okay, that seems fair."

As we talk about the details more and more, eventually, one-by-one, everyone begins to log off. Andre says goodbye, subtly winking at me before ending his call. My heart flutters, barely raising a hand to wave in return.

Marjorie shuts off the computer, then leans to look at me.

"Get some sleep, Skye."

I nod, rubbing my eyes.

"Goodnight," I say apathetically, but embraced Marjorie, holding her tightly. We pull away, and she quietly shut her door as I step out into the hallway.

I yawn, making my way into the washroom to brush my teeth.

I enter the guest room, rolling myself into the blanket and turning off the lamp on the tiny nightstand. Suddenly, my phone buzzes.

**_ANDRE_ **

_Wow, we both replied late. Haha._ _😂😂_

_Wanna stay up again?_

_Sure! Let's just try sleeping earlier than 5?_ 🙃

_😂😂 I'll try just for you._

_Awe._

_How'd you get sober so quick?_

_I'm not sober._

_Oh_ 😂😂

_Yeah, I just got less drunk after drinking dinner and eating milk._

_Read what you just said._

_What's wrong with what I said?_

_Look closely._

_Fuck_. _Same difference_ _😂😂_

😂😂

_Hey look out the window, if the guest room has a window you can reach that is._

_What's that supposed to mean?_ _😑_

_Ur short._

_Don't need to remind me._

I lazily sit upright then gaze out the decently sized rectangular window. Glancing back down on my phone, I begin typing quickly.

_Okay, I'm looking._

_We stargazing now._

A small smile forms across my face.

 _Wow, this is too cheesy. Even for you_ _😂_

_The stars you're looking at right now..._

_Are the stars you're looking at so wherever we are in the world you'll know we'll be looking at the same stars so we'll never be far apart blah blah blah I've seen this before on a Tumblr post_

_Not even close to what I was gonna say lol_ _😂😂_

I embarrassingly throw my phone onto the floor of the room, not caring how loud its impact was. I didn't answer for a good ten minutes.

_What were you gonna say? I'm sorry I got ahead of myself._

_😂😂 I was gonna say, the stars we're looking at right now are the same ones we're gonna look at together during the camping trip._

_That would be nice, actually._

_Good, because stargazing is like, my hobby._

_I'm fond of that too, don't worry._

_Yay:3_

_Are you gonna tell the others to stargaze with us?_

_Of course, I am. We can go as a family._

I whimper. The edges of my cheeks are sticky and warm with tears as I bring my hand up to touch my face. I flick them away, rubbing my eyes to see my phone screen clearer in that dark room.

 _Yes, as a family_ 💕😎

 _Yay, you're one of us now!!!_ 😆😂

 _Woah there, not just yet. This is gonna need some getting used too._ _😕😕_

 _You'll get there. I know you will_ _😁😁_

_ONE OF US. ONE OF US._

_Please don't chant that when we leave._

_No promises, Skye-with-an-e_

I shut my eyes and hold my phone close to my chest as if I were hugging him here. I imagine feeling his soft, warm lips touch my forehead as he did earlier. My heart soars.

My mind, however, was urging me to look at my wrists. As I glance at my arms, I slowly unroll the sweatshirt I wore for pajamas and focus on the scars of my forearms. I shouldn't have to do this anymore. But a sudden urge of needing to do it keeps tempting me to add a few more fresh wounds. Everything today felt like it was going my way for once, but I still didn't feel in control. I get up and pull a razor blade from out of my bag, then suddenly, my phone vibrates loudly, causing the mattress to make an unnatural sound.

 **_ANDRE_ ** _  
I'm glad I met you, Skye._ _😊_

My senses came back to me. My breathing was staggered as I rush into the washroom and flush the razor blade down the toilet. It was hard, letting go of the thing that allowed me some control in my life. Sweat drips from my forehead, watching the blade spiral and disappearing.

It occurs to me at this moment, as the blade spirals down into nothingness, was that metal object had control of me. The first few moments of cutting made me think that I could control this aspect of my life, pain. The pain was all around me, left and right, every corner I turned, continually beating me down to a pulp, so my logic was, if I could make myself feel pain, I would be able to control it, ready to resist other people's harmful actions against me.

However, if I ever kept cutting, especially while knowing the only people who ever gave a shit about me found out, they would be badly hurt. Andre, Marjorie, Julianna, Lance, all of them would get hurt. They'd feel more pain than I did, knowing that their friend was doing this to herself while all of them stood around me, realizing they should have helped me more. I had to tell them, I didn't want them to find out about it, or hear about it any other way unless it was from my lips alone.

Entering into my room, I sit atop my bed, hugging my knees, thinking about how and what I would have to tell them when the time came. Another buzz awoke me from my own thoughts; it was from Andre again.

 **_ANDRE  
_ ** _Skyee? Did you fall asleep before me??_

The talk Lance had given me back at New Island flashed into my mind, the same words echoing over and over again. I thought about what Lance had said and decided to listen to his voice bouncing around in my head.

I let out a sigh of bliss and look dreamily at my phone. My heart skips a beat, again and again, the butterflies were there, fuck, everything was there. Lance and Marjorie were right, this feeling was indescribable, but I'm accepting it. No looking back, I think this was it. I understood.

_No I didn't. I just went to the washroom sorry haha_

I stare at the brightly lit screen, the room becoming slightly visible. The phone screen illuminated the room alone.

"I'm glad I met you, too," I tell myself, and tell him, hoping somehow and someway, he heard me


	20. Be Kind

_July. 14, 2019  
_

_4:00 PM_

Marjorie's POV

It was Skye's last day yesterday.

A few tears fall as we begin to say our goodbyes, mostly from me. I'd just arrived at a giant Mansion located on the east side of Saskatoon in Brevoort Park. There's a fountain at the very centre of the front lawn, garden gnomes looking towards the sidewalk in front of a few patches of colourful flowers. In front of the two-garage driveway, there are two vibrant cars parked there.

I bring myself into Skye's arms, embracing her tightly and leaning on her shoulder. She pats my back awkwardly but tightens the hug herself. As I pull away, I glance towards the giant mansion.

"This is yours?" I look up in awe, still sniffling, as I stand beside her, crossing my arms.

Skye scoffs in disgust, "It's my parents'. It doesn't belong to me at all."

I hesitate to step closer beside her, "I'm gonna miss you."

"Marjorie, I'm seeing you in two weeks, maybe even later," Skye snorts, texting away at her phone.

"Huh?"

"Andre invited me to hang out at his place," Skye flashes her screen towards me. "He said he had a surprise."

I giggle, "I should give you two alone time. How about that?"

Skye glares at me, but shoots me a sly smile, "Yeah, sure."

I perk up, realizing what she meant seeing her in two weeks and shake her shoulders violently, "OH YEAH! CAMPING IS IN TWO WEEKS!"

"Yeah, it is," Skye answers dryly, holding her ground.

I let go of her and notice her swaying back and forth, "Oh my god, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Skye wobbles for a bit, dizzy. "All the mushy stuff you made me feel all week has got me feeling _edgy._ "

I squint at her, beginning to massage my brow, "What does that even mean?"

She shrugs, "Edgy."

"Repeating the word doesn't answer my question."

"Okay," Skye drops her gaze onto the cracks of concrete and sighs. "I'm just a bit overwhelmed. I don't wanna be back here."

"You said your parents weren't home," I add, escorting her to the front door.

Skye rubs her arm, nervously, "They'll be home soon."

I lift her chin, drawing her attention to me. Her cheeks turn pink, "I'll tell Andre your address. You live damn far; he gets lost easily."

She bites her lip at the mention of his name, her eyes falling onto the corner of the door.

When I turn to look at her, she jerks her head away from me, refusing to meet my gaze.

"Skye?"

"He's my peace in the storm, that's all," Skye admits, clearing her throat. "You should probably go, I still need to unpack."

"Can't I help you?" I ask her, tugging her arm sleeve.

She staggers back, "No if my parents catch you here, we're both dead."

I scratch my head in disappointment, "I'll tell my parents you miss them already then."

Skye groans, "Yes, please tell them that. I miss Chicken a-- wait- adobo? Is that right?"

"Yes, and work on your accent," I tease.

"Sorry," Skye enters the code on the door's lock. She swings her door open after a few clicks on the keypad. "I think no one's home."

I step back, "I'll see you around, Skye. I'll miss you."

"Don't miss me too much," Skye smiles tightly, and briefly. "If you stop by Andre's you'll see me again."

The door swings shut — my back slumps. Being at home by myself is going to be boring again. Of course, my dog is there, but all he did was lay around on the couch all day. He wasn't even interested in Skye being there.

I enter the car, and in the corner of my eye, I see the faint shape of a person through a window. I wave at Skye as she shows me her shiny electric guitar through the glass. I stick my tongue out and text her.

_Q_ _UIT FLEXING RICH KID_

_**SKYE  
** _ _I'll bring this along to Andre's later, how about that?_

_OKAY I'LL COME NOW_

_That's what I thought._

I chuck my phone into the passenger seat and drive out of the cul-de-sac where Skye's house resides on.

On the way home, I start to worry about Skye increasingly. What would her parents do once they find her in her house? She was supposed to be back, but what if they just hurt her even more? I just had to trust she was strong; she's proved that much to me during her stay.

What worried me most was that she didn't like Skyping by herself, because of her call and phone anxiety, which meant she wouldn't be open in joining a call with us. At least she would still chat with us. There's always an at least, but throughout my years, I learned that an 'at least' would never be enough, we'd have to be there for Skye more now that she's home.

Skye lives all the way here in the Eastside of Saskatoon, and we all, unfortunately, live on the Westside. This factor means we won't be able to see her during her Sophomore year of High School. She attended a great school; she made mention of her old friends countless times, but I doubt she'll encounter them any time soon.

She told us all, she kept a low profile and only talked to people inside of class. Skye often made people think she was aloof. Of course, she was embarrassed to tell us about the silent good deeds she had done around her school. For one thing, she was part of the techies during a school play.

She said that she loved doing Tech for the school plays because people can appreciate tech without having to know it was her who did it.

I return home; gas was nearly empty. I need to warn Andre to gas his mom's van up before picking her up later.

"No need," Andre smiles smugly into the webcam. "If you walk to my house right now, you're in for a treat."

My eyes light up, "Did you cook soup again?"

Andre chuckles, "No! Just come!"

I murmur and cross my arms, "I don't wanna walk, though!"

"I promise it'll be worth it if you come," Andre pleads. "FOR ME??"

I inhale deeply, "I hate you."

"I love you," Andre makes fish lips at me, his face making me crack a tiny smile. "There it is! Aight, see you then."

He ends the call. Instead of finding running shoes and a new pair of leggings, I plant myself onto my bed, sprawling out and stretching. I let out a loud groan before getting up and changing into suitable walking clothes. It's twenty-nine degrees Celcius according to my phone.

I skip along to my fridge and pour my water bottle with cold water. Before I head out, I take a gulp of water and brace myself for the sweltering hot outdoors.

I'm maybe a few blocks away from Andre's. The orange sun is high up in the sky, sending down rays of heat, almost unbearable to resit against. The clouds were occasionally giving me shade from the painfully warm air, but it's not enough. I take a sip of my water, already panting out of breath as I near his street.

There's no discernable shortcut to Andre's house, just go straight from where I lived. I pass by a crescent that houses an elementary school called St. Peter. I'm tempted to take a left and cross the street, there's a large amount of shade there, the greener than usual trees swaying in the warm winds.

I shake my head, choosing to keep moving forward. I'm maybe a few minutes away. These minutes were going to be the longest minutes of my life.

Oh, thank, God, his front door is wide open.

I use the last of my strength to sprint and dive into his air-conditioned house. I shut the door loudly, breathlessly setting down onto the stairs leading to the inner parts of the house. I gasp for more air and water; sweat glistening from my face.

"Marjorie?" A familiar voice beckons me to crawl up the remaining steps.

I try looking over the railing, but I could see no one.

I hopefully look on at my two friends sitting on the couch.

"Skye, you're here already?"

She strums on the purple electric guitar, making that satisfying sound through the amplifier.

"Before I come and steal that from you, can you please get me a towel and more water?" I shake my empty bottle in the air and Andre rises from the couch, scurrying to his pantry.

He tosses me the towel from across the house, and it landed sloppily in my arms. I buried my face in that towel, wiping every droplet of sweat that escaped my pores.

"Oh, god, thanks so much, I love you," I let myself fall to the floor.

A gentle tap on my hip causes my head to jerk behind me.

"You're getting the floor all moist, Marjorie!"

"I'm sorry," I gasp and swipe the now filled bottle from his hands. I bolt upright and place the towel next to me on the floor. I start to drink as my life depended on it.

"Do you have any idea, how hot it is outside?" I ask, finally steadying my breathing.

Andre shakes his head, laying his head on Skye's shoulder, "I'm sorry. I would have told you, but I figured you were halfway there already."

Are you kidding me?

I frustratingly got up. I glare into his eyes, splashing water into his face, "Thanks."

Andre brings a finger up to his brow and flicks off a few droplets of water, "That was certainly refreshing."

He remains focused on the electric Skye was hoisting, her small arms wrapping around the guitar.

"It's bigger than you almost," I smirk, grazing my hand against the amp.

"That's a major over-exaggeration, Marjorie," Skye says, sarcastically. "I hate how that's almost true."

"Where's Adrian?" I ask Andre, looking over my shoulder.

Andre shrugs, and pointed towards a door, "In his room, I think."

Just then, familiar guitar riff started to ring inside my ear.

"Oh my, Andre loves that song." I subtly wink at Skye, who then mumbles at me to 'fuck off.'

The boy leans in closer to her, his eyes becoming lost as he stares at her longer. He hums softly along with the music with Skye correctly reciting every note. It was a short riff, but the look on Andre's face suggests he's bubbling in awe and shock. The moment seemed to have lasted more for him than I.

Skye's eyes flicker, turning her attention to the boy, who was now inches away from her face.

Andre sighs dreamily, "Ah, a woman after my own heart."

The redhead's dark blue eyes inspect his thoroughly, "I... Thanks?"

Andre leans in; I watched in pure excitement. Was he gonna do it?

"I can play the piano part, and Marjorie can sing!" Andre pulls away and makes his way to his keyboard. "I'll start!"

I bring a palm to my face, growling angrily, "Andre, you idiot!"

Skye raises her eyebrows concernedly knowing exactly why I did snap. She suddenly kicks my shin, urging for me to shut up. I wince in pain and turn to face her, the edges of her cheeks glowing red.

"What'd I do?" Andre spins around, sounding panicked. "Did I forget to lock the door? Did you lock it?"

I clear my throat and smile, trying to play it off cool, "Nothing, don't worry about it."

Skye pretends to focus on tuning her guitar, lowering her head enough to hide the crimson flush on her face. Earlier this week, she told me about her crush on Andre, but she wasn't all too comfortable making it known to him and even fully accepting it herself.

She explained to me; she wanted him to come to her. As clichè as it was for her to want the boy to make the first move, it was understandable. They've only known each other for maybe, a little over a week, and Skye had never had these types of feelings before, it would be foreign for her to try and pursue him now.

Not to mention, we don't entirely know if Andre has moved on from his past relationship or even fully prepared himself for someone new. It seemed as if Andre did have feelings for Skye, but Andre is a flirty guy, and we often mistake his flirting with just genuine affection. He knows it all too well that he can't be reckless and just leap into a relationship. They're hard work, especially if the last break up was hard.

"You ready, Skye-with-an-e?" Andre beams, flashing her a broad smile and finger guns.

Skye blushes and tucks her hair, "Yeah, let's do this. And don't call me that."

"It's a guilty pleasure now," Andre smirks. "And it's my nickname for you, so feel special."

Skye rolls her eyes, "Marjorie is singing, right?"

"Do I have to sing?" I ask, crossing my arms. "Bohemian Rhapsody is hard to pull off."

"I can't sing, and Skye doesn't wanna sing," Andre shrugs. "So you sing. You have the voice of an angel. I bet you can sing it perfectly."

"What?" I laugh, biting my lip. "Even I know you're joking when you say that."

Andre puffs his cheeks, "Fine, don't accept the compliment." He looks at me, his eyebrows scrunching. He shifts in his seat until he was facing the piano. "Just fucking sing, okay? Please?"

Welp, he's serious. I drink a few more sips of water, then take a seat on top of the coffee table next to the window in his living room.

"I'll skip the acapella, just go right to the ballad," Skye demands, testing her guitar with a few plucks on the strings. "Did you guys get that?"

Andre and I nod. He starts us off, playing the very recognizable piano ballad during the beginning of the song.

As we finish one of the greatest songs of all time, Skye looks like she is very deep in thought. Her lips are pursed, and she has a fist tucked under her chin.

"What's the matter, Skye?" Andre gets up, making his way over to her and sitting down beside her.

"Nothing. I just wish I had my drums here," Skye sighs, the tone in her voice becoming very soft. "I like doing the drum part better than the guitar solo."

Andre tilts his head and grin, "I understand, is that your main instrument?"

Skye nods and sucks in her lip as her eyes meet his, "You got that right."

"My vocal cords are tired," I chime in, stretching and rubbing my throat.

"Yeah," Andre replies with a laugh. "Because you decided to scream 'Mama' instead of actually singing it."

The three of us had a good laugh. I notice the kitchen counter had cardboard boxes scattered ontop, "What's all that?"

Andre sits up straight, flattening his shirt, "Oh! It's for camping; I'm planning to bring some foodstuff with us."

I sit myself down on the piano bench, pressing the button to power on the keyboard.

"I thought Thu Thu was doing that?" I wondered as I began to play random nursery rhymes on his keyboard.

"She's bringing the real food," Andre pauses and think for a moment. "I'm bringing seasoning and stuff, and condiments."

"I was gonna bring that," Skye adds subtly, giving Andre a look.

Andre looks from Skye to me with a frown, "Well, fuck. Have the stuff in the box, then."

Skye chuckles, "Alright, more for me to bring along."

"You're putting it in my car anyway, I don't think it matters that much," Andre reassures her, rubbing her back.

"Your car?" I wonder, crossing my arms. "You're getting awfully bold if you're calling your mom's car yours."

Andre and Skye share a mischievous look.

"Show her," Skye says, dramatically. "I'm sure she'll be amazed."

"Show me what?" I back up as they pull me up onto my feet. "Surprised about what? What's happening?"

"One question at a time, madam," Andre grins widely as they dragged me down the stairs and opened the door leading into the garage next to the front door.

"Wait, the front door is this way!" I try pulling towards the front door, but despite Skye's small body, she shoves me in front of the garage's entrance.

"Open it," Skye gestures at the door.

"Why?"

"No questions, just do as the redhead says," Andre gives Skye a sly look before returning his attention to me.

They give me tight broad smiles, admittedly scaring me and sending a shiver down my spine.

I reluctantly open the door.

"Holy shit."

I gawk at the sight of a new Honda CRV.

After a few moments of staring wide-eyed at the shiny new car, Skye taps my shoulder, bringing me out of my amazement.

"Is it 2018?" I stutter, still feeling shocked about the car.

"2019," Andre corrects, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and smirked. "Let's go cruising. Skye needs to grab something for me at her house anyway."

"Two things, actually," Skye says dryly, dragging Andre by the arm towards the shiny new vehicle.

My mouth gapes open, "Is it registered? Are we allowed to ride in it?"

Andre winks, "No one will find out, just tell me if there are any cops."

I gasp, putting a hand over my mouth, "Andre, we're going across the city, are you sure?"

He shrugs sluggishly, not showing a hint of concern, "I picked her up already, didn't I?"

"Good point," I make my way to the back of the car. "Don't kill us."

"Don't worry," Andre simpers cockily. "I won't do what Lance did after Skye revealed her sum of nine-hundred dollars."

Skye stammers, rolling her eyes and, looking down at her thighs.

"I trust you."

Andre's eyes widen, and his mouth gapes for a moment, "You do?"

He fumbles his voice, awkwardly scratching the back of his head, "Wait, you meant you trusted me driving, nevermind."

His lips curve, a small frown forming and his eyes are shining with a hint of disappointment.

Skye's eyes focus towards me, pleadingly asking me for help. I gesture her to say something, and mouth to her, "It's okay."

Skye sighs, "It's a leap of faith." She hovers a hand over his and let it fall ontop, gripping it tightly.

Andre's face lit up like a candle in the dark of night, "You remembered."

"Of course, I did," Skye smiles and cocks her head to the side. "How could I forget something important like that?"

"You're surprisingly not sarcastic today," Andre replies quietly, his usually loud voice softening significantly.

"You got quiet," Skye quips. "Hmm.."

Andre tilts his head, squinting as he stares at Skye's dark blue eyes, "You know, now that I'm looking closely at you, there's a bit of green in the blue of your eyes."

Skye blushes furiously, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "And... your point is?"

"It's cute," Andre runs a hand through his hair, keeping it up, which causes Skye's already reddened cheeks to darken.

"You're... sweet," Skye uncharacteristically didn't counteract Andre's compliment like she always did, either telling him to stop or ignoring him entirely. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say that."

Andre leans in, hovering his lip over her forehead, but he didn't seal the deal.

I slip off my shoe and kick the driver seat with my foot repeatedly, "Quit flirting and drive!"

Andre pulls back quickly, looking from me to Skye, blinking repeatedly. With one final kick, he finally presses the ignition button without a word. Skye slumps in her seat, plopping in two earbuds and staring out the window.

He backs out of the driveway, and soon we were off on the road.

The journey was nearly half an hour long.

As we park against the curb facing Skye's mansion, I notice Andre's gas tank was nearly below half.

Skye leaves the car, quickly rushing inside her house to gather whatever items she was supposed to pick up.

"Do I need to gas you up?" I tap his shoulder as my eyes gazed at the mansion up and down.

Andre shakes his head with a smile, "No, it's all good."

Skye emerges from the mansion, carrying a bass guitar case. It didn't seem like she was struggling to move the bass as she was walking over to us. Andre sighs, leaving his car and then jogs up to her, yanking the case gently from her hand.

"No, I got it," Skye reaches in to grab the bass guitar case, but Andre was already far from her grasp. "You don't have to do everything for me, y'know?"

"Shush," Andre makes his way towards the trunk of his CRV. "Marjorie, help her get the amp."

Without question, I follow Skye into the gigantic mansion. My jaw drops to the floor. I eye the giant interior of the building. They had plenty of furniture; their couches were leather, not to mention, looked brand new and incredibly soft. Shiny marble flooring that looks new and the rugs in the living room and leading to the second-floor look in great shape. Her family is so fucking wealthy.

I notice family pictures in fancy framing. I snicker, seeing Skye wear something so foreign to her fashion sense is eery and unusual to see. Goth did suit her best. I still think she can rock anything, though. When she needed clothes during our meetup at Riverlanding, she had to wear some of my clothes.

In the same picture I'd been gazing at, I see a peculiar boy with red hair next to Skye, wearing a tuxedo.

"He looks familiar."

I shrug it off when Skye appears from the basement doors, grappling the big bass amp in her tiny hands.

Giggling, I march next to her and lift the amp from one side, "Okay, now grab the other."

She did so, and we both start to struggle together as we heave it halfway to Andre's car. Well, I'm struggling. Skye laughs silently, knowing well that she could carry the amp on her own.

"How are you not shaking?" I ask, panting out of breath.

Skye laughs, "C'mon, Marjorie. My arms are thinner than yours."

We make it halfway across the pavement, both of us giving up and setting it onto the concrete.

"Well, you tried, Marjorie," Skye breathes heavily. "Even if it felt like I was carrying the amp alone, thanks."

I roll my eyes with a grin, "Jesus, you're really strong."

"Not really, no," Skye says with a neutral expression. "Andre! Can you help? Marjorie's dying."

Andre nods before scurrying over. He lifts the amp and pushes it into the trunk next to the case. He gestures for us to return to our seats inside the car.

We just got home. Andre had to gas up at a convenience store near Skye's house. Skye and I offered to pay, but he refused.

"Are your parents home?" I question him, plugging in the bass amp.

"Nope. So, we can make all the noise we want."

"I might head home," I say, letting out a sigh. "Your driving was stressful."

He crosses his arms, "You're still alive, aren't you?" He reaches for my face and cups it. "Very much alive. I can feel your face right now."

I smack his hand away, playfully, "I can walk home, it's cool enough."

Skye leads me to the front door, "I'm staying for a little bit. Andre there wants to recreate Bohemian Rhapsody. I don't think it'll work without a singer."

Andre dangles his head over the railing, "It will! Have faith!" His head disappears, and we hear the low hum of the bass ringing out.

I give her a playful smile, "Don't have too much fun. You guys are only 'friends' after all."

I briefly hug Skye before shutting the door behind me.

The walk home was very peaceful, as the sunset illuminated the street with an orange tint everywhere I looked. All I could think about was how hopeful the future was. God only knows what would happen next.

Andre's POV

Skye sits herself down on the couch, "How are we gonna do this?"

I click around on Skye's MacBook before scurrying over to the keyboard.

"I can plug in the keyboard to the laptop here," I jerk my thumb behind me towards the laptop. "I can also plug the two guitars in."

"What's the point of the amps then?" Skye asks, furrowing her eyebrows.

I think for a moment before answering, "Playing around after?"

Skye smiles softly, "Sounds like a plan, I suppose."

She plugs in an adapter that allows connecting the two guitars into the MacBook. It's essentially our amplifier, but we can only record one instrument at a time.

I'm surprisingly excited about today. I did have a few drinks the night before, maybe even a little more than a few. I started to suspect that I may have gained quite the drinking problem but shrugged it off. I'm just going to assume the cravings will go away soon. It was becoming an addiction, but just doing this project with Skye let me escape those thoughts and cravings.

"Too bad we couldn't pack my drumset," Skye frowns. "We won't be able to do this without the drums."

"How so?" I ask, testing a few keys on the piano that's plugged into the laptop.

"Well, the drum will let us know what tempo to play in each time we have to switch instruments," Skye explains, sinking into the couch, still retaining the massive frown on her face.

I lift her chin with my finger, "Don't fret, Scout. We can use Garageband."

She lifts her head, showing a glimmer of delight before speaking, "Scout?"

"Like, you know," I point to the books laid down neatly on the cupboards next to the couches. "To Kill A Mockingbird."

She nods, "Yes, I know. I'm just confused why you would call me that."

"Why, what's wrong with it?"

Skye smirks. Inhaling slowly and leaning her head back into the couch.

"Well, Scout was a hopeful kid that was generally happy, playful, full of life and loud. She had a great dad that taught her everything she needed to know how to live a clean, healthy life. Then there's me, quiet, and boring. I also would rather spend my days alone, with horrible parents that taught me that even the people who were supposed to care for you, don't at all."

I wince. I stroke her cheek gently with my knuckle. She subtly leans into it, a bit of resistance against my hand.

"You're also lovely and caring just like Scout was," I remain seated next to her on the couch, gazing into her glistening eyes longer. "You also know when to appreciate human goodness, without having to ignore human evil. And you're _soo_ not boring. You can learn as much as she did without your parents, you've gotten this far already, haven't you?"

She opens her mouth, but she couldn't find the words to argue with mine, "Ugh, whatever."

"You're also very generous like she was," I snort, bringing an arm around her. "I think you'd rather spend your days with us instead."

"More like with you," Skye mutters under her breath, quickly shaking her head, breaking herself out of her thoughts. "Sorry, that was weird to say."

I poke her forehead with a nervous chuckle, "I'd rather spend my day with you, too."

Skye's face brightens but preserves a calm expression, "Alright, then."

With a breath, I make my way over to the laptop on the coffee table, kneeling in front of it, "Let's get started, I wanna see if this ends up good."

I'm leaning over the computer, typing 'Garageband' in the search bar of the start menu. Skye crouches down and gets in between me and the computer, finding her self trapped in between my arms.

My heart starts to race as she leans into my shoulders.

"Move, you're too slow."

I gulp, feeling my face heating up as if it were above an open flame, "Uhm, okay."

I depart my arms from beside her, freeing space for her to crouch down and set up Garageband. An overbearing silence falls in the living room; I awkwardly shuffle around on the floor.

"Done," Skye says frigidly, pulling the headset up off her head and passing it to me.

I kneel beside her, taking the headset out of her hands. I place them snuggly on my head, and my foot started to tap to the sound of the drumbeat involuntarily.

Skye hangs her head, "I know it's not a real set. I did my best trying to figure out which drums to use."

"Well, you do know which ones to use, right?"

She rubs her shoulder and keeps her eyes fixated on the floor, "Like I said, I did my best."

"It's perfect," I smile, wrapping my arm around her shoulder. "Absolutely, positively perfect."

Skye perks her head up, looking genuinely surprised, "Really?"

"Yeah, that'll keep me in tempo," I add, sitting down on the piano bench.

"Who's gonna sing?" She asks, hovering over me as I adjust the sound of the keyboard.

I shrug, "We can use the piano for the words. I would sing, but we would need lots of autotune."

Skye grins briefly, crossing her arms, "Are you sure it's gonna work? Can't you sing?"

"You ain't hearing me sing anytime soon," I nudge her thigh with my elbow and look up at her.

I begin to play the song's lyrics but on the piano, which admittedly took more takes than just three. It was frustrating, but once I got the hang of it, Skye was humming the lyrics with me.

The piano part for the lyrics finishes, forcing a calm, heavy breath out of me, "That took way longer than expected."

Skye checks the time on her phone, biting her lip, "Seven o'clock."

I shoot up slightly, panicked, "Jesus Christ! Don't you have to be home?"

Skye's face falls significantly, water welling up under her eyes, "My curfew is eight. I don't understand why I have a curfew, anyway. You know, since they kick me out all the time."

"No, no, no, no, c'mere," I catch the sad look in her eyes while she glances past my face, and I reflexively envelop her small body in my arms.

"What are you doing?" Skye tenses up, then ponderously pats her hand on my shoulder in intervals.

I pull away reluctantly, still clutching onto her shoulder and brushing her red hair with my finger, "I felt like I needed to comfort you."

Skye tilts her head, "How would you know if I needed comforting?"

I tug on her arm to move closer to me, "I can just tell if you're sad or upset. Hell, I can tell if anyone is sad or upset."

"Don't assume things, Andre," Skye hesitates. "Did you know for sure, or did you just guess?"

"I knew, I promise," I grasp her hands and hold them close to my chest. "Like I said, I can tell when anyone's upset easily, and I can tell if our friends are, too. It's no different for you. But between you and me, you're more important."

"Me? Important?" Skye gives me a weak, but pleasant smile, "Thanks. A lot."

I turn back around and crack my knuckles. I start to play the main piano parts of Bohemian Rhapsody.

This time it took fewer takes. I had finished it. I hear about four sets of hands clapping. I peep over my shoulder to see Skye, my parents and, Adrian clapping.

"Oh, you guys are here now," I leap off the bench to hug my parents. "You've met Skye."

"Yes, we did," My mom smiles gently at her. "We bought KFC for dinner."

Skye grins awkwardly at them as my family caught her eye, "Hello, Mr And Mrs Macatangay. And Adrian."

Adrian beams and waves at Skye before going over to the island in the kitchen to help my dad.

"Hello," My mom greets her with a soft voice, gesturing for her to come to the table. "Stay for dinner. Andre's dad is preparing rice right now, so eat lots."

Skye's eyes widen, her face going a bit crimson. She fiddles with the black bracelet around her arm, "No, it's okay. You don't have too. I can eat at home."

I giggle and place my hands on her hips, "Too bad; you're staying." I push her towards the table.

She laughs loudly before stopping herself, struggling to get out of my grasp.

"Andre! Stop that tickles!" She puffs as I let go of her, flattening her shirt. "Ahem. Mrs Macatangay?"

My mom tilts her head, "Call me _'tita.'_ It means auntie in Tagalog. But it's how children usually address other adults that aren't related to them."

Skye stutters clumsily, swallowing hard before attempting again, " _Tee-ta._ " She lets out an embarrassed giggle quietly and repeats, trying to say it in the right accent.

"There you go," I whisper. "My mom won't let you leave unless you have dinner with us, so you're stuck here unless you eat."

Skye clicks her tongue, shaking her head and giving into my family's offer, "I guess I'm having chicken for dinner."

I smile widely and pull a chair out for her, "You're the best. We can finish up the rest of the parts tomorrow if you'd like?"

"By the time we finish dinner I'm gonna have to go home," Skye sits down and brings her hands onto the table making eye contact with me. "So, yeah. I'd like that a lot."

We finished up eating dinner. My parents bombarded Skye with questions about school and what she wanted to do in the future, ordinary things Asian parents would ask their child's friend(s). The Skye I got to know during this week wasn't the type of person fond of being questioned. She would always plead with us to stop asking her stuff, every time we bombarded her with questions. Surprisingly enough, she answered all my parents' questions calmly and politely, but the look on her face suggested she was a little bit shy and nervous.

I was coiling the amp chords and placing them in her guitar cases.

I feel a gentle dab on my shoulder, "What is it?"

"Don't pack it up," Skye yawns, closing the guitar cases. "I may as well leave it here if I'm coming back tomorrow."

I scratch my head, somewhat flustered, "Oh, I should've thought of that."

She snickers, checking the time on her phone, "Hey, I can take the bus home. Save your gas."

"You're gonna have to switch busses a lot though," I dig my keys out of my jean pocket. "I'll drive you home again; it's no worries."

"You've done enough for me today," Skye assures me. "I promise I'll be safe on my way home."

I bite my bottom lip, feeling a bit less worried after her reassurance, "Alright, I'll walk you to the bus stop then."

The sun is almost set outside. The roads and sidewalks are scarcely shaded a light violet colour, due to the evening twilight. Skye and I reflect on today's work, laughing and smiling at the mention of one another's mistakes.

"It only took me so long because you kept making fart noises with your tongue," I punch her shoulder playfully. "You're real immature sometimes."

"They weren't fart noises, Dork! I was making razzberries!" Skye rolls her eyes, looking up at me as we continue walking down the street, "If anything, you kept making louder fart noises when you messed up."

"Because I make those noises when I mess up!" I yell, snickering and reflexively grabbing her bicep.

I grip onto her arm gently, then glimpse my eyes at Skye's face. She'd already been looking at me, her dark blue eyes shimmering in the evening light. Her black lipstick is also starting to glisten with the warm evening colours, memorizing me even more.

"Can I help you?" Skye questions, sounding deadpan.

"You're stunning," I can't help but smile at her. She returns it, this time she wasn't holding it back. I toy with the necklace around her neck, letting my knuckles graze her collar bone.

"You tell me that every five seconds," Skye holds my hand which was dangling off her shoulder.

"Yeah, cause' it's true," I beam. "And I'm gonna be reminding you more tomorrow."

Skye scoffs, "Please, don't."

Soon, we find ourselves under the bus stop sign. The big vehicle approaches us closer and closer. In all honesty, I didn't want her to leave, nor did I want to see it.

"I wish you would get on Skype," I suggest. "You could talk to us way more."

"Andre, you know why I don't join your calls," Skye reminds me, peering down at the floor. "I talk in chat anyway."

"Yeah, I know," I dip my head and feel her lace her fingers in between mine. "Yes?"

Skye sighs, brushing my hand softly with her thumb, "I'll send voice messages."

I cheer and excitedly throw my hands up in the air, including hers, "YAY!"

"As much as I hate hearing my own voice," She flashes me a half-smile. "I'll do it for you guys."

The bus makes a loud sound, stopping in front of us, "See you, tomorrow."

I wave at her as she walks through the bus doors, "See you, Skye-with-an-e."

"Don't call me– ah, nevermind. You won't listen," Skye scans her bus pass on the card reader next to the driver.

She lowers her head at me; the bus door is closing slowly. She waves through the window of the bus, and I return it without hesitation. I let out a deep sigh and feel the conflict simmering inside my thoughts.

I've been flirty with Skye, hell, I've been flirty with everyone, even the guys in our group, excluding Lance. There was something; it was in my heart. It would start pumping at the sight of her, a feeling I couldn't ignore.

She leaves me absolutely breathless. I could only conclude that I had feelings for her. Hearing her voice always put me in a trance, as if I were in a pleasant dream. It was hard to accept it, even though I knew they were there. Every moment I've ever had with Skye always felt so special, and the feelings I felt around her are indescribable. Just thinking about her made my legs feel all mushy and weak, and made my heart soar higher, further, faster.

The flapping in my stomach started to happen, too. I haven't felt that in anyone else since Indigo left me. And ever since Indigo and I started dating, no one's ever been able to make me feel that way except her.

That's changed.

It was, however, hard to accept these feelings because I was afraid. If I did end up with Skye, the same thing would happen to me again. I trusted her, but I also trusted Indigo before. It was an internal battle inside me; I didn't know what to do.

Lance would tell me to accept it, but the fear of being knocked into the ground, and buried six feet under always rings in my head like a bell, slowly driving me insane. A very, irritating, annoying ringing that reminded me that there was a possibility I'd end up in the same place I was in two months ago. My parents were home, but I needed to risk it anyway, for the sake of my sanity.

This fear is taking me over, and I needed to suppress it a while longer.

I needed a drink.


	21. Why

J _uly. 18, 2019_

John's POV

I'm in the middle of a Skype call with Miguel, Tagu, Thu Thu, and Nick. We're talking about the camping details for the 22nd. We mostly discussed how long we were going to stay, what activities we were going to do, and the supplies.

"Pike Lake has a swimming pool," Tagu says. "It also has a beach by the lake, so we have plenty of options for swimming and relaxing."

Nick beams at the thought, "Speaking of the lake, we could all pitch in to go boating."

I laugh, "The paddleboats? Or the kayaks and stuff?"

"Obviously, the paddleboats," Nick replies giddily. "None of us know how to kayak."

The conversation meanders, and an idea appears to me in my head. 

"FISHING?"

"None of us know how to fish?" Thu Thu corrects me, scratching her head. "I don't even think we can go fishing there."

"Look on the website," I copy the link to _'Tourism Saskatchewan'_ and paste it into the Skype Group chat. "Fishing hotspots. There's a close one and, one that's far."

Tagu's eyebrows wrinkle, "I think none of us would want to go fishing unless it's Andre. In plus, fishing licenses are expensive."

Everyone agrees to themselves. I slump down in my chair, "No fresh dinner for you guys then."

"I'm already bringing enough food," Thu Thu points to a box of canned goods and other foodstuffs at the back of her room. "Skye is bringing the seasoning and other things."

We all agree as a group that each of us had assigned items we needed to bring. 

Thu Thu and Skye have the food-related stuff. Andre has flammable shit to bring, as well as barbeque skewers, kitchen utensils, cups, and plates. I'm chosen to carry the tents, as we estimated I had the most space left out of everyone's cars. Andre did have a new CRV, but he was also bringing along Skye's acoustic guitar, and extension cords for some lanterns we can light up at night, just in case the fire isn't enough.

Tagu was bringing swimming gear pool toys, like inflatable tubes and rafts, water guns for each of us, and water balloons. As well as sunscreen, bugspray, and a cooler full of water, soda, and booze - hopefully, we can be sneaky enough to conceal it from security - and a water boiler. She had put it upon herself to gather those things.

Of course, like the children we were, wanted to have a water gun and water balloon fight. 

Lance and Julianna were both bringing the sleeping bags, inflatable beds, extra pillows, blankets, and inflators for blowing the beds up.

Nick was bringing a small trailer with a working stove, sink, and toilet. He also suggested we should all go hiking, so he got us all hiking boots, and backpacks, each of us just had to bring our supplies. Finally, Miguel and Marjorie were bringing tables, chairs, and a giant blue mat for shade. Both of them were carrying the same thing, so there were plenty of chairs to go around.

"We could stay there for a week," Miguel suggests. "But, is everyone willing to pitch in that much money? It's going to be over five-hundred dollars if we want to stay there for a week."

"How'd you do your math?" I ask, confused. "Or did you just look at the website?"

Miguel clears his throat, "If we go swimming at least twice, the weekly pass for swimming for each of us is $25.00 since we're considered adults. There are nine of us, so all together, we spend $200.00. And that's just swimming."

The call falls silent. Tagu taps on her desk eagerly to get our attention, "How about one of us each pays for something. A large camping site with running electricity, swimming pool entry, boating, parking, booking fees, and yeah."

Thu Thu quickly nods, "That sounds about right. Do we all have enough money, though?"

"I hope," I snicker. "I was the only one smarter than all of you to save up for the summer."

Tagu scoffs, "Okay, but you had a job during the school year. And you quit after finals."

"Yeah, I did," I beam. "Part of the reason I quit is that my bank account was nearly bigger than Skye's wallet."

A laugh erupts amongst everyone, and a little after, Tagu calls us again.

"We get it. Let's check in with Marjorie, Andre, Skye, Lance, and Julianna if they're down to do it this way. Since there's nine of us, two people can combine the money they have to pay for one of the things we need during our trip," Tagu adds, cracking her knuckles and adjusting her glasses.

Her mouse clicks repeatedly, and the others were soon being called, all except for Skye. We didn't forget about her call anxiety.

With a ding, there was a pause, but Marjorie's icon didn't have the loading circle, indicating she was present in the call.

Not long after, Marjorie's groggy voice echos in the group call, "What is it?"

"Are you on your phone?" I squint at her as she adjusts her camera on the foot of her bed.

Marjorie nods, "What'd you guys need? I was napping."

"It's noon," Miguel says.

"I sleep in intervals," Marjorie stretches and lets out a long yawn. "Can somebody please answer my question so I could go back to bed again?"

Nick spoke, confidence surging in this tone. He explains the details of the plan to Marjorie, who sits there looking at us, uninterested and bored.

"This was supposed to be a surprise," Marjorie lets out a scratchy sounding giggle. "But, to save you guys from doing something stupid and paying everything right now, Skye already paid for the trip."

 _"What?"_ Everyone shouts in unison, looking into their computer screens.

Marjorie laughs, letting out a tired sigh, "Yeah, sorry to spoil the fun."

Just then, Andre joins, sounding quite frustrated, "Thanks for messing up my bass part, guys."

"Oh!" I dip my head, concealing a smile. "Sorry, we needed to call you for something. I didn't realize you and Skye were still working on that project."

Andre runs a hand through his hair and takes off his glasses. His lips form into a smug smirk, "No worries. We're nearly half-way there. Skye finished the electric solo about three minutes ago."

"I've been here all morning! And we aren't half-way done, you kept messing up before they called, anyway!" Skye shouts across the house, sounding a little faded. She's in the background circling the kitchen, drinking a cup of water.

"And I've been dealing with a hot redhead all morning," Andre catches sight of Skye, glaring daggers at him as she returns to the living room, taking a knee next to him. She groans and smacks him in the back of the head. "OW! HOT-HEADED REDHEAD, I MEAN."

Skye breathes, an annoyed sigh, rubbing her forehead, "Better be that."

Nick again explains the details to Andre. Skye erupts into erratic laughter for a moment, then wipes the whimsical grin off her face. 

"It was never meant to be a surprise; I just told you not to tell them until I paid for it."

"But why?" Miguel crosses his arms.

"You guys would tell me not too," Skye says dryly, shrugging. "In plus, it's my treat for you all being so welcoming and loving."

I snort, "Don't get all mushy; it's the least we could all do for you."

Skye suddenly flashes us all a smile, "It's the most someone has done for me. And there's eight of you, so it's the most people have done for me."

Andre wraps an arm around her, "C'mon, only one part to go."

Thu Thu tilts her head, "It's been nearly three days. How come it's taking you guys so long to finish that?"

Skye's blackened lips purse, "For one thing, it's a six-minute song. And for another, it's hard to play, especially if we have to do it in one go. Garageband is hard to work with when you're trying to sync in the parts."

Andre frowns as well, "And the bass part strains your hand a lot, not to mention, your fingers become tender so, I better get this after we leave."

"You better," Skye playfully hits his arm. "See you guys later, I guess."

We all chorus ' _bye Skye,'_ and momentarily catch a glimpse of her gentle, warm smile.

"See you all later," Skye barely raises a hand to wave good-bye but keeps the small smile on her face.

Andre ends the call, his icon disappearing from it after a few seconds. I smirk.

"Andre is an idiot for picking Bohemian Rhapsody to recreate," I type in chat.

He replies.

_Oh, please. I'm sure you'll like the result too._

_Overrated song_

_You're pushing it, pal, don't say a word, or I'm refunding the purchases. - Skye_

Realizing that message is from Skye, I wasn't about to get on her nerves. We've known her a week, but it was enough time for me to annoy her just once. I still have nightmares about her holding that knife, even if it was a joke.

_Or I kill you. Either way works. I could do both - Skye._

_Im sorry! Geez, why does Andre like someone this terrifying?_

_I don't like her!_

The others giggle silently at our conversation. Marjorie leaves shortly after to finish her afternoon nap. And soon, it was only us five of us again.

Tagu shrugs, looking up into the webcam, "You guys wanna go out?"

"You're funny," I say. "I told you. Y'all don't save money."

"No, bitch," Tagu growls. "I meant, let's all make a Wal-Mart and Canadian Tire trip to see if we can find _extra useful_ stuff to bring along."

"Scoop," I screech, cupping my mouth. "SCOOP!"

"Scoop," Miguel says in a deep voice, giggling and adjusting his glasses.

"I'll come to pick you guys up," Nick arises from his seat. "My mom ain't using the car, and I live the farthest anyway."

"Thanks, Bayet," I smile into the webcam. "I'll go get ready, text when you're here." The call comes to a sudden end. 

I hop into a pair of black jeans. I lazily pick out a dark, navy blue t-shirt from my closet and approach the living room, laying down on one of the couches. It's scorching hot outside, about 30 degrees Celsius in Saskatoon. The house is humid, even with air conditioning and a fan blowing nearby.

A familiar sounding honk comes from outside. I knock quietly on my parents' door, "Ma, pa, aalis na po ako."

My dad calls out to me, asking me where I was going. I tell him I'm just going to be out with a few friends and wouldn't be gone that long. He lets me go, and I emerge from the house, starting towards Nick's car.

I eagerly open the door, then sit next to Tagu, who was now in between Thu Thu and me.

I hold her hand almost instantly, and I slowly feel her fingers lace in mine, "I missed you."

"You're such a flirt," Tagu rolls her eyes, cheeks flushing in deep red. "I missed you too."

Thu Thu screeches, "Awe, you guys official yet?"

"No," I answer, sounding maintained. "Just casually dating. We don't wanna take things too fast, right?"

Tagu beams, her brown eyes locking onto mine, "Yeah, we don't wanna go Lance and Julianna fast."

Miguel laughs, "Good choice."

At some point on our way to Wal-Mart, Tagu rests her head on my shoulder. I stroke her hair as she sleeps. I poke at her glasses and pull them off, along with mine.

I carefully put them on.

"Jesus," I rub my eyes together as I take of Tagu's glasses. "You're blind."

"Says you," She imitates my movements. "Your eyes are worse than mine!"

Tagu and I have been seeing each other from time to time, but never really had the conversation of being official. We both weren't ready for that kind of commitment, but I'm sure in time we will end up together. I hope we do.

The drive to Wal-Mart was short-lived. We all left the car and entered the giant store.

It's the Wal-Mart near our High School in Blairmore. It's one of three Wal-Marts in the city. I remember distinctively all the times my friends and I went out to eat at the McDonalds inside. I only went for the novelty, that being the company of my friends. This is where people usually wasted their money.

"We should buy a barbeque grill," Nick says, pointing at a shiny, black grill on display. "Yeah, seems about right."

My eyes narrow as I catch a glimpse of the price, "I hope you're joking."

Nick flashes me a mischievous smile, then shoots finger guns at me, "Always take me seriously, Joe-low."

He calls over an employee, and he, for sure, was going to buy it. There is no stopping him, so I catch up with the rest of our friends as they venture deeper into Wal-Mart.

"Ooh, look at this," Tagu points to a telescope on display. "Andre suggested we should all go stargazing, wouldn't having this be perfect?"

Miguel is straggling behind, pushing a cart. He has at least ten bags of chips tucked away in the corner of the cart, dipping sauces, and more soda. Thu Thu calls out for Miguel to stop, and as he did, she put at least two more bags. Miguel's face fell.

"Oh, god, my wallet."

Thu Thu brings her hands to her hips, "I'm paying for half of these."

"My wallet," Miguel's back slumps as he followed us, pushing the cart.

Tagu slips her hands into mine once again, and I flash her a crooked smile, "Yes?"

"Oh, nothing," Tagu swings our hands back and forth. "Just contemplating getting that telescope."

"I didn't even know Wal-Mart sold telescopes," I laugh. "It's probably a really crappy one."

Tagu sets aside her other hand in her pocket, and gives me a soft peck to my cheek, "It's better than nothing, at least."

"It's $166," I say, staring back at the telescope. "Maybe it might be better than I think it is."

My phone starts to buzz loudly in my pocket. I dig it out and answer the call from Nick.

"Did you get it?" I ask, putting the call on speaker mode.

Nick stutters, "I should've thought this through. It doesn't fit in the car."

Tagu and I burst into silent chuckling, "Oh no, $200 gone to waste."

"Call Andre to pick it up, please," Nick pleads, his heavy breathing becoming audible.

"He's busy right now," I answer and shake my head. "It wouldn't be wise to ruin a date."

Nick giggles. "I'm sure he won't mind." He pauses. "In plus, I can put it in the pick-up truck I'm using when we eventually leave next week."

"Alright then," I send Andre a quick text. "But if he says no, you're gonna have to get that shipped to your house."

He lets out a long sigh, "Yeah, and that'll cost extra."

Nick has remained in the line for so long and suggests that I'd buy some burgers and steaks to cook on the grill.

"Thu Thu got that already," Tagu adds. "They're in Miguel's cart."

"Oh, sweet! Guys gotta go, Andre is here," Nick ends the call.

I realize that Tagu and I haven't let go of each other's hands during the entire call. She blushes faintly, her face flushing. I smirk and kiss her cheek, then eventually lead her to the toys and games aisle.

Like a little kid, she drags me around the aisles full of board games and toys, touching everything she saw. The look in her eyes shimmers.

Tagu despairingly leaves the aisle of toys, still gripping onto my hand.

"You're holding on my hand a bit too tight there."

"Oh, sorry!" Tagu lets go of my hand to my dismay. "If we do get a board game, it might be too windy to play at night anyway."

"Nick has a trailer," I remind her. "And I don't think our camping-neighbors would appreciate us getting too loud if we buy a game. When we have those occasional board game nights, it gets out of hand quickly."

"Yeah, cause' everyone's competitive as hell," Tagu implies, stroking a stuffed bear as we walked past it.

I eye the teddy bear, her eyes look hopeful to buy it, "I hope you can _bear_ with me on the trip."

"I can't even– stop." She rolls her eyes.

I grab the stuffed bear and toss it as soon as her back turns, "Think fast!"

"What?" Tagu reacts too late, tossing the bear around in her hands, then eventually dropping it. "Why would you do that?"

"To test if you can bear with me," I pry the bear out of her hands and putting it back onto the shelf.

Tagu turns around, "Your puns are worse than Andre's."

"Hey," I stomp towards her. "My puns are better than all of Andre's combined."

"At least I can bear their puns," Tagu winks.

I stare at her with a neutral expression, "Leave it to us to make them, bud."

Her shoulders drop, "Fine, be like that."

As she walks around the corner, I take the opportunity to sneak away to grab the bear from off the shelf. It's a soft plushie, medium-sized. It has brown fur and dark brown eyes. Other than that, it has a red bowtie and no other unique qualities. It's a regular teddy bear. 

I wanted to buy it for Tagu. Her eyes seemed to have gawked at the sight of it. She wasn't much of a teddy bear person, but the way she looked at this one was more than she's ever looked at me.

I slip away into self-checkout, trying my best to hide from Tagu. I insert my debit card into the machine and bag it. It has a reasonable price, fifteen dollars for a 12-inch plushie. I leave the store and walk to Nick's car.

In the distance, Nick is loading the trunk with bags of Miguel and Thu Thu's foods.

"How's your wallet?" I ask, pointing to Miguel, who had a look of panic in his face.

“Not good," He trudges to the front seat and slams the door.

"How much did he pay?"

Thu Thu sighs, "I think we did kind of overdo it. Fifty bucks from each of us."

I tilt my head as I took a peek at the receipt, "Why was it over one hundred dollars?"

"The steaks, burgers, and seasonings. Also, the fifteen bags of chips and twenty cup noodles," Thu Thu chuckles nervously, with a look of regret on her face. "We also needed to buy an extra cooler."

"Andre has like, five coolers at his house."

Thu Thu stares at me blankly, blinking, "Fuck."

"Yeah, you overdid it," I pat her shoulder. "It's fine. We all eat a lot anyway."

Thu Thu shakes her head. 

"What's that?" She points at the bag in my hands.

"Oh, it's a teddy bear for Tagu," I reply, pulling it out.

Thu Thu snickers, "That's so basic, even for you."

"Well, I bought it because I made a bad pun out of it," I beam, eyeing her steadily. "She couldn't _bear_ it."

"Stop."

"Sorry."

Tagu is in the distance, walking out of the automatic doors of the large store. As she approaches us, we notice a big bag of McDonald's.

Tagu greets and waves the bag in the air while taking a step next to me, "Before we go to Canadian Tire, let's eat some lunch in the car?"

I balance my glasses on my nose, smiling clumsily, "You're the best."

"You don't have to remind me," She hums, leaning an elbow on my shoulder.

Miguel's face perks up, instinctively grabbing at the rear, "Thank, God."

We enter Nick's car. Tagu passes us all McDoubles with large fries and drinks. I scarf down on my food, looking around me. Everyone is eating so slow. I'm nearly finished my meal already.

We all thank Tagu with full mouths. I take a sip of a soda she got and swiftly gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Don't mention it," She yawns, beginning to blush. "Take us away, Nick."

He nods, backing away from the parking space and driving away.

The drive to Canadian Tire was a quiet one. It was nearly a quarter to two when we finally arrived at the store near Confederation Mall. I slipped the teddy bear onto Tagu's lap. She picked it up and hugged it tightly.

"Ugh, these kinds of stores are boring," Thu Thu brings her hands to her head. "I have nothing to get here. I think I blew up my wallet at Wal-Mart."

Miguel sneers, shaking his head, disapprovingly, "Speak for yourself. I won't be able to pay Skye back once the trip is over."

"I don't think she wants us to pay her back," Nick says.

Looking up, I gaze at the giant logo of Canadian Tire, smiling at the leaf atop the triangle-shaped symbol. We walk through the automatic doors, with enough space to stretch while we walked.

"How are you so sure?" I ask, pulling a basket from near the entrance. "Well?"

"It's just her nature," Nick replies. "She's like Andre; she's not going to let us pay her back no matter how hard we try to."

Miguel scans around the giant store and sighs, a heavy expression on his face, "I don't know. It still doesn't feel right if we don't pay her back."

Tagu shoots me a flirtatious grin as she passed me, looking me up and down, "I'm paying her back no matter what. She can't stop me."

She suddenly grabs at my hand, dragging me away from the rest of the group.

"Where are you taking me?"

"I wanna get you something since you got me that bear," She smiles, dragging me away further into the store.

"There isn't much to get here," I implied. "I don't want anything, anyway. You already got us Dons."

Tagu frowns, "Still, I'm getting you something."

We searched every corner of the store, only finding supplies for outdoor activities. Tagu was becoming more and more frustrated. 

My hand brushes along with a rack of kitchen utensils as I walk next to an irritated Tagu. We find ourselves beside a row of mountain bikes, and next to those, there are shiny new barbeque grills Andre and Nick would love to cook on.

"Hey, it's all right," I turn my attention back to her, reassuring her. "There's plenty of other stores you can visit to find me something."

Tagu wraps her arm around my neck with a pout, "Aww, I guess."

I lift her chin with a finger, "Don't worry, okay?"

Her face lights up, her dark-brown eyes twinkling. I can feel her gaze tracing the curve of my lips, my neck, and my body.

"I won't," Tagu stutters nervously, settling a malicious grin on her face. "So..."

We hold each other's gaze, losing track of time around us. I feel her starting to lean in, her eyes fluttering while she explores mine. I lean in closer and closer, and we were soon a breath away from each other. My heart pounds against my chest with such force I thought I'd pass out. 

A sudden sound of approaching footsteps alerts us both. We shift our attention to the left, seeing Nick and Miguel running after us, colliding into me, sending me tumbling towards the floor. Tagu manages to jump out of the way in time, her feet landing inches away from my face.

I grunt, rubbing my neck and back. "Damn, that's gonna leave a mark."

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry," Nick gasps, extending an arm to me. "Here, I gotcha."

I crack my knuckles and grapple his arm to heave myself up. I dust my shirt off, "What's the rush, Vanilla Ice?"

Nick pants, trying to catch his breath. He points next to me, "Nothing, it's just, I nearly made you knock down that row of bikes."

I snicker, glancing behind me, "That would have been catastrophic."

"It sure would have been," Nick places a hand on my shoulder. "I got some fishing bait and some extra supplies."

He holds out a package of shiny lures and a jar of pink fish past.

"You fish, too?" I ask, grabbing a plastic container full of minnows and leeches.

"Yeah, baby!" Nick, whoops loudly, pumping his fists into the air. "I figure Andre already has a fishing license. Since you don't, we can let you borrow one of our rods, and if security comes by, just pass them back to us."

I appreciatively nod, "Thanks! I've always wanted to go fishing again."

Miguel smiles, "Nick bought me a license. So, I'm gonna have to ask my dad if I could take his fishing rod with me too."

Tagu mumbles with a chuckle, "I wanna see one of you fall into the water."

"That won't happen," I shake my head. "My balance is near perfect."

"Uh-huh. Weren't you just on the floor earlier? After being knocked down?" She straightens her back, placing two hands on her hips, "Balance, my ass. It's gonna happen. Just you wait."

Tagu lets out a menacing laugh, or she tried too.

"We don't speak of this day," My eyes flicker. "I have a reputation to keep."

"That's odd," Tagu scratches her head. "I swear, I could have heard someone saying that before."

"'I have a reputation to keep?'" I repeat the phrase. "Where'd you hear that?"

"At that baseball game, remember? You know, when that bitch nearly blew Marjorie's head open with a baseball," Tagu grumbles, shaking her head and rubbing her temples. "Some guy wearing a green bomber came to comfort us and confronted the guy with Andre. He got a two-game suspension and detention for a week."

"And you bring this up now? That was during grade 10. And I wasn't even there when it happened," I begin to laugh, comfortingly rubbing her back. "Don't be so worked up about that. Andre caught it in time, and even if he didn't, Marjorie told me she ducked, too."

"I know!" Tagu puffs. "I hear he's moving to Tommy or whatever, couldn't handle the heat this year for football at Holy Cross. Rumour has it, they replaced him with a better quarterback, and he rode the bench for half the season."

Nick clicks, snapping his fingers, "You're talking about Brian Crandall!"

"What a stupid name," I quip.

"If he moves to Tommy next year, I'm sure that they'll be no higher than last place again," Nick jokes, slapping his knee. "There's a reason why they replaced him on Holy Cross' team; he just isn't good. I've seen better Niners play quarterback during outdoor gym classes, and they hardly even play football."

I shrug off Tagu's anger, only twining my fingers into her hand and kissing her temple, "Don't worry. It won't happen again. Marjorie's okay right now, ain't she? It's good she didn't get hurt. You should appreciate the fact that everyone was unharmed during that day, no?"

Tagu lets out a long sigh, "I guess you're right. Thanks."

"Why would he move to Tommy, though?" I look at Nick once again. "I hear he's decent at basketball. It'd be stupid to move from a basketball-oriented school."

Nick only shrugs, "He wants to be the man, I suppose. People with high egos do that shit, but never actually get better," He scratches his head, hesitating for a moment. "So, uh, why'd he do that to someone like Marjorie?"

"Andre told me that Marjorie rejected him, he wanted to take her to the school dance after talking to her for one day," I smirk at the thought. "No matter, if he ever comes by Beth, we'll give him a piece of our minds."

I smile, turning my attention to Miguel, now followed by Nick, walking into an aisle full of different kinds of water bottles.

"Did you guys ditch, Thu Thu?" I follow the two boys, still holding Tagu's hand. I pace back and forth through an aisle full of water bottles and flasks. "Damn, I needa get one of these."

"Nope, you just didn't notice me following you," Thu Thu suddenly presses her fingers into my hips. I jump and stagger back.

I scream, shuffling back more as she keeps poking my sides with her long-ass nails.

"DON'T DO THAT PLEASE," I shout, holding onto my sides. "I'm ticklish!

"No shit," Miguel utters.

I scowl at her, Thu Thu beginning to giggle, covering her mouth and narrowing her eyes. Nick taps my shoulder, and I jump out of pure defense.

"Woah there! I'm tryna get your attention," Nick holds his hands out.

I glower at him suspiciously, "What do you need?"

Nick tosses me a water bottle. It looks like it could be used for hot chocolate or coffee. 

"This could be useful; it can get pretty cold at night."

"That's the point," Nick's finger hovers over the endless amounts of water bottles lined up along the shelves. "It could be useful to get two of those."

I fiddle around with the bottle, unscrewing the top of it. As the lid comes off, there was another cap that sealed the hole.

"Look! It's like a little cup," I beam, holding the tiny cup-lid in the air. "YOU CAN POUR THE HOT CHOCOLATE IN HERE."

"Again," Nick says, turning his head and simpering as he walked. "That's the point."

Tagu grabs the bottle from out of my hands and drops it into the basket Nick was now carrying.

"I'll pay for these now if you'd like," She offers kindly.

"Yeah, that would be nice."

Tagu seizes the red basket from Nick's hand. As she begins to walk towards a till, she glances over her shoulder and smiles at us, pushing her glasses up. I wave at her from afar while she inches nearer to the cashier in a long line up.

I blow her a kiss and wink playfully.

"Never fucking do that again," Thu Thu points at me.

Tagu laughs and does this full-body eye roll I always try to get her to do. I absolutely love it, and it reminds me that my jokes are still funny.

In the corner of my ear, I can hear Thu Thu's high-pitched squealing. I turn around and notice her crouched down and gazing at a giant bag.

"Thu Thu!"

She glances at me.

"Shut up!"

"Fuck you!"

Thu Thu's eyes veer back to a giant bag of chocolate almonds. She looks over at a price and elevates her eyebrows in disbelief.

"Thirty-seven dollars?" She gasps, inhaling slowly and closing her eyes. She lets out a long breath and stands up, "So worth it, bye, bitches." 

She snatches the massive bag of chocolates and tucks it tightly against her chest, standing up and jogging to the self-checkout machines.

"You better be sharing that with the rest of us," Miguel calls out, shaking his fist.

Thu Thu sticks out her tongue, placing the bag of chocolates in another bag and paying with a debit card.

"How much money does she have?" Miguel asks, taking a step next to me.

"Probably enough money to buy a giant bag of almonds," I answer, snickering.

"No shit, Sherlock," Miguel chuckles sarcastically. "Let's pay Marjorie a visit. You know, to check if she has her shit ready?"

"Nick would appreciate that," I wink at Nick, who was pacing behind us.

"Uh, maybe I would," Nick sighs, his pale face becoming shaded in red.

I shoot Marjorie a text, letting her know that we would be going to her house.

**_Marjorie_ **

_No can do, I'm going to Andre's._

_Then we'll go there._

_Suit yourself. I don't think the two wanna be bothered when working._

_Who cares? In plus, they've probably procrastinated once or twice and just fucked around._

_Nah, Skye is too determined. She wants to finish this project._

_Do they mind if we organize the stuff we bought in the basement?_

_They won't, don't bother them in the living room. That's where they're working._

_Has Andre been bossed around yet?_

_Big time. Skye scared him off into the washroom at one point. We thought he had another attack._

_AGAIN WITH THIS. How does Andre like someone this terrifying?_

_😂😂😂 Andre likes her because she is terrifying._

I silently giggle at my phone screen, before pocketing it and scurrying over to the others.

"Nick, let's grab a few boxes from your house," I turn my head over my shoulder to face him. "And we'll go to Andre's to organize."

He nods, carrying the bag full of supplies into the trunk of his car, then proceeding to enter the driver's seat.

"I haven't been to Andre's in a while," Miguel notes, texting away at his phone. "It'd be nice if we went."

I nudge his shoulder, "Still texting Christi–"

"Shut up!" Miguel flicks my forehead. His voice transforms into a quiet, rough whisper. "Don't be so loud; the others don't know her name yet."

"Are you planning on telling the rest of us?" I ask, keeping my voice low.

Miguel slides his phone inside his pocket, "It's only between us cousins first. You and Marjorie cannot tell anyone until it's the right time."

"There's no point in prolonging it right now," I imply, snaking my arm around his shoulder. "Unless you have a good reason?"

Miguel's lips quiver, "Nah. I don't want them to make a big deal about it. In plus, you guys tease each other all the time. That's not my forte."

"We barely tease Marjorie about Nick, and Lance and Julianna. Hell, you guys don't even tease Tagu and me. It's mostly Andre and Skye because of their sexual tension," I laugh, slapping my hand on his back.

Miguel snorts, "Yeah, that's true."

I hop into the shotgun. "Let's go get those boxes!"

"So excited for a bunch of boxes," Thu Thu yawns, reaching for the volume dial to turn up the radio.

As soon as the car door shut, Nick was off, leaving the parking lot.

We waited for a good ten minutes, before Nick emerged from his house, the flattened cardboard tucked under his armpits against his side. Thu Thu opens the door for him, and he throws them into the passenger seats.

"I'm squished!" Thu Thu yells, pushing the boxes down to her feet.

"Hey, hey! Easy!" Nick waves his hands frantically. "These boxes can curl easily when flattened."

Thu Thu sighs, tucking her knees into her chest, "Fine."

The engine runs again, and we hit the road. 

The drive to Andre's house would be somewhat of a long journey. Nick lived by Riverlanding, so to get back to Hampton Circle, we needed to leave Downtown Saskatoon. It should be about a twenty-minute drive.

I wistfully glance over my shoulder, and extended an arm towards Tagu, "You're so.. far.."

Tagu rolls her eyes playfully, teeth gleaming in the sunlight, "We're nearly there, you can survive."

"Way to make me feel like a third wheel," Miguel crosses his arms, looking at the passing cars next to ours.

"And me a fourth," Thu Thu raises her hands.

"I'm just the driver, I don't know about you guys," Nick jokes. It seemed like forever since Nick left his home.

"We're here," He finally mutters the words.

Nick parks in front of Andre's lawn. The engine stops. 

Marjorie suddenly appears outside my window, tapping on it loudly and startling me.

"Wow, perfect timing, Dimples," I smile at Marjorie, who has been sitting down on the lawn waiting for us.

She smiles, her dimples on her cheek being entirely visible, "Need any help?"

"Yeah, carry some of those bags inside the house," I direct my finger to the others carrying out the bags of contents we bought.

Miguel hoists a plastic bag of the fifteen bags of chips over his shoulder, as well as the giant bag of almonds.

"Woah, isn't that a bit much for, wait how long are we staying again?" Marjorie wonders, taking a plastic bag out of the trunk. "Thu Thu, what is this?"

Marjorie points to the almonds Miguel was carrying with ease.

"How'd you know it was me?" Thu Thu squints at Marjorie, stuttering suspiciously.

Marjorie raises her eyebrow, her eyes shimmering, “Cause' I know."

Thu Thu giggles softly, "You got me."

"Answer me, though!" Marjorie begs, tugging on Thu Thu's shoulder as they approach the house's front door.

"I think Miguel said a week but, let's discuss inside," Thu Thu replies in her usual soft tone.

I take the boxes out of the passenger seats, and Nick locks the car, making a beeping sound. I handed the box to Nick, who took it in his arms, marching towards the now opened door leading into the house.

I glance down at the garden along the driveway and pick a flower from it. I hand it to Tagu, giving her a sweet smile. Despite the heat radiating from the sun, I still feel my cheeks significantly warm as Tagu stares at the flower with bulging eyes.

"You just killed one of Andre's grandma's flowers," Tagu's eyebrows furrows as I put it in her hair.

"He won't mind," I grin, sitting on the bench against the wall of the concrete wall of the house.

The bench is under a chunk of the roof, and it's enough to provide ample shade during the hot day.

"His grandma will," Tagu sits down beside me in the shade, laying her head on my shoulder.

The door swings open. I beam happily and point at the redhead at the door.

"Skye does Minecraft!"

The redhead's eyes pierce through my soul, her glare becoming very ominous, "One more nickname out of you, and I'll throw you out of the window."

"Geez, you seem _edgy_ , again," Marjorie says, hugging her from the side. "Is Andre being a goofball?"

"Stop calling me that! I said it one time. And yes, he's a major pain in the ass," She breathes deeply. "But he's too cute to stay mad at. You said it yourself; he's a fucking goofball."

"Andre ain't cute," I step inside the air-conditioned house. "Oh, Lord, it feels so good in here."

"SHH!" Skye slaps my back with a loud _thwap._ I wince and arch my back.

 _"That's gonna leave a mark,"_ I say with a crack in my voice, wincing from the pain and whispering. "What was that for?"

Skye points to Andre sitting at the piano. A beautiful melody escapes its speakers. We all took a single step back, listening to Andre perfectly recite every note. Six minutes pass, and he finally hits a button to finish the recording.

He shifts his attention to us as we gaze up at him in amusement. Andre tilts his head confusedly, pushing his glasses up.

"What're you staring at?" He asks, scanning the stuff we were all carrying. "You certainly overdid yourselves."

"Miguel's wallet is toast," Skye chuckles frigidly. Miguel's eyes fell, and Skye bit her lip apologetically. "Sorry. Can't really relate."

"It's fine; the truth just hurts," Miguel wallows away into the basement, back slumped.

"That wasn't a real apology, Miguel," Skye shrugs and takes a breath. "But, I'll be sorry for being mean. You'll get that money back, don't worry."

"Why'd you redo the piano part?" Marjorie waves up at Andre, hugging Skye from behind.

Andre meets Skye's eyes. Andre's face colours itself a red tinge as he gawks at Skye's unwavering gaze.

He clears his throat and stutters, "Skye-with-an-e over there told me to redo it. She recorded the drum part at her house before coming here. Garageband kinda sucks."

Their conversation drags on. 

We find ourselves in the basement moments later while Andre and Skye remain in the living room, occasionally hearing her rocking out on the electric guitar. We begin to sort out or assortments of items.

"You're really good at that," Andre's voice was faded, but we can hear their conversation above us from where we sat.

Skye turns off the amp, which lets out a static sound. 

"You've told me that thirty times." She says dryly.

"Cause' it's true!" We can hear the smile in Andre's voice as he speaks. "Hit record, this is it."

"We still have two more parts to record," Skye halts Andre's talking. "3... 2... 1..."

The low hum of the bass begins to ring, along with the recordings they already had. Andre is perfectly in sync with the music they've put together.

"Wow," I thoughtfully look at my friends in the basement, otherwise occupied to sorting out boxes. "They did a real good job recreating that."

With that, the song ends. The sounds of two people jumping up and down excitedly shook the ceiling above us.

Skye cheers joyfully. It was the first time we've ever heard her whoop. "You did it!"

"I did it!" Andre lets out a cheer as well. "WE DID IT!"

Their feet continue thumping against the floorboards upstairs. The ceiling above us starts to shake.

"I'm gonna get a new shirt from your room," Skye mumble, feet slid across the house floors.

"Who wants water?" I ask. Everyone raises their hands.

I get up and go upstairs. Andre is sitting in front of the laptop, editing the music. I hear Skye groan. It sounds like she is in pain, which causes an anxious feeling in my gut. I turn back to see Andre, headphones over his head, fidgeting around on the laptop. He didn't hear her. I feel inclined to check on her, so I tiptoe to the room

My eyes widen at a horrific sight.

"Holy fuck, Skye!"

Skye's sleeve is rolled up. In disbelief, I rub my eyes hard, taking off my glasses and repeating the process. It was true.

I motion towards Skye, noticing the endless amounts of scars on her wrist, trailing down her forearm. There are old, dark scars, along with scabs of recent ones. Some cuts look tender, maybe even recently applied in the past hour.

I cringe, curling my fingers and shaking my head.

Skye gets up and shrinks into the corner of the room, "Don't you knock?! Get the fuck out! You weren't.." Skye swallows hard; her voice is a shaky mess. "You weren't supposed to see this."

I inhale, trying my best to calm myself down. 

"Do you still do this?"

"John, please, I'll explain--"

"Answer the question."

Skye gulps, her eyes glistening with tears, "I flushed my razor down Marjorie's toilet."

I'm at a lost for words. I knew already she was going through a lot, but I didn't expect that she did this to herself. Anyone could be doing this to themselves. 

A pang of unseen guilt flushes from my head down. I feel responsible for this, as a friend, it's my job to help with their problems in my own, quirky way. Some of those scars I see look old, but the fresh-looking ones give me chills. She'd been doing this behind our back, and I didn't stop it, I didn't even try to find out.

I sit down on the bed, rubbing my forehead, praying that what I saw was just my wild imagination. I feel the bed bounce slightly, Skye sitting farther away from me. Streaks of sunlight pour through the window, making Skye's hair glimmer.

Skye sniffles, wiping away a few tears streaming down her face, then tucking her hair behind her ear.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way, I was gonna tell you guys," She explains, her voice a stuttering mess.

"When?" I rub my eyes and lean on my palm. "When? The others are going to be upset, Skye. Do you realize that?"

Skye's eyes look remorseful. I bite my lip, fearing I seem a bit too hard on her. This is her first time seeing me at least somewhat serious. It's understandable.

She stammers, her body shivering despite how warm it was in the room, "I don't know what to do, how to tell all of you."

I involuntarily scooch closer and pull her around my arms, "Start off slow," I say. "Just tell me why you did this to yourself." She lays her head on my shoulder, the fragrance of her hair seeping into my nose.

Skye explains everything to me. From why she did it, to why she stopped. And also why there were still tender cuts.

I feel myself tighten the embrace I'm giving her. My shirt dampens from all the tears streaming down her face.

"It's good that you stopped," I reassure her. "It's hard to stop, y'know."

"How would you know?" She scoffs, bringing her hand to her mouth. "Have you??"

I shake my head and sigh deeply. I close my eyes. It's at this point I have to tell her something, anything.

"Andre used too."

Skye's face falls hard, almost too hard. It seems to impact her significantly, her lingering gaze staying fixated on my face. She starts to sob loudly and looks utterly miserable.

It breaks my heart to see her like this. I did little to show how much I actually cared about my friends. I always come out as neutral to everyone. I didn't like showing affection; I did it in my own ways. My friends would know what I'd do or say that shows me I care for them, it usually involves a joke or two, or a stupid noise Michael Manucat and I would make.

Other than that, nothing. Not a hug, I always push Andre off of me when he tries. This moment is making me break out of my shell. I didn't like the feeling in my heart; I've never felt anything like this. It's like being caught in an avalanche, you feel stuck, and everything is cold, and it hurts.

"Why?" She asks, falling to her knees then leaning against the closet door.

I hesitate, "He felt guilt in elementary school back in Grade 8. One of our closest friends was being called names. They called her a slut for being too close to us guys, and she went to a pretty shitty school with shitty minded people. And in high school, Andre's Ex was two years younger than him, these other people we met called him a pedo for dating a girl two years younger than him."

I spill everything. I had to be honest with Skye, she's our family now, too.

"Don't worry," I reassure her. "Those kids from that other school don't do that shit anymore, they apologized to our friend before she left, and to us. They all go to different schools now, but some of those kids are our friends now, they've changed a lot. Andre was quick to forgive, that's how our friend told us to be."

The anger in her eyes set in, engulfing her into madness. The look on her face gave me chills. Her face was as red as her dark hair.

"Who? Tell me who. Now," Skye demands, rolling down her red and black sleeve, concealing the painful scars that were engraved in my mind.

"I just told you, they're good-"

"No! I meant the ones calling him a pedophile," Skye's eyes, filled with such a rage I've never seen in anyone.

I told her their names. To my surprise, her face starts to turn back to normal. She calms down, and her voice is now soft. 

"Why? Just why? Two years isn't that big of a gap; I'm two years younger than him!"

"People will take anything and turn it into a negative," I note. "They've been through rough patches with their families, I understand why they'd talk shit like that, but it ain't ever right to do that to someone. No matter what."

"Those people have no fucking idea, do they?" Skye stomps her foot loudly onto the floor. "Do they still do that?"

I shake my head, "They stopped in semester two, at that point Andre didn't feel anything anymore and didn't care. Until the break-up happened, he's been quite sensitive lately, and you know how he is now."

Skye holds up a finger, and I remain quiet. She runs a hand through her hair, some of it sticking up.

"How could they? How shitty could someone be to fucking bully someone for wanting to be with who they want to be with? How? How can you tolerate even hanging out with them, John?" She shouts, tugging at her hair. "They may have gone through a lot, but that doesn't mean they can act like this."

"I'll say this right now; I'm glad you didn't end up like them," I confess, sighing deeply, rubbing my forehead. "You're right, they've been through a lot, but that doesn't mean they can do that to Andre."

Skye's gulp was loud, and her breath was shaking violently, "Despite what I've gone through, I wouldn't be able to do that to another person, I can't let someone else feel how I feel. It ain't right."

I looked down at the floor, feeling slightly guilty of dragging her into our school's mess, "No one could stop it, not even me." I gulp, feeling a lump of air in my throat. "I'm sorry. If it makes you feel better, Andre forgave them, too."

"Don't be," Skye takes a deep breath. "Once someone goes down that hole, it's almost impossible to dig them out. Believe me, I know someone like this. In plus, Andre's strong with you guys, right?"

I slightly smile, gazing up at Skye's glistening eyes, "He's become even stronger, now that you're here, though, he isn't the same."

Skye lets out a sigh of relief, "When do you think I should tell them, about, you know?"

A gut-wrenching feeling paralyzes me in place, "When you want too. If you do it right now, Andre's probably gonna wanna make you feel better."

She snickers, "Of course. I don't wanna distract him from his work." She rushes forward towards the door.

"He probably would appreciate it more if you told us now," I say, taking a step next to her.

"Don't be so sad," Skye looks up at me. "If they start doing it again, we'll make em' stop."

I shake my head, taking off my glasses, "It's impossible."

"Nothing's impossible," Skye flashes me a tight smile. "We have each other's backs. We can do the impossible." Her tears of pain turn quickly into tears of joy.

"You just said something was impossible."

"I said, _almost_ impossible."

I elbow her shoulder, then give her a warm hug, "You've grown up fast in the span of two weeks."

"I learn fast," Skye says, emotionless, fiddling with the edge of her black bracelet. I tug onto her necklace from behind her.

"Looks like your tiny stature makes you learn fast," I chuckle, letting myself stop poking at her pretty necklace. "Less time for that information to travel."

Skye hits my forehead, "I'll tell them when Andre and I finish the project. The two parts are short anyway. Could you back me up?"

I nod, placing my glasses back onto my face, letting them rest onto my nose, "Of course."

Skye smiles, then leaves the room, leaving me alone. 

I sit against the door. I bury my hands in my face, letting every single tear fall out of my eyes. It was hard enough having one friend that has self-harmed, now two? That strain alone scares me because, you do it once, you're most likely going to do it again. Andre stopped doing it, and Skye told me she stopped, but what's stopping them from doing it again? 

I was hoping all of us can be the support group she needs. We've done well so far, anyway.


	22. Bohemian Rhapsody

_ **A/N: This is the video that drew inspiration for me to have this thing happen in the book. I do not own this, but this is the closest we all can get to what Andre and Skye made in Tangent Points. Enjoy! This guy did an excellent job making this.** _

_Link:[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB9KDsLTVz4&feature=emb_logo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB9KDsLTVz4&feature=emb_logo)_

Andre's POV

Skye and I are polishing a few more aspects of the song cover we had made earlier. A few tweaks here and there, lowering the sounds of individual instruments, adjusting the tempo, that sort of stuff. Skye plays it back. The laptop connects to the Bluetooth speakers next to it. We nod at each other, content at what we had created, or recreated.

We did bicker a lot during the past week trying to make it, like friends trying to figure out where to eat. Random insults that didn't make sense and lots of shouting were spat out at each other at the expense of the residents of my house thinking we were absolutely fucking crazy.

Despite all of that, we managed to finish this project in a week. Skye might have gotten tired of me at one point though, but she still stuck around unlike others who would've probably ditched me. Even I'd leave myself if I had to deal with my annoyingness and jokes.

As we listened to it, we found ourselves singing quietly and tapping onto the floor to the beat. This wasn't Skye's favourite song; she wasn't fond of soft ballads, so she favoured the Operatic and Rock Sections of the song. She loved doing the guitar solo and would mess up on purpose just to keep replaying it over and over again. It never got old, no matter how many times she kept playing it.

This experience I had with Skye made me open up to the idea of trying to go for her. It was such a fun project, and she's even more into music than I am! Of course, there's more to Skye than just music, I can list many things, but it would be a long, possibly endless list. Knowing myself, however, I'd probably get flashes of my past, traumatic experiences, as they always come to bite me in the ass.

"....And finished," Skye lets out a sigh of relief, rubbing her temples. "It was hell working with you sometimes, y'know?"

That kicks my heart a little, it hurt, but I still muster up the decency to smile, "I'm glad to be of service, Goth Queen."

I frown. That shouldn't have hit me too hard, even if I am a little sensitive lately. I'd usually feel something if people casually insulted me about my problems and flaws.

Skye silently chuckles. I perk up as the Bluetooth speaker begins playing a slow song.

The hairs on my arm stand up. I raise my head, blinking in disbelief, to see Skye offering me her hand with a soft grin on her face.

"This is surprising," I stutter, hesitantly reaching for her hand and pulling myself up. She doesn't let go, and nor do I. "I'm intrigued. What do you want?"

It's blatantly apparent she had offered me a slow dance, even without her asking. A guy needs to make sure right? Just in case I'm baiting myself into being embarrassed. Small possibility, but it could still happen.

Skye cocks her head to the side. "Other than being a pain in the ass, you were fun to deal with," Skye stammers nervously, planting an uneven smile on her face. "I haven't had this much fun since making forts at Wal-Mart."

"I thought you hated that," A smile forces itself out of me, as I gaze at her glistening eyes.

They seem to explore my face like she could see past my broken mask of the day. To be quite honest, she never had to make me put on a mask; all she has been to me was good and honest and trustworthy. The feeling inside me brews with only positivity when I'm with Skye. I just hope I made her feel the same.

She shakes her head, "Some forts were fun to make. Sleeping in them sucked, though."

I place my hand gently around her waist and feel her stiffen at my touch, but eases into my hand. I pull her closer and tightened my grip.

"Too much?"

"I'm not complaining," She smirks, pressing her small body against mine. Our faces were a breath apart from each other, and Skye blushed fiercely. She kept her stare fixated on me. "Much better. It's... pretty nice being here. In your arms I mean, yeah."

Skye awkwardly chuckles, her head lowering to avoid my eyes.

I smile whimsically and think about how adorable and irresistible she was. "Gosh, you're cute."

"Cheeseball," Skye looks back up at me, her face is red as a rose. She looks into my eyes, sincerely. "Hey there."

I feel breathless, catching the sweet fragrance of her hair. I give her a flirtatious grin, feeling more goosebumps forming all over my body, "Something must've put those stars in your eyes and roses in your cheeks, huh?"

The redhead calmly keeps her eyes fixated at me, tenderly straddling me tighter in her arms, "You're cheesy. Cheesier than Marjorie almost."

"I've always been cheesier than Marjorie," I answer her with a goofy grin.

The song playing in the background was _Billie Eilish's 'i love you.'_

It was such a perfect song to slow dance, too. Surprisingly, Skye loved Billie Eilish. I always teased her about it, how she hated slow ballads or lovey-dovey related songs but liked Billie's quiet music. They're strikingly similar.

I pretty much accept the fact that Billie's slow musical pieces are ballads. Skye, however, stubbornly stood her ground. What she did hate though; were those somewhat, overused love songs like, _Can't Help Falling in Love,_ any of Bruno Mars' songs from 2008-2010, and songs relating to cheesy, fluffy stuff in general.

She does, however, have everlasting respect for them. Skye knows those songs have impacted people significantly over the years and is happy - though she won't admit it - for those who gain joy from listening to them.

What a fucking teddy bear.

The bass drops were minimal, but I'd spin her around during the chorus of the song, which would cause her to giggle at times or let out a distinctive squeal. When I got that tiny squeal out of Skye, I knew I was doing something right. It made me feel good about myself, and I haven't felt this good in a long time. This, of course, was all because of her.

This song is extremely slow; all we can do is sway back and forth. I know how to slow dance really well, but songs like this give me fewer opportunities to wow Skye even further from our last slow dances. But, it does also give me an excuse just to nuzzle my cheek against her head. She won't admit it, but she'd lean into my cheek as well, which sent sensations up and down my entire body. It makes my chest feel so warm, and her being against me makes everything feel more summery.

Skye is literally warming my heart, melting away all the cold, black, permafrost that's been forming there for the past two months.

"You're a goddess on the electric by the way," I praise, twirling her, then planting a sweet kiss on her nose.

Skye blushes, her face flushing in a deep crimson colour. I think I caught her off guard with that kiss, we have been getting closer lately and I did warn her of my sudden acts of affection.

"Hmm... You're a god on the piano," Her dark blue eyes are full of honesty and a warmness only she made me feel.

I smile at her comment, "Not exactly. I only know how to play _Bohemian Rhapsody_ on the piano," I smile bashfully, delicately spinning her and being careful not to step on her foot. "But you! You know how to play many pieces on that sexy, electric guitar over there. That means you're better."

"You have the potential to learn new songs, though. Boh Rhap is hard to learn, especially for someone who doesn't play the piano as their main instrument," Skye counters, suddenly resting her head in my chest. She gawks up at me, her mouth slightly open. "Is _this_ okay?"

I still had my head rested against the top of her head, so I slightly tighten the grip I have on her and let the scent of her hair wash me over.

"I'll repeat what you said: I'm not complaining."

She is right, though. I am more familiar with the bass guitar. The bass part for Boh Rhap was mostly solid whole notes during the ballad, and eighth notes during the rock and operatic sections, as well as the Coda at the end. It was easy to improvise some of the slow parts with the bassline, and not to mention; it was pretty fun.

I bring Skye around the kitchen counter, letting the moment slowly drive us away from reality, and bring us into our little world, where we didn't have to worry about anything, not even the tiniest mosquito could ruin things here.

The house seems to melt away; the only thing remaining was us in a blanket of white nothingness, where Skye and I were the single _somethings_ there, the only people. I spin her around once more; tightening the grip, I had on her warm, soft hand. I let go and place both hands on her waist. She bites her lip, lifting her head off my chest and staring up at me, wonderous amazement shining in her eye. She curls her hands tightly around my shoulders.

"I'm ticklish, you better not try anything funny," Skye eyes me cautiously, as she starts to lead me into the living room, our feet in sync to the song's slow beat.

"I won't, Shortstuff," I smile. "Are you tippy-toeing just to reach me?"

Skye slaps me playfully on my shoulder, "First of all, I'm not. Second of all, I'm not that short! You're three inches taller than me!"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," I teasingly poke at her sides, which causes her hips to twitch away from my hand.

She screams with a smile on her face, "Andre! Stop!"

Skye continues the dance but was occasionally twitching at the sudden movement of my fingers. I find that cute. She was ticklish. I was too, but when the redhead let out a laugh or screamed during moments of happiness, it makes everyone's legs all mushy. Even ask my friends.

This is maybe our tenth dance, so our chemistry got improved significantly. I remember quite vividly Skye and I falling on the third or fourth dance we shared. It was funny, but I was drunk already, so it was difficult for me to stand back up. Skye caught on that I was drunk, but surprisingly didn't act on it, though she did tell the others. The fifth was even more embarrassing because I accidentally stepped onto her foot. We got lucky on our first two sessions together, I guess it was beginner's luck for her, and I was less nervous. It started just casual, but with the feelings I've come to accept, I've been getting really nervous around her. She was just so... different. Skye was a lot of things. Let's say she was extraordinary.

Skye has every excuse to just shut out the world and bottle herself in. She doesn't have to care about anything or anyone because no one has ever been there for her, yet she'd already done many things for people who don't know who she is. Her heart is still filled with compassion and empathy even though her home life is horrific, her family abuses her every day and never once had given her an ounce of love. Yet, she still loves doing things for others because she cares, she won't admit it, but she cares deeply about others she doesn't even know. Even if she does avoid human contact, she doesn't shy away from making others happy. She loves without even knowing she is.

That's why I like her, she's everything I already do, but better, she motivates me to do better and to be the person I was.

I just hope I'm the person she needs right now, too.

Skye makes me feel everything at once, and at the same time, she washes all the negative things that haunt my mind away. I don't know what it is about her, but she's everything I want.

But I can't ruin this beautiful friendship we already have, was it really worth that risk? Risking a relationship that might not even last is the scariest feeling.

Something in me wants her to be mine. She's already the person who pulled me out of the darkest hole in my life, and I'm still going through it. I don't want her to carry the burden I'm lifting; she's done enough already.

Skye suddenly pokes my nose, breaking me out of thoughts. "Macatangay, you look high as fuck."

I jerk my head down to face her. I clear my throat, "Sorry, I was lost in your eyes again."

"Big-time," Skye replies dryly, poking my nose again. "Wait, you were what?"

The song ends, and both of us are hesitant about pulling away from each other. I feel her shiver just as my hand rises from her waist. I start admiring the curve of her hips. I bite my lip and look her up and down, my stomach churning.

I glance back up to see Skye, who had been staring at me too. Our gazes linger. I catch her eyeing me up and down, also, suspiciously avoiding my eye contact.

"You checking me out?" I gasp, making a high-pitched tone with my voice.

Skye fumbles her words and covers her face, flustered, "Wha? No! I wasn't. Why would I do that?"

The more she stutters, the more I laugh at her. Her eyes shift to the painting hanging above my piano. I'm flattered, my heartbeat suddenly speeding up, and the countless butterflies in my stomach flapping against it.

Her eyes fall to her feet, "Okay, maybe I was. But in my defense, you're wearing a sweatshirt that looks like my shirt; I was just comparing. And you started it. Don't think I didn't see you looking at me!"

I jokingly check her out, looking her up and down. This is the lamest excuse to look at her closely, but it was worth it. "Damn, you're hot," I say, licking my lips.

"You're pushing it, pal," Skye shakes her head and looking slightly amused. "I hope you don't mean that."

I shrug, looking thoughtfully at her, "I guess you'll never know."

I look down, remembering I had put on a red and black sweatshirt, stripes and all. Though my stripes were bigger than Skye's, there was a white line across my chest that had a Tommy Hilfiger logo embedded on it; it was more or less a matching outfit.

Even my pants were the same colour as her jean skirt, black. The only thing missing was fishnet tights, and I would not wear that for any reason at all unless someone gave me a good reason. Of course, Skye still wore the black necklace and bracelet I had gifted her, and she always wore the same black lipstick. As elegant as the fall leaves that flow in the wind, she was the same just as I met her.

"You are as... beautiful as ever," I mutter, letting my thoughts transcend into words.

Skye curls her lips and raises her eyebrows, "What was that?"

Her eyes absolutely hypnotized me.

"You're as beautiful as the day I met you."

Skye's face warms into crimson red, rubbing her bicep and nervously shuffling her feet, "Thanks. You're not half-bad yourself."

I burst out laughing, "Your compliments have a special place in my heart, Skye."

"How? They're dry as hell."

"Well, people usually get annoyed of, you know, how dry some people are when they talk," I explain, taking a seat onto the coffee table.

Skye plants herself next to me, appreciatively gawking at my face, "Yeah, and people avoid you. That's why I do it so much."

"That's the thing," I pause, making sure I hold her gaze. "When someone like you who talks the way you do, is as pretty as you and is as unique as you. If they compliment someone, it'll make them feel special. Even if it's such a small compliment, it'll just impact a lot them because.."

"Because?" Skye's lips transform into a soft smile, matching her eyes.

I straighten my posture, tucking my chin on her head, "Because they'll feel lucky, knowing someone noticed a small thing that they never knew they had."

"Awe, Andre," I feel her hand lace into mine. "So, I made you feel special?"

"Of course," I lightly peck her hand with my lips. "You've made me feel more like myself since I started having problems. I thought I'd never feel that again, y'know?"

"That's... really sweet," Skye says, inhaling slowly then surprisingly planting a kiss back onto my hand. "Oh, wow, your hand is soft."

The seconds her lips touched my hand felt like hours, I thought I was frozen in time. Did that really just happen?

"Thanks. Your hands are soft too," I kiss them again, making sure that she was real, and what just happened was real.

Suddenly, a loud _crash_ echoes the house. It sounded like it came from the basement.

"What are they doing this time?" Skye drops my hand and walks to the railing. She yells, "You guys okay down there?"

No answer. The faded sounds of laughter bounce around the living room. Skye and I fall silent. I had a feeling they were up to something fun.

"Let's go," I hop onto my feet and drag her down the flight of stairs.

Upon swinging open the basement door, I see a chair on its side in the corner, a vase nearly about to fall off its nightstand, a couch cushion leaning against a cabinet and our friends, hitting each other with pillows from the pantry. The boxes of supplies are tucked away safely beside the door to the guest room.

Skye smiles her devilish grin, then enters the basement, "How long ago did you guys finish?"

Everyone abruptly stops. Marjorie speaks first, panting, "Maybe ten minutes ago. We were quiet for a little bit, just on our phones, spying on you guys slow dance--"

 _Whack!_ Marjorie crashes back into the soft carpet after a pillow whips across her face.

She dizzily stands up, "Jolo! What was that for?"

John takes off his glasses, chuckling loudly, "Why did you tell them we were spying?"

Skye's covers it, trying to conceal the redness that engulfed her face, "You guys are creeps."

All of us laugh. Skye takes a seat onto the couch, apparently to avoid the fighting that resumes. Miguel ran into a wall, Tagu, and Thu Thu were tangled up in blankets, Marjorie and John continued their battle, and Nick continuously thrashed Miguel with a pillow over and over again as he was on the floor.

Miguel explodes, kicking his feet up, then smacking Nick across the face with such force, that he backed away in fear, hesitating to go on, "I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!"

Miguel sneers, looming over Nick triumphantly, "Do not double-cross me, Nicholas. I'll have you know; I have never lost a pillow--"

 _Thwap!_ Fabric nails Miguel on the side of his head, causing everyone to alert to the new threat known as Nick with a pillow. Miguel winces and gets up. He yells out a battle-cry, charging at our friend head-on.

Their battle is epic, and no one shows a sign of weakness, too stubborn to fall and accept defeat.

Marjorie and John, on the other hand, are out of breath, lying on the white carpet, weakly hitting each other with the pillow. The three couches, other than the one Skye and I were sitting on, were trashed beyond recognition. The cushions were everywhere, Tagu and Thu Thu falling into them as they try to escape the big, blue blanket that was trapping them.

"You guys need help?" I shout across to them. "I'm behind you guys."

"We're gonna suffocate! Tagu, get us out now!" Thu Thu's muffled cries are between intervals of panting. "Tagu!"

Tagu laughs loudly, "You're the one that keeps freaking out, stop moving!"

They bicker back and forth when Skye finally lifts the blanket off of their heads. Their faces drenched in sweat and big smiles spread from ear to ear.

"Skye!" Thu Thu brings herself into Skye's arms. "You're our hero!"

Skye awkwardly hugs her back, "That's an overstatement, Pal."

Tagu pulls Thu Thu aside, then lashes a pillow across her torso. Thu Thu giggles, merely only tickled by the strike.

"You're on!"

Marjorie and John take a seat beside me. Their faces are also drenched in sweat, "Done already? Y'all need to exercise more."

John snickers, smiling, fluffing his shirt up and down to cool himself, "Nope! Just taking a break."

He passes me his glasses, and I safely put them away in my grandpa's room in the basement.

Marjorie shouts, "Skye! Look out!"

We all turned our attention to Skye. A tiny pillow whizzes past Tagu, and it pelts Skye right on her nose. She drops hard onto the floor, creating a loud _thump_ as she collides with it.

She holds her stomach in pain, looking winded.

Nick kneels beside her, his face filled with panic, "Oh my God! Skye, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean too!"

Marjorie sits down beside Nick, "Skye! Is your back okay?"

Skye winces, her face scrunches up as she sits up. A sudden smirk spreads across her lips. She jumps up onto the couch next to mine, swiping a pillow up in her hand, "This is war!"

Everyone gleams and scatter across the basement, Skye picking up a second pillow, cradling them snuggly in her arms. Skye lobs one of the pillows towards Nick, but it smacks Marjorie instead.

The basement becomes an arena, a free for all, everyone hitting and swatting pillows at each other left and right. A pillow darts past my face.

"Watch it, bro," I point at Miguel. "I ain't-a part of this."

Sharp pain on my left cheek staggers me onto my feet. I rub my face; the pain sets in slowly.

"Who in the _fuck_ threw that at me? _Fight me!_ " I scream out with fury; my eyes flare up with playful anger, taking one of the couch cushions, throwing one into Skye, Marjorie, John and Thu Thu across the room. They all divide, but I manage to snag Marjorie's foot, causing her to trip over herself.

"Why me? Always me?" Marjorie whimpers, crawling away.

Tagu points and laughs at me, mockingly, "You sound so unthreatening. Please say that more often, so I can make fun of you."

I glare at her, and aggressively cuff her shoulder, pumping my fist when I see her trip and fall into a seated position. Tagu sticks her tongue out at me, "That the best you got?"

"C'mere and find out," I raise my pillow with two hands, defensively hovering it over my face as I menacingly approach Tagu. "You _son of a bitch_ , I'm coming."

Tagu and I fence with pillows while the rest of our friends continue screaming and shouting. All of a sudden, Miguel emerges from the guest room, decked out in my old karate sparring gear set.

"While you fuckheads were fighting amongst yourselves," Miguel maniacally laughs to himself, cocking a nerf gun in the sparring gloves. "I found extra artillery to destroy you all!"

In front of him, Nick turns to us, horror in his face, "Go on without me."

Miguel shoots it on the top of his head. Nick dramatically twitches back, acting as if he were really shot, and plops face down on the floor, looking lifeless. Miguel then takes out a Mega. It's the giant, red sniper that shot those big red bullets with orange tips. They hurt like hell in close range and the basement wasn't spacious at all.

Marjorie and Skye yelp as bullets pelt the back of her legs. John and Tagu hide in the laundry room, and Thu Thu enters behind a gap between the couch and a display table with picture frames.

A bullet flies at me at Mach speeds; I retaliate by hitting it out of the air with a tiny pillow.

"What a God!" John cheers, pumping his hands up in the air, only to be shot with a red bullet. "Ouch! Fuck you, Miguel!"

Miguel scoffs, "Andre, you're learning, I see. Maybe you aren't a dumbass after all."

"That's my secret, Miguel," I shrug, charging up my arm. "I've never been a dumbass! This whole time I've been acting dumb to trick all of you!"

"Hamlet?" Skye mumbles.

I yell, throwing the pillow into his direction, only to have him step to the side. I slap my face, what an extremely weak throw.

"Never mind. You're still a dumbass."

A barrage of bullets begins to bombard us as we all took cover. It looks as if they were raining from the skies. I narrowly dodge them, looking towards Skye, who's struggling to avoid the endless amounts of bullets flying. Miguel catches us all off guard, shooting two guns at a time. Before a red bullet collides with Skye's head, I push her down to the ground.

"I got you!" I grunt, planting myself over her, and shielding her with my body.

"Oof!" She musters out before I press her down onto the floor.

"I'll protect you!" My brow furrows, tilting my body sideways to shield the bullets from hitting her. It feels like a less painful paintball, the pain only staying for a few moments.

Skye's mouth gapes open, eyes wide, "Thanks.."

The redhead flushes pink, and my cheeks start to heat up.

It happened again; I'm on top of her.

I look her straight in the eyes, "This isn't the first time we've been in this position, we good." I clear my throat. "And kind of nice."

Skye eases against me better than last time, tenderly grinning at me, "You said that last time, too." She wets her lips, her black lipstick not smearing off at all. "It is pretty comfy, being here in your arms again."

I jolt as both Miguel's small and big bullets pelt my back in numbers, "Argh!"

"Stay with me! Andre, don't you dare leave," Skye grips tightly onto my shoulders and pulled me even closer. We were once again, only a breath away from each other.

I bite my lip, letting the pain keep hitting my back.

"Don't worry. It only hurts for like, a second."

John cups his hands around his mouth, "Andre! Remember about the Trojan Bareskin I put in your wallet."

"Fuck off! I don't!" I keep my arms tight around Skye, refusing to meet her eyes after John's comment.

Skye blushes. I could feel her heart beating hard against my chest, "Skye, I'm concerned over your heart. It seems like it wants to come out again."

In spite of looking embarrassed, she starts to giggle, "I can feel your heart, too."

Skye and I laugh as we hear the others cursing loudly. Countless more of Miguel's bullets hit them fast. John emerges from the laundry room, a couch cushion in his arms. He whacks Miguel in the head, causing him to drop the guns. John dove headfirst into the firearms, grabbing them tightly.

"Hands up!" John points them at the armoured Miguel, who reluctantly put his hands up. "Nobody fucking move! Identify yourself!"

I push myself up off of Skye, who I notice with a sad look in her eyes, "What's the matter?"

She looks startled, "Oh! Nothing... Just a bit cold, now."

"Don't worry," I dust myself off, kneeling to gather the bullets on the ground. "We have plenty of times to do that again."

Skye smirks mischievously, "You being on top of me, or having a pillow and nerf war?"

"Hm, being on top of you."

"Can't wait," Skye starts to help me gather the bullets, winking at me briefly.

Thu Thu peeks her head from behind the couch, her hair a fiery mess, "Oh, God. Don't look at me like that, guys, please."

"We should've invited Lance and Julianna," I suggest, dropping the bullets cradled in my arm into a bucket Nick is holding.

"They're probably making out," Tagu sneers, tucking the couch cushions back into place. "I'm surprised we didn't break anything."

We finish tidying up the basement. John suggested we gather in the backyard to have another bonfire.

Skye leans her head on my shoulder, as the group and I reminisced about our elementary school days and our three years in High School.

"...And Andre would always moan like a pornstar," Marjorie snorts, adding more of her useless school work to the fire. "We made a hashtag called #AndreTheMoaner2k14."

Skye laughs loudly, covering her mouth, "You guys were the dirtiest bunch of kids ever."

"Awkward, almost puberty phase is always like that," I add, moaning jokingly as I had done in the past.

Miguel follows up with a louder, less sexy moan.

We continued this for about five minutes until Thu Thu told us the situation was making her uncomfortable.

"Remember that time Andre used to have a crush on--"

"No. Stop," I plead with Tagu to stop, making puppy dog eyes.

Tagu shakes her head, "Nah, Skye gotta know about the baggage you carrying before y'all start being more than friends."

"Uh, sure," Skye lifts her head, not denying that there was a possibility of us being more than friends. That false sense of hope floods my mind again. "Andre can tell me when he's ready."

She has a worried look in her eye. She's hiding something behind them, I could tell by looking right into them.

"Skye?" John gestures at her. "You don't have to do it today."

Skye's POV

I swallow hard. My chest feels like it was being pushed down by an incredible amount of weight like an elephant was sitting on it. In the corner of my eye, Andre and Marjorie were gazing concernedly at me. I feel a hand lace in mine.

"What is it?" I ask.

Andre's voice seems to be fading. My body feels like it's shrinking, feeling all their eyes on me. I'm the center of attention; I didn't want them to worry about me.

But I had to tell them.

If I didn't tell my friends now, they would continuously keep asking me. This is something I faced alone for so long. No more. I don't want to be alone anymore. I'm ready for them to see. They may cry, not care, be angry, but at least I told them — my family.

I drop Andre's hand. Raising both my arms up and slowly roll up both my sleeves. My chin quivers and I close my eyes, accepting my fate.

Tagu's voice cracks, her tone changing from the hyper, wise-cracking one she always brought along with her, into one of sadness and deep concern. I've never heard Tagu sound this vulnerable, this distraught.

"Oh my God, Skye..."

My eyes settle until I feel about seven pairs of arms wrap tightly around me; my arms still raised. I let them come down around my friends, achingly needing to touch them. I don't notice that I'd been crying the entire time, feeling a warm, soft patch on one of their shirts against my cheek.

I sob silently, letting my closed eyes press against them.

They all let go at the same time, except one. My eye opens ajar, and through the blurriness of my eyes, I could make out John and Andre's head, letting their scents cover me in the calmness that I longed to feel.

The boys let go. I fully open my eyes, Andre looking on at me with a sorrowful look. He unrolled his sweater sleeve, revealing fading scars.

My heart shatters, there was so much, they nearly matched mine, but his looked deep like he would do it over and over again without stopping.

Around me, I can hear the silent sobs of everyone; the only two staying silent were Nick and Miguel.

"Why are you guys crying?"

Nick gulps, his voice a shaking mess, "It's just hard to, you know, find out that one of my friends did that to themselves."

Andre slithers his fingers under my arm, inspecting the scars and scabs on it, "Did you quit?"

"Yes."

"When?" His voice shakes, his body shivering as he inspected the scars more thoroughly.

I take a deep breath, "My first or second night at Marjorie's."

"What'd you do to the sharp object?" Andre asks, his eyes flickering in the darkly lit evening hue surrounding his backyard.

"Flushed it down the toilet."

Andre nods solemnly, his gaze still lingering down at my arm. I catch the glimmer of grief in his eyes just before he closed the distance between his lips and my arm. He peppers my arm up and down with tiny, but warm kisses, kissing every scar and wound that spanned my entire arm, up until my elbow. The small pecks tickle, his lips bounced from edge to edge, making sure he didn't miss a single one.

"Skye, why?" Marjorie kneels beside me, wrapping her arms around my shoulder. She sniffles and uses her sleeve to wipe her face, which is sticky with tears. "How long have you done this to yourself?"

I become lost in my thoughts, trying hard to answer her question.

"Maybe when I was in grade six. When things at home started to become even worse," I answer.

I explain to them my state of mind, how I wanted the control. Everything, how often I did it, where I did it. They were shocked beyond belief, which surprised me.

Andre's lips part from my arm. His eyes dried, and he clenched his jaw.

"Even I didn't do it as much."

That statement seems unbelievable; his arm looked more severe than mine. Maybe every session he went through, the intent he had going into was to kill himself. I really hope that wasn't the reason why.

"Why'd you stop?" I ask him, repeating what he had done to me. He pulls his arm away from me.

"Don't do that please," Andre's face is red, but I didn't know if it was because of his crying or he was feeling shy.

"Why not?" I frown, tugging his arm.

"It tickles," Andre chuckles, along with everyone else that sat around me.

I let out a tiny giggle, "You can still joke around, even during deep talks like this?"

"It's healthy for people to laugh during times like this," Andre shrugs. "I stopped because I was selfish."

"Selfish?"

"Yeah. When I told John about this, he probably gave you the same speel," He places a hand on John's shoulder.

"Yeah, kind of," I motion towards the both of them.

Andre rubs his forehead, "It was selfish because I knew that if I kept doing this, especially when people around me cared about me so much, it would hurt them more than I was hurting myself."

His reddened eyes meet mine, shimmering as the fire illuminates his face. I let my head fall onto his thigh, "Luckily, I have people who care about me, now."

Thu Thu holds my hand, reassuringly, "I know we just met recently, but I want you to know that I already care about you as much as everyone else does."

Instead of pulling away, I stroke her thumb, "I appreciate it."

"Who's telling Lance and Julianna?" Miguel gestures at us, adding more wood to the fire.

"I'll tell them next time we see 'em."

Andre massages my temples, soothingly, "Alright, enough mushy stuff. Let's talk about other things."

I roll down my sleeves, "Let's."

A massive sigh of relief leaves my body. I sit up and listen to the stories they were telling. I feel weightless now, all the heaviness from earlier disappearing. Telling them about my family problems, then telling them about this had me thinking, was this it? Was this a family of friends I can genuinely trust. I thought so until Andre mentioned his name.

"Man, fuck," Andre's eyes flares. "If Brian Crandall ever lays a hand on you again, Marjorie--"

"You wouldn't," Marjorie sighs. "You're too nice to fight anyone. If anything, you'd hit him with the truth."

John scoffs, "Leave the fighting to Lance and I. I can't stand him either."

"No," Andre tucks his chin on my head. "I don't want people to view you two as someone like him, always trying to pick a fight."

Nick spits onto the grass, eyes ablaze, "He goes to my school. He always has this smug-ass look on his face and ugh, the cockiness and bullying is shit."

I remain silent, making sure not to make eye contact with anyone. The one thing I hoped for was for them not to know who that was. Brian Crandall was my brother. And if people see me, then look at the things he's done, they'd be in disbelief that he was my sibling. I would always deny people that would ask. We both had red hair; only mine was slightly darker than his.

He transferred to Tommy Douglas Collegiate, next to Bethlehem Catholic High School which are two schools connected through a recreational center called, Shaw Centre. All of them except Nick went to Beth.

It was a massive moment in my life when he moved. I didn't have to deal with people asking me if we were related, or if I was anything like him. Sometimes people at Holy Cross gave me the same look they gave him, fear and disgust.

I stayed at Holy Cross, somewhere close to where I lived. Brian was privileged with transportation via my parents, who would use up a lot of gas to drop him off there. I'd have to take the bus to Holy Cross, which was about a ten-minute drive from our mansion.

I feel a nudge on my hip, "Do you know this guy we're talking about? He used to go to your school. I'm pretty sure." Marjorie asks, waiting patiently for me to answer.

I don't know what to say. The moment she asked, the thoughts came back. What if they desert me for being his sibling? Just because I was nicer than him, doesn't mean it's all sunshine and rainbows for me.

I trusted them, but I couldn't tell them. Not yet, anyway. I just couldn't. From the stories they were discussing, they seemed to hate his guts as much as everyone did at my school. What if they started hating me too?

Fucking hell, I'm being irrational. My heart was telling me to confess again, but I couldn't find the strength I had before all of this. I'm too scared of what'll happen.

My parents favoured him for some unknown reason. I'd have higher grades than him, an honour roll award, and more, but they'd still choose him over me. They'd compare me to him, and he's part of the reason I'm the way I am.

I want to be as different from them as I need to be. My parents would sometimes watch Brian hit me countless times over stupid things, and not do anything about it. Bruises would show up, cuts, scrapes, all caused by him, and they wouldn't do a damn thing.

"No." I wince. Lying to Marjorie hurt more than it should have.

Andre smiles, "Good because he's a bad influence on everyone."

"Skye, are you thinking of moving to our school?" Miguel taps my elbow.

I purse my lips, my eyes feeling droopy, "I don't know. It's too far. If my family decides to move, then I'm probably forced to attend one of the schools in the West Side."

"Will they let you have a choice?" Tagu wonders, poking at the crackling flames of the bonfire with a stick.

"Maybe," I answer, blankly. "The only kind of decision they let me make is schooling. They know I exceed academically, so they use that to brag about me during parties. But they wouldn't even say my name. I was just their daughter. They put on this mask in public, to make themselves look like they had the perfect family, but at home, it's all different. If only people believed me."

"Poor thing," Marjorie hugged me tighter.

"Well, if someone like Brian can move to Tommy Douglas and he lives by where Skye lives," Andre pauses. "You could move to our school if you'd like."

I give him a crooked smile, "I'd love that, but the transportation would be hell. But, I'd do anything for you guys at this point."

I keep my mouth shut.

A soft voice alerted me, "Skye, how'd you and Marjorie meet?"

"Ask her yourself, Thu Thu," I flash her a forced smile. "Marjorie probably remembers it better."

"That's true," Marjorie agrees and starts to tell the story.

After a few questions, one finally lands on me.

"Why'd you cry for me like that?"

"Side effect, I suppose," I say to Andre. "Just the thought of possibly being close to someone scared me. I just overthought, that if we did get close, you'd abandon me like how my old friends did."

"How'd that work out for you?" He asked, smiling widely with flushed pink cheeks.

My face rises, pecking him lightly on the cheek, "I'm still here, aren't I?"

Our friends start 'Aww'-ing and giggling after kissing his cheek. It took a lot of courage to do that.

Andre tells them all to shut up, then tucks his head into his knees. I try hard to forget about them knowing my brother, but I couldn't.

The fire dwindles into ashes, and our friends left one-by-one. John and I stay back to help Andre clean up the firepit. Andre offers to take me home.

"You don't have to worry about me all the time," I tell him, sliding on my shoes.

Andre's lips curl, "I always have to worry about you."

I give him a warm hug and bury my face in his chest, "This once, for me?"

"You're mean," Andre sighs. "I'll walk you to the bus stop; it's getting dark."

And so, he does. John waves from across the street as he enters into his crescent. Andre and I talk about the camping trip, which was approaching us fast.

The days felt long, but the gap between then and now was getting smaller.

"We've had two bonfires this summer already," Andre nods. "Why not a third?"

"We kind of need a fire, though," I imply. "You know, to cook food?"

The bus pulls over next to us.

"I'm bringing a microwave," Andre paces back and forth, as I entered the bus.

I shake my head, "No, you ain't."

"Maybe," Andre starts to walk away. "See you soon, Skye-with-an-e."

The doors close before I can reply. The bus passes him by and a pit in my stomach forms, as I catch the sad look on his face as he walks down the dimly lit street, alone.

Andre's POV

I enter the quiet house, nodding at my parents sitting on the couch. Adrian emerges from his room.

"Did they leave?"

I nod again, trying to hide the fact my anxiety is slowly creeping up to me.

"Can you sing? I'm playing Can't Help Falling in Love on the Uke," Adrian holds up the tiny instrument.

I smile, sweetly at him, "Sure thing."

Adrian and I enter the room. I sing, even though I don't sing well, he keeps playing. The song finishes.

My mom peeks her head in the room, "Dad and I are going out, sleep early okay? 10:30 lang."

"Okay, mom," I walk them out and close the garage for them as they pull out of the driveway.

I lock myself in my room. I dig in my duffel bag of alcohol from under my bed.

I press my ear against the door, to be sure Adrian wasn't roaming the house.

The coast was clear. In the small pocket, I take out anti-depressant medication, and from the main bag, I pull out three cans of palm bay.

I pour four pills into my hands, crack open a can, and dropping the pills in my mouth. I swallow them with the alcohol. It'll kick in soon. I smile at myself, knowing the attacks wouldn't come, and the feeling of loneliness would go away.

I become lost in myself, the pills kicking in quickly.

I drank the night away, quietly tucking the empty cans back into the duffel bag. I shove it deep under my bed. My surroundings were foggy, but I feel good. The last thing I remember is the roaring thunderstorm outside, and the rain pounding against the window. The storm knocks and knocks against the glass, hypnotizing me into hidden drunken thoughts.

All too soon, I pass out on the carpet floor.


	23. Breathing Underwater

_Jul_ y. _20, 2019_  
_Two days until camping_

Skye's POV

I pant lightly, returning home from a jog. I went to a nearby park; it was usually empty on hot days like this. I take a giant gulp of water, trying to sustain myself against this heat. 

Other than just sitting around in my house and my room, I would go jogging occasionally. It was an excuse to get out of my house. To get away from my abusive family during the day, and to pass the unbearable element known as time. It's also healthy to exercise; I need to be able to get in and around places if I'm kicked out again, or if my brother is pushing me around.

Getting kicked out is a blessing sometimes. I hate being forced out of the only home around my vicinity, mainly because of how hard it is to find someplace to stay. I was too far from my friends, and communing from bus to bus, there's a risk of encountering creeps, pedophiles, and crackheads. 

I have enough money to go to a motel or book a cheap hotel room, but I'm fifteen. Desk receptionists and managers are going to be very suspicious, so I avoid going to those places in general and sneak into Wal-Marts or other stores to sleep. It's bitter work, but I get away with it sometimes.

Despite being hesitant to take the bus, I didn't altogether avoid them. Hell, I take a bus to Andre's almost every day now. I know Marjorie and the others would help me out, if and when I get kicked out again, but it didn't make it any easier. Dragging them into this made me feel incredibly guilty. I couldn't always rely on them; they might not be here one day. I've been cherishing everything they've done for me, this whole thing can't last forever, can it?

As I untie my hair from its ponytail, I pocket my hair tie into my sweater pocket. I pat my wet hands on a towel I had tucked in my leggings' pocket.

I take a breather, leaning against the door frame. 

Something to my left startles me. It stings me across my face, the pain beginning to ache incredibly.

"Ow!" I yelp, nearly falling into the shoe rack. "What the hell was that for, Brian?"

My brother, with a smug look on his face, tosses the football up and down in the air, "Just wanted to give you a little coming-home gift, again."

I roll my eyes, painfully remembering him beating me up the first night I returned home. That was last week, just for waking him up accidentally for getting a snack. I'm glad my dad didn't wake up though, he would've probably kicked me out again, or beat the shit out of me. Brian's satisfaction would be more of that than when he brings a girl home. I can't believe girls are stupid enough to fall for his words just for one night of meaningless sex. It's mind-boggling.

It's also unbelievable that when I impulsively act out of line towards my brother, I get in trouble for it. Okay, sure, when I overreact, it's my bad, but my parents can at least try to understand a little that Brian is an annoying sack of shit. But they don't, they're almost as stupid as him.

They've walked in on Brian slapping me across the face many times before but just continued their daily businesses. To think that he tormented my friends, and he attends a school across the city. It made me angry, but I was powerless to do anything.

Of course, over the years, I gained a bit of strength to defend myself, but that's due to the countless times Brian beat me up. I've learned that no matter how many times I try to protect myself, I still lose in the end, so I give in and pray for the long moments to be over.

I ignore him, trudging towards my room. I shut it tight and make my way over to my bed to lay down. I stare up at the ceiling, thinking about how they might abandon me for being siblings with Brian. 

The stories they were telling of what he would say to them what he would do to them made me sick. Brian just had to move nearer to them, which made it worse. Humans jump to conclusions, even the nicest ones. So, who is to say that they wouldn't think of me differently? Just because I'm Brian's nice sister, doesn't mean everything will be okay. If anything, that'll be my title to everyone else that goes to Beth, and anyone affiliated with him.

My door flies open; I see Brian standing at the door, his broad shoulders puffing up as he looks at me.

"My girlfriend is coming over soon," Brian sneers, whipping his football close to my feet. "Don't say anything weird or stupid. Or else you're getting it later."

I avoid his eyes, keeping my voice low, "Sure, whatever."

"Watch your tone, sis," Brian snorts. "Don't make me tell dad to kick you out again; he'll listen to me."

He marches off to the front door as the doorbell rings. He leaves my bedroom door wide open. I got up, shut it quietly, then stop in my tracks. My stomach grumbles. I realize I hadn't eaten since the morning and it was nearing two o'clock in the afternoon.

I change out of my jogging attire into my usual style of clothes. Even when jogging, I still wore the necklace and bracelet Andre gave to me. I had a promise to keep, even if it did look funky with a purple Nike sweater and black leggings. I shove my running shoes under my bed and step towards the door.

I straighten my posture as I emerge from my room. His girlfriend notices me walking towards the kitchen. They were making out on the couch. I feel myself start to gag, and I can sense the girl's eyes following me as I walk.

"Is that your sister?" She asks with a nasty voice.

She had this cliché, snotty cheerleader voice. It's so Goddamn annoying. Kara is probably the only reason Brian moved to Tommy Douglas. She used to go to Holy Cross, too, but a party he hosted last year lost him a friend. 

Kara cheated on Brian's best friend, Caleb, with him, and what did Brian do? Nothing. Just kept kissing her and probably did her in our washroom.

But I can't blame her. She's probably had bad influences throughout her high school career. Can't believe Caleb found something in her no one else did, and even in the end, he forgave her.

Brian scoffs, "Yeah, and like all younger siblings, she's pretty useless."

They continue their sloppy session. If I didn't throw up now, I'd throw up later.

Luckily for me, I still had somewhat of an appetite. I rummage through our food cabinet and take out a bag of chips. I quietly make my way to my room, stuffing my face with a load of Hickory Sticks and drop a few on the floor. I bent over to retrieve them, and in the corner of my ear, I hear tapping.

"Yes, Brian?" I say collectively, walking back into the kitchen to throw away the chips I had dropped.

He clears his throat, "Can't you see we're busy?

"Yeah, but I live in this house too," I say dryly, motioning back to my room. "I'm hungry, so just leave me the hell alone."

His eyes shoot daggers through me.

"Watch it," He sharply yells, causing me to jitter back slightly. "Now, where were we?"

I think I dug myself a grave. I'm aware of my impulsivity, but weirdly enough, I always chose never to deal with it. It was stupid, the smartest thing to do was to learn how to control myself during situations that angered or scared me.

Even so, I don't change. Another side effect of my abuse, which is a defense mechanism gone wrong because off all the yelling that I experience almost all day.

It not only hurts my heart, but it's painful to get an earful almost every day, it makes me want to scream. The things my whole family tell me are hurtful, they dig at my heart, shooting down all confidence I gained that day. It rings in my head like a church bell. It's so loud I can't block it out.

Sometimes, I would panic and would be unable to control my emotions, which ends up with me getting hit by my mom or my dad, along with getting sent off in the streets again. Mostly my mom and Brian hit me, and those two would never stop until they knew I was a helpless pulp in the corner, crying.

Fifteen minutes pass by; I was waiting for my inevitable doom inside my room. Heavy stomps towards my door make the floor shake. Brian opens up the door, red in the face filled with anger.

"What'd I fucking say? Are you stupid?" He asks, approaching my bed as I was lying down.

I stare blankly at him, standing my ground, "It was a joke."

"You embarrassed me," Brian's nose scrunches up, and he gritted his teeth. "I fucking told you not too!"

"I didn't embarrass you," I reply silently, staring down at my palms. "I was hungry, and you were rude."

He slaps me across the face. I grunt as I fell back to the sharp pain that spread across my cheek. The stinging of his palm remains, even after rubbing my cheek with my own hand.

I wince, and felt a well of tears under my sunken eyes, "What? Can I not make jokes?"

"Stop being such a fucking smartass," Brian yells, his small specs of saliva landing on my face. I bring my sleeve up to my face to wipe; then, I feel being pulled away with such great force.

I resist, grabbing on the bedsheets, "Stop! I'm sorry! Let me go!"

Brian is too strong. He pushes my body roughly against the wall, purposely slamming my head into it. I tuck my head and hold it in pain, hoping this was it, that he'd be done.

I groan in pain, hesitating to say another word, "What's wrong with–"

His palm slams onto the back of my neck, which made me drop headfirst into the floor. Punches in my hip rain down on me. The heavy ringing in my ears grew louder and louder; the endless pain never ceasing at all.

I moan in pain as I feel his foot collide with my cheek, his nail scraping my skin and drawing blood. I reach up weakly, feeling the blood pouring down my fingers.

Brian laughs loudly, cocking his brow, "So fucking weak, aren't ya, sis? You'd usually fight back, but I guess you got smarter since you decided to give up so early."

My breathing is staggered. The blood and tears drip down my cuts, making them sting.

I try to get up to find solace in my bed, only to be pushed down into the metal bed frames.

"Fuck!" I fall onto my knees, breathing heavily, extremely winded. "Just... Stop.. please.."

I breathe slowly, my words coming out like tiny whistles. I feel him tug at my necklace. In an instant, I become fully alert. He's attempting to pull off Andre's gift. Unknown energy flows through me, and the pain unnaturally subsides quicker.

"Stop! It's mine!" I shriek piercingly. "Let go!"

Brian snickers, sluggishly letting go of it and kicking me away, "Who gave this to you? Don't tell me someone actually gave this to a pathetic excuse of a human being! I hope they realize you're fucking useless too!"

"He won't–"

"Shut up, cunt," Brian flashes me a cocky grin. "If you made friends this summer, it's only because they pitied you. They don't care about you, watch. Whoever these people are, are either as useless and pathetic as you, or they felt bad for such a small and weak person."

I didn't say a word, an exasperated expression on my face looks up to stare at him, allowing the words to sink in. My eyes fall to the floor, I tuck my chin into my chest and stand there, not knowing how to respond.

He laughs louder, letting his words ring in my ear — pathetic _, excuse, weak, useless, useless, useless._

I dizzily lay down in my bed. He slams my door loudly. The words keep on looping in my head. What if they did feel bad for me? That's why they're my friends. But they've told me so much about themselves already, about their pasts. Lance and John even taught me how to care and tell. Andre and Marjorie cared so deeply about me. Did they only do this out of pity?

Was I a person only to feel pity for?

I lift my shirt and see the bruises on my pale skin. They form quick. Touching one made me shiver and jump. I take out my camera to see the cut on my face. It wasn't that deep; it was like a papercut, which is why it hurt so bad.

The questions linger in my head. A pulsing, sharp headache kept giving me a throbbing sensation on my temples.

"Oh, god," I mutter to myself sadly, still shocked beyond belief. "What if it's true?"

The rain outside slams against my windows in a pattern. It wasn't as bad as the storm that happened after we were at Andre's.

It's still raining, though. The skies above must feel my pain. 

Whatever God was out there, let this happen to me, they let me down again.

I bury my face in my sleeve, my eyes prickling greatly from the pain of crying. My lipstick smears onto the red of my shirt.

"It can't be true," I try to deny it, finding every excuse to stay with them, that what he told me wasn't true, it couldn't be true. "It can't. I won't let it."

Suddenly, my door swings open. I see a plastic bag fall onto my dark wooden floor. It lands next to my white dresser, in front of my mirror.

"Father?" I stutter in fear, peering over my bed frame to see him.

His face is filled with rage, "Brian tells me, you embarrassed him?"

I plead with him, but keep my voice quiet and calm, "I didn't, sir. I was just hungry and wanted to get a snack." I point to the bag of chips in the corner of my room.

He ridicules me, "What did I say? You must support your brother, no matter what. Starve if you have too, you can eat anytime you want, anyway."

"But--"

"No buts," He slams his foot onto the floor, causing a jolt to course through my body. "There's your bag, leave and think of what you did."

"I was‐‐."

"I don't want to see you till next month," My father points to my calendar. "Which is in two weeks."

I sputter, rising from my bed, "I was already thrown out two weeks ago."

"I don't care," He screams. A familiar coolness drops into the tips of my fingers and toes. He approaches the side of my bed. He is looming over me, casting a shadow over my body. He places his hand on my head and drives it forward. I fall into my bed, weakly. "Now, leave. You may not return until next week, understood?"

The majority of my clothes were left at Andre's house. Along with the rest of the supplies I needed to bring during camping. Suddenly, it hit me. Camping was soon. Very soon. The timing couldn't have worked out perfectly, which didn't even matter. I could be gone for more than a week, and they wouldn't notice unless they needed me home. They'd track me down, so if I did go camping, they'd probably go to Pike Lake and find me to make a scene in front of the others. I can't even say if they would defend me or not, especially since what Brian said could be true.

I gather up some extra clothes, wallet, toothbrush, makeup, phone charger, and a tiny chocolate bar Nick gave me during the bonfire two days ago. I put my electric guitar into a bag and hefted it over my shoulders.

"Where the hell did you get that?" My father asks, sounding even angrier than before. "I thought we forbade instruments that had no class, Skye Crandall! You're a disgrace to our name! The only instruments we should be using are sophisticated, classical ones."

He points to the grand in our living room, "Learn how to play that, instead of that. It sounds like absolute garbage! It's a garbage instrument for garbage people! You're living up to trash!"

I gulp, swallowing the massive lump in my throat, "I borrowed it from a music store."

He shakes his head. My father escorts me towards the door, "You better not be going to anyone's house, Skye."

"If I were, why can't I?" I ask, refusing to look up at him.

He lifts my chin aggressively. The grey hairs on his head swaying briskly as the wind and rain droplets fell into the house, "Look at me when I'm talking to you, young lady!"

"Yes, sir," I stutter, shakily raising my head to look at him.

"You can't take handouts from anyone," He chuckles. "That would make you less than those homeless folks out on the streets. As a Crandall, you must know how to live for yourself, without the assistance of anyone less than you. Though you have proven to me that you are down at their level with that.. horrid instrument you are carrying."

I nod, agreeing, "Yes." I lie, I just wanted to get out of the house and go to Andre.

I need him badly. He knows what to do for me. 

I completely block out what Brian had told me, letting myself calm down, imagining Andre's gentle touch on my face, his warm hugs along with his heartbeat drumming against my chest.

"Bye, loser!" I hear from across the house. "Have fun soaking in the rain, sis!"

My dad ignores him, then boots me out. I look up into clouds, letting the rain wash my pain away. Both the droplets of rain and tears streamed down my face, wiping away my mascara.

I find peace in the rain, the tiny sounds as they hit pavement and grass and leaves soothe me to the bone. It's only temporary, but I savour every moment before time passes, and my mind shifts.

There's water everywhere. A stream of it is travelling along the curb into a sewer drain. I wish it'd be big enough to drown in, but I wouldn't think of going into a large body of water, even if it was an easy way to escape this horrible life.

The plastic bag was a downgrade from before. My clothes are now soaking, shielding my phone, and other items I brought along with me that can be destroyed by water damage. I tie a tight knot, then walk away from my house to the bus stop. I shiver and try to conserve as much heat as I can by wrapping myself in my arms.

People might view walking alone in the rain, having nowhere to go as a bad thing. But, I'd rather be anywhere else than where I lived. I wanted to be as far away as possible.

I sit on the wet sidewalk, my clothes and hair becoming slushed in the rain. I sniffle and shutter, looking from one end of the road to the next to see if any buses would come.

The words Brian put in my head keep ringing. It hurt so bad, and the truth may hurt even more if what he told me was correct.

I needed to feel safe, and Andre always made me feel safe and protected. 

Andre's face flashes around in my head. This never happened before; I'd always see him in my thoughts. I presumed they only came at three in the morning when my mind spiraled out of control.

It seems I've been thinking about him a lot lately. I feel the butterflies flapping against my stomach again, temporarily knocking the damage on my heart unconscious. I know for a fact that he was my escape, the person I needed right now.

The feeling of being safe gives me hope. I don't know whether or not I make him feel the same, God; I hope I do. I want to return the favour to him to give back what he's given me: solace, protection, and the feeling that someone does care. One person can make a difference, and I don't think I'm that for Andre.

Come to think about it, Andre and the others are the only ones that ever made me feel safe about where I was and where I would go, I knew they'd always be there when I needed them. And I wouldn't abandon them ever, especially not after everything they've done for someone like me. 

Even if they did abandon me eventually, I'd cherish all the moments they've given me and move on. No matter how hard it would be, I know that I'd be able to move on.

I have before, anyway.


	24. It Will Rain

July. 20, 2019  
Two days until camping

Andre's POV

I wobble around the empty house, wreaking of alcohol. My family went to Evening Mass. I didn't want to go and made an excuse. I'm pretty much bedridden at this point. I had a stomach bug yesterday. It was because I drank way too much than I should have. I passed out, luckily my parents didn't check on me, and I had time to clean up my room even in the state I was in.

After that, I threw up in my washroom, which alerted my brother. He promptly woke up with my parents. They gave me anti-nausea medication, which made me tired, but I took another one to get to sleep, to know that I wouldn't have to deal with an inevitable attack. The only thing I had to deal with was my reoccurring nightmare. It's only bearable to endure because I know exactly when it would be over, and that is when I wake up. I lose my track of time during an attack, and with that, I lose my sanity, I panic, something I should not be doing, yet my mind controls me in different ways than I can even control myself.

I fall back and slump into the island in the kitchen. In my blurry haze, I distinguish someone at the glass on my front door. They knock frantically. It alerts me. I almost feel frightened, it was 6:45 in the evening, and it couldn't have been any of my friends. It's pouring outside; it'd be stupid to go out in this weather unless they had transportation.

Despite being drunk out of my mind, I walk down the stairs, hopping down each step with remarkable precision. I swing open the front door, and the winds of the brewing thunderstorm blow me back as it seeps into the house. 

The weather had gotten worse than the last time I saw my parents out, which was half an hour ago. My eyes lazily adjust at the person standing at my doorstep. 

My heart drops, shattering into even tinier pieces when I recognize the familiar girl soaking in the rain, with an utterly pained expression on her face.

"Skye! Holy fuck, get in," I tug on her shoulder, realizing she had been out there knocking on my door for, God knows how long.

Her face is streaking with drips of water and sweat. Her lipstick is smeared, and mascara runs down her face in small numbers. Her eyes are entirely sunken in; it looks like she hasn't slept in days. She shivers and sits on the steps leading into my living room.

Being in a drunken state, my mind is foggy to the point where it's hard to even form a proper sentence without slurring a couple of words. I'd almost always forget the things I've done while being intoxicated. But, my concern over Skye and my friends would still be the only sober thoughts I'd have in my head. 

The only thing I can control in my mind is the love I have for the people I'm close to and care about.

Skye's clothes were dripping and battered up, discoloured almost. Was she walking in the rain? I hope to God I didn't leave her out there for so long, she must have waited an eternity before I opened the door as she remains sitting on the steps, a tiny puddle forming from the droplets of water dripping from her clothes and hair.

"Did you walk all the way here?"

Skye trembles, shaking her head, her eyes focused on her knees. Her voice is jarring, clearly still freezing after walking all the way here.

"I took the bus up until Confed."

"Why?"

"The bus going to your house was out of service, so I walked from Confed Mall to here."

Skye coughs violently and inhales sharply after; I almost think she's holding back tears when I glance at her eyes. There's a heaviness there I can feel, it hurts seeing her like this. Her hair is dampened and darker than usual. I feel her lower back. It's cold to the touch and moist. I bring the back of my palm up to her forehead and then her neck. She's warm, a little bit too warm. She most likely caught a fever out there.

I trip over myself, going to the pantry. I pull out two towels. I entered my room, still a mess from when I left it. Pills and cans were everywhere. Why my pills were spilt across my computer desk, I don't know. Why were there so many bottles scattered across my room? I can barely remember a thing after my parents left. If they came home and saw this, I'd be in deep shit. 

I place the towels down onto my bed and go back for Skye, who was slouching on the stairs.

"You poor thing," I dizzily heave her up, carrying her in a bridal style. "I'm kind of drunk, so if I let you fall, I'm sorry."

I cradle her to my room, her head tucking tightly against my chest. Her eyes past mine, and I can tell the heaviness that was once there is gone now.

Through her reddened, sad eyes and smeared make-up, she still finds it in herself to smile at me — such a beautiful smile. I thought I fell for Skye, but even now, I know in my heart I'm still falling. I know once my body hits the floor, the impact is going to be immense. I'm falling for this girl so hard, and I'm not stopping it, I'm running with it unlike before. 

Why was I so scared of this? It's such an incredible feeling, you can feel yourself plummeting towards the ground, yet you allow yourself too without any resistance. I know Skye will pick me up once I've fully descended into the ground. It doesn't even feel like a descend; it feels as if I'm raised into the clouds; it's an exhilarating feeling, an excitement I thought I'd never feel ever again.

I honestly can see myself falling for Skye every day until the day I die. Being friends is the hardest part because as much as I don't want to admit it, we're fantastic friends and should stay friends. There's no point in risking what we have because what we have is already magical. I wouldn't even know what to call us. 

We kiss each other except on the lips. Though they have never touched, it came very close before. I'm almost tempted just to kiss her on her lips one day. They smell like cherry. Her fragrance overall is this blueberry/vanilla scent that makes me go crazy. Her lips look tasty as hell. It's a temptation I might not be able to resist anymore the next time she's here.

And here she is, in my arms, her head against my chest.

Her glistening eyes didn't leave my face. I smile back, biting my bottom lip when I look at hers. They're swollen, and through the black smudge, there is pink. God, they looked absolutely fucking delicious. 

"Thank you," She whispers softly against me.

The thought of kissing her doesn't completely snap out of my mind. I'm just happy that I did something right today, something good.

"Why are you drinking by yourself?" Skye asks dejectedly with a sorrowful look on her face. Her lips purse.

I shush her quietly.

If you pucker your lips like that again, I think I might have to kiss you once you lay down.

I shake my head, "Don't worry about it," I kiss the top of her head, carefully setting her down on my bed. "I'll get a warm bath ready for you."

"Andre, please. It's okay," Skye's eyes plead with me. I almost listen to her; those eyes hypnotizing me once again.

I shush her once more.

"No!" I whisper loudly, trying not to raise my voice too loud. "Make yourself at home, m'kay, Bub?"

Skye stays silent. I head to the washroom and fill the bathtub with warm water. I kneel to open one of the drawers below the counter to see if we had any bath bombs, and luckily, we did. I let it fall into the water, seeing it disperse itself inside it. I slush the water around to get in, distributed faster and spin back into my room.

It startles me, seeing her up on her feet, holding the bottle of empty pills. Its contents, scattered on my desk.

Skye looks furious; Her face is as red as her hair, she looks like a volcano ready to erupt. Her dark blue eyes find me and study my face. She examines my face with pity, blinking a few times before looking back at the bottle.

She yells, tossing me the empty bottle of pills, "What were you doing with these? And where are your parents?"

"They're at evening mass," I answer sluggishly. "I was gonna clean that up, I think."

Despite my hazy vision, Skye's face is as clear as day to me. She's the only thing in this world that I've ever been able to see clearly, see someone for who they are without hiding anything. Skye is the light I've always needed but never got. It's better late than never.

Somehow Fate gave me this blessing of a girl of a human being so extraordinary and unique. She isn't truly mine, though it feels like it is. I can't let that give me tunnel vision if I deceive myself into thinking she is mine, and she doesn't feel the same, I'll ruin everything.

How can I trust myself with someone so precious when I can't even take care of myself. Skye has taken such great care of me; I'm afraid I haven't been returning it. I wish I can do more for her, this precious human being.

She shakes her head.

"Andre, how much of these have you taken?" She asks, whimpering sadly.

I count fingers, and hold up eight, "Freddie Mercury said it best: Being human is a condition that requires a little anesthesia."

Skye wraps her arms gently around me. The hug was warm, even though her clothes are still cold and wet. She nuzzles her face in my neck, ignoring the faint scent of alcohol. She inhales sharply, her breath, jagged and unstable.

She doesn't back away. My heart breaks when I hear the faint sobs coming out of her, her tears rolling off her face and landing on my neck. They continue streaming down my skin, slightly tickling me.

Skye cries loudly, "You could have died, what were you thinking?"

I shrug, "I'll tell you when I'm less drunk."

"Ugh, Andre..."

She pulls away, her mouth gaping open to say something. Instead, she looks into the washroom, her eyes growing wide and full of surprise.

"You didn't have to make me a bath," a sad smile touches her lips.

"You're cold, and probably going to catch a fever," I say, smiling back. "I'll make you chicken soup, and you can just relax."

I place her drenched guitar bag aside after I pulled her electric guitar out. It's slightly wet from all the water that seeped through. There looks to be no water damage on it, just tiny drops of water along the head of the guitar. The strings are intact, not even moist to the touch. 

I return from the basement after putting all her wet clothes in the laundry. Her guitar is dried and set aside in the living room. 

Skye is sitting, wallowing away on the stairs leading into my parents' room.

I dig through my pantry and hand her one extra-strength pill. She takes it hesitantly after I give her a glass of warm water.

Skye's eyes meet mine as she drinks the medicine.

She breathes deeply. 

"I'm sorry for coming unannounced," She says, her body quivering. "I hope your parents'll let me stay here until we go camping."

"Did your family kick you out again?" I ask reluctantly, ignoring the last comment she made.

Her lips shake and curl, her eyes dripping a few tears, "Yes."

I wrap my arm around her shoulder. I gently brush under her eyes, sending a few tears away.

"You're so strong. You're staying no matter what my parents say, okay?"

Her eyes lighten up, a small smile tugging at her lips, "Thank you, but it wouldn't be wise to disobey your parents."

"I disobey my parents all the time," I kiss her temple softly. "And I'd do anything for you."

She bites her lip. 

I embrace her again, in an attempt to somehow take away her pain. I'd gladly take all her pain just to see her smile again. I want to see her happy.

I sigh, letting out a fake smile, "Get into that bath, you smell like muddy water."

Skye laughs her beautiful laugh. It makes my stomach tickle lightly.

"Thanks for making me feel even better, Andre."

I beam, after hearing her beautiful laugh again, "I'll sober up and clean my room. We can catch up, but only after you take a bath. And look, don't regret coming here. My family and I love your company."

She nods appreciatively, inspecting my eyes carefully, eventually agreeing to the purple water awaiting her in the washroom.

"Okay," Skye mutters expressionlessly. "Cheeseball."

The door slowly closes, and with the sound of a click, it locks. I scurry to clean up my room, making sure to gather up every pill scattered across my desk and the floor. I store the cans away in my duffel bag, then proceed to shove it down under my bed.

I walk into a kitchen, intent in making a hangover smoothie. I see a few avocados in our fruit tray next to the stove. 

It's a simple hangover remedy, an avocado smoothie. I take the blender out of its box and begin the steps of assembling the smoothie.

I finish drinking my glass and tuck the pitcher into the fridge; my mom would want some once she got home.

I hear the lock of the washroom clink and hear someone silently giggling before visiting me in the kitchen.

Skye turns the corner and my eyebrows scrunches, seeing her wearing my Captain America t-shirt, which is way too big and baggy on her.

It stretches past her thighs; she must be wearing short-shorts.

"That's my shirt," I blink twice before serving a bowl of soup for her.

Skye puffs, "It's mine now."

"But--"

"It's mine," She cuts me off. "It's comfy, too; it smells like you."

I erupt into a burst of laughter, "Creep."

My eyes couldn't resist. I eye her up and down subtly, my stomach knotting. She looks so fucking cute, and her legs are pale and perfect. 

She looks so sexy if she steps any closer, I might eat her up.

I shake my head rapidly. I can't think of Skye that way, nope. Unless?

"Says you!" She shouts, her face turning bright red. "You just checked me out!"

Nevermind, I can't. That shout was adorable.

I shrug unapologetically. I wink at her, her face brightening up even more. 

"What can I say? You're cute."

Shit, I said it out loud. I mean, it's true, but I can't let my thoughts slip out like that. What if I called her sexy when I thought it?

"Okay, Cheeseball," She skips next to me.

I'm at the counter and slide her the bowl of my special, homemade chicken soup.

This shit is fucking good. It can cure the common cold, mend a broken heart, and make your view of life full of wonderous, excitement; it is that good.

Skye dips the spoon and takes a long sip. Her face twitched, trying to hold back a satisfied grin, "Wow, this is good."

"Is it better than the metal and punk music you listen too?" I place my chin on top of her head.

Skye nods rapidly, "Oh my God, I don't know. It comes close."

"Packaged chicken soup is statistically worse than homemade," I smile. "You're lucky I know how to make homemade stock, but it's honestly average compared to what others have made."

"Don't be so modest," She looks up at me, pushing a lock of my hair aside. "It's delicious. I'm warming up already."

There she goes again, her beautiful face is hypnotizing me, and she doesn't even know it — her pale skin glistening with tiny drops of sweat. 

I dug my kitchen cabinet for a clean cloth, and when I found one, I gently wiped the droplets away.

She smiles at me, appreciatively, "You didn't have to do that, either."

I didn't reply, just stared at her eating my soup. It seems like forever I was just there, admiring her silently with dreamy eyes. She takes notice of it but didn't say anything. She just simpers at me after she finishes the soup.

Fuck, if she keeps doing shit like that, I might have to act up.

I tug on her arm. I cautiously and gently pull for her to come to my room, "C'mere."

I delicately drag her into my room, being careful not to scrape one of her scabs mistakenly. I lay her down.

"I'm not a baby, Andre."

"You're right," I softly move a strand of hair away from her forehead. "You're a princess."

She rolls her eyes.

"You should rest," I tell her. "You were all wobbly when eating."

Skye shakes her head, pleadingly, "Really, I'll be fine. You don't have to worry about me all the time." Her eyes sink, and her lips pull into a frown.

I tuck her in with a blanket. I plant the chair in my room next to the bed, "It's only 7:30, but I don't want you to start feeling sick by just standing around."

I stroke her soft cheek and notice a tiny cut on her face. I frown, "Oh no, what happened?"

Skye pauses for a moment, then finally speaks with a crack in her voice. 

"I accidentally scratched my face earlier when I was walking. My mistake."

I plant a gentle kiss on the cut, standing up and passing the door frame, "Wait here."

She starts to cough violently as she did before. I rush back into the room. I bring the back of my hand to her neck again, noticing it was warmer than before.

"Skye, you're sick," I tell her.

She argues with me desperately, "I'm fine, Andre. I'm telling you to relax right now; I'll be fine."

"Too bad," I stubbornly open my closet to take out the folding table my Grandpa made. I set it up next to the bed, then tread to the kitchen to pour her another bowl of chicken soup.

As I return, she remains on my bed motionless. Her head juts toward me. I place the bowl onto the table and hold onto the wet cloth.

"You're overthinking, Andre," She sighs deeply. "Please, I don't want you to work yourself up over me."

"How many times do I have to tell you," I take a deep breath, grazing a finger over her red hair, still silky to the touch. "...I will do anything to care for you, okay? No questions asked I'll do anything."

Skye stays silent. There's this glimmer of hope I feel manifesting from her, radiating at me and letting me know she's happy.

I touch her forehead with mine. My chest heats up, but that didn't stop me from just staying there with her. I'm half-tempted to lean in, but this moment is too sweet, too jarring for me to potentially ruin it.

I intently gaze upon her shining dark blue eyes before placing the damp cloth over her forehead. I sit on the bed next to her and scoop a spoonful of broth. I blow on it before carefully feeding it to her.

"You know I can do this myself, right?" Skye lets out, sipping the broth carefully. 

I snicker as I continue to feed her, "I know, I just wanna do everything for you."

"You're treating me like a baby," Skye groans. "I'm not a baby, stop, I can eat myself."

She tries to reach for the spoon. I retreat my arm and click my tongue, "Ah-ah-ah, I don't care if I'm treating you like one; you deserve to be treated like a princess tonight."

She rolls her eyes, "Ugh."

"I'll tell you why my room was messy if you let me feed you," I suggest this ultimatum.

Skye thinks for a moment, her eyebrows knitting, "Fine."

I clap, "Yay! Here comes the airplane."

Skye grunts, a melancholy expression planted on her face, "Kill me now, please."

She hesitantly lets the spoon enter her mouth. I giggle, "I can't believe you let me do that."

"Only because I wanna know," Skye stretches her arms. "Now, get to talking."

I put the spoon back into the bowl. I explain when and how the substance abuse transpired, and why I did it.

Skye looks at me and lets out an exhalation of disappointment, "Andre, there are other ways to cope with PTSD and anxiety; this isn't the right way."

I agree, nodding solemnly, "Yeah. When you guys are over, I forget about it. Loneliness triggers everything that's wrong with me. The anxiety I feel when you guys leave is too much to handle."

I frown, biting my lip, "I know it's stupid I'm doing this, but I can't handle being alone."

"Who knows?"

"Thu Thu, just Thu Thu," I answer honestly. "I thought y'all would think it was silly for me to be so worked up over being lonely."

Skye laments, scratching her cheek, "Andre, we all care for you, as much as you care for us. You always taught me that people have different ways of showing it."

"I understand that," I say, finding words to say. "Can I tell you something?"

I glance at her once more, and at this exact moment, I absolutely, positively, accepted the feelings I had for her. Before it was just a thought, I believed that they were there, but refused to act on them, to truly tell myself that I liked this girl, that I'd like her for all that she is and all that she will be.

I only denied acknowledging them in the first place because of my lack of trust with myself and the future. If I did end up with Skye, who's to say the same thing won't happen? Girls have always left me first. I never had to break up with anyone. I always thought there was something wrong with me.

That's the thing, though. Feelings are supposed to come at the worst time, during the most random moments even. They're supposed to be unexplained, and as time passes, they'll explain themselves.

If we don't choose to accept them, we may never learn to understand them. The way Skye makes me feel is indescribable. I thought the break-up would kill me, and it did for a while. I believed I'd never love again. Up until the day I first saw the redhead from across the store with the pretty blue eyes and dark red hair, I never found any girl attractive at all.

Now I'm like her unconditionally; there are no boundaries I wouldn't cross for Skye. I want to do everything for her and anything she wants me to be.

It seems out of the blue for me; I feel like I moved on too quickly. But just like those random crushes you fall for, it was exactly like this. You fall for people for no reason, and it's up to you to find those reasons and accept them. Fuck the past, fuck all the problems. Falling for Skye will be a problem for future Andre, and I know he'll deal with them accordingly.

I wasn't going to confess to her directly, just subtly.

"Mhm," Skye sits up straight on the bed, blanket tucked around her legs.

I brace myself. 

"I'm about to dig myself into a deeper hole now, cool? Cool."

Skye raises her eyebrows and gestures at me to continue speaking, "Go on."

She has a nervous look on her face as if she knows what I was about to say.

I apprehensively stutter and lean back into my seat, taking off my glasses and setting them down onto the foldable table.

Her pupils dilate when I match her eyes, "What, you've seen me without glasses before?"

Skye's laugh didn't meet her expression, "I have. Just not paired with messy hair." Skye had a dreamlike grin spread across her pale face.

"You look pretty," She mumbles quietly, fidgeting with her fingers tensely.

"What was that?" I nudge her leg, tilting my head. I stifle a smile from escaping my lips. "It sounded like you said I was pretty."

She hastily clears off the grin she has on her face and jolts her eyes away from me.

Skye shakes her head in a slight panic, her voice stumbling every time she attempts to speak.

"I said you look shitty," Skye scoffs, crossing her arms weakly under the blanket. "Now talk."

"Suuureee," I sound almost skeptical, even I don't believe she actually said that. I struggle to continue speaking. "Now, stop with the jokes. Time to get serious."

"Wow, seriously?" Skye wonders out loud, bringing a finger under her chin. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Not really, nope," I chuckle awkwardly. "If you could tell, I haven't been feeling okay all day."

"Oh, I noticed," She replies almost sarcastically, but managing to still sound frigid. "Never thought I would ever hear the words, 'Time to get serious' come out of your mouth."

I take a sharp breath, then meet her eyes, finally finding my voice.

"Thanks... for being here. Not just here in the moment, but here the past week every day, here hanging out with me and the others, making music with me, and overall just being one of the greatest friends I'm ever gonna have in my life."

"Ouch," Skye holds her heart playfully and lets her face fall into the bed. In a muffled voice, she utters, "Friendzoned."

"I didn't know you had a crush on me," I try to act surprised. Was she serious?

Skye rises to lean against the wall again. She wet her lips and tosses her eyes around in her head, "It was a joke. But, I guess you'll never know if I'm lying about anything."

"I mean, I can ask you anytime--"

"Don't interrogate me," Skye beams, despite herself. "You know me; I don't like being questioned unless it's about something serious."

I flatten my shirt and glower at her, "I said this was serious."

"I take it back, don't interrogate me for any reason," Skye's laugh echoes the room.

That laugh is everything. It's sexy, adorable and unique all at the same time. The fact that she doesn't know it, makes me want to kiss her even more.

But I wouldn't, I can't. Not right now, anyway.

"Whatever you say, Skye-with-an-e," I watch her sway her head disapprovingly. "Your crush on me is a discussion for another day."

Skye's face glows again, "I don't have a crush-- you know what, nevermind."

"Good girl," I cheer and clear my throat. "I'll repeat myself: Thanks again for being here. Listening. Not just here right now, being here every day last week. Here hanging out with me and the others, making music with me, and overall just being one of the greatest friends I'm ever gonna have in my life."

Skye looks at me in curiosity; her eyes examine my face and seem to be sparkling. The stars in her eyes have not left since the day I met her.

"Thank you for also always coming to me for help with small or big problems, well, recently you have," I add, shyly smiling at her stunned expression. "I would've expected you to go to Marjorie's after being kicked out again, you know. Even during our project, I still felt like you were fonder of her than me. Not that there's a problem with that."

Skye twiddles her thumbs, restlessly, "I was thinking of going to Marjorie's, but something drew me here instead."

"My house?"

"No," Skye catches her breath, her jowls glowing more radiant. "...To you. Something drew me to you."

My heart melts instantly. I again, contemplate kissing her, but I didn't. If I don't do it now, I'll probably regret it, but my fears and hesitations are holding me back. This is going to turn into one of those 'You'll regret it if you don't do it' moments, I feel it.

"Whatever it was, I'm glad it brought you here," I lift two fingers to her forehead and poke her. "Really, really glad."

We sit in silence for a moment. Time seemingly moves slower as it passes by. I peer over at Skye, who is already staring at me. She turns her head quickly, trying to act as if I didn't see her.

"I wasn't staring," She says. "Don't quip, please. Please."

I let Skye beg for another minute before poking her forehead again. She rubs it and purses her lips, "It's gonna bruise soon if you keep doing that."

I smile, kissing her softly on the forehead. Skye's eyes widen, wider than I've ever seen them. She blushes, looking flustered, not knowing what to do or say. It's unusual to see her react like this, as I occasionally kissed her to comfort her.

"You know, despite how you didn't trust other people, you trusted us, trusted me," I continue, not breaking my lingering gaze at her eyes. My heart thunders against my chest. I'm starting to feel emotional for no apparent reason. "...Over the years of getting to know all these different people and making friends, everyone would eventually hear all the jokes, the piano, sometimes even the bass guitar..."

Skye frowns, her eyes shifting from me to her toes poking outside the blanket, "And?"

I sigh, shaking my head and leaning forward in my chair, "...And after a while, they'd stop listening. You didn't."

Skye cocks her head to the side and sweetly smiles at me. She extends an arm to hold my hand. I thread mine through hers.

As always, it fits perfectly into mine. She strokes her thumb against my skin comfortingly.

"That's sweet, Andre. You're sweet," Skye's lips pull into a tiny grin, her face colours itself a light shade of pink. "I didn't stop listening to you because you, and our friends helped me find a clear path of understanding of people. Without you all, I wouldn't be here."

"Glad we could help, Skye," I gratefully peck at her hands, peppering it with tiny kisses.

With a collective sigh of relief, she soothingly brushes my hand with her thumb.

"You've helped me so much. Even when the baggage I have to carry around is too much to handle, you didn't leave, either. Unlike the last group of people, I opened up too."

"Your baggage ain't heavy," I reassure her. "In a way, if eight people help you carry it, it'll be as light as a feather."

Skye's lips shudder as her shiny eyes remain fixated on my face, "Words can't even explain how thankful I am for all of you."

I squeeze her hand tightly before inevitably letting go. I bring my hands behind my head and sunk into my chair again, deep in thought.

I'm thrilled beyond any explanation in the heat of the moment. 

"I just wanted to let you know how I felt about you," I widen my eyes, my mind slowly processing what I had just let slip out of my mouth. "Fuck."

Skye confusedly curls her lips, then her face perks up at the realization, "YOU LIKE ME."

"NO. STOP."

"YOU DO! OH WOW, YOU'RE SO EASY," She kicks her legs up and down in amusement. "I'M SO SORRY FOR LAUGHING. IT'S JUST, WOW."

"STOP NOW. STOP," I yell as my entire body heats up. I feel like I'm over an open flame. My heart rate picks up; it's as if my heart is a shooting star. "STOP, I AM NOT EASY. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?"

"You caught feelings for me so easily!" Skye giggles excitedly, her voice becoming quieter and quieter as she begins to ponder around in her thoughts. She blushes fiercely and gawks at me with quite the perplexing appearance on her face.

She bites her lip anxiously, looking at me with uncertainty, "Wait... why?"

I shift around awkwardly, avoiding her sunken, but shiny eyes. Biting my lip, I attempt to search for the words to reply to her.

I clear my throat and stutter before finding it in myself to speak.

"Is that even a question? Have you met you? If you hadn't met me, someone would have at least tried to sweep you off your feet." I gulp, finally meeting her gaze. "I mean, just look at you. You're one of the prettiest girls to ever walk this planet. And under all that tough exterior, you're our Soft Goth Queen. You're very special to our friends and me, especially."

Skye tilts her head, her face still glowing as red as her silky hair. The stars in her eyes are back, "You're fucking flirty and cheesy all the time, aren't you? You don't seem to have a limit, huh?"

"Nope," I scratch the back of my head. "I think for our sake, we should remain friends. For now, at least."

Skye looks disappointed; it makes me think if this was the right thing telling her that at all.

Sure, we had our moments of flirtiness. I feel like I'm already taking things fast as is, kissing her everywhere but the lips, and telling her things only couples tell each other. She may feel the same way I do about going about this too quickly. I only kiss her because, to me, kissing a friend is a casual thing. I did stop when I was with Indigo, but after, I started doing it again during moments of joy and celebration. I kissed Skye to comfort her, I could tell it notably made her feel better most of the time, just the feeling of another person caring about her made it enough for her to calm down.

Skye nods in agreement, "I agree. We're going a bit too fast, especially the way we flirt. And kiss. If I were to like you, I would more or less feel the same."

I was kind of hoping she did like me back. Only time would tell if she did, time would always tell. Skye has never, ever experienced positive human feelings from another human being. Maybe a teacher or her old friends used to give her those positive flare-ups, but not the ones we've given her. Skye already felt somewhat comfortable with us previously and trusts us. She's finally part of a real family.

Just as long as she feels safe and protected, it's alright. If flirting is her way of coping, then I'll be that for her.

We sit in silence, awkwardly. I lay down beside her, wrapping myself up like a burrito, "MOVIE!"

Skye boops the tip of my nose before google-casting her phone to the T.V. Her fingers dance across her phone's keyboard, searching for a movie or T.V. show. 

She decides on watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I clap within the blanket enthusiastically.

"You remembered my favourite movie!" I celebrate, then snuggle next to her.

"Your favourite movie is actually Bohemian Rhapsody," She corrects emphatically, letting her head rest on top of mine for a moment. "Another correction! You like Avengers: Endgame more than Winter Soldier, and also more than BohRhap. Suck it, Burrito Boy.

"Wow, first of all: leave the nicknames to me. Second of all: good memory," I add, taking in the sweet fragrance of her hair. "Actually, excellent memory, Skye-With-An-E."

Skye clicks her tongue and puffs her cheeks, "So mean! That nickname was good."

I laugh. I take a peek at the shirt she stole from me. "We're only watching this cause' you're wearing MY Captain America shirt right now," I acknowledge the baggy shirt by puckering my lips and pointing at it with them. (It's a Filipino thing where we point with our mouths.)

She shrugs and cocks her head back into the soft bed, "Or I'm just really into Marvel movies. Wanna nerd out again?"

"That'd be nice. Last time, we got carried away, though," I giggle. "Nerding out was the only reason why we didn't finish our project sooner."

Skye contemplates, sounding deadpan, "Yeah, pretty much."

Half-way through the movie, my phone buzzes next to me. I emerge from my burrito wrap and text my mom back, explaining that Skye was here.

"Awwwe," Skye frowns. "I wanted you to stay like that the whole time. It was way too cute."

"My parents are coming home, flatterer," I tell her, staring down at the screen. "They're okay with you staying."

Skye breathes a collected sigh of relief, "Thank you, so much." She leaned her head on my shoulder.

It's 9:17 PM. Skye yawns beside me then snakes her arm around my stomach. She tightens the embrace, and I bring an arm around her shoulder. She looks so cozy in my arms; I'm glad I'm keeping her warm. 

Her small body leans into mine tightly, her cheek resting on my chest. She tiredly tries to keep her eyes open for the movie.

Skye breathes a sleepy whimper, fluttering her eyes. Her hair tickles my nose. She submits to her drowsiness and drifts off to sleep, occasionally letting out tiny snores. It's adorable.

She fell asleep in my arms. My stomach flutters, as did my heart. Speaking of, my heart feels like it's about to pop out of my chest. There's a whole angel in my arms, and I'm cradling her to sleep. What a privilege, it's a great time to be alive.

All too soon, my eyes become heavy, also. As much as I want to watch such an adorable person sleep in my arms, I need sleep as well. Skye would want me to go to sleep.

I didn't wait for my family to return home. It's early, but I reach for the remote next to me, being as gentle as I can to not accidentally wake Skye.

Thump. The T.V. flashes before shutting off. I toss both our phones carelessly onto the carpet floor.

The feeling of heaviness overwhelms me. I give Skye a long and tender kiss on the top of her head, before shutting my eyes to let the sense of weariness take me. I take one last glance at the sweet thing lying next to me, making sure to admire her dark-red hair before my eyes give up on me and close on their own accord. 

I comfortably fall into a calm and deep slumber. It feels good. I haven't been able to have a good night's rest in a while. It's all thanks to Skye. I take one final puff before my body surrenders itself to a long-awaited deep sleep.


	25. Rainbow (Medicine)

_July. 21, 2019  
_

_3:06 a.m._

Andre's POV

I bolt upright in my bed, panting. Sweat and tears drip from my face. I feel a headrush, my eyes constantly stinging when I blinked. The sheets are drenched. Touching them, it feels as if they finished soaking in the rain.

A wave of relief falls on me when I see her there.

It was a nightmare. Or, so it was for a while anyway.

What sounds like pebbles thrown against the glass, is the pouring rain outside, slamming against the window.

Another storm is brewing, something I'm not entirely fond of. My head tilts back in disbelief, this was the second one of this summer, and God knows I can't handle them, but yet he sends them my way.

I jump at the sound of thunder. My heart rate speeds up, and the familiar sensation of numbness disperses from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

It hurts to touch the bed, to touch anything for that matter. I can barely move a muscle or leg off my bed without the buzzing, prickling needles poking at my sanity.

Everyone has a phobia; thunder is mine. I painfully and quietly get up in an attempt to not wake Skye, who is peacefully asleep next to me, facing the dresser.

The rain was calm all day, and from what I heard earlier, a storm was unlikely. I glance into the gaps between the curtain and the window, watching the darts of water slam on the glass surface. From the looks of it, those harmless droplets would eventually cut through the only defense thick enough other than my house, to defend us from the bullets crashing down from the skies.

The carpet feels like tiny razors on my feet and I try to use the tips of my toes to avoid the annoying yet painful feeling on them. My hands have gone ice-cold. So cold in fact that it's seeping through the numbness I feel everywhere on my body. Not even that could protect me from the frigidness this fear places on me, it's quite sad, really.

The door creaks open eerily. I shut it ever so gently and guide my way into the kitchen in the dark. I would turn on the lights but doing that could result in a waste of sleep for my family and Skye, as the lights in my house could seep through the cracks of the door frames. For some reason, the thunder doesn't wake them, it boggles my mind how someone could muster up mental strength to defend themselves from the suspense of the dreaded noise.

I feel for my surroundings, and a sudden burst of lightning flashes next to me. For once, the outside forces of nature had helped me, showing me for a brief second where my mom left the mugs last time, she cleaned the dishes. As I reach to take a mug, which is situated on a cloth next to the drying rack, my hands shake uncontrollably. I fear that I might end up dropping it, but I doubt the noise of the glass shattering would be enough to deafen the thunder that was yet to come again.

I shift my body in front of the box of teabags next to the wall mounting the stove and reach my shivering hand inside it for one.

I pour myself a cup of hot water, dropping and moving the teabag around in the mug with a spoon.

The house shakes, a flash of lightning leaks through the gaps in the curtains, illuminating the house in an explosion of light.

Breathe, breathe.

The spoon quietly scratches against the metal base of the sink as I slowly set it down. My feet stagger towards the living room, and my eyes adjust to the darkness next to the window. Thank God, for lampposts, or else I'd be standing around in the middle of the kitchen, risking dropping the mug, spilling the tea and having to deal with crappy thunder, all at the same time.

I quiver when taking a glance at the street. The rain looks violent; the animated droplets of water quickly streaking down the glass. The window in the living room is much larger, so the pelting of the rain crashes louder and faster.

My street looks like a wasteland, abandoned. Eerily, there are no cars parked in driveways, or in front of lawns, a usual occurrence in my neighborhood. Everybody must have tucked them inside garages or went out of town.

It saddens me to see this, it feels as if I'm alone, even though I am well-aware of the residents inside my house. It just feels like that right now, because when you have a fear like mine, no one can relate. Thunder? Who the hell fears that? A noise?

I'm the only one I know that's scared of something like that, it's such a pity that I couldn't have been afraid of the dark, or snakes or something along those lines. Something practical. But my mind decided that thunder was a good time to switch on the fight or flight mode inside me.

Thunder smashes the dark skies again, along with the side of my head.

I nearly get shaken off the couch, spilling some tea onto my thigh.

I curse sharply, wincing through the pain.

My breathing comes in long, deep intervals; an attempt to try regulating the panic and insanity brewing inside my gut.

I hesitantly continue to drink the green tea, the remedy to all problems, along with chicken soup.

My heart jumps when I hear a bedroom door creak loudly. The darkness cloaks the person in the shadows approaching me. I suck in my lip, squinting my eyes to try and at least get a view on who it was.

At first, I thought it was my brother, Adrian, but Skye's hair motions slightly in the dark as lightning flares through the windows once again. Half of her tired face shines for a few brief moments.

Her red hair tinges a soft blue in the sudden few seconds of moonlight, the only thing I can see in this dark house.

I gaze at her adoringly when her whole face becomes visible to me.

The numbness leaves, and a warm feeling in my chest rises from the butterflies in my stomach.

"Andre?" She murmurs groggily. "What are you doing up?"

I gulp, I don't want her to find out I'm afraid of thunder.

Fearing thunder feels like such a weakness to me. As I said, it's just a loud, crashing sound, like the continuous roll on a bass drum. If I can listen to deafening, blasting music from speakers and put up with the noisy freshmen at my school, why is thunder any different?

I could compare it to horror movies, even though I can handle horror movies. It's when the jump scares are about to pop-up and scare you, except if you're usually the general audience watching those movies, you'd sense that they were coming. However, you'd never know when they would actually strike.

Thunder is like that, I know it's there, it's present. But, the suspense of when the loud noises will shake the skies, and not knowing when the sound will come terrifies me. I hate expecting the unexpected in moments of high suspense; it gives me this anxiety I can't rub off of me.

"I was craving tea," I stutter nervously, my hand shaking as I hold the mug. "No big deal."

Skye scoots over next to me, "No, seriously. What's wrong? Your side of the bed is soaked," She looks at me with visible alarm in her eyes. "I woke up when I heard fidgeting in the kitchen."

I glance at her glistening blue eyes, taking a long sip of tea before deciding to speak to her.

"I'm sorry," I anxiously rub the bridge of my nose. "I had a nightmare and needed to cool off--"

Thunder knocks the warmness out my chest, replacing it with the frigidness of which I felt before.

I spring out of my seat defensively. My hand jerks, more hot tea pouring over my hand.

"Oops," I wince and pat the damp patch on the shorts I'm wearing. "That's gonna stain. Poor me."

Skye studies me with a soft expression on her face.

Her eyes light up and widen slightly.

"You're afraid of thunder."

I sigh, carefully setting the cup of tea down on the coffee table, "It's that bad, isn't it?" I sit back down on the couch.

She flashes me a tiny smile that doesn't match her eyes, taking my hand and stroking it gently.

"No. Everyone is scared of something," she halts her voice. shaking her head and sucking in her bottom lip. "I'm scared of swimming, well, water, I guess."

"Oh, that's not so bad," I reply nonchalantly while wrapping an arm around her. "A lot of people are scared of being inside water."

Skye doesn't look at me. Instead, she stares at her feet, "Yeah. I'll try to get over it cause' you all are so keen on going swimming during our trip."

I pull her closer to me, a smug grin tugging on my lips, "Don't worry, we'll get you, floaties."

Skye scoffs, not giving a response to my joke. Regardless, she leans her head on my shoulder, some strands of her hair slightly tickling my neck.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Tiger," Skye's lips purse. I plant a sweet kiss on her cheek, which glows in the abnormally dark living room. "...Anyhow, I said I'd try."

During our small conversation, I had finished my cup of tea.

"We can always help you get over it," I finally tell Skye, attempting to encourage her to break out of that confined bubble she is trapped inside. "We have your back. I told you that already."

Skye's eyebrows furrow and she shakes her head. "It's easier said than done, Andre," She counters, rubbing the bridge of her nose then scratching her neck. "I don't even know if I can go near a body of water without panicking."

I tap my finger on the armrest before finding my voice.

"Don't just try to get over it," I narrow my eyes and glance over to her side of the couch. "Just do it. The more we do, the less we have to try."

"Huh? That doesn't even make sense," She rubs her chin. "There has to be some type of medicine for, you know, stupid phobias, like ours."

"Thanks for calling my phobia stupid," I sadly bring the mug to the sink, then feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist from behind me.

"I didn't mean it like that, silly," Skye buries her face into my back. "I want medicine for my fear of water so that I can spend more time with you during our trip."

I raise my eyebrows, turning my head half-way to look at her resting face on my shoulder. Her cheek brushes against mine as she turns her head a little to look at me too.

"...And the others as well, of course," Her voice is soft and tender, it pulls at my heartstrings to hear her speak like this.

A familiar warmness in my chest rises, leaving me breathless. I break away from her arms and shift my body to face her.

"You wanna spend more time with me, admit it."

"Fuck off, Macatangay," She stares at me with a sudden coldness, but a warm smile spreads across her face not long after. "Okay, maybe a little."

I chuckle, lifting her chin. Her dark-blue eyes sparkle within the midnight hue of the house, twinkling fondly at me.

"You've spent like, hours in this house more than anyone else's other than your own," I plant a kiss on her forehead.

"Wrong," She argues, her face lighting up. "Marjorie's house- Nevermind, I've spent too much time here."

"That's not a bad thing. I'd rather have you here," I giggle and grabbing her hand, returning to the room. "When you weren't at home last week, you were just here, or at Marjorie's if we walked there."

Skye shuts the door quietly, flicking on the lights then walks over to the bed and begins to replace the sheets. She throws the pillows and blankets off the bed, onto the floor and I hand her a cleaner sheet from inside my closet.

"So, about this medicine," I sit in my chair and stretch tiredly. I gander at the clock, my eyes adjusting to the time. It's very late. "What would it be?"

Skye swings back around at me for a brief moment, "Your voice sounds weird when it's raspy and tired."

"That's not related to the question, Skye" I stand up and help her apply the bedsheet. "And excuse you! My tired voice is sexy; you have to admit that."

"Nope, weird," Skye tucks her head to her chest to hide the deep red flush on her face. "Really weird."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Goth Queen," I sigh dreamily.

Skye's face falls, and she begins pleading with me, "Please stop calling me that, too."

"Oh, stop. You love my nicknames," I reply, smiling. "Julianna gave you that nickname, though."

"Yup, and I'm afraid it's kind of growing on me," She winks and lies back down onto the bed. She pats the open spot next to her. "C'mere."

I yawn before setting myself down beside her and fluffing the blankets over us.

"Now answer my question," I turn to face her, she is only a breath away from me.

Skye sighs, a slightly pink colour spreading across her face.

"It would be an injection," She explains. "Like it would go into your vein, and your blood would naturally flow through your body like always."

"Uh-huh, like heroin?"

Skye rolls her eyes and shakes her head, "...And it would eventually flow through your brain. So, the medicine would travel to all parts of the body, most importantly, to the brain, which would cause you to get over the fear entirely."

With a crooked grin, I encircle my arm around her waist. I hesitate to speak but find exactly what it is I needed to say. I adjust my attention at Skye with an appraising look, only focusing on her and only her. She beckons at me to say something.

"Well, spit it out, then," Skye says, the tone in her voice ringing my ear urgently.

I clear my throat, firmly gripping her hand.

"Sometimes, the best medicine is no medicine at all."

Skye giggles and drops her head into my chest, "Wow, that didn't make sense either."

"Well, it was on the spot thinking."

"Regardless," she chuckles. "How do you think I should apply that to my life, Andre?"

I wonder for a little while, trying to search for an answer to her question.

"Hm, since your fear is water, just dive right into the lake, or swimming pool. Your choice," I gape tiredly, then catch her dazedly gazing at me. "I know it sounds terrible, but fear is something we don't understand. Sometimes we literally have to dive into it and swim around in it to understand what it is we're dealing with."

Skye appears to stiffen at the thought of what I said and snuggles closer, "Just thinking about it makes me wanna puke."

"Backing away now," I jokingly roll away from her. "You can happily throw up now. I'm far enough from the splash zone."

Skye laughs and moves her silky hair away from her face to make exaggerated gagging sounds.

"Look, if you want to get over a fear, you need to understand what it is you're scared of and why," I poke her forehead gently. "It's all about empathy. People fear what they do not understand."

She nods solemnly, the glint in her eyes is full of wonder and confusion, but at the same time, an optimism I've never seen in Skye before.

"Let's get some sleep, silly goose," I rub her chin. "It's been a rough night, er... morning."

I yawn before letting her lay onto my chest again. She wraps her small arms around me, and my arms dangle off her shoulder as I envelop her tiny body close to mine.

Another crash of thunder shakes the room, but I surprisingly didn't jump. I'm deep in thought; eyes shut tight, too many words circling my head. I consider my words and plan to sleep through the constant fear of knowing the storm was still there.

That isolation of my own fear seemed to disappear entirely. For years, I've been alone with small things like that, fearing thunder. But talking to Skye made me realize that it wasn't a specific fear that made me feel alone, but just being scared of something made me feel alone. It was reassuring to hear her tell me she felt alone too with her fear of water. Now I don't feel so alone, now that I had someone who more or less felt the same.

The fear may be different, but our situations are similar. Similar enough for me not to worry about things like this again, though it would take time. 

Indeed, the nightmare is still fresh in my mind, but as if she knew, Skye hugs me tighter every time the thoughts come back into my head as if she knew whenever they came.

"Goodnight," I kiss the top of her head.

My eyes flutter, and shortly after, I feel myself drifting off into the long-awaited peaceful sleep I always hoped for. 

_5:30 a.m._

_"Andre,"_ Skye's face dangles over mine. "Good, you're awake."

I stagger back, startled seeing her so close to me, "Woah, there."

"Sorry," She almost sounds remorseful. "I couldn't fall asleep since we got into bed again."

I glimpse at the time, "It's 5:30? Damn, you should've woke me sooner."

Skye shrugs and fidgets around with my hands, "Yeah, but you looked peaceful, I didn't want too."

"Do you want warm milk?" I ask, sitting up and leaning against the wall.

"No," Skye tilts her head at my random question, "This sounds weird, but... Nevermind, it's stupid."

Her face lights up the room in this crimson red that Skye only had for me. It's as if her face only lights up like that for me, and me alone. She seems to be the only thing lighting the room, other than the sunrise that gushes through the window.

"Hey, tell me," I lie my head down on her thigh.

Skye's POV

His hair tickles my bare leg as he moves his head around trying to get comfortable, "Before I do, your mom checked on us before she left for work, does she always do that?"

"No," Andre says, his voice still sounding deep and raspy. "She would usually wake me up for school, but I guess she checks on me. Did she find you awake?"

"Nope," I reply, stroking his cheek and massaging his forehead. "I was laying on your chest."

Andre's face lights up the room. I could feel it radiating off of him that I made him feel special. I don't know what it is that makes me sense that, it's impossible, but I have this hunch.

I hope that I'd ease some of Andre's pain as he did with mine. Maybe that's why this feeling is here because we help each other. I try doing as much as he does for me. I hope it's enough for both of us.

"Oh, that's nice. Now tell me!"

"Ugh," I run my hand through my hair and feel my face heating. "Don't laugh. You're gonna have to tell me why you sweat so much earlier, though!"

His face drops, and a noticeable frown pulls down on his lips. I begin to feel a bit guilty as he opens his mouth to reply.

"Fine," Andre sighs bitterly. "Now, tell me, Skye-with-an-e."

"I'm sorry," I lean down to kiss his forehead. "Don't make fun of me."

"I won't, don't worry."

I take a single breath, "I want you to sing to me."

Andre stares at me blankly. He looks confused; it almost makes me regret telling him until this discernable smile formed on his lips.

"Uh. I can't sing. I can play music," He says.

"No," I push him off and curl up into the blanket. "I want you to sing for me. Now."

Andre begins to laugh loudly.

"You're making fun of me; I should've never told you," I bury my face into the pillow. "Just go back to sleep, I'll find my earphones."

 _"Love of my life._ "

I turn my head to face him. He's back down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling with a face I couldn't read.

"Questionable song, but okay," I mock.

Andre shakes his head at my comment; the same face still latched onto him.

_"You've hurt me."_

What was he talking about?

He has the voice of an angel. It's as if God sent an angel to sing for me. My insides are melting; my heart is melting, fuck everything is. How can I contain this urge to scream for him? If I did that, I'd interrupt this beautiful human being.

I try as hard as I can to contain myself from screaming in happiness. This happiness is different; it feels like a relief, like flying among the clouds. Andre's voice found a way to fill my ears, my mind, and my body.

_"You've broken my heart."_

Oh, God, please kill me right now. I want to die, knowing the last thing I hear is Andre's voice. The raspiness of his morning voice too just made it even better. This is painful. I swear I could kiss him. Thinking that made me feel so wrong, but I know if I did, it would feel all right.

If I were to kiss him right now, I feel like both of us would be too overwhelmed. He confessed last night, which admittedly caused panic within me. I didn't know how to act. I stopped myself from telling him I had the same feelings too.

I live in constant fear of these people leaving me, and after what Brian told me about them pitying me and being my friend just for that reason, I couldn't risk it. Out of all of them, I know in my heart that Andre isn't like that.

His confession seemed so genuine and sincere. He is the sweetest, most charming guy I've ever met, and I know deep down inside, he wouldn't lie about that. It just appeared too real. I'm so lucky to have met a guy like him.

Andre Macatangay understands me like no other person has. That's why I trust him more than anyone, his actions, his words, they aren't pitied. He does feel sympathy for me, he does pity me, but he also empathizes with what I'm dealing with.

Lance is in question, because the thing he taught me about love, and family, the way his words etched in my mind and heart was exactly how Andre does it. Lance must have been through a lot to get to that point, to teach me, to even teach Andre.

But that's the difference. The difference is the way Andre understands me. It's distinct from what the others make me feel. They all seem to have great lives, that all the pain they've ever felt is all gone. Because they never experience a pain deeper than what Andre and I felt.

Maybe I'm just ignorant. It's stupid to think that no one's ever felt pain like we have. Perhaps I'll be wrong about them.

_"And now you leave me. Love of my life, can't you see?"_

I sigh dreamily letting myself melt away with his beautiful voice. He chuckles while singing, probably noticing my moment of weakness. I don't care, though. I close my eyes and pretend to sleep.

I can't fall asleep right now, not when he's still singing.

_"Bring it back. Bring it back. Don't take it away from me."_

Andre rustles around in his seat before continuing and coughed. He chuckles shyly.

"Sorry."

"Way to ruin it," I blurt teasingly.

I open one eye, and the same guilt worsens when I see him with saddened eyes and pursed lips.

"No, no, no, no," I wave my eyes frantically in front of him while facing him. "I was joking, continue. I really like your voice. Like, I love it. Keep going."

Andre's eyebrows rise, and he lets out a smirk, "Wow, getting pushy. I've never seen you so desperate."

I groan in annoyance, "Yeah, maybe because it's quarter to six in the morning."

I try strenuously to contain my inner feelings of wanting to tell him how fantastic he was, how _perfect_ he was. But, I had self-control, and the only time I'd burst out from those is if he did kiss me. If he were to do that, I wouldn't be able to contain myself, not anymore.

Andre clears his throat, then suddenly plants a long kiss onto my cheek again. My heart soars, and I close my eyes.

"I've lost count of how many times you've kissed me," I say dryly. "Keep singing; I'm nearly asleep."

_"...Because you don't know what it means to me."_

The sense of calmness takes my body over. I take one last breath before succumbing to the drowsiness. I try my hardest to stay awake, to hear him sing, but to no avail. His voice has this incomprehensible effect on me. It makes me so exhausted. I'm an insomniac, so this was a new feeling for me. When I fall asleep, it usually takes a long time.

I lie here, absolutely breathless as he continues singing, 'Love of my Life' by Queen. Not my favourite song, I'm not fond of slow ballads or love songs, but this just feels right. I curl into a ball, the cushions shifting around me as Andre lies down beside me again.

My body moves around, and I fall into his arms again, head lying on his chest. He holds me close and softly nuzzled his nose in my hair. I love this feeling. The way he's hugging me right now, it's as if this hug was reserved for me and only me. He makes me feel so damn special, and I can't even comprehend how much. This embrace, I didn't want to leave, I'd rather live my days out here in his arms.

I breathe softly, the drum of his heart constantly pounds against my head. Relaxation washes over me.

_"Love of my life, don't leave me._

_You've stolen my love; you now desert me._

_Love of my life, can't you see?_

_Bring it back, bring it back._

_Don't take it away from me,_

_Because you don't know what it means to me._

_You will remember when this is blown over._

_And everything's all by the way._

_When I grow older, I will be there at your side._

_To remind you,_

_How I still love you._

_I still love..."_

He kisses me tenderly on the top of my head, holding me closer than ever before. My senses falter, the feeling of complete tranquillity overcoming me.

_"....you."_

_..._

I wake up the next morning.


	26. Canon in D

_July. 21, 2019_  
_10:34 a.m._

Andre's POV

My eyes flutter open. I rub the sleepiness out of my eyes, trying to adjust them to the light in the room. My nose picks up the scent of pancakes.

I notice Skye had already gotten up from bed. The rest of the blanket was tucked around me; it must've been her. I stretch before sitting up, cracking my neck and my back.

The last thing I remember last night was singing Skye to sleep. I don't know if I fell asleep before or after her, though. I can only visualize the moments where she wrapped herself in my arms. Her body had been a perfect fit against mine; it just felt right.

It's as if my whole life, inadequate people, had been filling that spot in my arms. Thinking back, it always felt empty after a while, but my mind convinced me otherwise. And when those certain people left, there was just hollow space there.

Skye fit in my arms perfectly, like she was meant to be there. I could honestly still feel her here, even when she had gone.

I tidy the bed then take a step outside. The morning sun shines on me, seeping through some gaps between the windows and curtains. I faintly hear the sound of someone singing from the couch. I almost recognize it instantly, even if I haven't heard Skye sing yet.

The warmness rises up and down in my chest, my heart wanting to burst out of my chest at any moment.

Skye sings along with the most effort I've ever seen from her, along with my brother playing the ukulele.

Her angelic, soft voice harmonizes well with the strumming of the ukelele, reminding me of the perfect mold she has in my arms. I close my eyes and let her singing ring inside my ear.

Upon opening my eyes, I catch hers; she blushes furiously, continuing to sing anyway, but briefly smiling at me.

_"...But I can't help, falling in love with you."_

I begin to clap obnoxiously.

My heart flutters when I inch closer to the couches where she sits.

"I can't help falling in love with you, either," I jerk my hands up and flash her a pair of finger guns. "That was an obvious joke. Not that I don't love you, well, not like that--"

"You can stop now."

Skye rolls her eyes then locks them with mine. She tucks her hair, shyly behind her ear, and casually tries to hide her red face. I tilt my head. She looks like she's about to head out, wearing an outfit I've never seen her in.

She's wearing a black beanie on her head. She has a checkered black and red flannel on top of a dark grey t-shirt. The sleeves were rolled up slightly, but I can't see her scars.

I know she just put concealer to cover it up, making me at least half relieved. I bite my lip, taking a seat next to Adrian and Skye.

"Slay Goth Queen," I nudge her teasingly, then lean my head on her shoulder.

Skye chuckles, bringing her arm up to show me her black bracelet.

"Your necklace and bracelet go with everything I wear," Skye announces, beaming as she raises her arm against my face. "Like, look, they're so nice. They go with my aesthetic, too."

I lift my head just enough to kiss the underside of her jaw, "Glad to be of service, again."

"Thank you, so much," Skye giggles, lowering her hands. "I owe you so much now, especially after last night, and everything else you've done for me."

"You don't owe me anything. I'm just glad I could help you; you know?" I shrug, dropping down to lay on her thighs, gazing up at her face. "You look stunning."

Skye sighs and ruffles my hair, "You've told me that so many times in the past week." She glances down at her legs to see me.

I stare up at her happily, her lingering gaze making my heart race even faster.

"It's true, that's why," I reach up and stroke her face, guiding my hands up to her soft, red hair. "I've never seen anyone as stunning as you in my life."

Skye doesn't answer. Instead, she smiles at me warmly, raising her head towards the kitchen.

We sit there for a few seconds, letting my dad's cooking tease our noses and make our stomachs grumble. I hold out my hand and poke at her necklace for a few moments before letting my hand drop to my chest.

"I'm glad you like this," I close my eyes, covering them up with my forearm. "It does go with everything you wear."

Adrian strums his Uke a few times, "All she has is red and black. It's almost my style, too!"

I nod in agreement and lift my head from her legs. I sit up straight and smile sincerely at her, admiring how beautiful she is.

"Well, Adrian," She grins, breaking my gaze to turn to him. "Dark clothes suit me well. Even if it means risking my health in the summer 'cause of the heat, I'd keep wearing what I like."

"Have fun tomorrow then," I smirk and bump her shoulder to get her attention. "It's gonna be sweltering hot tomorrow. Bring shorts or something, and a t-shirt, maybe?"

"I don't want my whole arm to show," Skye turns her head back around to look at me, sounding blank.

"Mhm, I know you don't. But, it's a safety hazard," I poke her forehead. "If it makes you feel better, we'll find you a dark coloured t-shirt."

"Got that covered already," She replies, pointing to her packed bag for tomorrow's trip. "Where's your bag?"

I point to my room, "Ah, I see." She looks back into the kitchen.

"Is breakfast ready, Mr. Maca-- I mean, _Tito?_ " Skye nervously wraps an arm around me.

My dad snickers while marching to the dinner table, holding two plates in his hand and one in his arm. The plates are piled high with bacon, eggs, and pancake stacks. I salivate at the sight of the delicious looking breakfast.

Skye pulls at my arm. I spin to look at her, only to see uncertainty on her face.

"Did I say _'Tito,'_ right?" She asks, biting her lip worriedly.

I beam proudly at her.

"Yeah, you said it right." I painstakingly stifle a laugh. "Your white person accent makes it sound funny, though."

Skye puffs her cheeks and purses her lips, "Sorry. And don't laugh at me, you have a ' _white person accent'_ when you speak Tagalog too."

I pat her shoulder teasingly, "Oh, Skye, it's still funnier when you say it. It's _tah-gah-log_ , not _teh-galog_."

Adrian snickers under his breath. I gesture with my eyebrows for him to stop, biting my lip to hold in a smile.

"Leave me alone," Skye crosses her arms, her eyes flaring at me before sharply turning her head away. "Both of you."

I start reaching out for her, grazing my hand against the sleeve of her shirt, only to have it smacked away.

"I was only joking. C'mere," I flash her an awkward simper.

My hand is knocked away again as I attempt to get her attention. I smirk and lean over, balancing on one foot, then planting a long kiss onto her cheek. It's warm, the edges of her pale cheek gradually becoming light pink.

Skye breathes out an annoyed sigh then finally looks at me. Her face was flushed entirely in red at this point.

"I forgive you," She tells me wryly, rolling her arm sleeves back down. "And be thankful, I don't just _forgive_ people."

"Uh-huh."

Smiling widely, I stand up and offer her my hand. She hesitates for a moment.

"Ah, what the hell," Skye takes a deep breath and places her palm on top of mine. She grapples it tightly, a little too tight; in fact, but I don't care. She squints, studying my face trying to read me.

I lightly tug on her hand, feeling some resistance. "C'mon, don't be so stiff, it's breakfast time."

As we head towards the kitchen, her hair gleams as the sunlight struck it, it seems to light up the entire house. It's so pleasantly blinding.

I smile at her sweetly, then stroke the necklace she had around her neck once again. Her black, painted lips are shining as well.

"What's that look you got there, Tiger?" Skye drops my hand abruptly, then walks towards the kitchen.

Taking a step beside her, I nervously run my hand through my hair and pull a chair out for her.

"It's called the 'admiring Skye' face?" I hand her a glass of milk before sitting across from her. "It also means that I'm marveling at how adorable you look with that lipstick on."

Skye groans, "You're obsessed with my lipstick, aren't you?"

I shrug, letting my teeth show as I beam looking fixedly at her, "I'm also obsessed with everything about you, so there."

Skye briskly pulls her hair back behind her, slyly looking at me right after. She removes the beanie from her head.

"You need to stop with all the cheese," Skye mumbles apprehensively. "I must admit, though; your flirtiness has kept me on my feet."

I smirk and flatten my shirt. With a cocky grin, I lean forward into my seat, "I'm known to be unpredictable. That's why girls fall for Mr. Andre here."

Skye raises an eyebrow at me, crossing her arms in disbelief, "How many girlfriends have you had again?"

"Seven, if today goes well," I slyly wink at her and jokingly blow her a kiss.

Skye giggles as the warmth invade her cheeks, "Idiot."

My dad smiles at both of us as we bicker and says, "My son is a real charmer, huh?"

I tensed up and felt the heat rise to my cheeks, "Dad!"

"He won't beat my record of ten girlfriends," He said, walking out of the kitchen. "All at the same time too."

My face falls into my palm, embarrassed of the situation. I'm reluctant to look up at Skye; then suddenly, I hear her start to laugh again.

Despite herself, Skye laughs the loudest I've ever heard at my dad's comments. I couldn't tell if she was trying to be kind, or if it was genuine. I take a peek at her through the crack of my fingers.

"What're you looking at, Goth Queen?" I lower my hands, uncovering my crimson face. "I bet I look _charming."_

"Pass the syrup, wise-guy," She gestures her head towards the syrup beside my plate.

I toss it across the table.

I clear my throat. Her eyes find me just before she opens the lid of the syrup.

I puff my chest up confidently. She tilts her head, "Uh, you good?"

_"I can be your prince charming, m'lady,"_ I announce with a poorly done British accent, tipping an invisible hat on my head. _"At your service, my darling."_

The redhead snorts, bursting into another fit of laughter that nearly brings her into tears.

As she calms down, her eyes stare dazedly at me, "As bad as that accent was, you certainly charmed the hell outta me."

I pump my fist in the air cheerfully, and take a vicious bite out of my pancakes, "Hell, yeah!"

Adrian shakes his head in disappointment "...And that's my wonderful brother. I'm lucky I'm adopted."

"Hey, shut up," I point my fork at him and snarl. "Anyway, we should eat. Foods getting cold."

Skye pours a generous amount of syrup on her pancakes. She watches in awe as the syrup hits the perfect cakes, her eyes gleam in happiness after taking the first bite.

"Oh, God, this is amazing," Skye moans as she chews, then quickly fixes herself. "You both heard nothing."

Adrian giggles as he takes a bite of his bacon strip, "We heard enough."

Taking a massive bite of eggs, I grab the syrup away from Skye then pour it onto my own pancakes.

"It's okay to be that sexually attracted to food," I say, trying to contain my laughter. "In all seriousness, Skye. It's okay to let go of yourself once in a while to cheer and moan and cry."

Skye's lip curls.

"Fine," She puts a giant piece of pancake into her mouth, moaning in satisfaction. "Happy?"

I cock my head to the side and flash her an inviting wink. "More than happy now that I heard that."

She rolls her eyes.

"Now eat up, we gotta get the car ready."

The morning drags on for long. The dinner table meanders with laughter and conversation as the three of us eat breakfast together.

"I wonder why dad hasn't asked why you stayed the night," I thought, making eye contact with Skye.

She wipes her mouth with a napkin, carefully avoiding smearing her lipstick, "You were asleep when he asked. Don't worry about it too much."

Skye explains to me that she had to openly talk to my dad about why she needed to stay the night again. My dad listened to her cautiously and even threatened to call the services. Skye was persistent, though, convincing him not to do so. She also had a long talk on the phone with, not my mom, but Marjorie's mom about the whole situation.

As much as Skye didn't want to admit, she was more comfortable with Marjorie's family than mine. Marjorie's family took her in open arms without question. She didn't even have to explain; they just let her stay. Skye actually requested her to call Marjorie's mom, and my dad obliged.

God bless their souls.

"...And then Marjorie's mom said that both your family and theirs would take care of me till then."

I gather our plates, placing them in the sink and rinsing them.

"That's good, Skye," I tell her, focusing on washing the dirty dishes. "You're not afraid of talking about it now."

"Well, I figured that when our friends decided to support me when I told them," Skye sinks into the couch. I can feel her eyes at the back of my head. "I figured that your families would do the same. They raised you to be the way you are, right?"

I nod appreciatively, "I'm happy you trust them, Skye. That's huge for you."

Skye stares out the window and adjusts her beanie.

"I'm glad I learned how to trust."

I chuckle at the thought of someone. "You'll love my neighbor."

"Huh? The people next door?" Skye asks.

"The house to the left of mine," I explain, drying some recently washed plates. "The Silvas."

Skye peers through the window, "Oh? You know them?"

"Yes, I do," I pat my hands down with a cloth. "But I go to school with their daughter."

"Daughter?" Skye's voice slightly lights up. "What's her name?"

I bob my head, "Rory. She's quite lovely to be around. I think you'll like her."

"Oh? How are you so sure?" Skye asks, dipping her head.

I suck in my lips and crack my knuckles. "You'll just have to find out, I guess."

Skye shrugs, turning her head towards the piano, "Don't tell me we're going over there right now."

"What? No!" I laugh. "They're on vacation. I think they'll be home when we get home from Camping."

Skye doesn't reply, only walking over to the piano and playing a beautiful melody.

I sit down on top of the coffee table, "Canon in D?"

"Yup."

I lean forward with my chin on my palm, admiring the music piece.

"Wanna eat out later?"

"Where too?"

"Anywhere you want."

Skye thinks for a moment and smiles, "Subway?"

"Subway, it is."

7:30 _p.m._

Lance's POV

"Why is it the first time I'm hearing this?" I peer up at Julianna, who's holding up her phone to show me Andre and Skye's recreation of Bohemian Rhapsody.

Julianna shrugs, pocketing her phone.

"Well, the others went to Andre's after they went shopping for extra supplies," She answers, kissing my lips tenderly. "They just happened to catch them while working."

I get up from her bed and reach over to grab my coat.

A thought pops in my head.

"Remember that thingy Marjorie talked about between the two of them?" I ask, slipping on my grey coat.

"I don't know," Julianna snickers. "But Andre and Skye ARE taking things too fast."

I stand there, recalling the video-chat we had only an hour ago. Marjorie and John were telling us about how Andre and Skye became even more touchy with each other, kissing cheeks, arms, hugging, you name it. Anywhere but the lips, though. God, I hope Andre is being smart about this.

Julianna tucks her shoes snuggly on her feet and waits for me to open the front door.

"Marjorie told me, Skye texted her that they cuddled," Julianna adds as I open the door for her.

My eyebrows elevate, genuinely surprised about how fast things are going between them.

Andre and Skye have undeniable feelings for each other but considering the circumstances: Andre getting over a FOUR-YEAR relationship, and seemingly getting over it quicker than he should have.

And Skye, who just started to understand how it feels to even have feelings for someone, despite living with two married people boggles my mind.

I'm assuming that they hurt her so much that she couldn't grasp the idea that her parents did know how to love. It probably affected the way she thought about it and how it was supposed to feel.

"I mean," Julianna puffs. "I wanted him to get over that breakup fast, but Goddamn, he can't be over Indigo that quickly."

"You know Andre as much as I do," I tell her. "He catches feelings fast, fast."

We check the time as we both enter the car.

"I think we're just overthinking," I say. "Cuddling is comforting for anyone."

Julianna sighs, "Still. They could have, you know."

I burst into laughter, holding my stomach, "Look, Andre isn't like that. And it's obvious Skye isn't like that either. Both of them are innocent."

"Andre isn't that innocent," Julianna giggles, leaning against her palm. "His innuendoes and jokes aren't innocent."

"Exactly," I raise an eyebrow. "He has his limits. He knows how to diffuse a situation if it gets too carried away."

Julianna shakes her head. "Let's go to Andre's," She suggests, rolling down the windows. "He won't mind taking a Costco trip."

I begin to reverse the car away from the driveway, "Considering that Thu Thu told us that Andre is keeping all the food, I think we have to pay him a visit."

Julianna agrees, laughing loudly, "Step on it then!"

_7:45 p.m._

Julianna's POV

We pull up to Andre's house, the lights in his living room shines through the red curtain they had against their window.

"That means they're home, right?" Lance wonders aloud, putting the car into park.

"Well, call Andre and make sure," I suggest, turning the knob to shut off the radio.

Lance rummages into his phone, eventually bringing it to his ear. After a few seconds, he pockets his phone.

"No one answered," He leans forward to kiss my cheek. "Let's just go. I'm sure they'll hear a knock."

Lance pulls the keys out of the ignition and swings his door open, stepping outside, letting the evening's warm breeze enter the car. I step out shortly after. I feel his hand slip into mine, along with a pair of lips hitting my temple.

"You know, my lips are awfully lonely."

"I know," Lance swiftly and cleverly spins me around, settling my body in front of him.

Lance dips his head, our noses brushing against each other as he deepens the kiss. My heart flutters as his hands grip onto my waist tightly, going lower and lower. A whimper escapes my lips, and I feel him smirk.

Lance painfully breaks the kiss and shakes his head with a grin, "Kissing, you will never get old."

"It better not," I giggle, dragging him to the front door of Andre's house.

I knock loudly. The silhouette of someone through the white cloth of the glass door rushes down the stairs. It must be Adrian.

The doorknob jerks, and the door sways open.

"Kuya Lance?" Adrian smiles softly. "...And Ate-"

"Yeah, bud, you don't need to call me that," I ruffle his hair. "Where's Andre?"

Adrian points a thumb behind him, "It's really messy in there. He and Skye went through like, three bags of chips."

I step into the house, furrowing my eyebrows at Adrian, "Skye is here?"

Lance runs up the stairs, shoes still on his feet, "HE ATE THREE BAGS OF CHIPS?"

Adrian pats my shoulder, reassuringly, "At least, Kuya Lance is getting his priorities straight."

When Lance reaches the entrance to Andre's room, he flattens his shirt, taking off his shoes. He slides them next to the door, near an air vent.

I shove him out of the way, opening the door loudly. The lights are closed, only the glow of a T.V screen shining the room dimly. Two bags of chips were scattered on the floor, empty, but not without tiny pieces of uneaten chips messily clustered around the room.

Lance moves in, crossing his arms and holding in a laugh. He beckons me into the room. My eyes widen when I notice the final bag nearly falling off the bed. There are chips clustered around where they're lying down, Andre had crushed one with his calf.

They're both asleep, Skye peacefully snoring.

It's funny the way Skye sounds; her tiny snores nearly overpowered Andre's breathing,

I jump at the sudden jumpscare of the horror movie they were watching.

"Jesus!" I scream, instinctively fall into Lance's arms.

"Shh! Don't wake them," Lance shushes me, covering my mouth. "I got you, don't worry."

I grip tightly onto his chest, "We're gonna have to clean up this mess before we leave."

Lance agrees, looking over at Andre and Skye.

Andre's head is on Skye's shoulder, his arm wrapped tightly around her. From a closer examination, he has a chip under his chin, half of it still intact.

Lance suddenly opens the lights, causing Skye to shiver awake at the sound. "Huh? What? Who's there?"

She lazily adjusts her eyes, squinting at the light. Her eyes finally land on us, "Oh. What are you two doing here?"

We wave at her.

"We came by to ask Andre if he wanted to come to Costco with us," I point to the sleeping Andre still nuzzled against Skye's shoulder. "You can come, too. You're certainly dressed for it, despite the powder from the chips on your shirt."

Skye choruses a raspy giggle, carefully pushing Andre off of her, "I'll come."

Lance clears his throat to get our attention, "Can you explain why you two decided to eat three of our fifteen bags of chips?"

"You said it yourself, pal," Skye yawns. "There were fifteen bags; we figured we could eat three."

"Still! Those were for the group," Lance groans, picking up the garbage on the ground. "I guess we can buy three more at Costco."

Skye turns and flicks Andre's forehead. He jiggles awake with a start.

"Hey, Lance and Julianna are here," Skye points at us.

His eyes flutter open. Andre sits upright and stretches, yawning loudly. He waves at us but lowers his hands when he catches Lance's glare.

"What'd I do this time?" Andre wears a smug look on his face. "If you're mad about the chips-"

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M MAD ABOUT," Lance throws a chip at Andre's forehead.

Andre dodges it, picking it up from his lap and eats it mockingly, "Besides that, hey Julianna! What do you need from us today?"

"Late night, Costco Trip?" I request, helping Skye and Lance clean up the room. "And help us! This was your mess."

Andre balances his glasses on his nose. He collects the garbage on the bed and marches off to the kitchen to put them in a can.

Skye slumps against a chair in the room, "This is a good horror movie."

"Can I ask you something?"

"No," Skye continues to watch, unphased about another jumpscare that flashes on the screen. She cackles and turns her attention to me. "I'm kidding, ask away."

"How do you fall asleep to a horror movie?" I scream at another sudden jumpscare. "Could you shut it off?"

Skye groans, grabbing the remote and pressing the button to shut off the T.V, "It's not even that scary. The Conjuring 2 isn't that scary."

"It is!" I shout, grinning widely. "Goddamn, you have some balls, Skye."

The redhead just shrugs, "I think Andre was terrified. He said he watched this before, but still had to hide behind my shoulder."

I eye her up and down, "Why are you dressed up this late?"

"Hm?" Skye glances down at her ruffled-up clothes. "Oh! We went out for lunch. Once we got home, we just got too lazy to change and just binged a bunch of shows and landed on The Conjuring somehow."

As Skye and I continue talking, Andre and Lance's bickering rings closer to the door. It swings open, the two of them debating whether or not thirteen chips were enough for five days.

Skye tugs on Andre's sweater sleeve to get his attention. He darts his head around, "What is it?"

"Julianna's asking how I fell asleep to a horror movie," Skye smiles modestly. "It isn't that scary, right?"

"I was terrified," Andre shudders, exaggeratedly shaking his head. "You fell asleep before I did, so I just drowned the sounds out by listening to your breathing."

"My breath- ugh, you know what. Nevermind," Skye smacks a palm on her face. A sly grin slowly spreads across her face. "Wuss."

"Hey, bub, shut up," Andre rolls his eyes playfully, taking a new sweater out of his closet. "Let's head out. It's nearing closing time."

Lance had already left the room. We follow him suite, making our way to the front.

"Skye, that outfit is pretty," I imply, tucking my shoes on tightly. "I hope we didn't interrupt your cuddle session."

Andre's face is noticeably red but didn't make an attempt to hide it, only distracting himself by finding shoes to wear.

Skye tries to hide the red flush on her face with her small hand, "It's good you woke us up. If we rolled around in those chips, my outfit would've been toast."

"See you two in the car," Andre steps outside, closing the door behind him.

Skye and I share a look. She sighs, "You're staring at me, funny."

"Sorry," I lean against the wall. "Don't you think you and Andre are going a bit fast?"

Skye scratches the back of her head, "Marjorie talked to you?"

I nod, "Yeah. I'm not mad, it's just, he's just getting over a breakup, and you're still trynna understand all of that stuff."

"I understand," She says, getting up. "We both feel protected by the attention, y'know? I know that's a bad reason, but it feels perfect to have what we're giving each other right now."

The sound of a car horn honks loudly. I turn towards the door, "I know how you feel. Just don't hurt each other."

Skye opens the door for me, "We won't. He's smarter than he looks."

As I step out, Skye hollers at Adrian to lock the door and follows closely behind me, both of us walking into the spotlight of the evening sun.


	27. You Make My Dreams

_8:00 PM_

Julianna's POV

Lance drives down the highway.

We'd been bickering the entire trip since we left earlier, about the chips.

"So, let me get this straight," Lance snickers, looking into the rearview mirror. "You were hiding on Skye's shoulder; from a horror movie you've watched countless times."

"Yes!" Andre shouts, sounding slightly annoyed. "I was just... You know. Skye is braver than me."

He slumps sadly in the seat. Skye pats him comfortingly on the shoulder, "If it makes you feel better, I pretended to be scared at one point?"

He glares at her then turns his attention to the window. Shortly after, he still reaches over to hold Skye's hand.

The car rings into an awkward silence.

"You two are cute," I blurt teasingly, breaking the sudden silence. The two didn't answer, remaining still, hand in hand. "You guys can come clean now, Lance and I are waiting."

"Huh?" Skye twirls her head towards me. "Come clean to what?"

I smirk, "Kissing, cuddling, and look; you two are holding hands."

Skye coughs nervously, a noticeable stutter heard in her voice, "...I explained this to you earlier, Julianna."

"Are you two finally, dating?" Lance snorts, slamming on the break at a stoplight. "Answer! We're dying to know!"

Skye ignores him, still looking out the window and stretching the beanie on her head to cover her eyes, popping in her earphones.

"Are you two dating?" I glance over my shoulder at Andre, who is ignoring me, looking out the window as well. "Ugh, Skye?"

"Hm?" She casually pulls earphones out of her ear. "Say that again?"

"Are you two dating?" I jokingly point at her. "Skye and Andre sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-"

"Real mature, Julianna," Andre puffs, turning his attention to Skye, who is red in the face. "Woah, you need water, Rockingham?"

"Spit it out!" I shout. "Are you two dating?"

"No!" Skye scoffs and crosses her arms, sharply turning her head. "Can't two friends hug, give each other tiny kisses, and cuddle? Give me a break!"

Lance and I give her a look. She'd started to look at us with the corner of her eye.

"Chillax, Skye."

Andre laughs restlessly, "Yeah, great word choice, Skye. I've heard something VERY similar to that before."

"What do you mean?" Skye asks, still with an aggravated tone. "Macatangay!"

Andre covers his face with a hand and maintains an awkward laugh. He's laughing at himself, oddly enough, and his face seems to be falling each second.

Oh, no.

"Well, I've heard those words come out of someone, and that conversation did not end well," The look on his face is one of sadness and regret. He buries it into his hands, his giggling transforming into quiet, trembling sobs.

I bite my lip, attempting to reach for his knee, only to have him shrink into the corner of the car and withdraw his leg away from me.

"Andre, man," Lance sounds heavy. "You'll be fine, okay? We all promised we'd help you, and we have."

He looks up; eyes are noticeably red. He nods dejectedly towards the rearview mirror.

"Okay," Andre stutters, looking out the window, tears still pouring from his eyes.

I glare at Skye, "You- Do you realize his ex said those exact words to him?" I whisper loudly.

"I can still hear you, dickhead," Andre sniffles, somehow sounding quite calm, but through his voice, I could hear all that pain coming back to him.

Skye looks guilt-ridden, her arms dropping beside her and body stiffly facing him, "Andre, look, I'm sorry. It's just; I don't like it when people tease me."

As Skye gently touches Andre's shoulder, he reacted defensively, jumping up in a quick rush of panic.

"Stop, don't touch me right now. Please."

It catches me off guard. Usually, Andre would be one to accept love and affection. Maybe right now, something else clicked inside him.

"What's gotten into you?" There is a sudden softness in her voice. "The first time you told me about what happened, you didn't act like this."

Andre straightens in his seat, drying his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater, "No, it's about–" he hesitates for a moment, "– it's about the nightmare. I saw the breakup happen again, and-" He abruptly stops talking again, shaking his head as the car goes down a spiral hill.

"Was it the one from last night?" Skye hesitates, putting a hand over his.

Andre gulps, his lips immensely quivering.

Even after that, he forces out a tight smile. It's a fake one, and if he'd shown me this smile earlier, I would've believed he was fine.

That's the thing about Andre. He's really good at hiding his feelings, and he chooses who to be vulnerable, too. He trusts us enough to spill out these emotions he's feeling, but there's still apart of him that doesn't want us to worry, doesn't want us to care at all.

Deep down inside, he knows what he wants for himself, but he keeps it in, telling us it's selfish to think for himself. Andre claims that time is better spent trying to find what others want, instead of satisfying his own needs.

A part of that is showing right now, that damned fake smile looks so real.

"I'll be fine. Just a stupid reaction, that's all," he says confidently, his grin growing weaker as he speaks. "It's just a stupid symptom of-"

"No, it isn't-"

"Skye," Andre interrupts, reluctantly grabbing hold of her hand again. He fondly squeezes it gently before letting go. "I'll be fine. We can talk after we go shopping, okay?"

Skye frowns, nodding, agreeing, and lowering her head dejectedly.

The bright lights of the letters shine in our view, the giant building getting bigger and bigger as we move closer to it.

Andre points out the window, shaking Skye, who's nearly asleep. Her head jolts with a start, confusedly looking around like a lost child.

"Huh?" Skye narrows her eyes, then squints to what Andre pointed at. "It's a car dealership place. Interesting indeed," She tells him, sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

I look over to where Andre fixates his eyes. Lance makes a left turn, and the wacky-inflatable-arm-flailing-tube-man next to a row of cars comes into view.

"WACKY-INFLATABLE-ARM-FLAILING-TUBE-MAN, WACKY-INFLATABLE-ARM-FLAILING-TUBE-MAN," Andre repeatedly shouts the same phrase annoyingly, beaming as all we groaned.

"C'mon, it's funny," Andre sighs. "Hey, I was trying to be nice and lighten the whole situation up."

"What situation?" Lance asks as he enters the parking lot. "Sweet. Lots of spaces."

Andre bites his bottom lip, reluctant to answer his question, "Well, I overreacted earlier and ruined the entire mood of the car. We could've been laughing and talking, but nah, my mind decided to have a mental breakdown."

I feel terrible for him, considering he tried to lighten up the situation when he was the one in need.

"We're sorry, Andre. It's a bit late."

"It's 8:10," He corrects me with a smile. "If anything, we should be all tired tomorrow morning, not right now."

Skye brings his hand towards her lips and kisses it softly. "Doesn't matter," She sounds deadpan. "We're still sorry."

"For what?" Andre cocks his head to the side, his voice cracking.

Lance pulls into a parking space and unbuckles his seatbelt, "We're just sorry, okay?"

"Is it because I cried?" Andre wonders. We didn't answer. "Don't worry. I just had an emotional meltdown, that's all."

He forces himself to smile for all of us again, and when he notices us catching on, he quickly leaves the car. He grabs a cart from one of the cart-huts and scurries off, not even bothering to wait for us.

We slowly drag behind him as we neared the giant store.

Skye tugs at my wrist, still with the same guilty look she had earlier. "This is the second time I made him feel like this, I'm sorry."

I forgive her. There's nothing else to do after that. We just have to move on from this and find ways to prevent it from happening again.

The automatic doors open, Andre is waiting for us to catch up.

"Skye," I call. "I should be sorry for teasing you two."

She rubs her arm anxiously and stops in her tracks as the two other boys walk farther into the store.

"I didn't know how to react," Skye replies, approaching me slowly. "I just felt kind of embarrassed. I mean, he was right there."

"It's okay," I try to reassure her, massaging her back soothingly. "If you can't tell, he's gotten better."

Skye intently studies my face, her eyes full of confusion and curiosity, "How so?"

"He hasn't 'lightened a situation' up since May," I imply, eyeing the electronics and jewelry as we passed them by. "After his breakup, his meltdowns were worst. We didn't know how to cheer him up."

Skye raises her hand, with a cocky grin on her face, "But I did. I told a stupid joke."

I giggle and wrap an arm around her shoulders, "Yes, you did. And I think you made him feel better just by being there."

"That joke was bad. I'm more into dark humour," Skye's eyes light up, fighting off a grin as I nudge her affectionately, "Let's find those two boys before they trash the place."

"Agreed."

Skye and I rush towards Lance and Andre, calling for them to stop and wait for us, and they did.

"Let's split up and look for clues," Andre quips, grabbing onto Lance. "You two girls find some stuff."

"We just go here," Skye crosses her arms. "We're all pitching in, right?"

Lance bows, still pushing the cart. Andre checks his pockets frantically.

"Fuck," he mutters, wistfully dropping his arms at his sides.

"What is it?"

"Uh, I kind of forgot my wallet?" Andre slouches, scratching his head in annoyance. "Damnit!"

"Shhh, it's fine," Skye smiles for a moment. "Pay them back later. Or I'll pay them back for you."

Andre objects, "No. Save your money. You bought the whole camping trip."

"But-"

"We'll discuss later. C'mon, Lance, let's go."

The two boys saunter off into the store, near the meat and food sections.

Skye and I walk in the opposite direction, to where the books and gift cards are. I scan the piles of books, not finding anything interesting to read for tomorrow and the rest of the week.

Skye waves her finger in front of the board games, "Hm. All boring."

"Monopoly isn't boring," I protest, walking beside her. "Unless you've played it way too much."

Skye unhappily stares at the floor, "Family board games weren't really... our thing. The board games we did have, I'd find some and play them by myself in my room."

"Awe, Skye," I hug her briefly and awkwardly. She stiffens up, and I can tell her patience is about to blow up any minute. I unwrap my arms and gesture at the game. "Let's get one. You'll have people to play with now."

Skye grins slightly, despite herself, "Thanks."

She keeps the same neutral expression on her face as she browses the shelves of books and other items, "Nothing here. Let's go find some more barbeque sticks; I hear John and Miguel are making pork barbeque or something."

I gasp, excitement and hunger simmering inside me, "Yes! You'll love it! It's a Filipino recipe!"

Skye raises an eyebrow, "Filipino food is quite good. I'll keep that in mind." She points towards the sample tables scattered around the store. "Let's go try stuff. We could find more food for the trip."

As we walk on, Skye restlessly adjusts her beanie. She'd been doing this since we got here.

"Something wrong?" I ask her.

Skye sighs deeply, "Nah, just tired. And kinda sad we didn't find a good book."

"We have Monopoly," I shake the box in front of her.

She only shakes her head, a smirk tugging on one side of her lips, "Looking forward to that game, too. You all are going down."

"You sure?" I challenge her. "You haven't played against me, obviously."

"Pfft," Skye scoffs, looking at me. "Years of playing by myself gave me the experience of how to beat everyone else."

"That didn't make sense," I scrunch my eyebrows.

"Shhh," She gracelessly swipes the box out of my arms. "You'll understand, in time."

"Whatever," I reply. "Hey, I have another question."

"Hm?"

"All your outfits have been red and black or grey so far," I say. "The first day we met you, you were wearing blue. Looking back, we thought nothing of it, but getting to know you and seeing you more, all you have are warm and dark colours."

"Oh!" Skye clicks, her body popping up for a second. "Those were Marjorie's clothes. The day I got kicked out, I was pretty smelly. My clothes were too since I had been carrying that bag all day, absorbing city odours and stuff. Marjorie, let me borrow an outfit and put my bag of clothes into the laundry."

"That explains it," I thank the lady while picking up a small cup of a smoothie sample. "Cheers."

We clink cups, the paper nearly bending at the impact.

"Cheers," Skye says frigidly, moving her hair behind her.

We throw our heads back and drink the smoothie in one gulp.

Andre's POV

"I'm telling you, man," I take three bags of chips and place them into the cart. "I'm fine. I know things are going fast, but we never talked about dating."

"I say just go for it," Lance suggests lazily. "You guys are close and intimate, already. Why not just go for it?"

I stare at him in complete disbelief, "We're dealing with pretty bad stuff right now, Lance. The intimate stuff is a way to help us cope. Of course, I'm planning to ask her out in the future, but now's not the time. It's too early."

"That's a bad way to cope," Lance admits bluntly, the smile on his face fading away. "Be smart about it, okay? Don't fuck up."

"Hmph," I scoff, my jaw clenching impulsively. "I won't fuck up. She's uh... very special to me already. I'll be sure to ask her eventually."

"You better," Lance's mouth snaps shut, studying the racks of cereal. "She talks about you like you put the stars in the sky - she looks at you like that, too."

My cheeks and chest warm, my heart racing faster and faster.

"She does?"

"Mhm," Lance raises a brow at me. "Mr. Tomato, you have a crush."

"I do," I chew at my bottom lip, looking down at my hands. "It's just; those thoughts keep coming back, you know? I've had the same nightmare every night, and God, _it_ just pops up in my head sometimes."

"What does?" Lance inches closer to me, still pushing the cart.

"The breakup," I take a deep breath, my voice cracking.

"Are you over her?" Lance's brows knitted

I hesitantly agree with him, "Sort of. It's hard getting used to single again."

"I understand. So, what are your nightmares about?" Lance slowly rolls the cart, keeping up with me.

"Everyone leaving me, the way she did," I blink, holding back tears. "It sounds selfish, but the emotions I felt after were... Goddamn."

"What did you feel?" His expression quickly hardens.

"After the breakup, I broke my pinkie really bad, remember? Physical and emotional pain does something to your mental," I answer, falling into his arms. I'm surprised he caught me. "It made me feel so powerless; I was backed into such a tight corner."

"Shh, shh," Lance comfortingly shushes me. "You don't have to tell me right now. I'm gonna guess this is a tiny form of PTSD."

"Yeah. I've had more than three anxiety attacks already," I explain, embracing him tighter. "The only way I got them to stop was-"

"Hey, we found you two!" Julianna waves at us, interrupting me. "Look, we got you guys smoothie samples."

Lance pats my back, reassuringly, "We'll talk later."

He makes his way towards the two girls. I stay in place, just gawking at the floor. I shake my head and begin skimming the shelves of food next to me, as a means to distract myself from the painful exchange I had with Lance.

My saving grace is finding the cookies I always get when coming here. Luckily for me, they're five boxes down the shelf.

Well, they aren't really cookies. They're more like graham crackers but are considered butter cookies with a chocolate coating on top of it.

Unfortunately for me, I didn't bring my wallet, which has some cash, and there's enough to buy at least two boxes of these.

It's called "Cēlēbrations."

I hold the box longer in my hands before putting them back on the shelves, "Damnit."

"What's wrong, Tiger?" Skye asks, swiftly appearing next to me.

I stagger back slightly, startled, "Hey! Don't sneak up on me like that."

Skye chuckles, grabbing a box of Cēlēbrations, "Hm, never had one."

"I'm not surprised," I unknowingly put an arm around her. "No one buys these cookies, even though they're heavenly on your tastebuds."

"Do you want one?" Skye proposes, about to put the box of cookies in the cart.

I catch her hand, grabbing the box out, "No, save your money."

"Andre-"

"Nope, no arguing. Nope," I push every box on the shelf further into it. "Now, you can't get them, shortie."

"You're three inches taller than me," Skye rolls her eyes, sounding disappointed. "Fine."

I peck the side of her head, softly whispering into her ear, "Thanks for listening."

As Skye starts to walk away, she loops back around and hands me a smoothie sample, "Oh, almost forgot."

I poke her forehead with two fingers and smile at her, taking a long sip, "Wanna walk around?"

Skye's eyes seem to flicker, "I thought you'd never ask."

"Lance! Skye and I are gonna go walk," I wave at the couple talking near the shelf opposite from where we’re are standing. "Text one of us if you need anything."

The send us off and Skye, and I don't waste any time touching and grabbing stuff from the shelves.

Mostly me. I have this terrible habit of touching everything I see at stores, thinking little of the consequences I may face if I drop a glass or spill foods and drinks.

Skye taps her foot, looking entirely unamused, "Andre, if you keep this up, we'll be here all night."

"Must. Touch. Everything," I blurt energetically, gazing at everything around me.

"Why are you like this?"

I ignore her and see a fridge full of juice and soda, "SKYE, LOOK! DRINKS!"

"You sound like an alcoholic," Skye snickers, walking over to me.

Skye hits my shoulder as my hands enter the fridge, grasping whatever is in front of me, "You can't buy alcohol out in a public store." I imply.

"I know that! I was trying to make a joke," She responds monotonously, also scanning the inside of the fridge. "Actually, you might want something here."

"Let me touch it," I put a carton of juice and a bottle of water back to their respective places.

Skye points to the funky looking bottle resembling a gourd. I happily reach for it, clutching the middle of the bottle.

"Jesus," Skye gapes at the bottle of pomegranate juice with wide eyes. "It's a fucking gourd."

"If only I brought my wallet," I sigh, reading the logo on the label on the juice bottle. "This stuff is the shit."

Pom juice is one of my favourite drinks. It tastes funny at first, but once you drink it daily, it's like heaven on your taste buds. My friends, however, do not like this drink. Every time I bring up the idea of drinking Pom Juice, they'd all go home or change the subject. Or hit me.

"It certainly looks tasty," Skye says uncertainly, reading the words on the label over my shoulder. "It's dark purple, almost black. Like my soul."

She yanks a bottle from the fridge and wraps her tiny hands around the middle of the gourd bottle. She looks to be amused, reading what's on the label and fidgeting around with it.

"Of course you'd say that," I lively tell her. "Well, let's go. I can't touch stuff all day. As much as I'd like too."

"But I wanna hold it more," Skye whines slightly, still sounding considerably casual. "It feels funny. I want to touch it more."

"Nope, we have to go, Pal," I plead as I place the drinks back into the fridge. "Now, you wanna touch stuff too, huh?"

Skye's lips curl, "No, wait, that sounds wrong."

"Mhm, it does," Point at giant bags of chips tucked into a box by the edge of a shelf. "We can touch those."

"But, I wanna touch the gourd bottle again."

"Skye, no."

"Out of my way, Macatangay," Skye shoves me out of the way, darting to the fridge and grabbing two Pom juices. "You can't stop me now, bitch."

"You're certainly in a better condition than when I found you at my front door," I announce, promptly returning the bottles in her hands back to the fridge. "Did something happen?"

Skye gives me a funny look, her nostrils flaring at me as I shut the fridge, "Nothing happened."

I shrug, "You sure?"

"Positive," Skye smiles sarcastically, walking away. She stops in her tracks and turns around. Her face is hard to read; I can't tell what she's thinking.

"Thank you. For bringing me in last night."

"You already thanked me for that," I reluctantly approach her. "I hope you remember what I said."

"What'd you tell me?" Skye's wondrous voice cracks, with a slight grin on her face. "Don't look so scared. I remember what you said; I just want to hear it come out of your mouth again."

I scratch the side of my cheek, then reach for her hands, clutching them tightly in mine.

I lose myself in her eyes, "I would do anything for you."

Skye stares at me, her face colouring slightly pink.

"Even kill someone?"

"You say that so casually, it scares me," I twine her hand in mine, wandering around the store. "Of course I would, under certain circumstances."

She flashes me a menacing, but teasing grin, "Good."

I notice a slouch in my back as we walked. My posture is usually good, but after the last couple of weeks, I've been feeling disheartened. I'm paranoid; another attack would come and get me at any moment.

I just keep to myself and try distracting myself with friends and other activities. I'm incredibly thankful for Skye; she's been helping me get through the struggle of having to deal with my mental state.

"Hey, Tiger," Skye taps on my hand with her finger. "Now, you look down. What's up?"

I tilt my head and stutter, "Just scared that I'm gonna have another attack."

"You won't get another one," Skye convinces me, her voice sounds full of honesty, how could I not believe her? "I'm here if it happens, though, okay?"

"Well, since I started drinking and taking those pills, I was sure another attack wouldn't come," I answer. It feels as if there's this raincloud above me, wherever I went, the feelings of sadness follow, no matter how hard I try to keep myself happy. "But I'm only temporarily suppressing what's bound to happen."

Skye's face falls, her eyes full of worry. I abruptly stop walking. She peers and rushes back to me, looking at the stuffed bear in my hands.

It's a stuffed black bear with a rose engraved on the corner of its forehead. How fitting.

"Do you want it? It has 'Skye' written all over it," I think for a moment, realizing I still don't have my wallet I stupidly left at home. "Nevermind."

Fucking hell, if I could, I'd find a way for my wallet to appear in my pocket. Shit, I'd probably find ways to break the laws of physics and logic just to please her.

Skye places the stuffed toy back into the cardboard box.

"Sad?"

"Yeah," I admit, sounding flustered. "Mostly because I can't get you that bear, and I can't get myself Cēlēbration Cookies and Pom Juice."

She strokes my back and continues walking forward, "It's alright. I would've told you to save your money, too."

Skye and I venture every corner of the store, laughing and being complete idiots messing around. I had toppled a rack full of gift cards and regrettably had to pick them up at Skye's amusement.

I glare at her, knowing full well she's the one who knocked me into it.

"You love me," Skye sneers, crossing her arms.

"Mhm," I enclose an arm around her. "Not like that. We ain't there yet."

"Ouch."

I lean her in closer and rest a tiny kiss on her forehead, "We'll get there. In plus, I could be lying."

Skye blushes furiously, biting her lip to resist a smile but to no avail, "You're not one to lie, though."

I shrug, "Maybe I am."

"That scares me," Skye shivers, and I reflexively hold onto her tighter in an attempt to keep her warm.

"Don't worry, Bub. I wouldn't lie to you," I give her another kiss, but this time I lower my head to peck her cheek.

"Okay," She replies dryly.

Both of our phones buzz. I pull mine out and sigh, "Lance and Julianna bought their shit; let's go."

Skye stretches, letting go of my hand and yawns, "I'll meet you at the exit. Need to use the washroom."

I bow my head and leave her to do her business.

She gives me a familiar smile, hers being so soft and sweet.

It makes my stomach somersault, my heart flutter and, fuck, that warmness that washes over me comes back.

I remember vividly, finally getting Skye to smile for the first time. It felt like I accomplished something important, something good.

The first time I saw her smile, my heart did a complete 360 around my body, almost like I was flying. She blows my mind every time. Now, I see her smile every day, and it feels the same way. It always feels the same way.

I meet Lance and Julianna at the exit. In both hands, they were carrying at least two bags of supplies and food.

"Where's Skye?" Julianna looks around behind me. "Don't tell me you lost her."

"What? No. She went to the washroom," I scratch my head.

Lance brings his arms around both Julianna and me, "You two, get in the car. I'll wait for her."

"I can stay here and wait, Lance. It's okay," I nudge him to leave, but he only shook his head.

"Andre, don't worry. Just go."

Julianna beckons me to follow her. I reluctantly do so. I take the two bags from Lance's hands and drag behind her.

I take a glance behind my shoulder. Lance gives me a wave as the automatic doors close.

"Such a beautiful day, huh?" I squint at the setting sun in the distance.

"I hear it's gonna rain tonight," Julianna groans, a slight huskiness in her voice. "Hopefully, it won't be too muddy tomorrow."

"I heard it on the radio earlier," I answer her hesitantly. "It might be kinda grey-ish tomorrow morning. I'm sure it'll clear up, though."

Julianna doesn't talk, only unlocking the car doors and opening the trunk of the car. We throw the bags of chips and paper plates and utensils into the trunk.

Julianna hops into shotgun, and I go into a seat behind her. We make some small talk, waiting for Skye and Lance to return.

I see them approaching in the corner of my eye, and Skye has a single paper bag dangling against her thigh. Oh no.

She opens the door with a massive smile on her face as she catches my gaze. I gave her a look.

"What's that?"

Lance coughs, "She got you the worst drink in the world and, cookies."

I gasp, out of surprise and guilt, "Skye! You didn't have to buy these."

"I didn't have too," She speaks. "But, I got them for you anyway."

Julianna clears her throat and slams her seat into mine, " _Andre. Say, thank you."_

"I-" My stomach flutters as Skye tilts her head, and hands me the gourd bottle of Pom Juice and -Cēlēbration cookies. "Thanks, Skye."

Skye's face remains neutral, buckling her seatbelt in and looking out the window.

"You're welcome." She blankly looks back at me.

"Wait. You didn't have to go to the washroom," I aim a finger at her. "YOU LYING BASTARD."

Skye laughs, holding her stomach and grabbing my knee, "You're cute. It was the least I could do for you. Since you let me stay the night."

"Kiss-ass," Julianna jokingly sticks her tongue out at Skye.

"Fuck you."

The car ride home was a quiet one. Other than Lance and Julianna muttering out some words, Skye and I sat silently, occasionally looking at each other and smiling.

The sun seems to set slower than I anticipated, the sky turning a light purple as we exit the highway.

To our dismay, a few droplets on the windshield tap onto the glass loudly. We all groan, the rain might make its way to Pike Lake, which would make our campsite and dirt roads there all muddy.

Lance powers on the radio and passes me the AUX, "Here."

I plug my phone in and play the song Skye, and I last danced too.

Skye's head perks up and turns to look at me. She only grins, snaking her arm through mine and snuggles against me.

As we near Hampton Village, the rain transforms into a light drizzle. We all breathe a sigh of relief as the rain appears to have subsided everywhere. Julianna confirms this, saying that a rain cloud passed through Saskatoon, but wasn't headed towards Pike Lake.

Lance drops Julianna off at her house first. She kisses him good-bye, and we wait for her to enter the house safely before leaving.

In the corner window of her living room, she signals us to go. Lance nodded and did a u-turn around towards my house.

"I can't wait for tomorrow," I mumble, bringing Skye against my body. "A week of peaceful nights and just being out in nature."

"It won't be quiet," Skye blurts. "You and John are gonna be with us."

I giggle, bringing her hand up to kiss it quickly, "You'll survive. You've had to deal with us all summer, anyway."

Skye bites her bottom lips, "I guess."

Lance pulls into our driveway, putting the car into park and turning back to look at us.

"Goodnight, you two," He winks. "Try not getting her pregnant before our trip, Andre."

I pelt his face with a playful slap, snickering as I got out of the car.

"I won't be doing that."

"He's right," Skye says lazily, glancing over her shoulder as she began walking to my front door. "He won't be getting any of that shit."

"Oof," Lance whistles. "Tough love?"

"Lance, as dirty as my humour can sometimes be," I shut the car door and knock on his slightly rolled down window.

"More like all the time," Lance mocks me.

I growl, puffing my cheeks, "Still! I'm not planning to do that to Skye. Not a chance."

"He's right," Skye peeks her head around the corner. "If he tried anything, he'd already be dead."

Skye brings a finger up to her throat and slices across her neck. A menacing laugh choruses out of her mouth, pointing at our pale faces.

"Why do you like someone that terrifying?"

"She ain't serious, bub," I study at where she was, and she disappears entirely. "Okay. She probably turned the corner."

"Nope." I hear from behind. I jump and fall backward into the concrete.

Lance and Skye point at me, wheezing.

"Oh, God! You should've seen your face!" Lance exclaims, pounding on the dashboard of his car.

I shake my head and dust myself off, "Nice one. You're sleeping on the couch."

I stomp towards the front door, and Skye's footsteps trail behind.

"Hey! It was a joke!" Skye says, trying to hold in a few more giggles. "Bye, Lance!"

Lance drives off, disappearing in the horizon of twilight.

"I know, Skye. You're not gonna sleep on the couch."

"Oh. You sounded serious."

"When the hell have I sounded serious?" I snort.

"Hmm. Never. I just assumed," Skye rushes past me towards the door.

I wiggle the keys into the doorknob and lock and swing the door open.

"We missed the sunset," Skye touches my back. "Let's go, Macatangay."

She's right. The only lights are coming from the streetlamps, and also orange hue the sky has left from the sunset.

"Awe," I apologize to her, we were supposed to watch the sunset tonight, but certain circumstances changed that. "We can watch it for the whole week, don't worry."

Skye lets out a sad smile, "I'm looking forward to it."

She slips off her shoes and climbs up the stairs. I see her trot into our room, glancing at me.

I purse my lips, a smirk forming at the corner of my lips, "See you in a minute."

"Don't come in!" Skye slams the door shut. "I'm gonna change!"

I greet my mom, who's staring down at me above the railings in my living room. I place the paper bag onto the counter and sit at the steps leading to my parents' bedroom.

"Skye?" I get up and knock. "You done?"

"No!" She yells, her voice muffled through the door. "I'm trynna find shorts."

"Use mine. You're starting to take too long," I offer. "There in the first drawer-"

"Yeah, I know! They're too big!"

"Then top it with one of my shirts," I suggest, scratching my head in alarm as I realize most of my clothes were in my duffel bag for camping. "Wait, I'll pass you them."

"Hurry!"

I scurry to my bag and pull out a random shirt and pair of shorts. I pull out Jordan Brand shorts, which I mainly used for working out, and a simple white t-shirt.

I tap on my bedroom door and creak it open just a smidge, enough to slip her the clothing.

"Thanks, Andre," I hear her say. After a few minutes, she finally emerges. "I look crusty as hell with your clothes on."

"Ouch," I clutch my chest, pretending to be in pain.

She playfully bonks my head with her, knuckle, "Oh, shut up."

"Movie?" I let myself inside my room and leap into the bed.

Skye suddenly clicks, nodding, "Yes, sir. Let me pick it again."

"You're just gonna end up playing something I like because you can't think of any. No," I sprawl out on the bed. "By the way, I might sleep on the floor tonight."

I notice the corners of Skye's lips start to fall slowly; the tone in her voice becomes quiet and somewhat discouraged. "What? Why?"

"Why won't I let you pick the movie, or why I'm gonna sleep on the floor?"

"The second question, first," Skye sits on the bed.

I gawk at her for a solid two minutes before she had to snap her fingers to bring me back to my senses. Skye looks absolutely adorable.

"Because I want you to have all that beautiful space on my soft bed. I'll be on the floor anyway if you need anything," I explain, opening my closet to take out an extra blanket to spread out onto the floor.

Skye opens her mouth halfway, then holds onto her voice, her face becoming red and seeming quite unsettled.

"Nevermind," She sighs, fluffing her pillow and laying down.

"Hey, tell me," I demand politely. "You know what happens to me when people say 'nevermind.'"

Skye murmurs, "It's no big deal."

"It is now," As I lie down next to Skye, I circle an arm around her. "C'mon. Spit it out."

Skye swallows hard, "Well..."

It took about two minutes of cuddling for her to finally speak up.

"I want this, again," She stammers nervously. "I wanna fall asleep next to you again. And I want you to do, uhm.."

I poke her forehead with two fingers and smiles, "You seem nervous."

"I am," Skye admits with a deep breath. "Anyway. I want you to cuddle with me, like last night."

My heart flutters, leaving me speechless. Skye puts her dark red hair over her face to hide the pink flush on her cheeks.

"Skye, I-"

"It's okay. You can sleep on the floor tonight," Skye shakes her head, apparently discouraged in herself, face full of regret. "Forget I even said anything."

A feeling of guilt overwhelms me. I don't know if I hurt her or if she doesn't mind, I would be sleeping on the floor.

I sigh and make my decision.

It's self-evident she feels uncomfortable telling me the truth, and I understand why she tries hiding it, to begin with. Little does she know, I want the same, and what she said lifted a thousand pounds off my chest.

"I'll sleep next to you," I say suddenly. "Let's watch a movie."

Skye nods approvingly. I get up and help her set the bed, more fit for two people. We brush our teeth together and settle in under the sheets. Skye finds a movie called _Suckerpunch._

It's a weird movie. Too weird, and we ended up just talking the whole time. I spoke to Skye about what Lance and I discussed earlier at Costco. About my nightmare.

"Awww, you know we won't ever do that, right?" Skye consoled me, squeezing my hand.

I glance her a fake smile, "Of course."

Skye returns it, hers looking more convincing than mine. We finish the movie we're watching and peeking at the time; it's ten o'clock. Skye yawns, cuddling closer to me.

"Goodnight," I whisper, lightly kissing the top of her head.

"Night."

She nuzzles her head just below my neck, her warm breaths lightly hitting against my skin. I instantly melt, and if it's quiet enough in the room, both of us would be able to hear my heart constantly beating against my chest.

I can't feel hers, but I don't want to move. Skye is fast asleep already. If I tried to move, just the slightest, it might wake her.

My breathing grows low and quiet as I bind a tentative arm to envelop her shoulders to get her head into a more comfortable position. She doesn't wake. Instead, she rests a hand on top of my chest, still letting out tiny snores.

So many things were happening to me all at once.

I feel confused, happy, loved, my heart is warming while butterflies fly freely in my stomach. I have an uncontrollable urge to squeal.

The smile I have on my face as I watch Skye sound asleep next to me would become a beacon inside the dark. So much so, you'd be able to see everything so clearly. When you have a crush, cuddling with them like this would only be a wish, and you'd get all the same feelings imagining this very moment.

However, I was experiencing a reality, for the second night in a row. I sang to her last night, which, singing so late at night, causes energy to drain, but it makes your adrenaline spike significantly.

I'm on cloud fucking nine.

I'm already cherishing these moments in my head before they'd go away entirely. Part of me wants to stay awake, to savour this moment. But we have to rise and shine early tomorrow.

It's finally the week all of us waited for.

The week we go camping.


	28. Billie Jean

_A/N: This chapter uses another Garageband video! This time, made by YouTuber, "Jackson Michael" (how fitting)._

_[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1uVVWGvvWU&feature=emb_logo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1uVVWGvvWU&feature=emb_logo) _

_Camping: Prologue_

_4:30 AM_

_July. 22nd, 2019_

Skye's POV

My phone buzzes on the wooden top of Andre's dresser. The sound of the alarm echoes in the room, loud enough to wake me up

I'd fallen asleep on Andre's chest, my head weakly lifting from it. I sweep my hair out of the way and squint at the light beaming up into the ceiling. Thankfully, It ceases after three minutes. I groan quietly, trying not to wake Andre next to me.

I slowly raise my head and shift away from his embrace. The phone rings again. I swiftly and carefully crawl to the foot of his bed and tap dismiss to stop the ringing.

I glance over my shoulder, tying up the curtains to let the early-morning sun's rays into the bedroom. I peer over at the sleeping Andre, his snoring gaining quite loud. I smile to myself as I watch his chest rise and fall with each sleeping breath.

I don't want him to wake up yet; It's still early. The time we agreed to get up was five.

I, however, set the alarm half an hour early to get a head start on loading the car, showering, and making breakfast.

Marjorie mentioned something to Nick and me about what they call 'Filipino time.' Filipinos would agree on a specific time, but instead of sticking to the schedule, they'd be an hour or two late. They've done this on more than one occasion, namely the first time we all hung out by the river. The favoured time was five, and Andre and Miguel showed up around six, Marjorie and I, seven.

Being awake this early became justified, as I assumed that they would all wake up, Filipino time.

I turn the corner into the kitchen, and Andre's mom is there, scrambling around to get ready for work.

"Good morning, Tita," I say to the best of my abilities.

"Skye! You're awake too early!" She whispers, moving fast around the kitchen to gather her supplies.

"I wanted to get a head start on everyone," I explain bluntly, yawning and walking over to the packaged goods we were going to bring. They're tucked neatly against the coffee table.

Mrs. Macatangay smiles gently at me, passing me by to proceed down the stairs hastily. As she reaches the bottom, she twirls towards me, panting.

"Skye, can you pass me the car keys to the Odyssey?" She points with her lips on the counter where the keys were. "I almost forgot them."

I swipe them off the island and toss them to her. She catches them with precision, slipping on her shoes at the same time.

"Have a good day, Tita."

"Have fun on your camping trip." And with that, the garage doors lift, and I can see the white van drive off into the distance, through the window.

I saunter off into the kitchen and lean against the island, thinking hard on what to cook.

I place two frying pans on the stove, heating the stovetops to medium heat, and wander towards the washroom.

I take the time to wash my face, gurgling water in my mouth before I start cooking. The house is dead silent; all I can hear is the ventilation inside the walls.

It's peaceful.

Usually, the mornings at my house were hectic and depressing. I was forced to do most of the chores and cook.

I put a little butter in one pan and crack two eggs into it.

Perfect, none of the yolks broke.

Something fidgets within the house, and I hear Andre's bedroom door open.

It's 4:50, and his tired voice reverberates inside the detached house.

"Morning," Andre yawns, cracking his neck and knuckles. "What time did you wake up? It's a bit early."

"Four-thirty," I answer, putting two pieces of bread in the toaster.

I feel him come up behind me and hug me tightly, resting his chin on my head.

"Why'd you wake up so early?"

"Wanted to get a head-start," I answer, covering the eggs with a glass lid. "You should get ten more minutes of sleep, all of you agreed to wake up at five."

"Nah, your alarm woke me up, I checked my phone when you left the room," Andre's voice still sounds a bit raspy, which was admittedly kind of cute. "Everyone's been awake since four; they're just waiting for the two of us."

I nearly drop the spatula inside the other pan, "So, we're late?"

He nods gleefully, "I'll get that shit to the car."

Andre lifts with such surprising strength, bringing the boxes to the garage and into the trunk of his car.

His phone on the counter began vibrating. At first, I thought it was his alarm, but it was a call from Marjorie.

I remain frozen over the stove, contemplating whether to answer it.

I decide to press the green button, almost immediately regretting my choice after.

"Hey."

"Skye?" Marjorie sounds faint through the phone. "What the hell? I thought you hated phone calls."

A noticeable stutter escapes my mouth, pushing the phone against the wall and putting it on speaker.

"I'll be fine, it's just you, anyway," I tell her. I needed to hear myself say that, too. "What do you need?"

Marjorie pauses, "Just wondering where Andre is."

"Loading stuff in the car, why?"

She sighs over the phone, "I was gonna tell him to bring his fishing rods, John's fishing rods are broken."

"I'll send the message. Where are you all right now?"

There was another moment of silence before she spoke again.

"Well, I slept over at Thu Thu's. Everyone else, except John, is still M.I.A." Marjorie hums happily. "I'll call 'em right now. See you soon."

We say our good-byes and hung up. A wave of relief hits me, like a strong breeze on a windy day. It almost pushes me back until I see Andre walking up the stairs.

He gathers the rest of the boxes and doesn't even bother to look at me.

I flip the bacon once more, and he quickly returns up the stairs and approaches me.

"Fancy some breakfast, Macatangay?" I flash a tiny smile his way.

He returns it with an even bigger, more adorable grin, "Maybe after I shower."

I smirk, "Keep it unlocked; I need to brush my teeth."

Andre raises an eyebrow but didn't answer.

I search for the plates and glasses, opening the cupboard above the rice cooker and finding them. I pour two glasses of milk and set them onto the table, the sound of the washroom's light switch flicks on, and the door shuts quietly with a squeak. I don't hear the knob lock. He listened to me.

Now, I'm planning anything dirty. I genuinely need to brush my teeth after eating, but apart of me wants to mess with him. Flicker the lights, toss a bucket full of ice cubes over the shower curtain, or flush the toilet, y'know, that kind of stuff.

The shower in the washroom turns on as I take my first bite of scrambled eggs on toast.

I finish eating, bringing my dishes to the sink and begin washing them swiftly. I trudge to the washroom to brush my teeth, I step inside, and twist the faucet. Andre finishes his shower but remains behind the curtains.

"Skye? This was awful timing, huh," Andre rustles, peeping in the corner of the shower curtain. "Sup."

"Don't come out." I giggle as I start brushing my teeth.

I see in the corner of my eye, his arm reaching for his towel. Unluckily for him, he drops it.

"Fuck." He awkwardly clears his throat. "Could you get that for me, Skye?"

I spit and rinse my mouth out, "One second."

I walk over and reach for the towel, carefully handing it to him.

"Thanks. You can hop in after I change." Andre offers, disappearing behind the curtains. "Scram! My clothes are on the counter there!"

I oblige, laughing, closing the door softly and heading to the bedroom to pick out the clothes I'm going to wear.

Nothing special. The red and black shirt with a ripped denim skirt and fishnet tights. My favourite outfit.

I notice my beanie on Andre's computer desk and decide to take it. Despite the sweltering hot weather, we had last week, today was at an all-time low for the summer - only fifteen degrees Celsius, not to mention, storm clouds.

I heard it wouldn't rain, just a drizzle, it isn't something to worry about.

Hopefully, it stays like that; muddy campsites would not be fun.

"The washroom is all yours, Bub!" Andre says, knocking on the bedroom door.

By the time I step outside, Andre was already in the kitchen, chowing down on the breakfast I made him.

Part of me feels insecure; my parents would always force me to cook, then harass me verbally when it wasn't done good, or at least it wasn't good to them.

At the same time, however, this was Andre. Every flaw and quirk I have in my arsenal, he embraces it and tells me he loves it.

It's the closest thing to love I've ever felt, and the sensations are still with me.

The way he looks at me, I can feel the enormous amount of care he's given me, and how much he actually does.

Everything he does for me is genuine, hell; all of the others are all genuine too.

"Skye! Come here!"

My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach, and my heartbeat quickens. I'm beginning to think he didn't like it.

What if he starts giving me hell exactly like my parents do about my food?

No, he won't, that isn't Andre. But what if he forces himself to be nice? What if..?

I hesitate as I approach from behind the chair.

"Yes?" I stumble my words, inspecting over his head.

He turns around, a massive smile on his face, as per usual when he's in a great mood.

"This is goddamn amazing!" Andre shouts, quickly hushing himself. "How'd you- I mean, how did you do this?"

I breathe a sigh of relief and grin back, "Gordon Ramsay way."

"Ethan Ramsey way?"

"No, the chef!" I snort, covering my mouth. "That guy is a doctor."

"I'm aware." Andre nods approvingly of my eggs and toast. "Gordon Ramsay, Ethan Ramsey, doesn't matter! Skye makes the best eggs!" He loudly blurts.

"Flatterer." I tuck my hair behind my ear, still carrying my clothes.

He gladly tosses his plate into the sink and washes it, "I'll flatter you more if you finish showering."

I shake my head and caress his shoulder before making my way to the washroom.

I shower quicker than usual, only because bad thoughts usually come to me in the bathroom. I don't exactly know why, but it just does.

Most likely from my self-harm of the days before, it's more tempting now than it will be the rest of the day.

I just... keep hearing Brian's voice over and over in my head.

'If you made friends this summer, it's only because they pitied you. They don't care about you, just watch. Whoever these people are, are either as useless and pathetic as you. They felt bad for such a small and weak person.'

_Pathetic, weak, useless, pitied, useless, useless, useless._

I graze a finger against my cheek, slowly sliding them up under my eyes. Despite being drizzled in water in the shower, I still notice the unusually hot tears streaming down along with the droplets of water gushing down my face.

Part of me wishes what Brian said isn't true, but it's only logical that he's right.

I mean, just look at me. I don't know how they'd tolerate someone like me in the first place, and now they know more things to pity me about.

The fact that they know Brian doesn't help me in any way. Andre, Miguel and, John seem to hate his guts the most. I'd expect it from Miguel and Jolo, but Andre? He could barely hurt a fly, let alone hate someone.

I don't know what to trust. I hope that they saw more to me than what they saw initially that I was somehow special. If not, then the most logical reason to why they're sticking around is because of pure pity.

"Skye? Come outside; I have a great idea." Andre's voice breaks me out of my painful thoughts.

His gentle voice always reminds me that I could always trust him. Always.

"Yeah, one second."

I put the last of my clothes on and emerge from the washroom. Andre slyly checks me out, eyes scanning every inch of me. It feels like he's looking at literally _all_ of me, even the flaws I hate. Somehow, he tolerates them; it baffles my mind, how.

"Hubba, hubba," He winks and kisses my forehead. "I love this outfit. It literally screams out, 'Skye!'"

Notwithstanding the thoughts that were bestowed upon my mind, I laugh, perhaps a little too much.

I clear my throat, "Uh, let me get my necklace and bracelet."

I clip them on and follow him into the living room, where all the musical instruments are magically set up.

"It's too loud to play and too early," I remind him. "I don't think our brains would be working that fast at this hour."

"Nonsense. If anything, this would kick-start our brains."

"What about your Dad and Adrian? Aren't they asleep?" I wondered, bobbing my head towards their room.

Andre shakes his head, "I checked the rooms. My dad went to work before my mom, and Adrian is awake too."

"Why hasn't he come out yet?"

He shrugs, "Didn't want to bother us, I suppose."

"Either way, I don't have my drums here," I argue, even though I am aching to play something right now.

"GarageBand!" Andre groans and drags me to the Mac Book.

"Make a beat for Billie Jean."

"Billie Jean already has a drumbeat, can't I use that one?"

"Ugh, fine," Andre beckons me to start making the beat.

"Are we recreating another song?"

"Yes, Ma'am." Andre beams, plugging in the bass as I finish. "Since we're a dynamic duo when it comes to music, let's have bass and drum-heavy piece, yes?"

I can't help but smile, "Let me play bass."

"What would I play?" Andre tilts his head and furrows his eyebrows.

"Think of something," I say bluntly.

"Marjorie said we had an hour to get there." Andre takes a deep breath, looking as if light bulbs click in his head. "ONE HOUR CHALLENGE!"

I raise an eyebrow, "This is gonna be bad."

"Nah! It won't!" Andre massages my shoulders, which admittedly feels good. "C'mon Skye, please?"

"Only if you let me play bass," I slyly lean into his massage.

Andre stares at me for a second, his eyes, unbeknownst to him, look lost in mine. He simply grins, his teeth shining brightly, and his eyes becoming even more mesmerizing.

"How could I say no to a face like that?"

I feel my stomach turn and legs shake, along with heat rising to my cheeks. I attempt to cover my face, but he catches my hand midway.

"Fine," He runs a hand through his hair. "I'll make the drumbeat."

"Timer started three minutes ago, hurry!" I say with a grin.

I start playing the famous bass line with ease. Of course, knowing him, Andre applauds me, hugging me tightly.

"You sound just like me!" He emits happily, still hugging me. "I'll plug in the keyboard for synthesizers. And I'll take a chance on that electric; I have something in mind."

"The piano can play strings, too, right?" I ask, fingers moving fast as I drag the recording of the bass and sync it with the drums.

Instead of answering, he begins playing the keyboard, the sound of the synthesizers coming out of the speakers.

He finishes and looks towards me, "Fix the mixing and stuff on that."

"But the strings." I remind him.

"Yes, yes. The keyboard has strings. Press record in three..." Andre counts, abruptly shutting his mouth to record the strings.

It hit the half-hour mark.

Our chemistry is much improved since Bohemian Rhapsody. We give each other grins, as Andre beautifully plays a sweet riff on the guitar. It's not a significant part, it only comes by near the end, but it adds some flavour to the song.

"I'm amazed at how talented you are." He adds, circling an arm around my waist. "Tech skills, instrumental skills, what else?".

I scoff, "Cheese-ball."

"Oh! Cooks like Ethan Ramsey."

Andre's comment causes another laugh out of me.

His voice suddenly softens, "You have the most stunning face, stars are always in your eyes, your lips are amazing, lipstick or not, and you have a Goddess' voice–"

"Andre!" A smile forces itself out of me, his hands interlocking into mine.

"You're the whole package, Skye," He gently kisses the top of my head. "And you smell of blueberries."

I let myself sink into his arms, "Shut up."

The world seems to melt away; his touch is so warm, his energy radiating with all the care he's given me, even without saying anything - his soft, calming gaze.

I bat my eyes, which is unlike me, but the moment right now gets my anxiety to boil much more than usual. I know I shouldn't be anxious, but the emotions are there, it's hard to ignore.

"Skye, is there something in your eye?"

My mouth gapes open, "Nope! Nothing at all!"

He snickers, "Finishing touches, now! We can look at each other dreamily later, m'kay?"

I roll my eyes and add the few finishing touches he's talking about. The end result of our second project is surprisingly fantastic.

Not as amazing as the first, but it's up to par. We only had an hour to work on this, after all.

"Too bad we never got to add words," I look over at him.

Andre raises his shoulders, "We didn't feel like singing. In plus, the words from an instrument would sound weird. For Billie Jean, at least. BohRhap worked well."

Happy with our work, he uploads it and sends the link to the Skype call. I shut the laptop off and sit down on his couch.

Andre gradually gets up, letting out a jagged sigh when he glances at me. There's this peculiar nervousness in his face I've never seen before. He noticeably gulps, his eyes twitching.

While lifting his left hand, he starts rubbing his pinky and seems like he can't decide to look at me or my feet.

"Hey," I try snapping him out of the sudden uneasiness he started feeling. "Andre?"

He swallows hard again, apprehensively approaching me. His face shifts into an innocent one; he almost looks like a lost child trying to find his way through a crowded, busy street.

"Can I braid your hair?" Andre nervously asks.

The question was so out of the blue, and it somehow makes me like him even more.

"What?" I confusedly gaze at him. "Did I hear that, right?"

Andre lies down on the couch, resting his head on my thighs. "Yeah, you did."

"We have fifteen minutes, well, another half an hour. The others just texted, saying they'd be late."

"How typical."

"Indeed." Andre's eyes dart up at me. "So, can I?"

My heartbeat starts rapidly pacing more and more, and it suddenly got warmer around my chest and stomach.

"Sure." I agree, trying to sound as dry as I could, in an effort to conceal my pent up, giddy feelings. "I think I might regret this."

Andre tensely cracks his knuckles, "Me too."

He lifts his head and grabs a chair for me to sit on. The piano bench is the closest seat available.

I sit down, preparing myself for his hands to style my hair. His hands jerk around for a bit before he finally got it going.

He flattens my hair, and his hands run through it so smoothly and gracefully.

"This feels nice," I admit, nuzzling my head into his hands.

"That's good. I'm glad," I can tell he's smiling just from the way he talked.

I cough awkwardly, becoming a little bit nervous, "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"O' ye, of little faith," Andre chuckles. "I'll be very careful with you, I promise."

He pulls me into his lap. I reluctantly curl into him, resting my chin on his shoulder. Maybe this isn't so bad.

Andre's POV

All I can hear is my heart drumming against my chest. I'm nervous as hell, even though we've been closer than this, I don't trust myself to braid her hair. What was I thinking?

Skye's little body is so warm against mine, and I can hear and feel her soft breathing at my ear. I ran my fingers through her hair.

"Mm, this feels even better," Skye sighs dreamily, rubbing the back of my head.

I go to work, doing my best at styling her hair, "Good, tell me if I pull on accident."

"Knowing you, you'll pull it on purpose," Skye laughs, nuzzling her head against mine as I worked.

Skye shivers and clears her throat, "Uhm, I forgot to apologize to you last night."

"For what, Bub?"

"For what I said in the car," She clarifies, fidgeting with my ear. "We forgot to talk about it last night."

I nearly drop my arms; I'm hoping she wouldn't remember that.

I do my best to hide my feelings, and it is easy, she couldn't see my face, but could hear my voice. I didn't want to remind myself of that mental breakdown; I went insane.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"There is. You promised," Skye nearly stomps her foot down. "Andre, I can tell you're bothered by it, so just let me help you like you helped me."

My heart leaps into my throat, how could she notice? Just like that, too?

"How are you so sure?" I question her, my heart beginning to race as I almost fumble up her hair again

Skye is getting anxious on my lap, shifting around to get comfortable, "I can tell. I'll be honest with you; your instinct rubbed off on me."

I grin widely, my cheeks warming up and feeling sore from all the smiling. I'm glad she cared, probably more than I did and tried.

Skye has a weird way of telling you she does care, and this just happened to be one of those moments.

Her acknowledgments towards others are a dead giveaway, they don't sound like it, but they are. She may sound dry when she finds the courage to compliment or praise you, but she cares, and you will feel it if she cares.

To be completely honest, it felt like all that pent-up pain from last night was nearing its course. Skye was the reason it was all going away.

"I'm flattered," Caressing her hair, I question her more. "What do you wanna talk about anyway? We don't have much time."

"Why not start by telling me about your nightmare?"

That word rings in my head for a solid minute, which feels like two hours in my mind.

It would take too much time to explain the whole nightmare. That dream made me go through all the pain and suffering I felt in May, I'd become too unstable to drive or even move at times. I needed to save it for camping.

"Hmmm," I wonder what to say, I needed to think up an excuse and fast. "I'll tell you during camping."

Skye's back slumps dejectedly, "Awwwwe," she whines at my displeasure. "Why not right now? I'm getting- y'know, worried about you."

"I know, Skye," I bow down to rest my head on her shoulder. "Don't worry about me or anything right now. I'll ruin the mood if I tell you what my nightmare was about and how I felt."

Skye reaches behind her, hesitantly cupping my face as I raise my head, "Okay. But you're telling me as soon as we have time alone."

"Yes, Ma'am."

I look to my right and notice one of the flowers in a vase. An idea snaps into my head, and I pick one of the white flowers out of the vessel.

"Perfect," I smile at myself, gazing at the gorgeous, yet delicate flower. "This might be my greatest idea ever."

Skye hums, completely lost in her own thoughts and in the moment. I braid the white flower into her dark, red hair, grinning even wider at how beautiful she looked.

Skye's head perks up, "What are you putting in my hair?"

I take a second flower and hold it in front of her, letting her inhale the aroma.

"Oh God, that's way too good," Skye hops off my lap, turning on her phone and examining her reflection. "Wow. I gotta say you did a good job."

"Thanks," I take a step towards Skye, and her eyes appear to gleam the closer I got to her," Goddamn, you're beautiful." I relish the moments just gazing at her and berate myself for all the times I had the chance to look at her but didn't.

Skye's cheeks flush bright pink, and she binds her arms tentatively around my waist, "You're... sweet."

I envelop her small body into mine, gently pressing my lips on the top of her head. I savour the warmness of the hug and the fragrance of her hair.

"You think we should go?" I propose, still tightly hugging her.

"It's a bit early," Skye notes, pulling away, still clinging onto my shoulders. "Didn't Marjorie tell us an hour?"

"Yes, but, knowing everyone else," I grab my car remote off the coffee table. "They're actually not ready yet."

Skye looks at me, confused. She scratches her head, "But you told me that we were the last ones."

"I said, I'd load the shit into the car. I didn't answer your question."

"Sorry. So, we're the first ones to get ready?" Skye asks. "By the way, John's asking for a fishing rod."

"Already got extras in the car," I reply, reaching up to stretch. "And yes, we are first. If we go to Thu Thu's right now, we can help the two girls get ready."

"Shouldn't we go to Jolo's first? Y'know, cause' he lives around the corner?"

I grin and pull Skye up onto her feet, rubbing the bottom of her chin, "Good point. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Skye brings her braided hair over her left shoulder, "You'd be an emotional mess."

I scoff, "Hey! You would be one, too."

Skye crosses her arms and laughs, "Maybe."

"You mean, 'yes,' right?"

Skye waves a finger, blushing, "Don't start. Now, c'mon, let's go."

I quietly enter Adrian's room and tell him we were going to leave.

He sees us out as I pull out from the driveway. Skye and I wave, as the garage slowly closes shut. I take a sip directly from the Pom Juice gourd.

"Let me try some of that," Skye orders bravely. "Lance told me not too, but the curiosity is killing me."

I take another long sip before passing it to her silently. She sniffs it and tilts her head, puzzled.

"It doesn't smell like anything," She says to herself and shrugs. "Welp bottoms up."

She leans her head back and takes a big swig. Her nose scrunches, and her forehead wrinkles after swallowing it.

"It's like wine, but with no alcohol," Skye has an unsure look planted on her face. She doesn't know what to make of the Pom Juice. "I can't say I like it or dislike it."

"You got the wine thing right," I reply, looking straight ahead into the horizon. "Close it up."

Skye does so and sinks back in her chair, "Did you make a road trip playlist?"

I shake my head, "No. We might as well listen to the hard rock Queen songs and, upbeat music."

Skye groans, rolling down the window to let the refreshing, morning breeze fill the car, "What upbeat music? It better not be Taylor Swift or One Direction."

I confusedly swing my head to her for a few moments, "So specific. And they don't even have that many upbeat songs, how would you know about them anyway?"

Skye shrugs again as I turned back to face the road, "Radio is a thing. C95 used to play those songs up the ass."

"Okay, then," I let out a long breath and tuned into the radio.

C95 is Saskatoon's radio station, and conveniently, they're announcing what the weather would be like.

_"There is a forty percent chance of rain in the Saskatoon area, and as well as neighbouring towns and parks. Sources tell me the chances of it raining today will increase; however, it will be a short shower. Temperature high today will be twenty-five degrees Celcius. That's all for the weather at the moment, thank you."_

"Damnit," I disappointedly hand Skye my phone. "Connect it to the Bluetooth. We're listening to rain music again."

"Billie Eilish?" Skye scrolls through my playlist.

"Hypocrite," I joke, pinching her thighs gently.

"I am not! Can I not like some slow songs? Billie's songs make me feel calm, y'know?"

"Even the upbeat ones?"

Skye chuckles loudly, to the point where she was blatantly mocking me, "There is no such thing as upbeat Billie songs."

" _'Wish you were gay?'_ " I counter. " _'you should see me in a crown?' 'my boy?' 'Bored?' 'Bellyache?' 'COPYCAT?'"_

Skye thinks hard, coming to a painful realization, "Oh, gosh, I am a hypocrite." She blurts sarcastically. "I said I didn't like cliché love songs and happy songs."

"Same difference," I shrug brightly. "Just play something! The downpour is starting. Close the window."

Skye sighs, "Forty percent my ass."

A familiar tune starts to echo the car. The surround sound system works well with 8D songs, it really seems like we're at a concert, or more accurately, the singer is walking around us while they sing.

"I like this," Skye breathes dazedly. "Songs like these in the rain give off such a great, relaxing mood inside any car, house - yes, even my house, and anywhere else."

I nod in agreement. The droplets of rain repeatedly tap onto the windows of the car, causing a little noise, like a bunch of mice tapping a glass with their nails.

We're nearing Thu Thu's house, and a thundering sound startles me, causing me to nearly swerve into a trash can. I feel a storm brewing.

"You okay?" Skye somehow asks calmly, not even caring how close I was to hitting a garbage can.

I nod anxiously and sense fear stirring up inside me. Suddenly, I feel her tug on my free hand. She strokes it softly, in an attempt to calm me down.

"You'll be okay," She reassures me, still gently rubbing my hand. "We're almost there."

"Do you have songs for the road trip?" I try to distract myself.

"Yeah," Skye answers, blankly. "I have a Spotify playlist. We can take turns with the aux."

"Sounds good," I say, braking at a stop sign. "Is there anyone behind me?"

"Check your mirrors," Skye replies lazily, as she scrolled through her phone.

I look at all three if my mirrors and the coast was clear. I put the car in park and hurry outside. I open one of the passenger doors, and underneath all the messiness of the supplies, I find my vest. I put it on over my sweater for extra warmness and enter the driver's side.

"Phew!" I let out a sigh of relief and shudder. "How can it be this cold in the summer?"

"Maybe because it's raining," Skye starts to play another song, looking like she skipped a few before she landed on this one.

I raise an eyebrow, "Why'd you skip some?"

"No reason," She says apathetically. "It looks like the others are there."

Looking over, Thu Thu and Marjorie were loading the car in their raincoats. I pulled up in front of the lawn and Skye, and I both hopped out of the vehicle.

Thu Thu's POV

"Oh look," I turn to see the CRV pulling up next to the lawn. "Did you get John?"

Andre looks me dead in the eye, with a blank expression, "Fuck."

"I reminded you!" Skye yells, taking a step next to me. "Well, technically, I forgot too. I let you keep driving."

Andre only grins, "You think?"

Marjorie gestures him to go back for John, and he does so. His car makes a u-turn, and it soon disappears in the dark of the rain.

"Isn't Jolo riding with Tagu, though?" Skye wonders, looking up into the clouds and staring at the rain.

I nod, "But Tagu lives so close to me; it would be easier if you guys just got him."

"Where's Tagu right now?" Marjorie asks, loading the last of the stuff in the trunk.

"Should be a couple of minutes," I acknowledge, checking my phone. "We're going to be a few minutes late once we get to Pike Lake."

Skye jeers and crosses her arms, "More like half an hour late, if no one shows up."

I shrug. I glanced at Skye up and down, staring at her beautiful braided hair.

"Skye," I call teasingly. "Nice braid, who did it for you?"

Skye hesitates, "What makes you think Andre did it?"

"I never suggested Andre did it," I smirk at her, biting my lip. "You played yourself."

Her face lights up like a torch; she turns away and shakes her head.

"We don't speak of this," Skye bolts, her back facing me. On the side of her face, I can see a soft smile tugs at her lips, and she desperately tries to stifle it.

I giggle lightly, pointing at her.

"Okay, but us girls have to discuss in a tent later," I giggle, coming up from behind and patting her back.

Ten minutes past by like a second as Marjorie and I loaded our cars.

Soon, all our friends were pouring in. Miguel introduced us to Christie, the girl he was seeing.

She seems nice; we all didn't have a chance to talk to her yet. Until then, we won't know what she was truly like. I'm hoping Miguel snagged a great girl, though.

Lance and Julianna are still scrambling to fit some of Marjorie's stuff into Nick's trailer because of how crowded it got in her car.

Meanwhile, everyone else is handing each other the supplies we all were chosen to take. I'm struggling to give John the tents and taking in everyone else's food.

Skye whistles at us to all calm down, practically shouting at us after.

"Where are Andre and John?" Skye breathes heavily, furrowing her brows.

"Speak of the Devil," Nick gestures towards the boys parking next to the lawn.

Andre and John emerge from the car, John hauling his luggage into Tagu's car and Andre stuffing those small bags of Trail Mix into his pocket.

Skye frustratingly marches up to him, "You made a pit stop? You know we should've left by now."

She eyes John menacingly

"Filipino Time, ever heard of it, Mister Blue-Skye?" John quips.

Skye hops into Andre's car.

She rolls down her window, "That's Miss Blue-Skye to you," Skye points at him, putting on a pair of shades.

"I'm assuming everyone's ready?" Lance urges, stepping forward.

"We should do a roll call," Skye suggests, leaning her elbow on the window of the car.

"Let's start with Andre, then," Miguel clears his throat. "Coal, wood, matches, lighter."

"Check," Andre holds up his thumb and smiles while adjusting his vest.

"Barbeque sticks, plastic utensils, cups and plates."

"Check again!" Andre yells as he and Skye step out of the car. "Let me reorganize, just in case."

Miguel nods solemnly and faces John, "You better have not forgotten anything."

John snickers, "How could you think so little of me?"

He rolls his eyes, "Tents and fishing rods."

"Yup, they're all in Tagu's jeep," John beams.

Skye takes a step next to Miguel, "Andre! Did you get the ukelele and guitar?"

"How could I forget?" He replies, trying to organize the trunk of his car. "I also have extra batteries for the lanterns."

Miguel continues, "Tagu? Swimming gear, pool toys, water guns, and water balloons."

Everyone lets out a giggle, as that wasn't part of the initial plan, we all know Tagu just wants to fuck around on the beach, and possibly get kicked off of it.

"Yes," Tagu coughs. "Introduce us to your girlfriend when we get there, okay, Migs?"

Miguel blushes, shaking his head, "Anyway," He clears his throat. "Do you have the bugspray, sunscreen, cooler with all our 'legal' fluids?"

"Mhm! And the water boiler."

"Julianna, Lance? Sleeping bags? Pillows? Inflatable beds, and blankets?" Miguel turns to them.

They nod, also holding up the electric air pump.

Nick wraps an arm around Miguel, "And I have the hiking gear, guys. No need to worry."

"And I have the trail mix," Andre butts in. "Y'know, cause' it's suitable for trails. That's why it's called- Nevermind."

Skye lets out a tiny giggle, and she soon notices we all are staring at her for laughing at that horrible joke.

"What?" She glares at us. "He's not wrong."

"Thanks," Andre tosses her a bag of trail mix. "That leaves you and Marjorie, Miguel. I'm assuming you have what we asked you for, so let's hit the road."

"I got tarp too," Marjorie adds, her light-hearted voice warming up the warm day. "We can hang it above our tents and tables, just in case it rains."

"It protects the lanterns too," Julianna smiles. "Are we ready to go?"

"Yes," Andre honks his horn as loud as he could. "Yes, we are."

"Never do that again," I tell him, rubbing my forehead. "The neighbours are still asleep! It's only six!"

Andre does it again, "Let's go, gang."

"Fuck you," I shake my fist at him. I twirl to face everyone. "But he's right, let's go."

And just like that, we finally hit the road.


	29. Old Shoes

_Camping: Day 1_  
_6:30 AM_  
_July. 22nd, 2019_

Miguel's POV

"I'm telling you, Miguel!" Christie squeals wistfully. "I'm not good in those situations! This trip is going to be horrible for me."

"No, don't be like that," I reassure her. "You'll be fine; My friends are nice."

Christie had been hesitant about meeting the others. She's similar to Skye, as in, she was never good in groups of people. 

Unlike Skye, however, shes incredibly energetic, talkative, and comes off as really sweet. Skye is sweet too; it's just, she needs to open up to you before she can show her true self.

"I hope so," Christie groans stressfully, her light-hearted British accent bouncing around in the car. "Fancy some tea?"

I shake my head, "Maybe later."

I reach over for her hand and smile, keeping my eyes straight on the road. We were directly behind John and Tagu, and for a brief moment, we could see their arms flailing out of the car.

Christie lets out a laugh; she had such a sweet and blissful laugh, somehow quiet and loud at the same time, "Okay, maybe I was a bit too shy earlier."

"See? They're silly and stupid just like you and me," I reply. "Of course, you get all the stupid from hanging out with me."p

"It rubbed off on me," Christie quips, turning up the song on the radio. "I've never heard this song before."

"It must be new," I hand her the aux cord that isn't plugged in. "Here, go nuts with your music."

In the corner of my eye, I can see a blinding smile forming across her face, "Thanks, Miguel."

"Mhm," I pull her hand close and lightly kiss her palm.

Marjorie's POV

"Where's the poop, Marjorie?"

I nearly drop my phone, caught off guard by how quickly Thu Thu noticed I was hiding something.

"What poop?" I ask, trying to play dumb. "There isn't any poop."

"I'm not going to ask again," She answers, with a low voice.

I hesitantly acknowledge her, "Okay, I was thinking we should set up Tagu and John. I overheard from a conversation earlier this morning that John was planning on kissing Tagu during this week!"

Thu Thu shakes her head, "Just hearing that makes me realize we essentially have motives like a bunch of pre-pubescent eighth graders."

"That's true," I giggle, remembering a time where we were pre-pubescent eighth graders. "Nothing has changed; it seems."

"Who did he tell this info too?" Thu Thu asks, thoughtfully excited.

"Andre," I shriek, jumping in my seat. "But the problem is, we don't know where he plans to do it."

"Quick question," Thu Thu raises a hand and holds up a finger. "Why not set up Andre and Skye, too?"

"They're practically together. I mean, they're clingy as hell with each other, and have slept in the same bed."

"Do they feel like they're together, though? Or are they still taking things 'slow?'"

I wonder, trying to search for an easy answer in my head, "I'll ask Skye."

_Skye, quick question._

_Skye: This better not be a boring_

_How could you think so little of me?_

_Skye: I don't. Just teasing._

_🙄 Anyway, I wanted to ask, are you and Andre are together._

_Skye: no_

_Why?_

_Skye: Cuz_

_cuz what_

After a few more violent taps on my phone, I let out a huge sigh, "She's not replying, all she said was 'no' and 'cause.'"

"She'll come around," Thu Thu reassures me. "If she says no, then it probably hasn't happened yet. She has no reason to lie."

"They're so Goddamn close!" I bellow, putting my feet up on the dashboard. "They're like _this_ close." I pinch my fingers ever so slightly together.

"As I said, they'll come around," Thu Thu wags her finger at me and reaches over to slap my shin. "Feet off the dash."

I pout and lower my legs.

Skye's POV

_"DO YOU FEEL MY HEART BEATING, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"_

I roll my eyes and gag, "I'm dying in here," I gasp for air, strangling myself. "Somebody help. Water! Give me water!"

"Oh, fuck off," Andre laughs. "It's a good song; this is my mom's favourite."

"As much as I love your mom, I don't like this song," I see Andre's expression change, and feel a welling guilt residing in my belly. "Okay, maybe it's a little bit good."

"That's music to my ears," Andre says with a smile, a certain excitement behind his eyes. _"AM I ONLY DREAMING? IS THIS BURNING, AN ETERNAL FLAME!"_

"Pass me the AUX," I reach for the phone, but reluctantly hover my hand over it. "You know what? Fine, we'll finish the song."

"Yay," He cheers dryly, focusing his eyes on the road. "Your dryness is rubbing off on me."

"That ain't bad."

He snickers, "Of course it's not, _Your Dryness._ "

"Nevermind, it's terrible," I chuckle, playfully slapping his shoulder. "I'm going to establish a rule, m'kay?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"No more lovey-dovey songs."

"This isn't even-"

"No excuses!" I unplug the AUX from his phone. "I wanna see if you can manage."

"I wanted to listen to 'Can't Help Falling in Love,'" Andre mopes, scratching his head. "Alright, then. You know, I'll never break a promise."

"Promise?" Confused, I turn to look at the soft look now on his face. "You never promised me anything."

"I did, I think," He reflects for a moment, finally opening his mouth to say something. "I said I'd do anything for you."

It suddenly snaps, I do remember Andre telling me that. I smile, hiding my face.

"You got me there, Cheeseball," I attempt sounding apathetic. "How long till we're there?"

"Soon," He looks on at the road.

I plug in my phone into the AUX, skipping a song on my playlist.

"You skipped another one," Andre catches me off guard. How did he notice?

"Excuse me?"

"You barely even plugged in the cord, and you already skip a song."

"How did you even see me?" I stutter when asking him.

"Just a hunch," He shrugs, his tone suggesting a hint of disbelief.

I feel a droplet of sweat roll down my forehead. The sheer nervousness and fear of someone knowing you're hiding something hit me like a truck.

"Anywho," Andre blurts, hopefully forgetting about it, which gives me a moment of relief. "You're lucky I like 'Panic! at the Disco.'"

"We have to compromise on the music we both like," I scoff. "Unlike a certain someone in this car with us."

"Casper?" Andre briefly glances behind him, a cheesy grin planted on his face. "It's okay; he's a friendly ghost."

"Shut up," I demand, trying to stifle in a laugh. "Ghosts that try to kill you are way cooler."

Instantly, Andre dangerously swerves the car left to right and stabilizes it before he loses total control. I feel the blood in my body drain and sit there, frozen, not knowing what to say.

"What the _fuck?_ " I turn to look at him when I finally find my words. He has a smirk cemented on his face. "What was that for?"

"A ghost tried to kill us," He answers rudely.

"You're so petty, Andre," I take a deep breath, putting a hand over my chest to feel my heartbeat. "Good thing there weren't any cars around us."

"Do you think I'd do that if there were cars around?" Andre counters, scrunching his eyebrows. "We're the caboose, and I can clearly see, there's no one behind us. I'm not that stupid."

I have to admit, when the car was swerving at that speed, there was a sense of thrill and excitement. I haven't felt that since one of the few times my parents actually took Brian and me to the Exhibition or Galaxyland in Edmonton. I have such fond memories of riding rollercoasters because I knew back then, Brian was too much of a pussy to ride them. I always held him against it. That, of course, was when he and I were okay. 

We never totally hated each other; we were still siblings. But when my parents started boosting his ego about being the star quarterback for Holy Cross, his entire personality changed.

Pride changes people; it makes them think they're more important than everyone else. That's why Brian is the way he is; my parents told him that he was the best and that he lived up to their name and that no one could ever tell him otherwise.

He lost my respect; he used to be a smart guy. Not anymore.

"Cool motive," I admit. "Still dangerous."

At the last second, I realize one of my songs were about to end. I quickly unplug the AUX and secure it into his phone.

"That was odd," Andre's eyebrows furrow, he's looking at me in the corner of his eye. "The song barely ended."

"Nothing, nothing's wrong," I panic, trying to find an excuse in my head. "I just felt bad to ban you from listening to some of your songs."

"Great excuse," He huffs, smiling. "Can you play a song called 'Old Shoes.'"

I reluctantly do so, "This better not be- Oh, it's not."

"It kind of is," He mumbles, correcting me. "You like guitar, so you get a guitar."

I roll my eyes, "It isn't breaking our promise, so it's good."

"Good, cause' my friend Gloria gave me this song before I left," Andre replies. "She said it was good, and she wasn't lying."

"She has good taste," I agree, bobbing my head along to some parts of the song.

"It's a road trip song," Andre clears his throat. "She's also in love with you."

 _"With me?"_ I inquire, confused. "She's never met me."

Andre sits in silence for a moment, narrowly trying to avoid eye contact through his peripheral vision.

"Hey! Macatangay!"

"Yeah?"

"How does she know me?"

Still no answer. It's evident that Andre is hiding something, I can tell, the tables have turned. His face turns red, and he begins to bite his lip to hold in his laugh.

"Uh," He stammers. "I've talked about you? and..."

"And??" I tilt my head. "What else?"

"I've shown her a picture of you," Andre giggles nervously. "I'm sorry."

"What?" Nevermind, the panic came back. "WHY? ANDRE. WHY?"

"I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU!"

"What did you say?? WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"

Demand after demand, all he did was respond with a stutter. His fingers are shuddering on his steering wheel; I half-expected him to start swerving again.

"I-" He swallows hard, answering me shakily. "I was talking about how much-"

"-How much you what?"

It suddenly hit me with the realization that he was talking to this Gloria, about how much he liked me. 

"Oh. You were talking about your crush on me."

"DUDE! OH MY GOD!" Andre points behind me, still laughing his ass off. "A DEER!"

"Don't change the subject," I scream out in anger, mostly because he isn't taking me seriously. "Tell me what else you said! Other than your big crush on me."

I tease him playfully, which causes a reaction of Andre turning the volume to full blast. I didn't mind. The song he was playing was excellent. 

Thanks, Gloria, from Skye.

Honestly, at first, I was scared. The last time people talked about me without my recollection, was when I was with those few people, I used to consider friends. And the things they said weren't exactly family-friendly. So, when Andre mentioned he talked about me behind my back, my gut reaction was a defensive one. I was so afraid that one of the people I began to trust with all my heart was hurting me, and the worst part was, I didn't even know I was getting hurt. That's how it felt last time too.

When I did realize that he was talking about how much he liked me, it opened my eyes again. Even if someone does talk behind your back, they aren't saying entirely bad things. I haven't felt this good about myself since our first slow dance. I glanced over to see his glinting, innocent eyes, reminding me of how Andre would never do or say anything to hurt me. I trusted him.

I understand why he didn't make mention of this, though. He does have a crush on me, yes, and I wish I could tell him the same, but I just can't. Something is holding me back from it. There's a force pulling me away from what I want. I'm afraid that somehow, someway, he'll reject me. Even with all his lovely gestures, how hard he tries for someone like me, and how obvious he's making it, not to mention how obvious I'm making it, something is telling me, "he's going to reject you, don't even try."

I wish he would tell me that he knew about how I felt about him; however, that's not how it works. Knowing Andre, I think he doesn't have the same fear that I do, he just wants to hear it from my lips, so he knows it's true, and not something he made up in his head.

I feel a sudden force hit my face. The cold air prompts me to shiver, as the sound of the wind lulls me out of my thoughts.

"It's starting to get sunnier!" Andre yells, trying to talk over the wind.

I take a sniff and feel a sudden headrush, "Your hair smells like gushers."

"Thanks?" Andre leaves his fingers on the switches, and the windows slowly start to shut.

My eyebrows curl, "You sound confused."

Andre laughs, "Gushers?"

I embarrassingly hide my face, even though he isn't looking at me, "It was the first thing to come to mind."

"If that's the case," Andre clears his throat dramatically. "Your hair smells like blueberries."

"I get that a lot," I reply. "By a lot, I mean, Marjorie reminds me 24/7."

I look towards the road, noticing the traffic in front of us.

Andre slowly presses onto the break, "Welp, we're almost in. It'll just take a while, I suppose."

He puts the car into park, and I feel his eyes close in on me. I look over at him, "I love this song!"

"What is it called?" Andre asks, adjusting his vest around him.

" _Medicine by Bring me the Horizon,"_ I bob my head back and forth to the beat.

"It's good," He says with a smile.

Andre's POV

Ten minutes pass by. We're still in the line for admission inside Pike Lake, and I just got word that the gate wouldn't open. 

Though it's only our group in the line, we were way off schedule now. All we need to do is show our copies of the receipt. We already paid for admission, and unfortunately, there is no fast pass lane.

I see Skye abruptly skip another song. She's been doing this the entire time, and at first, it never came to my attention, but now, I'm concerned. Was she hiding something from me?

"Hey, Bub."

"Hm?" Skye casually drops her phone back into the cupholder.

"Why do you keep skipping songs?"

"Nothing."

"You sure?" I try reaching for the skip button on the radio, only to have my hand knocked away by Skye. I stare at her in utter disbelief. "What the hell? What was that for?"

"Nothing," Skye repeats herself. "Just forget about it, please."

My curiosity is getting the best of me, and I start trying to find other ways to skip the song one back. I grabbed at her phone, but Skye beat me to it, swiping her phone away before I could even land a hand on it.

"Andre, stop."

"But-"

"Nope, forget about it," Skye demands, defensively holding her phone close to her sides.

I sigh, deceiving her in thinking I had given up. I poke gently at her sides, suddenly tickling her.

"ANDRE MACATANGAY!" She laughs loudly, squirming to get away from my hands. "STOP, STOP, STOP."

Her eyes close in her fit of laughter, and luckily for me, her phone slips away from her hands. I clutch her phone and stretch my arm as far away as possible. I let go of her sides, and once she realizes what I had taken, she lunges at me.

"Andre, PLEASE DON'T LOOK THROUGH IT," Skye pleads, holding onto my thighs as she tried to use her small arms to reach for her phone. "ANDRE!"

I ignore her adorable cries, as hard as it is to do so and skip a song back. 

She is persistent, however, still reaching for her phone as the song she had skipped started playing. I hold it farther than her tiny arms could reach.

Holy shit.

It's _Taylor Swift's Blank Space._ Skye begs for me to stop. I stare at her in shock. 

Skye? Taylor Swift? No match, not even in Heaven. I keep skipping through the music, and I can recognize more than twelve Taylor Swift songs. I sing loudly over her screaming and thrashing, her nails nearly clawing me on the face.

"MACATANGAY, I SWEAR TO **FUCKING** GOD," She threatens, her face red from embarrassment and irritation, which honestly makes me take her less seriously than I should have. "STOP."

I stop singing, quickly glancing over at Skye, "Hey, that's dangerous. You should probably put your feet back on the ground."

Skye had tucked her knees against her chest, hiding her face.

"Fuck you," She turns away from me sharply, her words piercing at me coldly.

I briskly hover my hand over the radio, "I can turn it off now."

"No! It's fine," Skye shakes her head. "We can't do anything about it now."

Her eyes shimmer, and at first, I assume she's going to cry. A wave of relief washes over me, it's just the morning sun reflecting off of her dark blue eyes, so I shrug it off. 

I lazily pat her back, "It's okay, Skye-with-an-e."

"Now you know my secret," Skye mumbles from her lowered head. "It's a guilty pleasure. I didn't want you to find out."

"Why?" I raise the armrest and shift my body to face her. "I don't mind, T-Swift."

"I had a reputation to keep, Andre," Her black-painted lips purses, and she pushes her braid over her left shoulder.

I unsteadily muster up a tiny smile, "Let's see what else you have in here, Elsa."

"Oh, God," She covers her face in distress. "Fine, go ahead.

I clap in delight, playing a song by One Direction next.

"I'm going."

"Where? You're in a car-"

"I'm jumping out of the car once we hit the road again."

"Skye, no," I slip my fingers through hers and kiss her hand gently. The smell of her perfume floods my senses, distracting me from the cars in front of me disappearing.

A loud horn blares from behind us, which startles both Skye and me I step on the gas pedal, stopping sloppily at the gate.

"Here's my receipt, ma'am. Sorry about the hold-up," I suck in my bottom lip and politely give her my receipt. "I'm with the people that just left the gate."

The lady gives me no words, and opens the gate, gesturing me to go. I feel awful; I must have held the people behind me off schedule, too.

"Hey, don't feel bad," Skye tells me softly.

I roll down the windows and begin singing at the top of my lungs. Skye lets out an adorable laugh and sings along with me. I glance at Skye, her eyes closed, and her head bobbing back and forth excitedly to the music.

"This was our Grade 8 Graduation song!" I yell over the wind blasting us through the window

"Yeah?"

"Don't be embarrassed!" I roll up the window and fix my hair. "I like One Direction, too. Y'know, when they were still together."

"Like I said," Skye pants. "Guilty-pleasures. I listen to these songs ironically."

"I smell something."

"What? Is it my perfume again? Did I put too much?"

"No, I smell bullshit. You like these songs."

"I'm not speaking to you."

I skip through her One Direction songs until I hit 'Night Changes.' I commence singing again, this time, louder than before. This is admittedly one of my favourite songs.

"I'm not speaking-" Skye huffs, covering her ears. "-To you."

Maybe, half an hour of not speaking (yes, she actually didn't talk to me), it was starting to feel incredibly hot inside the car. 

I take my eyes off the road for a second to look at Skye's window and see the sun and its sweltering hot rays hitting the window and Skye's lap.

"Are you feeling warm?"

She doesn't talk. Wow, she took that very personally.

"Skye," I call again. "Ugh, if you want an apology, I apologize."

Still, no answer.

I shake my head, "I'm taking off my vest."

"No! Don't!" She extends an arm onto my shoulder. "Don't take off the vest."

"May I ask, why?" A smirk tugs at the corner of my lips, letting go of my vest. "This is Dale's, and he dropped it off while we were remaking Bohemian Rhapsody, remember? Before everyone else came that day."

"It's just; you should've been wearing that more often since you got it. So don't take it off." Skye stutters dreamily, eyeing me up and down, her cheeks becoming rosier. "It certainly suits you, especially with that sweater underneath... That's all."

I try my best to shrug off the shyness radiating off of Skye, no matter how cute and irresistible it is. She reeks of adorable embarrassment; it's making my hands shake, I almost think I might swerve off the road. 

"I'll keep that in mind, Skye-With-An-E."

"Thanks." She smiles, leaning her head back and falling asleep.

I wish I could pull over to the side, cover her in a blanket, and start driving again. I bet if I were even ten minutes off schedule, the others would be mad at me; I'd still have to look for the blanket inside the mess of the trunk. 

Sure, it is hot outside, but the car's air conditioning is cooling the vehicle significantly. I sigh and do it anyway. 

I have a promise to keep to her.

Marjorie's POV

We park the car at the designated parking area, which thankfully, is near our large campsite. The yellow sun is up in the sky, the light almost blindingly bright, even if you look down.

"Where are Andre and Skye?" Tagu calls, closing the car door. "Call 'em, Marjorie."

I did, only to be sent to Andre's voicemail. I put it on speaker before everyone can miss it.

 _"Andre the Banana!"_ The phone resonates, before the familiar tone rung.

"God, he should change that," John bites his lip, keeping in a laugh. "When did he make that, like, freshmen year?"

"Yes, yes, he did," I suck in my breath and cross my arms. "Speak of the Devil, here they come."

Andre's car pulls up next to ours, and he rolls down the window.

"It's Britney, bitch." A song floods out of the car, _Just Dance by Lady Gaga._

We all burst out laughing.

"That's not even the right song!" Thu Thu's silky laugh bursts out of her.

"I know," He claims, calmly. "It's an Office reference, remember? When Michael Scott pulled up-" He sighs- "Nevermind."

I glance past Andre's head, my eyes widening in disbelief, "Guys."

"Hmm?" John stands beside me. "What is it?"

"Remember our Grade 8 year," I gulp, still looking on incredulously.

"Yeah, why? You weren't even there with us," He jokes childishly.

I slap his arm, "No! Like, Grade 8 year, we always Skyped. The seven of us."

John rubs his chin, "Yeah, what about it? And there were eight of us, remember?"

I point across the dirt road, into a path outlined by trees. 

"There's the eighth."

He tilts his head and squints, confused as hell. John glances to where I pointed sharply, shoot his head back to face me, covering his mouth. His eyes are wider than saucers.

"Holy fuck!" He shouts, gathering the attention of the others.

Lance and Julianna already catch who we were gawking at in the distance. Marjorie and Miguel catch on as well. Thu Thu only just got out of the car, gaping at all of us.

"What are you guys staring at?" She urges, curling her lips.

Tagu faces her, peering over her shoulder, "More like who we're staring at."

Thu Thu slowly takes off her shades, mouthing, "What the fuck," before stumbling back.

We all went to different schools in Grade 8, but our connection was still there through Skype and hangouts. Before Indigo, Andre's ex-girlfriend, there was another that was always with us, someone that was so similar to him, that if one of them were gone, the other's presence would still be there through them. They were two peas in a pod.

Skye notices everybody looking at the general direction, "Please don't compliment my hair; you already did that." No reply; we're just too surprised and confused all at the same time.

"Hey, Skye," Andre grins gratefully, his lips turning into a frown, after observing our faces. "What's gotten into all of you? I was only a couple minutes late."

Skye taps his shoulder, "I think they're staring at- Oh my God! Someone has the same hair colour as me! Look! Look! Redhead!"

Andre laughs casually, "Okay, you're scaring me. I've never seen you that excited," he pokes her forehead. "Now, where is the other 'redhead?'"

Poor Skye, she doesn't know who that is, but she's about to find out who.

"Wait, you said another redhead, yes?" He begins to realize, hesitantly shuddering out the words.

"Yes," Skye nods, noticing Andre's face slowly distorting into confusion. "Why? What's wrong?"

His face drops, and I feel his heart sink as his head glances back around. His back is now facing me, his breathing staggered and uncertain.

"Andre?" Skye tries to reach for him, only for him to walk away farther from her. "Andre."

"Man, are you okay?" Lance tries to grab his hand, quickly being shrugged off.

"Who is that anyway?" Skye panics at me, tugging my shirt. "Marjorie, answer. Now."

I don't look at her directly, feeling guilty that Andre never told her more about his past. Well, past relationships, before the incident.

With a heavy heart, I swallow hard, "That's Andre's first girlfriend, the first girl he ever loved."

Skye only stands there, looking down, seeming like her world shattered into a thousand pieces, "I thought he's only had one ex, I-"

"We never said only one, Skye," I hug her tightly. She stiffens but hugs me back reluctantly. "It's okay. They were over a long time ago."

Skye doesn't say a word, only asked a heartbreaking yet straightforward question.

"What's her name? Her full name?"

I rub the back of my warm neck, avoiding all eye contact with her.

"Quinn Erin Kelly."


	30. Angel of the Morning

_Camping: Day 1_  
_8:00 AM_  
_July. 22nd, 2019_

Andre's POV

I begin rubbing my eyes in disbelief, even taking off my glasses to see if they're lying to me. They weren't, and I had to handle this unlikely reunion.

Behind her, the sun casts a wave of heat among the trees, but somehow Quinn is the only one as clear as the blue carpet above us.

Quinn's eyes lock with mine, and her face immediately sinks, her eyes twinkling uncontrollably. They widen in a state of shock; she even rubs them as I did, to check if she saw correctly.

The oak and spruce trees with the greenest leaves behind her couldn't overpower the shine of her velvety, yet fluffy red hair.

"A- Andre?" Quinn's light-hearted, melodious voice echoes in my ear, just how I remembered it.

We tread towards each other; I can tell we're both nervous to even keep going. If you knew Quinn or me, we didn't stop and turn back; we continue moving forward. Of course, in my case, I'm doing a shitty job trying to move on.

"Quinn, it's me," I try making a joke, as I always would during awkward or frightening moments. Unfortunately, I lost my voice and couldn't crack a joke, or even muster up the courage to smile at her. "Quinn, I-"

Her hands cover my mouth, and she looks up at me, not a trace of nervousness on her face. She only wears this courageous and confident expression; her lips tugging into a wide smile.

"How have you been? I missed you," Her arms wrap around my body so suddenly. I stiffen up, hesitating to hug her back. "Come on, Bub, don't be shy."

I hug her back, leaning my cheek on her hair, "I missed you too."

We let go of each other. I'm so confused. I didn't know how to react, and to be honest, I'm scared. I haven't seen Quinn since eighth grade, and the last time I saw her was so painful for me, even though we ended on good terms. I never got over that day, but I always told myself to do what Quinn would have done, and that was, moving on. And I did, or so I thought until now.

She leans in and kisses me softly on my cheek, "I'm sorry."

Her kiss catches me off guard, almost making me collapse from the headrush.

"For?"

"I left and didn't tell you why. I just told you 'good-bye,'" Quinn beams with a hint of guilt in her voice, her eyes barely matching the grin on her lips. "But, you guys are over that. Right?"

I sigh heavily, "Totally. Real subtle, Quinn."

Quinn keeps smiling her bright smile, and hugs me so tight, just as she did it before. This time I return the embrace, nuzzling my face in her hair.

That's precisely what she did. One day, we were out with the others, and once the day was coming to a close, she stopped all of us from leaving and told us to listen. Quinn told us she was moving. The others were devastated, and I was especially.

I let go of her. We stand, awkwardly staring at each other, "So, when did you move back?"

"This year, in June," Quinn answers smoothly, to my surprise. "I was going to tell you guys, but we cut off contact."

"Did you at least try?" I ask frigidly.

I notice her blue eyes shimmer just as they did before.

"I was too nervous. I'm glad you haven't changed," She replies, still holding onto my shoulders.

"What do you mean by that?"

Quinn grins and clears her throat, jumping onto me, forcing me to carry her, and snaking her arms around my neck, "Because you wouldn't drop me right now, and you did hug me twice. That means you're not mad!"

"How do you know I'm not just acting nice?" I counter, holding onto her with unstable arms. She is right; I wouldn't drop her even if I wanted too.

Quinn hums, "I know you, Andre Macatangay. People don't change. Their habits do."

I roll my eyes, "Always so wise. You haven't changed either."

"Why would I change? I don't gotta please anyone," Quinn smirks and bites her lip cheerfully.

"Mhm, you don't."

She drapes an arm around my stomach and flashes me a playful look, "I pleased you, didn't I?" She bats her eyes at me, winking at me enticingly.

My face flushes in warmness; it rushes me so suddenly, "Very funny, now get off," I puff, my legs wobbling from trying to keep balance. "My back is gonna strain."

She gasps, sounding half-offended, "Are you calling me fat?"

I fumble my words, "No! God, no. I'm just tired from carrying that shit behind us and driving."

"Uh-huh," Quinn playfully pokes my nose. "Silly Goose, I'm just being petty."

"You always liked messing with me, huh?"

"Like you said," She lies her chin on my shoulder. "I haven't changed."

What a jokester. Quinn was not fat by any means; she was barely chubby, but not thin either. She had red hair, hers was lighter than Skye's, and certainly a bit longer than Skye's as well. Her blue eyes were a lighter colour as well. Although, she would always go crazy over these green contacts that made her looked possessed, which I loved before.

Right now, she wore a white flannel, tied up, showing her midriff and also has blue short shorts on.

From what I can tell, Quinn hasn't changed. I can feel the thirst for adventure shining around her, that appreciation for life and people was blooming everywhere she went. She's always so open-minded and kind to everyone she meets. Wherever she went, it's always with a smile.

I place Quinn down gently, waiting for her feet to touch the ground before completely letting go of her. All the moments I cherished and put away were all coming back to me in an instant; _fuck; it_ was overwhelming.

For a moment, the skies are calm; the sun is shining. Everything is peaceful. Little did we know, there's a storm brewing, and it, no, she is right behind us.

"QUINN ERIN KELLY, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE," Thu Thu's feathery voice angrily screams. "COME HERE NOW!"

"Is that-"

"Yup, you might want to run," I chuckle, letting her hide behind me. "I hope she still ain't mad at you for leaving."

"She sounds mad! How could you ask that?"

Thu Thu comes to a halt in front of me, gesturing me to move out of the way, "I'll drop your ass."

"You can't," I stick my tongue out. "But since you asked _so nicely, I will."_

Quinn yelps as I move out of the way, stepping back two steps. She giggles nervously, buckling her knees and hiding behind me, "Thu Thu! What a surprise!"

"Don't play around! You decide to visit Saskatoon, and not once did you ever try calling us?"

"I was going too! I swear! I was just nervous, I didn't know how to contact you all ever since I left," Quinn defends, waving her hands in front of her.

Thu Thu's nostrils flare, "Doesn't matter! You know how we are! We would've taken you back! We- Fuck, we missed you!"

Quinn giggles nervously, shielding her mouth, "Correction, by the way... Uh, I'm not visiting, I moved back in June."

The other girl's eyes dilate, her blood seeming to boil the longer she looks at us.

"Are you _fucking_ kidding me?"

Thu Thu instigates her loudly, Quinn running circles around her to avoid her wrath.

I glance back at the others and meet Skye's gaze. She was trudging slowly behind the others. Her eyes were dark and dejected as if all the life in her had gone away. I warily approach her.

"Hey, Bub," I wave, beaming. "Do you wanna meet Quinn?"

Everybody is already bombarding her with questions and complaints as to why she left. Quinn looks unusually uncomfortable, even though deep down inside, she probably feels ecstatic to see everyone again.

"I suppose," Skye sighs, uncrossing her arms. "Who is she anyway?"

I lift my chin and stroll along beside her, "My ex."

"And did you ever plan on telling me there was another one?" Skye tries to hide the frustration in her voice. "Sorry."

"Don't be," I reassure her, rubbing my hands together.

I feel wrong that I didn't tell her in the first place that there was another, my first.

"Honestly, I didn't think I needed too," I hesitantly admit. "I thought about it, but there was never a good time to bring it up."

Skye doesn't respond.

"Skye?"

"Hm?"

"Are you okay?" I snuggle up closer to her and caress her arm. My touch makes her stiffen, her arm feeling very tense. Something's wrong. "I know something's wrong."

Skye shakes her head, "Maybe we'll talk after, your little reunion, sound good?" She says with sarcasm so great; I feel sorry for anyone whoever had to hear it.

"We can talk about it right now," I argue, looking down at her.

"Nah, it's fine. Don't interrogate me."

I don't want to continue questioning her to ease her subtle annoyance at me, but whatever is bothering her is, bothering me. I'm worried, unsurprisingly.

I have to shrug it off. As much as I want to deal with it right now, I know Skye's thick defensive shell wouldn't let me in until I or someone finally got to her. That moment would not be soon, so I stood my ground and decided to wait.

"Where did you go?" John keeps asking, stammering his words.

"I'm still not telling you, Jolo," Quinn sticks her tongue out.

"C'mon! That was like, what? Four years ago? Spill the tea!" He pleads, grabbing hold of his phone and giving it to her. "Your number, now. I promise if you tell me over the phone, I won't tell anyone else."

"Are you kidding me? You're throwing us aside for something we all need to know?" Marjorie threatens John with a raised fist.

"Yes!" John waves Marjorie away, only to be met by a smack on the back of his neck. He winces while glancing back at Quinn. "Fuck... C'mon, Quinn! I promised!"

Quinn shifts awkwardly, rocking on her heels for a moment. "Careful, John," She says sweetly. "Don't make a girl promises you can't keep."

"What do you mean? I told you-"

"You all will find out eventually, that's why you can't keep that promise," She shushes him abruptly, biting her lip innocently. "If you knew, and the time comes where I have to tell everyone, I'd make you do it."

John pushes his glasses and sways uncomfortably, "Ugh, fine."

"Hey!" Julianna loses herself in the excitement. "So, you will tell us?"

Quinn sighs, hiding her frustrations with a soft, but tight smile, "Yes, Jyanna, I will. But today is not that day. So, let it go."

John confidently puts an arm around her, "If you tell me now, I'll bake you your favourite cookies."

"Nope," Quinn rejects him with glorious fashion, flipping her hair. "Even though I haven't had those cookies in so long, I can bake them twenty-times better than you."

Skye and I come up behind them, my arm still around her, "Quinn! There are two new people here you haven't met."

Quinn attentively stirs her attention at me and smiles gently, standing with one knee bent and her body slightly leaning back.

"This is Christie," I point to the Brit, shyly hiding behind Miguel. "We still have to get to know her, too. Miguel hasn't brought her around us that much."

Miguel scoffs, "Yeah, because we only started dating."

"Hello," Christe softly greets her, rubbing Miguel's back. "Uh, excuse me, I mean, good day! Sorry!"

Quinn always hugs people as a greeting, and Christie surprisingly accepted it, in spite of her shyness.

"My name is Quinn," She parts from the hug, sliding her free arm over Christie's shoulders. "And I _love_ your accent!"

Christie thankfully grins at her, "Why, thank you,"

"You're very pretty too. Nice catch, Miguel."

"Glad to see you, too," He pats her shoulder affectionately. "Such a short greeting for someone who helped you build a computer."

Quinn raises an eyebrow and mocks, "I did most of the work!"

"Keyword, 'helped,'" Miguel retorts, laughing.

"Whatever," Quinn bursts into a small fit of soft giggles.

"And this is Skye. She's a redhead, like you!" I keep my arm around her, massaging the braided hair over her shoulder.

"The sky? The sky is blue, Andre-"

"No! The person right here!" I cringe, gesturing at Skye. "I really hope that was a joke."

"Ah! She was short! No wonder I couldn't see her," Quinn squeals. Yup, she thought I was referring to the sky. How classic. "Holy crap! I haven't seen a redhead this good looking other than me!"

I huff, shaking my head and peering down at Skye, "I got my ego from her too."

"Not, ego! Confidence!" Quinn snickers, relaxing her hands on our shoulders. "I'm Quinn!"

Skye smiles, though it's noticeably forced, like a smile you'd give to a cameraman on picture day. For Skye, meeting new people was a burden on her very existence, she hates it.

"Skye."

Quinn hugs her, and Skye, of course, stiffens, holding her arms against her sides.

"Okay, I lied," Quinn pulling away from her. "You're the prettiest redhead I've seen. Like, look at that lipstick! It suits you so well!"

Skye briefly raises her eyebrows at Quinn, still not saying a word.

"Are you a goth?" Quinn excitedly takes her side, looking like a little kid next to her hero. "Pfft, what kind of question is that you are! I just got confused 'cause of your braided hair."

Skye nods, being wary of Quinn being so close to her. She's definitely uncomfortable, but I know she's too nice to say it.

Quinn babbles on and on about how pretty Christie and Skye were, she just loves to butter people up, and sure, you feel uncomfortable about it at first. But after not hearing those compliments over a long period of time, you begin to miss them, and we sure missed it a great deal.

"I actually got her that bracelet and necklace," I say, informing Quinn, who's eyes are fixated on the two accessories. "It was Nanay's, but she passed on some of her old stuff to Adrian and me. So, I decided to give Skye those two things as a gift."

In the corner of my eye, Skye is lit up like a lamp and poorly hiding the smile plastered across her face.

Quinn sucks in her breath, "Andre never gave me stuff like that! Feel grateful."

I squint, "I got you plenty of gifts! I'm pretty sure I spoiled you rotten!"

"Nuh-uh! You only got me food and stuffed toys!"

"Yes! Because back in eighth-grade, money came fast like it was falling off of the trees!"

"THEY COME FROM TREES!"

"CANADIAN MONEY IS PLASTIC! ARE YOU OKAY?"

Finally, after bickering like children for what feels like an eternity, Skye coughs, gaining our awareness of her presence.

"Did you get that from Andre or vice versa?" Skye asks curiously."He calls everyone 'Bub' all the time."

"Oh, he got that from me," Quinn answers pridefully, slyly grinning my way. "My habits rubbed off on him."

Skye smiles awkwardly, returning to a neutral face. We never know what she's thinking or how she feels when she wears that look.

Most of the time, Skye is okay, but I know there's something wrong, especially after our little argument earlier.

"Wow, nice catch, Andre! This one's a keeper for sure." Quinn modestly gazes at Skye.

Skye's mouth gapes open, her face gleaming bright pink. She looks down and shields herself.

"Uh, Quinn," I call, sputtering. "We aren't dating."

"Oh! I'm sorry," Quinn laughs softly. "Do you guys like each other?"

We both don't answer. I rub my forehead, trying to cover up the blush streaming across my face.

"Tell me!" Quinn claps and cheers. "I'll find out eventually!"

The anxiety sets in, "That's always the plan with you, Kelly."

Quinn turns to Skye. Oh, God bless her soul.

"Skye? Can I ask you more questions? Are you-"

"Don't interrogate her," I stop Quinn, feeling Skye's eyes on my face. "She's uh, defensive."

"I am not defensive," Skye sharply glares at me, crossing her arms and looking away.

"My bad," Quinn shrugs, still smiling. "Where's Nick?"

"Taking a piss," Lance points to the washrooms. "Great to see you, by the way. It's like you already forgot I was here."

"Well, it's because I thought I'd never get a peep from you," Quinn reaches out and embraces Lance tightly. "Did you ever get with Julianna?"

As loud-mouthed as she is, she's thankfully well aware of it. And she never holds back.

Quinn never holds back, to her, if she had something to say, she'd always be passionate about it no matter what. She never used her words to hurt or treat anybody poorly; she's overall, just a sweet person.

Some people got annoyed. Ultimately, we got used to it because it was honestly the best she did, no matter what she said, it helped us and made us smile.

Her honesty was always much appreciated.

"Yes, I got with Julianna."

Lance lifts his hand high in the sky, interlocking with Julianna's.

She cheers again, this time even louder, "Oh, thank God! I thought you'd never pull the trigger."

"Hey, man, I did learn from the best," Lance high fives her, laughing and smiling along.

Nick bellows words from afar, "QUINN! QUINN! QUINN!"

We all glance behind us, seeing him run like hell to get to us. He stumbles on his own foot, almost losing balance.

"There he is," Marjorie announces, glancing behind her. "How do you know, Nick?"

"During Elementary school basketball and volleyball games, Nick, John, and Andre would sometimes have games at my school," Quinn explains giddily. "Nick always teased Andre and me back then."

All of us had a great talk, reminiscing about our days as kids and angsty pre-teens. We made our way to the campsite and began set-up. Of course, everybody was messing around, poking each other with the tent poles, and not getting any work done.

Nick cackles, "I'm already set-up, bitches!"

"It's because you have a bloody camper! Now help us!" Christie barks, startling all of us as she was very well-behaved and quiet after arriving.

Nick's mouth gapes open, "Shit, okay, I'm coming."

However, amidst all the goofy and immature happenings, Skye is tenacious, already finishing setting up her medium-sized tent. "All done," She comes up behind me.

"Great job," I praise her, knocking her shoulder gently. "Wanna help me out before Jolo destroys something?"

Skye sneers, looking over at the others messing up their tent set up, "I guess. Let's help them after."

"Quinn got it, she's good," I peer over my shoulder, and unsurprisingly, Quinn is playing around too. "Alrighty, then, we have to help them after."

Skye snickers, "Hurry and get those pegs in the ground, this tent is huge."

We begin working swiftly, only taking about five minutes to assemble the giant tent. I loop an arm around Skye, lightly tapping the top of her head with my lips. Her cheeks glow in a tinge of pink.

"Andre..." Skye mumbles, hiding her face in my arm.

A funny feeling in my stomach felt like it was about to burst out. Hearing Skye say my name the way she did was music to my ears, her voice sounded slightly embarrassed, somehow sounding satisfied at the same time. Must be those damned butterflies.

Skye suddenly leans up and kisses underneath my chin. My heart leaps into my throat; she totally caught me by surprise.

"Oh!" My voice cracks. "Thanks?"

"God, you get so awkward when I do that," Skye points out, kissing me again. "Like, your voice cracks every time you feel jittery."

"And you turn into a tomato every time YOU feel jittery."

Skye scrunches her nose, "Ah, shut up."

Her pronunciation of my last name improved significantly; she's nailing the accent. When she first tried to say it, it twisted her tongue so bad; she stuttered for a minute straight.

"Your accent is getting better," I tell her proudly.

Skye gasps sarcastically, "It is? I haven't noticed."

I peck her forehead, knowing that it would shut her up for sure. "Gotcha."

She rolls her eyes, not knowing how to reply, "Whatever."

"Hey! Lovebirds!" Thu Thu calls, panting, sweat dripping from her forehead. "You two mind helping us?"

"Nope," I taunt her. "We're staying right here."

"We are?"

"No, why would we? We're too nice."

Skye crackles, holding a straight face, "You mean, you are."

"Let's face it, Skye, you're nicer than all of us combined, you even told us," I lightly tap her calf with my foot.

"Did I? I can't remember," She jokes, playfully poking my jaw. As she walks away, she turns around. "Before I go help them, I have to admit; you're good at cheering people up when they're upset."

A smile forms across my face, "So, it did work?"

Skye shrugs, furrowing her eyebrows, "I guess we'll never know. And sorry in advance for undoing the braid you did on my hair."

I tilt my head confused, "You still have it."

Skye instantaneously undid her braid, "Oops."

I puff, holding onto my chest, "My.. heart.."

"Oh, fuck off," Skye beams, her white teeth shimmering. "C'mon."

Skye and I race towards the others, nearly tripping over ourselves. Their tents are scattered everywhere, looking like a pile of dirty clothes.

"Jesus, guys," I curse. "You guys need some serious help."

Quinn coughs, fluffing up her hair and putting her arms at her sides, "It's okay; this is an easy fix."

"You said that five times," John mutters, trying to salvage the tents from the dampened dirt. "Good thing it ain't dirty."

Tagu huffs, "Y'all, let's hurry. I wanna do shit around here, too."

"Guys! Just shut up and help me out," Skye yells out in the crowd. "It's sweltering out here. I think I'm gonna have to break a rule."

"Rule? What rule?" Tagu asks, her voice staggered and uneasy.

Skye stretches her arms up before reaching for the bottom of her shirt and pulling it overtop her head.

Unfortunately, and fortunately, Skye is wearing a tank top underneath. Otherwise, I would've been all over her. Either falling on her from passing out, or flirting with her, or both.

God, it's still distracting to work while Skye looked like _that._ She's _fucking_ gorgeous _._ The only other times I've seen Skye wear a tank top was at my house when she slept over, and the same feeling is overpowering me. The bright morning sun casts a perfect spotlight on her as she lets her hair flow in the warm air before running a hand through it.

Everyone is in a state of shock, and no one has seen Skye wear something as tiny as a tank top; she's practically naked to them. Quinn and Christie are the only two who's confused.

"What is happening?" Christie questions, looking at Quinn.

"I don't know, girl," Quinn shrugs, a confused smile tugging on her lips. "I think because Skye is wearing a tank-top?"

Marjorie clears her throat, "I've seen Skye with a tank-top, but it was a lasagna strap, not _that_ thin."

Skye notices all of the eyes on her, and gets up from the ground, "Can I help you guys? Or you know, can you all help me instead? This is tiring."

Marjorie stutters, "Uh, we just haven't seen you wear a tank top before, that's all."

Skye shakes her head in disappointment, squinting at us, "Boys. Eyes up, now."

John shoots head up into the sky, and Miguel minds his own business, actually trying to help Skye. Nick makes up an excuse to go back inside his camper but was only troubled by how uncomfortable it got. Lance and Julianna are also trying to help Skye but are just as shocked.

Christie claps, gaining our attention, "Do you all want some potato chips? I can get some in one of the picnic baskets."

"Chips as in, real chips?" I stupidly ask.

Christie softly giggles, "Silly; I said potato chips."

I couldn't even get mad at myself. Hearing Christie's bomb-ass accent is a blessing, "Thanks, Christie, but I think we're fine for now."

The brunette flashes us a smile and leans in to help Miguel with their tent.

"Fuck!" Someone from behind us. "I forgot my tent!"

We all twirl to see Thu Thu frustratingly trudging to the park table at our campsite. Skye, Marjorie, Quinn, and Julianna approached her.

"You can sleep in my tent, it's fine," Marjorie quickly offers generously. "It might be a bit cramped though, it's meant for one person."

Thu Thu sighs deeply, a frustrated expression coated on her face, "It's okay; I can just get one at the Co-Op we passed by. It'll only be a half-hour drive."

"Lance and I can squeeze you in, you really don't have to do that," Julianna suggests, sitting beside her. "It'll be fine."

"I don't think I wanna ruin your guys' cuddle time," Thu Thu lets out a deep and unsteady breath, still looking dejected. "Or y'know, your _unholy_ sessions."

"I feel like it's more _holey,_ " I quip, laughing uncontrollably. "Get it, 'cause you stick shit into holes, and-"

"WE GET IT, ANDRE!" Thu Thu screams, interrupting my joke and slapping me across the face.

A jolt of pain sweeps my cheek, "I deserved that, eh?"

The five girls nod, smirking at me.

Quinn chimes in, laying her chin on top of Thu Thu's head, "Hey, hey, don't be upset, you can sleep with me. The problem is, my campsite is farther away from everyone."

Thu Thu snakes an arm around Quinn's waist, locking eyes with her. There's a slight spark between them, their eyes twinkling like two stars, "I'll only go if you're alone there."

Quinn bites her lip, "I'm with some family, but they won't mind where I go or who I take back to my tent, I'm sleeping alone after all."

She winks, all of us in tears after Quinn blatantly tries to seduce Thu Thu.

I wince, my cheek still stinging from the excellent slap Thu Thu handed to me. Skye massages my cheek, silently letting me know that she's checking up on me if I'm okay, even if I did deserve it.

"I'm okay, Skye," I reassure her quietly. "If you know Thu Thu, the worst she can do is bite me, and I'm the only one she bites."

"Kinky," Skye quips as well, noticing Thu Thu glaring at her. "Don't slap me."

Thu Thu's snarl transforms into a smile at the sight of Skye's implored face, "Nah, not you. You're too pretty."

Skye's face glows, her face burning as red as her silky hair, "Alrighty then. Look, if you need a tent, have mine. I can just sleep in Andre's; there's enough space."

"No, it's okay, I can just drive over right now," Thu Thu proposes, picking her keys out of her pocket.

Skye isn't going to take no for an answer, that's just Skye. She could stick up for anyone, even if she weren't fond of them. Also, if it were her family, literally anyone we would despise, she would probably defend.

"I'm not letting you spend money," Skye argues strongly. "It's either you take my tent, or I buy you the tent."

Thu Thu considers it, swaying her head, "Fine. This is the last thing you do for me," She tells Skye firmly.

Skye simply shrugs, "Fine by me, but no promises."

Defeated and guilty, she sets up the inside of Skye's tent, putting her belongings inside. Skye follows suit; only she was propping her stuff in my tent. No worries, though, my tent was spacious as hell.

Julianna and Lance start beckoning us, we all spin to see them sitting on the tarp on the dirt.

"Hey! We need help! There's been a situation!" Lance pants, fluffing his short repeatedly to stay cold.

"...And by situation, he means big rip on the side of our tent," Julianna corrects and rubs her eyes.

Skye clicks her tongue cleverly, "Easy fix; we just need sewing supplies, anyone?"

"You sew?" I inquire; curiously, my attraction for Skye intensely increasing.

"Yes," Skye fiddles around in her pocket, taking out a hair tie. "Do you?"

"Yes, Ma'am, I do."

"Good, 'cause that's a giant rip," She sighs in relief, reaching up for her hair and putting her hair up.

_Holy shit._

My insides, I shit you not, turned inside out, tossing and turning, like a restless child in their bed. The butterflies in my stomach are about to fly out of my mouth to find a calmer and more responsible vessel. The veins in my temples are about to pop. How is it possible for someone this _gorgeous_ , this _unique_ , this _remarkable_ , _fuck_ , this _beautiful_ to exist in this world?

If Skye wasn't adorable for someone already, I bet they'd freak out after seeing her prop her hair up.

The warmness in my chest explodes, almost making me pass out from the rays burning me in between the trees and the heat coursing through my body.

"Look sharp, Andre," Miguel slaps my back, snapping me out of my fantasies.

"Huh?" My eyes flicker, still fixated on Skye.

"You're drooling. Stop checking Skye out, and help us find sewing supplies."

"Awwwe, Andre does have a crush," Quinn recognizes the situation to my dismay, blinking rapidly at me. "I knew it! You like her!"

"NO! I don't!"

The group scowls at me as I make a comment, "Fuck, you make it so obvious, I'd hate to find out if you were serious," Marjorie says in disbelief.

"She's right," Skye chimes in, a roll of thread and a needle in her hands. "You're horrible at hiding things."

Skye walks past me, the scent of her hair punching the sweet spots of my senses.

I smirk, tilting my head as she continues walking in front of me, "Just keep walking, yup."

Thu Thu, from behind, flicks the back of my head repeatedly, "Fucking help her!"

"SHIT! STOP!" I curl up and cover my head, scurrying over to her. "Sorry! I will; I will."

"Hurry your ass up, Macatangay!" I can hear the urgency in Skye's voice.

"I'm coming! I'm coming," I rush to Skye, flattening out the fabrics of the tent as she works. "Sorry for staring."

Skye focuses on sewing, gasping deeply. An almost chagrined expression is bound on her face, "It's fine. I just didn't expect you to stare at me that way."

She almost sounds disappointed, but the odd part is that I know she isn't at all.

"Hmph, what can I say? Either keep your eyes on the prize or let it be taken away," I lift Skye's chin, her cheeks flushing crimson.

Skye's mouth gapes open, and her eyes widen, "I- Uh- What?"

"Focus on the task," I tease, intently staring at her gorgeous expression. "By prize, I mean you, not your ass."

"I know, Andre. You're not that much of a pig," Skye snorts, swiping my hand away. She flaps the fabric to test its sturdiness and stands up, still holding it. "Finished."

I let go of the tent and propped it up by myself.

"Lance! Jyanna! It's ready," I yell, standing up.

The others settle inside their tents for a while. After all, it's still early in the morning; I think it's okay to rest, especially after a long drive. Marjorie and Thu Thu were hauling the giant bag of almonds to the park table, opening it happily, and eating the chocolates one by one.

Quinn stands with Skye and I. She leans forward, trying to look at both of us, "I'm gonna tell my family you guys are here, they'll probably let me stay with you all the whole day."

Skye, who barely even musters up a word to Quinn, replies, "Yeah, we can tell the others."

"Thanks, sister," Quinn delightedly begins walking, looking behind her and waving gracefully. "We're sisters! Same hair! Same eyes!"

The other redhead disappears from our sights into the shades of the other pathway.

Skye grimaces and rolls her eyes, "Ugh, why is she always so _happy?"_

I plant a loving kiss on her cheek, "What's the problem with that? I'm always happy."

She flusters up her words, "She's- Fuck! I don't know!"

"Do you want to talk about it now?" I study her face, giving her an appraising look as she glances at me.

Skye exhales deeply, uncertainty in her voice, "You know what? Forget what I said. I need to change."

As she begins to walk away, I reach for her hand again and pull her into an embrace smoothly. I feel her slightly nuzzle against my chest, or maybe it's just me.

"Skye, you know I won't be able to let this go," I admit, looking down at her glistening hair.

I let her push herself off of me and stare at the blue in her eyes.

"I don't know what the feeling is, okay?" She replies, her tone dull and harsher than usual. She looks at me as if I'm a stranger; it's the same stare she gave me earlier. "Let me go; I'm going to the tent."

She begins to walk away, the tone in her voice ringing fire alarms in my head, making me feel uneasy and confused.

I think for a moment, harder than I did before. I was worried as hell for her, and it suddenly clicks.

This entire summer, all of us had been used to Skye, though she can be hyperactive and silly sometimes, getting quiet when she feels upset. Marjorie and I especially are so used to reassuring her to pry any sort of information out from the thick walls that sometimes surround her. Skye has dealt with the most amount of emotional and psychological pain out of all the people I know, and I've admittedly heard some stories as fucked up as her's.

Hell, it's hard already to get any information out of Skye. She claims she trusts me, trusts us, but her defensive reflexes power through her rational thoughts. There was something from the look on her face, to the tone in her voice that sent me into a panic inside my own head.

She's still herself, of course. She's stubborn to tell us anything rather than coming clean about whatever she needed to talk about. To her, there wasn't a need for talking. She just wanted to be alone.

But time and time again, we insisted, she listened, and she learned that us being here was good for her, that her voice did matter.

This leads me to suspect that this kind of emotion Skye is dealing with right now is entirely foreign to what she had to deal with before.

She's obviously upset at Quinn, but for what reason?

Skye is jealous.

"You're jealous?"

Skye stops in her tracks, contemplating while looking straight ahead. She shifts to the left and lets herself fall onto the tarp on the floor, "Yes? No? I don't know! I just know it feels shitty."

I hand her shirt back to her, which she accepts almost a little too fast. "Thanks," she mutters quietly.

I poke her forehead, "Look. You have no reason to feel that way."

Skye stares up at me in disbelief but recognized the honesty in my voice.

"Does that mean you like me back?" I get my hopes up for a moment, impulsively asking such a stupid question.

Skye, with sad eyes, shakes her head slowly, "I'm sorry."

"Oh! Don't be! Sorry for assuming," I feel something inside me burst, or shatter. Either way, the reaction my heart gave me felt horrible.

Skye stands up, extending a hand to me, "Let's go set up our air beds."

I pull her up with ease, motioning for her to take the lead in front of me, "Let's go."

As we walk towards the tent, feelings of denial, and restlessness, and discouragement, and sorrow wash my body like a demented shower.

Did she not feel the same way? After all her gestures, all her actions? Am I just being played, or am I stupid? I couldn't pinpoint an answer because every time my hopes climb and climb and climb, it always plummets down the same route. The impact of reaching the bottom keeps getting harder and harder.

What if Skye is deliberately flirting back with me just to be nice? She's always been courteous and caring. If she pitied me, she could have just told me and moved on. Her presence in my life certainly has helped, but could she really go that far?

If she is jealous, why? Am I only a crutch for her to get through the day? That seems like the only logical answer that she's using me.

But that ain't Skye.

On the other hand, I do trust that she's utterly genuine about her actions and how she feels about me. Only, she's just too afraid to admit it.

I don't blame her, though. Having feelings is hard, and even harder to admit to the person you have feelings for. I told Skye out of pure trust, and when that happened, I had entirely accepted them.

I like this girl, from the tips of my toes to the top of my head, I head over heels like her.

"Andre! You're awfully slow today," Skye's lips purse, noticing my sluggish approach from behind. "You tired already?"

"Nah."

I withdraw from my thoughts for now and follow Skye inside the tent. 


	31. Jealous (Pt. 1)

_Camping: Day 1_  
_10:00 AM_  
_July. 22, 2019_

Skye's POV

I'm rummaging through the tent, trying to organize my things as best as I can. The tiniest bit of sunlight is seeping in through the tent's walls; it must have been small cracks through the zippers of the windows. This tent was stored in Andre's garage shelf for years. Behind me, the zipper at the entrance of the tent buzzes, and Andre crawls through the opening.

"Hey there," He coyly cocks his head at me. "You have quite the mess piled up there."

"I know I'm a mess, Andre, no need to remind me," I smirk, patting down on the deflated air bed.

Andre clicks his tongue, crawling in deeper, "Skye, no."

I laugh, reaching for the electric air pump between the wall of pillows, blankets and plastic bags I created, "Could you plug it into that extension cord?"

"Of course!" 

The air hums and starts to pour into the mattress.

It isn't anything fancy, just a single person mattress. Andre has his own and would be sleeping on the other side of the tent. It still boggles my mind that tents come in this size.

The trip so far has me feeling either stressed or relaxed, never one. 

Feeling those emotions earlier was unbearable, and I know that I would have to deal with them again, as they would inevitably come back. 

I'm not the jealous type, but this is the first time I have felt this way. I understood the word, not the feeling, and if this is what it'll feel like every time then shit, I'm fucked. Knowing my own mind, I've handled intense pain that jumps out during horrible situations, but never envy, never in my life have I tasted envy.

"All done!" Andre cheers as I look over at him, finishing up organizing my stuff.

"Oh!" I kneel beside him and gaze at the neatly piled bags beside the air mattress, the plastic bags folded into one of the bigger plastic bags next to them. "You didn't have to do that."

"I'd do anything for you." There he goes again, taking the promise he made and applying it to every little thing. It was a sweet gesture; I'm starting to wonder if he's only doing it because he feels like he has too. I'm beginning to feel bad for him, I barely do anything for him and the first moments of this trip almost ended in a fight between us.

"Let's set up your stuff, now," I suggest, motioning to the opposite side of the tent. "Also, if there's any way we can block out all the light, that'd be super great."

Andre nods, scooting over to the other side, "I agree, it'll get too hot in here if the sunlight keeps hitting the walls."

"That's not what I meant," I clarify, sitting against the thin barrier. "I just want it to be pitch black in here; it's my preferred environment to sleep in."

"Skye, everyone sleeps in pitch black rooms," Andre lively says. "Unless people like nightlights or wasting electricity."

I laugh, looking around me, "I just feel safer in the dark, the sun is one of my mortal enemies."

"That's why your skin is pale and shiny," Andre smirks, staring at me happily. "You're a vampire."

I lunge onto him, catching him off guard. I pin him down with one arm, and the surprised look he has plastered on his face is priceless... And admittedly cute.

"Maybe I am, and maybe all I want to do is suck all your guys' blood," I growl playfully, poking at his sides, still keeping him pinned.

Andre winks, making all the blood rush into my cheeks, "I don't mind you sucking my blood, just as long as it satisfies us both."

Unfazed, he pushes me off during my moment of weakness and binds me onto the other air mattress, his hands achingly close to some exposed skin below the edges of my shirt. What is he doing?

"You two better not be doing nasty shit in there!" Marjorie suddenly yells, causing Andre to jolt off of me.

Thu Thu snorts a laugh, her quite soft voice somehow resonating loudly, "The walls are thin! Don't think we can't hear you!"

Andre crawls over to the windows, unzipping it. The blinding light spills inside the tent through the screen, slightly pixelating the outdoors. "I was making a move," he whimpers, turning to look at me. "Don't worry, Skye, it's a joke."

 _Shit._ Part of me wouldn't have cared if that wasn't a joke. Just for the sake of my burning curiosity, of course.

Some tree branches are swaying, casting a few chunky, animated shadows inside the tent. The trees are greener than usual, even from where I'm laying down. 

Andre hollers at Marjorie and Thu Thu, who both are still sat on the park table, organizing the food for later.

"Is that pork barbeque?" Andre blocks his eyes and glasses from the sun. "You guys got the bamboo skewers, eh?"

Marjorie's feet rustle in the weeds and dirt as she approaches the right-side window of the tent, "Yup! Hey, Skye! Were you two having fun?"

"Fuck off."

I barely wave at her. 

The two continue talking as I lay back into the soft, airy bed. Folding my arms, I stare at the fabric ceiling of the tent, thinking about my feelings from earlier.

I concluded those emotions sprung up because of Quinn. 

The way she was all up in his business didn't sit well with me. Instead, it simmered in my gut. And at any point, it could start boiling. 

It left a sickening taste on my tongue. Andre isn't even _mine,_ which makes me feel even worse about the whole ordeal.

Mine? What am I saying? He'll never be unless I was selfish. 

Envisioning him carrying my baggage hurts and splitting the load would stress me out. He already has to deal with my shit almost every day, _fuck_ ; the others have too as well.

The worst part is that Andre doesn't mean to make me feel this way, to make me feel _jealous._ It wasn't even Quinn either; my selfishness and insecurities guide that terrible emotion. 

Andre is right, maybe I should talk to one of the girls about it, but who?

"Skye!" Andre calls, pulling me upright. "You're going to love dinner later! It's one of those Filipino dishes that you've been dying to try!"

Oh, yes, distract me more from my dilemma; it's always better this way. 

Not only do I not have to think about it, but I also don't have to be responsible for it. Ugh, who am I kidding? 

It's going to bother me the whole day.

Holding off the inevitable anxiety, I would feel later when I see Quinn and Andre wasn't a great idea. 

I was contemplating telling him, but if I did, it would be like waiting for your fingers to be crushed between a sliding glass door.

"What is it called?" I ask, flipping my hair out of the way.

Andre clears his throat, "Barbeque."

Confused, I tilt my head, "Like, what kind?"

"Barbeque! It's just called barbeque!" Andre laughs, unzipping the entrance of the tent. He gestures at me to come. "C'mon, we have sights to see."

"I feel like staying in here," I whine, sprawling my body onto the bed.

I feel a light grip tugging on my ankle. I look over my shoulder to see Andre dragging me through the entrance.

I panic and try to flip onto my back, but his grip prevents me from doing so. "Andre Macatangay! Stop!"

All he does is snort and snicker as I kick my free foot around in the air. 

He's nearly out the door, the sun already burning away at my fair skin.

He uses his other arm to wrap around my waist and to my dismay, I'm off the ground and over his shoulder. 

I scream and laugh, not knowing whether the feeling in my stomach is fear or amusement. I resist, trying to wiggle out of his arms but to no avail.

"I'm gonna chuck you into the water," Andre sets his feet and starts walking along the dirt path.

"I don't even have shoes on! Put me down!" I bark, the cackling drowning out all the seriousness I tried to use in my voice.

He spins me around and gently lets me step onto the tarp. I sway once I landed, stabilizing my feet and panting.

"What was that for?" The adrenaline hasn't yet left my body. "You could have put my shoes on for me, at least."

Andre shrugs, "Didn't think of it, just wanted to mess with you and shake out all your laziness."

Clever boy, it did shake it all out. 

I slip into my shoes and adjust the crazy mess now known as my hair. 

I turn to look at Marjorie and Thu Thu, who's hands were still coated in sticky barbeque sauce. It seems to be homemade. I didn't see any bottles of sauce around them, only a metal bowl with a dark substance inside it.

Thu Thu dumps what appears to be pork into the bowl, coating them in the sticky marinade.

Nick is there too, passing Marjorie bamboo skewers. There's a row of pork kebobs layered in a Tupperware next to the edge of the table.

His arms are dangling over her shoulders, and from the looks of it, Thu Thu is teasing them, an innocent yet, playful grin across her face. Marjorie's cheeks are bright red, but Nick's aren't, he must have been flirting with her.

"Skye-With-An-E," Andre calls, tugging on my wrist. "Let's go; the others are near the swimming pool."

I walk into step with him smoothly, and he slyly puts his hand through mine, "Have you been here before?"

"Pikelake? No, my family hates camping, and the outdoors," I reply, smiling and swinging our arms. "This is the first time I'll be doing this kind of thing."

Andre smiles widely, unfortunately letting go of my hand, "You'll like it, I know you will."

I believe him. 

I follow him until the vast landscape known as Pikelake blooms before my very eyes after turning a corner from out of the campsites.

The sparkling water of the lake is almost as blinding as the sun. A wave of heat hazes the treeline across the body of water that seems to span miles and miles from left to right. The splashing of water hums quietly, but it isn't from the lake, it's from the swimming pool's waterslide next to this even bigger tipi.

At first, it was an eyesore, a giant wooden tipi out in the middle of a park. But staring at it longer, I started to understand why it was there. It's for families to dine in on hot or stormy days; there's ample shade to protect you from both.

In the direction farther from us, there's a playground with only a row of swings and a sea-saw. Past that down a hill, I see an even bigger playground, this time with a jungle gym, two slides and two monkey-bars. 

That's all I can see from here, though. There's probably other stuff to do on that side of Pikelake, and we're all going to travel the entire regional park, we have a whole week.

I turn my attention in front of me, Andre's back facing me. He stares out down another hill, the tall metal fence of the pool scaling along with it. There's a dock past between the tips of a hedge and the corner of the pool, and a row of kayaks and canoes.

He runs his hand through his hair and sighs, glancing back at me, "I wish I went to get a haircut before coming here; it's going to be hot this week."

"If you take off that vest, maybe you'd feel a little cooler," I suggest.

"Alright, I'll be back," He says. "I'm not wearing a shirt underneath my sweater, so I'm gonna have to find something. Just go to where we're supposed to go." Andre points toward an entranceway between two hedges, a concrete pathway leading to a grassy shoreline.

As I begin stepping down the concrete path to where he pointed, Andre turns a corner and disappears into the darkness of the trees.

Not noticing that my feet hit the grass, mere inches away from falling into cattails, the familiar smell of nature enters my nose. 

Taking a deep breath with closed eyes and a bowed head, I let my senses acclimate to the environment.

A smile escapes from me as I open my eyes. The sun was bright, just bright enough that it wasn't blinding me. It reflected on the lake's surface, drawing me in. Everything becomes at ease, peaceful. 

It's a calming quiet, the only noise coming from the water rippling onto the bank. It's almost like a clock ticking. It's hard to hear, but if you're quiet enough, you can pick up the noise.

Instead of heading to where the others are, I went exploring in the woods, only a stone's throw from the shoreline and stumble upon a peculiar place among the trees. A place with no dirt paths tucked away in the bushes. That's when I notice a tiny crevice between the trees, the only way I've found to go deeper. Most likely, the path had been made by an animal.

From half-instinct, half-curiosity, I rummage deeper through the shrubbery. When I get to the other side, I find another smaller shoreline in the shape of an alcove, secluded from the rest of it. It's our own lonely little resting place; how cute.

It almost reminds me of myself, or at least how I used to be. Always hiding, always trying to get away from others. Despite my brother's words, I'm finding it easier to believe that everyone cares about me. I guess that's something only time will surely tell.

Not caring, whether this ruins my outfit, I sit on the soft and dry sand. It's almost warm to the touch. I scoop some up, squeezing it and allowing the tiny grains to pour out of my hand. It's hypnotizing. Like a waterfall, they fall out in a pattern. I find myself having repeated this process several times, making me lose track of time, just watching the sand fall out.

Looking back out, the other side of the lake is the other treeline. All of the trees across the lake had their own different shape, so not one tree was the same. There isn't a heat haze this time. It's bright and vivid, and it almost hypnotizes me until I hear flapping near the soles of my feet. 

The water laps onto the shore, and I'm sitting just far enough away, so it doesn't reach me. I instantaneously take off my boots and socks, tucking them away into a nearby brush.

As I stand up, now barefoot in the sand, I tie up my hair up before rolling up my tights to my knees. I take a deep breath, focusing on my breathing as I creep closer and closer to the water, Andre's stupid saying ringing in my head.

_The best medicine is no medicine at all._

_Baby steps, baby steps._

I dip my feet in, surprised that I'd even come close to such a large body of water. I open my eyes, inhaling deeply once again. The soft fragrance of the lake fills my nose with relief; I had faced my fear. The next step is to jump in. I'm almost half-tempted to do it. Not right now, though, I didn't have the proper clothing.

The cold of the water didn't shock me at all. There are colder things you can experience in life. Unfavourable negative forty-degree weather in Saskatchewan and abusive families, they both feel the same. I didn't bother letting those horrible thoughts cloud my mind; the place I'm in is peaceful, almost too peaceful.

I venture deeper into the water, letting my legs get submerged up to my knees, my tights soaking up a bit of water. 

I can see everyone now, not just my friends, but all the people on the main shore. No one knew about this place. I see the boats, kayaks, and the other water vessels you can rent out.

Along with that, all the families of people are out there - friends and parents with their kids in the water or relaxing on the shore. I'm far enough away where they can't see me. There is also a wooden porch built over top of the water on a cliff. The farther I look, the blurrier it got. It's orange, and there are a couple of people on it.

A rustle in the leaves behind me makes me jump, nearly stumbling into the water.

"You scared me," I look at John's head peering from behind the tree.

John smiles, taking a step forward, "I know this place."

I look back in front of me, this time, peering to the left: nothing, just an endless stream of water curving into the rest of the lake.

"How big is Pikelake, anyway?" I ask, curious.

"The lake?" John sits down a few inches away from the water, resting his arm on top of his knee. "Pretty big, though; I'm the wrong person to ask."

The sun's rays hit my face as the clouds move away. I hover a hand over my eyes, still interested in what was in front of me, "Say, did you bring a towel?"

"No, I can tell one of the others to bring one," John replies with a grin. "How did you find this place?"

"I don't know, sheer luck?" I shrug, pursing my lips. "I saw an unusual gap in the trees, and sure enough, there's a passageway."

"Ah, that's how I found it last time I was here," He says, putting a hand into his pocket. "I come here every time I visit. Are you trynna relax right now?"

"Nah, I'm just looking at the scenery."

"Liar," He calls my bluff. The trees and bushes rustle begin to rustle behind us again, "Speak of the Devil, MJ brought a towel."

Marjorie walks onto the sand, furrowing her eyebrows, "You need this, Jolo? It's full of my sweat now."

"Already? We were here for only an hour," John shakes his head, still digging away at his pocket. "Skye needs the towel, by the way."

"I was preparing dinner with Thu Thu; it got super-hot because of the warm wind earlier, Marjorie rubs the back of her neck then crosses her arms. "Catch, Skye."

I catch it, hopping onto a tiny patch of grass beside the sand bed and padding down my legs. I reach for my boots, falling on my bum to slip into my socks.

"Is everyone out and about already?" I ask, sliding on my boots.

They both nod, "I think we should give you a tour of the place, Skye," John suggests, putting on a ninja-style headband.

I smirk, "Is there a basketball court near here I should know about, too?"

He shakes his head, "This is just to put my hair up, I forgot to get a haircut before coming here."

"Andre, too," I blurt out unknowingly. "Where is he? Did he find a shirt?"

"Yup, but I think he went off ahead with Nick and Miguel to the pool," Marjorie answers quickly. "They're not going for a swim, though. It's too hot for that right now."

A warm breeze picks up, swaying the water closer to our shore. The thought of swimming makes my body shift away from the water. Dipping my feet in was hard enough already, now I'd have to jump in next time. The worst absolute thing my brother could have done to me was give me a phobia of swimming.

I toughed out all of the beatings; I defended myself most of the time. Except, last time, I felt so weak. 

I finished a jog, and that happens to me? Getting beat up after exercising, it was not a pleasant time, nor was it an enjoyable day. Fear took control of me - the fear of losing my necklace and bracelet, the fear of abandonment with my new friends. As I stated before, I tried not to let Brian's words haunt me. From time to time, they did, but not right now, especially when I'm supposed to be having fun.

All of us emerge from the bushes, and we see the others surrounding the giant tipi in the middle of the park. At a closer inspection, I see a concrete floor circling the interior of the building and several park benches inside.

I look back at John, "Is that giant tipi just a shady spot to eat?"

He nods, "Yup, that's where people hold potlucks and gatherings sometimes. There's a lot of space inside."

"I gotta admit," I exhale deeply, looking back at the lake. "I feel like I'm gonna like this place."

"You like it?" John snaps his fingers and winks. "Then why don't you marry it?"

I roll my eyes, "Shut up."

The entrance is just the opening of a traditional tipi; the spiral it creates when ascending into the sky is eye-catching; it is fixating to look at.

I feel a sudden bump on my chest, nearly falling back into the ground if it wasn't for John catching me.

"Woah!" I grunt, steadying myself when my one foot lands back onto the grass. "Who the-"

"I'm sorry! I was looking at the tipi, too!" Quinn apologizes as she circles me anxiously. "Don't feel uncomfortable, I'm checking if I hurt you."

Despite her reassurance, I'm still quite uncomfortable, I'm not used to her presence yet, and she is up in my business. 

But I can't get angry at her, even if I wanted too, she doesn't know any better.

"Quinn," I hold her shoulders in place, her naturally wide eyes finding me. "I didn't even fall, thanks."

She smiles giddily, moving her wavy red hair behind her. She gestures us to come inside the tipi, the shade making us all sigh in relief, protecting us from the unbearable gaze of the sun.

"Pretty darn nice in here," Quinn giggles, looking up at the ceiling. "It's like, instant air conditioning."

The others begin talking to her about God-knows-what, they're probably just trying to catch up with her after the years they've been separated. Distractions were everywhere; there were gaps between the pegs of the wooden tipi, I notice the spiders in the corner of the trash bins encased in wooden planks outside.

Looking back in the interior, I see the park benches, four to be exact, from outside, it seemed like there were more. Above me was another spiral ascending upwards, only this time the spirals were closing in on each other. It was old, the wood was peeling off, and grey, cobwebs everywhere, and the park benches had several pencil graffiti on it, and so did some of the planks holding up the structure.

I could hear the splashing water in the pool in the corner of my ear, all the laughing, screaming, some crying. God, I'd have to jump inside the pool soon.

A pair of arms suddenly wrap around my shoulders, and reflexively, I shrug them off quickly.

"Skye!" Andre laughs, shaking his head. "It's just me."

I feel my face redden, my eyes glaring into his, "You could have warned me! God, I'm sitting far in the corner alone, and a pair of arms grab at me. I thought I was being kidnapped."

Andre only smiles, poking my forehead. 

I scoff, rubbing the spot he hit, "Where's Miguel and Nick?"

"Over there," He points to the others before sitting down next to me, laying down on my thighs. "Any plans?"

"Camping, obviously," I try to uphold his body to line up with the bench, so he doesn't fall.

Andre closes his eyes, bringing a hand behind his head, "I meant throughout the day. Are you silly?"

"No."

"No plans, or no, you're not silly?"

I shrug, "No."

Andre pouts at me, his damned smirk making look twice, "Skye!"

I try my best to not stare at his lips, "I don't really know what else to do other than, y'know, sightsee."

Andre sits back up, "Why don't you hang out with the girls? Thu Thu and Marjorie won't be busy today; they already finished preparing dinner."

"What will you be doing?" I answer him with another question.

"Probably hang out with the guys, or Quinn, I have to catch up with her too."

My heart sinks.

"Oh, I see," I wet my lips and glance to my left. "There she is right now."

"You ready to go?" Quinn walks up to Andre and me, hands behind her back. "You've been here before, right? Let's go by the beach."

He nods, still looking at me, "Go on ahead, Quinn. Sit on one of the benches facing the lake, I'm still talking to Skye."

Quinn shakes her head, smiling widely and wrapping an arm around my waist, "Oh no, I can wait with the others." She squeezes before twirling around, skipping along to the others, who are still talking at the park table.

Andre turns to look at me, a melancholy look on his face.

"Go have fun with the others," He forces a smile out for me. "The girls probably have some tea to spill."

I puff, leaning my forehead against his shoulder, "I guess." I poke my head up. "Welp, I guess I'm off too, have fun. I don't wanna keep you two stalled out inside here."

Maybe after about three steps away from him, Andre shouts, "Wait!"

I shriek startled, "Fucking- Andre!" I murmur in frustration. "Jesus, what did you remember?"

He holds a finger up, biting his lip, "My Pom juice."

Marjorie and Thu Thu are already commencing their walk, calling after me, gesturing me come with them.

I take a quick glance at Andre, "That's my queue, better get that Pom Juice. You don't wanna leave your ex waiting."

Andre scratches his head, his voice revealing grave concern, "Yeah, I won't."

My feet spin around, stepping back into a step towards Marjorie and Thu Thu, standing in the middle of the downward slope of the hill waiting for me.

"Skye!" He shouts back at me, gesturing me with his hand to come back. "You forgot something, too!"

I roll my eyes and trudge back towards him. I was already near the two girls, I hated to keep them waiting again. 

I stare at him blankly when I approach him, biting my lip to hide my annoyance.

"Yes?"

Andre kisses my cheek, bringing back the warmness in my chest, "That one is for the road, go on."

I scratch my warm cheeks, subtly smiling back at him before speed-walking back to the girls. "Clever. See you, tiger."

Ugh, why does he have to be so... so affectionate! It gets me every time, his gestures, his kindness, they have a hold on my heart, and they aren't letting go anytime soon.

Seeing him with Quinn and watching her squeeze his hips made that simmering feeling in my stomach come back. I almost feel nauseous, like I'm nervous that something is bound to happen. But I know damn well I'm not jealous. 

Fuck, unless I am jealous.

Why? I can't possibly feel that way; they broke up a long time ago, there wasn't anything to worry about.

In fact, I should not be worrying about anything. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why should I worry about who Andre is with or going to be with, in plus, they broke up a long time ago. Plus...

_He isn't even mine._


	32. You Are My Sunshine

_Camping: Day 1_

_11:07 a.m._

_July. 22, 2019_

Andre's POV

Was she being passive-aggressive? Did I do something? I knew I probably was missing something, but I couldn't get her to spill that easy, that's just how Skye is. She boxes up until one of us pries it out of her, which makes me feel bad. I don't like invading people's space and privacy; it isn't my business. Knowing me, however, I'd try so hard just to cheer someone up, even if I didn't see the problem, hell, even if I'm the problem.

"I thought you two weren't dating," Quinn asks, tapping my shoulder.

"We aren't," I shrug, tilting my head. "We're just that close, I guess."

Quinn purses her lips, "So, did you need to get something?"

We walk out of the tipi and head back to the campsite. Behind me were the others going their separate ways. John, Tagu, Lance, Nick, and Julianna were going in the direction scaling the pool's tall fences, towards two playgrounds. The three girls went the opposite way, going down a medium-sized hill towards the hedges. Beyond where they're going is the beach.

I scavenge through the cooler full of beverages and smile when I feel the familiar gourd bottle cling to my fingertips. The ice starts to burn my hand, so I pull it out quickly, holding the tasty drink up high.

The droplets shimmer brightly, a dark-violet shadow casting itself near my shoulder.

Quinn giggles, covering her mouth, "You always did love that drink." She grabs it from my hand and takes a sip, humming delightfully. " _Gosh!_ It tastes better than I remember."

"Of course," I take it from her hands and screw the cap on tightly. "I had a great person buy me some a couple of years ago." I wink, gesturing her to start walking.

She scoffs, "You're still as sweet as always, hm?"

I chuckle nervously, "You're still the same Quinn that we saw four years ago."

"I told you already," Quinn says. "I'll never change for anyone or anything."

"I know," I reply. "That's why when you left us, it felt like our souls got ripped out of our bodies."

Quinn strokes my cheek, a sudden frown on her face, "I'm sorry."

"No, don't be," I wave my hands. "I didn't mean for that to make you feel guilty."

She shakes her head, moving her wavy, red hair over her shoulder, "I felt guilty every day after I left you all."

I take her hand, clutching it tightly, walking in the opposite direction of the pool, beach, and tipi. The direction we were going was near a nature path and a museum full of insects and animal taxidermy displays. However, I was taking her to the beach volleyball court. Well, it was just a net set up in a bed of sand. There were also more campsites here, as well as another playground. I remember distinctly that I had my finger stung by a wasp on this playground when I was thirteen.

Quinn gasps, pulling ahead of me and dragging me. Just like old times, "What did you see?"

"A dog!" Quinn smiles with closed eyes. Her smile was almost blinding when I looked directly at her teeth. "Did you ever get a dog over the years? You were obsessed about getting one."

I purse my lips, "Nah, we can never fit it into the family's budget."

Quinn points with her lips - a trait she got from spending time with our Filipino families often - to a German Shepherd, maybe six months old considering its size.

It waltzes over to us, Quinn letting go of my hand to kneel and pet it. "So soft." Her eyes gleefully sparkle as she ruffles the dog's neck. "You're so adorable!"

The owner, who was standing about a few feet away from us, was grinning and had a bag of what looked to be dried liver treats.

"Andre!" Quinn calls, her eyes gleaming with happiness. "Pet the poor thing, too!"

I roll my eyes, smiling bashfully at the owner before kneeling next to Quinn and massaging the dog's back.

The dog's eyes were dilated, tongue hanging out and panting happily as he leaned into our hands.

Yup, I got to get one of these soon.

I retreat standing up and have to gently tug Quinn back with me so that the dog could go on with his day with his owner.

"Thank you!" Quinn squeals. "Before you two leave, what's his name?"

"Delta," The owner mutters, his back facing us and walking away.

Delta twirls, giving us the same smile he had before approaching us, and running ahead of his owner.

We trailed behind the two before following another path, which leads to the farthest part of the beach. The sandy shore was small and had a descending ramp into a large family bed of cottontails, their spikes hanging high towards the clouds.

Quinn, being the carefree girl she was, plopped down into the sand. As she sat there, she tied her hair up into a messy bun and let her head hit the soft soil.

"C'mere!" She gestures, waving her hand. "We have much to talk about. It has been three years."

"I know, Quinn," I sit down beside her, reflexively wrapping an arm around her and pulling her into me. "Uhm, do you mind this?"

Quinn leans into me and shakes her head, "Feels like the good old days. Stay there."

She was right about change. I guess I barely did, my habit of putting my arm around her and tugging so she'd lay on me never did go away. If anything, Quinn left, and the habit ceased to exist until she came back.

The only thing that did change about me was my level of anxiety; my emotional endurance was at an all-time low. Of course, she didn't know this, she's probably assuming I'm doing well for myself and that I moved on considerably since she knows I'm interested in Skye.

I nuzzle against Quinn's soft hair. Guilt was stirring up inside me; I couldn't figure out why. If anything, I may be too loyal to Skye and haven't let myself go this much lately with anyone.

It bothers me more that we weren't together; why should I be worried about being overly clingy with someone else?

I let go, awkwardly curling up and hugging my knees.

"Something wrong?" Quinn purses her lips, concern ringing in her voice.

"No," I say blankly. "Nothing is wrong. I just feel-"

"Guilty?"

What the hell? How? How could she have known?

Flustered, I stare at her blankly, biting my lip, not knowing what to say.

"I don't know, Quinn."

"You certainly look guilty," She looks up at me, her ocean eyes shimmering in the sunlight. "If you like Skye so much, why not, you know, ask?"

"It's a long story, Bub," I rub my cheek gently. "You'd have to sit around for about an hour or two. In plus, I'm not allowed to tell you anything until I get Skye's okay."

Quinn nods, understanding completely.

"Put it this way: Skye has a lot of maturing and learning to do."

"Is she a troublemaker?" Quinn's lip curls, her hands fidgeting with the sand all around her.

"No!" I shake my head. "It's like, she's-"

"-oblivious to certain things because she hasn't fully grasped the concept of-"

"Woah! Okay, okay, you figured it," I admit. "Half-right, actually."

I still couldn't fathom how great Quinn was at reading people and understanding people so easily. Her empathy far exceeds anyone I've ever met, including myself. I remember one time, we got into a petty argument, but instead of being petty, she apologized to me first, even if it wasn't entirely her fault.

I was immature back then; I regularly wondered how and why I maintained a great relationship with Quinn. Relationships at such a young age are bound to be immature, but not ours. Quinn was mostly the mature one, and perpetually calm. She never lost her temper.

When she left us, I honestly thought it was because of me. I was insecure about it for so long; it was hard to let myself get into a new relationship after. Well, until I met _her, which also_ ended horribly for me. I wasn't at all insecure like the last time; however, I was afraid of opening up to anyone new. It's still hard to get comfortable around Skye, sometimes. But, I always push through because that's what Quinn taught me. To persevere, to never back down from a fight, even if it's against yourself.

Quinn Kelly is an incredible individual; she's one of the people that shaped me into the person I am today. Without her, who knows how bratty, immature, and selfish I would have been. I had terrible moments back then where I'd lash out on her; it hurt her severely, but again, she stayed with me. She wanted to help me mature into a better person.

I was a toxic boyfriend. I also wasn't very loyal, often flirting with others without even thinking about her. I still feel the guilt of making her cry, over and over again, I constantly questioned why she stayed with me. The amount of pain I put her through, I feel that now. I'm vowing that if I ever end up with Skye, I wouldn't repeat the same mistakes. Not that I repeated them with my last girlfriend, but there was something about Skye. In my head, there was this voice always telling me that she was special, absolutely, positively special.

It was bittersweet when Quinn and I broke up. The last two months I was with her, she had taught me so much. I was on the way to reforming myself. After her final good-bye, I wasn't mad at her for not telling me why she left, and why so suddenly. I didn't hold it against her because, at that point, Quinn taught me how to be a better person, how to be me.

Hell, she was a voice that all of us needed. Being an angsty pre-teen in the eighth grade, you're bound to make stupid decisions and not care about how your actions affect other people.

The fact that Quinn was that mature for our age, and at the same time still goofy, and outgoing, boggles my mind. She was just... different. Her personality was something from out of this world. I've never met anyone as empathetic and wise as Quinn, even today.

She changed me for the better; I could never forget her for that.

Quinn pumps her fist and whoops, "Yes! You can't hide anything from me!"

"I'm gay," I quip.

"No, you're not," She winks seductively at me. "You can ask my past self if you were. And you aren't! Remember the multiple times we-"

"OKAY, I GET IT, YES, YES," I laugh, covering her mouth, her muffled voice tickling my palm. "You're right! I'm not."

I feel sand seep into my shoes but still persist in covering her mouth.

"Stop talking, and I'll let go!"

Quinn groans and rolls her eyes, and I immediately feel her warm breaths slow down.

I let go of her, hesitantly.

"Thank you," She smiles, sucking in her lips. Her eyes widen wildly, "YEAH, WE-"

"QUINN ERIN KELLY!"

She giggles softly and tilts her head, "Okay, I'll stop."

A silence dawns upon us as we stare out across the lake, admiring the cattails that made a sort of barrier for the people traveling the water, and beyond that was a treeline. They were only evergreens, and despite coming here every year, I still never knew what was past those trees.

The pebbles inside the sand start digging into my palm sharply. I tilt my head past Quinn and nod my head towards a chipmunk.

"I wonder if it'll start singing," I say out loud, looking the rodent straight in the eye.

Quinn laughs and begins singing 'Wonderwall' by Oasis.

What an angelic voice. It was quiet, but you could still hear it clearly, and feel the emotion in every note, every lyric. I look back at Quinn, smiling at myself, all the wistfulness in the world wash over me.

Oh, Quinn. She's my 'what could have been.' Because if she had stayed and had told us why she left without severing our ties with her, maybe Quinn and I could have lasted. And perhaps I wouldn't have had to go through all those sickening emotions and toxicity by the tail end of my last relationship, the one that left me in literal pieces at my pinky, and my heart.

Although, now that I think about it, if Quinn's departure never happened, I wouldn't have matured as much because the break-up between me and my last girlfriend wouldn't have happened. If we go further, I wouldn't have met Skye, a girl more exquisite and perfect in my eyes. At that point in my life, I never thought I'd meet someone so impossibly perfect, and fate put her in my path.

Everything happens for a reason, one might say. But I think when something happens, the events that transpire are somewhat in your hands, too. Every decision, every choice, all leads to some end goal or no end goals. Life's end goal is death, and we can't waste our lives, making pointless decisions that are only pointless because we don't understand why or how we made them in the first place. This is also called making mistakes, and whether or not you choose to suffer and learn from the consequences is entirely in your hands as well. Just as long as we learn from mistakes, we'll never repeat them.

I fell victim to repeating mistakes. That's why I'm wise now, or close to it. I learned, forgave, and moved on. Quinn taught us all that, how to move on. She even told us before she left to move on and to remember her lessons, even if we were so incredibly mad at her. Quinn cared about us enough that she didn't want us to hurt ourselves over and over again and be oblivious to what was causing our pain.

So, when I make mistakes now, I remember her lessons, even if I forget they were her lessons. They've been engraved onto our brains that we hardly ever forget them. Hell, I think a few of us have already forgotten it was Quinn, who taught us how to have fun, how to handle this, that, fuck!

I nearly forgot this girl, this one person out of seven billion people, was not perfect by any means, but always tried to be perfect just for us so that we could live life how it should be lived. She became imperfect to make us feel perfect.

Quinn had an over appreciation for life; we almost suspected she was going to die soon because of how much love she had for life itself. The smallest fly was sacred to her, and the rocks, though not alive, were just as sacred. Her empathy for people who mistreat her is profound and mind-boggling because of how quickly she forgives and moves on. We still have trouble moving on from the smallest shit we have to deal with, and that just says something about Quinn. She must have been through so much. Even after dating and getting to know her for a while, I still did not know everything about her, none of us did.

I mean, you can't know everything about a person, but Quinn was the one out of all our friends, that was so easy to learn from, yet we barely knew a single thing about her. If we tried prying out some answers, she just shrugged, told us not to worry about her, and smiled, claiming that we will know everything about her in time. Every time Quinn told us that, and I appreciate her for that. She was her own person but also the people's person, introverted and extroverted.

I anxiously scratch and pick at my arm hair, still listening to Quinn sing. The song ends, prompting several clapping hands behind us. Quinn scratches her cheek and smiles, her eyes closing.

"You ain't the chipmunk I was talking about."

Quinn only laughs, "Yeah, I just wanted to sing."

I let my hands sink into the sand before falling down on my elbows.

"How have you been, Quinn? Really?" I ask her, concerned about if something did happen to her.

Quinn shrugs, smiling at the body of water washing on and off the shore, "I've been okay. Nothing really happened in my life after we parted ways."

She looks at me, the same concerned look on her face.

"Have you been doing well for yourself?"

I glance away from her, focusing on the almost microscopic pebble buried in the sand. I want to lie to her, I really do. There's no reason to bring my stupid problems into her life again. I don't like lying, and I would have done it if it wasn't for my honest self always shining through.

"Lately? Like this past week?"

Quinn shakes her head, "No, since I left." There this heaviness in her voice like she knew something happened.

"C'mon," She calls, standing up and dusting herself off, and fluffing her hair. "Let's walk and talk; we'll probably run into the others if we start right now."

I stand up and sigh heavily.

"I don't wanna just pour that all out on you, Bub," I admit as we begin walking along the concrete path.

Quinn slips a hand in mine, a near-perfect fit, "Don't be afraid to tell me. No matter how bad it is, I'll be here for you now."

"That's the thing," I gulp. "I don't want to burden you with my problems again. You don't deserve that."

She rubs her thumb against my hand, and the shade cast by the various trees momentarily darkens her face. I only see her ocean coloured eyes in the darkness that not even the rays of sunlight could compete with. The blue shine continually reassures me that it is okay to tell her that Quinn had not changed since she last left. As she said before, our habits change, not who we are. But I doubt if her habits changed at all.

"We don't ever deserve anything, life just throws us a pouch, and we have to work with what's inside," Quinn barely glances at me, only flashing me a corner of her face. She musters up a somber smile, convincingly trying to hide the sleep deprivation she probably had the night before, or worse. "And we can choose to share what's inside the pouches to people we love so they won't be so heavy to carry. Tell me."

This is the hard part. I don't even know where to begin. Do I start with the beginning of grade 11? Even though I was with a girl who made me feel loved and accepted, I scarcely clung onto the ledge of the hole of addiction - something that still affects my life today. Or do I start off in May? The fucked-up, traumatizing, horrific break-up that I somehow survived mentally, well, getting there anyways. It still hurts to think about it; I didn't have to think about it if it weren't for having to confront Quinn about all my problems.

The past few weeks have been bliss, the alcohol and melatonin and happy pills keeping my thoughts in check felt like a plus, but even with all those combined, Skye is the only person that makes those horrible nightmares go away. Not all heroes wear capes. Instead, she wears black lipstick and goth clothing.

My hero is the Goth Queen herself, what more could I ask? She isn't just a crutch to me; she makes me want to do more to help, to be me again, before this dreaded year.

I wish I could do more for Skye than she does for me, that's always where my mind roams off too in the little corner in my head. I seem to think about that every time I remind Skye of my promise: to always be there and do anything for her.

"Andre," Quinn whispers softly.

"Why are you whispering?" I whisper back, playfully squeezing her hand.

She giggles, "Because we're in a dark cave."

What an imagination, huh? Then again, the trees are thick enough that they darken this part of the pathway considerably, only tiny heaps of sunlight are let in, usually little triangles on the edges of the concrete.

I laugh along with her, pointing at the end of the tunnel, "There's the light at the end of the tunnel!"

"Will you tell me there?" Quinn suddenly asks again, still not forgetting nor giving up. "Please? I've run out of heartfelt things to say."

I exhale sharply, a smile tugging at my lips, "Alright. I will."

Skye's POV

I angrily sit myself down onto a park bench, overlooking the lake.

"I can't! I don't know why I feel this way!"

"You're jealous," Thu Thu sits down closely next to me, her thigh brushing up against mine. She wraps an arm around my shoulder, hugging me tightly. "It's okay to admit it, Skye. Everyone's felt jealousy before."

I scoff at her remark, "How am I supposed to admit it when my feelings for him aren't even that big of a deal? In plus, I don't even know how jealousy is supposed to feel."

Marjorie huffs, standing in front of me, her tall, cold shadow looming over me. Soon after, a cloud masks the sun behind it, sending a cold and refreshing breeze our way as people scatter around the beach huddle themselves and their children with blankets or towels. The lake loudly and vigorously laps onto the showers, sending wave after wave crashing against unsuspecting kayaks and paddleboats.

"Did you get taller?" I ask Marjorie, staring up at her, quipping.

She firmly flicks my forehead, shushing me sharply.

I wince from the pain and whimper quietly, rubbing my forehead with my fingers, "What the hell was that for?"

"Listen!" Marjorie snaps. This is the second time she's snapped at me in the past month, I can't say I don't blame her. I'll confess right now that I am quite the handful to deal with, only Andre and John having extreme patience to put up with me.

I sigh deeply, glancing up at Marjorie reluctantly, "What is it?"

Marjorie's face suddenly calms, I can somehow see her face even inside the temporary darkness the sky is blanketed in.

"When you saw other kids your age before, and even now, when you see us or anyone your age with parents who actually care about them," Marjorie gulps, unknowingly flashing her uncertainty at me. "How do you feel?"

All the lights flicker in my head as the sun's warmness finally came crashing down on us again.

Her question, her statement rings in my head like church bells on a Sunday afternoon. To be honest, I felt quite thankful for those kids that didn't have to go through what I have too, but there was something else there. It didn't sit right with me.

I almost wished that those kids, unbeknownst to the blessing that they have and will forever have, had to experience my family's wrath. That was years ago.

I also constantly still question why I was given such horrible parents and not others. I later learned from my own means that that ignorance would be the death of me, and I would end up like the very people who hate me.

But why me? Why did the universe, God, whoever-the-fuck, give me this horrible life? I'm sure many, many people have and had to go through what I'm dealing with right now. But, out of 7 billion fucking people, I was born into that family.

"I felt.." I hesitated to even glance back up at Marjorie anymore. "I felt like shit. How could I have been so unlucky to be born into a family like that? And seeing other kids, it made me thankful to see them striving and not having to deal with my shit, but I felt as if it wasn't fair I couldn't have their childhood."

"That's close to jealous," Thu Thu holds up a finger. "It's that feeling you get when you see someone having the something or someone you always wanted. For example, you like Andre, yes?"

"I don't-"

"Mhm, you do," Thu Thu puts her finger on my lips. "Seeing him with Quinn makes you feel as if your chances of being with him and getting him to fall for you are growing incredibly slim because: 1. She's his ex. And 2. They probably have the most amazing chemistry. And 3. They've probably done the-"

"I GET IT, THU THU!" I scream, attracting a few walking onlookers to take a second glance at me. "Like I said, I don't view my feelings as a big deal."

Thu Thu shakes her head, an unwavering denial radiating off of her, "You'd be lying to yourself if you kept telling yourself that."

My blood boils, if I were to poke myself with a sharp pin, blood would spurt out like steaming waterfalls. I can almost hit her but can't get myself to go through with it because she's right. I lean on my palms, rubbing my eyes.

If I keep denying my feelings, I'd be disobeying what Lance has told me before.

"Don't scream at Thu Thu," John suddenly appears in front of me. I jolt my head up, squinting at him against the sun. "She's overly-sensitive."

Thu Thu gasps, then a frown pulls her lips towards the ground, "Hey... I'm not."

"Exhibit A," John swivels around behind her, patting her shoulders. "It was only a joke, but I guess you proved a point?"

"Can we go back to the tent?" I immediately turn to Marjorie, who is now behind me and the bench. "I don't want Andre seeing me like this."

John kneels down in front of me. At first, I think he's about to give me another sentimental talk, but then he starts to giggle profusely.

"What's funny?"

"Go to the tent then," John snorts and stands up, sighing. "I would go back to help to whatever you all need, but Nick, Miguel, and Tagu wanna go fishing right now. Dinner'll be too small."

I glare at him and roll my eyes, "Go fishing, then."

"Nope, you can't say the same thing I said when I've already said it," he replies hastily, glancing behind me. "Oh look, there's Nick with the rods. He looks troubled." He turns to us briefly, before running off. "See you guys later."

"Bye, Jolo," Marjorie tries to tell him, but he's already too far gone. She starts walking, her arms crossed, and back to where we once were. "Let's go, we need quietness, the crowd out here is too big."

Thu Thu follows suit, and it takes me a few seconds before I stand back up. The spiral in my head keeps rotating, the envious feelings I hate so much simmer. It reminds me of my parents, too.

If my parents ever heard of anyone more successful than them, they'd do absolutely anything they could to put them into the ground, either by buying whatever makes them better or through force and business deals.

I don't want to end up like that. I don't want to go against simple good morality to get what I want, hell I can't even decide if I want Andre or not.

I like him, but it's hard to just simply admit it. Maybe if he knew about my feelings, he'd see my jealousy quite easily, because right now he doesn't. He doesn't because he thinks my feelings for him are only limited to friendship.

Marjorie unzips the tent, letting us go inside first. Thu Thu's stuff is already neatly arranged within the small space.

"How's my tent?" I teasingly smirk at her and sprawl myself onto the rug she placed down. "Nice rug."

Thu Thu sits on her air bed, delighted, "It's nice. Thanks for lending it to me. And my mom told me to bring the rug; I don't know why."

"Thank God she did," I sigh in relief. "So? We have our quiet now, M.J. What else do you need to tell or ask me?"

Marjorie's POV

"Why don't you just tell him you like him?" I blurt, my arms dangling at my sides as I leaned on Thu Thu's shoulder.

Skye's face lights up, her eyes falling to the rug.

It's a valid question. They've explicitly shown each other the attraction they had between them, but at this point, I thought they'd be together.

I knew Andre would screw up; I knew he would somehow, someway spill his feelings out along with his guts. It's always bound to happen. That's how his last three relationships were.

He'd confess first, either on accident or deliberately, and that'd be enough to charm anyone.

He accidentally spilled to Quinn, and when she told us she seemed so relieved, and so she told him too.

With Indigo, he told her deliberately, and his stupid yet fantastic charm won her over. But we all know how that went.

I thought Skye would've spilled her feelings after she told us what happened. She even spent her homeless nights with Andre until we left for this trip.

She was bound to spill her guts, and she should've done it right after he did it.

But she didn't, she's either playing this really smart or really, really stupid.

Skye sighs heavily, her eyes flashing us the same heaviness she feels in her heart, "It's not that simple."

"It better get real simple real soon," Thu Thu implies. "He already told you that he did, so why not tell him right after that? You may have missed your chance."

She thinks for a moment, rubbing the slightly darkened crevices of her eyes, "He told me on accident, he wasn't planning on it, unless he's that much of an idiot."

"...Or a genius," I shrug, pursing my lips. "What does that have to do with this anyway?"

"Because, Marjorie," Skye slumps. "If he told me on accident, then he wasn't planning on telling me at all. If I had confessed, it would've overwhelmed him, and honestly, I didn't think past what would happen after that."

Thu Thu rolls her eyes and groans, "Less thinking, more doing!"

"I'm trying but," Skye gulps. "We agreed that night that we wouldn't pursue each other or anything and just stay friends because-"

"YOU WHAT?"

I nearly fall forward after standing up inside the tent so suddenly.

Skye staggers back, "Wha- what?"

I crawl towards her and shake her shoulder, profusely, "WHAT THE FUCK DID Y'ALL DO?"

"HE'S THE ONE THAT TOLD ME WE SHOULD STAY FRIENDS," She clarifies, stuttering. "I had to agree with him. I just gave him the reasons why he might want that, and he agreed."

Andre Macatangay, that stupid son of a bitch. His one chance of getting with her, he fucking ruins it somehow.

"What were the reasons?" Thu Thu kneels next to me, pulling me off of Skye.

The redhead's mouth twitch, hesitant to answer her question.

"That we were taking things too fast," She replies. "Come to think of it, I learned what a rebound was. I'm afraid that I'm his after Indigo."

Skye's expression plummets, I notice a sad shine in her eyes, tears welling up as she refuses to look at my face.

Thu Thu stares at her sadly, "No, Andre isn't like that."

"As much as I want to believe that, I still respect his decision too-"

"To hell with Andre!" I scream and scooch over next to her. "He didn't do that for just that reason, Skye! God, he's gonna kill me. He likes you a lot, a lot! He texts me about you non-stop, 24/7! The reasons he made that agreement with you, I don't know. You just gave him a list of em,' and he had no choice to agree."

Hope glimmers in the dark of her eyes.

Thu Thu sits in front of her, lifting her chin, "Look, Skye. Maybe he was testing you. Maybe he wanted you to give him those reasons, so he made sure he wouldn't screw up more by escalating it. You aren't his rebound."

All that hope I saw earlier in her eyes faded. "How do you know for sure I'm not? You aren't Andre; we don't know what he's thinking," Skye grumbles, falling back onto the floor and rubbing her face. "Marjorie, listen. If he agreed with me that easy, maybe he meant it. Maybe he and I are just going to stay friends. It's what he said he wanted."

"Are you kidding me?" My words shiver with anger. "He looks at you like you're his whole world!"

Skye jerks her head up at me, disbelief etched on her face.

"Don't look at me like that! I'm being serious!"

"Sorry," She sits up and purses her lips. She studies my face, trying to force herself to believe the truth. "How do you know for sure?"

Thu Thu scratches behind her ears, then reaching her hands to grab Skye's, "We've noticed it. Everyone else has noticed it, hell, even Quinn noticed. She could tell right away that Andre has a big crush on you."

Skye watches the floor blankly, before taking a breath and falling into Thu Thu's arms.

"Look, I know you're incredibly jealous of Quinn right now," She continues, the softness in her voice digging its way into Skye's mind. She rubs her back, soothingly. "But, the Quinn we knew wasn't one to intervene in two people's romance, she's a flirt, but she knows her boundaries. She's the most mature out of all of us."

She laments, sitting up straight with eyes closed. "Okay," She says with a hint of frustration in her voice. "I believe you."

"SHIT! THERE HE IS RIGHT NOW!" I yelp, pointing at the tent's window frame.

Skye's chest flares, and she turns around immediately, excitement radiating off of her in waves. Her eyes meet ours, eyebrows creased.

"My bad," I shrug smugly. "I guess it wasn't."

"You suck, Marjorie," She rolls her eyes, crawling to the door. "Let's go. I'm pretty sure the boys could've caught something by now."

Skye unzips the door, the light from the outside pouring inside the tent. She hops out, gesturing us to follow her.

Thu Thu glances at me with a smile before exiting the tent, stretching out her arms as the sun hits her face.

I peek out from a gap in the door and see Lance and Julianna lying down on hammock they'd set up earlier. They were fast asleep, Lance having his arm shielding his eyes, and the other wrapped tightly around Julianna's shoulder.

Skye scurries past them, turning the corner past a hedge on the left side of the dirt road.

"Wrong way," I call out to her, being careful not to talk too loudly.

She twirls quickly, awkwardly stumbling to keep her balance as she rushes back to us.

She rolls up her sleeves, and her breath turns into a light pant, fluffing her shirt up and down to stay cool.

"Are you sure you don't want to wear something more suit for summer?" Thu Thu walks into step with Skye, wandering past the main park and into a nature path leading to the fishing dock.

Skye awkwardly rolls her shoulders and relaxes, "I'm fine. There's probably shade there, right?"

"Hopefully," I wipe the sweat dripping off my forehead with the back of my palm. "I might have to take off my windbreaker."

Thu Thu bursts into a scream, jumping up and shaking vigorously.

"Andre! You stupid bitch!" She firmly slaps him repeatedly on the head and bites his shoulder.

He screams in pain and laughter. "Hey! Stop! It was all fun and games!" Andre shields his head and scampers past her next to Skye.

She doesn't say a word to him, only focusing on each tree passing by on her right side.

"Skye-with-an-e," He giggles and nudges her shoulder. Still no reaction. "I missed you."

Skye's back straightens, her chest puffing again and gulping loudly, "I uh, missed you too? We were only gone for a couple hours."

"Those couple hours felt like days!" Andre holds his heart, swaying back and forth as if he were to fall any second.

She bites her lip, stifling the smile that nearly escapes her lips, "Cheeseball."

"It's true, I'd never lie to you," He pokes her forehead, keeping a tacklebox closely against the side of his thigh.

Thu Thu clears her throat, "Since we're not being assholes and scaring each other, may I ask where Quinn went?"

Andre giggles, swiveling around and walking backward, "She went back to her campsite to ask her parents if she could join us for dinner. We have a lot of food anyway for just one meal."

"Oh! That's great. She promised she'd catch up with us girls, including the two newbies joining us," I skip ahead of Andre and Skye, who are walking unbearably slow. "You guys are taking your sweet time, aren't you?"

Andre spins back around, scoffing at Marjorie, "We ain't going too slow, you're just thinking too fast."

I stick my tongue out over my shoulder before I hear water splashing lightly against a shore.

"We're here anyway," he says behind me.

I see John sitting by the ledge, holding a fishing rod anxiously. His foot rapidly shakes, turning around to gesture at us.

His headband flows slightly with the light winds hitting us from the other side of the lake.

"Any luck?" Andre asks, taking a fishing rod leaning against one of the dock's benches and setting his tacklebox next to Nick's.

John disappointedly shakes his head, wiping the sweat off his face with his shirt before placing it back between his legs, "I switched to a rig because the lure isn't doing much for any of us. Except for Miguel. I guess the fish on that side like his lure."

The dock is an ample size for a group of six or seven people. There's a person limit on the pier of 13 people according to the rusty sign hung up on a tree before we stepped on.

It's built into an alcove, similar to the one we found earlier, but there's no sandy area, just a ledge if it weren't for the dock being built.

I notice Skye staring at Andre dreamily, her head relaxed, and chin resting on the palms of her hands. It seems like she's checking him out, Andre isn't much to look at so I don't understand the appeal, but she's seemingly staring at his exposed shoulders. His arms are sort of thin, his left one was injured back in 7th grade and has a slight bend at its peak just past his hand.

I startle Skye by jumping on to the bench, making the entire dock shake on one side. She nearly stumbles forward, and her glare soon meets my face.

"Marjorie," She stares at me with scrunched brows. "The lot of us could've fallen into the water."

I chuckle, puffing my cheeks, "Sorry, just wanted to snap you out of dirty thoughts."

"Excuse me?" Skye huffs heavily, slumping back into the bench.

"You were in the middle of checking Andre out," I whisper close to her ear.

She staggers her head back, her eyebrows still furrowed, "No, I wasn't!"

I raise an eyebrow and cross my arms, "That sounds like a lie."

"What sounds like a lie?" Andre appears next to me, throwing a line out away from the others and drawing the line back. "If I catch a pickerel for us, we eating good boys."

The guys cheer, except John, who's still as focused as when we got here, only raising his hand for a second before attending to his own business again.

"...And girls," Skye mutters awkwardly.

Andre briefly pokes her forehead, "Don't worry, Goth Queen. We'll feed you the most tonight." He winks at her before turning back out at the lake.

Skye's face flushes red once he looks away, she glances at the stained wooden boards next to her feet. Her red hair dances with the silent, calm winds, and the dock weaves as the small pulses of water come crashing back.

"Shit!" Andre and Nick chorus in unison.

Tagu shakes awake at the sudden screams of the two boys. She had been asleep on the other bench with the tackle boxes next to her.

"What the fuck, you two? Didn't I tell you to be quiet?" She swiftly smacks the back of John's neck.

He winces the pain, grunting as he massages the newly-formed red spot on him, "That wasn't me!"

Tagu looks guilty for a second, but it washes away after she smiles giddily, and putting her glasses on, "Sorry."

"Marjorie- fucking hell- SOMEONE GRAB THE NET!" Andre demands, struggling to reel against the force pulling at the end of his rod.

Skye calmly stands up and reaches over to grab the net from Tagu. She kneels next to Andre's legs, ready to net the fish if it reaches the dock.

Andre tugs, but the fish refuses to give up.

"Gotcha, bitch!" Nick holds up his line with a juicy and narrow fish. "Northern Pike, John! This guy is gonna taste amazing once he's gutted and cooked up."

John slumps his back, getting up and reeling in his rod. "I'm gonna replace the bait," John's voice sounds of disappointment.

Soon, all eyes are on Andre, still amidst a fierce battle between him and this supposedly big fish.

"This better be gigantic, Andre," Nick snickers, holding up his fish boastfully.

"FUCKING MIND YOUR BUSINESS FOR ONE SECOND," Andre roars loudly, and with one final tug, his line leaves the water. Skye quickly nets the catch, passing the net to him.

"IT'S A BIG ONE! HOLY FUCK!" Andre cheers and hits his chest. "WE EATING GOOD! THIS WALLEYE IS GONNA FILL US UP LATER FOR SURE!"

He quickly looks over at Nick before taking the hook out of his fish's mouth, "You got it dispatched already?"

Nick nods, "Yup, it's already in the cooler."

I sniff, scrunching my nose in disgust, "Jesus, this dock smells like butts."

"You just noticed?" Tagu tilts her head, getting up and watching Nick help Andre dispatch his catch.

I nod, shifting my attention to Jolo, who's stupidly standing up on the bench where Tagu sat.

"What do you think you're doing?" I walk up inches away from him.

John undoes his headband and tosses the sweaty thing my way. I'm forced to catch it, but immediately toss it onto the tackle boxes.

I grimace at him, "That's disgusting."

"It's just sweat," John shrugs. "And to answer your question. According to my genius hypothesis, if I'm higher up, all the fishes are gonna have to swim up higher to get the bait. Therefore I guaranteed myself a catch."

He pokes the side of his head with three fingers and casts his line.

Tagu wobbles to him; concern etched on her face, "I don't think that's a good-"

All too soon, John's line starts pulling away from him, the tip of the rod gravitating towards the water.

"I FUCKING TOLD YOU!" John pumps his fists and begins to reel with all his might. At first, it looks as if his line is about to snap, but it holds on quite well.

John snaps his rod backward, his back leaning awfully close past the bench.

The rod shakes and buzzes, and soon we see a medium-sized fish surfacing the water quickly. Wow, I guess his hypothesis was correct.

"SHIT!" He begins to scream and lose his balance in an instant. The fish leaps out of the lake, and John falls into the water behind him. Andre incapacitates it and takes hold of it by its gills.

The murky waters below conceal John's position in the water. Tagu and Skye kneel on the ledge in a panic and start searching for him.

"Where the fuck did he go?" Tagu's voice quivers, it's jarring hearing her this scared. She starts splashing water away to get rid of the dirt and mud on the surface.

Skye pulls her hand away to stop, "That isn't helping. You might disorientate him if he sees or feels that splashing."

John thankfully surfaces, shaking off the water in his hair. He floats, his glasses still intact, and a massive smile on his face.

"Did you get it?" He beams calmly and hangs onto the ledge of the dock.

Andre beams with delight and holds another pickerel up high, "Great fucking job, that hypothesis worked."

The two other boys laugh, nearly slipping and falling into the lake themselves.

Tagu scowls at John coldly, "ARE YOU STUPID? YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN HURT."

Skye chuckles behind Andre, helping him place the fish into the cooler.

"He's not stupid," She looks over at John, who stumbles onto the dock and slips, almost falling back into the water. "Just disastrously irresponsible."

John shudders as he climbs back onto the dock, he glances at me and flashes a crooked smile, "You don't happen to have the towel right now, do you?"

"If I did have it, I wouldn't give it to you anyway," I chuckle and sit back down on the bench.

Andre kneels by the edge of the seat, dipping his hands into the water to wash off the fish slime.

"That was a drag," He groans, sitting next to me. "I smell like fish now."

Skye laughs sarcastically, "We all do."

She turns to sit down on the edge of the dock, her feet hovering above the water. John sits next to her, shivering and laughing about something Skye had said.

I shift my attention to Andre and tap his shoulder, leaning in to whisper in his ear, "What did you and Quinn talk about?"

"My problems," He says blankly. "You think she'll dip out on us again?"

"Who? Quinn?" I scoff.

Andre nods sadly, biting his lip, "I never realized how much I missed her until I talked to her. She did so much for us, it was hard for us to transition in life without her there."

He has a point. Quinn was the light we all needed during our dark times back then. She was as young as us but somehow smarter and wiser. Now, older doesn't mean wiser, and younger doesn't mean the opposite, but we never had life-changing experiences to help us understand what she taught us.

And somehow, she did. Her words and actions were something no 12-13-year-old would say or do.

Thinking back on it now, she helped us a lot, and when she left, it hurt all of us. We all knew we needed her friendship and support to guide us, we were all so lost after.

But the funny thing is, it's great that Quinn left. We all matured because of what she taught us, and in time, her lessons helped us get over his departure. The only thing we wished we did was to give her more of our time, appreciation, and gratitude. She did so much for us, yet we barely did anything for her.

Now that she's back with us, we can repay our long-overdue debts. Quinn isn't an open person, yet she acts like one. We may never know how many demons hide under her bed, or how many problems she has to go through behind closed doors. The least we can do is support her and love her, just as we should've done before.


	33. When I Need You

Camping: Day 1  
2:53 p.m.  
July. 22, 2019

Marjorie's POV

"She won't leave us again," Tagu suddenly blurts next to me, a small crack in her voice. This causes Nick, John, and Skye to turn their attention to us. "If she does, I'll riot. I can't go through that again."

Nick and John shake their heads and look back out onto the lake.

Skye gazes at us, confused. I can feel the urge to question us radiate out of Skye, but she nudges John instead to continue their conversation.

Andre huffs, sucking in his bottom lip. The sadness in all their eyes jumps out at me, like sparks flicking off the ends of fireworks.

"She said she moved back, if she does leave then we'll know it's important again," Andre tries to move around the thought with another possibility. "No one just moves back and then leaves again."

"Some people do that," Miguel snickers frigidly. "The fact that she still won't tell us boggles my mind. We've always wanted to help her out, but she'd rather do more for us."

"That's a good thing," Andre replies quickly. "But... she does seem to closet herself. She always seems happy, if there was anything wrong she wouldn't say anything about it. She hates it when people worry about her or pity her."

"Did she ever tell you anything when y'all were dating?" Nick undoes his fishing rod, resting it on the cooler of fish. 

He shakes his head, "No, and I had to respect her wishes. I think I hurt her more than I did good, I-"

John chucks a stick at Andre's head, "Shut up."

He rubs his forehead and gazes at John remorsefully, "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying sorry," Skye blurts and abruptly stands up. "Look at me, Macatangay. People like Quinn, they're bound to come back."

"What do you mean?"

"She has nothing to hide from you all," She gulps. "She loves you all, it's obvious you all still mean like family to her. She won't leave, and if she moves away again, she'll do her best to stay in touch. You guys were younger before, she didn't have the freedom she has now, so don't worry about it."

All of us stay silent, all gazing at Skye remorsefully.

"She probably didn't tell you guys why she left because she didn't know how to handle it. You all were 13 at the time, including her. When we were that age, the world was big. Now that we're all growing up, the world just got a bit smaller. If you spend too long dwelling on the past, you won't be able to appreciate what the present gives you," She says with a quick smile. "You guys were lucky, I had no family in eighth grade, nor did I have any before or after that."

"You have us," Miguel walks up next to her. "We're your family now."

Skye purses her lips and shakes her head, "We'll see."

She begins to walk away from the dock, gliding past Andre without a single glance at him.

"Where are you going?" Nick tilts his head as she walks away, still cleaning and fixing the rods.

"Thu Thu walked out a while ago," Skye shrugs, a neutral expression plastered across her face. "She told me she had to run an errand with Julianna and Lance. I may as well go help them."

She saunters back onto the nature trail and disappears in the thick of the trees.

Andre rubs his face, letting out a deep breath, "She's right. If we spend too much time dwelling on what happened, Quinn's return could be an absolute waste."

We all nod, feeling sorry that Skye had to dig us out of a hole again.

It makes me wonder whether Skye is going to do the same thing, leave. Though she hasn't said anything explicitly, and she shows very obvious that she does care, she's still hesitant to let herself fully open up to us. Andre's seen the most of how much she cares, and how much she's been hurting, but for the rest of us, we don't know. Hell, not even Andre knows. There are times she's hesitant towards him despite the connection between them.

And if she does leave, it'll feel the same. That we didn't do enough for her, and if she leaves on her own terms, then we didn't do enough to get her to stay. It's all about how much we give Skye back, she's never had a real family, and I can't say a group of weirdos is a great first choice. We're the most dysfunctional group of people, and we all disbanded once. All of us are just reconnecting, camping is one of the first steps to having what we once had, and the timing couldn't have been better with Quinn returning.

We'll do our best to make Skye feel welcome, and to give her the home she's never once had in her life. But if she leaves, I doubt she'll come back, and sometimes that's okay. Friendships end, but what I learned about family is that it's unbreakable, no matter how far someone goes.

Andre glances behind him, gesturing at Nick to give him the cooler, "I'll take it back to camp."

Nick winches it up, walking stiff-legged to him, "How long have we been here anyway?"

Tagu pulls out her phone, "It's three o'clock. We should start finding shit to burn in the firepit."

"It's way too early to start burning shit," John stutters, his teeth clattering. "Fucking hell, nevermind, we need a fire, I'm going to die of cold sickness."

John rushes past Andre, hugging himself.

"That ain't a real thing," Miguel calls out to him, turning to Tagu. "Go hug him warmer before he gets sick!"

Tagu scrunches her nose, "He smells like dead fish and muddy water."

Andre begins walking ahead, and I follow closely behind him, letting Miguel and Tagu drag behind me.

John's POV

"START A GODDAMN FIRE, NOW!" I sit down on a propped up log in front of the fire pit.

Julianna scrunches and pinches her nose, "Why do you smell like fish?"

"Long story: It starts off with me swimming in pussy."

I feel a hand smack the back of my neck again.

"Ow! Tagu stop- Oh, it's you," I snicker at Thu Thu, who proceeds to light a match and toss it into the pit with a couple of newspaper rolls. 

"I'd light you on fire if I could," Thu Thu raises an eyebrow and backs away from my fishy aroma. 

I toss random sticks and weeds around me into the pit to build up the flame. I'd probably have to take a shower and dry my clothes in the sun a little later. The pool closes at six, so I better do that once I'm warm enough.

I see Skye sitting on the park tables skewering some of the marinated pork.

"Hey, Skye."

She raises a brow at me before focusing back on making the food.

"Are you mad?"

"Why would I be?"

"Well, you stormed out pretty abruptly."

Skye shakes her head, "I didn't wanna be a bystander there, so I just gave you all some words and left. You guys didn't even notice Thu Thu leaving."

"Yeah, I was gonna get John a towel, but Julianna needed something," Thu Thu admits remorsefully. "Sorry for smacking you in the head."

"No, it's fine, I think I deserved it," I chuckle, seeing Andre and Marjorie in the distance talking. "Oh, sweet more food."

"Did they catch a lot?" Quinn's voice rings right next to my ear. I stagger back, startled.

"Jesus, Quinn!"

She laughs loudly, "Sorry. Now answer my question."

"They're at the limit. All of them combined have four fish, so you better eat lots later," I also gesture at Skye. "And that redhead over there is making Pork BBQ."

Quinn gasps and claps giddily, "Can I help you make those? I remember helping prepare those for a family gathering I went too!"

"Yeah, that was my birthday party," Lance groggily replies, still half-asleep on the hammock.

Skye sucks in her bottom lip, and she signals Quinn to take a seat next to her, "Knock yourself out."

She happily sits next to her, and a conversation erupts. I teasingly point at Skye, knowing that she doesn't do well with first meetings.

She glares at me and rolls her eyes before continuing back to preparing dinner and talking.

"Oh, Andre, don't forget about the hot dogs," I point to the second cooler we had under our little gazebo.

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry," He scratches his head, wiping the sweat off his forehead before getting up. "Nick, you wanna prepare the fish too? Skye bought Meat Magic seasoning."

"Sure!" Nick guides Andre into the gazebo's zipper door, and sigh as the ample shade cools them down.

The clouds did us no good today, all of them disappearing once we got back. I feel a pair of hands pat my back, then something soft rubbing the top of my head.

"Tagu, you don't need to wipe me down," I snicker and try pushing her away.

She clicks her tongue, "I'll throw you into the lake again if you don't let me."

I oblige and lean back into her, easing into her soft strokes and brushes. I look up at her and grin.

"You look amazing."

"I look sweaty and smell sweaty," She quips before adjusting her glasses and gazing at me thoughtfully. "You know I can hold the entire world in my hands?"

I furrow my eyebrows and shake my head, "Now, that's impossible-"

She suddenly wraps her arms around me, laying her head on top. of mine and pressing her hands against my cheeks, cupping them.

I feel my heart flutter, the warmth rising to my chest and cheeks in long intervals. I huff, my shaky breath rattling the air around it.

I gulp, chuckling awkwardly, "I have a reputation to maintain, do not make me feel like this."

Tagu replies to me with a small smile, pinching my cheeks even harder. She, unfortunately, let's go, letting out a sigh and stretching her back.

"I gotta help the girls with Dinner," Her lips tug into the corner of her mouth. "...And Andre with the fire, he's ruining."

"Am not!" He scoffs at us coldly. "I couldn't find any more matches or dry paper, so I put some logs in but it put out the fire."

"Were they wet?" Tagu trails off, approaching him.

They argue behind me while I'm still flustered to what Tagu did to me. I've never expected myself to feel like this, the giddiness in my stomach, the way my smile starts to hurt my face. And the sensation of a feather tickling the edges of my heart. I glance at Tagu, her tall, but adorable stature tending over the fire so horribly ruined by Andre. I had already set that a few moments ago, and he still managed to mess it up. 

I carefully gather a new set of clothes, tucking them inside a plastic bag and heading to the showers. 

I walk onto the dirt road and holler at everyone that I'm leaving, passing Miguel and Christie as they returned from their own walk.

Quinn's POV

"Where are you going?" I hear Miguel behind me.

Confused, I scrunch my eyebrows, "I'm not going any- Oh, you were talking to John."

He chuckles, "Hey, Quinn."

I smile at Miguel, shifting my attention to Christie and tilting my head at her, "Do you wanna help us? Skye and I are about finished."

Christie shyly tiptoes towards us, Miguel nudging her encouragingly until she takes a seat in front of Skye and me.

"Hello," She stutters nervously, her accent chorusing into my ears.

"Ugh, I still can't get over your accent!" I hand her a skewer. "Your hands are clean, yeah?"

She nods, looking over at what Skye is doing and following suit, "Like this?"

Skye glances up at her, momentarily, "Yup."

I smile widely at the two girls then turn my attention to Tagu and Andre tending to the fire. He smiles at me and waves, then Tagu snaps her fingers at him to keep his focus on making the fire.

I shake my head and stare up at the sun, still high in the sky.

I wonder if this is permanent, what we have right now. Unlike last time, I had to leave due to personal reasons I chose not to disclose with my friends. It's something that has plagued my life since I was a little girl.

It came in episodes, and at one point, I thought it was it. I thought I'd be gone.

But I didn't go, I was saved, I somehow survived. After that, I had this appreciation for life so great, that the moment my foot had touched the grass leaving the hospital, I felt this calmness, this gratefulness that opened my eyes to something much bigger than myself, and that was life.

I swallowed my pride and looked at myself in the mirror every day to see the beautiful girl I'd become. I did not let my disease define who I was, nor did I let it guide my life and let it control it. The only thing who could control myself and my life was me.

If I was known as just a girl with Rotterdam's Syndrome, I'd rather die than have a title like that when I knew I was something much more.

I didn't want to be known as 'Quinn: the Dying Girl."

That is why, when it came back, I didn't tell the others. At that point, none of my new friends knew because I didn't tell them. How could I? It was my business and most of all, I didn't know whether or not they'd give me that title.

Instead, I decided to show people I've met the appreciation of life all of us need, or else we may never have it again.

Some listened, some didn't care. However, when I moved to Saskatoon in sixth grade, I came into contact with this group of girls hanging out with my friend group at my elementary school. 

They were from a french school called St. Gerard, and their names were Marjorie, Tagu, Thu Thu, Julianna, and Mahleia.

Though from what I heard from Andre, Mahleia moved to Regina at the end of their first year of high school, and they've been missing her ever since.

At the time, Marjorie and Julianna added me to this Skype call, and I met these certain boys that played a big part in my life, even now.

Andre, John, Miguel, and Lance. 

The moment I joined the call, powered on my webcam, Andre began flirting with me. And he was damn good at it, considering he was a prepubescent 13-year-old.

Despite his immature approach, and despite how quiet the other three were, they all taught me how to be myself again, how to become apart of something bigger than life itself. 

I found my family, people who I could truly, truly trust.

John showed me that even during the worst times, I can laugh.

Miguel was always there to put encourage me to put words into my mouth, to be confident in how I spoke to others. That's why I'm so vocal, and without him, maybe I wouldn't have learned the things I do today.

Lance taught me it was okay to love, to let someone into your life. He taught me that feelings happened for a reason and that if I did feel them, I should go all in. Or else I might miss a chance of a lifetime. Feelings aren't there to be set aside, they're there to show you that your heart can sense that connection, and to let yourself know you can still love, that you can still feel.

"Done," Skye holds up her sticky hands, whipping them downward to remove any excess sauce. "I'm gonna wash my hands, you girls catch up."

Christie shyly nods, peering her eyes up at me, "Alright."

Skye smiles briefly before sauntering off onto the dirt road.

The Brit straightens her back and clears her throat, "So, uhm, what school do you go to? I haven't seen you around anywhere."

"I just moved back, if you're interested I went to a school called Grand Mountain High School," I reply a little too fast, but hopefully she had heard me.

Christie tilts her head, "Oh! I understand. Where is that?"

I shrug, "I can't say where. The others don't even know."

She nods, and her lips flash an even bigger smile, "I respect that, I promise I won't say a word. A simple Google search can expose you."

I totally forgot about that fact, if Christie were to tell them, they could search up my school's name. Luckily, she was careful about it and promised. There was this weight on my shoulders that gathered itself on me and left at the same time. 

"Do you want some food? The others brought a lot."

Christie points to Thu Thu's giant bag of almonds, smirking. 

"Thu Thu always did have a sweet tooth," I chuckle lightly. "We'll have to ask her first, though."

"Oh, of course," Christie politely rises from the table. "Let's wash our hands first. We can meet up with Skye."

"Sure! That'd be quite nice actually," I stand up and stretch.

Skye seemed like she wanted to keep her distance with me at first when we met and acted very aloof and hesitant when talking to me. But our conversation while preparing dinner was pretty okay. I did make her smirk once or twice with some not-so-subtle jokes, whether the laughs were intentional or not. She always gave me this half-smile, never smiling at me like how she smiled at the others and even Christie.

She was kind, though. She helped me with some skewers I messed up, fixing them right away, even if some were unsalvagable. Skye had barely said two words to me when we first met, and I could already tell she was a kind soul. Her helping me proved that assumption further.

We're a little ways past the hill, back onto a dirt path leading to the beach, the swimming pool washrooms and the pier with all the boats we can rent when we see John, Marjorie and Thu Thu heading toward us.

John waves and grins, "Where you girls headed?"

Miguel tends to Christie's side, the girl beginning to blush when he puts a shy arm around her.

"We were just off to wash our hands," I inform John. "You see Skye there?"

Marjorie nods and crosses her arms, "Mhm, she's in the washroom right now."

Marjorie flashes me a slight smile, something about the look on her face told me something was wrong.

I tilt my head and hover my sticky hands over her head. She jolts back with a laugh and touches her hair.

"Are you insane? I won't be able to clean my hair properly for a week! Don't try anything," Marjorie giggles, rushing past me. 

"Me too! I already got sauce on the tips of my hair!"

She argues back, "Yeah, well, you aimed for the top of my head! Harder to clean."

"Both of you are overreacting," A voice comments behind us. Skye snickers, waving her hands frantically for them to dry. "You better go get that cleaned, Quinn." She points to the parts of my hair covered in sauce.

I nod, "Yeah, I will. Can't let this red hair be unhealthy, too rare and pretty," I wink at Skye, who actually smiles briefly at me before sitting down on the stone frame surrounding a tree.

"She's right," Skye leans back. "Maintaining our hair to stay bright is hard, and my hair ain't even red. It's more of a copper colour than red."

John smirks and scoffs, "Copperhead."

"Shut up," Skye glares at him and rubs her forehead.

Marjorie sits down next to Skye and sighs, "You're still our favourite redhead, Skye."

"Yeah, she totally is," Andre appears next to my side. I frown.

"What about me?" I pout jokingly, my bottom lip sticking out.

Marjorie gestures me to sit next to her, "Don't worry, Quinn. We haven't forgotten about you."

"Hey, Andre," John nudges his shoulder as I went to take Marjorie's side. "Skye said her hair is more of a copper colour than red."

Andre's face matches John's amused expression. They look at each other funny, both holding in their laughs.

Andre giggles after he finds Skye, "Copperhead."

I noticed his eyes dilate as he met hers and her eyes did the same. A hint of jealousy sprinkles itself on me, but I set it aside. 

My feelings for Andre left long ago, but seeing and talking to him now reminds me of back then. Those same emotions are brewing in my stomach and my heart, but I think that is just the girl I was back then, coming out and reminding me of the memories of before.

Skye gasps a breath of disappointment, "I shouldn't have said anything."

I laugh loudly and realize I still have to wash my hands. I glance around our group and notice Christie had already left.

I get up quickly and saunter off into the washroom.

Luckily, I see her drying her hands. She sees me, and I give her a grin.

"Sorry about that," I shrug awkwardly. "I got caught up catching up with them."

Christie laughs at my remark, "It's quite okay. Miguel went to the washroom, too, so I went on my own as well."

She nods her head solemnly and leaves the washroom as I begin to wash the sticky sauce off my hands. The washroom was a very typical public washroom at national parks. It has the same, musky scent of chlorine, metal-framed windows just below the ceiling and rusty mirrors. The sinks were not half-bad though, but the water took longer to warm up. Not to mention, it's incredibly dim even when the windows above me. There are lights, but they only flicker slightly every second or so.

I waltz back into the bright outdoors, though the sun was turning into a brightish orange hue which coats the landscape in this trance of orange and red.

The building that has the washrooms and as well as the entrance of the pool is this rigid stone structure with a green framed roof. It has a prominent gaping pathway, and a little way past the washroom is a metal bar separating the two lines to get in and out of the pool. 

Julianna and Lance are in front of the building talking to Marjorie and Skye, still seated at one of the trees. They both wave at me.

"Hey there, you two," I pat their backs. "Missed me yet?"

"For three years, yes," Julianna flashes me a melancholy smile, bringing me into a quick hug.

I saunter back quietly next to Marjorie and lean on her soldier. Skye had been doing the same thing, and Marjorie raises her hand to massage our faces. 

"Marjorie..." Skye sounds slightly embarrassed.

I lean into it more, closing my eyes in complete relaxation.

"It's 5:17, guys," Andre says. I open one eye and see the boys sitting down on the paved road. "I can't believe the sun is almost set. It's usually still up high at this time."

John chuckles, "Pikelake timezone."

Lance scoffs, "Yeah, sure."

The other boys laugh at John's joke.

"What? It isn't a joke, there's a different timezone here, I swear."

"Is that why this day felt so incredibly long?" Andre questions John, leaning forward to look at him.

"Yes, exactly!"

Andre rolls his eyes, "You're high."

Nick hops up and takes a huff, "We should probably start cooking dinner, yeah?"

He looks between the girls and the boys and smiles, "We can all cook and do something. Julianna can bring out her secret stash.

Andre is the first to stand up, "MARSHMALLOW ROASTING BY THE WAY! AFTER DINNER!"

Skye stands up, a small frown tugging at her lips, "I forgot to tell you, Andre. We ran out of bamboo skewers."

"Already?" He purses his lips and curls his brows. "We had enough for the entire week."

She nods sadly, "Sorry."

"Why the long face? You seem like you wanna roast marshmallows more than I do."

Skye's face flushes pink when she notices all the eyes staring at her, "No! It's just, I feel bad for using all skewers."

I raise a hand, "In your defense, Skye. Christie and I were helping you."

"Yeah and Marjorie and I prepared one batch," Thu Thu shrugs.

Andre scratches his cheeks, "Can you all chill? I left extra in the car, Skye can have her roasting marshmallow session."

The group erupts into a peal of small laughter.

Skye's face is now a deep crimson red. She sighs, "I'm leaving."

Andre chases after her, "Hey! C'mere, I'll walk you back,"

He puts an arm around her as she seems to stiffen up and back away. Eventually, she does lean into him before they disappear in the distance.

Skye's POV

I sit down on a log in front of the fire we irresponsibly left unattended, but Andre and I got here in time.

He had left a few minutes ago to get the extra skewers out of his car, and as well as my acoustic guitar.

For the record, I wasn't opposed to not roasting marshmallows, but that doesn't mean I want to. They teased me, and honestly, I'm getting used to that presence they give. Even when they are sometimes very annoying, that just lets my mind know I can be as irritating and they won't give a fuck.

"You need bug spray?" Andre whistles to get my attention. In his right hand, he has the green ziplock bag full of the bamboo skewers, and in his left, he has a Bluetooth speaker. 

"You're not carrying any bug spray," I tell him and lean on my palm. "Pass me the guitar."

He puts the items in his hands to the park table and takes off the guitar bag strapped around his back. 

I take it from him and lean it against the tree. 

"You aren't going to play?" Andre asks me, confused. He slides his phone from his pocket and takes the Bluetooth speaker off the table. 

I shake my head, "No, I had the same idea as you." I smile at me fondly.

His face lights up, and he leaves a blank expression planted on his face. I had a feeling he'd want to slow dance. Even since we woke up today, I could read his mind on what he wanted to do on the chance he had me alone.

I stand up, walking towards him and take his hand. He tightens his grip, and the blank expression turns into one of the happiest smiles I've ever seen him give me.

The Bluetooth speaker beeps on, and he searches for a song on his phone in his free hand.

He puts the Bluetooth speaker on a log far away from the fire, and he breathes in.

The beginning tune to Can't Help Falling in Love starts ringing, and I groan bitterly.

"I don't wanna dance to this song," I roll my eyes, but a smile escapes my lips.

Andre purses his lips slightly, "Why not?"

"We listened to it in the car."

"And? We didn't dance to it, though," He argues.

I sigh, "You know how I feel about this song. I just don't like the vibe it gives me."

Andre would usually argue his standstill, but he nods his head, "Alright, I respect that I guess. How about you pick the song."

I shrug and take his phone. Most of Andre's songs were from the 70s-90s, and not much of them were slow songs. I kept scrolling through the playlist and clicked my tongue for a while.

"You pick the song," I hand the phone back.

Andre smirks, "I'll find a song that doesn't sound cheesy, don't worry."

I know that's a lie, but I just went with it. Honestly, I'd wanted to slow dance with him as much as he probably wants to with me. I was waiting so long for him to take me back to camp alone that I just up and went, knowing he'd follow me. Of course, it was after all the teasing, and yes, part of me wanted to get away from that. But mostly, I'd hoped for Andre to follow me, and on the off-chance, he didn't, then I get sweet time alone with myself. I'm surprised he even decided to follow me, especially since he and Quinn still have some catching up to do.

That thought burnt a hole in my stomach, I hated being jealous of something so stupid. Just thinking of her name makes my blood boil, even when I'm not angry. I hate that I'm still contemplating with myself, this doesn't make sense for someone like me.

A song shakes me out of my thoughts, and I tilt my head. I didn't recognize this.

Andre takes my hand and stretches it outward, and puts his other on my waist. He grips it gently as he pulls me closer.

"This sounds new," I tell him. He begins to sway me back and forth, then starts to move his feet slowly, into some sort of waltz.

Andre snickers, "It's called When I Need You."

I pretended to gag. That title already gave me the heebie-jeebies.

"It sounds cheesy, I know, but I like the words, and it's easy to dance to."

I roll my eyes, "Just sway me harder so I can think of how dizzy I'll be instead of listening to this."

Andre scoffs, "Oh, shut up. You probably won't mind it. It's a good song. Especially for a moment like this."

I feel my cheeks heat up at his remark, and I lean into his chest.

I listened to him, moving along with him as he perfectly times his movements with the beat of the song. That familiar, warm feeling rises to my chest. That sensation would never ever get old for me when I feel it's about to happen, that's when I fully let go of everything my mind throws at me, good or bad. Those painful feelings of jealousy earlier and the memories of my childhood and homelife wash away briefly in these few moments I dance with Andre. I never knew I'd be grateful to have these occasional slow dances. Before the summer started, I would have never imagined that a slow dance would be a remedy to what my mind puts me through. I would have never known I needed a group of friends like this, that being alone maybe wasn't the best option.

All of these realizations and thoughts, just with such a simple moment many people have done for the longest time in our history.

Andre spins me suddenly, and I screech quietly, somehow catch my feet after almost stumbling.

I gently hit his shoulder with my hand, "You should have warned me!"

Andre giggles and bites his lip, "If I did, that would've ruined the moment."

"Me falling could have ruined the moment!" I counter, laughing.

He spins me around one more time, but I suspected it, following his movements almost perfectly. We maneuver around a tree, and he looks down, still red in the face.

I completely lose my track of time and even forget where I am, and what I was supposed to do once we got back here.

I feel something gently tap my forehead. At first, I thought it was Andre's fingers again, but the weight of the impact stayed. It's his forehead that's against mine, I'm frozen there, not knowing what to do. My heart rate picks up, I almost think I'm going to pass out.

I can feel his warm breath against my lips. I'm half-tempted to kiss him right here, but something is holding me back. The same thing happened in the car this morning, that force holding me back from something I truly wanted. I don't know why, but I can't get myself to do it. 

The fear of what consequences could happen if I did, the fear of scaring Andre away floods my mind. 

I look up into his eyes, and he's completely locked to mine.

He smirks, "You're short."

I shake my head, still against his forehead, "Shut up."

His voice is almost a faint whisper. I don't know if it's me, but his breath feels as if it's getting closer and closer to my lips, and spreading onto my cheeks.

My heart races faster than before, and I can feel it radiating on him that he wants to kiss me. And I know he can sense that I wanted to kiss him too.

Andre huffs but suddenly pulls his forehead back. He turns his head. I lean my head to the side to see what he's looking at.

Marjorie and Thu Thu are standing next to the firepit, arms crossed and smirking. Quinn is here too, her hands clasped together and dangling behind her. There's a smile on her face as well.

As if on queue, the song ends. Andre painfully pulls away from my waist and hand, standing awkwardly next to me, swaying his arms.

"We were supposed to cook dinner, weren't we?" Andre scratches the back of his neck.

Marjorie nods, "Yup, but at least the fish and BBQ marinated for longer. We'll just get started."

I rub my arm and approach Marjorie and Quinn tentatively.

"Do you need any help with anything?" I ask Marjorie.

She shakes her head, "Not really, no. Maybe later, when we actually start cooking."

Quinn holds the Tupperware with the BBQ in her hands and smiles widely at me.

"That was a sweet slow dance," Quinn praises me. I feel somewhat bitter towards her, but I try my best to grin at her compliment. "I'm surprised Andre still knows how."

That one makes me smile genuinely.

"He actually taught me how to as well," I tell her. "Now it just comes naturally to me. I didn't know a guy as weird and quirky as Andre could pull something like that off."

Quinn giggles lightly, passing the Tupperware to Thu Thu. She covers her mouth, "I'm surprised to hear that he's pulling it off without me!"

I don't respond. I raise my eyebrows at her in question.

"I taught him how to slow dance back in eighth grade. He was horrible at it! So we had a session every day until I left," Quinn scoffs and moves her hair away from her face. "I'm happy he found someone to dance with that doesn't think his footwork is abysmal."

"I can hear you, Quinn!" Andre yells from the second park table. "Skye says I'm great!"

I snicker briefly, "Yeah. He's pretty good."

"I'm glad to hear," She almost sounds sarcastic, looking over at Andre. "Maybe you can show me how good you've gotten."

Nick shakes his head and takes a sip from his water bottle. "Stop flirting with him, you're giving him bad vibes."

Andre smacks Nick in the head, and he retreats into the gazebo.

I sigh and try and make an excuse to leave. I need to clear my head to what I heard. 

But I just up and went, not a word said. 

Look, I knew since Andre gave me my first dance that I wasn't his first. I was hoping that I was, I always thought that slow dancing came to Andre naturally. Another part of me knew that he was taught, or had some type of experience.

I always leaned toward that assumption, but the more we kept dancing, the more I began to hope for more and more things as well. 

I don't know what's wrong with me! I'm feeling all these things, and I barely know what half of them are!

"Skye!" Marjorie's voice calls after me. I look around my surroundings and notice I'm right in front of the giant tipi. "Where you going? I thought you'd wanna help us cook dinner."

Usually, I'd make up an excuse and hope that Marjorie would believe me, but to her, I'm as transparent as glass.

"I needed a walk before dinner," I still try to force out a response. "My appetite needs to grow."

The look on Marjorie's face could only be described as terrifying. No, she doesn't look mad, nor sad, nor scary. She looked concerned, it terrifies me because I've opened myself up to her so much that she can read me and see through me.

To me, that's a blessing and a curse. The moments I needed alone, I'd never spend them alone again. Maybe it's more of a good thing than bad, but I need my space too.

"I know why you're here, Skye. You don't have to make up excuses," Marjorie replies softly, stepping right in front of me.

She's right in front of the red, setting sun. I don't have to squint as much, though the light still hurts my eyes.

Her black hair shines abnormally, and her face lights up orange.

"I just need time alone, Marjorie," I have to come clean to her. "I didn't like hearing it."

"So talk to me, so you won't have to be bitter about it every time it crosses your mind."

I sigh and close my eyes. I accept my fate and gesture with my head to follow in step with me.

Marjorie slides up next to me, keeping an unusual distance between us.

"You got jealous again," She says bluntly.

"I felt jealous the entire day," I admit. "Preparing dinner was hard. I didn't feel comfortable with Quinn near me. But after that, seeing her is getting less unbearable."

Marjorie nods, "That's good. I know that Quinn is extremely flirty, she'll flirt with almost anyone."

I roll my eyes. That didn't sit well with me at all.

"But, she knows her boundaries. And she reads people very well, almost as well as you and me."

"How so?"

"Well, she doesn't need to know a person entirely to know that she probably hurt their feelings," Marjorie shrugs. "Or if she makes someone uncomfortable. You walking out like that with her seeing, she probably knows something is up. You can lie and make us many excuses you want, she won't budge because she knows she's right."

I scoff, "Isn't that oppressive? Like, sometimes people need time alone."

"And she'll give it to you," Marjorie confirms. "She'll give you as long as you need until you feel comfortable. She'll wait for days, weeks, months, hell! With her patience, she'll wait years!"

"Is there any confirmed cases where she did wait years?" I ask, fully expecting the answer to be no.

Marjorie chuckles, scratching her temple and pursing her lips at me.

I widen my eyes, "You can't be serious!"

"If you count the three years since we last saw her, I had this problem with a guy-"

"Ooh, shocker," I quip.

Marjorie gently smacks my shoulder, "Anyway! I had this problem with a guy, and I never told anyone. But Quinn obviously noticed. I wasn't comfortable with letting anyone know, and she knew, but she told me that I can reach out to her anytime. I then asked her, 'you'd be waiting really long then.'"

"What'd she say after that?"

Marjorie smiles fondly, a memory probably came rushing back to her.

"She just smiled," she says. "And told me, 'I'll be here for you always. I'll wait for you, and I promise I'll give you my honest opinion and a solution that works.'"

A smile tugs at the corner of my lips.

"I almost forgot about it, but Quinn reminded me about it, which is unusual for her since she'd wait for me to come," Marjorie scratches her cheek. "The only reason why she came to me first was that she knew I forgot. And even then, she gave me an answer and a solution. If I would've had that solution all those years ago, the last few weeks of grade 8 would have been much more bearable."

I stand there, in front of a patch of cattails by the shoreline on the lake. I'm utterly surprised. The only person I know that's stubborn enough to wait for something like that is Andre.

I shake my head, "I don't think I'll feel comfy with her anytime soon."

"I hate to say this for you, but you will," Marjorie replies boldly. "She's going to turn into a great friend. She's been family for the longest time."

"Three years doesn't seem long," I say.

"Being with Quinn is an experience, an endless one," Marjorie sinks into her own arms. "I can't imagine a world without Quinn Erin Kelly in it."

That bitter feeling within me starts to simmer down. Hearing Marjorie talk about her like this makes me feel somewhat guilty that I ever did feel bitter towards Quinn. 

But that doesn't mean I'll be comfortable with her right away, not as quick as the others. Knowing me, those feelings are going to sit until they rot away after something life-changing, or my stubbornness lets them leave.

"Don't make that face, Skye," Marjorie massages my shoulders, peering over them to look at me. "We've all been jealous. It's natural to happen to everyone. Just as long as you see a bigger picture, you won't be jealous again."

I rub my forearm and purse my lips, "If you say so, I'll believe you."

Marjorie grins and lets go of me, "Good. Now let's get back, the food is probably on the grill right now. I'd hate for you to miss your first taste of barbeque."

Marjorie trots ahead of me and gestures me to come back.

I smile thankfully at her and the words she gave me, and follow her.

Thu Thu's POV

"Nick! The fish might burn! Are you sure this is okay?"

Nick scoffs at my remark and smirks, "Don't worry! Andre and I have the fish, we've been doing it all our lives. Just handle the barbeque and rice, we'll have some dinner in no time."

Andre seasons the fish generously on the side facing up with what he calls, 'the best seasoning in the world! For fish anyway.'

"What are those called again?" Miguel saunters up next to Andre with a pair of tongs.

He puts the seasonings on the park table and dusts his hands off into shrubs, "Meat magic, garlic powder and salt. We don't need anything else."

"Ah, I see," Miguel smirks. "Of course you'd be someone to buy a product called 'meat magic.' That's sus."

"Man, fuck off," Andre laughs.

Footsteps on the dirt road alert all of us, and we see Marjorie and Skye saunter up onto our grassy campsite.

"What smells so good?" Skye sarcastically says, taking a seat next to me and Tagu.

"Meat Magic," Andre answers her. "It tastes good as hell on all types of meat."

Miguel and Lance snicker behind Andre, laughing at his questionable choice of words.

Skye nods awkwardly, "Are you pulling my leg, or-"

"No, look," Andre furrows his brows. He tosses Skye the package of 'Meat Magic.' Her eyes go wide.

"Oh! There's a product actually called," Skye gulps and shakes her head. "'Meat Magic.'"

Quinn, Marjorie and Tagu all burst into laughter, which causes me to let out a few giggles before Skye rolls her eyes again.

"I can't believe you people find this humorous," Skye scoffs at us harshly.

"It is kind of funny, you'd have to admit that much." Andre flips the fish over and takes in the aroma.

Skye sighs heavily, "Maybe not this time."

Andre gets up and stands next to her, and slowly begins to put a hesitant arm around her, "Well, at least the fish will taste good!"

Skye manages to muster up a smile. She puts an arm around his waist and looks up at him fondly.

All of us look in silence as one of the few moments we see them being so close is about to unfold.

Skye's lips form into a bright smile, her face flushes red, but her gaze doesn't waver away from Andre's face.

"Yup," She still says as dry as ever. "At least fish will taste good."


	34. Stargazing

_Camping: Day 1_  
_6:57 p.m._  
_July. 22, 2019_

Marjorie's POV

The aroma of the food floods my senses, I can barely think and grab the disposable plates and utensils.

I scurry past everyone to the park table and take four skewers of barbeque and a big fillet of fish. 

"Where's the rice? THE RICE?"

Andre backs away from me and points to the corner of the table from within the gazebo.

"I don't understand how you missed it," he shrugs.

I glare at him, and he completely backs off, sauntering away to find himself a plate.

I push myself through the gazebo and scoop up a pile of rice, placing it down on my plate while savouring the tasty aromas from before.

I sit down on a reclining lawn chair and start stuffing my mouth.

I'd been so hungry all damn day! The girls and I were supposed to get a snack at the convenience store earlier today, but the line up for the concession stand there was way too long. It didn't help that when the food was being cooked, the fragrances of the marinades and seasonings basically made our campsite smell like a restaurant.

Skye sits down on a lawn chair next to me with a plate of her own. It has a skewer and two fillets of fish and a bit of rice.

She tilts her head at me, confusedly, "I've never seen you so..."

My head jerks suddenly to her, my cheeks still full of food, "WHAT?"

"Hey, hey, don't talk with your mouth open," Skye smirks smugly, quipping annoyingly. "It's quite rude."

I roll my eyes and swallow slowly.

I sigh, "Try the barbeque. It's Filipino Cuisine at its finest."

"With all due respect, a simple barbeque marinade, pork, and some skewers seem pretty average at a barbeque," Skye says dryly and shrugs.

Andre drags a blue, smaller version of Skye's foldable lawn chair and sits in front of us.

"It's called Filipino style pork barbeque. I'd count it as Filipino cuisine," he tells Skye and grins. "Try it, it's delicious."

Skye picks up the skewer and brings her nose above the pork. She sniffs twice, and a grin escapes her lips. She takes a bite and chews for a bit before an even wider smile flashes in our eyes.

"It's fucking delicious," She rips out another piece with her teeth. "Holy shit! I helped make something that tastes this good!"

Andre laughs fondly at her, "I mean, you just poked pork with sticks."

Skye glares at him, but the tastiness of the food numbed the thought of wanting to hit him.

"It's harder than it looks," I tell him, slowing down my eating.

"I didn't mean anything rude by it," Andre shakes his head.

"Yeah, good," Skye places her empty skewer on her plate. "You know how I feel about making food, Andre. When it turns out good, it's a big surprise to me. Because-"

Skye goes silent for a bit, and the smile that was once there is replaced by a miserable frown.

Andre scoots closer to her and leans his head onto the side of her arm, just below her shoulder.

"I know," He comforts her with a series of soft shushes. "If it makes you feel any better, you can now be taller than me for as long as you want."

Doubtful, she looks down at him, sitting in the smaller lawn chair.

"Very funny," Skye answers apathetically.

I only notice now that we're sitting right beside our tents and away from the others. They're all around the campfire, laughing, smiling. I'd be surprised if John had told them an actually funny joke or if someone else had said something.

Quinn being there with them, reminds me of the times before. Life seemed so much simpler back then, we did not have a care in the world. Now, we have to worry about schoolwork that's essential to our futures, part-time jobs to earn money, going to a college or university in the next year, all these things. Not to mention, the other, smaller things that pretty much define a teenager's life. Having FOMO - Fear of missing out. Like missing a party, a hangout, hell, I know some friends that are going to be slightly angry at us for not inviting them on this camping trip.

Relationships are another issue if one would count it as an issue altogether. I know a lot of friends that are in such a hurry to find someone to be with, even if they know it would probably only last such a short time. That's why I can't do relationships anymore, no one ever gives any effort during the long term, it grows toxic. The spark that was once there, burnt out.

I still find it troubling that people are only in long term relationships to just maintain it. They don't care if it's toxic, they don't accept factors like that because they'd rather preserve a lousy relationship than accepting the fact that it won't go anywhere.

There are some gems, though, Andre's been through one long term. Thu Thu has been as well, I've been there too. But all of our shit ended the same because of one problem: the spark burning out. You start to wonder if it's beginning to feel like a chore for the other person in that relationship to stay in one.

Things grow worse, and eventually, it ends badly. Andre had two things break, physically and emotionally, Thu Thu hasn't been in a relationship since the tenth grade. And my situation is only for me to think about.

However, in Andre's case, he has a perfect second chance at a long-term relationship. It's hard to say that, even for me, who believes that Skye and Andre can work perfectly.

They seem like complete opposites, but at heart, they know each other's pain. Even though their pain comes from two different experiences, they understand it. Skye has never been in a relationship, but she understands Andre's heartbreak and how badly it scarred him. She not only sees it, but she feels it somehow. He may be over the girl, but the pain delivered to him stays.

Andre has never been abused by his parents, nor by any adult or relative. Yet when Skye talks to him about her situation, it hurts him. And he somehow has advice for how she feels at the moment, and it works.

Skye has made him laugh when we all couldn't. Andre has touched her heart in a way that she's opened up to all of us.

Skye and Andre's connection is apparent, and there's visible tension between both of them. It isn't some subtle crush they have for one another, nor is the connection they have subtle. The moment Skye and Andre laid their eyes on each other back at Midtown Plaza, it set off a spark, and there's no way that spark is going to burn out. The only thing it will do is get brighter and brighter every day.

No matter how far apart one of them is, the other will feel them as if they were truly there. That's how confident I am about how their relationship will transpire. It's inevitable.

I bend my plate in half and toss it in the garbage bag behind me, that's tied up on a tree. I drag the reclining lawn chair towards the bonfire, and I hear a whistle behind me.

"Wait for us! We're done eating too," Andre waves as he throws away two plates.

Skye follows behind me, two chairs folded and tucked against her ribs. "Miguel, Lance, make some space for us three," she hollers, setting her chair up beside Miguel's.

I plop my chair down next to Lance's, and Andre scurries back and sits in between me and Skye.

"What time it be?" Andre gestures to John, who's across the campfire, sitting next to Tagu and Nick.

John pulls his phone out of his pocket, "It's been an hour."

"I asked the time, not how long it's been," Andre rubs his eyebrows in disbelief. "Are you high?"

John scrunches his eyebrows and looks around wildly, "No! I'm drunk."

My eyebrows raise in surprise.

Andre scoffs loudly and stands up quickly, "Fuck the time. Hook me with that shit, now!"

Quinn laughs softly at his reaction, "Whatever happened to the Andre that told me, 'I'm not drinking in High School'?"

"Pfft! I never told you that! Now, hook me up," Andre demands more urgently. "For the record, we were taught the negative effects of alcohol in elementary! They failed to teach us the benefits, and we had to teach ourselves that."

"By actually drinking!" Nick pulls a hidden bottle from under his chair and raises it in the air. "WE LEARN BETTER WITH HANDS-ON LEARNING!"

Andre claps and laughs at Nick's remark, "EXACTLY! Now, one of you takes me to the promised land!"

Quinn and Nick rise from their chairs and gesture him to follow them. Andre scurries behind them as they approach Nick's trailer, opening the door and entering inside.

"Y'all drinking already?" I lean in and talk in a faint whisper.

Lance nudges my shoulder, "Yeah, you guys ate so slow, John decided to pop open a few bottles and cans."

"Where are they, though?" I ask curiously. Just curiously.

"John finished two cans of Smirnoff after dinner, then took some shots with Quinn inside a tent," Lance replies hastily.

"We have a recycling bin set up for the bottles and can of alc with a bunch of water bottles in it, inside of the gazebo," Miguel leans forward to see at me. "If any security walks by - which is unlikely - we have the water bottles to cover up what's at the bottom."

I notice Christie, leaning forward in her chair with her hood over her head.

"Christie! Do you drink?" I suddenly call for her.

She snaps backward and looks around for who called her.

"Was that you, Marjorie?" Hearing her say my name in that accent is so satisfying.

"Mhm!"

Christie laughs and leans forward, her hair seeping out of her hood, "No, I do not. I'm not scared by any means, though. I just choose to have fun without the need for alcohol. In plus, it's more fun to watch your friends get drunk while you're the only sober one. It's quite amusing!"

I solemnly nod at her and giggle, "Alright, I respect that."

A foot kicks open the trailer door, and Andre comes out first, cradling the cans and bottles tightly against his chest. Quinn and Nick follow closely behind him, peering at each other and chuckling quietly.

Andre stops behind John's chair, tapping him on the shoulder.

"You want some more?" Andre gestures to his arms.

John sighs and grabs a can of Smirnoff ice.

He cracks it open and takes a long sip before Andre walks clockwise around our little circle.

Miguel and Thu Thu gesture for him to toss them some drinks.

With a risky toss, he uses one hand to throw two cans at them.

Miguel whistles at Andre and raises his can, "Can I have a bottle instead?"

He nods and flings Miguel a bottle, and he barely catches it.

"Just pass that can to Skye or someone around you," Andre beams as he makes his way around back to his chair.

Miguel sets it on my lap, and I crack it open without thinking.

Andre sits back down, tapping my shoulder.

"Check the time?"

I pull my phone out and read the time aloud. It's a little bit past nine thirty-three; everyone did take a bit of time to eat, me, Skye and Andre being the last ones to settle down around the fire.

Nick waves a bag of jumbo marshmallows around in the air, "Before we make a cheesy toast, how about we roast some marshmallows?"

Andre pulls skewers out of the chair's armrest, it's one of those lawn chairs that has a pocket behind the cupholder.

He passes around the skewers clockwise, and Nick does the opposite with the marshmallows, going counterclockwise.

Lance hands me a marshmallow, and I poke it into the top of the skewer.

Skye hesitantly takes a marshmallow from Andre and does the same, slowly pushing it through the bottom-center of the marshmallow until the sharp end of the stick lingers through the top.

"I don't know why I agreed to roast these, it seems so cliche," Skye comments dryly, and shrugs. "If I were to do this, I'd probably burn the marshmallow until it's all black."

Andre hovers his skewer over the fire, and I can see the surface of the marshmallow caramelize into a golden brown colour. He catches fire on the top of it and blows it out once the top is slightly bubbling.

He takes a bite, looking over at Skye, "You know, charring it too much is cancer-causing."

Skye chuckles sarcastically, "I am the cancer."

Andre plants his back into his chair, "I don't know how to respond to that. I'd like to interpret it as 'you're so goddamn pretty, you'd kill someone with your looks.'"

"So, my looks can give someone cancer?" She scans around the campfire. "All of you have cancer now."

"That's not what I meant," Andre sighs heavily and eats his marshmallow whole, "I could have thought of a better pickup line than that, it was on the spot thinking."

"It still sucked, dude," Lance laughs and puts an arm around Julianna, who leans and eases into his shoulder.

Skye takes a bite of her marshmallow and huffs, "Tastes okay."

"Maybe because you burnt it," Christie snickers lightly.

Skye giggles softly at Christie's remark, "I just think it's appealing all burnt because it reminds me of myself. It's black like my soul."

Andre shrugs smugly, flashing her a smile, "Mhm, but with a gooey and soft interior. I'm starting to see the resemblance."

"Alright, okay, that was a good one," Lance points a finger gun at his cousin. "Still kinda iffy, though."

"Whatever, man," Andre scoffs harshly.

Skye reaches her hand, holding the half bitten burnt marshmallow in front of him, "Do you wanna try it?"

He bites his lip, "I wanna try you."

Skye's face flushes bright pink. Her eyes widen in shock, her lips settling into a tiny grin.

"Andre..." she murmurs dreamily, her eyes twinkle as she catches his eyes.

He snuggles closer to Skye and rests his cheek on her shoulder. He hums; happily, the warmth of the fire couldn't even compare to how warm those two all nestled up together.

The rest of us sit in silence or talk amongst one another. John stares intently at the moment happening in front of him, and so does Tagu. Miguel, Christie, and Quinn are the ones speaking to each other, while Julianna is half-asleep on Lance's shoulder. But even he is watching with us.

"...Wait, what does that even mean?" Skye scrunches her nose, asking deadpan. There's a hint of confusion in her voice and her face.

Andre stutters heavily, not knowing how to respond. "Uhm? I don't know," he mutters, sounding quite panicked. "It's... it's a flirt!"

John snorts as he took a bite of his golden marshmallow, "Andre, man, you lost game."

Lance, Tagu, Nick, and I laugh silently amongst ourselves. We all nod in agreement.

"I did not lose game, excuse you!" He puffs his cheeks and, his face reddens suddenly.

"Andre never had game, to begin with," Nick quips and swigs his bottle.

Skye smirks at their comments, looping strands of her hair behind her ear. She seems quite flattered, "A flirt, huh?"

Andre presses his face into her shoulder and moans an exaggerated whine.

She curls her arm around the bottom of his chin and massages his face, "Don't worry. They bully me too."

"Hey!" I furrow my eyebrows at Skye. "It isn't 'bullying.' We all tease with your consent."

"No, you don't," Skye replies coldly but smiles anyway. "I feel as if it's all of you consenting with each other to tease me. I'm not apart of that."

Tagu raises an eyebrow and stares at Skye blankly, "You're kidding me, right? You're one of us. It's all for shits and giggles, we don't mean to hurt you."

Skye clicks her tongue and takes a sip of her can, "I've only been around you guys for a few weeks. 'One of us,' is sort of a stretch."

John snickers, and from a slight whisper, he starts chanting, _"One of us, one of us, one of us."_

Skye's eyes widen, her mouth gaping open as she realizes what's about to happen.

"Oh, God, please don't start-"

"One of us, one of us, one of us," the circle of chants start off as a quiet whisper, with everyone joining in one by one.

"Guys-"

_"ONE OF US! ONE OF US!"_

"People sleeping can hear-"

_"ONE OF US! ONE OF US!"_

Skye slumps down her chair, accepting her fate. She covers her face with a hand, "Why do I even try?"

She leans forward and gestures at Andre demandingly, "Give me your sweater now. So I can hide."

"Come here and take it off then," he winks, teasing and enticing her to come to him.

Skye surprisingly rises from her chair and marches in front of him. Andre backs up, also surprised that she actually came to him. She suddenly claws at his sleeves, causing him to laugh out loudly.

"GUYS! CHANT LOUDER!" Andre yells at the top of his lungs, his words echoing in the distance.

Tagu and Quinn clap and stand up onto a pair of nearby logs.

_"ONE OF US! ONE OF US!"_

_"ONE OF US! ONE OF US!"_

_"ONE OF US! ONE OF US!"_

_"ONE OF US! ONE OF US!"_

_"ONE OF US! ONE OF US!"_

A beam of light on the dirt road illuminates the path in front of it. Our chanting comes to an immediate halt, and only the boys seem to be giggling, studying one another with amused expressions on their faces.

Christie shushes them sternly, all the boys looking surprised now. They listen to her, and Andre turns his chair to face whoever it is that's coming.

The broad triangular beam shrinks in size, the closer it gets to our site. Skye laments once again, and this strange feeling in my gut makes me realize who is approaching us. This small golf-cart stops at the front of the campsite, just past the trailer and tents tucked against the bushes.

A large man, maybe mid-forties, steps out of the cart and approaches us with a flashlight. He sternly stares at us, his bald-heald glistening with sweat, and slightly reflects the orange of the fire. He's wearing a navy blue button-up shirt tucked into tan coloured pants, and on the corner of his shirt, a shiny silver badge shimmers with the fire as well.

"Do you kids realize it is quiet hours?" The officer calmly asks us, putting his hands against his hips.

Andre nods, confidently standing up and shaking the officer's hand, "Uh, no sir. We weren't paying attention to the time."

I glance around and see Tagu, John, Quinn, Miguel and Lance holding in their laughs. Skye and Julianna don't seem as amused, anxiously rubbing their foreheads and covering their mouths as they watch on. Fear starts to water down my amusement, realizing that we still had alcohol scattered around and under our chairs. Nick realizes this as well and whistles at me to cover up the cans and bottles when Andre has the officer distracted.

Our alcohol is the most exposed, while the others had theirs in the dark spots of the campsite.

The officer shakes Andre's hand firmly, squinting and glancing around.

"Sir!" Andre catches his attention once again. "Sorry for me and my friends being inconsiderate, we should have known when quiet hours were. I'll take responsibility for that, I had the pamphlets and everything. I didn't take the time to read it."

He lets out this heavy huff, like a bull's. "Well, now you know," He says. "Quiet hours are from 9:30 p.m. to 10:00 a.m. I'd usually ticket people for this, but now that I see that you all are teenagers, I'll let this mistake slide just this once. How long are you all staying for?"

"Until Friday, sir," Andre grins widely at him. "And I assure you that this won't happen for the remainder of the week. We'll stay quiet after nine."

Andre may have actually charmed the officer, I can't tell. From the way the officer is talking, along with his body language, he seems pretty serious.

My assumption is made clear when the officer lets out a chuckle, glancing down at the ground briefly.

"Out of all the kids I deal with during my years, you might be the most polite and honest," He pockets his hands. "You kids have a goodnight, no more chanting whatever it was you all was saying."

The officer turns around without another word. Andre sits back down, rotating his chair, so it's facing the fire.

The golf-cart starts up once again, It slowly drives away from our portion of the dirt road.

A wave of relief falls on our shoulders, all of us sighing at the same time.

"And you said an officer wouldn't come by!" Christie sharply faces Miguel, a whimsical smile planted on her face.

"I didn't say that!" Miguel's voice trails off. "I said it was unlikely."

I cross my arms and take a glimpse at Miguel as well, "He didn't see our alcohol at least."

"He almost did. Good thing Andre noticed the situation and caught his attention," Nick takes another sip from his bottle.

"For the record, I was only worried about him seeing my can," Andre replies and scratches his nose. He scoffs. "But, I'm glad I saved your asses, too."

Skye shakes her head and grabs her can, "You guys didn't have to chant that at all. We wouldn't have gotten in trouble."

"That's the thing, we didn't get in trouble, Skye-With-An-E," Andre puts an arm around her. "I got us out of that situation."

She stares at him in disbelief and leans into his arms.

Quinn clears her throat and subtly takes another shot class from inside her own armrest pocket.

"AHHHH!" She sticks her tongue out and screams. The shot she took must have been strong.

Thu Thu gasps and lunges off her chair, putting a hand over Quinn's mouth. "Quinn!" She hisses sharply. "The security officer is still close! Your scream could've drawn him back!"

Quinn giggles whimsically and pinches Thu Thu's cheeks, "You're so goddamn cute. You yelling reminds me of puppies screaming for their moms."

Her face starts to blush profusely and is almost as bright as our bonfire.

"Shhh!!" Thu Thu's hair falls over her shoulder, and she does her best, trying to hide the apparent smile spread across her lips.

Quinn snickers and bites her lip seductively at her, "Calm down now. Back to your seat."

Some laughter emerges from the circle, but half of us are nearly asleep. Lance and Julianna's heads were nearly going to fall over earlier if it wasn't for them leaning on each other. I look over, and they still have their hoods over their heads, a blanket covering them both.

Thu Thu gulps and awkwardly stands up straight, walking back to her chair.

John clears his throat, scratching his face and gesturing his head at Andre.

"Anyway," John quips while taking a sip from his can. "About Andre's 'flirt.'"

"Oh, fuck off," Andre scowls, hiding the red flush on his face against Skye's shoulder. His voice is muffled. "I'm being attacked."

Skye giggles and pats the top of his head stiffly, "Awww. It was a nice try. 'A' for effort. I feel very flirted with."

Andre stares up at Skye, curling his brows. "Ugh. Okay, moving on," he mutters.

He starts to look around avidly, and a gaze of guilt clouds his once embarrassed expression.

"You guys are wearing your senior jerseys," He mumbles sadly.

Quinn and Christie also peep around the circle, noticing the same thing.

Christie reaches a finger on Miguel's shoulder, rubbing the fabric of the baseball jersey fondly, "Quite cute. You all are matching."

"Yeah, and matching with 95% of our school's seniors," Julianna replies, scoffing.

Quinn tilts her head at Christie, "Okay, I know Lance doesn't have one because he already graduated. Why don't you and Skye have one?"

"I'm gonna be a sophomore next year," Skye replies bluntly. "And I don't even go to Beth, neither does Christie."

"Well, that answers my question," Quinn bows her head with a bright smile, the whiteness of her teeth startling me. "Nick?"

He raises his knee and plants his foot on his chair,

"Andre does," John points out the obvious. He's the elephant in the room.

Even after school had ended, aside from Miguel, John and Lance, the rest of us still wonder why he hadn't got a senior jersey back in May.

"I kinda regret it, man," He laments, shaking his head disappointedly. "

"Man, I knew I should have gotten one."

John snickers, "You thought you were moving, that's your fault."

"Moving?" Skye sounds curious, her voice lighting up. She almost looks surprised. "Where?"

"Tommy Douglas," Miguel sighs. "I don't know why you'd want to move there, but I'm sure there are nice people there."

Between the girls and I, we share this same bewildered expression. We all stare at him in disbelief, and by the look on his face, he seems serious. Even Nick, who attends Tommy, seems just as confused as us.

"...I go there, and I absolutely hate it," He admits.

"Don't worry!" Andre slightly raises his arms, grabbing everyone's attention. "Gemma told me that they'd be reselling them in October."

John hiccups and puts his empty drink in the cupholder, "Lucky bastard."

"They have to accommodate for new seniors coming next year," Thu Thu implies, leaning against her palm. "And for the people that didn't get one last year."

She coughs and motions her head at Andre, calling him out once again.

He rolls his eyes, "Sorry for having personal reasons for wanting to move." He tucks his head into the hood of his sweater and leans even closer against Skye's shoulder.

Nick takes one last sip from his bottle, before sighing heavily, "Now that you mention it, I'm thinking of moving, too. I might go to your guys' school. I'll have some friends, so the change will be easier to take."

"You'll acclimate pretty quick," John says, leaning over to see Nick's face. "You remember Joshua?"

"Peji? Yeah, we still play games together," Nick smiles. "And Gemma goes there too, I'm assuming?"

John nods, "Basically, most of the B-Rob kids are at Beth."

"Nice."

Miguel gets up tentatively with a goofy grin on his face, "As fun as it is making fun of Andre," He yawns, quickly glancing at the watch attached to his wrist. "And talking about random shit, it's late. For me, anyway. Goodnight, guys."

We all chorus a quiet goodnight, as Miguel walks away and enters his tent.

"Christie," I call out to her. Her coffee-coloured hair whiffs the air as she turns her head. "You going with him?"

She nods, also yawning. Her heavy eyes find mine, and she blinks tiredly, "Yes, I am. I'd like to say goodnight as well."

She smiles sweetly at us, standing up and slouching.

"Nighty-night," Andre raises his can at her. He furrows his eyebrows and shakes his can. "This bitch empty, man. Jolo, can you get me another one?"

John turns around, and without a word, he gets up from his chair and dizzily walks into Nick's trailer.

I check the time on my phone again, and I puff my cheeks. "Damn, it's twelve-thirty. I shouldn't be this tired," I rub my eyes and glancing over at Skye, she resembles a red and black blur. "I'm surprised you haven't finished your drink yet, Skye."

She chuckles, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, the last few times you drank with us, you hit your head and almost gave yourself a concussion, and just a few weeks ago, you were an emotional wreck," I spring out of my seat.

Skye rolls her eyes and takes another sip, "Shut up."

A familiar, heavy sensation falls on my shoulders and my eyes. I don't know if it's the alcohol, or if it's my fucked up sleeping schedule, but I think I might pass out any second. "I think I'm gonna head to bed, too," I mumble.

My tent was placed right next to the gazebo, so I gather the bottles and cans left by Miguel and take the ones under Julianna and Lance's chair to put them in the recycling bin. I cradle them in my arms and wobble away.

"Goodnight, Marjorie," Tagu glimpses half-way behind her, smiling.

"Wait for me, M.J," Skye rustles the dirt and grass as she appears behind me. "Andre and I left some stuff, too."

She sluggishly trails ahead of me, loudly dropping the cans and bottles into the bin.

"SHHH!" Quinn whistles and giggles wildly, her eyes half-closed. "That sounded TOO LOUD. We might get in TROUBLE again."

Thu Thu sighs, "I think I might take her back," She says quietly. "I'll be back."

Quinn stands up ahead of her, "I can go back by myself, Thu Thu!"

She laughs in disbelief, grasping onto Quinn's hand, "No, you can't. Just don't let go of my hand."

Quinn raises her eyebrows, flashing her another flirty gaze, "May I grab onto something else?"

Thu Thu shushes her sharply, dragging her into the dark of the dirt road.

I smile fondly at the moment, entering the gazebo as Skye is about to leave.

"I'm heading to bed, too," She says dryly. "Night."

"Goodnight, Skye," I kneel to put the cans and bottles at the very bottom of the bin. I raise my head and turn my head. "Goth Queen, can you also wake Lance and Julianna. They can't just sleep out here."

"Got it."

I yawn groggily, leaving the gazebo and going straight for my tent without another word for the others.

Skye's POV

"Jyanna, Lance? Yeah, it's twelve in the morning," I try to whisper to them as quiet as I can. I don't know any other way to wake them up more peacefully, so I just came to them straight forward. "Go relax in your tents."

Lance squints at the fire's light, and after, nudging Julianna's shoulder, "Baby," he calls to her. "Let's go to the tent."

She doesn't say a word, only getting up, not letting go of the hold she has on his arm.

"Thanks, Skye," Lance's voice is groggy.

I nod and head back to my chair to fold it. I see Andre staring intently at the fire. Usually, he'd be drunk by now, but I guess the quietness of the atmosphere is making him react differently. Maybe he isn't drunk at all.

"Are you drunk?" I quip to get his attention. "You look in love with the fire."

He scoffs, a white smile blinding me. "I feel a bit tipsy, nowhere near to how I was the past few times," He replies. His eyes find mine, the orange shade of the fire partly colouring his face. "I'll be in bed later. I'll try not to wake you."

I approach him hesitantly, intertwining my hand in his and helping him up.

Andre smells like the burning wood and paper; I'm pretty sure all of us have that same scent as we were all tucked carefully to the fire. I wrap my arms around him and plant my face in his chest.

I needed to hug him, I haven't been close to him all night, and for most of the day until our slow dance. I missed his touch, and for me to think that makes me feel weird. To say it would be the death of me.

"Goodnight," I say.

He kisses the top of my head so softly, like a leaf landing on the top of my head.

"Goodnight," he says back. He pulls away from me, flashing me a sweet grin.

I let go of him, shuffling to our giant tent. I sense his eyes still staring at the back of my head, but looking back, he'd already turned around and sat back down.

I shift back at the tent's zipper, reaching up and pulling it down to access the inside of the tent. Our airbeds were separated. We both took each side and are still trying to figure out what to use the middle for.

Whatever we decide, it would probably be something stupid, like a board game corner, or a pillow and bag fort.

I toss my shoes on the tarp outside the entrance, zipping the tent shut. I stretch lazily and crawl into my airbed, sinking into it. I close my eyes, allowing the softness of the bed to shape the mould of my body.

The heaviness of all the day's work, all of its struggles and moments are all falling on me, hitting me with possibilities of what I should have done or not. I always find a way to fit overthinking about shit at the wrong possible times. The emotions I had felt earlier are still simmering in my stomach, the thoughts of being just another rebound in Andre's life. I tell myself he isn't like that; he's honest and caring, and sweet. He isn't just another shallow boy, though I have no experience with shallow boys.

I bolt upright, lifting my knee and leaning on it. I foresaw this happening and still didn't do a single thing about it.

Like every night before, even when staying at Andre's house, my anxiety wouldn't let me sleep tonight.

_1:00 a.m._

The zipping sound of the tent startles me, breaking me out of my thoughts. The fire's light casts the shadow of whoever it is that's outside. I stare at the silhouette of the person trying to get in. No panic brews inside me, I know exactly who it is.

His head pops in, and his eyes scan my side of the tent first.

"Why are you still awake?" Andre says, concerned, clouds in his eyes.

I shrug, "Just been thinking."

"About?" He settles into his airbed, resting his hands behind his head.

I'm hesitant to tell him. The only thing really on my mind is the jealousy I felt earlier and the suspicion of me being just a rebound.

"Nothing to worry about," I stare up at the fabric ceiling.

There isn't any point in trying to hide how I feel or what I'm thinking to Andre, he can read me like a book. Since the day we met, he's gotten better and better at reading me, and vice versa.

There's a slight rustle in the fabric next to my bed, and I stiffen my shoulders. His arms are around me, holding onto me tighter than before.

I ease my body into his and lean on his shoulder. "Am I rebound?"

I glance up at his amused face, and he starts laughing.

"Is that a joke?" Andre's expression falls as he realizes that my question was serious.

I wait for a reply, but he only stares at me more intently.

"Of course not," he responds pointedly. "Why the hell would I- Is it because of me and Quinn?"

My voice has left at this point; any words I have for him are all gone.

"Look, Skye," He whispers, leaning in close to my ear. "Quinn and I, that's all in the past. We broke up for a reason. And for me, getting back together with an ex is a risk. All the problems we have can resurface."

"Still, you're suggesting that it's a possibility that you two can still-"

"Skye," Andre interrupts. "When I start liking someone, I don't just like them because it's convenient. I like them because they've got something I see that no one else sees, they're special. You're special."

His words hit me like the wind; I still find it hard to believe what he says. I'm trying my best, I'm opening my heart to his words and gestures, but my mind is always telling me otherwise.

"You've been acting weird all day. Is there something you ain't told me yet?" Andre gestures for me to scooch over.

"This airbed isn't big enough for the two of us to sit in."

He groans, "Stop stalling, smartass."

I smirk out of view, sliding over and nearly falling off the other edge of the bed.

"Can you tell me what's up? You've been like this since the start of the day."

"Sometimes, I don't have to tell you everything, you know?" That's a lie. I feel so comfortable telling him things; I'm so used to it. But this? I don't know why it's so goddamn hard for me. I don't know what's holding me back, even I know confessing how I genuinely feel about Andre would make this whole thing go away, but I can't.

He frowns, and I see this pain in his eyes that I can't shake off me anymore. Guilt rises from my stomach, and I gulp back the lump in my throat.

I sigh, glancing away from him, "Andre, it's people like you, I don't want to lose." I had to admit that to both him and myself.

Andre's fingers find my chin, and he turns my head and finds my eyes. His is glistening, I can tell even in the darkness. Tears start to well up in my eyes. Overcome with so many emotions at once is something I'm used too, but not like this.

"I'll be around for as long as you have me," he says softly.

I let a tear slip away from one of my eyes, "How can I be sure you won't abandon me like my old friends?"

Andre leans in and gently kisses my forehead, and I feel a tear from his cheek fall onto it.

"Skye, I'd burn the whole goddamn world for you just to see you smile."

I breathe in his scent, digging my face into the crevice of his neck to cry. I remember what Marjorie had said earlier, that he looks at me like I'm his whole world. I'd been unable to see that, and I wanted to see if it was true.

I slowly part from him, looking up with my blurry eyes. Even in darkness, I see his eyes shining as bright as ever. He smiles at me.

"Why are you crying? Please don't look at me like that; it's breaking my heart."

I want to ask him if I am his whole world, but fear and anxiety cloud my mind again. Even so, I wouldn't need to ask him. The way he's looking at me right now answers my question.

A smile, my first real, genuine smile of today, spread across my face. Unstoppable, like wildfire, making my cheeks sting.

Andre lifts my chin to get a better look at me. He closes his eyes, "Do you wanna do something right now? I'm not that tired, and there's an open world outside of that tent."

I shrug, slouching, "I don't know. The fire seems like it's going out."

He scratches the back of his head, and his eyes light up, a playful look on his face.

"Let's go stargazing," he suggests happily. "John showed me the secret place he always went too and told me you found it too. We can go there."

I stand up without a word, reaching my hand. I fight off the grin I had earlier but to no avail.

"What are we waiting for then?"

He snickers, pulling himself up and interlocking our hands together. He unzips the tent quietly and safely pulls me out.

"I got it, I got it," I whisper, slipping into my shoes and zipping the entrance up.

We tiptoe our way, still hand in hand, onto the blackness of the dirt road.

We both take our phones out and shine a light down the path. He shivers, both from the cold and probably fear. Andre isn't scared of the dark by any means, just scared if we'd get jumped.

Even then, he's leading the way, turning off his flashlight when he sees the moonlight slightly lighting up the empty park. We pass by the tipi, and into the thick shrubbery, we have to go through.

Our feet land in the sand, and looking up, I see every little dot twinkling high above the sky. It hits me that those stars are just an afterimage of what they once were, their lights only shining Earth's night sky. One of these stars probably lived during the existence of dinosaurs, or the two world wars, or anything. It's outlived all of us.

I squeeze Andre's hand tightly, gesturing to sit down on the sand to gaze quietly above us. Staring at him makes me recognize something. That the only star I see tonight is the one next to me.

Andre's POV

I look back at Skye, who's smile is even brighter than the light show above. Happiness shines from both of us. It envelopes my mind with the sense that we shouldn't have to worry about everything that's happened around us because we know we have each other. I hope I can tell her that one day.

Skye tilts her head and points to a tree. "You got something sharp?" she asks.

I look around the sand and explore my pockets, painfully letting go of her.

I shake my head, "No, ma'am. I do not."

She purses her lips, looking around in the sand as well. She shines a flashlight onto the ground, distinctively scanning for a sharp pebble or rock.

"Ah, perfect." She carefully raises a rock, sharp at one end.

Confused, I nudge her hip, "May I ask what that's for?"

"C'mere," she stands up and starts scratching the tree next to the one she claimed. "Yup, it's perfect."

I chuckle and lean my elbow on her shoulder, "You gonna carve our initials into that tree?"

"To commemorate this occasion," Skye shyly smiles at me, awkwardly chuckling. "It seems cheesy on paper, but I want our mark to be made here. First time stargazing with you."

Her face shines brightly, red tinting on her cheekbones. She carves an 'A' and an 'S' with a distance between each letter. She takes a few steps back, crossing an arm and resting an elbow on top of it, leaning on her palm.

"I feel like we're missing something," her voice shakes as she finds my eyes.

She stands in front of the initials and starts scratching something else in. She lets out a heavy breath and stands back, letting me look at what she's made.

There's a plus sign between our letters, which makes me grin slightly, but the thing around it, I can't quite figure out what it is.

"Oh, that's a... potato?" I stupidly ask her, soon being aware of what she actually drew. Skye laughs at me, shaking her head. "Oh! Its a heart! Its a heart. I see it now. That's cool. Really cool."

Skye bites her lip briefly. "You are super cute," she says.

My cheeks feel close to a fire, but it's just me heating up. The warmness in my chest comes back, and it's the same as before. She always makes me feel this way every time.

A flash of light imperceptibly passes our eyes, and we see it just in time. A shooting star had passed us by, and we saw the tail end of it.

"What a coincidence," I feel somewhat nervous, just staring at her face glow.

Skye sits back down on the sand, patting the sand next to her, "Come sit," she gestures. "Make a wish, too."

"You made a wish? Wow, I never knew you believed in that superstition."

"It's only fitting we do. And who knows," she chucks her sharpened stone into the water, causing it to ripple in all directions. "Maybe ours will come true."

She closes her eyes, deep in her own thoughts.

I think about what I had told myself earlier that I wanted to tell her that we shouldn't have to worry about everything that's happened around us because we know have each other. That's my wish to tell her that.

I could care less about being official with Skye or whatever, what we have right now is enough for me. This bond we have is unbreakable, even after nearly a month. There's just something about her.

If Skye and I do end up getting together, that'd only strengthen our bond, and even then, there are still other ways for our connection to get stronger.

A cold chill runs up my spine after hearing the bushes shake next to me. I reflexively wrap my arms around her, shielding and protecting her for whatever was watching us. If it came at us, I'd be ready to fight.

"Andre, it's just a mouse," Skye says with a smile. She starts flapping the front of her shirt. "Man, it's hot as fuck here for a night out by the lake. I thought it'd be below 15 celsius, but it feels hotter than that."

I start to notice it too and slip off my sweater. I'm only wearing a stretchy red t-shirt underneath, the one I'd generally use for a workout. The breeze hits me, and I sigh in relief.

I glance over at Skye, who has her shirt up over her head already. She's still wearing the black tank top from earlier, and the warmth in my chest erupts into such intense heat. I swear I'm nearly going to pass out from seeing her like this. She's so beautiful. Her pale shoulders shine in the moonlight, catching me off guard.

Skye briefly scans her arms, tucking them close to her chest to hide her scars. The happiness that was once in her eyes is now gone, flooded with pain and regret. I reach over, gently grabbing hold of her wrist and slowly rotating her arm upward.

I slide closer to her as she studies my face and my actions closely. I pull her arms toward my face, my lips, and kiss her scars softly up and down. She shivers at the touch of my lips against her, muttering something under her breath.

"What was that?" I ask, finding her eyes.

They're glistening brighter than the moon, than the stars above us. Oh my God, her eyes. It's as if she had the night sky in her eyes. But, instead of having the stars for eyes, she has an entire galaxy, all with their own star systems.

She gulps nervously. "I said your lips are soft," she says.

I bite my lip at her, kissing her arms more and more. I wish kisses could heal these scars, so she wouldn't have to look at them and be reminded of all that pain and regret.

"Did you ever tell me why you cut?" I let go of her arms, wrapping my own and pulling her close against me.

Skye shakes her head. "No," she replies, the warmness of her breath hitting my neck in waves. "I don't know if I should either. I have a stupid reason."

"There are no stupid reasons for cutting," I try and reassure her. "We both did it for a reason, and we wouldn't ever do it for attention. So don't be afraid to tell me."

Skye sighs heavily, shivering away from my arms and facing me, kneeling.

"All my life, ever since my parents began to despise me, I never had an aspect of it to control," she starts, clearly holding back tears. "The way my appearance was before was out of my control, all the things I wanted to do was out of my control. Everything that was of interest to me was out of my control. All of it was chosen by my parents because to them they knew everything, and they claimed they were always right. They said they knew the best for me."

I brush my fingers over her hand, the way she so often did with mine.

"When the abuse came, I started to feel more physically drained from all the emotional stress they put on me. And when the actual physical abuse came," she swallows back a lump in her throat. A few tears escape her eyes, and I catch them with a finger from my opposite hand. She grabs onto my arm, her sad eyes gazing at me. "I thought at that point, I'd be in that hole forever. Until I got to buy my own clothes, and my parents had given me a list of what to buy. Unfortunately for them, I got ahead of myself and completely changed my style. They didn't like that, and you know the rest."

I lean in to kiss her forehead and poke it with two fingers as my lips break away.

She grins briefly, but her tears start to pour out in large waves. "When I was wandering alone in my house ome day, I had found a razor blade on the washroom counter. I had this great idea, where I told myself I'd finally be control of something. And that one thing I could control was the pain I could inflict on myself."

My heart sank, it plummeted down in an endless abyss. My eyes couldn't hold back the heaviness of all the tears building up. A few droplets fell on her hands. She raises a finger, catching the tears falling down my face, mimicking what I had done for her earlier.

"That control became an addiction, that's why there are so many scars on both of my wrists," her voice trembles, overwhelmed with emotions. "Other than the clothes I wear and the style of fashion I like, which is somewhat in my control now, my parents couldn't see the scars. So they never got mad at me for this. But I doubt they'd care if they did see. They should know they've caused more pain on me than the cutting ever has."

I caress her hair, tangling my hands in the softness of it. I slide my hand slowly down her head until my palm cups her face. She leans into my touch willingly, her eyes twinkling in the starlight.

I think hard about what to say, what to tell her, and it suddenly clicks. "That's the thing, Skye. We have no control over anything."

Skye stays silent, blinking her eyes open. I use my teeth to pick at my lips, anxiously wanting her to stop crying.

"I know you don't have a lot, even with a giant fortune," I let my voice trail off, staring at the sand. "But now that you have us, and a chance to have a normal life, I know by the end of all the bad things happening, you'll have so much to appreciate. I promise."

Skye smiles shyly, making her face glow. "You think so?" she whispers softly.

"Look at it this way," I continue. "The only way to understand why we do things is to understand our emotions instead. Answering 'why' without a thought can turn into a simple answer that might not even solve your problem. But, if you try and look into your emotions, then maybe the answer to how you feel, can answer the why itself."

She looks like she's meditating. I hope my words can lead her in the right path, but I can't think for her. The battle inside her own mind is the only one she'll fight alone.

"Andre," Skye calls. My heart thunders when I hear her say my name.

"Yes, Ma'am?"

"Despite being a bit _defensive_ today, I wanted to tell you something important," The tone on Skye's face matches her silky red hair.

A smile creeps itself onto my face, "What is that, Skye-with-an-e?"

She ponders for a moment, staring at a spot on the shore before looking me straight in the eye, "I think I'm closer to you than anybody else has been in my entire life. It's terrifying, but...I trust you."

Her words touch my heart in a way no one else's has ever done. I smile shyly at her, sucking in my lips to hold in any loose tears.

"I really like you, Skye."

"I know."

It only hit me now, but I realized that Skye and I are so different from each other. She didn't learn the things I figured out over the years because she never had anyone supporting her, she never had a basis of where to start.

Even from her childhood, her family has been nothing but horrible to her ever since and it's taken its toll. I don't know if anyone could be as strong as her, persevering through all that hurt and still having the will to trust me and the others. I feel like it's still a process for her to trust us.

I feel the highest amount of compassion for a person at the moment she explained her reason for cutting. The amount I care about her is indescribable, it's humbling.

Skye has a hard time understanding things because you learn somethings from others positively or negatively. She's been trapped in that negative atmosphere for so long, now it's all she knows. My friends and I are the only positive light Skye has, and I fear that she views it as only a light at the end of the tunnel. If only she knew that the light at the end of the tunnel was a torch, she's been carrying all this time.

All I want to do is help her see that, and to help her get out of that tunnel, she has no idea how much I want to do that.

"Skye," I find her hands again and intertwine them with mine. "You're the strongest person I know."

Skye tilts her head, a doubtful expression planted on her face, "How?"

I stare at her adoringly for longer, and a smile tugs at her lips.

Her teeth were so bright; it practically lit up more gloriously than the moon. This summer has told me that Skye was the torch I needed, not just for the horrible experience I had, but my awful problems in the past and present.

Skye was the torch in my hand that I never realized was there until I met her. Perhaps that's why I had such an attraction to her, such an interesting curiosity that makes me fixated on her every move, every word, everything she has and does. Skye was stronger than I ever was, she's making me understand how to handle pain in different ways and also teaching me the horrible ways to cope with pain. One of the only ways we can get through our struggles together is with our friends, with each other.

That's the thing about having problems, though; you'll never know who will be there for you when the problems occur, and you'll never know who won't be there. You won't ever know unless you talk to certain people and trust them.

Trust gets thrown around like a useless ragdoll, but in the right hands, you'll create lasting friendships that become family, and you'll find love in its purest form.

I trust too much, and people wonder why. If I coop up into a tiny ball all my life, I won't find out who to trust or who not to trust, who to give it too. Life is about taking risks, and trusting is a big risk in today's day and age.

It's a leap of faith.

"You've been through so much, and I'm sorry that I haven't done enough for you," I lean on her shoulder, the tears finally pouring out.

"Andre..." She strokes my cheek soothingly, which calms me down immensely and almost immediately. "You've done a lot for me, what do you mean?"

"I want to do more for you," I reply to her softly, feeling a hot blush coat my face.

I slowly raise my head up to see her pretty face, taking all of her in, her fair-skin, her long red hair tinged a soft blue in the moonlight - and those dark, almost ocean-coloured eyes.

Skye is absolutely, positively beautiful, and I'm so glad I can even lay my eyes on someone so amazing. And I'm thankful as hell that I can get to know someone like her for the rest of my life.


	35. Day 1

_Camping: Day 2_  
_5:00 a.m._  
_July. 23, 2019_

Skye's P.O.V.

My eyes flutter open at the sound of voices outside the tent. Last night seemed like a dream, all the words Andre had told me sounds like a blur in my head. But I remember them, all of what he said. I still feel his touch, his comforting actions as I cried in his arms.

It'd been a fantasy before all of this, to feel the touch of another person that wasn't a slap, or a kick, or a punch. Last night I had grasped the goodness of a human's touch, the tenderness of it. I started to believe more and more, that someone cared about me, and I fully trust that Andre does care about me; I could feel it radiating off him.

I peer over to the other side of the tent, seeing Andre's sleeping face in front of me. He looks so peaceful.

I'm assuming he wouldn't wake up until later, considering we had stayed up until three. I'd only gotten two hours of sleep, yet I feel so awake now, so full of energy. Perhaps, maybe last night was a dream.

The chatter entices me to sit up and crawl to the window of the tent. I unzip it, seeing Miguel, Christie, and John tending to an early morning campfire, still quietly talking amongst themselves.

Christie's eyes pass mine, tilting her head when she notices me spying on them through the dark, wired window.

"Morning, Love! Do you care to join us for some tea?" She gestures at a small cauldron hanging above the fire, the flame barely licking the bottom of it.

I chuckle noiselessly. "That's the most British thing I've heard," I reply.

She rolls her eyes, smiling widely, "Is that a yes or no?"

I nod my head, sealing the window shut and unzipping the entrance of the tent. I slip on a pair of socks before tucking my feet inside my shoes, and then finally sliding out the small opening I made for myself.

I stretch my body backward, reaching up high and all the nooks and crannies in my back loosen.

Christie slides up next to me, a mug in her hand. She gently blows on the surface of the tea, "It'll still be quite hot, so be careful."

I roll down the sleeves of Andre's sweater, using it as a shield for the hot mug. I take the cup from her, carefully taking a sip of the soothing tea.

I saunter over to the two boys, sitting down on the logs from last night and drinking from their own cups.

"Woah," John pushes up his glasses and squints at me.

"What is it?" I ask him, raising an eyebrow.

A subtle smile touches the corner of his lips. "I've never seen you barefaced before," he says.

I put a finger on my lips, remembering that I had washed my face last night after I went stargazing. "Surprised?" I awkwardly chuckle and wave my hands.

John shakes his head. "No," he says. "Behind all that gothic makeup is just the same Skye we've known since day one."

I furrow my brow, "Day one? What do you mean?"

"You know, like, have you heard of the song, 'Day 1?'"

"Uh, I don't recall such a song."

He clears his throat. "Let me sing it."

"Cover your ears," Miguel adds, stating at John amusedly.

He groans, offended. "Shut up, man! I am a fantastic singer."

"I beg to differ," I quip back.

John glares at us both, clearing his throat even louder. "Anyway! If I wasn't so rudely interrupted," he scowls, closing his eyes. My ears pick up the sound of a tent's entrance being unzipped, and I turn around to see Julianna.

"You guys are loud," she yawns, tiredness still clouding her eyes. "I also heard there was tea."

Christie lights up, her ears seeming to perk up. "C'mere! There's plenty," she pats on a spot of the thick log, gesturing for Julianna to come to sit.

I adjust the grip I had on the mug, sipping it carefully. "We're waiting to hear you sing, John," I remind him.

"I know, Skye," he sounds thankful in his tone, sheepishly smiling at me.

"You'll always be my day one.

Day zero when I was no one

I'm nothing by myself, you and no one else.

Thankful you're my day one

Thankful you're my

I got lucky finding you-"

"I've heard enough," I stop him immediately, smirking.

John frowns, offended. "Is my singing that bad?"

I finish my cup of tea and find his eyes. "No, it's just... the lyrics are cheesy."

He scoffs, "Says the one who listens to One Direction and T-Swift."

My body heats instantly, and my eyes widen at what he said. I sense that Miguel, Christie, and Julianna staring at me, and I'm surprised as they are. How the hell did he know that?"

"No- I-" I stutter, embarrassed. And also furious that Andre probably told him. "How would you know anyway?"

He laughs hysterically, waving me away. "Don't be mad at Andre, but he told-"

"WHY WOULD HE TELL YOU, DUDE?" I disregard the volume of my voice, standing up from my log. Christie and Julianna are quick to hold me back, their arms tugging at my waist.

"Shhh! Quiet down!" John annoyingly shushes me. "Hey. We don't care what music you like! I like 1D and T-Swift, too!"

My blood simmers down, feeling Christie's shivering arms sitting me back down, then massaging my shoulders.

"Yeah, we grew up listening to them," Julianna chimes in, shrugging. "We just find it a little funny because it's so unexpected from someone like you. We didn't know our hardcore Goth Queen listened to trendy pop music."

This time, I laugh briefly, but I quickly catch myself and bite my lip. The nickname Julianna gave me always made me feel jittery because I admittedly liked it a lot.

She approaches me from the side, hugging me tightly. "I knew that'd make you smile!" Julianna cheers.

I pat her shoulder, gently pushing her off. "Too much, too much," I reply.

Miguel sighs, moving the cauldron and putting a pan directly onto a grill-grate.

"Are you going to make breakfast?" Christie asks excitedly.

My stomach grumbles at the word.

"Did somebody say breakfast?" A groggy voice trumpets behind us.

The anger from earlier resurfaces and I turn around slowly, trying to calm my senses when I see Andre. I still couldn't believe that he fucking told John and everyone else. Like, I understand that they don't mind and they can relate to my guilty pleasures, but I trusted Andre not to tell anyone. If I wanted them to know, I'd tell them myself.

He raises his brows at me when he sees my face and laughs.

"Why so mad?" He studies my face for a moment, his eyes lighting up, clicking. "Oh, you found out I told Jolo."

Andre snickers, giving me a look and biting his lip.

Why did he have to do that? I hated it when he bit his lip. Mostly because I loved the look he gave me coupled with the lip biting. Fuck, I hated that I loved it. I shouldn't have to get butterflies in my stomach over his looks. I should be used to seeing that look now, especially since he's given it to me many times.

"The sun is barely up yet," Andre yawns, and the cute look he was giving me disappears. "I'm gonna sleep for a couple more minutes. You guys eat if you want. I'll come out when the sun is up."

John scoffs, "C'mon, Andre. Don't be lazy."

He only yawns again, waving John off and climbing back inside the tent. He seals the entrance and part of me wants to plead for him to come and watch the sunrise with us, but he's probably tired from last night, mainly since we stayed out so late.

"Don't you wanna watch a beautiful sunrise?" Julianna raises her voice, trying to entice him to come out.

Andre sighs, looking through the window of the tent. "I would love too, but nothing beat the sunrise on July 6th a couple weeks ago," He says, finding my eyes. "The sunrise wasn't outside, nor in the morning, it was inside a mall. And the sunrise was more of a person that came out of a store."

His head fades into the darkness, laughing wildly after. "I think you guys get the picture."

Was he talking about me? I remember that day vividly, too, and that was the first time I saw Andre. He was already looking at me, but I like to think that we found each other's eyes at the same time.

The butterflies came back so soon, it tickles so much.

Christie carries a carton of eggs to Miguel, setting them down in his hands.

"What happened on July 6th?" She asks curiously.

John snickers smugly. "Andre and Skye gave love-eyes to each other and boom," he blurts, making an explosion with his hands. "Instant connection."

I shyly glance down on the floor and suddenly taste the heat of the sun touch my face.

I gaze up, everyone already fixated on the rising, yellow sun. The sun casts its orange light on the trees and on us and the dirt road fully lights up. The heat hits us instantly, even with the wind flowing through our campsite.

The sun blooms in the horizon, its golden petals stretching outwards into the vibrant blue sky. The quiet of the dawn looms over Pikelake, protecting it, though I didn't feel protected at all by the light. Hiding in the dark worked better for me, no one would be able to find me. Especially my family.

The only protection I did feel was in Andre's arms when he had me there. And around me, my friends - this 'family' I'm still trying to accept as my own. I wonder if my gestures make them like me more, or if the person I am does it. It's hard to tell, for me anyway. I bet a blind man could probably give me the answer, and it would be an answer I wouldn't accept because of that fear of abandonment, it resides inside me, bubbling. Just like the sun, it rises and sets. I can't get rid of it, and I'm afraid that it's apart of me.

A few birds chirp around above us, landing in the ample shade from the shadows, cast from the trees and Nick's trailer. I peep over at the park table, someone had scattered their sunflower seeds all over it.

I walk up to take a handful and chuck a few to the birds. The seeds are flavourless, so they're safe for the brown birds relaxing in the shade. They happily accept my offering, tilting their heads briefly before flying away, presumably into their nests.

"I don't understand why those birds couldn't have just gotten the seeds themselves," John wonders aloud. "They were scattered all over the table."

Miguel pokes at the flames with a thin branch, "They probably didn't trust the table."

"It's a fucking table," John replies bluntly. "They run away from things that move, the table is stationary."

"They don't run away, they fly away," Julianna corrects him.

"Wow! Really?" He rolls his eyes, smiling sarcastically. "You know what I meant, Jyanna."

Julianna twirls her head at him, "They probably didn't trust the table. When Skye tossed the seeds at them, they knew they were okay to eat."

I giggle loudly, in disbelief of what she said. "For all they know, I could've poisoned the seeds."

"That's sickening," Christie comments, flipping the strips of bacon on the pan. "Did you actually?"

I ease away from the fire, grabbing a few more seeds and tossing them into my mouth.

"This answer your question?" I mumble with my mouth full.

She nods sceptically and focuses back on her cooking.

I glance behind me at my tent, anxious for Andre to come out. I hadn't felt like this before, even when I had to return home the first time, I didn't sense any anxiousness to see him or hear him or feel his arms around me. Something was different now, and I can't find out why. The answer is out in the open world, so visible, yet I can't see it.

I reach over for the zipper, but the door starts to unzip on its own. I stagger back a few steps and smirk.

"Right on time," I smile at Andre, crawling out of the tent again.

He dusts himself off, standing tall in front of me, "Hey Skye-With-An-E. Still mad?"

I cross my arms and spin around, sauntering back to my seat.

"I don't know, am I?" I answer back, playing around with his emotions. "Come here and have some breakfast."

Andre sits right next to me, a little closer than I anticipated. If I scooch over any further, I fall off the log.

"Have you eaten yet?" He asks, a hint of concern in his voice.

I shake my head. "Was waiting for you," I admit.

Andre beams in surprise, "How sweet of you."

"Don't get any wrong ideas, Tiger," I reply, teasing him. I walk up to Miguel, who is plating his share of the eggs and bacon. "You mind if we use the pan?"

He smiles sadly, "Sorry," he says. "John had second dibs."

"Julianna and I can cook for you both," John offers, pointing a spatula at us. "Pan fits about three batches."

I glimpse back at Andre, and he shrugs.

"If Skye wants to wait, then so will I," he blurts.

"You sure?" John cracks an egg into the pan. It sizzles immediately, the fragrance of it flooding my nose. "We're planning to cook for everyone else."

Andre points his lips on a crooked rock with a pointed tip at the top of it, resembling a mountain. He squats down to hoist it up, grunting once he's back on his feet.

"No need, Jolo," He huffs, carrying the rock. "Heavier than it looks, ain't it?"

Julianna brings another pack of bacon and hands it to John. "What are you going to do with that?"

"We're gonna cook on a rock!" Andre squeals in excitement. "I always see people doing these on like, primitive survival videos. Wanted to give it a try."

Miguel scrunches his nose, the crinkles in his eyes, deepening, "That seems unsanitary."

"Not really," I reply. "The fire is gonna kill any bad germs on the rock."

I've actually wanted to try this when we first got here. I'm also an avid watcher of primitive building and cooking videos at three a.m. during those nights of insomnia.

Miguel sighs, "You guys do you, I guess."

"I bet it'll turn out great, darling," Christie rubs Miguel's shoulder. "If you don't mind, Skye, I'd like to have a piece of the finished product."

I nod, "Yeah, Andre'll probably be okay with that."

"For sure," he flashes Christie a finger gun and drops the rock down onto the fire, flat side up. "I need something to grease this up."

I turn to the gazebo, walking inside. The box of food-stuffs is right next to the entrance.

"I brought pam," I tell Andre, who had approached the front of the gazebo, his tall frame shading me from the now hot sun.

He gives me a wink, and I start to stumble when digging into the box. He just had to make me fluster at a moment like this, it's so like him to do that, and he knew.

I reach out from a gap on the ground, and I roll the can of pam into his open palm.

"Thanks, Skye-With-An-E."

"Yup."

Going back to the fire, I kneel down next to Andre, who's now spraying the rock from both sides full of pam.

"You're going overboard, sir," I swipe the pam away from his hands.

"I don't want the bacon to stick," he replies.

"They won't stick," I argue, laughing. "The bacon fat will render enough, you don't need it this greased up."

He rolls his eyes and grins, "Go get the bacon and eggs then."

I snap my fingers together, catching Miguel and John's attention. "One of you, get me the bacon and eggs."

"Manners, Skye, manners," John quips, flipping multiple strips of bacon at once.

I stare at him blank-faced. "Sorry, let me try again," I clear my throat. "Get the eggs and bacon, now."

He sighs, "Wow, rude." John heaves himself off one foot, and from the edge of his lips, I see a tiny smirk.

"Here, Skye," Julianna taps my shoulder, passing me the eggs. "I told Miguel to wake up the others, so just let him do his thing."

I smile at her thankfully, handing Andre four eggs. He cracks them one by one on the rock and opens them up above it. It sizzles loudly, a small chunk of the egg splashing onto his thigh. He splits open the rest and then leans against a tree, watching the egg whites solidify before his eyes.

"Andre, catch," John tosses the pack of bacon his way.

He narrowly catches it with his left hand, flicking his neck at John, who smiles before tending to his busy pan.

Andre holds the bacon in front of me, "You do the honours."

I accept his gesture and peel off four strips, laying them down carefully next to the eggs. The bacon crackles as it hits the hot rock, bubbling instantly. The scent of it floods straight into my nose, causing my stomach to grumble noisily.

"Someone's hungry," Andre says, nudging me.

I slide closer to him, slightly leaning on his chest. "I was awake since five o'clock."

Andre shifts his gaze to me, kissing the side of my head softly. "How much sleep did you get? Y'know, since we stayed out pretty late."

Waves of relief wash over me in intervals. Last night wasn't a dream. I bite my lip, trying to hold in all the happiness attempting to burst out of me. I conceal my face as the heat starts to settle on the edges of my cheeks.

"Yeah, we were," I stutter. "I only got two hours of sleep."

I glance up at him, and I notice a sad smile touch his lips. "You're not tired or anything, are you?"

"Nope, I actually felt really good when I woke up."

He fondly pokes my forehead, just as he had done countless times before. "That's great, Skye."

His arm snakes around my neck, and he pulls me in closer. The warmth of his arms can't compete with the heat of the campfire. If I had to choose one or the other to stay warm, I'd choose Andre's arms in a heartbeat. Ironically, his heart is thumping on my shoulder, and every time I stare up at him, the pace quickens. How sweet; it's as if my eyes alone can cause this type of reaction.

I take the tongs from Andre's hands and flip the bacon. "The strips caramelized fast, didn't they?"

He nods, "The rock heat up fast, I suppose."

From the corner of my eye, I see Marjorie's head poking out of her tent. Her hair is a wild mess; tumbled and ruffled up. She scratches the side of her head, squinting at the sudden sunlight hitting her face.

"Someone had a good sleep," I call out to her.

She barely lifts a hand to wave at me. "Mhm," she mumbles unamused.

Marjorie wobbly takes a seat next to John and Julianna, greeting her with awkward stares. Christie squats down behind Marjorie, tapping her shoulder.

She turns around, and Christie gives her a cup of tea.

"You're lucky it's still warm," she shyly tucks a lock behind her ear.

Marjorie sips loudly, groaning. "Why are you two cooking on a rock?"

"Felt like it," Andre replies. "Hungover?"

She smirks, "Barely. I didn't even drink that much last night. I guess my sleeping schedule just did a full one-eighty."

"Yes, we all will have fucked up sleeping schedules by the end of the week. It always happens on camping trips," Miguel slyly slips an arm around Christie's waist. "Camping hits different."

Julianna snorts at his remark, "You're telling me that? You know my sleeping schedule stays perfect even after trips like this."

"So you've been waking up this early every day?" John butts in.

She scoffs, "No. I'm saying even after messing it up, I can fix it faster than any of you."

John defensively throws his hands up, "Wow! I'm so impressed!"

"Oh, don't even start," Julianna waves him off.

I wonder if those two are genuinely trying to piss each other off, or just messing around. I'm beginning to see how something that seems so perfect can still be this dysfunctional if they're fighting for real that is.

If it is, this is really petty, even up to Jyanna and John's standards.

"You guys bicker too often about stupid shit," Andre interrupts. "Really stupid shit."

"You're one to talk," Julianna glares at him across the fire.

Surprised, he retorts, "You're serious? I was just making a joke."

She sighs, "Can't you see I'm being serious, Andre?"

"Of course I don't," he scrunches his nose. "Who gets defensive about something small like this."

I slowly raise a hand, but Andre grabs it half-way up into the air. "Don't you start, Skye."

John and Miguel start giggling profusely, while Marjorie covers her ears under the hood she's wearing.

"Look what you caused, Miguel," John points a finger.

Andre jeers, "You sir, are the biggest instigator on the planet."

"Who says I was instigating?" He retorts, finally plating the bacon.

Julianna stands up and walks away without a word; she's most likely going to take some plates for the people who are asleep.

I set my attention back onto the food, and snicker, nudging Andre's rib with my elbow. "You should've shaped the eggs into skulls."

"You would've liked that," Andre nods. "How?"

"If you had brought a skull-shaped egg mould, it'd been possible," I gander up at his face, catching sight of his jawline.

He turns to me, and I panic; glancing away at something across from me.

"You're cute," Andre comments, a playful gaze planted on his face.

I bite my lip, hoping he hadn't caught me staring at him.

"Psst, the food is ready," Andre holds a plate out in front of the rock. "This is your plate, so just take as much as you want."

"Are you sure? Aren't you hungry?" I ask, grabbing the spatula resting on the rock.

He nods, "I'm sure. And no, I'm not that hungry."

I oblige, putting three eggs and two strips of bacon onto the plate. He hands it to me, and I pass him the spatula as he takes hold of his plate. "There's utensils where Marjorie is right now."

I stand up, steadily holding the plate while I walk over to Marjorie. She notices me, and the grim, tired appearance she had before starts turning into a cheerful one.

"I missed you, Skye," she says wearily, setting a fork down on my plate. She sips carefully on her tea, veering her attention to John and Julianna plating their batch of bacon and eggs.

I scoff, "Are you gonna tell me that every time we're away from each other?"

"Yup. Believe me, it'll be more bearable than Andre's 'flirts.'"

Andre whistles at us. "I heard that, Cockhead," he scowls.

We both laugh at his remark as he hand-feeds himself a piece of bacon. Which reminds me to eat as well, using the fork to cut myself a piece of egg white.

I plop it into my mouth; it is tasty. The only problem is, we forgot one thing.

"You forgot to season the eggs, cockhead," I hit him back with the same name, shaking my head.

"It's still good, right?" He almost sounds insecure now.

I nod, "Of course it is. The fact that it was made on a rock makes it tastier."

"Only geniuses would've thought about cooking like this!" He yells back.

John glances behind him, smirking, "Yeah, cavemen."

Andre's face falls, and he sighs, disappointed, "I'm not talking to John until tomorrow."

John giggles, causing us to laugh at Andre again. He chuckles along with us, though it's apparent he's trying to hold it in.

"So, uh," Marjorie nudges me, a suspicious smile spreading from her lips.

Part of me knows what she's about to bug me about Andre; she was in clear view of us messing around and was probably watching.

"Yes, M.J.?"

She bites her lip, mischievously, "Did he ask you out?

Okay, okay, way off on what I thought she was going to say. I was expecting, 'Did you tell him about your feelings?' Or, 'Did you two talk about-' shit like that.

I fumble my words, still caught off guard, "N-No, he didn't. Why would he anyway?"

Marjorie groans, annoyed. "Did you forget what we told you already?" She asks, raising her voice. "Did you forget what I told you?"

I shake my head instead of answering.

"Repeat what I had said then," Marjorie demands.

John stops me the moment I open my mouth, almost muttering out the words. He gasps briefly, "Before you two start talking about some shit I probably shouldn't know, should I leave? Or keep eavesdropping?"

Marjorie puts a hand on her face, placing the mug down next to her feet. "Doesn't matter to me; this is something I said yesterday," Marjorie replies. "Maybe to Skye it does."

My eyes find John, still sitting in the same place where we last saw him, eating from his own plate. He looks down, opting to stare at his food instead.

"I don't mind what you do, John," I lie; a sense of discomfort looming over me.

It's not that I didn't trust him, I just felt uncomfortable about quoting Marjorie in front of him. It had nothing to do with me, too. She talked about Andre last night, and how he apparently looks at me like I'm his whole world.

Andre did somewhat admit it to me last night, but it still strayed far away from what she had said. The only way to truly find out if it's true is if he tells me straight-up; there's no way I can confirm that big of a claim by just studying the way he looks at me.

Hell, if I stare at Andre too long, the butterflies come back to tickle my stomach; making me want to scream and shout to that playful feeling. And if that side of me ever comes out, I'd go into hiding; they wouldn't see me until we reached the life after this one.

"I think I'll go," John scans my face, breathing his patient breath. He knows I lied; when I had my first real talk with John, he read me like an open book, and he's doing the same right now. "Tell me if y'all need anything, though."

I sigh in relief, nodding thankfully.

"Thanks, Jolo," Marjorie says. We both watch him walk off to Miguel, Christie, and Julianna; who were preparing the plates for the rest of our friends.

She turns back to me. "Now, repeat it to me."

I gulp; I'm afraid that when I say it, I'll start smiling or worse, my face transforms bright red. They always teased me about that, but even before I was close with them, I'd try to cover my face when I knew it was about to happen.

"He-" I hesitate, feeling Marjorie's eyes scanning my face. "He looks at me like I'm his whole world."

Marjorie grins proudly, "Good! Now tell me-"

"WHAT THE FUCK! I NOTICED THAT TOO!" John utters out suddenly, prompting everyone to stare at him.

I slap my face so hard that the sound echoes out after the silence descends on us.

"Jolo is seeing things again," Andre mutters in his corner, still next to the fire. "What is it this time?"

The amused, excited expression from John's face distort into a panicked one.

"Nothing! I thought I saw something in uh- the- uh-"

Holy shit, I swear I could strangle him right now. But I keep my cool, moving my attention back to Marjorie to avoid certain suspicion that we two were involved.

The conversation between John and Andre meander behind me, and I try my best to ignore every ounce of it. John fully realized at that moment he fucked up, so I know he wouldn't spill any of his guts if he knew what was good for him.

If he did, I might have to literally spill his guts.

While in the middle of that, everyone had been awoken by Christie and Julianna. John had to leave his conversation with Andre to give everyone their meals. Lance and Nick are the first two to leave their sleeping areas. Tagu came out of her tent just a few minutes ago and doesn't look at all happy; her sleep must have been fantastic, and the two girls had to ruin it. She's inside the gazebo with John, who's trying his best to comfort her and getting her to eat.

Thu Thu had gotten up as well but went over to Quinn's campsite to see if she was awake and was willing to come down to eat with us. She isn't back yet.

Everyone is underneath the shade provided by our blue tarp roof. We hung them up using wooden rods and nearby sturdy branches. Miguel and Andre argued that if it rained, our tents - aside from Nick's trailer, and the gazebo would be perfectly dry. Also, the sun wouldn't make the insides of the tents unbearable hot. Though part of Andre and I's tent is just slightly leaking out past the tarp roof.

Marjorie taps my knee then nods approvingly, "Anyway. What I was trying to say was, did you see what we see?"

"Yes," I can scarcely hear my own voice.

She rubs her chin, angling her head back slightly. "Let me rephrase my question from earlier into something more doable - did you tell him how you feel?"

I shake my head as an answer.

The spark in Marjorie's eyes fades away; I don't think that was the reply she was looking too.

Her mouth opens for a brief second until her eyes glance past my face and seem to be scanning behind me. I turn around as well and see Andre standing up.

I silently thank Marjorie by bumping fists with her - something I don't often do. Who am I kidding, I've never had to do that for anyone.

Andre approaches and circles around us, grabbing himself utensils before sitting down on the chair next to Marjorie's.

"Hey, there," he snaps his neck at me—my heart races.

"Hi," I nearly stutter but catch myself at the last second.

Marjorie coughs, "How are you not done eating yet?"

"Bacon and eggs are savoury foods for a reason," He chews on a small piece of egg white. "I see everyone is awake now. Surprised no one came by the campfire."

"The sun is warm enough as is," Marjorie replies. "Thu Thu ain't back yet either."

Andre scans Marjorie, frowning when he notices what she's still wearing.

"You slept in your senior jersey?" He asks dejectedly. I nearly have to read his lips to figure out what he'd asked her.

"Yup. Still feel bad for not getting one?" She inquires bluntly. She leans in closer to us both and lets out a hollow breath. "Why'd you wanna move? We can talk about it right now, while the others are pre-occupied."

Andre knows he can tell Marjorie anything, but his face is telling me otherwise. I try reassuring him, brushing my fingers against his hand, which is resting on an armrest. He hardly glances at me in response.

"I wanted to move because of what happened to me in 10th grade, and how I felt during all of 11th grade," he stutters.

John had told me before what happened to him; it infuriated me, and it still does. If I ever find those people I'll give them a piece of my mind.

Marjorie's composure snaps; her eyebrows twitching a little bit at his remark. Remorse replaces the calmness from earlier, and she seems to know where Andre's head is at.

"You know, some of them are good guys-"

Andre scoffs, cutting her off, "Don't you start either."

Marjorie eyes the floor, hiding the sad gaze on her face. "Andre, I've always known you as accepting and empathetic. How is it that you can't get yourself to look at the good in some of them?"

"You know why?" He breathes in slowly, trying to keep himself composed. "Because, out of all of them, the only one that told me about what they'd been doing was Josh Chavez. Not John, not Greg or Janus, not even Peji - all friends I had during elementary. And even the few I made friends with and developed a trust in didn't spill me on anything. Should I keep going, M.J.?"

I've never seen Andre so mad. He doesn't sound mad; his voice sounds entirely relaxed, however with a hint of sharpness. He's biting on his bottom lip, hard, as if he'd been holding back tears. In this case, he's holding back the anger welling inside him.

I'm certain he'll burst out if Marjorie keeps him talking. From the looks of it, she switched into defending her stance.

I tug on her arm subtly, letting her know that she should stop. She briefly glances at me, shaking her head.

This would not end well.

Marjorie gulps, "I realize that, but you have to understand that some of them still look at you as a great friend and person."

Andre laughs, but he doesn't appear amused. "I know, Marjorie, but my trust's broken. I wanna leave. The only reason why I'm even partly considering to stay is that you all came back into my life. Excuse me for wanting a fresh start."

Marjorie leans back in her chair, and she seems to be backing down, "I heard it happened during some part of 11th grade, but during semester two, nothing happened. Why would you wanna leave?"

"I-" He waits, putting his empty plate down by his feet. "I don't feel comfortable there anymore. I don't- I don't feel like I belong there. You guys make me feel welcome, don't get me wrong, y'all are my family. But a lot of you hang with those guys, and I'm not comfortable around them especially. I still trust the names I mentioned, but the rest of them, I don't know. I feel like the odd-one-out and feel as if no one is comfortable around me either."

"Even the names you mentioned?"

"I just- no. They're fine, they've been my friends for a long time."

"Can you tell me the names of who you don't wanna be around?" Marjorie asks. Such a ballsy question, Andre is clearly hesitating, and she's throwing him these hard questions.

He shakes his head, "I don't want to, Marjorie. I'll tell you them later, but right now, I can't."

"Fair enough," she obliges with his offer.

Andre rubs his forehead momentarily, then looks back up at Marjorie. "I did some bad shit," he says. "I started vaping, and I know some may argue that it isn't as bad as it looks, but me? People wouldn't and didn't expect me to go down that rabbit hole."

My mouth gapes open slightly. Whoever he's mentioning, their judgements about Andre were almost spot-on. I didn't peg him for the type to do those kinds of things, either, aside from drinking.

"Did you do drugs?" I impulsively ask; the concern I have for him swelling inside me.

"Almost," he nods, disappointed in himself. "I needed that escape. I didn't wanna think about the laughing they did behind my back, nor did I wanna think of the shit they say behind my back. Instead of falling into a deeper hole, I came to the conclusion I should just move. There's no point in staying in such a toxic situation."

His voice seems to sharpen, much to Marjorie's dismay.

"Andre..." Marjorie frowns. "Just remember what I said about you."

I reach out and twine my fingers through his. The stiffness in his arm softens, and so does his body. He looks more relaxed sitting here with us two.

"If it makes you feel better, I wanna move from my school, too," I tell him. "I was dragged into going there because of my br- my parents."

That was too close. Panic ensues inside me, knowing that if I spilt that information, I would've had to tell them about Brian. I still don't know how they'd react if they knew Brian was my brother - they hate his guts. Even with these two, their reaction is unpredictable, especially since Marjorie showed that she was affected by something he did to her. The boys did not want to be reminded of that incident either. I'm still trying to pinpoint what Brian had done, out of all the other fucked up shit he'd done before. There's too many to count.

I shiver, but Andre rubs his thumb over my hand, calming me down instantly.

"Where do you wanna move?" He studies my face and locks eyes with me.

"A place that isn't named, 'Holy Cross High School,'" I tell him straight up. "Don't get me wrong, the people there are nice. But the few people that got involved me were just a bunch of assholes. Those fucking snakes used me."

"Reminds me of B.J.M.," Andre quips, smirking. "God, I hate B.J.M."

I sigh, "In some ways, you and I are in the same position."

Andre pulls my hand to his lips, and he kisses it softly. "At least we kind of had a fresh start. You met us, and I met you. New people bring new atmosphere around them, and becoming friends and close with those people makes things exciting again."

Marjorie smiles at his remark. "See! That's the Andre I know," She leans forward, resting her face against the palms of her hands. "If you do move, though, just know I'll miss you."

Andre smiles sadly, looking up at her then up at the sky. "I'll miss you too."

He looks conflicted, hearing Marjorie say that may have pulled at one of his heartstrings.

Whether it would work or not, Andre is probably going to move. Going through something like that is harder for some people, and Andre has a soft heart. He can't handle it and can't find a solution around it. Some might view his inevitable move as the easy way out, but I say it's an escape from the real problem.

If only I could escape from my own family.


	36. Summer Days

_Camping: Day 2_  
_12:00 p.m._  
_July. 23, 2019_

Skye's POV

The others are getting their things ready for a swim. We - or should I say they - had an argument of where to go first; the lake or the swimming pool. I was consulted by them, but I simply said that wherever we went, we'd still be spending time in the water.

Lance and Julianna put it up to a vote, and the lot of us wanted to go to the pool first, but it was quickly overruled by Christie.

She claimed that if we went to the lake first, we'd have to face the much colder water sooner than if we went to the pool. By the time we do get to the pool, the water would be warm.

She had a point, so now we're going over what we needed to take with us.

"Umbrella?" Julianna calls. John hoists it over his shoulder, his ninja headband slightly flowing in the calm, warm wind.

I feel a slight nudge on my rib, and looking over, Marjorie gestures me to come behind a tent.

"What is it?"

"You brought a swimsuit, right?" She ruffles my hair annoyingly. I slouch.

"Yes, I did," I bite my lip, feeling embarrassed.

She smiles, "Is it black?"

I scoff, amused, "How'd you know?"

"Skye always wears black," Marjorie adds, raising an eyebrow. She scans me up and down, "And I can see through your shirt."

"It ain't my shirt," I cross my arms. "I don't own any white, oversized t-shirts."

Marjorie snickers, knowing exactly whose shirt I'm wearing, "You seem kinda stiff. Is there something wrong?"

I gulp, "No. I just don't like swimming."

She wraps her hands around my neck and undoes my necklace. I quickly unbuckle my bracelet and give it to her.

"Almost forgot," I admit. "Put it in Andre and I's tent."

Marjorie opens a gap through the tent's entrance and crawls in to seal away my jewelry. My bare legs shiver under the shade. I hear our names being called and peering over; most of them already began to head off.

Marjorie scurries out from the tent and zips it up quickly. She grabs me by the arm, dragging me. I let out a chuckle.

"Slow down! They aren't gonna leave us," I break away from her grip, still laughing.

She stops for me, panting. "Fuck, I'm unfit. You wanna go on a jog later this evening? If nothing comes up?"

I nod almost instantly, "Sure! I haven't done much jogging since-" a saddening cloud looms over me. "You know."

Marjorie frowns, motioning me to walk by her side.

None of them knows about my fear of being in the water, and I can't say that I'm ready to tell them. I'm not insecure about my fears, especially after my talk with Andre that one stormy night. I didn't expect to go swimming before the summer started, hell, I never expected to go swimming again. I wanted to spend time with my friends, and I can expect them pitying me if they leave me alone on the beach. I didn't want them to pity me for my fear, either.

I wasn't always scared of swimming. I was actually quite excited about swimming as a kid since my family had a pool in our backyard. However, one day, I scaled the outside edges of the pool on foot, trying to figure out how deep the deep end was. I was maybe ten or twelve. Andre always calls me short now, but back then, I was a pipsqueak, Jesus, I was tiny.

I knelt down to see the label of how deep the water was on the far end of the pool, and it said 8 feet. I decided that it was too deep and that I should just stick to the end where my feet could touch the floor.

As I was standing back up, I immediately felt my feet slip off the floor. I was flying into the pool, fast. Midair, I still had a chance to take a look behind me to see who or what pushed me.

It was Brian, his maniacal smile and laugh was the last thing I heard and saw before my body hit the water. There was a rush to falling down, but this didn't feel good. No, it was the rush you would feel just before you would die.

My head was underwater, and I was panicking. My feet couldn't reach the bottom, so in response, my arms flailed around instead. Barely keeping my head above water, I couldn't breathe, I really thought I would drown.

The only way I got out was because one of my parents had to throw me a life tube or make Brian come and get me.

Brian always pushed me into the pool on several occasions, and the outcome was the same. I'd be near death before I'd be brought back up.

And every time, it was the same. I'd be yelled at for how stupid I was for falling in the pool even though I'd explain that Brian pushed me into it - every time. They always took his side, claiming that even though he did push me, he'd always come and get me.

 _'Learn how to swim! Stop being so stupid! If you know he's going to push you, then learn!'_ They'd say.

Today is the day I would learn. I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it.

"Can't believe Andre ditched you," she blurts.

I shake my head, "Nah, he didn't mean too. He only left so early to buy something at the convenience store."

Marjorie doesn't reply. We're maybe a few or more steps away from everyone else. Their tiny figures can be seen in the distance.

"Oh! By the way, John and Tagu had this stupid, but fun idea for a game at the pool," Marjorie chimes.

"Yeah? Hit me with it."

"Okay, so, you need a partner - one has to be in the water and one on top of your shoulders. The ones above the water have to use a pool noodle to knock the other down. Whoever is left standing - or in this case, still out of the water - wins."

I grin at the idea—time to surprise these fools more with my unbelievable strength.

"So, it's water jousting?" I add to her explanation.

"Yes! We have to play it, c'mon!" She insists, and almost sounds like I had declined the idea of playing.

I nod my head. "I didn't say no, Marjorie," I clarify, putting an arm around her waist. "It'll be fun seeing you idiots lose your dignity at the hands of the smallest one here."

I almost had forgotten about my phobia, but somehow, that simple idea of having fun washed it away. Remembering it now, playing this game over in my head starts to look less and less fun. I don't tell Marjorie, though. It'd break her heart.

We're half-way to the beach, just passing by the tipi in the centre of the park. There's a group of people inside it, the aroma of different foods escaping from inside.

"Are we ever gonna use that during our stay?" I bump Marjorie's shoulder with mine and motion my neck towards the rusty wooden structure.

Marjorie looks over and shrugs, "We could. It'd be nice to have a few drinks there. The only problem is we're underage, and there's a curfew."

I chuckle, "That's why we have to be stealthy."

She shakes her head, this time laughing. "Can't really be 'stealthy' when Andre and John yap too much when they're drunk."

I sigh at the thought and nod in agreement. Marjorie's arm collides with my chest, forcing me to stop. I stare at her, confused until she points her lips in front of her.

I turn my head back to where she pointed. My mouth starts to gape open; the image in front of me is going to be one of those memories that never leave my mind, a good one for once.

The sun shimmers brightly on the blue lake, almost blinding me when I stare directly at it. I squint, scanning the beach and see Tagu and John sitting under the rays of light, fidgeting around in the sand.

Tagu had brought sand pales with her, the ones that are meant to mould wet sand into castles or a part of it. Her legs are sprawled out, and her hands quickly gather wet sand then pack it into the bucket.

John notices his us, his head straightening. He looks as alert as a dog, and he begins to wave. Marjorie and I wave back.

Just a few feet behind Tagu and John, Andre is there, under an umbrella and sitting on a beach chair. He still has a shirt on and the sunglasses he was wearing earlier. Nick is next to him, asleep on his own chair.

"Are Andre's sunglasses prescripted?" I ask curiously.

Marjorie shrugs. "Probably," she replies, scoffing. "Look, Thu Thu and Quinn are already in the water."

"Lance, Julianna, Miguel, and Christie are too."

I see them too, gulping. I'd have to be there soon. Even the beach's beautiful sight in front of me isn't enough to distract me from what's inevitable.

I huff, walking onto the sand with my slippers still on. Slipping them off, I let my feet sink into the ground. I kick the sand as I walk towards the group.

Marjorie rushes past me, bumping into my shoulder gently.

"LET ME MAKE THE SANDCASTLE WITH YOU!" She yells giddily.

Andre jolts up, startled. His head whiffs around wildly, then it seems his eyes find me. He removes his sunglasses, squints, and waves at me, smiling.

"You two are late," he notes, stretching.

I approach him, sitting down on the sand next to his chair under the umbrella. "Were you asleep?"

He nods, "Yup. Don't know how Nick over here didn't get startled awake from M.J's screaming."

"Sorry!" Marjorie tucks her hair behind her ear. "Wanted to help make the sandcastle."

I scoff, imitating a gag. "How cliche," I quip.

John glares at me, sounding insulted. "Sandcastles are fun! Well, making them is fun!"

Tagu quickly agrees, still jamming more wet sand into the pale. "Yeah, it's an excuse to get messy, too. Not every day you get to play with the wet stuff," she adds, letting sand fall out of her fingers' crevices.

She reaches for me, and I scream, laughing as I back away from her sandy fingers.

"Tagu!" I giggle, returning under the umbrella.

She winks at me and tosses me a smaller bucket with its own unique design. I tilt my head.

"There's no way I'm gonna help you make that," I say.

Tagu tucks the bucket under her arm, "Suit yourself."

"But Skye!" Marjorie frowns, and guilt starts to tickle my senses. She purses her lips and bats her eyes at me. "Awe, fine."

"Puppy eyes? Really? That doesn't work," I gulp, trying to resist the urge.

Marjorie sighs heavily, turning her head away.

Andre heaves himself off his chair and glances at me, "You can destroy it after. Like Godzilla."

"You could; it's bound to be destroyed by a random kid or person eventually," John tries to entice me. He's still gathering wet sad from a medium-sized hole they dugout with their hands.

"Seriously?" Marjorie huffs, flipping her now filled bucket on top of the sand. "It's gonna be too pretty to destroy, I don't recommend it."

Tagu pounds the surface of it, making sure every bit of wet sand is going to slip out. Carefully, she raises the bucket. The replica of a castle tower is moulded perfectly with just the material around them.

"Three against one, I'm destroying it after," I add, pointing at them. "BUT! We never, ever speak of this."

"Alright then," Tagu nods, agreeing.

"Wow," Marjorie answers, sitting back down onto the ground. "Since Skye rudely rejected me, I wanna go swimming soon. After we finish the last tower, I'm gone."

I giggle out loud, "Oh. boo-hoo."

"Fair enough," Andre puts his hands on my shoulders. "C'mon, don't make me scoop for you. I'll literally move your arms for you to do it with some effort."

Andre's POV

It'd been about thirty minutes since we started constructing the sandcastle; Skye added the finishing touches, which are the flags on the four tallest towers. She made the flags from toothpicks Nick had in his chair's pouch, and tiny ripped pieces from leaves she picked from a nearby tree just offshore. Speaking of, he had left to go swim with the others already in the water.

Our castle is a stone's throw away from the water, and there'd been plenty of times where the water nearly destroyed the castle. We were lucky choosing its spot, Tagu tried to make one near where we sat but getting wet sand was starting to get tricky. By that, I mean, we all started to get lazy digging, so we moved nearer to the water.

"Done!" Skye exclaims, holding her hands out in front of her. "The leaf flags are a nice touch."

"They were your idea, so yes, they give a nice touch," I tilt my head and ruffle her hair. "Don't worry, I cleaned my hands a while ago."

She laughs giddily, her face glowing, letting herself fall down onto the sand. "I don't mind, I was going to lay down anyway."

She rests her hands behind her head, squinting at the sky above her. We do the same, snuggling up next to her.

I sit up, leaning on my elbows. I poke Skye's forehead gently, getting her attention, "You wanna use my sunglasses? I don't feel like wearing 'em. And don't worry, they aren't prescripted."

Without a word, she takes them off my face and puts them on—a faint smile flashes on the corner of her lips.

John only hunkers on the ground, glancing at us. He gestures at Skye then to the sandcastle, "You can destroy it now."

Skye bolts up, her eyebrows furrowing. "No!"

Tagu casts herself up as well, "But I thought you wanted-"

"IT'S TOO PRETTY TO DESTROY!" Skye crawls to the sand structure and sits, guarding her position.

All of us exchange looks, biting, or sucking in our lips to hold in our laughs.

Skye lowers the sunglasses, eyeing all of us cautiously, "And if you ever speak of this moment, I will personally kill all of you."

I poke her forehead, "You did great, Skye. I'm happy you made a sandcastle with us."

Her face brightens, and her subtle yet pretty smile shines in my direction.

"C'mon, you guys," John hollers at us. We all turn to face him, and he removes his shirt with one hand and tosses it at me with the other. "The others are having fun without us!"

Tagu and Marjorie glimpse behind them. Skye looks on, biting her lip.

"I'll just head back to the umbrella, I need to put Andre's shirt somewhere," she rushes away.

"You coming?" Tagu tilts her head, pulling off her hair tie.

"I'll be out there in a sec," I point at the water with my lips. "Go, they're waiting. You too, M.J."

Marjorie motions towards the lake, not saying a single word.

I jog to the um

I face Skye again, her pale face sparkling slightly. I approach her carefully, setting myself behind her and tucking my chin on her head.

"What's the problem, Goth Queen?"

She gulps loudly and placing a hand above her chest, I can feel her heart beating frantically.

"I don't know if I can do it," Skye's voice drowns out from her own trembling.

I wrap my arms carefully around her, stroking my cheek against her hair. "You can do it. Just believe yourself that you have the strength to do this."

She shakes her head, leaning back into my chest. "I don't believe in myself," she admits, hesitantly.

I understand that much, having a fear controlling your perception of yourself. From what Skye indirectly taught me during that thunderstorm, is that if you let something control you, then you'll be more inclined to believe that it is true. For example, her parents have had this sick and twisted way of manipulating the way Skye thinks of herself - even though this girl with me is much more than words can describe.

"Skye," I kiss her cheek softly.

She stares up at me, startled but hopefulness glints in the dark part of her eyes.

"I believe in you," I tell her, and her heartbeat seems to slow down. "You see our friends in the water? They believe in you. They don't know about your fear, and guess what? They'll believe in you either way."

Skye stays silent, swallowing hard again and shrugging me off her.

"Skye," I call again. She turns around, looking past my eyes. "Believe in me, before you can believe in yourself. Because when you let yourself get sucked in by the water, I guarantee you, you'll believe in yourself more than you ever have in your life."

Her sad, lingering gaze glimmers of change on her face. She blinks, eyes transfixed on me and then on the water.

She begins to shrink away from me, heading slowly to the water. I squint, seeing her remove my shirt and letting the wind carry it away.

I sigh but can't help but succumb to the smile wanting to escape from within me. "I'll find that shirt later."

Running after her, I stay just a step away from the lake, the sand moulding itself in the shape of my feet.

My face heats up, seeing the curves of Skye's body more clearly. I try to breathe, but it feels as if I'm underwater, fighting for air instead. Her hair sparkles like the sunlight on the surface of the water. I'm hypnotized by its flow, the flow of her, and how beautiful she is. Skye walks into the water effortlessly - and not to mention confidently, deeper and deeper.

The way she walked, the confidence blooming out of her is something I rarely ever see. In fact, this might be the first time she had been bold enough to face something she was scared of for most of her life. The potential she has, I hope she sees it now.

"Skye! You-" I snap out of her trance, but my words come out too late. She'd already sunk her head under.

Her head shifts slightly, the corner of her eye finding my own two. My mouth opens ajar, seeing her hair floating on the surface, then disappearing.

Marjorie tries to swim towards where Skye had gone, but she quickly floats back.

"I can't see where she went, it's too dark underwater," she flips her hair out of the way. "She couldn't have gone that far, right?"

Miguel hiccups, "Have you been hit by her? She's strong. I think her strength can really push her far to swim, right?"

"Yes, Miguel," Lance stands up straight. "But someone can only swim so far."

I rush in, forcing myself past all of them to try and find her.

I didn't think Skye would go this far.

"Look!" Quinn points suddenly, to a hand sticking up from the surface - its pinkie and thumb extending outward.

I squint, and a wave of relief calms my senses, it's Skye's arm. "It's her."

"Thank God, what the fuck," Julianna sounds relieved, too.

Skye's hand closes into a fist, and she drops it underwater again. After a few seconds, she emerges, hair wet, yet still shimmering in the sunlight; her body sparkles as well, bringing my thoughts elsewhere.

She tilts her head once she catches sight of us, her nose scrunched and confused.

"You guys look worried," Skye chuckles. "Good thing, I gave you guys a hand signal."

Marjorie holds out her hand, and Skye stares at it as she passes her by. "I'm really okay, Marjorie."

"I know," She shivers. "I'm asking for help, I think something's crawling under me."

"Oh!" Skye swiftly snatches Marjorie's hand, escorting her to shallower water.

Her ocean eyes find me, and I can't help but stare back at her - though, my eyes study her up and down.

"Eyes up, Macatangay," her voice startles me.

Embarrassed, I scratch the back of my head. "Sorry," My face heats up.

Skye walks to me, tying her hair up with the hair-tie she had on her wrist.

I lean in close to her face then whisper into her ear, "You did it."

"I did," her voice is low and soft, and she subtly kisses my cheek. "You're crazy to think I'd actually do that again, though."

"What? Kiss my cheek or get back under?" I stick out my tongue.

She rolls her eyes, "You must be out of your mind if I'd do both again."

I raise my eyebrow, grabbing hold of her arm before she can walk away. "Hey, don't do that."

John gags, "Ugh, do that shit somewhere else."

"We're not asking you to watch, John," I shake my head. "Anyway, Skye. If I had to choose one or the other, I'd want a big smooch right here," I point to my cheek.

"Jesus," Quinn laughs, throwing her hands up, "Let's use the pool now! There's definitely something crawling below us! It's tickling me!"

Marjorie, Julianna, and Christie dart past us, back onto the shore.

"I ain't fucking dealing with that, nope," Marjorie shudders. "God, that's giving me the jitters."

"C'mon, you scared of a little fish or something?" Skye kneels into the water, her head barely just above the surface. She rummages around, splashing water around her in every direction. "Whatever this is, it's running like a little bitch right now."

All of us watch intently as Skye struggles to keep her balance sitting. "I think... There!"

Lance and I hover over her and notice a peculiar animal caught between her fingers.

Skye hoists her hand up. Between her fingers is an angry crawfish, pincers opened and waving about furiously, ready to defend itself.

"That's dinner," I quip, considering the tiny creature is too small for us to eat.

Tagu scoffs, "Dibs. I've always wanted to try crawfish. Is there anymore under you, Goth Queen?"

Skye hands me the crawfish, and I keep it as far away from my face as possible. "Jyanna, get me one of our pales."

She walks off without a word as Nick gestures me to hand it to him, "Damn, I remember I had these as pets. I'd go collecting 'em by the river."

"I remember, it was your show and tell item to show us back in first grade," I snort. "Can't believe little seven-year-old Nick - with your tiny hands - would go and find crawfish. Them bitches were big."

Nick shrugs, chuckling, "It is what it is."

"Andre," Julianna tosses me the pale.

I nod at her thankfully before dipping it into the water and plopping the crawfish inside it.

"Find anymore, Skye-With-An-E?"

She doesn't answer, still digging around her general area. "It'd be easier with goggles," she emerges, shaking off the water dripping from her hair. "We'll find some later this evening. The day is still pretty young."

Julianna nods, pursing her lips, "Still don't know how you have the guts to just reach in there, Skye."

Skye shrugs. "It's just a critter," she replies dryly.

"Critter or not, I ain't touching anything gross," Marjorie beams, waving at us to come. "Let's go, before the pool fills up. From this distance, I only see a few people."

Quinn wrings out her hair, the same smile she had on her face still shining, "Yay! A pool all to ourselves?"

I smirk, "M.J. said there were a few people there, Pippi Longstocking."

Quinn's eyes droop sadly, but she shakes her head and grabs Thu Thu's hand. "It's okay! Rather have a few people than lots! NOW C'MON!"

"Quinn- AHHH!" Thu Thu's feet start stumbling in the sand as Quinn pulls her, dragging both Thu Thu and her unwavering optimism.

John sighs, pushing his hair up, "She hasn't changed."

Miguel giggles, Christie slipping an arm between his.

"As she said," he starts. "People don't change-"

"Their habits do," I glance at Miguel before snickering to myself. "We better catch up."

Skye walks past us. My shirt tucked between her stomach and her arm, "Y'all are talking about catching up after standing around and having a conversation? Nah, YOU catch up."

"Got 'em," John stars trudging forward. "Y'all got the passes, right?"

"Yeah, pretty sure," I take his side as we step onto the pavement. "Did M.J. tell you about her new game?"

He nods, pushing his glasses up, "Yup. Wanna carry me?"

I chuckle, shaking my head, glancing up at the shaking branches of the oak trees around us. "No," I tell him. "I ain't playing a game like that, as much as I'd want to."

"Alright, since you decided that, use my phone to record us," he suggests, handing me his phone - sealed tight in a waterproof case.

The admission windows were right past the washrooms, which are conveniently right in front of the shore of the lake, for us, at least. It depended on where you were on the beach itself, we happened to be right in front of it.

The shade of the roof all brought a sigh of relief out of all of us. The forecast the entire week is said to be sunny and hot - about 26-30 celsius. What a relief from all the rain and storm that plowed through Saskatchewan all of last week. I feel like the heat will be bearable until tomorrow, and after that, all I'll hear are complaints from my friends. At least we wouldn't have to worry about mud or puddles, and we'd have an excuse to buy overpriced ice cream at the convenience store.

Skye peeks her head behind the corner at the far end of the corridor, just past the washroom entrances.

"Slowpokes," she quips. "I already showed the worker there my pass, she just needs to put those stamps on us."

The last few times I'd been here with my family, my cousins and I never wanted to use the pool. Instead, we'd huddle around a tree with ample shade and talk about God-knows-what. The last time I went swimming here was when I was still in elementary school. It just surprises me they use those awful 'waterproof' stamps. They'd wash off after thirty minutes of being inside the pool.

Granted, there is an area within the fence where people who didn't choose to swim could just hang out and bathe in the sun. It provided wooden beach chairs and sets of tables with umbrellas. And of course, there was a waterslide - a shitty one. Don't think we'll be using for the fun of it, but instead, for the sake of irony.

I'm the last to be stamped, and I flash a smile to the worker there before thanking them.

"You ready to get your ass handed to you?" Skye speaks unusually enthusiastic.

I laugh, "I ain't playing."

She frowns for a brief moment before tossing my shirt onto a table Quinn or Thu Thu probably claimed.

"Would you play if we were on the same team?" Skye pops her lips and sways her body.

"Nope," I say bluntly. "BUT, kick John's ass for me. I keep getting images of him falling in the lake, I need to see something close to that again."

She snickers, holding out her fist. I bump it with mine and scoff.

"Go get him, _tiger,_ " I tease her with the nickname she gave me.

Rolling her eyes, her fist collides into my shoulder. "Okay, _cheeseball."_

I giggle, taking her side and jumping into the pool together. I can't open my eyes in the water, it's something I can't get myself to do. But I do, just to see Skye - and she stares back at me, that smile on her face.

We surface, my toe barely just scraping the bottom of the pool. Tagu tosses Miguel a pool noodle, which he hands to me, and I swiftly give it to Skye.

"I ain't playing," Miguel sits upon the ledge of the pool.

"What? Why?" Tagu raises a brow.

"Don't feel like it anymore," he shrugs.

I pick at my lips with my teeth, "Good! I'm sitting out too."

Quinn pokes me in the nose with her pink pool noodle, floating over to me; her vibrant hair sprawled out and flowing with her. "C'mon, you two! It won't be fun when two of our friends sit out."

"I'll have to agree with her," Skye subtly admits.

Miguel sighs, rubbing his eyes, "Still don't feel like it."

"Well, as much as I'd love to play, there'd be 11 of us if Miggle sits out," I imply, poking Skye's forehead. "It'd be uneven."

Quinn swims away, jabbing me in the face with the noodle again. "You may be right, but it wouldn't be fun if you sat out. Let's go, Skye."

"It's alright," I wave the noodle away, giggling. "Miguel and I will be the referee. Just make teams, and we'll do a tourney for the game. Just line yourselves up, and I'll rearrange you guys into teams."

Everyone lines up by the shallow side against the pool wall. I rub my chin, contemplating on how to divide them.

"Shoot for teams," John jokes as he looks at me. "I'm joking, but we can just play rock paper scissors. First five people to win, get to pick."

"Alright, you guys sort it out then," I heave myself out of the pool and sit on the ledge, my feet swaying naturally in the water.

Earlier today, Julianna informed us that we couldn't use the water guns in the pool, so we reached a compromise to have a water-fight tomorrow. However, the day is still young, and we have all the time in the world. I don't even know what we're all going to do after we swim.

Quinn pumps her fist, "Christie, let's be teammates!"

The Brit nervously chuckles, "May I go on top of your shoulders? You're a teeny-bit taller than I am."

"Of course! Let's kick some ass!"

Skye and I glance at each other at the same time and bite our lips to hold in a laugh. Not being biased or anything, but I know Skye is going to win this entire thing. The girl is strong as fuck.

"I'm with John," Lance points at him. "You do the fighting. I'll keep you balanced."

"Sounds good," John replies, determination sparking in his eyes.

Marjorie and Skye glare at the two boys.

"Jolo, remember that spider you threw at me before school ended?" Marjorie grits her teeth.

He scoffs, "You mad?"

"Yeah, still mad," she admits. "But, since Skye is 100x stronger than me, I'll let her do the honours."

John laughs, "Sorry, Skye, I think I'm going to have to mop the floor with you."

"Don't say that, please," Miguel grumbles, shaking his head.

Skye snorts, grabbing the black pool noodle. "It's gonna be the other way around," she says dryly.

I don't think this is going to stay a game anymore.

"You and me, Nicholas," Thu Thu raises a hand, prompting Nick to firmly slap it.

"Alright, you do the poking then," Nick tosses her a pool noodle.

Thu Thu reluctantly agrees, nodding her head slowly.

"Don't worry, Thu Thu," I reassure her. "The easiest way to win this game is to not fall."

"So helpful," Thu Thu splashes water at me.

Julianna and Tagu lock arms and smile fondly at each other. "Everyone, take a corner!" Tagu calls, dragging Julianna away from everyone.

I have a good chuckle and watch everyone get into little corners in the pool. Not much planning should go into this; just hit your opponent off, and you move on to the next round.

"Alright!" I shout, catching their attention. "I'm on this scrambling website on my phone, it'll decide the matchups for the first round!"

I elbow Miguel's rib gently, handing him my phone.

He clears his throat, "Since there are only five teams, three teams will need a free pass. Once I press this button, there are no take-backs."

"Three teams?" Julianna tilts her head.

"Well- yes," I show her the 5-team bracket. "There's only going to be one first-round matchup. If you look on the other side of the bracket, it's only a semi-final matchup. So one team has to joust in three rounds- if they make it that far."

"Marjorie and I can take the first round," Skye announces suddenly. "If that's okay with Marjorie."

M.J. nods, "Yeah, it's alright. More action for us."

"It's settled then," Miguel stares at everyone intently, tapping the phone quickly and holding it up to his face.

"The team with the first-round by is..." he pauses. Our friends lean in eagerly, hope in their eyes flashing as the sun shines down on us. "Nick and Thu Thu get the by."

They throw their hands up into the air, cheering loudly. The groans chorus as the two winners sit up with us.

"Thu Thu! Press the button. We need to know who's lucky enough to face-off in the opposite side of the bracket," Miguel offers her. She smiles, happily tapping the button and holding it up.

Thu Thu presses the button, and her eyes dilate, "Lance and John vs. Quinn and Christie in the semis," Thu Thu passes Miguel the phone back which he hastily hands to me.

"...And Julianna and Tagu vs. Skye and M.J in the only first-round matchup," I confirm, smiling at the four girls.

John points at the girls facing in the first round, "Ladies first."

"Hey! We're girls, too!" Quinn waves her hand between Christie and herself as she pokes John in his armpit then his neck. He jumps, twitching unnaturally and slapping the noodle away. Quinn giggles. "Someone's ticklish."

"Stop!" He suppresses his amusement and flicks water at her. Quinn submits and backs down, beaming and rubbing her eyes.

Skye seems to realize something, an idea clicking around in her head, causing her to look so deep in thought. She's taking this very seriously.

Marjorie bobs her head at Skye as she kneels down in the water. Skye props her legs over Marjorie's shoulders, and carefully, she stands up, effortlessly carrying Skye.

As unsafe as this seems, the pool is a decent size. I don't think anyone will fall onto any of the ledges. Then again, the lake would be perfect for this game, no worries of hitting your head on the edges of the pool. Knowing my friends, someone's going to get hurt - either their bodies or their feelings.

Tagu climbs onto Julianna's shoulders, as the two teams glare at each other.

"3... 2... 1..."

Silence, just the splashing of the water, the leaves rustling, and the wind gently touching my skin and drowning out most noises. The separated sounds of cheers echoing down the slide and the faint voices from people around and outside the fence drown out quickly to Miguel's scream.

"GO!"

Marjorie trudges forward as Skye stabilizes her body, balancing herself by swaying with Marjorie. Tagu almost falls off naturally, but quickly balances her weight and throws the first jab at Skye's hip.

Skye smacks Tagu's head, catching her off-guard. Cleverly, she uses the other end of the pool noodle to hit her neck, then she jabs forward, hitting just below Tagu's Rib.

On the ledges, all you can hear is cheering; oohs and ahhs. Laughter coming from mostly John and I. The girls in the pool are amused too, all smiles, as if the tension between both teams had ceased.

Tagu chuckles, nearly catching Skye off guard with a perfect thrust right under her chin, if it weren't for Marjorie stepping back one step. Though it almost causes Skye tip over, they remain in sync with each other as they were during the match.

Julianna plods ahead as Tagu tries to maintain her balance.

"Tell me when you start to walk! I can't balance myself!" Tagu orders, her noodle out in a defense position.

Julianna doesn't say a word, only nodding, trying to keep herself from succumbing to the pressure of a human's weight on her shoulders.

Skye sees something, another light switch going off in her head. Without another thought, she swings the noodle against Tagu's hip.

Miguel scoffs, crossing his arms, "That's smart of Skye."

I lean closer to Miguel, "Did you see what she saw?"

"She saw an opening," he starts, Christie on his opposite side leaning into him as well. He kisses her cheek before speaking. "Tagu can't keep her balance, it's taking her too long to stabilize her weight atop Julianna's. Skye is light, yes, but in terms of weight, they're more or less the same. Tagu is taller than she is, so I can understand why it's difficult for her to hold herself up."

"Yes, but that doesn't answer Andre's question, Dear," Christie says softly.

"I was just about to get to that," Miguel clears his throat. "While Tagu tries to uphold her body, she's vulnerable, even with her pool noodle in a defensive position. If Tagu attempts to block Skye's hits, she'll be even more imbalanced. She's trying to knock her over when she's otherwise occupied."

"I see," I reply, smirking. Skye always pushed herself to do one thing farther than all of us, even if it's over some friendly and straightforward game. She gains confidence this way.

Tagu wobbles freely on Julianna's shoulders, and she seems to be struggling to keep her friend up any longer. Tagu makes a mistake, deciding to swing at Skye instead of focusing on her balance.

Skye uses this again, poking and jabbing while Tagu is exposed, freeing up every opening for Skye to freely hit.

"There!" Skye screams, and with one final thrust, Tagu falls backward, prompting Julianna to drop her before she went down with her.

I jolt up and flail my arms. "Skye and Marjorie win!" I scream, pointing my arm in their direction.

Miguel claps, amused, "Skye and Marjorie move on to the semi-finals!"

The two girls proudly sit atop the ledge, Marjorie and Skye, sitting next to me on each side.

"Good job, you two," I smile fondly at them. I glance over at Julianna and Tagu, grinning as they take seats beside Lance and Quinn. "Good job to you two as well."

Tagu rolls her eyes playfully, "Skye got the better of me. I can't keep my balance for shit."

Julianna laughs, "You couldn't at all! I almost dropped you more than once."

"Fun game, anyway," Tagu smiles, gesturing at Quinn. "You two are up. The boys are already in the water."

John wobbles himself around jokingly, laughing at Lance, who looks pressed.

"This is harder than you think," he says, panting. "I'll acclimate; just stop squirming, or else I'll drop you."

Christie effortlessly snakes her way on top of Quinn's shoulders. Miguel gives her a pool noodle, and she shyly holds it up, blocking her face.

"NO MERCY, CHRISTIE!" Quinn huffs, chanting. "NO MERCY!"

John smirks, glancing down at Lance, "I don't wanna hit a girl no more."

Christie's eyes flare for a moment before she clears her throat, "It's quite alright. Don't hold back just because I'm a girl."

"If you say so," Lance replies. "Andre, countdown."

I stand up, pushing my hair back, "3... 2... GO!"

Quinn screams, marching forward. Christie starts swinging the noodle back and forth recklessly, but it's working. Lance is forced to step back to protect John's face. Christie is turning with no finesse or plan, but it's working - it's blocking John's line of sight from both sides.

"FUCKING, ANDRE!" John curses at me, still with a smile on his face.

I guess the boys weren't expecting me to bamboozle them, but skipping the count of one is something you'll have to anticipate from time to time.

John readily thrusts his noodle forward, stopping the spinning and swinging of Christie's. She widens her eyes, caught off guard.

He mimics Skye's maneuver, using the opposite end of the noodle to strike Christie's blind spot.

"Bloody- AHH!" Christie blocks a massive swing from John, but it still manages to knock the noodle away from her hands. "Quinn!"

Quinn struggles to pick up the noodle, as her hands were strapped around Christie's thighs. John ruthlessly swings as Lance marches forward. Quinn has to walk backwards to avoid his swings while trying to gather their fallen weapon.

Luckily, she swipes it and quickly hands it to Christie, who blocks jab pointed at her hip.

"Ooh, shit, got your ass," John mocks, smirking. Christie stares at him, confused, and she lowers her guard again.

John jabs forward into her forehead and uses the noodle's back end to swing at her hip again. He switches stances, seeing one of her legs about to slip though it seems as if Quinn nor Christie notices either; too caught up in the moment to see their surroundings.

He strikes the side of Christie's knee, causing the leg to slip off entirely. The shock on the girls' faces is soaked away by the sound of splashing water, Quinn having to let go of Christie's opposite leg to prevent injury.

Lance pumps his fist as John lets himself fall down into the water, cheering loudly.

"GG!" He simply says, sitting back on the edge of the pool. He finds my eyes. "I'm surprised no lifeguards have kicked us out."

I shrug, shifting my attention at Quinn and Christie recovering in the water. "They've probably seen too much stupid shit go around here that this doesn't surprise them," I reply, looking back at him.

Miguel helps Christie back up onto the ledge, fondly patting her back. "You did your best."

"I'm not sad about losing. It's too happy to be sad right now," Christie beams, resting her head on Miguel's shoulder. "Does that mean the two boys are in the finals?"

Miguel nods, "Yes, which means our second semi-final has to happen right now," he grumbles, motioning his head at Skye, Marjorie, Nick and Thu Thu. "That means get your asses in the water!"

They stare, almost confusedly for a moment, until Nick drags Marjorie into the water with him as he hops in.

Her scream is immediately cut off by the spatter of the pool, the blast radius of the water barely grasping below our knees.

Marjorie glares at Nick once she surfaces. The boy still giggles, sucking in his lips to hold in the rest of his laugh.

"Hey, Skye," Marjorie says calmly.

"Yes?"

"Knock this bitch out," her voice cracks sharply.

Skye huffs, her black pool noodle in hand, "Will do, Ma'am."

Thu Thu jumps into the pool, tapping Nick's arm and tentatively eyeing Marjorie and Skye on the opposite end. "Get on top of my shoulders."

Nick gulps, exchanging glances at the two girls across from them. He takes a breath and climbs on Thu Thu's back; she doesn't appear to struggle to keep him up and walking.

"3.. 2.. 1.. GO!" Miguel shouts, clapping his hands.

Marjorie doesn't hesitate, marching forward effortlessly as Skye gets a nasty hit onto Nick's jaw. He takes the blow horribly, wavering his balance. Thu Thu stops him from falling, swaying her body the other way to balance out Nick's weight. For a soft pool noodle, that shit looks like it hurt.

He recovers not so well, Skye swinging at his other jaw. He didn't expect it, and almost falls again. The redhead smirks, hitting his stomach with the noodle. Rest in peace, Nicholas, you provoked Marjorie, which provoked her teammate - her very scary teammate.

The quickest match ends, and Skye barely smiles; she wants blood, and everyone can see it. Of course, all of us are laughing our asses off because Nick lost so early into this fight that I would hardly call it a fight, this was practice. Even Thu Thu is laughing, helping Nick up to the surface. The paleness on his face matches the white clouds above us, only that the clouds still had dignity being so high up in the sky. Nick looks like he lost all of his.

Out of all the laughter around me, I finally hear Skye's laugh - in fact, she's the only one I can hear right now. Her dark-blue eyes glisten in my direction, and I can't look away. Those eyes caught my heart from the moment I saw her, and I always question whether my eyes did the same to her heart.

Her skin glows as a cloud uncovers the sun. I can never understand how God could make someone this beautiful and put them through so much; it's one of the only things I question God about.

"Since all of us are out, let's place some bets," Tagu rubs her hands together.

"Didn't know you picked up gambling in the last three years," I quip, my jaw quivering from a sudden breeze. "But, I'm down."

John jumps into the pool with his noodle, splashing water onto my knees. "$5, take it or leave it."

"I bet M.J. and I win," Skye confidently points her noodle at John. "Loser buys lunch for all of us."

John raises his eyebrows, eyes wide with both shock and amusement. "Lance and I aren't made of money," He says this to her as if Skye is bluffing.

She shrugs apathetically, "Okay, your losses then."

John's expression shifts into confusion, trying to decide whether Skye is being serious or just trash talking.

I know from her face that she's serious; she's only toying him trying to get him fired up.

The two teams ready themselves, and with a shift in the water around them, they march towards each other.

John starts to swing his noodle, but Skye anticipates this, blocking it precisely. In unison, the two clash the opposite ends of their noodles, mimicking their backhand twirls from earlier.

Marjorie pulls away, Skye in a defensive stance as Lance moves forward. John jabs forward into a vulnerable spot, but Skye barely sways her hips away from the punch. She counters, striking above John's head, a loud thump emanating from the blow.

"That looked like it hurt," Thu Thu mutters through her closed fist. "Skye's stronger than she looks."

Julianna stretches, leaning back on the support of her arms, "You didn't know that? She's stronger than all of us."

Thu Thu shrugs, "It's still surprising to see."

John and Skye pant, and mainly have sweat dripping from their heads. The hot sun blasting its rays down on them is taking its toll. They're evenly matched somehow, so now it's a fight between who can last longer in this heat before they need to yield.

Skye takes a deep breath, exhaling through her mouth. She thrusts the noodle into John's rib, and he flinches. He tries to counter-attack, but she blocks and backhands his left hip causing him to flinch again. Skye knows now that John had been using his strength to knock people down. She'd been using her wit to determine what was best to force someone to fall into the water. Skye is strong, but light. John can easily knock her over with a hard enough blow into her stomach.

She knows he's getting tired, but John isn't going to give in so easily to the heat. It's only a matter of time before she gets too tired to even keep herself up.

The two exchange jabs back and forth, and still, none of them look like they're letting up. Marjorie nearly fumbles Skye after a small but tough jab connects with her shoulder, but she, fortunately, stabilizes herself.

Marjorie's shoulders are beginning to shake; it seems she can't last that much longer either. Lance, on the other hand, doesn't look like he's letting up.

Skye pants, eyes squinted to adjust to the sun. She's acclimated to this heat, but has Marjorie done the same? She has to win now, or else she'll have to fall for her partner.

A small flicker in her eyes prompts her to straighten her back and immediately swing up into John's armpit. She smirks, knowing that John is ticklish. She picked the info up from earlier, that must have been why she stared at blank space like she had an epiphany.

He flinches again, and Skye doesn't waste any time to repeatedly strike up. John musters up the strength to block it, but she expects it, pulling back and shoving into his stomach, spinning the noodle as it connects.

John yelps, and in one last desperate attempt, Lance trudges forward, hoping John would strike Skye into her exposed stomach.

But it's too late, Skye smacks him amidst his laughter - both in the head and his chest. She strikes at his jaw and pulling back her noodle far, she drives it forward. Down goes Jolo.

Skye and Marjorie win first place. The lot of us cheer on the ledge, Miguel laughing his ass off at John, floating embarrassed on the water's surface. Skye sighs in relief, and in celebration, lets herself fall down into the refreshing coldness of the pool.

She surfaces, pushing her hair behind her and staring up at me. Her lingering gaze draws me into the pool, and I hit the water.

Fingers wrap around my chest, and I'm pulled out of the water. I wipe my face, flicking the water out of my eyes. I see Skye quickly retreat her hands away, her face flushed bright red. Though, I don't know if she's flustered and embarrassed or just suffering from the heat.

"You don't have to be scared of touching me, Skye," I wink, nudging her elbow.

She splashes water in my face, glaring at me. "Pfft, I could've let you sink to the bottom instead, but I decided otherwise."

"Hmm," I suck on my bottom lip briefly, shooting a small grin in her direction. "Why didn't you? And you could've tugged on my hands instead of rudely touching my chest."

Skye stutters, flustered again. She begins to splash water more frantically at me, and I laugh, shielding my face.

"I WAS CURIOUS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN!"

"Curious of what? Feeling me up?"

"NO! IF I PULLED YOU UP."

"Mhm, your nose is growing Pinocchio," I swim under the splashes of water and emerge inches away from her face. I gently poke her forehead, then lean in to kiss it gently.

She freezes in place, just gazing up at me, her eyes twinkling. "Andre, I-"

"Shh, no more excuses," I grab hold of her hand underwater. "The others are going off into the deep end, we don't want to get left behind."

I lead her away, brushing my thumb against her hand. Skye squeezes it softly, making my heart skip beats.


	37. You're My Best Friend

_Camping: Day 2_   
_12:07 p.m._   
_July 23, 2019_

John's POV

"You got the jig baits, Nick?" I put a bag over my shoulders and tightly grip on the tacklebox in my hand.

He nods, "Here, let me put it in your box. I'm gonna use the leeches I brought."

Nick takes the box out of my hand and kneels on the ground to open it. Andre didn't want to come with us, so if I screw up one of his rods, I'm in deep shit.

I've only been fishing once or twice, and I wasn't even fishing; my dad and uncles were mostly doing that when I was a kid. After my catch yesterday, Tagu was going off on me about being reckless, so I'll actually have to think about my well-being and safety. She's making sure of it by coming with us.

"Ready to go?" Nick glances at me, adjusting his bucket hat. "Hopefully, the dock isn't so full. Usually, people go at this hour."

"Is it universal to go at this time or something?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "No," he starts walking onto the dirt road. "It's just the way it is at Pikelake. Before, no one knew there was a dock for fishing to begin with since it's so far away from the park. Slowly more people found out about it, and past noon is prime hour. For this place, at least."

"You think we should go later tonight instead?"

"Nah, Andre and Miguel want to do that tomorrow," he informs me, slowing his pace to be in step with me. "Tagu coming or what?"

"In a bit," I say. "She's trying to find snacks and helping Marjorie prepare the marinade for dinner. Miguel and Christie are helping too."

He nods, "I see."

Tagu and I nearly kissed at the lake, but we both turned away last second. I was frustrated, and I'm sure she is too. I hope she doesn't think I backed down on her; it wasn't like that. The sheer anxiety and fear clouded what I truly wanted - my first kiss.

I don't really like talking about it with the others; they've all had first kisses except for Skye. But when you're in the 10th grade, you don't think about that stuff, and up until she met Andre, she'd never felt any connection like that. 

I was fortunate to have decent friends and have met many girls my age that were interested. All I did back then was flirt over text; I was a fucking horndog. But other than that, I didn't do anything past hitting up girls on whatever social media app I took advantage of.

So when Tagu and I leaned in, I didn't know what to do. I've never kissed anyone before, not even a peck. I'm dreading the entire day because of how embarrassing it felt for her and me. I really hope she doesn't make anything of it and justifies it, she's not a judgemental person. However, she still has her opinions about things.

"Guys, wait up!" I recognize it to be Tagu's voice. A distant voice is hard to hear, but somehow I always hear her voice.

She pants as she catches up with us, slipping a comforting hand into my own. Maybe she didn't think anything of it earlier after all.

I gently tighten the hold I have on her, and she does the same.

"I hope you guys like hot Cheetos and whats left of Thu Thu's almonds," he holds up the now near-empty bag of what used to be a mountain of almonds.

"What the fuck?" Nick scoffs and reaches for the bottom of the bag. "Did she eat all of these by herself?"

Tagu snorts, "Obviously not! She shared a few."

"A few?" I hear the surprise in my voice. "Holy shit, man. I thought these would last more than four days."

"She was snacking on them during the campfire last night," Tagu shrugs, tucking the food against her hip. "Guess she got carried away."

Tagu's POV

I'm starting to feel self-conscious about holding John's hands too long. I never notice, but my hands sweat so much. Right now, it's all I can think about. Somehow, I see it more now than I did before, and it's causing this nasty itch in my head.

I tell myself he won't mind, but John isn't one to be overly-honest about things. He keeps to himself and will only ever give you a smile unless you piss him off. Then he'd make it known either from sudden dryness in his speech or straight up silent treatment.

A little ways away from the dock, we stopped talking. The beauty of nature around us didn't need our sounds. The only thing ruining this walk are these fucking bugs. I had put bug spray on before leaving, but these little fuckers insist that I still taste good.

We book it out of the shrubbery, slapping our arms and legs and faces as we step onto the dock.

"Be careful," I gently hit John's shoulder. "Or else you're sleeping outside the tent tonight."

John rubs his shoulder, putting his bag and tackle box on the benches attached to the dock. "Yes, Ma'am."

Nick was already casting out into the water, while John is still getting ready. He's a bit slow, but I don't blame him, he's a beginner. Nick has been fishing for years.

The thing with John is he's stubborn when it comes to getting help, he's willing to take on an entire world on his shoulders and tell everyone he's fine and can do it alone.

"Nick," John calls, finally casting out a line. He maybe chucked it ten feet away from the dock, which isn't that far, but it got the job done last time. "You using the jigs?"

"Nah, a spinner," Nick corrects him, taking a seat on the edge of the dock. "I wanna fillet some pike later if possible. The seasonings we have taste good, good."

I sit down beside John's bag and tackle box and watch the two boys endlessly cast out their lines. John's patience is beginning to dwindle, his feet shuffling restlessly.

Luckily, the branches of a tree shield me from the sun under this bench, but the two boys have to bask in the heat if they want a catch. They'd put on sunscreen and bug spray before coming here, so all they have to do is bare the heat and stay patient.

Nick stops reeling for a moment and shakes his head, "Damn thing just pecked at it."

John ignores him, focusing on himself and wiping sweat off his forehead. "Tagu," he calls, not even turning around. "Can you get my headband, pretty please?"

"Only cause you said please," I joke, unzipping his bag and pulling it out. I hand it to him, and he puts his rod in between his feet, tightly tying the headband on his forehead.

He picks up his rod and continues to cast.

I pull out my phone but quickly pocket it again. There isn't any service near the fishing docks, only by the central park and campsites.

I kept repeating that process of slipping my phone out of my sweats for about 30 minutes. I guess I lost my track of time.

"FISH ON, BOYS!" Nick, whoops and holds his rod up despite the monster dragging his line and violently bending his rod down. "SHIT! ON THE SPINNER, TOO!"

John sighs and gets up, clearly annoyed. He reaches for the net next to Nick's stuff and kneels next to him, extending the hook.

"Fuck, this guy's strong," Nick pants, reeling and stopping repeatedly. "This fish is not gonna give in, you need to net him good."

Nick struggles to even hold the rod up anymore, but he keeps pulling gently and reeling. He twists the drag tighter bit by bit; he can feel the fish coming forward towards the dock.

"Pike?" John asks to his dismay.

"Feels like it," Nick huffs. "It's right there."

That one sentence intrigued me enough to get up and stand a few inches behind them—a massive, long fish leaps out of the water, probably ten feet away.

The three of us gasp, Nick's face etched with concern all around, even in a slight crevice in his cheekbone tightens.

"I've caught strong fish before, but this takes the cake," Nick backs up slowly, bumping into me. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," I tell him. "Just catch dinner, please."

Nick gulps and taps John's hip with his foot, "Get ready to net the thing."

John tenses his grip on the net, moving it forward ever so slowly. Nick's rod looks like it's about to snap, but he gives the signal, yelling at John to scoop the fish out the water.

He sucks on his bottom lip lifting the heavy fish up out of the lake, but he hoists it up. Nick reaches in and holds it up for me to see.

Nick struggles to keep it up, the thing is fucking huge. It's enough to feed almost two families.

"It weighs a fuck ton," Nick laughs high fiving John and myself. "This bastard was a fighter."

"Now he's dinner," I chuckle quietly, setting myself down on the bench.

John hands Nick a rope, and he loops it around the Pike's gills. He splashes it in the water, and the bugger tries to swim off again, but Nick has a firm grip on it and ties it around the metal suspension, keeping the bench up.

"That's kinda mean," I note, looking over at Nick. "Why not kill it?"

"It'll taint the meat," He says, snickering. "I'm kidding. In a way, it does taint the meat because chemicals get released inside its body. I'll bleed it once it's out of the water again."

I don't answer him then notice John rummaging in his tackle box. "What you doing?"

John holds up a fish with two treble hooks on the bottom. "Changing lures," he replies. "It's a jig bait, right? Nick?"

Nick only nods, focusing on himself again.

"TAGU GET THE NET!" John suddenly screams out, a slight bend in his rod is the first thing I notice when my head jolts.

I kind of panic but get my shit together when reaching over for the net and kneeling beside John's legs. I've seen them net fish before, I watched yesterday when Andre caught that walleye, but if this is a big fish, I'm scared I won't be able to react in time.

"My first fish! Yes!" John celebrates until we all hear the sound of the drag cease. A horrified stare into the water is etched on his face. "It broke off," he mutters sadly.

Nick pats his back and rubs it soothingly as I stand back up.

"It's okay, John," Nick reassures him. "It was a good effort. First cast on the jig. It'll come back."

...

It's been over two hours, and at that time, Nick is at limit; catching and releasing fish. He replaced some of his catches to compensate for some smaller walleyes he wanted to keep, being outclassed by a bigger one. However, that monster pike is still among the catches, still stuck on its leash.

John, on the other hand, has lost three catches. He's clearly frustrated, and he's letting hastiness get the better of him.

"I have dinner for the next two days," Nick smiles proudly, holding up his four fish. "I think I'm gonna head back to camp, clean these guys up."

John ignores him, only nodding as he casts out his line into the water.

"See you, guys," Nick saunters off, waving good-bye.

"Bye, Nick. See you soon," I reply, glancing back at John. "You wanna go, too?"

John grunts, shaking his head, "No! I need to focus. I need to catch at least ONE fish."

"It's been two hours-"

"Andre's waited eight hours during some trips he's been on," John cuts me off. "I need to preserver. I can't stay impatient."

I laugh briefly before standing to the left of him. John quickly gazes at me but looks away as he catches me staring at him.

"I said I needed to focus," He says softly. "Your pretty face isn't helping me focus."

I scoff at his remark, slapping the back of his head. "Then, I should be motivating you! Do you want me to leave?"

"No! No, don't leave," He pleads, casting out his line to a different spot. He hits his head repeatedly, chanting out, "C'mon, I can do this."

I feel bad for him. He's going to be here longer than he wants, and there's still a whole day ahead of us. I snake an arm around his and tug him close.

"You got this," I stutter, leaning my head on his. "Next few casts, you'll get one. And we'll eat it for dinner today along with another fish."

John smiles fondly at me and seems to lose track of where he is. He stares at me longer, and I can't break the gaze either. I blink twice just to see if he'd look away between them, but he doesn't. I scan his face up and down and unknowingly lean in.

I hesitate for a moment before succumbing to what I truly wanted. John stiffens but relaxes as he realizes what just happened.

The kiss is tender; his lips are soft and warm. His breath hits my lips as we move our lips together, a shiver flying down my spine. I hear a clunk on the dock, then feel John's arms wrapping around my waist, deepening the kiss at the same time.

Goddamn, I just kissed my best friend, whom I had a crush on since the 6th or 7th grade. It's relieving that I'm in this moment, knowing it's what I've always wanted. I was always scared of this before- the possibility of being with someone, being this close to them.

I realize now that my thoughts were all irrational. If I knew something as simple as a kiss would make me feel this happy, I should've risked it all from the start.

Knowing now, that I've always wanted John, even through the countless boys who infatuated me, he had this hold on my heart that I could not shake off, even if I wanted too.

John had been scared to be this close to someone, too, but from the way he's kissing me back, I can tell he's wanted this just as much as I have.

He's kissing me more fiercely than I anticipated, goosebumps making the hairs on my arms stand up. His hands caress my hair and travel down to the creak of my neck. I cup his face tightly, pulling him closer. I bite his lower lip, pulling it, then slamming my lips down on him again. He shudders at my touch.

John's hands ruffle my hair again, causing a gasp to slip out of me.

It's one of these moments where the world seems to fall below you, but you remain floating, suspended in the air until you float among the stars. Knowing John is here with me makes me feel like he's among those stars with me, it makes me feel like we're one of those stars.

A sudden crash in the dock tips us over, almost falling into the murky cold water below. The platform sways violently. We find each other's eyes and link arms, helping each other up. We stabilize our bodies together. The swaying thankfully begins to subside, though we still try to catch our breaths.

John, however, stares past my face with wide eyes and mouth gaping open in shock. I don't know if it was the shock of the wave hitting the dock or our first kiss.

"Uh," He stutters, picking his rod back up. "I can't tell if I feel more focused or less."

"Hm, that look on your face ain't from the wave, is it?" I chuckle, amused at how flustered he is.

John blushes fiercely, crimson seeping out from his light brown face. "I– uh–"

He's completely speechless, which is unusual to see from someone like John, who's quite overconfident and cocky.

I swiftly brush my lip against his, pulling away instantly. Heat floods my face until I see a peculiar twitching at the tip of John's fishing rod.

"Jolo," I stumble my words, pointing at his rod. "What bait are you using."

"I'm on live bait now, why?" He notices it too, widening his eyes. "OH SHIT, SOMETHING'S BITING!"

John sets the hook hard, making sure this fish isn't going to get away. He reels as fast as he can, the drag almost getting the better of him. The fish emerges, being pulled along the surface of the water. I'm surprised the fight didn't last as long, but so long as John is satisfied, I am.

"Walleye," John gasps, reaching for his line once he has the fish lifted up out of water. He holds the fish up triumphantly, a smile creeping from his lips. "No net needed this time, I guess."

"Sorry," I shrug awkwardly. He kisses my cheek and leans his body against mine. "This fish marks the beginning of something new."

"May I ask what it is?" I smirk, crossing my arms.

He reluctantly leans in again, smacking my lips before pulling away. "It marks the beginning of us."

Thu Thu's POV

"Thu Thu," Andre scratches the surface of my tent, jolting me awake from my nap. "Can we talk about something? Or is this a bad time?"

I unzip the window and smile, "Of course. Inside or out?"

"Preferable inside," Andre sighs nervously. "Before Skye and Marjorie get back from buying more firewood."

I open the entrance for him, tossing his shoes before entering. He sits across from me, hugging his legs tightly. My tent is a shady one, the sun barely seeping in through the fabric.

"It's surprisingly dark in here, "Andre remarks, trying to delay what he needed to talk to me about.

"You can just be upfront with me," I say. "You'll waste your chance."

"Yeah, yeah, no need to remind me of that," He sighs again, nodding his head back into the wall. "I'm starting to question something."

I whip a pillow at him, startling him, "Upfront!" I yell. "Upfront!"

"Jeez, okay," Andre tosses me back the pillow. "I'm questioning my feelings for Skye."

I gasp loudly, hitting him with another pillow. In what world has Andre ever questioned HIS feelings for someone? Even the past few crushes he had that didn't end in relationships, he didn't question nor regret anything. He just took the hard road and kept trying.

"OW! Thu Thu!" He snarls but lets out a small chuckle.

"You better not!" I warn Andre sharply, wagging my finger. "She's the best possible person for you if you want another chance at something more."

Maybe I'm too harsh on him. I mean, rejection does something to you; it makes you cautious the next time around. In a way, it makes you smarter. But running away isn't smart if that's why he's thinking of doing.

"I understand that," he takes a sad glance at his feet, hugging the pillow. "Listen, I've dealt with rejection before, but if Skye were to do that to me, I don't think it'll sit well inside my head."

"I know I'm not supposed to talk about it but-"

"We're way past my breakup," he corrects me. "It hurts, the breakup still affects me. But dwelling on it for long periods isn't going to help anyone, especially me. So I'm doing my best to move on and accepting what happened."

I gulp hesitating. "So, you've moved on?"

He shakes his head, "I haven't moved on. From Indigo, I have, but from the moment, no. I'm only accepting small things. It's safe for everyone to talk about now."

"I see," I wet my lips and scratch the back of my neck. "But why? Why are you questioning your crush on Skye now?"

The hesitation on Andre's lips echoes inside the tent, and he closes his eyes as if he was holding back tears.

"Skye's openly told me that she has no feelings for me," his voice shakes. "Look, I know my history with previous crushes. But if this one goes bad, it's going to hurt way more than the others."

"Why? You've only known Skye for a little while," I imply. "And if we count Indigo as a crush, she's had a hold on your heart for three fucking years. What's the deal?"

I'm thinking Andre is infatuated by Skye, by the thought of being with her. I feel as though he believes that Skye is the answer to his pain, the one who will cure him of everything that's ever hurt him. In a way, she might be. She's been through so much more, but even then, she's admitted to understanding Andre so much that she's cried for him, something she's never done for anyone before. She's depended on him before, and he has, too. They're essentially each other's best friend.

"There's something about her, I don't know," he admits, whispering. "I think I'm crazy."

He laughs hysterically, in disbelief of what he said. "God, it sounds cliche as hell, but there's something about Skye that I haven't noticed in other girls-"

"You ever think of getting with a guy?" I joke, smirking.

"Oh, shush," Andre scoffs, a small smile creeping on the corner of his lips. "Anyway, it's like this, yeah? No offense to those other girls, but Skye has something about her. There's this feeling of serenity and peace, and somehow, when I'm around her, my mind stops rocking. It stops... thinking."

I'm confused at this point, and I tilt my head, gesturing him to continue on his tangent.

Andre gulps again, louder this time, and buries his head into the pillow. "...Instead, it's just all her. My mind is clouded with the thought of her and the thoughts of protecting her. Like somehow, someone as fucked as me would be able to protect someone as strong as Skye."

"Is that why you're questioning yourself? Because you feel weaker compared to her?"

"I didn't say that," He interrupts me, raising his voice. "I don't feel weaker in a sense, just inadequate. I feel like I'm not good enough for her and that she deserves someone better. I'm afraid she'll realize that. And I feel like she already has."

I don't say a word. I know the truth about Skye's feelings for Andre, all she wants is him but can't find it in herself to accept that. Skye is afraid, too.

"Andre," I call. I mentally prepare myself from the berating and disappoint from Skye once she finds out that I tell him she does have feelings for him. He has to know.

I'm starting to feel the crushes they have for each other take a toll on their mental state, more than what they already went through.

"There's something you should know. Skye- she-"

"I know she has feelings for me," he blurts, calmly.

My mouth slowly gapes open, my eyes about to pop out of their sockets.

"Then why the fuck did you tell me Skye's openly told you she doesn't like-"

"SHE DID," He raises his voice again, sprawling his legs out from his chest. "And I want to believe her."

"Why?" I scream. I'm pretty sure the people in neighbouring campgrounds can hear us now.

"Because Thu Thu! I'm scared I'm somehow wrong, that we're wrong," He's on the verge of tears, throwing his hands up in frustration. "I don't wanna believe that she likes me back, because every time I give myself hope, it comes back to bite me. And it taunts me, and I won't be able to accept it. I can't do that to myself."

"Andre, Skye isn't like that," I try to reassure him. "She wouldn't lie."

"I know she wouldn't, she isn't like that," He swallows back his tears, his hands shivering at his sides. "I'm not scared of her lying. I get lied to all the time."

I fall silent.

"If she likes me, she'd tell me herself," he says. "If she doesn't, I'll make sure I'm a helluva friend for her."

I crawl to him, reluctantly wrapping my arms around his shoulders, pulling him close. He trembles at my touch, but his arms snake around my waist tightly.

His warm tears trickle onto my neck, prompting me to massage the back of his head.

"Andre, you really like her, do you?"

He nods, still quivering. "Yes," he mumbles. "I don't wanna ruin anything. What Skye and I have right now is already something worthwhile. I'm thankful."

Andre loves her. It's apparent that he does; he's already willing to go through everything with her and carry on her baggage alone. But that's not the reason why he loves her.

He won't admit he does, I mean, why would he? They only met weeks ago. However, Andre knows it, he knows that he loves Skye. As a friend and as something more.

A rustle in the leaves startles us, pushing each other apart. Footsteps in the dirt approach the campground, and Andre taps my knee.

He points to his eyes. "Are they red?" he whispers, almost too quietly for me to hear him.

I shake my head, "No. You're lucky. They would've been bloodshot right now."

"Mhm, thanks," he grins, rubbing his eyes furiously. A cough sparks out of him, and he flattens his shirt.

"Are you expecting someone?" I ask.

Andre nods, "Quinn is coming to get me. We wanna do some more catching up."

My gut somersaults, knowing that Skye doesn't like seeing these two together. She can't say anything to them, that's what pains me the most. She can't bottle up her feelings.

Sure, she is spilling them on Marjorie and me. However, we aren't the ones causing her problems. I won't hesitate to help her and talk to her. What she needs to do is tell Andre. She isn't so good at being upfront with her emotions, but it'll soothe her jealousy, and I damn know that Andre will reassure her, make her feel better, and whatnot.

It frustrates me knowing that Skye's clarity is in him. Jealousy is something that clouds our rationality, and only when we're reassured do those thoughts cease to exist.

I'm not saying you need somebody, you can definitely discipline yourself to drown out envy until nothing is left.

Skye, on the other hand, hasn't felt these emotions before. She's lost and can't get herself to understand what they mean or how to make it go away.

It's all a learning process, and I know she'll be over it. The concern here is how and when she'll be over it.

Bottling your thoughts, suck ass. It ruins your mental and ability to focus on the now in your life. You miss out on so much more when you hideaway, and it does immense damage to your head. One day, it gets so bad that they explode into a teary, wet mess. And the moments after don't get any better.

"Hey, you here, Bub?" Quinn's cheerful voice calls out from the outside.

"Mhm! I'll come out," Andre's voice cracks. He unzips the tent, slipping on his shoes messily onto his feet. "Say hi to Thu Thu!"

Quinn tucks a strand behind her hair, her face clearly flushing red at the sight of me.

"Hey, there, good-looking," She clears her throat, waving her fingers at me.

I bite my lip, caught off guard. "Hey."

A lingering silence drops on us, more awkward than calming.

"...Okay then," Andre breaks the quietness, beginning to walk off. "See you, Peppermint! Thanks for the talk."

"Don't mention it," I shout back. "Bye, Quinn."

She winks at me, swiftly following Andre, the shuffling of their feet on the dirt road, echoing farther and farther.


	38. Yesterday

_Camping: Day 2_   
_4:17 p.m._   
_July. 23, 2019_

Quinn's POV

Andre and I loop around the pool down a hill, close to the boat rentals and the beach. Lance and Julianna are on a paddle boat just past the barrier for how far you can swim. They wave at us happily, as the paddle further and further away to a bed of cattails on the outskirts of the lake across the water.

"I don't feel like going boating," Andre says, kicking a rock in front of him as we walked.

"Why not?"

The splashing of water and the sounds of people's conversations whiz pass us as we take a crossroad away from the beach.

"Well," he bites his lip. "I don't really feel like doing it anymore. I'd rather spend these last three days like this."

I smirk, striding up closer to him, "With me?"

"Pfft," Andre laughs, shaking me off gently. "Don't make it weird. I meant just exploring and walking. Nick wanted to take us to a nature trail tomorrow."

"The one leading to the sand dunes?" I ask, curious.

He nods, "Yup. Mostly everyone here's seen them except Skye. I'd like her to see it."

"That's surprising. I thought mostly everyone in Saskatchewan has seen the dunes."

Andre shakes his head and tucking his hands away in his back pocket, "It's complicated what she's gone through. It's not my place to say."

We both stop in front of the convenience store. Exchanging looks, Andre tugs on my hand for us to keep walking.

"You don't want anything?" I follow after him, glancing at the barred up windows looking into the store's kitchen.

"Not really," he replies, finding my eyes. "M.J. wants to buy concession food tomorrow for lunch."

"Why not have that for lunch every day?" I question, giggling.

"Quinn," he chuckles. "Shallow and deep-fried food for a week? I already feel greasy being here. Somehow people forgot to pack veggies and fruits."

I scoff, "You're boring."

"I'm healthy," Andre gently tickles my hips, wrapping his arms around me.

I bite my lip, stifling my shrieks, "Andre! Off!"

"You used to love this before, no!" He forces a laugh out of me.

"We- We might fall, Andre!" I laugh even harder until the sudden hardness of the ground makes me grunt.

I'm winded, but I shrug it off and raise my head to see him on top of me, his head dangling off my torso.

Andre rolls off me, his arms sprawled out. "Luckily, we hit grass," he pants, still snickering. "You okay? I didn't mean to let us fall."

"Don't be sorry," I sit up, dusting my white flannel. "The feeling of falling is fun. It's like a rollercoaster."

"Is your flannel stained?" He ignores me.

I nod, standing up and tying it up above my midriff. I smile widely, helping him up.

"It's a bit dirty, but it's nothing a washing machine can't fix," I circle an arm around Andre's, dragging him along. "This is an old look for me."

Andre's eyes scan me up and down, his eyes staring longer than I would've anticipated. He shakes his head, a playful look plastered on his face. "I can't believe this old flannel fits you."

His arms wiggle away from my grip, and he gestures to a brown, wooden box, left on the grass next to the pavement underneath the swaying branches of the trees.

At a closer inspection, part of the framing is chipping away, many initials, symbols and names carved at its center, above a flap. There's a small bench in front of it, perpendicular to the box and on tilt.

The greenest leaf falls onto the top of the box, and I instinctively snatch it. I gaze at it for a moment, closing one eye and holding it up until the sun's rays collide with it. Some of the light squeezes through the translucent core of the leaf.

"It's a piano," Andre lifts the flap, revealing yellow-stained white keys. He presses a key. "Wow, it's tuned."

He beams, straightening the seat parallel to the piano and sitting.

"You still play?" I lean on the piano from behind, overlooking him adjusting his glasses.

Andre fondly rubs the keys. I notice the darkness under his eyes, there's a heaviness there.

"Did you get enough sleep last night?" I knew he had cried before leaving Thu Thu's tent, but I didn't bother asking him about it. Apart of me would eventually, but he seemed so happy once he started walking with me like I'd already made him feel better.

"No, not really," Andre admits, playing chords progressively up the piano. "Snuck out to look at the stars."

"Were you alone?"

He doesn't answer, only pretending to admire the piano. "I still remember your favourite song," Andre says, changing the subject.

My heart leaps into my throat, beating unusually fast. My face is glowing, I can tell from the sudden warmth flooding my cheeks.

"You still-"

Andre cuts off my sentence with a familiar tune, his eyes blinking up at me. His eyebrows elevate, a shy smile touching his lips.

The song he referred to was 'Yesterday' by the Beatles. Every note he hits sends me back to the days of the eighth grade. Andre learned this song just for me, because I sang it for him so often, every night before we would end a video call.

Most of the time, we fell asleep during the call, and I'd fall asleep singing to him. The memories always bring a warmness to my heart. Such familiarity can trigger the most beautiful thoughts. I contemplate in my head if he ever missed those nights where I sang, and he slept.

Those nights where he would sing, and I would sleep. This song brought us together. The love I would feel during this song, it's all coming back to me. I stare at Andre, noticing that his lingering stare is the same one he'd give me all those years ago.

He fights off a grin, trying to concentrate on finishing this song.

I vividly remember the sadness this piano piece brought on us. He'd only played it three times for me before I had to leave. I left my friends, my family, instead, without a word of explanation, just a hard goodbye and nothing else.

And we were strangers again, that's all I wanted to be after the diagnosis. But every time my mom or dad or the radio or anything would play this song, I would see this blinding light, and I'd find myself back in Saskatoon, with my family, laughing, and smiling. Then I'd see Andre Macatangay at a random piano. He'd show off to everyone that he learned such a difficult piece. Everyone got over it, except for me.

I always told him, 'I'll never be bored of you playing this song. It's our song.'

That's why I was so surprised he still played, I'm still in utter shock that he remembers. It reassures me knowing he carried a piece of me with him throughout his life after I left.

"Don't look at me like that, Quinn," he startles me, turning his head behind him. "It's just muscle memory, that's all."

My cheeks swell as I step beside him again. His head cocked slightly to the side, points to the playground.

"There's a park bench, let's sit down there before taking a walk back to camp," He suggests, the whiteness of his teeth blinding me.

Andre steps forward ahead of me, letting me lag behind.

"Slow down, would ya?" I try to hide the shortness of my breath with laughs and giggles and a smile his way.

"Tired already?" He mocks. "You know, this is why I eat fruits and veggies, right?"

I roll my eyes, chasing after him now with a raised fist. "I'll catch you! I eat what I want!"

Andre slides down the bench after trudging through sand, letting me slide right next to him.

I punch his shoulder hard, but he acts as if I had tickled him. He lets his head drape over the bench, stretching and resting his arms on it.

"When do you want to head back?" Andre leans forward, removing his glasses.

I shrug, finally catching my breath. "When the sun turns orange," I slightly raise my voice in an attempt to drown out the voice of kids inside the playground.

"Alright," he pockets his glasses, closing his eyes.

His hair brushes against my neck as the weight of his head drops onto my shoulder. I tilt my head and see Andre's eyes flickering in and out of sleep. I reach over to stroke his cheek, giving him permission to fall asleep on me.

I wonder how long he had stayed up, just watching the stars like he claimed. If he was going to do that, why didn't he find me?

I then remember I was blackout drunk and would've probably caused a ruckus, too much noise when stargazing ruins the mood.

Knowing Andre, he wouldn't want to do something so intimate and breathtaking just by himself. He likes his isolation sometimes, but the stars on a dark night with no light pollution, he would want to share that moment with someone.

I think hard and realize who he was with. Some jealousy seasons my rational thoughts, but I push them into the back of my mind. That time has passed now, we broke up long ago.

Just as long as she makes him happy, I'll be okay. Andre had told me about Indigo, and it left me furious that someone could treat such a sweet boy like that. Someone like Andre deserved better, it makes me guilty I left in the first place.

I realize now that the fear of telling my friends caused this much pain to seep into Andre, and it started off with me. There was some solace with his ex, but he admitted that the relationship was riddled with arguments, with fights. That left him even more in pieces, and the breakup shattered him completely.

I just hope Skye treats him the way he deserves to be treated.

Thu Thu's POV

Skye snarls and hands me her phone. "Ugh," she blurts disgusted. "Look at the posts M.J. keeps sending me."

Amused, I scroll through the Instagram conversation, seeing all the posts and threads about couples.

"'What guys/girls secretly want,'" I repeat out loud to her. "Want me to read them out?"

"I saw the post, Thu Thu," Skye growls, concealing the red flush she has over her face. "God, and she sent it to Andre! Like, she has no boundaries does she?"

"She'll do anything in the name of love," I laugh, clearing my throat. "Did you read it at least?"

She doesn't answer, only groaning in her palms. "Please don't."

"Skye, it's rude to ignore posts people send you," I quip, nudging her.

"I don't know the meaning of that word," She jokes back, sitting down on a bench overlooking the beach.

I sit next to her, my eye barely catching Lance and Julianna on a paddle boat near the orange balcony, just past the beach.

"They paddled pretty far," I note, scrolling through the pictures of the post.

Skye schooches next to me, a strange curiosity shimmering within her eyes. "You're not gonna read it to me?" She whispers.

"I thought you didn't want me to read it," I tilt my head, teasingly raising my eyebrows at her.

She stutters, slouching and crossing her arms. "I'm just wondering what guys and girls secretly want, that's all."

"Uh-huh," I sarcastically agree with her.

Skye stammers her words, stomping her foot down softly, "Can you just please read it before I change my mind?"

I roll my eyes. "I will, I'm just teasin' you."

"Whatever," she mumbles, shaking her head in disappointment. "I hope you remember I don't like being teased."

I apologize, clearing my throat. "I just wanted to lighten up the situation," I say.

Skye nods anxiously, signalling at her phone, crossing her arms. Her bent knee starts jittering, and her eyes scan around wildly, waiting.

I exhale, finishing the last point on the thread. I look up at Skye, snickering at her red-flushed face.

"You said these were what guys and girls would want," I point out, raising a brow.

Skye splutters, fumbling her words before retreating to the sun, away from the tipi's shade. "I... I just assumed girls would want some of these things, too."

My mouth hangs open, and I laugh, causing her to jitter off, screaming. I chase after her, startling her with an arm around her shoulder.

"Awe, you can admit you want some of those things," I tease again, pulling her closer. "Does that mean you want him to love you?"

She giggles briefly, pushing me off and sighing. "Oh, Thu Thu," Skye shakes her head. "I'm never letting you read another one of these again."

"Even if it's from my phone?" I ask, sliding up closer to her.

"No!" Skye chortles, concealing her phone inside her skirt's pocket.

I eye her up and down, nudging her.

"What's up?" Skye jolts her head up at me.

I always wondered how Skye could put up with such unbearable heat with the clothes she's wearing. I'm glad she let loose and had a swimsuit on for a portion of the afternoon, but now she's back in her regular clothes. Don't get me wrong, she's absolutely gorgeous, but I'm concerned for her health more than anything.

"Aren't you hot?" I point to her outfit. "It's a pretty outfit for an even prettier lady, but it's really hot. It's like, 30 degrees out here."

Skye ignores me as we pass the playground, or should I say an old man's playground, which faces the chain fence of the pool from the front and the parking lot from behind. It only had two swing sets right next to each other, and a teeter-toter a couple feet away from it.

We stop walking underneath the long branches of a tree, giving us much-needed shade. Skye looks relieved, letting herself fall down in the grass, her limbs stretching out.

"I wanna hide my cuts," Skye admits almost casually, though there was some hesitancy in her voice. "It was hard enough to wear so little clothing earlier but I had to let myself have fun for you guys."

"I think you needed it more than us," I lay down next to her, somehow still panting from the heat.

Skye glances at me, contemplating my words before closing her eyes.

Despite having on a white tank-top and shorts, I still could not stand out there in the heat. Even the subtle breeze we would feel occasionally was this humid, warm gust hitting our skins. I felt terrible for Lance and Julianna, as they were out there in the middle of the lake boating, no shade to rely upon.

On the other hand, Nick, John and Tagu were lucky enough; the sun was in a position where the trees at the fishing dock were shading them. Even then, I know they felt warm, probably in the slightest.

M.J, Miguel, and Christie are busy preparing dinner for later, marinading more pork barbeque and letting frozen burger patties and hot-dogs thaw.

Skye sits up, hugging her legs tightly against her chest. She dips her chin down, avoiding my eyes.

"You know, I never told all of you but I was afraid of going into the water," Skye laments. The way she's been opening up to me was baby steps at most, but I can tell now that she needs to talk to someone about something.

She's talking about something completely different than what she truly wants to talk about. In a way, she's testing the water, just a tiny dip of her toe to see if she could trust me more than she has before. We've had a long talk about jealousy, but Marjorie was there. I only happened to be there, but if I wasn't, it wouldn't have mattered for M.J's sake. If I was alone with her, maybe she wouldn't have revealed so much.

"I had this irrational fear of water. Like, somehow if I went in I wouldn't come out the same person."

I tilt my head, "So, you're afraid of drowning?"

"No, not at all," she replies, hugging her legs. "I can swim, but my fear, it's hard to put words in some places where I wanna explain it. I guess when I saw you all having fun, I just needed to put myself in your guys' shoes for a bit and let loose."

I smile fondly at her, scooching closer to snuggle up next to her. She stiffens at my slight touch, and I start to think of ways to make her feel more comfortable.

An idea clicks in my head; I know Skye has a fond affiliation with discovering creepy, yet intriguing structures or places. She all told us this when Nick gave the idea of hiking. She surprisingly spoke up, agreeing quickly to the possibility because, in her eyes, it's an opportunity to find someplace people would miss because of their lack of attention to detail.

"You know, abandoned places are great to try and find," she said once in a Skype call. "People avoid all types of weird, creepy places because of how ugly or scary it looks. The way I see it, there's a history to everything, and it's reassuring to know something you're looking at was once beautiful."

That's the last thing she said in that call before Marjorie had to leave. This was when she had to stay over, but it all got us thinking about exploring deeper than we should on Pikelake's Nature Trail. The lot of us have walked the trail, but we never really noticed anything around us because all we did was trudge forward in hopes we see the sand dunes. However, most of us also never paid any attention to us. In some way, Skye taught us that sometimes the journey can be as meaningful as the destination in the few words she spoke.

"Skye," I call out to her. She jolts her head up at me, a blank expression on her face. "Before we enter that nature trail here, there's an abandoned museum at the entrance. It's full of taxidermied animals, fish and bugs."

Her eyes light up, and I notice her body relax after an exhale. "Really?" She sounds brighter than before. "Why was it abandoned?"

"Well, that's the mystery that we have to solve," I stand up, offering her a hand. "Let's go?"

Skye takes my hand without a second thought, and her smile blinds me as it passes my view. I lead in front of her, but she's more eager now, cutting ahead of me during some parts of the walk.

We cut through the gravel parking lot just past a few cars when we see in the distance, edges of a rotting, black roof. Skye trots ahead of me entirely, landing onto one of the only concrete roads here, glancing behind her frequently to check if I had left her.

I rub my hands against my shorts, and looking up, Skye is mesmerized by the building. It's more of a shack, but nonetheless, I've never seen her more intrigued. She reaches out, rubbing the rotting wooden planks that have gone black by now.

It's as if the museum is speaking to her as she touches it, flooding her memories with its own memories and history.

"Is it locked?" Skye answers her own question, trying to pry open the door. "Guess it is."

Both of us read the sign above it, 'Pikelake Animal Museum.'

Skye presses her head against the window, looking inside intently. I pull her off.

"Skye, the window is dirty," I warn her, pointing to the cobwebs and chipped wood.

She shrugs. "I don't care. I wanna see inside," She insists, peering inside again. "There's not enough light. This shack is covered by shade."

"Is it blocked off?"

"Sort of, but I can see the shapes of some of the things in here," Skye replies, pushing off. "I guess there's a curtain inside there, too."

Her head motions toward the nature trail, her eyes lighting up again.

"The dunes are there, yes?" Skye asks, staring down the path.

"Mhm," I tug at her fingers. "Let's go around over there to the bigger playground."

I point to the structures behind the cars and begin to walk. She follows behind me now, less interested this time.

Before our feet even leave the ground, Skye halts me with an exaggerated cough. I turn around, seeing Skye, kneeling on both knees ruffling a dog's fur. A German shepherd, I think.

The dog licks her, compelling Skye to snort out a giggle. "Easy there! Easy!"

"Did you see where it came from?" I look around wildly to see if any owner is in my line of sight.

Skye continues to pet the dog. I must admit, I've never seen her so excited. Marjorie has a dog, and maybe Skye took a liking to have one around. But I've never seen her eyes so in love with something. Well, she has those eyes for someone, but don't tell her I said that.

"Delta!" A voice echoes faintly from the nature trail and the cracking of some dead leaves and branches.

A man emerges from the path, concern etched on his face. But relief washes over him as he sees Skye kneeling down next to his pup.

"Thank you so much!" He approaches Delta, gently grabbing the dog's collar. "If you didn't stop to pet Delta, he would've ran off."

Skye smiles politely for a change, she'd usually look down at random in moments like this. "She actually stopped in front of me. Her nose dug into my hand and she moved it onto her head."

The man laughs, attaching a leash on Delta's collar, "Yeah, he does that all the time to people he likes. Likes the attention. Anyway, thank you!"

The man leads Delta back down the trail path, the dog glancing behind to look at Skye before they turned a corner into the woods.

"Nice work," I pat her head, dragging her along the gravel path.

Skye shrugs, pursing her lips. "Hey, the dog stopped me. I didn't do anything," she says blankly.

"Well, it's a good thing you started petting him, or else that man would've had to do more looking. And it's a good thing dogs seem to love you."

We land on grass again, and she makes an effort to walk beside me, keeping up as I pick up the pace, desperate to get to the shade next to the playground. Thankfully, there's a bench under the shade, but it looks like there are already two people sitting there.

Skye sighs, clicking her tongue. "I thought I'd never ask this but, can we get ice cream?"

"I want ice cream," a light, childish voice startles us.

We turn around, and I gasp at the sight of the cutest kid I've ever seen. Big eyes and all, shyly swaying behind us.

Skye stops, just staring at the kid, not knowing what to say.

I kneel, making eye-contact with the little girl. "Where are your parents?"

He points past us, to the playground. "Over there."

"Oh," I nod, exaggerating. "Well, me and Skye here we'll let you pass by so you can get back to your parents. It's dangerous if you wander off too far."

The kid doesn't say anything, smiling cutely at us, especially at Skye, and galloping past us. He stops, however, and turns around to run up to Skye.

She stiffens up as the kid stares up at her with his big, innocent eyes.

"I like your lipstick, it's cool."

Skye glares at the kid, though I'm sure she doesn't mean too. She tries smiling, but her mouth remains a solid line.

"Uh.. thanks, kid," She mutters.

"Can I borrow some? I wanna look pretty, just like you!"

Skye's cheeks colour and she bends down involuntarily, still at a distance from the little girl. I almost intervene until Skye finally says something, after staring at the ground with a gaped mouth for more than a few seconds.

"I was cursed," She raises her voice fiercely. "Come to think of it, this isn't actually lipstick. So... if you keep talking to me, I might put a curse on you and you'll have black lips forever."

The girl starts running ahead of us, screaming playfully, presumably to her parents.

Skye jitters, shaking her head. "Unpredictable little humans scare me the most."

I laugh loudly, binding an arm around her shoulders. "I think you scared her. And I'm pretty sure you mean, 'a child.'"

"Whatever they're called," she says. "Kids are weird and smelly. Well, sometimes they are. God, it's hard enough being noticed by someone our ages but kids don't go away when they approach you one time. I bet he'll come back again to bother me."

"Oh, it won't be that bad. Kids don't really understand anything we understand. I usually try being nice to kids, they all look a little lost even when they're with their parents or guardians."

Skye chuckles, walking closer to the playground, "Lost as in stupid, or lost as in they don't know where they are?"

"Both, actually," I scoff, gesturing at the bench. "I think we know those two."

Skye glances at the bench, squinting. Her face falls, and I concernedly jolt my head to who was there and to Skye, this felt like a nightmare.

Andre and Quinn are sitting there, his head nuzzled against her neck. From this distance, I can't tell if he's sleeping or not.

Skye's head droops, her heart broke once she saw the sight, but I also know she won't admit that, not in a million years.

The faint sound of squealing alerts me, but it doesn't seem to warn Skye. She's too fixated on Andre and Quinn, but the sound got closer. Closer to the point where Skye's head tilted, like a puppy hearing a squeaky toy for the first time. Her eyebrows scrunch, and her eyes widen when she realizes what she's hearing.

Seeing about four or five kids charging out from under the playground in Skye's direction, I gasp.

"Oh, shit," Skye blurts out and starts to run away in my direction. I dodge her, forcing her to run away towards another direction.

I point to Andre, "Go to them!"

"ANDRE'S SLEEPING! AND I DON'T WANNA BOTHER THEIR MOMENT," Skye huffs. I can somehow hear the pain in her voice even though she's panting. "IF YOU KIDS COME ANY CLOSER I'LL CURSE ALL OF YOU!"

The kids laugh, trying to surround her, but Skye quickly beelines to Andre and Quinn, despite her best attempts to run someplace else.

"I'LL HEX EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU IF YOU DON'T GO AWAY!"

I don't think they know what hex is, but part of me wants to think Skye is having fun. I jog up to get a closer look at the Tom and Jerry chase that's happening.

"Andre!" Skye shouts, but only gets Quinn's reaction, who's head only perks up away from her phone. "ANDRE!"

This time, Andre hears her, his eyes drooping as he opens them. He lifts his head off Quinn's shoulder, and his eyes widen, seeing Skye run at him with a bunch of munchkins chasing behind her. Andre stands up promptly, holding his arms out in front of him.

She runs straight at him, followed by the crowd of children. "Andre! You gotta help me!"

"Skyyyyyeee! You said you would curse me!" The little girl from earlier gleefully chants.

"No! No, me! Curse me!" Another boy shouts.

Andre disappointedly sighs, twirling around. "Skye, you can't go around threatening to curse kids."

"I can!" Skye angrily answers back. "I can if they won't stop following me everywhere!"

"Yes!" One of them giddily jumps.

Andre exhales sharply, tilting his head as he finds the children's eyes. "Kids," he mumbles. "I don't think Skye actually knows how to curse someone. She can maybe curse _at_ someone, but I'd hate to be at the receiving end of that."

"Nuh-uh!" The little girl sticks out her tongue. "She said she would put a heck on us!"

"That much I heard," Quinn takes my side as I continue to watch this moment unfold. "Hey, pretty lady."

I bite my lip, nudging her hip. "Hey."

"I think Skye's a witch with superpowers!" A little boy cries.

Skye groans, still in safety behind Andre. "Ugh, I was trying to scare them off," Skye frowns. "Not _impress_ them."

Skye plops down on the bench behind her as Quinn and I approach them. She leans her head back, relaxing, despite the bombardment of kids around the bench.

"Why do kids like me? Why?" Skye questions, rubbing her forehead.

I smirk, placing hands on my hips. "Also animals," I point out.

Skye shakes her head and glares at me, "That isn't helping."

"Well, animals can sense the good in people," Andre sits down beside her, stretching an arm around her shoulders. "So can kids. And Skye, you are the goodest person I know."

"That's mot even a word," Skye scoffs. "And I wouldn't actually describe myself as good."

"You right. You ain't good, Skye-with-an-e," Andre ruffles her hair. "You're great."

"Skye-with-an-e!" A kid chants.

_"Skye-with-an-e!"_

_"Skye-with-an-e!"_

_"Skye-with-an-e!"_

_"Skye-with-an-e!"_

Skye glares daggers at him, rolling her eyes and turning away.

Andre's eyes flicker, and he stands up, quickly hoisting Skye back to her feet. He puts a hand on Skye's shoulders.

"Hey kids," He lowers his voice. "Me and the witch are gonna start kissing each other."

The redness on Skye's cheeks deepen, her eyebrows elevating. "We are?" She sounds as shocked as she looks.

Quinn and I glance at each other, just as surprised as Skye is.

Andre tugs her forward and puts both hands on her face. I almost start to believe he's going too, and Skye looks as if he's going to let him.

But he only pretends to kiss her, making exaggerated smooching noises.

"Ewwww!" The little girl's chin falls to the floor.

"Gross!"

The kids dash away in either direction, shrieking, and Andre releases Skye, who looks dazed.

"I thought you were gonna kiss me for real," Skye's eyes shyly fall to the floor.

Andre pokes her forehead, sitting back down. "I'd rather kiss you when we're alone, to be honest."

Quinn laughs, poking her head up as every little kid runs back to their parents or behind a playground structure.

"You know, Skye," Quinn calls, and Skye confusedly stares around before realizing she'd been called. "I think having both kids and animals gravitate towards you is a metaphor for how good of a person you actually are."

Skye looks away, shaking her head again before inhaling piercingly. "Pfft."

"And you better thank your boyfriend for scaring them away," Quinn's words cut deep, even in me. I thought about dragging her away after seeing Andre and Skye glance silently at each other.

There's this loud silence among us now, Quinn not knowing the consequences of what she said and how bad that would affect both of them.

Skye's POV

I honestly wanted to up and leave after Quinn's words entered my ear. The audacity, after Andre had been sleeping on her, she asks that? Did she really?

I'm in disbelief, and pair this with the shock from earlier when I thought Andre would kiss me, is setting me on edge. Honestly, if Andre did, I wouldn't have been made. I'd feel relieved because right then and there, I'd come clean about my feelings. After all, he would've clearly shown that he would go that far.

"We haven't really talked about that stuff yet," Andre finally breaks the silence, awkwardly stuttering midway through his sentence.

Quinn purses her lips, "But at the very least, you two like each other?"

Air gets trapped in my throat, and I look up at Thu Thu. She notices me, so I try making it known that I can barely breathe.

My heartbeat picks up, the constant fear of Andre, asking me if I do like him bounces around in my head. It's either I admit it, or I say no again. And seeing his face the first time I told him I didn't like me, I couldn't stand it. So I know, this time around, I would tell the truth, because that face will break my heart more than anything else would.

"...I like her. I don't know how she feels about me. We're only friends," Andre replies, more confidently this time. "Don't interrogate her, Quinn. She doesn't like it. Makes her uncomfy."

Quinn backs down automatically, her posture dropping. She approaches me, and I can't get myself to look up at her.

She gently puts a hand on mine, and her touch doesn't cause a jerk reaction from me. Surprisingly, her hand causes a wave of relief over me, like she came in with a hose and washed off all my dirt. No one's touch has ever made me feel like this; protected and relieved. Aside from Andre, but I thought he only had this effect on me.

Quinn wraps around my wrist and pulls me up, and I can't help but stare at her ocean blue eyes. Her eyes are a brighter blue than mine, but it's like I'm looking in the mirror. Same pale skin, and similar red hair, only again hers is more colourful than mine.

"Wait one second, guys, okay? I need to speak to my redheaded sister!" She yells back at them, smirking, dragging me along until we're behind a tree.

Quinn's face grows increasingly concerned as she stares into my eyes. Even in the comfort of shade, her eyes glow brightly, like daylight at the end of a dark tunnel.

I thought being so close to Quinn, I'd be furious, but she has calming energy around her, despite how jumpy she is.

"Hm, you can't call each other friends and nearly kiss." She eyes me up and down, analyzing me. "Regardless, whether you like him or not, Skye, don't lead him on. He's told me what he's been through the last two months."

I open my mouth to say something, but only air comes out. I don't want to agree with her, but she's trying to protect her friend. Thinking back, I should've considered his side more instead of letting myself flirt back.

Goddamnit, telling the truth would fix all of this if it weren't for me letting stupid emotions getting in my way.

A hand suddenly grabs my shoulders from behind, startling me. Quinn's grin tells me it's probably one of the others. As I turn around, Andre grins widely at me, which calms down the frustration building.

"Quinn, she knows. It's okay," Andre radiates her a half-smile. It's fine if she doesn't like me. Just as long as we're living in the moment, everything will be fine."

I saunter off to the side silently, feeling embarrassed by the whole situation. Thu Thu awkwardly shouts goodbye as her light footsteps follow close behind me.

The frustration grows larger through every step I take away from Quinn and Andre. My heart is in my throat, choking me, and I'm half-tempted to scream to see if I'll be able to mutter something out. My heart drops down back where it belongs, and I stop in my tracks quickly and spin around, Thu Thu nearly crashing into me.

"Woah, Skye! Tell me when-"

"Why? Why did she even leave?" I ask Thu Thu, finally being able to hear my own voice. "You guys obviously love her, and Andre... He-"

Thu Thu pulls me into a hug, and I stiffen again. I push her off and regret it once I catch the look on her face.

"I'm sorry," I mumble out quickly. "But Quinn did something to me and I can't explain it, I-"

"Skye, please," Thu Thu, this time, approaches me slowly, her arms spread out. I fall into her embrace, releasing my frustration through my eyes. I soothingly stroke the back of her head. "What did she say?"

Skye sniffs, nuzzling her face into my chest.

"It's not something she said, it's something she did," I admit, my voice muffled. "She... when we were still sitting on the benches, she touched my hand. And usually, even with you guys, I got stiff. It's a fight or flight reaction by me and it takes me a while to even ease into one of your hugs. I just pushed you away after you tried to."

"I know, we've noticed," Thu Thu admits, gulping, still keeping me in her arms. "The only person we've never seen you freeze up at is-"

"Him," Skye finishes my sentence. "But, Quinn, she just touched my hand, then grab it and I didn't stiffen at all. In fact, she makes me feel what Andre feels, relieved and protected. And don't be hurt by it, I'm here in your arms right now, but it took me a while, yes? I only met Quinn a day ago! I hadn't said two words to her since she reunited with you guys!"

Thu Thu kisses the top of my head, "So what does that have to do with your question, Skye? Of why she left?"

I do my best to find the words I need to say. I know why I just can't seem to put the words in my mouth; I don't know if it's from fear or nervousness.

And then I find them. I lift my head away from Thu Thu's chest and leave her hug.

"It reminded me of how you guys yesterday," I say. "You guys haven't seen her in years, yet you guys welcomed her as if she came back from the dead. And now everything is so comfortable between all of you like you guys just saw her last week. I just don't understand how you guys feel, and somehow she made me feel something only one other person can do to me."

Thu Thu contemplates, standing there and staring at me. "Because she's our family, Skye."

"But what does that mean? Have you forgotten that my only family-"

She sharply hushes me. "Of course not!"

I back down, nodding my head to allow her to speak.

"Sometimes a family is made just from love," Thu Thu softly gazes up at me. "That's why when we saw Quinn, all we could do was accept her back, because all of us still love her."

I recall the day I went to New Island Sushi with Lance, regarding what he said about love. But since then, I still couldn't grasp the entire concept of love, only fragments have entered my mind in actions. I can't feel a thing.

"Let's go back to the tent, Skye," she offers. "I know how hard it is for you to understand all of this talk, so I'll tell you the story."

"What story?"

"Of how all of us came to be," Thu Thu saunters off ahead of me. "Of how our love as a family came to be."


	39. Eyes Blue Like The Atlantic

_Camping: Day 2_   
_6:53 p.m._   
_July 23, 2020_

Skye's POV

Thu Thu zips up the final window inside the tent and sits down across from me. Despite the orange sun's rays seeping through the tiny cracks, the tent is dark and ambient. Her eyes feel like they're looking right through my head, like she's expecting me to spill everything, too.

"You look tense," Thu Thu points out. "Don't worry. It's just a storytime today."

I'm confused. "Why are you gonna tell me your guys' entire story? I asked about how you all seem so comfortable after years apart. And Andre mentioned something about being distant in high school."

She sighs, scratching her forearm. "You need to understand our history as a group, as a family before I can answer your question. The moments we all have been through together, matter now because it's what made us stronger, a family."

I nod, lowering my guard. I'm quite excited to hear this actually, to visualize how a real family should be, blood or not. I've seen it unfold before my eyes, but I could never fully comprehend it. Maybe a storytime is what I need to put the pieces in my head together.

Thu Thu clears her throat, her unwavering stare locked at me. "So the day Quinn left us, we were all at Midtown Plaza, hanging out as a group. The only person that wasn't there was Nick because we hadn't met yet. He knew Andre and Jolo, of course, but not us Frenchies and Quinn."

"Frenchies?"

"That's us: Julianna, Tagu, Miguel, Marjorie, and I went to a French Elementary school, called St. Gerard."

I nod slowly, "I see."

"Nick, Lance, Andre, and John went to an English speaking school, maybe a ten-minute drive away from us, called Bishop Roborecki," Thu Thu adds. I knew this information already, but I never knew they called the girls and Miguel Frenchies. "Quinn went to a different school near Andre's house, so they always saw each other. She went to St. Peter."

"Oh, you guys are Religious?" I ask sarcastically. They were not at all.

Thu Thu snickers, throwing a pillow at me playfully, "Barely... It is a proven fact that Catholic schools are safer than public schools."

"I can 100% get behind that," I reply. "The high school I went to was Holy Cross. But, my family is... let's just say they're far from being catholic."

"That's rough, girl," Thu Thu frowns. "Real sorry."

"Don't stop now," I poke her with my toe. "Keep telling the story."

She tucks a strand behind her ear. "We all met through Miguel," she says. "Miguel, John, and Marjorie are all cousins. Andre knew Marjorie because his family were friends with her family. Lance was Andre's cousin. So, initially, Lance, Andre, Marjorie, and Miguel knew each other because their blood relatives knew each other."

A smile slips away from my lips. "That's so cool," I admit out loud. "So, how did you, Julianna, and Tagu meet the rest of them?"

Thu Thu beams, happy that I was interested in her story, "This all started in sixth grade. Before all of us started Skyping, it was only the guys. They played video games together, Minecraft, League of Legends, that stuff. They all still play today–"

"Mhm?"

"–And Marjorie was added to their group because she got Minecraft and every else followed suit. Best twenty-six dollars I've spent in my life. If it weren't for that game, we wouldn't be here with you today."

I laugh, pointing at the almost empty bag of almonds, "How about those? That seemed to last very little in the span of three days."

I think about that tiny detail about Minecraft over and over in my head. They didn't meet on accident like how Marjorie met me, but they met because mutual friends' circumstances allowed them to. A chain of events could have happened where one of them may not have been with us. And one of them not being there could have resulted in none of them being there.

"No comment," Thu Thu rolls her eyes and throws another pillow at me. "Anyway, eventually, we were all added and introduced them to each other. The first trick I ever pulled on them was when everyone thought Tagu and I were Filipino, so we rolled with it and pranked the guys, other than Miguel, who knew us since we were little."

I chuckled softly, imagining Andre and the others in sixth grade. Probably, squeaky voices and saying really cringy shit. It seemed about right. Some things never change.

"Tagu and I are Burmese, by the way, if you didn't know."

"I figured," I boast, smirking. "I can tell what race a person is by just the little details."

Thu Thu raises her brows, surprised. "Damn, did you have Burmese friends, or are you just smart?"

"First of all," I hold up a finger. "I had no real friends before I met everyone here, and second, I am not smart."

Thu Thu scoffs, "You're smart. Don't think otherwise."

I giggle, kicking her gently, "Just shut up and continue."

"After all of the shenanigans we went through every day, we hung out for the first time. It was at a park near Tagu's house, and everyone was very excited that day. Being kids at the time, we were loud and walked to Circle Ks and 7-Elevens to get Slurpees, y'know, kid stuff."

I shake my head, sucking in my lips, "Nope, can't relate."

"Sorry."

"It's all good. I like Storytime with Thu Thu," I nod at her. "And also can I have some of that water?"

Thu Thu snorts and tosses me a bottle of water while popping an almond into her mouth. "Okay, so, this goes on for about two years, right?" She continues. "We all go through that pre-puberty to puberty stages together like, 'MY VAGINA BLED TODAY' kind of talks, even with the guys."

I choke on some water, spitting some out onto the floor. "What'd the guys think?"

"They thought we were weird, but let's face it, everyone was weird. They talked about their random boners."

"Oh my God," I palm my face, laughing. "Even Andre?"

"He would moan and talk about it," Thu Thu adds, casually, causing another laugh to seep through my lips. "We made a movement among our friends called #AndreMoans2k14.

"MOANED?" I tilt my head, scrunching my nose. "LIKE, SEX NOISES?"

She lifts an eyebrow at me, scanning me up and down. "You told us you didn't know anything about that typa shit."

"I didn't know about love, but I ain't stupid. I knew about sex," I scoff, my face heating up.

She chuckles, "then yes, sex noises."

My stomach churns; I'm curious about how he sounds. Not like that, though, I'm wondering if he made guy noises or girl noises, but I'm too afraid to ask.

"With that out of the way," Thu Thu straightens her back. "During the start of grade 8, Julianna and Marjorie were hanging out with a lot of kids from St. Peter, one of them happened to be Quinn."

I nod silently, feeling jealousy build up slowly. But from the way she had made me feel with her touch, her words, I couldn't stay like this forever. Even I knew.

"Marjorie invited Quinn because she wanted to play Minecraft too. And yes, all of us still played Minecraft at the time."

"My gosh," I lean forward. "I had only played that for the first time at Marjorie's."

Thu Thu smirks, "We should have met you earlier then."

"I wish I would've been in better hands than those shitty people I met at Cross."

"Good riddance now, right?"

I nod, "Yes, Ma'am."

"So Quinn joins us, right? And she and Andre are instantly attached," Thu Thu says. "She learned lots from Andre, and he learned lots from her. Hell, his speech patterns come from some of her sayings too, 'Bub, ma'am,' that shit he says."

"It's rubbing off on me, too," I admit, looking down. "Damn."

"They eventually started dating during November of that year, which was a surprise to us. I mean, have you seen Quinn? She has the face of a 21-year-old, even back then. Andre looks great too, but Andre's crush on Quinn was sort of a celebrity crush kinda thing. A dorky dude has a crush on popular girl, kinda thing," She explains further. "THEN, BOOM! Quinn admits she likes him back. I'll skip over the year because nothing really happened except for birthdays. Right now, it's June. And Quinn asked us to hang out."

Both of us hear the sound of the tent opening. Startled, we back up into the air beds and grab pillows to defend ourselves with. Thu Thu and I signal each other, as a person's head squeezes through the tent, we swing our pillows down above them.

"FUCK, IT'S ME!" Andre shouts in pain, his face falling into the floor. "What the hell is in those pillowcases?"

"Pillows," Thu Thu answers, furrowing her eyebrows.

I sigh in relief, "I had bricks in mine."

Andre closes the tent and sat beside me, "Are you bloody serious?"

Thu Thu and I stare at each other, giggling at how bad at Andre's English accent was.

"What? Christie sounds cool, I wanna sound like her," Andre justifies himself. "Whatever, what were you two talking about? I heard my name coming into the campsite."

Andre's POV

"I told her our group's story, grades 6 to 8," Thu Thu says. "She wants to know why and when Quinn left us."

I take a deep breath, "Which part are you on now?"

"June 2016."

"Ah, yes," I puff my cheeks, exhaling. "I'll tell you that one."

Skye sits attentively, even shifting her body to face me, "Go on."

I poke her forehead, "Alright, Skye."

Clearing my throat, I crack my knuckles, attempting to remember how that memory played out.

"We were all at Midtown, hanging out. It was Quinn's idea," I gulp. "After the day was coming to a close, she brought us outside, to the bus stop next to the streets. It was a beautiful summer evening from what I remember. The streets were unusually quiet for Downtown Saskatoon. She told us..."

I stop, unable to continue.

"Is something wrong?" Skye asks softly, placing a hand on my knee.

I grin, "Nothing, it's just bringing back a few bad emotions I thought I buried a long time ago. Kind of like—"

"...You don't have to continue, Andre," Thu Thu suggests, I can see the sympathy on her face. "I can tell it."

"—No. I can do this," I stare into a dark corner of the tent. "I have to do it."

The girls gesture for me to continue.

"She told us she was moving. Only, she wouldn't tell us where and why."

_~ Four Years Ago ~_

_"Why?" I asked, painfully, holding back what felt like tears about to rain from my eyes._

_She didn't answer me, wiping her face to clean away the few tears falling down her cheek, "I can't tell you guys, I'm sorry."_

_"Quinn, please, this was so unexpected," I held her hand, squeezing it lovingly, hoping she would answer. "Quinn?"_

_She looked down, thought for a moment, and shook her head, "I'm sorry."_

_A few tears rained down, and I didn't know whether to feel furious that she wasn't telling me, or saddened by the fact she was leaving._

_Marjorie chimed in, "Andre, if she doesn't want to tell us, then let her go. We can say our good-byes, and we'll keep in touch."_

_Quinn began to bawl, which was unusual for her. Quinn was always full of life and energetic; it broke our hearts to see her cry like this._

_"I can't keep in touch with you all," Quinn huffed, trying to talk over her cries. "I can't."_

_"What? Why, Quinn? Please tell us why?" I begged. I begged and begged for her to tell me. However, she wouldn't budge; her stubbornness always stayed consistent with whatever we talked about._

_"I'm sorry, Andre, I just... can't," She fell into my arms, dampening my shirt as she let out all her tears. "I can't, and I'm so sorry."_

_Everybody stood silently, most of us accepting the fact she wouldn't tell us. So, being us, we respected her wishes. On the other hand, Marjorie and I were confused, more confused than everyone around us._

_I tried to ask why once again, but she only kissed me, which was the signal for me to stop asking, the indication for me that she wouldn't answer me. I nodded at her, gripping her hips tightly._

_I bit my lips, looking at her, agonizing about all that was happening. The worst part is that it was happening all too fast. If I had somehow predicted this outcome, I would have the chance to savour the day to savour her for possibly my last time._

_"Guys," Quinn called, her voice was sweet and soft, even when it shook. "I want you to block me on everything. This is really important for me that you do this and I care about you so much, please, do it."_

_"Quinn, just tell us why—"_

_"...I can't! I've said over and over I can't! Do it for me, please. No questions asked."_

_"I can't do that so easily! You know how hard it is for me?" I couldn't contain my guilt and frustrations any longer. "For us, to try and do that right now?"_

_"Andre Macatangay!" Quinn shouted, shocking all of us. "If you love me, you'll do it right now."_

_It was torture, doing as she said, and she made sure she watched me do it. I didn't want too, but I loved her so much. Everyone else followed suit._

_All the girls and guys gathered around her and hugged her. I watched as they all parted; it was agonizing seeing everyone unhappy, nearly crying. John was frustrated, but respected Quinn too much, so he decided not to ask why. In fact, it's the first time I've ever seen him subject to silence. His lips were straight, his eyes emotionless though they were watering. He didn't submit to his feelings, unlike me._

_Lance was about to do it, deciding not to for the same reason. Except, it was clear on his face how hurt he was from seeing Quinn so weak. He made note last week when he noticed Quinn had gotten extremely thin. However, I hadn't noticed as I would spend almost every day over at her house and vice versa._

_The girls argued with her, all except Marjorie, who couldn't stop crying if her life depended on it. Every word she tried to mutter out was a mess, worse than gibberish. She couldn't take it._

_Julianna, Thu Thu, and Tagu were furious, no screaming and yelling, just an aura of anger and confusion radiated through the air as the three girls pleaded with her. They reluctantly listened and did what she asked. Miguel just stood beside me, watching what was unfolding. He reassuringly rubbed my shoulder, like he always did._

_"I'm going to walk away, and you guys walk away, too, okay?" Quinn stuttered. "I love you all. Don't look back, just keep walking forward, and you guys will be over this in no time, alright? I have to go."_

_Quinn weakly smiled at us, attempting to remind us that it was still her. Wherever she went, was with a smile, no matter the circumstances. Our smiles would always be with her, too._

_I walked up to her, kissing her with such passion that it felt like ages since we last kissed; it was overwhelming, and I didn't want to stop, and neither did she. It was the most painful kiss I'd have to experience in my life. The most heartwrenching moment of that whole situation was parting from her tender lips and walking away. Those sweet lips that taste of the most delicate fruit._

_"I love you," I said, staring intensely into her blue eyes. Again, they shimmered brightly in the sunlight from the tears like the ocean masked by the evening sun. "I love you so much."_

_Two words came out of her mouth, and they rang in my ears for days, upon days, upon days. It still rings to this day and will ring for the rest of my life._

_"Good-bye."_

_Though she didn't say I love you back, I knew deep down that she did love me._

_We all walked away, and when we got far enough, I glanced over my shoulder without anyone looking at me, and as I suspected, she was still there. It was a horrible sight. She was on the pavement, crying. Her head was tucked between her knees, and she was in total pain, the most pain I've ever seen Quinn had to endure. I knew it would only worsen if I went back, so I didn't hesitate and kept walking forward just like she told me._

_~ Present Time ~_

"It was a shock seeing her again," I say, gulping. "Seeing her brought back that same memory, and it made me wonder if she'd do the same again."

The girls are silent, and so is the tent. Thu Thu had to relive that day, and she had always thought if somehow we reunited with Quinn again, she would tie up loose ends and tell us why. But she never did, and right now, Thu Thu had to cope with the same frustrations all those years ago.

A droplet of water taps onto the tent's floor, alerting all of us; I touch my face and realize I'm the one crying. A few more tears fall before I rub my eyes.

It isn't my usual cry; I'm usually livid when I do. Blood-shot eyes, sobbing loudly and pleads of help within my head. I think the person crying right now is my past self; telling that story again, reliving that day, brought me back into the past. The person who told that story was my younger self.

The closure is a fickle thing, we think we need it, but when we do have it, we want more and more. I think my closure was telling this story, and as well as telling my story about Indigo. These tears I shed today were not for me.

My phone buzzes, and we all snap our heads to my pocket. I pull it out, seeing a text from Marjorie telling me to come to the beach.

"I gotta go," I stand up, my legs quivering. "Marjorie wants to hang out."

Skye nods, standing up too and hugging me. "You did a brave thing today. Again."

I barely hug her back, my arms almost hovering over her. I don't reply to her, simply moving away, opening up the tent's entrance, and leaving. Not a single word.

Quinn's POV

I laugh at Lance's attempt to build a sandcastle. "What the hell is that?"

"It's a sandcastle!" Lance tosses the pale up into the air. "I packed the sand nicely, it resembles the shape of a castle!"

"It resembles a pile of shit," Marjorie quips. "Can I destroy it? It looks bad."

Lance sighs, rolling his eyes and standing up, "I can't stand you, haters."

Julianna laughs, staring past my head. "Oh, look there, he comes."

I turn around and see Andre, hunched over. He seems to be taking his time walking through, but he looks miserable. His eyes light up when he spots us, picking up the pace and wiping the sad look off his face.

"Are you really gonna ask him, Lance? He looks happy now," Marjorie takes a deep, unsteady breath.

Lance dusts his shorts, taking my side in front of Marjorie and Julianna. "I have too. He's conflicted about Skye, and that worries me. What if his feelings are just a coping mechanism?"

"You really think he's like that?" Marjorie argues, raising her voice defensively.

"Look, M.J." Lance glances over his shoulder. "He's never conflicted when it comes to his feelings. You know that much."

Marjorie backs down, tugging on my arm like a little kid. I turn around and frown at her worried look. I stroke her face, then her hair to reassure her. Her face brightens a little bit, but she stays behind me, staring at the sand. She doesn't want to watch.

After I told him what happened at the park and what Thu Thu told me while she was in the tent with Andre, Lance came to us. She couldn't disclose all of their conversations, she likes keeping things confidential, but in her defense, she's bothered about how he came to her in the tent.

I knew Andre and Skye weren't dating, but I asked them to see if what Thu Thu's claim was correct. She told me that he knows Skye likes him back but doesn't want to accept it. He's conflicted because he doesn't want a repeat of his past relationship to happen, one that was built from false hope and pity.

I had never known Andre to be conflicted; he always knows what he wants, and when he wants it. He's not selfish, he's far from. Andre just believes in himself in his abilities to achieve his goals, whatever they may be.

When I talked to Skye behind that tree, that warning was correct. It wasn't a test like my last question, but I could see how hurt Andre was after I had asked it. He knew what he wanted, but he didn't get it.

So when we came to Lance about it, he came up with a possibility: he isn't over Indigo like he says he is. He's conflicted because he's holding on to her.

It also confuses me, admittedly. Getting over a three-year relationship is hard; it takes months and months and months. Hell, it took me a year after I left to get over Andre, who I thought was the love of my life. We were eighth-graders, yes, but if you've ever had that sense that this is the one, you'd know. It'd click in your head without a second thought.

Even now, I still have my doubts that I am over Andre.

Sure, it's possible to move on quickly, but Andre isn't like that. He catches feelings fast, but he doesn't get over them as fast.

Out of all of us here, I think Marjorie is the only one who doesn't have anything to say. She went against us, telling us that they just have to trust him.

But Lance feels like a big brother to him; he worries over him a lot to a point where he can't leave him alone.

Andre waltzes up to us, sitting down on a wooden beam in the sand.

"What'd you need?" There's a crack in his voice, and it looks like he just finished crying. His eyes are sunken in. "You guys look tense; what did I do?"

Lance sits next to him, hesitating. "I don't wanna beat around the bush, so just get ready."

Andre gulps, his eyes moving away from his cousin. It's like he knows what he's about to say.

"How did you get over Indigo so quickly?"

Andre scoffs coldly, "This shit again? Didn't I tell you all already?"

"We-" Lance coughs. "I'm not convinced. It's three year-"

Andre groans, standing up and facing the opposite direction.

"Look, dude," Lance stands up, keeping distance between him and Andre. "We don't understand how you can be over her, and how she made you felt during the stretch."

"I didn't see it until it was too late. She pitied me by the very end, and only stayed with me because of that," Andre explains, shakily. "And who's we? I'm assuming Thu Thu told one of you."

I suck in my breath and approach him cautiously. "It was me, she texted me."

Andre nods slowly. "It's okay."

Lance clears his throat again. "Still, Andre. Before that break-up, before the cheating, that relationship was worthwhile, yes? How could you cherish and lock away those memories."

He stays silent, not moving an inch.

"And that break-up," Lance continues, causing Marjorie to start walking farther away from us. I call for her to come back, but she ignores me, her arms crossed and sauntering off. "You said you weren't over the feelings of pain, but over Indigo? How?"

"Because," Andre sighs, finally speaking so suddenly. I sit down, staring at Marjorie's figure, moving farther and farther away. "When you go through-"

"Yes! I understand about the pain, I'll never ever know how hard it is to go through something like that," Lance cuts him off, shouting, the confusion ringing out in his voice. "But how are you over her but not over the pain? How are you over the girl that you loved for three years? How? The girl you stuck by with for three years, all that effort you put in?"

Andre hesitates, sitting back down and running a hand through his hair. "Skye."

Lance jeers in disbelief, wildly gazing around him. "Skye? Really?" He sputters. "You can't possibly love Skye now, you just-"

"I don't fucking know, Lance!" Andre snaps, still looking down, punching the ground. Shocked, Lance retreats a single step, a silence falling over him. "I know what you're trying to ask! I thought I'd never be over Indigo! You're right, all that fucking effort I put in and that she put in, too. You wouldn't want that to go to waste!"

Lance's guilty expression stares at me, but he shoots his look back at Andre, who is now looking at both of us. His eyes are flaring, on the verge of tears, but he wouldn't allow himself to cry. He gestures at something to my right, and I see Marjorie jogging back.

I can see the concern in her eyes, but she pants as she catches up to us. She sits next to me, not acknowledging anyone, keeping her gaze fixated on the sand.

"When I met Skye, I saw something in her that Indigo never ever had," Andre lowers his voice, but it shakes achingly. "Skye knew my pain better than anyone here; she fully understands it. She's been through more than I have! And.."

I rub his back, but he backs away defensively, rising up.

"I understand her pain, too, somehow. I've never been in her position in life, but just imagining her going through all that, seeing her try to take the entire world all on her own? It hurts," Andre shakes his head, his voice trembling, full of pain and love all at the same time. "It hurts so bad to see her in that position, that just thinking about it makes me want to throw up."

Lance opens his mouth to speak, but Andre shushes him, swallowing hard.

"It hurts so bad I can't stand to just watch her all alone," He says. "In my heart, I know the right thing to do is to help her and struggle with her."

He pauses and glances over at Marjorie and Lance. Marjorie finally glances up, and it looks as if she knows what he's about to say.

"I'll hold up the entire world for her, just to see her happy, to see her smile and be free of all that pain. Even if it kills me. She's never known true happiness, and it would mean everything to me to see her have that."

Andre runs a hand through his hair and lets out a long breath. His legs shake, and so does his arms as he lowers them from his head. "If that's not enough for you, Lance, I realized something not too long ago."

Lance gulps, "What's that?"

"I realized that Indigo dated me just to break up," Andre replies.

My mouth begins to gape open.

"And if you know me, Lance, I date to marry. I ain't gonna waste my energy trying to win a girl who doesn't see dating the way I see it," He's starting to calm down, observing the sun setting behind the lake. "Dating leads to marriage. If not, you're dating to break-up, and that's a huge waste of time. I'm not saying I'll eventually date Skye, but I just wanted to shed some more light on why I moved on so quickly."

I remember we had a conversation like this maybe three months before I left. That's when I concluded he was the love of my life. He gave me a similar talk about how he viewed dating. I listened to his words, and he told me that dating is what leads to a forever, to marriage. The other option was dating to break-up, and I didn't want that either.

No matter how young we were, we knew what we both wanted: A forever. And you know what? I think I'll have my forever with him, but not in the way I imagined it. We'll have our forever how it was like before: Always be there for each other, and cherish every moment like its the last.

"I see a future with Skye, too," Andre continues, turning around to finally face us. There's a small smile on his face. "Even if I.. Even if I don't end up with her, I see a future with her as one of the greatest friends I'll ever have in my life. I know we'll both end up okay, we won't feel this pain one day, that's the future I see. I'm over Indigo because all the lies and deception; why would I wanna cling onto that? Why would I let my feelings linger for someone who gained my trust and broke it? Fuck, and I still trust her!" Andre slumps down onto the sandy floor and looks beyond the horizon at the tremendous orange sun. "Indigo is a good person; she's just unbearably stupid. When I was with her, all I could think about was the future with her getting married, but that all went away because she couldn't think about me for one fucking second. She wasn't dating me to marry me. Why would I stick around? With Skye, I see the brightest future for me, for her, for all of us. We need her as much as she needs us."

There it was, the explanation all of us needed to hear.

"Skye's future is so bright," Andre laments, the tears welling up in his eyes, finally falling down, like a light drizzle on a Sunday afternoon. "And I know that if we stay with her and support her, she's gonna be one of our greatest friends- no, the greatest family we'll ever have."

All of us crowd around him, about to hug him, but someone hollers from the boat docks.

"Hey!" Miguel and Christie call out at the same time. We disperse, but we stay by Andre's side as they approach us.

Christie leaves Miguel's side and comes to me, grinning. "How's your day been, love?"

"It's been great," I reply, looking over at Miguel catching up with the others. "We just listened to Andre talk about his feelings."

The brit beams thoughtfully, glancing over at them, too. "They've been together long, yes?"

I nod, "Yes, but from what I heard, they grew apart in high school. I'm glad they reunited. Or else you and I may have not been here."

"It's funny how things happen," Christie sits down. "I'm terribly exhausted."

"Same here."

I shake my head, smiling, standing up abruptly, and strutting past everyone. I walk up on top of a boulder buried in the sand overlooking and the lake. The sun's orange tint reflects on the clear waters below.

I breathe in the air, closing my eyes briefly and sensing the atmosphere around me. I fondly admire the beautiful scenery. The organized treeline across the lake, the unusual, but unique cattails poking out of weird places in the water.

It's all so peaceful. I wish my life could have always felt like this, felt at ease. As if my life was the water flowing in one swift direction.

However, I'm grateful for my life, a river that was nearly stopped by the odd boulders or tree in the way of the stream. Because if those things didn't try stopping my stream, I wouldn't have been as strong, as wise as I am now.

I dream of becoming like an ocean, as weird as that sounds. An ocean is vast and big and mysterious. We don't know all about the ocean, only a little bit of it. If people took the time to try and understand the ocean, instead of trying to pry out its secrets, then maybe we'd know more about it.

Just like this lake, we don't know what's on the bottom. People try to pry and dig and force their way into figuring out secrets, instead of just sitting down to listen and understand.

I don't know many secrets, and people don't know much of mine. Still, if we can understand each other, we'd figure them out together without saying anything.

This lake makes me think of all these things, and I still can put a smile on my face, and tell people that I love them, tell them I care, even though I had every excuse to block out the world.

I realized at one point that the world was too beautiful to block out completely; you just have to look in the right places and in the right perspective to see the world's beauty in its fullness.

The world and I, we can be friends. I try to understand the world and its people far too much. I forget about the moment I'm in. The moment in and of itself is important to live in; all the memories people have to revolve around those moments.

If we don't acknowledge the moment, we'd be wasting our lives on memories that don't matter and don't teach you anything.

That's why remembering is so easy for some people. The people that remember the bad and good things in life are the strongest, only if they acknowledge and empathize with those pivotal moments.

I am trying my best to do all I say and think. Even the most painful memories I keep, just to remind myself I'm stronger than I was before.

And I am stronger than I was before.

Me standing atop this rock, overlooking a lake—which can very much be the thing that drowns and kills me if I'm not careful—admiring it for its simplistic beauty of how it flows with the wind. It flows somewhere, someplace we may not know.

Only the lake knows where it's going, and if it doesn't, it trusts that the flow of its own stream is leading it to the right place and accepting it.

That's absolutely beautiful.

"It is pretty," Christie sits next to my leg with Miguel now at her side.

"Yes," I agree with her completely, keeping my eyes on the horizon in front. "Absolutely."

Andre's POV

I wrap the fillets in sheets of tinfoil after Nick had seasoned the fish. I hover my nose above the meat and take a whiff, smiling whimsically at the unique scents of the seasonings and the fish.

"Thank God, I brought those seasonings," I mutter out, placing the fillets down on grill grates. "Nice catch, Nick."

He scratches his head, chuckling, "Some of those fillets are from John's catch, too."

I glance over at my friend, sitting next to Tagu. She playfully picks at his cheek until she droops her head to lean on his shoulder.

"Did you at least take a picture of the fish, Jolo?" I march over to him. "I'm surprised you even caught one without my help. Did you fall into the water again?"

Tagu laughs giddily, "I watched over his ass, don't worry. And I did take a picture. C'mere."

I move behind her and crouch down as she drags out her phone from her pocket. She brings up a picture of John with his wide smile, headband, and big walleye hoisted up with both hands.

"Holy shit!" A grin spreads on our faces. "No wonder there's so much meat on some of these fillets! We eating good tonight!" I exclaim.

John shrugs cockily, snickering as she puts an arm around Tagu. "I'm the GOAT now, right?"

My eyes flicker when I put a hand on his shoulder, "Yes, Jolo, you are the GOAT."

"Perfect," He claps his hands together.

I shake my head, looking around to find Lance and Julianna. I find them in the gazebo, skewering the hot dogs and separating the burgers from plastic. We didn't bring any hot dog buns, so we're making hot dogs that way, we'd always do it as kids. My Filipino family never really liked hot dog buns, so we stuck bamboo skewers inside them and roasted them as if they were pork barbeque.

"How's it going, you two?"

Julianna scurries up to me and hugs me quickly, "You need this."

I tightly hug her back, holding onto her shoulders after pulling away. "Nah, don't worry. What I needed was to let all that out."

She nods, but there's a cloud of disbelief in her eyes. I reassuringly hug her again.

"I think you better help Lance," I point to my cousin. "I already started cooking."

Julianna doesn't say a word, only returning to her station next to Lance.

We got lucky on the picnic tables. The campsite we're on is only a medium-sized one, but an extra table was somehow left here. I'm assuming it's the site next to us that owns this table, but luckily enough, no one occupied that land.

"Tiger," Skye calls, and I look over instantly. She's carrying a large Tupperware full of the barbeque, the ends of the bamboo skewers sticking out. "Come help me put these over the fire."

I shuffle over to her, sitting down on a log. I reach over to get a skewer but feel her hand instead. We both retreat and stare at each other, awkwardly.

"You go," we say at the same time.

Skye's face colours pink. She studies me before putting a hand in first and putting a skewer on the grill grates.

A light sizzle prompts me to reach in to get my own stick. We repeat this process, not a single word said to each other.

I haven't said much to Skye since we went swimming. I barely talked to her in the tent. The most we've gone not speaking to each other is when we're asleep. Since the day we met, we've texted and seen each other almost every day. The only other time—and this is hazy in my mind—was when she went to New Island Sushi with M.J, Lance, and Julianna.

Thu Thu came to visit, we watched a movie, but it still seems so foggy in my head. I was drunk, after all.

The sun had already set behind the horizon, but the sky still beams a light purple. We'd better hurry up on dinner.

"Fish should be done," Skye mumbles, flipping over the barbeque.

Nick notices my look, and he hands me the pair of tongs and a plate. We brought some regular dishes; some of the food would burn through the styrofoam instantly.

I slowly pry open the hot tinfoil shell, the steam escaping almost immediately.

"Wow, there's a crust," Nick laughs in disbelief. He slips by me and uses a plastic fork to slice himself a piece. "It's cooked perfectly. All of them should be done now."

I nod approvingly and walk over to the fire to handle the rest of the fillets. Skye smiles at me, unusually enough. She'd only ever smile at me if I smiled at her first.

"Hey there, Skye-With-An-E," I greet her with a poke on her forehead. "Wanna eat early? Fish is good."

Skye shakes her head painfully slow, "I'll wait for the barbeque to cook. And I'm saving space in my stomach for burgers."

An hour passes, and we're a little late on dinner. The barbeque skewers are finally done cooking. Skye and Julianna waste no time putting the burgers and hot dogs down. All of us sat around the campfire again, devoured all the rice and the fish. The only food left is just a stick of barbeque and the burgers and hot dogs cooking over the fire.

The only light illuminating our site on this dark night is the lanterns hung up on the rope holding up the tarp, and the fire itself. The gazebo has a few lanterns, too, on the corners of the picnic table.

Julianna and Nick decided not to bring out the booze for tonight. The rest agreed, wanting a nice, quiet, and sober night to just talk and spill some tea. Well, half of me really wanted to drink, only to suppress those nightmares from coming.

I don't know, when I get drunk, my dreams are a little fuzzier, but they're all the better than what that reoccurring nightmare gives me. It might not be scary to anyone else, but that's why I call it my nightmare.

I didn't want to object to their agreement, mostly because Thu Thu and Skye know about my problem and are willing to consult everyone about it if I push too far.

The talking wasn't so bad, though. While Julianna and Skye were in the middle of cooking, Christie had been opening up a lot since yesterday, and she's gotten quite comfortable with us.

"What part of the U.K. are you from?" Quinn asks, sitting at the edge of her seat.

"I'm from New Castle upon Tyne," Christie answers, happily leaning back into her chair. "Dinner hit the spot, by the way, thank you."

I grin, handing her a water bottle, "You helped prepare it. Thank yourself, too."

Christie takes it, thankfully nodding at me before popping the cap open and taking a sip. "Then, thank you for enjoying the dinner I helped prepare."

Tiny giggles circle the bonfire, Skye approaching Christie with a newly constructed burger. "I hope you have room for more."

The Brit widens her eyes, taking it in her hand and eyeing it closely, "Skye, you assembled this beautifully."

Skye shrugs, a soft blush spreading over her face, "Oh, I do what I can."

"You're telling me there's a city called 'New Castle upon Tyne?'" John inquires, rubbing his chin.

All of us sigh sorely.

"Yes, Jolo," Marjorie scoffs bitterly.

"What? How am I supposed to know every city in the U.K?"

Christie chuckles giddily, taking a bite from her burger. "You're quite the silly fellow, are you?"

John looks around, genuinely oblivious that the person she's calling is him.

"Oh, me?" John chortles, pointing to himself childishly. "Yes, yes, I am. Thank you."

Julianna rolls her eyes as she stands up. "Anyone else want burgers?"

A bunch of hands rises up, and Julianna counts, gesturing at Skye to come to the picnic table; to prepare the buns and toppings, I assume.

John and Tagu had been looking very tense and anxious, shuffling around in their chairs as dinner continued. I didn't think much of it, but I had a hunch that something happened between those two.

John is better at hiding his anxiety. He just did it, moving into the conversation others were having to take his mind off whatever was bothering up.

Another patty sizzles on the grill as Julianna and Skye sit down close to the fire. John clears his throat loudly, nervously fidgeting with his thumbs.

"Is there something on your mind?" Quinn blinks, John's eyes shooting up at her.

"Yes," he stutters. He glances at Tagu, and she nods at him as if she granted him permission.

Lance tilts his head. Even he's confused; we've never seen John so pale and so nervous aside from that time in the tenth grade during basketball tryouts.

"So, Tagu and I wanted to say- no tell everyone- no-"

Tagu groans playfully, standing up with the biggest smile plastered across her face. "John and I are official."

A moment of silence hovers over us, like a storm cloud suddenly covering the sun on a warm day. In just a few seconds, that cloud of silence gets blown away by the sounds of cheering, laughing, and happiness, letting the sunshine on us again on this momentous night.

Us boys bombard John, hitting his shoulder, ruffling his hair, and telling him he finally has someone. For years, John had been too afraid of relationships, so this came as a shocker to us. We know that Tagu and John are alike in many ways, even in the views of relationships. But they obviously set aside their opinions to try this with each other, and I know the ride will be greater than ever before.

Similarly, the girls—even Skye—congratulated Tagu. Julianna and Skye quipping about how Tagu could've done better than John but just as long as she's happy, the girls would be satisfied. Hell, our family would be satisfied. There comes a risk that if they do split, then there would be this awkwardness between them, but John and Tagu never really come off as awkward people. Even in the most uncomfortable situations, they somehow find comfort inside themselves, which radiates on us.

"So, how did it happen?" I inquire, nudging John's shoulder teasingly.

Even with his face cloaked in the dark, his face's redness burns more brightly than the fire.

"We kissed," John replies, bluntly and quickly.

Tagu smirks, staring at her boyfriend in disbelief, "I kissed you first. There was no 'we.'"

His mouth opens ajar, but he stops himself, refusing to joke during such a moment as this.

We all retreat back into our seats, burgers now in hand. I devour mine to distract the thoughts building in my head. I stare at the ground mindlessly, my hands in my hair, trying to fix the mess I told myself I had.

"Andre, your hair is fine," Skye sits in the empty chair next to me.

She startles me, and my hands fall onto my lap, grasping a water bottle and taking a sip before replying to her. "Force of habit."

"Yeah, you do it all the time."

Her words echo in my head, thankfully enough, they suppress my own mind playing tricks on me, her voice soothing me.

Julianna, once and a while, would stand up and tend to the fire. She feeds it with another medium-sized branch we found earlier today to preserve the firewood we purchased awhile ago.

"If you don't mind me asking," Skye speaks up again, this time gathering everyone's attention. She gulps but proceeds. "Why did you wanna move away from your old school?"

"That's a sudden question to ask, Skye," I reply. "I said yesterday I had my own reasons."

Skye huffs, "Everyone knows my reasons for wanting to move, except for Nick, Christie, and Quinn. I just can't understand you want to move from your friends."

I realized that last night, too. That my selfishness for myself undermined my own friends, my family. But last year, and the tenth grade was different. I wasn't with them, they weren't with me. I only had John and Joshua Chavez. That's how it always felt to me. There were others here and there, but I still retreated to those two, and Indigo when I was with her.

"You should know my reason, too," I say bluntly.

I feel Marjorie's eyes on me, and I look up at her guilty expression. I shake my head to reassure her, but her look stays still when glancing away.

Skye pleads, "There has to be more than that. I mean, you had John, right?"

"He was always with them," I counter. "I wouldn't wanna be a bother anyway because that's what I felt like I was."

"Wait, I'm confused," Julianna interrupts. "We haven't heard this story."

"Of course you haven't, I haven't mentioned to the rest of you," I explain, gawking at the fire. "We weren't as close again in grade 10, and it was only by the tail end of grade 11 that I felt okay being there."

Thu Thu tilts her head, "Because of us?"

I nod, then notice Quinn, Nick, and Christie awkwardly fiddling around with stuff in their hands, or kicking dirt on the ground. "I'm sorry to drag you guys into this."

Quinn smiles thoughtfully at me, "It's okay, Andre. I'll always be here to listen."

There's no easy way to describe how my school actually is. "It's toxic there. That's all there is to it."

I gaze around to the Beth students in our group, and they remain silent. They agree with me, but won't admit it.

"Andre..." Marjorie's voice goes low.

"I was made fun of for dating Indigo, you know that?" I stand up, turning my back to them. "Two years age difference and I'm a-"

I can't finish the sentence. "You know, I feel like I'm too soft. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume it was a joke. But Goddamn it hurt because I trusted them and believed in them that they'd support me as everyone has so far. For some fucking reason, it hurt me more because they turned some of my own friends from Elem against me. They made fun of me too."

There's a shuffling behind me, and I turn around and see John, remorse plastered on his face. "If it makes you feel better, I didn't join in."

"Oh, yeah?" I sharply exhale. "Did you try stopping it? Did you, one of my best friends, defend me? God, a simple, 'hey don't do that, man' would have been sufficed."

He bites his lip, closing his eyes and sighing heavily.

"I could just be soft. Oh, look at Andre again! Sensitive, soft, whatever the fuck. It hurt because I love them as brothers!" I scream out, the echoes of pain ringing around the area. "I wanted to move because I wanted a fresh start, to be invisible until I didn't have to be until I was comfortable."

Marjorie stands next to John. "Andre, I didn't know it affected you this much, I-"

"Do you even know me anymore, Marjorie?" I nearly regret saying this to her after seeing the pained emotion on her face. "I haven't changed. I'm still me. Pure softness and sensitivity. Yeah, apparently that isn't cool nowadays, so I didn't speak up to them about it."

"Then how'd you have the courage to talk to me about it?" John asks. "For all you know, I could've been joining in like the others."

I blink back tears in hopes my lament could answer his question, "Chavez told me that you had nothing to do with it. Greg and Peji and Janus didn't either. But he didn't go on after that, so I assumed for the worse because giving myself false hope always ended so badly."

Miguel sighs, "I always knew they were a bad batch. And you always ask me why I'm always with Ken and the other Frenchies instead?"

"Miguel, not all of them are bad," John blurts after.

"I agree, not all of them are bad," I catch John by surprise, and as well as Marjorie. "But there's a reason Nathan stopped hanging around Jarrod and Chavez and Kenny, it's because he felt as uncomfortable as Miguel and I. They were always with the rest of them."

John rubs the creek of his neck, "Okay, with all due respect, why'd did you keep hanging around us before school? And even after? During lunch?

"No, I didn't," I scoff. "I only resorted to staying there until those few people came, and I was off with Indigo somewhere. And if not with her, wandering. But it got so lonely because I'd have so many friends from so many groups but even then, with all my kindness poured out, I wouldn't be considered for anything. That's why, if I move, I'd find a group of my own. It's quite selfish, and you know I hate being selfish, but apart of me really wanted that. A family."

"...Until we came back into each other's lives?" Julianna inquires, a soft tone touching her voice.

A tear trickles down my cheek, "That's part of why I stayed," I answer her truthfully. "There was also a moment last year, maybe after the break-up, when Antoinette and Gemma came to me and asked me to be the Grade 12 representative for SRC. It made me think about staying. I think you guys coming back solidified it."

Quinn coughs to gain our attention, "A bit of an off-topic question, but," she stands. "I moved back recently and was wondering if you guys could take me to Beth once camping is over? It was either that or E.D. Feehan, my parents told me to choose by next week and get the registration papers myself."

"I wouldn't recommend going there," I boldly blurt out. "...If we weren't there. You're lucky, Quinn. Feehan isn't all sunshine and rainbows either, but at least you'll have us next year."

She smiles, "Yes, that's why I wanna go there. It's a chance to live out our last year of childhood together! Just like the old times."

"I'm attending the university, Quinn, sorry," Lance quips, snickering.

She glares at him briefly before widening her eyes. "Oh, right! You would have graduated!"

Lance nods, "Yup. But I'll be sure to come and see you guys once in a while," he turns to Julianna, and kisses her cheek. "Especially this one right here."

I sit back down, with the aid of Marjorie and John's arms on my back. "If it weren't for you guys, I would have left. Even with that offer, Gemma gave me."

"Well, at least you can give yourself real hope for next year," Quinn excitedly claps her hands. "Imagine all of us, like the old days! But instead of trying to recreate those memories, we can make new ones!"

"With new people," I say. "Yeah, I said it. Call me a hypocrite, but there are some people I'm looking forward to seeing again next year. Some people I can safely call my family, too."

Christie leans forward to see me, "Darling, if you didn't want to be around the main group, why didn't you take those few people aside?"

"It's awkward, first of all," I replied as respectfully as I can. "Awkward because there is a group of boys at one table while the rest are at the other? It's gonna look real suspicious and weird, and it doesn't sit well with me that they could be blasted for that too. And also, I don't wanna pour out my baggage onto them; it's... hard to do that, especially when you have something so fragile already. I'm comfortable with you guys because I trust all of you completely. I'm not saying I don't trust those few people, but it's hard because they still retreat back to the main group."

Skye rubs my shoulder, and I glance at her, a slight grin tugging at her lips. "John had told me before what happened to you; it infuriated me, and it still does," she spits on the floor. "If I ever find those people, I'll give them a piece of my mind."

"No need, Skye," I reassure her, kissing her forehead. "I don't think those same people will be around us anymore. It's a blessing people have cars. They can leave whenever they want, and we won't have to deal with their bullshit."

She laughs, raising a leg up onto her seat and leaning on her knee. "Would rather fight to the death, but okay."

We laugh at Skye's comment, and suddenly, the topic shifts from one to another within minutes. Once the clock struck one, Quinn left to go back to her own campsite. The girls told her to be careful, including Skye, who just waved her off after Quinn started approaching her for a hug. Lance and Julianna stuffed themselves into their tent after Quinn was out of view. Nick found solace in his trailer and Tagu, John, Miguel, and Christie leaving. Thu Thu nods at us, hugging Skye and I tenderly before she went off to bed.

I open the tent for Skye, letting her climb in first. I kiss her cheek goodnight, her red face lighting up the interior of the tent. I laugh at her, then close my eyes.

Skye fell asleep unusually fast. She must have been tired of today's moments; she did conquer her fear, after all.

...

I bolt up suddenly, barely breathing. I hold my neck, wanting to breathe and wondering if I'd been suffocating. I'm drenched again, and my mattress and covers are as well. The damn nightmare came back, and it's planning on ruining these next few days. I don't drink for a single night and it happens again. 

Sweat drips from the tips of my hair, and the pores of my forehead. I reach over for a dry cloth and dry my face and my body. My breathing regulates, but I'm worried if I try to force myself to bed again, I'd have an attack from the inactivity, from my own thoughts eating me from the inside.

I look over at Skye's body and decide not to wake her. She barely got enough sleep last night; it'd be rude of me to shave off some of her precious time sleeping. In plus, if I get her all worked up and worried, I wouldn't be able to convince her to snooze off again.

I quietly unzip the tent and crawl out. The fire is on the brink of lighting out, but a few crackles tell me otherwise. I slip on my shoes and power on my phone's flashlight and start walking down the road. I'm planning to return to the alcove where Skye and I stargazed; somehow, that part of the park is brighter than the rest of it, despite the moonlight lighting some parts of the place up.

The hard part now is climbing into the shrubbery. One foot reaches in and hits the path, which leads to the alcove, and with one final glance at the tipi, I push myself into the bushes. I turn off my flashlight, seeing the moon reflecting off the water's surface, just a single circle rippling on it. I can faintly see the stars in the cracks of the trees until I look back down and see someone standing there.

I would have bolted right there because I can't tell if they're staring at me or the other way.

"Who's there?" A familiar voice whispers, and the silhouette of her head looks over her neck.

"Quinn?" I call out, exiting the shrubbery. I see her more clearly now, her hands clasped behind her back, just standing in the middle of the sand bed.

She eagerly pulls me into a hug and lets me go. "I thought I'd be alone here tonight."

"So did I," I sit down on a rock, finding the tree where Skye and I carved our initials in.

A silence dawns on us as we both stare up into the endless array of stars above us.

"Happy belated birthday, by the way."

She sharply turns her head at me, her eyes watering profusely. She flashes me an uncertain look before walking up to me slowly. "You... you still remember?"

I frown. I hate seeing her on the brink of tears; it's just not who she is. I pull her into a hug, this time longer. She tightens it, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Of course, I remember," I softly brush my cheek onto her hair. "I remember everyone's birthdays, I'm afraid."

She pulls away even slower than she approached me, and she takes my hand in hers.

"I thought everyone forgot, including you," Quinn shyly rubs her arm.

I shake my head, "Nah, they just didn't know how to talk to you about it. Luckily for me, this is a perfect time."

I sit down on the sand and tap the spot next to me, indicating her to sit. She does so and puts an arm around mine, leaning on my shoulder.

I'm even happier now that I came out here. If Quinn weren't here in the first place, I don't think I could've found a proper time to greet her. Sure, we did hang out today after we went swimming, but it still didn't feel right. I played her favourite song, and I still thought it was a bad time.

"You know, Andre," Quinn sighs, lifting her head. "You did a lot of brave things today."

"Hm? And what's that?" I glance at her with a smile.

"You had to pour out all your feelings in a single day," She says. "And your emotions were everywhere! You had to talk about Skye, and how you felt about her and how you felt about the break-up, talk about your struggle at school, and and and and-"

"Slow down! Slow down," I laugh, covering her mouth. "I'm glad I did, anyway. There's no use in bottling up everything, it's a recipe for disaster."

Quinn gasps, embracing me and screaming into my arm. "You learned so much since I left! You remember who told you that?"

I look around jokingly, lifting my hand to see under it and looking past her head. "Nope, can't seem to find them here."

She slaps me gently, giggling giddily. "Save it!"

I slip my phone out and take a look at the time. "When are you planning on going back?"

Quinn shrugs, "Anytime, I guess. My entire family fell asleep before I even got back."

"I'll stay here as long as you are then," I tell her.

"What if I stay the entire night?"

"Maybe not that," I chuckle. "I feel like it's gonna be a long day tomorrow."

"I agree, actually," Quinn replies. "Marjorie and Tagu talked about going to the concession. Unhealthy provincial park deep-fried food tastes so good."

I purse my lips and nod, "Yup, it really is."

Quinn tilts her head, smiling softly at me, her ocean eyes glistening. "Something's on your mind," She whispers.

"She's on my mind," I answer honestly. "I can't... I don't know, Quinn. False hope feels shitty when it hits you. There's a part of me clinging onto the belief that she does like me back."

Quinn rubs my back soothingly, drifting on my shoulder again. "If I were you, I'd cling onto that."

I look at her confusedly.

"Because, Andre, you have to have faith in the people you care for," She says, her voice beaming. "If you really do like her in that sense, then you'd keep your hopes up. Fear isn't a thing you should run towards, if anything, you should always run back to Skye."

Her words cut deep, and I realize that part of me earlier, on that tangent I went on at the beach, was wrong. Since May, my fear for many things drove my decisions in some way or another. To let it break down who I truly am would be an insult to the person I know myself to be. It only scared me that I'd have to feel that rejection again, that pain of someone not wanting me. But Quinn is right, if I really did like Skye, I should cling onto the hope that she does feel the same way about me, and maybe things can escalate even further.

"Hey! Let's look for constellations! I'll go first, okay?" Quinn starts pointing at the stars, tracing the air with her fingers."

I'm wondering now if the others actually remembered her birthday. I mean, no one mentioned it when she had left. Maybe they were all tired, but either way, I'm going to bring it up, and we'll have a party thrown for her. I'll even go out of my way to buy her a cake at the co-op near here by the highway. I'll let M.J. and Julianna know if I manage to wake up.

Quinn calls out the big dipper, and I start looking for Pisces, as it's the second easiest for me to find. It's hard to tell if I will get enough sleep anyway, or if we'll end up sleeping here. Either way, I won't regret a thing.


	40. Hallelujah

_Camping: Day 3_  
_July 24, 2019_  
_12:01 p.m._

Skye's POV

"M.J.!" I yell behind me, panting as I adjust my shirt. "You better hurry! It looks packed inside!"

Marjorie huffs, nearly tripping as she jogs closer and closer to me. "Sorry, Skye!" She catches up, hanging onto my shoulder. "I told you not to wait up for me."

I shrug, "It's alright. Let's just hope they found a table and a spot in line."

Today might be the hottest day of summer in Saskatoon. 35 degrees celsius, no clouds, and all sun.

I'm wearing one of the only t-shirts I have, an oversized Nevermore gothic shirt. They were my pajamas last night; I started to love wearing oversized shirts after my stay at Andre's house.

It isn't very appropriate to wear black on such a hot day, but a t-shirt is a t-shirt. In plus, I know for a fact there's air conditioning inside the store. It explains the number of people inside, probably in line for cold beverages or ice cream.

Marjorie smirks, scanning me, "Who are you trynna impress?"

"Excuse me?" I glance at her briefly.

"I've seen you wear those fish-nets before, but I've never seen you rock em' showing so much skin," Marjorie raises her eyebrows. "It's a good look on you, though. Fits the aesthetic."

"Did I impress you? Cause' if I'm gonna answer that question, yes I wore this to impress you," I tease her.

Marjorie jeers. "You're gonna catch some eyes looking at you," she warns me, though she's making it sound like a good thing. "Your ass is showing, Skye."

My eyes widen, and I pull my shirt down so hard I think I might have ripped it.

"It was only a joke, don't ruin the shirt!" Marjorie laughs, putting her arms around me.

I glare at her, "Holy fuck, M.J.," I give into the temptation of laughing and push her smug face out of my way. "Had a heart attack there for a second."

Marjorie stops walking and halts me underneath a tree with a gentle tug on my shirt. Even under the shade, the solace is only temporary. After only a few seconds of stopping, the light yet warm breeze picks up and swings at us. Somehow, the heat of the wind gives me chills as it repeatedly hits my skin.

I stare into the store, still packed with people, though most leave as we move closer and closer to the doors.

"It's somehow even worse under here," Marjorie plops down onto the floor, leaning her back against the tree.

I remain standing, watching the lineup tentatively if there's an opening for us to get inside the store. The beach at this time is packed; there are so many people in the water, trying to find a remedy for this hot day.

John told us earlier before they left that later tonight wouldn't be much better; it'd be like a typical summer day. A 25 degree weather evening doesn't bode well with me. The nighttime for me always came with the coldness, which somehow always comforted me. I feel invisible inside the darkness; that's why I'd have my room light off at home.

My bedroom is this bright, pink, and white mess that always hurts my eyes. It makes me feel anxious, too, about how neat and perfect everything looks.

"There's an opening, Marjorie, let's go," I hold out my arm, and she grapples it, pulling herself up.

We move through the bodies leaving the store, and finally, the sweet air-conditioning hits our skin as we both let out a sigh of relief.

I look over at our friends, and Tagu notices me first, her mouth gaping open. But my eyes veer away from her, and they instinctively look for Andre, who's nowhere at the table.

"There you two are," Andre calls. We turn our heads and see him in line. "Was about to order you two food. Dry ribs or chicken tenders? Or hot dogs?"

I waltz up to him, my arm grazing his. "Dry ribs and fries," I smile, pulling out my phone. "I can pay for your meal too. I knew you wouldn't eat without us."

Andre laughs, "Oh, Skye. I'm sweet like that, but I'm a hungry guy."

I gasp, sounding offended. "Wow, you just betrayed me like that. Wow," I peep over at Marjorie. "He ate without us."

Marjorie gasps in response, "How could he?"

Andre scoffs, "Oh, please. The others ate without you guys, too."

"I know, Andre," I reply, walking forward with him. "Just wanted to poke fun."

Andre taps my forehead and puts his arm through mine. I pull him closer and shake my head when I feel his eyes on me.

Marjorie slips into line behind us and taps Andre's shoulder.

"What's up, M.J.?"

"Since you ate already, I'd like to offer you dessert," Marjorie suggests kindly.

"I was gonna get ice cream for myself," he says. "You don't need to pay."

Marjorie smirks, "Ice cream is off the menu! But, you know WHO is?"

I furrow my eyebrows, confused.

Andre entirely turns around this time, "Did you say who?"

I try to piece it in my mind, and it clicks. This motherfucker.

"Marjorie, don't you fu–"

She covers my mouth in time to muffle my voice.

"Skye is!" She screams. "She even dressed nicely for you!"

Andre curiously scans me and raises his eyebrows. My face heats up when I see his eyes not shifting away from me.

"I hope you know you'll have the coolest looking tan-lines once you take those off Andre claps his hands together. "Like, the coolest."

I bite my lip and shake my head. "It's your turn to order, Andre, move up."

He quickly lets go of my arm and saunters up to the worker, apologizing for making them wait. I think I'll let him pay for my meal today; Marjorie made it too awkward.

I glare at her, and she crosses her arms, trying to hold back a smug grin.

"Hey, don't look at me like that," Marjorie sucks in her lips. "It could've gone a lot worse."

As Andre takes his order, we move out of the line to let some people behind us move up. Andre falls back next to the pickup stand and gestures us over.

"Dry ribs for both of you, yes?" He tilts his head, a concerned tone ringing through his cheerful voice. "Just making sure."

Marjorie and I nod, causing a smile to slip out of him. He reaches into his cargo shorts pocket and pulls out a wrapper with its contents still inside. I look away briefly as he rips it open at John and Miguel using the arcade machine in the back, with a line of people waiting for them. It's an old _Street Fighter II_ arcade machine, and it surprisingly works fluidly.

"You want Sky Flakes?" Andre nudges me while taking a crunch of a white wafer in his hand.

I stare at him, blankly, "Excuse me?"

Andre holds up the wrapper and breaks off a rectangular-shaped cracker. "No, these," he holds out the wrapper and the snack. "Cracker?"

I laugh, "What the hell?" I politely yank the items out of his hand and scan the wrapper while plopping the cracker in my mouth. "They taste blank, but I like the texture. You got more of these?"

He nods, "Of course, I do! Anything for you, _Skye Flake._ "

"Oh, please stop," I shove his face away and stifle in a chuckle. The faint sound of a bell dings amongst the talking, and I glance over at the pickup counter. "Mac, the food's ready."

Andre raises his brows and turns around, smiling at the worker, thankfully. "Thanks!" He bows before picking up the tray of food. "Find your seat, Skye Flake."

I roll my eyes and gesture for him to hurry, "I'll wait. Don't want you dropping our food."

He shakes his head, "You know, no one else calls me 'Mac' but my friend, Dale."

I shrug, "Well, lucky you. I'm calling you that now."

Andre puts the food down in front of Marjorie, and I take a detour to get ketchup by the condiments counter near the exit. Miguel cheers and many different people around them, as he has his hands up in the air, escaping the crowd.

John rubs his forehead, a big smile plastered on his face. He notices me, approaching and gesturing for me to hand him one of the ketchup cups.

"Miguel beat you?" I ask.

He nods, taking two of the ketchup cups away from me. "It's whatever. Not every day you get to play on an old arcade machine."

I take a seat next to Marjorie, taking my portion of the food and eating it slowly. Quinn and Thu Thu are across from us, while Andre, Miguel, Nick, and Christie all remained standing around our table, waiting for us to finish eating. Lance, Tagu, and Julianna are on the other side of the store where the ice cream counter is.

Andre smirks and grabs a fry from my basket. I glare at him, annoyed, shaking my head.

"Go ahead," I can hear the irritation in my voice, which makes me feel half-guilty.

I look over at him, and his hand starts moving closer to my face. I back away, confused as I pop another rib into my mouth.

"Can I help you?"

"No," Andre says, scoffing. "I'm helping you. You'll eat faster if I feed you."

I furrow my eyebrows, and my mouth hangs open. "Excuse‐"

He puts the fry he had just taken straight into my mouth, and I chew, still giving him the same confused look.

"What the fuck just happened?" Marjorie spouts, still eating.

"You eat faster if someone feeds you while you feed yourself, so let's go, Skye," Andre nods, picking up more fries. "I want ice cream; I ain't going without you."

This prompts a laugh out of me as I push his hand away, "Stop it!" I move my head away. "Andre! Okay!"

He puts a fry in his mouth and leans on his palm, "You're gonna love the names of these ice cream flavours. There's a reason why Pikelake is packed in the summertime."

"Oh, God," I rub my head against Marjorie's shoulder. "The names are childish and cutesy, are they? They had an ice cream shop next to Cross with fucked names, too."

Andre covers my mouth, "Shhh! Don't disrespect the place here! The locals will kill you!"

"Mhm, I'd do them a big favour by killing myself before they do it," I sink into the chair. "Just as long as they or I do it before seeing the names. I don't have the mental for that."

John puts his hands on the table and whoops, "When are you two gonna fuck?! Like, seriously-"

 _Smack!_ "You're so goddamn loud!" Thu Thu scolds him sharply, leaving her hand raised to threaten another slap.

John hisses, pressing his hands on the top of his head and jumping in place. Andre gets up to tend to him, patting his back as he squeezes his eyes shut to try and shake the pain away.

"If it makes you feel better, Thu Thu's bitten me before," he stutters, shyly shrugging.

My heart jumps into my throat, my eyes finding Thu Thu - her face burning red. I raise a single brow at her and scan her up and down. She chuckles nervously, putting her hands up and mouthing, 'sorry.'

I roll my eyes and turn back around to finish the rest of my food.

"That- that's not making it go away, is it?" John huffs, waving Andre away with a hand.

He laughs, "You'll be fine!" Andre sounds almost believable that it looks as if John's pain had gone away after hearing his voice. Andre promptly glances at me, holding me back the elbow and pulling me up. "Ice cream time! Let's go! You two look in pain!"

I didn't give any resistance once he had a hold of me, even though I thought I'd put much more of a fight. My body just moved on its own.

His arms are intertwined in John and I's, and I clear my throat to gain Andre's attention.

"Hm?"

"... y'know what, nevermind," I refrain from asking him about the bites, assuming that it wasn't anything to worry about. Even though I'm worrying nonetheless, wondering how long ago that happened.

The three of us waltz up to ice cream counters that now have little to no one around it. Most of the bodies here have gone, with their cravings fulfilled and their needs met.

Bright tubes of ice cream beam up at us from under the glass as we peer down and scan the various flavours and colours.

"Andre, I ain't eating any of these," I gag and proceed to hide behind him as if I was scared.

He grabs onto my waist, a gasp coming out of me. "Hey-" he presses harder to tickle me, jokingly pulling me closer to the glass screen. I resist and pull away, still laughing, but the giddy sensation in my sides won't go away. I go stiff when I feel the slightest graze of his thumb on some of my skin during the fight. "Macatangay, get off of me!"

Andre smirks, biting his damn lip again. My face is warm, negating all the air conditioning around me.

A poke on the forehead wakes me up from my dazed state. "C'mon, at least look at them," he pleads. "You're here out of irony anyway, right?" Andre winks.

I sigh, stifling my smile and sauntering up to the glass.

"Okay, based on name alone," Andre says. "Which one would you try?"

John rubs his chin, exaggerating his actions once he points at a tube. "A Midsummer's Ice Cream! I love Shakespeare!" He flicks a finger up, chortling.

"Seriously?"

"Hell no," The tone in his voice shifts. "You really think I paid attention to English classes? It's usually my worst class every year. Andre usually helps me with them."

Andre agrees pridefully, "Of course! We never read Midsummer, though."

"Me neither," he laughs.

I peer through the glass once again. "God-fucking-damn it, they all are cutesy,"

"Not all of them," Andre argues, looking over my shoulder. "I wanna try that one... Kiss on the Lips."

We glance at each other, and the warmness in my chest and face return. His breath glides across my lips, the shivers moving up and down my arms and my back. A wink in my direction prompts me to push his stupid face out of the way again.

He returns to my side, John still observing on his own right next to him. "There are more flavours below this row," he points, my eyes lighting up when I see a glimmer of black. "There's little tiny skull sprinkles on it, too."

Andre is teasing me at this point. He knows my style and what aesthetics visually please me.

"That right there is an example of Skyce-Cream," He crosses his arms. "Who woulda thought they'd have a flavour made just for you!"

I roll my eyes playfully, then inspect the tube closer.

"I'm getting Midsummer, fuck it," John chimes in, marching up to the counter to order.

Andre follows suit, standing behind him. "I made my choice, too," he turns to me. "What is it called?"

I had barely lifted my head after Andre found this gem of an ice cream tube for me. "It's called 'Undertaker," I answer.

John reaches over the counter and thanks the worker for his ice cream, then walks away. He goes straight towards the isles and starts inspecting the contents on one of the shelves.

I look back at Andre, my eyes following him as he approaches the counter. The worker scoops out his ice cream fast, handing him the cone. Andre puts a ten on the counter and smiles.

"Keep the change; it's a hot day today," He grins.

The worker nods and Andre steps next to John, who'd been inspecting useless, plastic pool toys. Such toys typically broke right after you pulled it out of its packaging.

I stare at the ice cream cone, however, curiously examining it. I would assume that it was black licorice, but Andre hates that flavour, and it's evident on his face he's enjoying it.

He notices my curiosity, holding the cone in front of my lips and tilting his head. "You wanna share mine?"

"What? No," I scoff. "Of course not."

He studies me in disbelief, his arm staying stationary in front of me.

"Are you sure?" Andre snickers, mocking me with that damn grin.

John bites into the side of his cone, swiping his thumb just below his lip. "Skye, I've never seen your eyes so wide."

I glare at him briefly, stammering. "I'm _sorry,_ " my gaze transfixes back onto the shimmering black of the ice cream. "Look at it! I can't _not_ try something like that!"

"Here," Andre's voice is mild, his smile lifting in the corner of his mouth.

I steady his cone with my hand, laying it gently on top of his. Our fingers brush together, and our eyes meet over the ice cream.

His face flushes, and he subtly looks off into the bottom corner of a shelf. I take a tentative lick, the taste hitting my tongue like fireworks.

My eyes pop open, "Holy shit!"

"It's good, ain't it?" Andre tips forward to kiss my forehead. "I'll get you one if you want."

I shake my head, "No, no, I'm good sharing with you."

He agrees, dipping his head down slightly and slyly sliding his hand into mine. "The others are rolling out," Andre signals at John, who snaps his head to the door. "Go, we're right behind you."

Jolo marches out in front of us, and we follow him closely, sharing the ice cream - hand in hand - every step of the way.

_9:14 p.m._

Marjorie's POV

Skye giggles, pointing mockingly at John, "You shoulda seen your face!" she screams in amusement. "What's with you falling into water? THERE WERE SEATING RESTRAINTS THIS TIME!"

John defensively puts his hands up, "Look, man! I thought it'd be funny to unbuckle for a second and look into the water! I didn't know you were gonna make a sharp turn!"

"It's a fucking paddleboat," Skye retorts defiantly, covering her mouth. "It's impossible to make a sharp turn."

He stutters wildly until Tagu sits him down and disappointedly hands him a can of Palm Bay. "Here, you can drink early tonight."

Glancing at the sun, he slowly pushes the can away from him. "Sun is still up. Too early."

"Pass it here," Andre elevates his arm as he flips multiple burgers on the grill.

She tosses the can, and he catches it, popping it open and taking a long sip. All of us stare at him worriedly, namely Skye and Thu Thu, who glance at each other. They speak to each other with their faces, and I saunter up to Thu Thu, her false smile shining my way once she notices me.

"Hi, M.J.!" Thu Thu's tone doesn't match her body language, her shoulders slumped over and dejected. "Hungry?"

I respond, agreeing with her, looking over at Skye, her focus still fixated on Andre. He tosses his can into an open crate, one Nick brought himself to make recycling trips a bit easier. We didn't pack any extra plastic bags and decided that the extra bin Nick had in his trailer could be used.

The aroma of the contents on the grill travels into my nose, enticing my hunger more than it already did.

Quinn pops her head in between Skye and me, her arms promptly wrapping around us. Skye finally breaks her gaze, and the slightest smile creeps out as she notices it was Quinn. It goes away quickly, however, and she sharply turns her head away. The gut-feeling I have is Skye's jealousy brewing silently inside her.

"So, girls, I was thinking," Quinn starts brightly. "Let's all stargaze later! Y'know, because we all decide to hang out here instead of enjoying nature."

Skye gulps, rubbing her bicep. "I kinda want to as well," she confesses. "Andre and I went the first night when everyone was asleep. It'd been nice if all of us were there."

Quinn gasps excitedly, "I went with him, too! Last night!"

Skye's face falls, and the attempt to hide her emotions was futile. "Oh, really?" Her words sound empty, but this hint of anxiety echoes between her breaths. "What time?"

She shrugs, "Beats me. He gave me..." Quinn pauses, her arms falling at her sides and her head dipping. Skye's eyes begin to glimmer, her body shifting, facing the bushes. "He gave me the best birthday present I've had in a while."

A light clicks on in my head, and I heave, hugging Quinn tightly and giggling. "I almost forgot! I'm so sorry, Quinn! Your birthday was four days ago, already!"

"Oh, save your apologies," Quinn kisses my forehead sweetly. "I didn't expect anyone to remember; it'd been so long after all."

Andre appears next to us, sipping on another can. "Quinn, you realize this dinner is for you, right?" He smiles at her, staring at her the same way he had all those years ago. Wonder and amazement in his eyes, but something is missing now.

"Oh, you flatterer," Quinn grazes a hand across his shoulder, flashing him an enticing grin. Andre's face goes red, and that was enough for Skye to quietly walk away without the two of them noticing. Thu Thu follows her too, and so do I, saying good-bye quickly, dashing after them.

The tint of light-violet begins to flood the skyline beyond the horizon. We chase after Skye, who'd been running towards the alcove. I estimate that the sun would fully set at around ten, and dinner would be ready as soon as we got back. The moon is beginning to bloom pure-white - the beauty of it making me halt my running to see it in its entirety. Until I hear the bushes rustling profusely, urging me to scurry through.

Skye is sitting down, hugging her knees in the sand with Thu Thu hovering over her, who turns her head at me. A frown pulls her lips down, and I slowly approach Skye, hovering a wary hand over her shoulder.

Her red hair sags sadly down her shoulders, and she continually pulls the bottom of her shirt down to cover up her thighs.

"It hurts," Skye's hand shivers, placing it over her heart. "Right here, it hurts right here."

I sit down, her body stiffening up unnaturally. She stares at me through the gaps in her hair, her eyes dejected, the bags underneath darker than ever.

A soft breeze flows past us, the current of the water splashing carefully onto the shore.

"Why does it hurt so much, Marjorie? I know what it is to be in pain, but this pain," Skye gulps back tears, one escaping and trickling down her cheek and landing on the sand. "I haven't felt anything like this. It hurts more than..."

She stops, shaking her head and sobbing. A hand falls to her side, curling into a fist as it hits the sand.

"I want it to stop aching, but I don't wanna just abandon this," She huffs. "The past few weeks weren't a long time, but they've been the best in my life. And every day, I was with him."

Thu Thu hushes her softly, "He's too stupid for his own good that he can't see that this might be affecting you," she hisses coldly. A flash of guilt glares as her eyes move past mine; she didn't mean to sound too harsh on Andre. "But, that's the thing. If he can't see it, tell him. Sometimes people need a little push."

"It's embarrassing," Skye replies, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands. "We aren't even dating. He doesn't even know I like him back. To tell him I feel this way is stupid because what we have is only a friendship."

"Then maybe the push is for him to know the truth," Thu Thu sits next to Skye, putting an arm around her and pulling her closer. "It's hard to come to these types of conclusions but think of what might happen: if you miss your shot, he may give up on his feelings before you do. He doesn't want to make a major move on you because he respects your wishes of staying friends."

Her head tilts up, all of her hair falling down at her sides. The sun kisses her face before it fades beyond the horizon; the sky still has shades of purples and dark blues, leaving some stars to twinkle.

"Don't just sit back and watch this happen. If you miss your chance, you'll regret it. Trust me," Thu Thu's voice is a bit impatient. She's been through something like this before; we all have. It may not be the same as Skye's problem, but missing an opportunity always sits in your mind, always makes you think of what could have been. It's frustrating to let something so good slip between the tips of your fingers just because you couldn't act sooner. "Missing a shot like this is worse than taking the risk. Whatever happens, you'll learn from your mistakes, and you'll end up stronger for it."

Skye blinks, as a response, conceding her words for actions instead.

"Just think about it, okay? I don't want you to hear this and do something impulsive." She pushes herself off the ground and signals at me to get up. "You coming, Skye?"

She moves her head slowly, concentrating on the flowing water in front of her. "No," she plays with the sand in her hand, extending a leg forward. "I'll be back in a bit."

"Do you want us to wait before we eat?" I ask her.

"No."

Thu Thu sucks in her bottom lip and steps through the bushes. I take one last look behind me before going through myself and see Skye, her arm resting on top of her knee and her silky hair dancing with the wind.

We get back at around ten-fifteen, hearing a couple of car doors slam shut - Miguel and Christie are back from their co-op run. They only give us excuses for why they needed to go considering we packed a lot of food and essentials before the trip even started.

Andre calls us over, around the picnic table and asks us to lay out some styrofoam plates. Miguel places a box in the middle of the table and leaves, helping Nick bring the cooler near the campfire.

"Quinn doesn't know yet, but that's her birthday cake," Andre sits down, opening the box just a tad to see inside. "She's off with her family right now, so we can surprise her once she gets back."

I finish placing the last of the plates down on the table and peer inside the gazebo. "Food in there?" I point behind him.

"Yup," He closes the box. "Is Skye back yet? I wanted to give her something."

Thu Thu sits down next to him and leans her head on his shoulder, "From the convenience store?"

"Mhm," he pulls out a tinier box from his pocket. "I noticed it before M.J. and Skye arrived. I looked around a bit, and low and behold, there were gifts and souvenirs."

Andre takes off the lid and reveals this necklace with a silver magnifying glass at the end of it. It has a circular pattern around the lens, a crown embedded on the hitch of the handle.

"If she gets this reference, she'll be a girl that has a hold on my heart that I wouldn't break if I wanted to," he sighs, putting the necklace gently back into the box and sealing it. "And there have been times where I wanted to."

Andre and Thu Thu stare past me, and I turn around, seeing Tagu covering Quinn's eyes and walking closer to us. The suspense is obviously killing Quinn, her walking eager and quick. Tagu stops walking as she steps in front of me, causing Quinn to stop as well. She bites her lip, arms shaking excitedly.

The others gather around the table, and there's still no sign of Skye returning. I'm starting to worry that she may have gotten lost in the dark, but I remember she loves the dark; how calming it is to her.

Tagu uncovers Quinn's eyes, and she gasps, candlelight shimmering in the dark of her eyes. In front of her now is the birthday cake, with the numbers one and seven as the candles.

"You- you, guys!" She puts her arms around Tagu and me, forcing me to stand up. "Who bought the cake?"

Christie puts her hand up and grins smugly, "I wrote the 'happy birthday' too."

"Get in here! All of you!" Quinn holds her arms out, waiting with the brightest smile on her face. The rest of us surround her, Nick and John screaming her name as the group hug forms.

She jumps in the center, cheering happily like her younger-self - and we cheer along with her like our younger-selves. Though she was never close to Nicholas, she treats him like an old friend and vice versa. The effect Quinn has on all of us, no matter what we're going through, we'll smile through all of the hardships, problems, and issues because she's just enough. My only wish is that we return the favour to the best of our abilities - that is, to make her as happy as she made us all those years ago.

We separate and get seated, Andre bringing a tray of cheese-dogs, barbeque, steak-chops, and walleye fillets. Behind him, Lance brings the rice, and Julianna hands the water bottles to each of us.

Before we settle down to eat, John lights the candles and makes way for Quinn, and positions herself at the center of the table, with all eyes on her.

"Make a wish," Tagu scoots over to make room for Lance, Julianna, and Andre.

Quinn closes her eyes, the muscles in her cheek and lips relaxing. She exhales, deep in her own thoughts, and opens her eyes to blow out the candles.

Someone starts a clap from behind me, which startles me until I see Andre's cheeks colour rose, and Quinn's blinding grin widening. I turn around swiftly and look up at Skye, smiling, and clapping. She dances around the table and begins approaching her.

"Happy birthday, Pipi Longstocking," she greets her with a friendly nod. "Or belated birthday."

The tapping of her footsteps reaching Skye, Quinn jumping on her, nearly plummeting them to the ground. Skye keeps the balance before a serious fall could happen and suddenly embraces her. I glance at Thu Thu, who's look of surprise only rivals the one I have on my face.

Skye's eyebrows dip, and she taps Quinn's shoulder with her fingers. "Too much, Quinn," she mutters uncomfortably but maintains a patient stance.

"Sorry!" Quinn lets go and hangs on her shoulders. "Your hair is a different shade than mine."

Skye brings a hand to brush her hair, holding a strand out, and Quinn mimics the action.

"I guess so," Skye shrugs, now staring blankly at the other redhead. "Let's eat."

The two find their seats, Skye taking hers beside Andre as he starts to pass around the tray of food. Lance gives the rice down as well until it comes back to him, promptly setting it down on a small, foldable table next to him.

I have so many questions for Skye, but I can't ask them here. I'm sure Thu Thu is aching to question her, too. The 'Quinn-effect' somehow got through Skye's confused, jealous heart and found the softness we all saw in her the moment she came into our lives. I don't know if it's Quinn or if Skye had the most significant epiphany during her time alone in the alcove. Even people like me have a hard time shaking off jealousy, and Skye made it look so effortless - hugging the girl she's envious of.

...

The end of dinner was quiet. Nick finally hauling the large, black plastic bag to the trash bin in front of our site, then quietly took his seat between Andre and me.

The silence around the campfire is deafening. I see others twiddling their thumbs or just hunched over, observing the crackling flames facing them. Andre is on his 4th can of alcohol, trying his best to keep to himself even when he's intoxicated. He whispers something under his breath, but it's slurred beyond language. I would ask him what he said, but I don't want to break the silence. Even Quinn, perhaps one of the loudest and energetic people, is sitting idly by, staring intensely into the fire.

The rest of us drank a little bit of alcohol, too but were in no mood to drink at all. Something hitting the ground alerts each one of us, and we roll our eyes as one, realizing Andre dropped an empty can.

"Sorry," he burps, excusing himself before speaking again. "Where's the rest?"

Skye tugs on his arm, "Hey, maybe just relax now and stop drinking."

The expression on his face is more anxious than discouraged. He nods, complying with Skye's wishes for him, and droops his head.

Quinn clears her throat, "Does the beach here have a closing time?"

"No," Lance answers immediately. "Did you wanna go?"

She lifts her hand and points up, and all of us follow her finger, gazing up at a black sky.

"We can't see the stars with all this light," Quinn squints. "And it'd be a waste if we just killed the fire now instead of letting it die naturally. It is in the pit, after all."

I put my head down and poke at the fire with a long stick Miguel found earlier, tending to it and brushing aside burnt pieces of wood or coal. "What's on your mind, Quinn?" I ask.

"Let's go down to the beach, sit on the sand, and stargaze," she hums, placing a hand over her heart. "We'll all be together, and when we're finished, we can use flashlights to get back home."

Julianna grins at her warmly, standing up and agreeing with her. "It'd be a nice bonding experience for all of us," she walks towards her tent. "I'll get my flashlights. They're stronger than what our phones can give."

Andre gets up, stumbling over to the gazebo and fidgeting with the water boiler.

"What is he doing?" Skye stretches and scratches her head.

"Probably cup noodles," John shrugs, passing us by. "It sobers him up."

Nick, Miguel, and Christie start to gather at our campsite's entrance, with three of Julianna's flashlights, playing around with them. Nick jokingly points one of the beams at a bush and runs away, mouth gaped open as if he was screaming, but nothing comes out. The couple laughs at his reaction and then tests the other two lights themselves, shining it into the sky.

Skye and Thu Thu saunter up to me, beckoning me to follow them.

"Hey, Christie," Thu Thu calls as we pass. "Can we borrow one of the lights? We'll go on ahead to find a spot for everyone."

She hands it to Skye, "Be careful out there."

"We will don't worry too much," Skye replies thankfully and proceeds to lead the way.

Skye is still wearing the same outfit from earlier, spraying her legs and arms, and face with the new can of bug spray before handing the can to Thu Thu and me.

I'm kind of nervous about asking Skye about her actions from before dinner. They were so unexpected, I feel like if I ask, she'd be upset about it. Despite being quite comfortable with us as of late, it's still hard for her to open up, and doesn't take lightly to being pried.

She sighs heavily, rubbing her eyes, "Which one of you is gonna ask it?"

This catches me off guard, "Ask what?"

What a stupid question, but I don't know how else to respond to her.

Thu Thu stutters, gulping nervously and distancing herself a few steps away from Skye to give her space. "How did you do that? I mean, approach the source of your problems and embrace it. Literally."

Skye glances down at the pitch-black ground but then lifts her head to the sparkling stars above, inhaling her environment. "I thought about what you said, Thu Thu, and decided that I would confess to him tomorrow," she can't help but let out a chuckle, hopefully gazing at the sky above. "The reason I was so hasty in forgiving Quinn is because of what she told me yesterday, and I realized you both were right. If Quinn could read my feelings that quick, I know that she wouldn't do anything to jeopardize Andre and I's feelings for each other."

Her mouth opens ajar until the sound of the ground cracking near us alerts the three of us. Skye shines the light behind us, and Andre squints at the sudden burst of bright light.

"Skye, it's me," He extends an arm to shield his face from the beam.

"Sorry," she replies dryly, beginning to walk ahead of all of us. "You brought the acoustic?"

The guitar case hangs off his shoulder, removing it and putting it around Skye. "Yes, I brought your acoustic. We needa set the mood there."

Andre stares at the back of Skye's head, contemplating. I nudge him, lightly shoving him forward. He gives a bit of resistance but lets himself nearly fall down right next to Skye's feet. He regains balance, just in time before she notices, and from here, I can see that her face brightens the moment she sees him.

Skye is clueless. She had never been in a situation like this before, where her feelings positively controlled her - it's terrifying, especially in her position where her life felt as if it was just a downward spiral. Negativity is all that's been present with her, and even more so after her hopes of friendship were crushed in the 9th grade. The confidence in her voice is a bluff, but I may be wrong.

Confessing is hard, even for Thu Thu and me and everyone I know. Andre didn't even have the guts to confess to her; it just slipped out in the heat of the moment, and thankfully so. It came back to help him in the end, if Skye follows through with this plan, which I think is impulsive considering her mind was in a rocky state.

Whatever happens, I know these two will stay close. The bond they have already is too strong to break, even if all goes wrong.

We make it to the beach, Andre and Skye sitting down on a wooden beam separating the concrete and the sand.

I stand in front of them, crossing my arms and peering into the distance to see if the others were in my field of vision. I can see the beams of light, but I can't see them.

"Ah!" Andre flinches at something to his right, reflexively wrapping his arms around Skye protectively.

"It's only a mouse, Andre," she cleverly pulls him closer, holding him tighter as he shivers.

Skye scans the area as well, before their eyes meet in the dark, their faces shining in the subtle moonlight.

"You look scared," he notes, poking her forehead.

She purses her lips, furrowing her brows, "No way. You got scared of the teeniest mouse."

"How was I supposed to know it was a mouse? Maybe it was-" He stops abruptly, squinting at something behind Skye, which causes Thu Thu and I to react fearfully.

Skye's expression distorts, turning around the moment his eyes show an ounce of frightfulness.

John screams the moment her head turns, hanging onto her shoulders and shaking her gently.

I snicker, biting my lower lip to stifle my giggles. Skye furiously stands up, curling her hands into fists and swinging at John, but intentionally missing her punches.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She lowers her guard. "It's quiet hours!"

John snorts, holding his stomach, "I never thought I'd be able to startle you, but I guess you proved me wrong."

The splashing of the water seems closer than ever, but we all are a reasonable distance away from the lake itself. Everyone settles in, Quinn and Christie even laying down towels for everyone to sit on.

Lance and Julianna sit next to Andre and Skye first. However, their voices hazy and distant as the rest of us sit down on the soft towels. The couples laugh at something, but soon after, a hush falls over the group, our gazes fixated on the stars above.

The four of them settle around us, Lance and Julianna finding a spot near Miguel, Christie, and Nick, while Andre and Skye return to Thu Thu and I's side.

Skye sighs, her eyes sparkling, "Look what Andre gave me," she taps my shoulder, and the shine of the magnifying glass reflects back at me.

He scratches the back of his head. "It's the least I can do for someone like you," he chuckles.

"Evil Dead has always been one of my favourite movies," Skye clips it around her neck, overlapping the black necklace she wears every day.

Andre blinks, almost in disbelief, "You know Evil Dead?"

"Of course! The gore, blood, and the plot! It's something I can rewatch over and over again," her hand lands on his. "And I'm not talking about the 2013 reboot."

"1981?" His voice lightens up.

She shrugs, pulling a lock of hair behind her ear. "Mhm, and I've seen the sequels after that."

I've never seen Andre so mesmerized by a person. He's looking at Skye like how our friends are staring up at the stars - full of wonder, mystery, and hope. The fact that he's amazed at one tiny detail shows that there's this bewilderment Andre sees in her as if he learns so much more about her after every experience. And in turn, he believes that this girl is something so special to him and him alone.

"I could kiss you right now," He huffs, bringing a shaky hand up and stroking her cheek. She shivers, her face reddening.

Skye's blank and composed demeanor seems to snap as the words leave his mouth. "You- what, wait- excuse you?"

Andre leans in, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. I'm sure that all the fear she felt today melted away in that kiss, despite how soft and tiny it was.

"Cheeseball," she stutters quietly, looking down. Her hair falls over in front of her, and through the tiny gaps, I see the strangely calm, content smile planted on her face.

John whoops, "Money moves, by Andre Macatangay!" He punches his shoulder.

"Pfft," is all Andre could mutter out before settling down, laying his head on Skye's knee. "Play the guitar, Skye."

"No."

"I'll sing?"

 _"No,"_ John quips again, giggling loudly. He notices the others' faces of slight annoyance, and he hastily clears his throat before quieting himself.

Skye unzips the case and pulls out the acoustic guitar, the faintest shimmer on its wooden board blinking brightly. "M.J.?"

I laugh at her, beckoning her to sing instead of me. "I'm tired," I say, half-lying. "Just... sing us a lullaby."

"Yes! Do it! I bet you sound amazing!" Quinn claps slowly.

"No can do, voice is tired," Skye tunes the guitar. "You sing, Quinn."

Quinn shyly rubs the back of her head, a grin masking her true feelings. "Ah, I don't know if I should. I might not know the songs you'll play."

"You'll know it, just trust me," Skye positions her fingers, her free hand ruffling Andre's hair before lifting it up towards the guitar.

She begins playing a familiar riff, and Quinn lights up, exhaling sharply. The nervousness seems to have left her body with that breath, and she glances up at Skye, her heart warming up at the sight of her.

_"I heard there was a secret chord... that David played and it pleased the lord... but you don't really care for music, do ya?"_

The lullaby nearly sets us up for disaster, as at least four of us fell asleep listening to those two play and sing together. No matter, Skye and Quinn created a field of protection around us, that if we all just dropped dead asleep on this beach, we would wake up fine and out of trouble.

Unfortunately, we had to all wake-up pre-maturely, as the two girls couldn't sing for us right away. Both of them rounded us up, forced us to stretch out awake just for a bit longer, and walked behind us. They followed us, and so did the early-morning dark, slowly creeping up on us, until the familiar, soft comfort of our tents protected us once again.


	41. Good Life

_Camping: Day 4_   
_11:06 a.m._   
_July 25, 2019_

Andre's POV

I was the last to wake up. As soon as I peered out my tent, I saw most of everyone with backpacks on, waiting around the smouldering campfire from the previous night.

"I'm late," I embarrassingly smile at the others. They don't look pleased.

"You're not late. We agreed to leave by 11:10 since Quinn still needs to walk here. And I'm assuming she's gonna take an extra ten minutes," Tagu tosses me a pair of shoes. "You left them in the gazebo."

The pair of shoes are still in the box. I nod thankfully at her and zip my tent closed to change into a couple of new shorts and a shirt. Dale's vest is something I also grab, even though it might be sweltering hot later. It might be nice to wear if I need to take off my shirt and still feel the need to cover up.

I stretch as my feet hit the outdoor ground, but my back slumps at the tiredness still trying to leave my body. The others probably had breakfast without me. I wasn't hungry anyway.

There's no sign of Marjorie and Skye, and I would ask, but I was still half-asleep, slipping on the shoes. I sit next to Lance and John, chatting about something. I can't understand their garbled words, so I sit in silence, leaning back into the chair and staring at the blue sky, squinting at how bright it is.

I snap my eyes shut, sensing a sharp pain in my head. How did I not notice this before? Was it the early-morning drowsiness that suppressed it? Or is my body lagging?

I lean my head back, rubbing both my temples in an attempt to relieve the pain. I give up after it doesn't work.

"How much did you drink last night?" Lance bumps my shoulder, rearranging something in his pack.

"I can't remember. But I remember being woken up and sneaking a couple of drinks in the tent," I admit, feeling guilty after seeing the looks on the two boys' faces. "Skye fell asleep as soon as she hit the sheets. Otherwise, I would've been fine."

Skye knows about my issue, and the guilt—now boiling in the pit of my stomach—feels like it's trying to force its way out of my body.

Oh no.

I quickly get up, scanning around frantically for a plastic bag. The search for it seemed desperate, as if I deserved to find a bag to vomit in any way.

John and Lance point at some shrubbery, far down at the edge of the road. They were disappointed but understanding. Which I am thankful for—John getting up, putting his arm around my shoulders, practically pushing me to walk faster before I make a mess on our campground. My cheeks puff, and I cover my lips with a closed fist, moving Jolo away and running to the shrubs myself.

I almost trip into the bushes but maintain my balance somehow, considering how fucked my head is.

The embarrassing, short walk of shame back to the campsite makes me want to cry. I didn't like the others to see me hungover.

Lance calls me over and hands me a cup of water, which I drink fast.

"I'm gonna brush my teeth," I tell him, going back into my tent to retrieve my toothbrush.

I finish up, and Julianna tells us Skye and Marjorie were almost back; they'd taken a detour to snatch Quinn up themselves.

Finding my seat back next to the two boys, Lance worriedly puts a hand on me, rightfully so as he'd always felt like I was the younger brother he's always wanted.

"Why?" He asks such a simple question. My answer to it, not so much. "Why do you drink so much? Is it because you're sad?"

"No. Not at all."

He gulps. John leans forward, "Is it because of what happened?"

"It's not anything you guys think it is," I turn away, ashamed yet unregretful. "I drink a lot, so I can sleep."

Thankfully, I hear the three girls holler at us as everyone rounds up at the entrance of our ground. We all get up, John handing me my backpack I'd loaded up yesterday. Everyone pretty much had the same things in their bag - water bottles, towels, energy bars, and extra clothes.

Though Nick keeps calling this a hiking trip, the path we're walking on is an entirely straight trail. The only uphill slopes we'll have to walk through are the sand dunes at the end of the trail. Skye's never seen them, nor has Christie. I'm pretty sure everyone here has been there once or twice with their family on those occasions where gatherings happen here at Pike Lake.

My eyes fly past Skye's, and the sight of her makes my heart flutter. Seeing her, even if it is brief, always sends my mind to the clouds.

Miguel and Nick lead the way, Quinn taking my side right as I step onto the gravel road.

"Hey there," I try letting out a smile, shortly turning my head to look at her.

"You look tired," She settles the back of her hand against my forehead, her eyes worriedly scanning mine. "I've never seen you look so tired."

I grab her hand, lowering it at her side. "Yeah? I hadn't noticed," I reply, not knowing what to say afterward.

Nick had been excited to see the dunes again. It's our first time going as a group—as before we'd always be with our families, and now we'll be seeing the spectacle together. It's funny how things happen.

He beckons us to hurry, hopping beside the 'Nature-Trail' sign. The trail is next to the old Pike Lake museum, and I can't remember a time where it was ever open. All I know is that all there is inside are taxidermied wildlife, like bugs, fish and local wildlife. It's a small-shack, so it's probably just a five-minute walk around the entire thing.

Marjorie nudges Skye, "I know something you'll like seeing during the walk."

"And what's that?" She crosses her arms and stares at the museum blankly.

"There's another abandoned building in those woods," Marjorie deepens her voice, sprawling her hands out and travelling up Skye's arms, like spiders climbing up a wall. "No one knows how it got there, and people say it's _haunted_."

Skye's back straightens, her eyes bubbling with sudden excitement. "Oh, really? I'll believe it when I see it."

As a kid, my older cousins always scare me, pushing me towards the abandoned cabin in the middle of the woods. It was horrifying for me, but looking back, we all have a good laugh about it. How naive and terrified I was of the unknown. I have this new appreciation for abandoned things—its history is something everyone can ponder about, the 'hows' and 'whys' of it being there. You only fear things you don't understand; you learn that as you grow older.

That makes me wonder about Skye if she had grown up too fast. She has this affinity for little, insignificant things that any average person would overlook otherwise. It's as if she appreciates these things because all her life, she had nothing to enjoy—not her home, her family. Just the things she encounters alone, all by herself in this small world. Perhaps her world before was even smaller than it is now.

The dirt trail isn't that narrow. There's enough space for three people to walk side by side. Quinn is surrounded by John and me, while Nick, Christie and Miguel are in front of us, leading the way. Lance, Julianna and Tagu are behind us, and behind them are the caboose of Skye, Marjorie and Thu Thu.

"Lance, could you reach into my pack and get the vest?" I turn my head half-way to look at him. "Just take my bag, actually."

He pulls it off me and starts digging inside the bag, feeling around the contents inside. He finds it quickly, and I pull off my shirt, then hurriedly conceal myself, putting the vest around me. I toss my shirt in the bag, and Lance tucks it against my back.

"Thanks."

Skye's POV

I whisper to Thu Thu, about how regretful I feel when seeing Andre and Quinn walk together. The two girls told me to ask her to switch, but I don't feel comfortable with that. Especially with the possible teasing and questions.

"No one's gonna bash you for wanting to walk with the guy you like," Thu Thu slows down her walking to put some needed distance between us and the others.

"No one knows I like him," I rub my bicep. "Except you two. And honestly, this whole 'feelings' thing is stressing me out. It _almost_ makes me as anxious as I do at home."

Thu Thu crosses her arms, then reaches out to pluck a leaf off a hanging branch. "You wish you could get rid of them, yeah? We've all been there."

As much as it pains me to agree with her, this 'crush' I have has gotten now where. Andre and I are good friends. He and the others are the greatest friends I've ever had. It's just the effort he's put in for me, what he and Marjorie's families have done for me. Just thinking of him makes me feel so... safe.

"I hate how humans can't just get rid of stupid feelings," I say, to cover up my real emotions. "It'd be so easy to just forget about them instantly. No drama."

Thu Thu shakes her head. Her eyes disagree with me completely, and she opens her mouth to speak before she crushes the leaf in her hand.

"You can't just get rid of feelings. We all have them, whether they're happy, sad, mad, anything!" She puts a hand on my stiff shoulder. "You just have them, and that's okay. You need them because that's how you make connections. If we were all just mindless, emotionless robots, then our lives wouldn't be worthwhile, no? Even feeling sad teaches you something."

I hold out a hand, a butterfly landing on it gently. It considers where it is and how it got there, its antennae and legs wriggly around, tickling my palm. "I guess you're right."

I think about a time where something negative has taught me something. I learned that parents are incapable of loving even their own child and that trust isn't worth it because people will find some way to break it.

The butterfly flutters its wings and leaves my hand. Maybe it saw my thoughts and didn't want anything to do with it. Much like my old friends. The thing they did to me—I wonder how long till my new friends do the same.

Marjorie puts an arm around me and holds me close, "All animals love you, huh? I wouldn't be surprised if birds started to land on your shoulders."

I shrug, "That butterfly didn't like me. If it did, it would've stayed longer."

"I'm sure it does; maybe it has some eggs to lay," Marjorie takes a sip of water and offers me some. I decline, and she puts the bottle back in the side pocket of her bag.

The rustling of the leaves calm my thoughts, and I stare ahead, finding Andre amidst the people blocking the view of him. Maybe he was worth keeping around—perhaps my thoughts came off as harsh on the others, too. They've given me the best few weeks of my life. But nothing lasts forever, and nothing lasts for me. That's how it's always been.

He's wearing his vest from yesterday, the one that he said his friend Dale gave him for the summer. I question why he chooses to wear that, considering it's a hot day, and a vest is supposed to keep him warm. Even with no shirt underneath, it wouldn't make sense to wear something like that.

Admittedly he does look good; I mean, the outfit looks cool. And he's kind of... yeah. He's kind of, yeah.

"Flirt with him," Thu Thu blurts; it almost causes me to lunge at her. "If you can't take our advice and confess to him, give him hints. Make him figure it out. He's dumb, but not that dumb."

"You know, confessing is hard-"

"Yes, yes, we've heard it," she shushes me, snickering. "We understand that struggle, so instead, we like tossing hints, flirts and bamboozles, so boys come to us. It'd work for you, too."

I step forward eagerly, but the anxiety numbs my fingers after my foot hits the ground again. I shyly jitter forward but can't bring myself to do it.

"Just call him cute," Marjorie suggests. "You've done it before, so it should be a good start. It won't make him sus. Just say: 'You're cute.'"

Nervousness gets the best of me, and I try to oppose them by stepping back in between them. "But I say it all the time. Wouldn't that be-"

"Don't _FUCKING_ ask questions!" Thu Thu vibrates up and down, pointing to the Nike logo on her tank-top. "JUST DO IT!"

I shake the numbness out of my fingers and approach the others, walking past the others who kindly let me through. My heart beats fast, but I have no reason to be nervous about something I've said before. He's heard me say it multiple times.

Marjorie's words repeat in my head, and I ready myself before tapping John's shoulder. "Switch?" He knows what I'm about to do.

"Mhm," I appreciate his instant offer. It saves us from the moment of awkwardness by asking. "Hey, Andre."

Andre's eyes light up at the sight of me, his lips curling. "Hi, Skye-With-An-E," he tilts his head slightly. "Quinn and I were just talking about the last time we saw the dunes. It's been years, so we'll feel as excited as you when you see them."

I shyly sway my body and chuckle, "Oh! That's nice. I'd be happy to share a moment like that with you."

Quinn leans forward to look at me, unbeknownst to Andre. She winks at me and mouths, 'good-job.' I have the support of his ex. It's all over now. All I need to say are the words.

"Awe, Skye," Andre's hand grazes over mine, and he retracts it almost instantly, almost startled that mine was there in the first place. "I'd love to share that, too."

Why am I panicking? I talk to him all the fucking time. I SHARED A BED WITH HIM, AND A TENT, AND KITCHEN UTENSILS. We make music together, why is it so hard now? What changed?

"Andre-" I stutter, but I've already gone too deep to quit now. "Did you know?"

He turns his head to me, grinning widely. "Hm?"

"I'm cute."

Andre raises an eyebrow, with a perplexed look on his face, "Well, it certainly is true." He raises two fingers and gently pokes my forehead.

What the fuck. What did I just do? He probably thinks I'm stupid, an idiot; what the fuck.

M.J. told me to tell him, 'you're cute.' And I actually fucking told him I was cute.

I pinch the bridge of my nose, then rub my forehead before looking down at the ground. May as well bury me right here.

"What's the matter, Skye?" Andre stops the flow of traffic for me, letting the others pass him

I play it off as if I'm doing just fine, "I'm good! Keep going; I gotta tie my shoe."

Andre giggles, "Silly thing. Do you want me to wait, or?"

"No! You've done enough; go relax with them," I sound a bit harsh, but I'm beyond embarrassed that I'd rather not see his face right now.

"Okay, Skye," He jogs up to the rest and finds his spot again. Jolo follows suit, hollering at Andre to wait up. The two reunite, and I feel a pair of hands lift me up on my feet. Marjorie beckons me to hurry so we don't get left behind and so we don't miss the abandoned cabin she had hyped up earlier.

I could hear Thu Thu snorting behind me. I glare at her and cross my arms.

"When M.J. told you to tell him—"

"Yes! I fucking realize that now!" My face heats up, and all I can think of doing is give myself a firm slap across the face. "FUCK!"

"KEEP IT DOWN," Thu Thu covers my mouth and massages my cheek. "We don't want Andre to figure out you're planning to flirt with him. With how subtle and amazing you are, you might convince him to marry you."

"Oh fuck off," I hate to admit it, but she did have a point. It's embarrassing enough that I told Andre I was cute. We don't need this to get any worse, even though it will inevitably get worse.

"Maybe you should just be straight forward," a bird chirps, interrupting her briefly. "See! Even little birdy up there agrees."

I roll my eyes. At this point, why not? I'm sure everyone around us heard what I had said, and I've practically buried myself already. By the end of this hike, I might ask Marjorie to bury me in the sand.

From what I see ahead of us, Nick slaps what looks to be a wooden sign. The wood on the corners of it is decayed, and one of the letters is smudged. I think it's supposed to read 'Sand Dunes Ahead! 2.5 km left!' No one seems to be letting up; two and a half kilometres is like 30 minutes worth of walking. I may be able to redeem myself after what I just did.

"The cabin is near," Marjorie eerily, stares ahead. Her blank stare is strange to see. She's always smiling, even when her face is neutral. "Maybe 20 minutes from here."

Perfect. That's enough time. "Thu Thu," I call. "I think..." As soon as I find it in myself to go through with it, my feet start to sink. My arms feel heavy, like I'm being held back from moving an inch further. I look down at my feet and see myself still walking at the same pace as before, up to par with the two next to me.

I'm dragging something behind me—my left leg starts to cramp up, so I stop, turn around and see nothing there. So what was holding me back?

"Calm down, Skye," Thu Thu supports my back, keeping my back straight as we continue walking. "You look like you're about to fall."

"I'm sorry," my head sways involuntarily, like a rock being swept up by the ocean. "My head's just... underwater."

She steps behind me, massaging my shoulders then running her hands through my hair to untangle some strands. Then she flattens it, pushing it up gently to thread through her hair tie.

"Find the happiest memory in your mind and calm down," Thu Thu finishes doing my hair. "You don't have to do it right now."

No, I can do it. I have too. If I don't do it now, I might miss my chance forever. What I hate the most about hearing those words leave Thu Thu's mouth is that they gave me relief, my heart feels relief, and I hate it.

I bit my lip, nodding shamefully. The walk now is quiet; only the ambient sounds of the woods are keeping me sane. I close my fist tightly, lagging behind Marjorie and Thu Thu, their figures growing farther and farther. To me, at least.

...

We somehow almost lose the rest of our friends until we notice them standing in front of a decrepit building among the shrubs and trees. The cabin looks like it'd been abandoned a long time, moss and vines growing on the edges of the round logs, engulfing the rotten wood in this tinted green. The roof looks unstable, ready to collapse at any minute. The porch is somehow still intact, with the overhang somehow seeming more stable than the roof. The front door is open ajar, and some windows are either boarded up or had pieces of shattered glass hanging off the frames.

There's a path leading to the cabin that's blocked off by the butt of a toppled, dead tree. Weeds protrude from cracks in the dirt trail.

Andre moves past everyone, grazing his hand over the blackened wooden beam of the porch. He puts his foot on the first wooden-step, his weight causing it to creak. Rays of sunlight seep through gaps in the trees' branches. The cabin's wooden planks and boards seem to be absorbing the light into nothing, barely reflecting light off even the glass.

He disappears into the porch and glances back at us, a sign of disturbance touching his face as if he feels something near him. He points to a rocking chair, entirely untouched, the material of it barely decayed. He sits down without questioning his actions, relaxing in the chair, rocking back and forth. The others stare at him confused, no one opposing what he just did, just reflecting on what was, and asking questions in their heads.

"From what I heard," Miguel starts. "This cabin was from the 1920s. It was a resting spot for those going through the woods in hopes of reaching Saskatoon. No one knows who the original builder was."

Julianna scoffs, "Don't they keep track of who builds stuff? Even back then?" She sounds skeptical yet amazed by the history of it.

I circle around to the side of the house, still in view of the others. I put a hand on the wood, wiping away any cobwebs and moss growing on it. I keep my hand there, breathing in the old wood and staring into the windows.

"They did," Miguel nods, taking a sip of water. He wipes his mouth. "But you gotta understand that before, it was harder for people to keep track of everything. The wooden planks look homemade. Even in the 20s, some factories processed lumber. But I doubt there were any near here."

The rocking of the chair causes the floorboards to creak as well. Andre gets up and disappearing from my angle of view. "We should go in," he says confidently. "Some cabins like this still have functional furnaces and canned food that's not expired."

"You planning on eating it?" Quinn smirks, crossing her arms.

He shakes his head. "No, of course not. It's decades-old - almost 100 years," I group up with the rest, watching him move to the other window. "I wonder why someone boarded up some of the windows, though."

"Maybe they were hiding from something," I peer at the group, their cold, pale faces growing more anxious. It's creepy how the sun barely shines on a particular area; maybe the trees grow differently around the cabin itself. "I'll go in with you."

His brown eyes glisten in the shade underneath the porch, with a beam of light spilling through a tiny hole from above.

Tagu snickers, walking to the dead tree and taking a seat. "That's how a horror movie starts, guys," she stretches her arms and back after removing her backpack. "Don't take long."

"Oh, c'mon," I start towards the stairs. "You know I'd be the most capable of protecting all of you from any ghosts or demons."

"Oh yes, let the tiny-red-headed girl throw her hands at some demons taller than her," John sits down next to Tagu's legs, playfully mocking me with faces. "And you wouldn't have anything to fight with. Unless?"

There's a brief moment of silence once I take Andre's side. He gestures with his head at the door, and hesitantly opens it.

"I'd protect all of you with my goth powers! Duh!" I shrug, peeking inside the cabin. "So, don't worry about anything."

Lance laughs at my joke, shaking his head, handing out granola bars from person to person. "We can depend on you, Skye. Be careful in there."

"If I die, remember to play that one song at my funeral," Andre quips, peering inside with me. "The one by the Backstreet Boys: 'I Want It That Way.'"

"Don't joke about that," Quinn uncharacteristically frowns at him. "You've always been like that, I'm afraid."

"Like what? You mean, awesome?"

I bring a palm to my face, pushing him through the door. "You're too much sometimes," I close the door, leaving it ajar—a beam of light spills through the crack.

"And you're literally a girl after my own heart, like what the fuck?" He annoyingly nudges my shoulder.

"Stop."

Even in the dark, I can still see his flustered face flushing red. I rub his back comfortingly, easing him forward through the house. "There's an upper floor," I point to the stairs, the steps neatly aligned at the end of the room. "I don't know if the steps are stable still. It might be dangerous."

He moves to the kitchen, kneeling on one knee to inspect the oven. The stovetop and oven have been slightly damaged, rust forming on the burners and the door handle of the oven. The countertops have shattered glass and debris on them and old kitchen utensils next to the rusty sink.

"You can get tetanus just by looking at this shit," Andre scoffs, standing up. "The table hasn't toppled over yet. Unlike the couch over there."

I glance to where he's looking, and the couch is missing its cushions and legs. The cabin smells of dust and old wood. Luckily for us, there's no animal feces, dead bodies, dead animals, or a wasp infestation. The cabin's scent is calming. I wonder how many people stepped foot in this house, relieved to find a temporary home or rest from long travels.

A creak in a corner behind me startles me, but it's only Andre opening a cabinet. He reaches in and pulls out a canned veggie and tomato soup. He furrows his eyebrows and scans the label.

"You think it's still good to eat?"

"Yeah, if you wanted to discover a new disease," I laugh, inspecting a painting on the wall closer. It's a painting depicting hills of sand and a man overlooking the spectacle on a grassy cliff. "Look, Andre. It's a painting of the sand dunes."

He waltzes over to me, the canned soup still in his hand. I scoot closer to him until our shoulders are pressed together. I twine my fingers with his. I shiver lightly, "For warmth."

His eyes don't move away from the painting. "It is getting kind of chilly in here," He puts the can on a nightstand that's perfectly stood against a wall. He reaches with his opposite hand and touches the painting, bringing his fingers together and rubbing the dust off. "It's pretty."

"You're pretty," I try to say as loud as possible.

"What was that?" Andre glances down at me, still snuggled against my shoulder.

I panic, heating rising to my face. "I said you're shitty."

Andre chuckles, thankfully, believing what I said was a joke. "I am shitty," he sighs. "But at the same time, I'm not."

I open my mouth to apologize. He interrupts me, dragging me to the corridor around the corner next to the stairs. There are three doors in the hallway, one on each side and one at the very end. The room on the left wall is the washroom, and the next two are bedrooms.

We venture down the hall, kicking away cobwebs or old toys we didn't want to trample. I reach down and take a mickey mouse doll, all ruffled up, and some stuffing coming out of it's left cheek. I let go of Andre's hand, collecting the stuffing and sticking it back into the doll. I dust it off and neatly sit it up against the wall on top of a lone stool away from all the furniture.

"All the rooms are picked clean," Andre says, exiting the farthest. "Not even mattresses or wardrobes. Just windows."

"And the washroom?"

"Just a sink and bathtub," He passes me, beckoning me up the perfect, sketchy stairs. "Yes, there is no toilet."

I giggle, "Who woulda thought some random person from then and now wanted a toilet so bad they stole one."

"It's very common, actually," Andre puts his arm through mine. "Don't ask how I know."

We walk up the stairs together, seeing an empty living area on the top floor. There are no couches, no nightstands or coffee tables, no toys, no deck of cards, no beds. Aside from another rocking chair facing a corner of the room, next to a boarded up window, the room is empty. Andre's grip on my arm tightens after he notices the chair.

I stroke his arm to soothe his irrational fears and kind of move forward for him to keep walking. He hesitates but maintains keeping up with my own moving. I lead him to the window that overlooks the front of the cabin. Our friends are still there, on their phones—which I wonder why there is no reception out here—or talking casually.

"Hey!" Andre hollers, all of their heads sharply turning after finding the source of the sound. They look like deer in headlights, so startled that they heard their own friend speaking. "It's cozy in here!"

"Oh yeah?" John's expression eases back to normal. "Why don't you two move in together then? If it's so cozy."

"Maybe we will! It would just require some slight-" he glances behind him, biting his lip at the crusty floors and tiny holes in the ceiling. "-Slight renovation, but it's doable!"

A creak in the floorboards makes us both jump, Andre grabbing onto me in a panic. He looks around and points to the rocking chair, swaying back and forth. It's as if someone or something took a seat, watching the wall.

I wrap my arms around him, too, looking around for clues to see if the rocking was caused by the wind or a rat or something. I find Andre's eyes, and he mouths to me to 'get out, now.'

I nod, still grappling onto his arms and slowly starting towards the stairs, our eyes not moving away from the swaying chair.

Once our feet touch the first step down, we let each other go and run to the door. We barge out, almost tripping each other as our feet hit the porch's wooden floorboards. I close the door and let out a sigh of relief before a smile that I couldn't resist slips out of me.

Andre laughs, panting at the same time, staring at me with the same relief. "I really hope that ghost doesn't follow us home."

"Suit yourself," I stroke his arm. "I'd love for that ghost to follow me home. It could torment my family."

Julianna and Lance help us get off the porch, snickering. "What did you guys see in there?" Lance asks, handing Andre his bag back.

"A rocking chair on the upper floor."

"Don't say anymore," Julianna stops him. "Y'all bouta give me some nightmares."

I tilt my head, "It only rocked back and forth. And it was facing the wall too!"

"You sound disturbingly excited about what we just went through," Andre drinks water, tossing me a bottle. "I ain't ever experience something like that."

"That memory will always be with me, now," I tell him, meeting back up with Thu Thu and M.J. "Just pray it follows me home instead of you."

He shakes his head, examining my face with a grin. His eyes gleam with happiness, "Whatever you say, Skye-With-An-E."

Nick calls for Lance, Julianna and Andre to hurry, and he begins walking forward beside Christie and Miguel once again. Marjorie and Thu Thu stop me, attempting to guarantee we were the caboose again.

I overhear John teasing Andre about being in there with me and getting scared of the wind.

"It wasn't the wind, bro," He argues, raising his right hand and puts a hand on his heart. "You can ask Skye later; there was no wind. The window beside it was boarded up. And it's not windy today, so you can't even argue it's the wind."

Majorie smirks, giving me a suspicious look. My cheeks swell, and I rub my arm, refusing to look at her.

"Did you do it?" She asks teasingly as well.

"No."

She crosses her arms, "What did that cost?"

"Well, it almost cost Andre a hospital visit. Guy could've gotten a heart attack," I laugh. "We didn't say much to each other. We just... held onto one another while we explored the cabin."

I expect the teasing coming my way in waves from the two girls. Instead, they rub my shoulder, telling me good-job, and encouraging me to keep it up. Marjorie mentions that I'd be amazed once I see the dunes. My expectations were considerably low—it's better to be proven wrong than be disappointed.s

We're ten minutes away from them, and Tagu once told me that it's one of the most unusual pieces of land in all of Canada. It wasn't considered a desert, but if you were to stand in the middle of it, she said that from north to south, east to west, all you'd see is sand and dry vegetation with a part of the lake in the east. The only desert in Canada was in British Columbia near Kelowna.

The trees are becoming scarce, like the forest is shrinking the more we walk on this path. Thu Thu and Marjorie had dragged me near the second last group of three, so we didn't do much talking. Or I didn't. I kept to myself.

"We're here," Nick makes space around the end of the trail, our group lined up on a tiny ledge overlooking the beautiful spectacle.

My mouth slowly starts to gape open, and my eyes refuse to blink. I inhale the scent of green trees and bushes briefly before moving ahead of the others to gaze at the tall and large mound of sand. I fall to my knees, letting the fine grains of sand fall out of the tiny gaps of my closed fingers.

John cheers, dragging the other boys with him on the climb to the top. Funnily enough, once they got up a quarter of the way, they began to slip and fall and slide down the dune, laughing and smiling at their mistakes. Hearing the laughter warms my heart, and hearing that for the last couple of days despite my emotions getting the better of me, feels so weird.

There hadn't been any stretch of days where I felt happy like this. There'd always be a drawback —like getting beat up, kicked out, left in the rain, pushed around—but these last four days have been the happiest I've ever been.

Getting kicked out isn't much better. The anxiety of getting caught in a Wal-Mart shelf or being followed by people on dark streets isn't much better than being with my family. But sometimes, I tolerated it because at least I wouldn't have to worry about the constant pain, the constant yelling, the stress I would've had to go through at home.

Camping with these new friends of mine was the best thing that's ever happened in my life. I+f I could live like this every day without consequences, I'd convince them to do it with me.

The girls attempt to climb now and hold onto each other for dear life onto some of the boys as they traverse up the hill, arms linked and supporting each other. Just like a family should.

"The lake is gonna look so small from up there," Quinn pants, her legs trembling and almost giving in until John and Andre hold her steady from either side. "Where's Skye- SKYE! SKYE!"

I wave at Quinn, "Hi."

"Come here now! We need more bodies to get us up the mound!" She struggles with her words, and I sigh, standing up and trudging up the slippery sad. I manage to get to them, already panting. "I didn't know I was so unfit, Jesus Christ."

"Don't be so modest. The walk was long," Quinn chuckles, sweat dripping from her forehead. "And you did have to do some running away from a ghost."

I get in between her and John and my arms around their shoulders. "Pfft, none of you had the guts to go in there with Andre."

John scrunches his nose, "Nope, we just wanted you two to have some alone time."

"I'll let go of you right now."

"NO! You'll bring everyone down with you!" John giggles. "Okay, everyone. On three."

I turn my head from side to side to see the eagerness and determination in everybody's eyes. We all exchange a nod before we begin the count down.

_"3... 2... 1... GO!"_

Groans and chuckles bounce around among us, the hill seeming to get steeper with every step. My legs shake as I'm nearly dragging John and Quinn up the hill. I beckon at them to push forward and to keep their heads up. The goal is just an arm's reach away.

The relief of unlinking arms and falling down into the soft sand makes me feel like celebrating. I notice soon that it's only me who had fallen down. I look up at everyone staring out into the opposite side of the hill.

Andre peers down at me, grappling onto my arm and pulling me up. He dusts my back off and my shoulders, then point to the shimmering lake beyond the dune we stand on.

I hold his hand once again, tightening my grip on it, promising to myself to keep this memory forever in my heart.


	42. everything i wanted

Camping: Day 4  
3:33 p.m.  
July 25, 2019

Skye's POV

"What the hell happened? Thu Thu told me Quinn was taking Andre to the nurse's office," Julianna takes the sack of firewood off my shoulder and tosses it onto the floor. "Skye?"

I bite my lip, half-guilty, half-embarrassed about what had happened. Andre and I were tasked to get firewood at a designated campsite full of it. He also brought a knife with him, explaining that any loose branches hanging from trees are allowed to be collected. 

"I accidentally stabbed him in the leg," I lean against a tree, unable to bring myself to look at Julianna.

She doesn't reply, but I can sense her disappointed eyes on me. "I... I'm more confused about how that happened," her voice softens.

"Ah, I was trying to help him get loose branches off some trees," I explain. "But the knife slipped, and it swung into his thigh."

Julianna shakes her head, taking my side. "You two learn about knife safety?"

"Of course. It's common sense, but he didn't react in time," I rub my head. "It was my fault, though. The problem got even worse when I couldn't decide whether to say, 'I'm so fucking sorry,' or 'are you fucking okay?'"

"That was your concern?"

"No! I panicked!" I drop my arms to my sides and slouch. "I panicked real bad and yelled 'are you fucking sorry?' instead. I've never seen a boy look so scared."

Julianna bursts out laughing, holding her stomach in pain. "Oh, God! That's- That's too funny to get worried over!"

I rub my arm, "Hopefully, I didn't hurt him that bad."

She rubs my shoulder, soothingly, "As strong as you are, I don't think you'd let yourself hurt him that bad."She must have noticed the embarrassment and guilt on my face. "Just say sorry this time. Don't take too long to think of what to say. You coulda been the one who had taken him to that office."

If only she knew the full extent of my anxiety. The overthinking gets so bad sometimes, and I'm glad this wasn't the worst it's gotten. I don't know what's worse. The fact that I may have inflicted the most physical pain on him. Or knowing my words inflicted psychological distress because of my indecisiveness.

Julianna tells me she has to meet Lance, Nick, and Thu Thu at the volleyball pits just past the playground near the parking lot. Thu Thu had brought her volleyball, and we were all planning to play later this evening during sunset, which is getting nearer as the day goes on.

The others are again scattered around the park as well. Tagu and John are on a walk with Miguel and Christie at the farther campsites beyond the parking lot by the playground. They wanted to explore more of the national park, telling us that they've never touched all corners of the park out of all the years they'd been here. I doubt they can reach all corners, but I'm happy that they're spending time with each other. 

I can't believe it's our last night here. Am I crazy? Or did these four days feel like a couple of months stretched out? I've learned more these four days than I did before July. And I'm thankful I got to experience some nature, do things I never thought I would do and see sights I never thought Saskatchewan had.

The situation I'm in still restricts the things I can do, say and think, but here, I feel free. I feel like I've gotten everything I wanted—a normal life with good friends. Now, I have the opportunity to speak and think my mind and talk to people I trust about those problems. I was so scared of it before, but now, it's alright. Everything feels alright.

I just wish I was at the nurse's office with him. There are so many wishes I have right now that I feel ashamed for being so greedy after I've only scratched the surface of normality. 

The sounds of people resonate in my ears as I walk throughout the park, drowning in my thoughts. Laughing and crying and talking sounds so similar to my friends. I'm still in awe of how I've gotten to this point after seemingly having nothing all my life. How life had teased me with this melancholy feeling, and now that I have it, I'm scared of losing it. I've lost so many things; ever since I was a child, I've lost and lost and lost. But somehow, this tiny insignificant thing I accidentally stumbled upon seems so important now, even though I'll lose it eventually.

When I first agreed to hang out with Marjorie and her friends, I almost instantly called her back and told her I couldn't go. I would have blocked her number, too. I hate how fast I was to regretting giving my phone number to her, but now, I'm thankful I made that mistake—or what I thought was a mistake.

They were right about it. Making mistakes teaches you more; even when you're born into a life so good and hopeful as them, they still go through their issues, whether they were familial or personal. Unfortunately, I had both; I had domestic issues that turned into personal issues. I have bruises on my body and scars on my heart that I know will always stay with me—my battle scars.

That's why it was so hard to do this with others. To talk to others about me, because how would I trust they would understand? They never had to go through what I went through, so how could anyone understand? Those people at Holy Cross proved that much, but how ignorant I was. Somehow, I was wrong. 

I'm still falling from this leap of faith, waiting to hit the ground hard, breaking more than I am already. The question is whether my friends would fix me, would support me and be in my corner.

I walk on the sidewalk next to the beach and squint at the evening sun. I'm supposed to go to the volleyball pits soon, but I'd rather stay here now. Alone, staring at the sun. The sun who's been my friend forever.

I move away from the people on the beach with their families and friends, watching the evening sun or taking a final dip into the lake's water. I sit down on the sand, curl my knees and hug them as I glance briefly at the shimmering water in front of me. Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to drown. I almost did, and it was the scariest experience of my life.

Part of me wishes that Brian didn't help me that day.

Something hot touches my face and reaching up to touch my cheek, I realize I'd been crying this entire time. Overwhelmed by my life, then and now. In my mind, the past and present and future crashed into each other head-on. I'm starting to realize that letting them crash would only lead to more problems. If I let them go their own ways, I'd be okay.

How hard that is. It's hard to tell the past to be the past and tell it to travel backwards. It's made me into something so horrible today that I regret I couldn't have been stronger. The present forces me to live in the moment, yet I can't live in the moment because of how bad the past just fucks with my head. I can't let it go. And the future wants to get my attention, wants me to see my potential. Too bad I can't see it. 

I wonder how others see my potential if there is any. Mainly, my friends have cared so deeply for me in just a short amount of time. It's funny how short life is and how time drags on to make it seem like it's forever. But time is finite.

I unhook my bracelet and necklace, temporarily breaking my promise. I let the tears fall even harder, knowing there's no point in trying to stop them. They leave wet patches of sand around me, forcing me into a bubble. I care about him so much that taking these off hurts. 

The question that refuses to leave my head is the question of my feelings for Andre. That agreement we made that night, to stay friends despite his then obvious, confessed feelings, reinforces the belief in myself that I am incompatible and incapable of being with anyone.

My life would drag anyone down who dare try helping me. I'm slowly drowning everyone in my problems, and I hate it. I am so scared of losing, yet I'm still here, trying to make everything work for myself. That greed, those good emotions, is something I want forever. I wonder if forever is the only thing holding me back from wanting him, that insecurity of losing. I want him, although it could be too reckless to act on it.

Maybe we won't end up together, and we stay friends; however, that little voice in my head nagging me, telling me that I should go for it. Thu Thu's voice rings with that voice, too. It's so hard for me to listen to her. I acknowledge she's right, though the thought of it freezes me up.

I left my phone back in Saskatoon to prevent the anxiety to ruin such a fantastic experience. Ironically, it still followed me, but not for the reasons I predicted.

"I knew you'd be here," Marjorie startles me. "And I checked the alcove. I'm surprised you didn't go there instead."

I try to cover up the wet patches of sand and rub away the stale tears in my eyes. "It would've been too obvious if I went there. I wanted to be alone."

"You feel bad bout stabbing his leg still?"

"Of course! Of course, M.J."

"No need to be sarcastic," she crosses her arms. "He told me he wasn't scared of what you said. He went into shock and decided to fly instead of fight. Or, try to calm down. Still, I don't blame him. I've never been stabbed, and I'm not planning, too."

I still could not understand the full extent of his empathy. The understanding and trust he has in me are even more so than his friends. The ones who've been with him for as long as he could remember. I guess the damage done to him in his grade 10 and 11 years resonates with him now, and trusting new people is easier than trusting the ones that pushed him too much.

"He has to rest his leg every now and then today and tomorrow. But the nurse told him to walk light distances to exercise the muscle punctured," Marjorie sits down, her shoulder barely grazing mine. "Or at least that's what Quinn claims the nurse said."

The relief of knowing that the others are pre-occupied with volleyball meant that Marjorie would be the only one here. I'm okay talking to her, but I think I've made clear I needed some quiet time.

I stand up, holding out a hand in front of me. "Stay here. I need... I need some more time," I say. "To think. And walk."

Marjorie respectfully nods and stares ahead at the setting sun. By now, people are leaving the beach. The purple colours of the twilight sky always seemed to stir the crowd away—telling that it was time to go. But not me, this time of day will always be my favourite kind. The time of day when it's almost over. It doesn't care about how your day went; it won't restart or turn back time for you. The day is nearly done. That means the peace and salvation of night will protect me.

I peer up from time to time, making sure I won't trip over any kids or people that I can't see.

I look up, and my legs stop moving, frozen again at the sight of him. 

Andre has the same posture I do, back slouched, head down and thinking. The only difference is he's limping, and he hasn't noticed me. I try moving forward, only my foot is stuck to the ground as if something from below the sand refuses to let me move, holding me in place like the thoughts that hold me back


	43. when the party's over

_Camping: Day 4_   
_6:37 p.m._   
_July 25, 2019_

Marjorie's POV

I lag behind Skye, following her at a distance. Andre hasn't lifted his head; I guess because he has to watch where he's going while he limps closer to a suitable spot.

Skye froze up, so I pick up the pace of my walking, hoping that Andre gets to her before I do.

Unfortunately, I get to Skye first, lightly pushing her forward. I whisper in her ear to go, and she walks, walks confidently until she reaches him. One of her hands reaches up and touches his face. Now he had she noticed her.

Andre's eyes soften, and the stiffness in his legs disappears. The moment he saw her, his body and mind relaxed.

"How straightforward of you," He leans into her touch, reaching up to hold her hand against his cheek. "You have a mean swing, by the way."

Skye drops her hand, closing her eyes. "I'm sorry," From her body language, I know she's been calmed down. "What'd they do?"

Andre tilts his head, confused. He realizes what she meant and embarrassingly stutters, shaking his head, trying to find his words.

"The nurse just cleaned the wound and stitched it up," He says, solemnly lifting her chin. "Don't look so sad, Skye. The scar is gonna look really cool."

She sighs, "Still hate that I hurt you."

"Oh, c'mon. I know it was an accident," Andre reassures her, glancing at the red sun almost set below the horizon. "Sit down. Let's watch the sun before it goes to bed."

They sit down together, and I sit next to Andre, saying hello to him before we all stare out into the distance.

"It's just the three of us, again," Andre puts his arms around both of us. "Or the others, but you two are my favourite girls ever. Aside from my mom and _nanay_ , of course."

I glance over at Skye, smiling. I know she tries really hard to stifle her bright smile, but her teeth shine as she finds my eyes, too. Her black lips shimmer slightly, her hand rubbing Andre's back comfortingly.

"John told me what happened," I look over at Andre this time. He refuses to return the gaze. "About this morning."

Skye confusedly stares at us, trying to scan our faces to figure out what happened.

"It was nothing," Andre lets himself fall back into the sand, bringing his hands behind his head. "Just had too much to drink."

"You didn't drink that much," Skye concernedly hovers over his face. "Unless?"

He closes his eyes, exhaling sharply. "I snuck in some drinks into the tent and drank while you were asleep," he confesses, his voice shaking. He sounds ashamed. "I just needed to get my mind off things. I didn't want to risk another—"

Andre hesitates, stopping himself and biting his lip. "Don't worry about it."

Skye had told me on the walk back from the dunes that Andre woke up panting two nights ago. She described it as him nearly drowning, soaked in his own sweat. But before she could get up and help, he got up and left the tent. She didn't tell me what she did after.

"I'll worry about it if I want," Skye's stubbornness rings in her voice. "And—"

She stops, rubs her bicep and gulps. "And I care about you. So, please tell me. Do it for M.J. and me."

Andre sighs, keeping his eyes closed and letting the last ray of sunlight touch his face warmly. He sits up, straightening his back and rubbing his nose. "I've had this reoccurring nightmare. It started happening when the summer started, after my first anxiety attack," he catches his breath, picking at his lips with his teeth anxiously. He suddenly looks over at us. "I remember the nightmare vividly. I can describe every detail as much as I hate to admit it."

Skye lays down next to him, her hair sprawling out into the sand carelessly. She rests her hands on her stomach. I step over the two and plop down right next to her, snuggling up against her shoulder.

"Take your time, Andre," I reassure him, resting my head on my hands as well.

His breathing staggers, and he sucks in his breath before regulating his breathing.

He silently stares into the sun, seeing it set and giving way to the stars in the ever-expanding night sky. His eyes are heavy and dry, tired of everything that's happened. Right now, he has no tears left to cry.

It's funny how the happiest people, who've had a normal, happy life can still end up like this. Sad, afraid, and in pain. He could care less about Indigo—even though I know he still cares for her as a person—he doesn't have any feelings for her. He's stated before that wasting his time on something so toxic, so unworthy of the type of person he is, is worthless. The only problem is the psychological and physical pain he had to experience simultaneously—a broken arm for six weeks, causing a permanent curve in his left arm. And the pain of being cheated on, being set aside because someone else deemed him not good enough.

Andre's POV

_I awoke standing up. Confused, I let my eyes wander around the room that was all too familiar to me. I was here._

_To my left, she was standing there. Indigo, who had shattered my heart two months ago, was right there. That same gut-wrenching feeling in my stomach formed slowly, and the fear of reliving this moment again consumed me._

_In the blink of an eye, the fight repeats. I had no control as if I was just sitting back to watch. I was talking; I could feel myself talking and moving. I could hear her talking and walking. I felt my face hot with tears, even though I didn't cry in front of her initially._

_The door slammed, but it seemed to have hit me harder than what happened in real life. My finger appeared to be more twisted and broken than before too. My eyes were shut tight, and as I opened them, my environment was different. It still felt cold and hateful just as before, only this time I was in my backyard sitting against my deck._

_I had no control once again; I felt pinned down on the grass despite being restrained. An unseen force secured me in the grass. I threw my head back, and upon looking straight ahead towards the back gate leading into the field, my friends were lined up in a line facing away from me._

_The sky was abnormally pitch black, no stars, no moon; I was surprised I could see so clearly._

_'Guys,' I mouthed, only to be met with the terrible realization that I had lost my voice. The more I tried to talk, the harder it was to breathe. I felt like I was drowning._

_One by one, my friends entered the field._

_'Don't leave me! Please!' I felt distressed and in danger. I still couldn't speak; only air came out as my mouth moved frantically to call them. They were gone._

_Only one remained: Skye._

_She turned back to look at me. She stared at me with a blank expression. Her eyes looked lifeless and colourless_ — _there is no emotion there. It scared me to the core, but it was Skye; I couldn't be afraid of Skye. She shook her head as she began to say something inaudible to me. It sounded like a faint whisper, a jumble of words I could not understand._

_'No! Don't leave me, too. You're all I have left,' I utter with a raspy, low voice. She didn't hear me. She couldn't._

_The realization that my voice was gone, along with my words, stirs a panic within me. My stomach churns, the fear clouding my thoughts, eating me up from the inside._

_'Skye! Please!'_

_I begged and begged, only to have the same feeling of air coming out, but no voice. My throat instantly inflates as if it were swelling. It was similar to a sore throat, but one-hundred times more painful; I almost thought there was a blockage in my throat. It was essentially a balloon in my throat; it became harder to breathe and was even more painful to try talking._

_She disturbingly began to walk away. Once leaving my sight, the gate slammed shut. My face was sticky and warm as tears fell from my eyes. It stung like hell, and I still couldn't move. I am indefinitely stuck._

_In one single moment, I felt my legs sinking, swallowed by the ground. To my horror, I fell faster and faster into an abyss of endless space; only there were no stars, just absolute nothingness. I was neck-deep, my heart racing in fear and confusion. I closed my eyes and braced myself._

_I was in this place, just floating. It was dead space, all black; I couldn't even see my own hands. I was sinking and sinking; no one could hear me scream. I accepted my fate and closed my eyes. I'd see them soon._

_Instantaneously, a loud, ear-piercing ring overtook my body. My whole body became so sensitive to hearing that ringing sound. I just kept sinking. My heartbeat hastened, and soon, my chest was engulfed in a sharp, excruciating pain I couldn't comprehend._

_A massive flash of light blinded me, and in a matter of seconds, I saw the memories of last year leading up to now. The only thing I remember seeing was my friends hugging me, only Skye wasn't there with them. I realized that I was watching a repeat of them leaving me as they all walked into the field. All at once, the massive flash of light came back and consumed me._

_..._

"I drink heavily to stop the nightmares," I gulp, rubbing my upper lip. "I get so drunk to the point where I can't see, or walk, or talk. I'm sorry you guys had to see me that one day. I don't want to make anyone worry like that again. I've been quiet for that reason."

I'm afraid, one of these days, my friends would leave me too, exactly how the dream ends up. I was fearful that they would abandon me and find new people. My fear throughout high school was losing my girlfriend—which happened—and losing my friends. Since my first fear came true, my second would only come sooner. I wanted to deny it, but it was inevitable, right?

I decided to prolong the agony instead of breaking it off with them right now, because like I said, every moment spent with my friends would be spent like the last. I cherished those memories once I got home from those countless hangouts and move on from them the best I could. Unfortunately, I wasn't the type to move on. I would cherish those experiences, but I would never move on. They'll always be in my heart, teaching me.

I guess I'm a sore loser. Complaining to myself about losing, being scared of losing, my life would be a whole lotta loss. At least I'd have my blood-family to look to, but putting my problems on them would hurt them more than me. Sometimes being alone makes it less painful or prevents pain from happening to those close around you. It spreads like fire in a forest; you'll affect someone and set off a chain reaction.

The only thing that never leaves me alone in nature. The trees, the animals, the clouds, the sun, the sky and especially the stars. Although the stars are millions of years old and are just flashes of light reaching the Earth, they can at least be mesmerized, worshiped, and gazed upon every night. They'll light people's way in the darkness and will be remembered for that very reason.

"You know how dangerous that is, right?" Skye's words bounce in my ears, my stomach spinning in guilt.

I nod, "It's so easy, though," I try to justify my actions, but even I know they're unjustifiable. "My happy pills don't do shit for me, either. I find myself drinking them with alcohol."

Skye's hands start to shake, her eyebrows furrowing. "That still isn't okay! You could get seriously hurt!"

"Andre, have you forgotten who we were? You can come to any one of us and tell us about your nightmares. Call us, text us, we'll wake up knowing you're in need," Marjorie comforts me, which warms my heart to an extent.

I gaze up at the stars, appearing one-by-one with their own little twinkles. "I'll be honest with you two right now," I sit upright, stretching my fingers out. "I force a smile every day for you guys, and I've gotten so good at faking it, even Julianna hasn't noticed."

Skye's expression distorts, her sad eyes studying me closely. "Have you ever smiled at me—no, us, genuinely?"

"Of course I have," A look of relief falls on her face. "It's just those certain days, I have to force it out. And it works every time."

"But why? The nightmare is one thing, but after spending a good day with us, would you still feel this way?" Marjorie asks patiently.

I quickly glance at her, "Yes. But I'd always be happy hanging out with you guys. It's what happens after. That's when the fear comes back, the fear of losing all of you."

Marjorie sits up now, crawling over to me and hugging me tightly. I reluctantly raise my arms and fall into her embrace. "Thank you, Marjorie."

"You won't lose us, okay?" She rests her cheek on the side of my neck, shifting her head in Skye's direction. "Skye?"

"He won't lose us," Skye stutters, but I know she's honest and authentic with her words. Her stutter means nothing. "I've lost all my life. And I'll tell you right now, you have more to lose than I do. So please be strong for us, stay with us."

"You know, insomnia and nightmares suck," I rub her back. "But there's always something worth fighting for every day. My fight is for you guys. And if I lose the fight, then what kind of friend am I?"

She pulls away from the hug, sitting next to me and leaning her head on my shoulder. "You won't lose that fight either," she says. "But you forget there's strength in numbers. Don't fight the world alone, especially when you have us."

"I don't wanna burden you guys with my fights."

"You aren't burdening us, Andre," Marjorie raises her voice, catching me off guard with her seriousness. "It's our fault! We didn't check up on you, or—"

She stutters, but I shush her sharply. She promptly stops talking, nodding at me to continue talking.

"M.J., you know what happened last year, right? With the guys?"

Guilt clouds her eyes, and I can't help but think I put those clouds there. "Is that why you're so reluctant?"

"Yes," I gulp. "When I drink, I forget about that time too. That temporary suppression sets me free. But I'm starting to notice I've been drinking more and more. It's like my body is getting used to it."

I pick at my lips again. "But no matter what happens to me, no matter what changes I go through, just remember my morals and love for things in life won't ever change. I'll still smile every day and try my best to make you all smile. That's just who I am. And I'll always love myself."

Skye's POV

He speaks as if each word is ripping him apart. The smile he gives us doesn't match his eyes, and I could tell by his eyes that the pain still lingered.

"Do you wanna know something about me, Andre?" My voice cracks. "The night I bumped my head, I woke up and saw the pills you guys left for me on your dresser. I thought about taking all of them."

Marjorie's eyes widen and begin to water, attempting to shield her face. She hums quietly, her lips quivering. She fixes her gaze onto me.

I pity her, having to hear and see her two friends go through their various mental issues and feeling powerless at the moment. Her being here already makes me feel less lonely, and I assume Andre loves having Marjorie around.

"But I didn't take those pills," I continue, dusting the sand off my hair. "And a few days later, I flushed my razorblade. That doesn't mean those suicidal thoughts went away, but they were neutralized because of all of you, and especially you two."

Marjorie settles herself in between us, putting her arms around us and pulling us in tightly. We hug her back, our heads touching in the huddle.

"The way all of you treat me like family, and the fact that I actually feel how much everyone does care gives me no reason to have thoughts like that again. I have what I wanted," I swallow the lump in my throat, closing my eyes. "That doesn't mean they won't come back, but that does mean I'd get better at stopping them from happening because now I have something worth living for."

We stayed in that position, hugging each other for God knows how long. None of us cried surprisingly; we just silently kept the embrace going for as long as possible before it got too dark. Surprisingly, the pain goes away as quickly as it came.

Dinner is quiet today. Andre and John cooking a fish they snatched along the shoreline of the dunes. Nick was too lazy to fillet the fish, so Andre just scaled it, seasoned its insides and outside, including its head. It's roasting on the fire now.

Even with dinner being given soon, everyone is snacking on the extra snacks they brought at the beginning of the trip. There's some light chatter but mainly quiet and still. Thu Thu and Marjorie sit next to me, on their phones scrolling through Instagram. I reach in and snatch a ketchup chip from Marjorie's bag. She hands them to me.

"Go ahead," she offers with a smile. "Appetizers."

"I only want a few, M.J," I tell her, taking another chip.

She insists, putting them onto my lap. "You're in the middle; it's fine. We don't have to keep passing the bag around if you keep it."

I oblige after a few more moments of argument and eat slowly. Lance and Julianna are roasting hot dogs over the fire. We'd run out of burgers last night, apparently, but not hot dogs. I guess they brought a lot.

John hands out plates and utensils to everyone. The air around him is unusually calm, notably for someone like him. He sits on the floor next to my leg, holding his plate patiently.

"There's no rice, by the way," He informs me. "Hope that's okay. You've been eating a lot lately, which is good."

I shrug, leaning back into the chair. "Yeah, I haven't eaten this much at all," I reply, rubbing away the stinging in my eyes. "We started dinner late, too. I don't think I'd wanna eat that much anyway."

Yup, that's my excuse. I don't have the appetite to eat because I've finally decided to do it later; confess my true feelings to Andre. The last few times have been missed opportunities, and this entire trip could've ended up better than it already was if Andre and I both were in the know.

It's better late than never, just as long as you're not too late. His words cut deep, so deep that I can't leave him alone anymore.

I've also realized that my ill-feelings towards Quinn can only simmer down if I make peace with myself by doing what I should've done a long time ago.

I'm quiet at the bonfire, the others laughing about the volleyball game Marjorie, Andre, and I missed to talk on the beach and stargaze for the last time on this trip.

Marjorie had told Thu Thu what had happened on the beach and understood why we had to miss the game. She was proud of me for doing my best to comfort him and do my best, letting out what I felt as well.

What I felt on that beach will always remind me that anything can be possible if you let it be possible. What held me back was the insecurity of not being good enough to even like Andre, but in reality, it's what I need to do to move on and grow as a person. Whatever happens, I know we'll stay good friends at the end of it, maybe even more. Doing something difficult for different individuals will always cause growth. It's still hard to believe that I'm progressing in somewhat of a normal life. To progress even further means getting a little uncomfortable.

I'm assuming Andre told John and Lance, probably only little tidbits, though.

Dinner ends, and Andre takes out the trash bag, putting it into the silver trash bin in front of the campsite.

"Are you really gonna do it this time?" Thu Thu asks inaudibly. "Can we eavesdrop?"

"You two have zero boundaries," I say bluntly, fighting a grin. "No, you cannot eavesdrop. It's supposed to be a private moment."

Marjorie smirks, "No hanky-panky, missy. Thin walls."

I slap her shoulder, this time letting out a giggle, "Oh, save it."

Everyone got into bed early tonight. We'd all have to do the rest of the packing tomorrow morning and be out of Pike Lake by noon. It's only 11 right now.

I wait for Marjorie and Thu Thu to crawl inside their tents before going inside ours. Before I take off my shoes, I turn around and find Andre, the fire's light slightly brightening half his face.

"Andre, let's sleep a bit later tonight."

His eyes are confused at first, "We have to wake up at eight tomorrow."

"It's important we talk," I sound a bit desperate but keep my composure. "We might not have a chance after tonight."

Andre scans me up and down, his eyes gleaming in the fire's light. "Alright, Goth Queen. We'll talk."

I'm barely scratching the surface. That's the hardest thing I had to do, and it's only getting more challenging now. Andre zips the tent closed behind him and takes a seat against his bags at the foot of his mattress. I set myself down across at the top of the mattress.

Time moves slowly around me, and all I can hear right now is my heart pounding hard at my chest.

"Before I say anything, I wanna do this partly because the girls encouraged it," I admit, glancing away from Andre. "And also, I overheard you and Quinn two nights ago."

"You did?" He shyly stumbles his words. "When-"

"When you went stargazing," I stare at him guiltily, finding his eyes quickly in the dark. "And I'm sorry for being such an eavesdropper and sorry for-"

Andre covers my mouth, chuckling softly. His breath glides across my cheek, causing shivers to run down my arms and spine. "You don't need to be sorry, Skye. Did you go looking for me? I didn't want to wake you, so I just left."

His face shifts, realizing that I had seen him in the aftermath of his nightmare two nights ago.

"Mhm, I did," I rub my bicep, flustered. "And I appreciate that."

He pokes my forehead, "Good. Now tell me why you needed to talk to me," he reassures me, smiling.

I shiver again, my jaw jittering trying to find my words. It suddenly gets cold inside the tent, my hands going numb, but I stand my ground and look him in the eye.

"I overheard your conversation about me and how you were afraid of feeling that false hope again," I gulp. "Don't think I'm doing this out of pity, because honestly, I'm pitying myself for not doing this much earlier."

Andre snickers, sucking in lips.

"What? What's funny?" I panic, shaking his shoulder.

"Skye, I knew the whole time! I just wanted to hear it come from you directly."

"I didn't even say anything!" I embarrassingly shield my face with a hand. "If you knew, why didn't you say anything?"

He sighs, staring dazedly at me. "I always thought I was just giving myself a false sense of hope. I didn't want the truth unless it came from you."

We sit silently for a moment, occasionally looking into each other's eyes. I'm surprised it hasn't gotten awkward yet, but I can sense his emotions. They're the same as mine; nervous and excited.

"I wanted to tell you all day, y'know?" My heartbeat quickens, a rush coursing through every inch of my body. "I've wanted to tell you since Tuesday.

He still doesn't seem surprised, only gazing at me with those starry eyes, "I caught on. Thu Thu was pressuring you to tell me, wasn't she?"

"Not really. I told her I wanted to tell you."

Andre's cheeks light up the tent, "I'm glad you were so brave, or else it would've eaten me up."

"You taught me how to take leaps, so I took one," I reach out to hold his hand. "Just dive right in there, right?"

Andre squeezes my hand gently with a weary face. "Right."

"If I'm honest, I started liking you after our first slow dance," I confess loudly, all that weight finally rising from my chest.

"Like I said, I knew, Skye," He brushes his lips against my hand, lingering for a few seconds before lifting his head. "You weren't subtle at all about how you felt; I just needed a legit confession."

I huff, the familiar warmness in my chest distributing itself throughout my body, "Andre, you weren't subtle either."

How can he say that after all he's done? I mean, I made it obvious, too; I just denied it. And he's been flirting with me ever since we met. We just needed the extra push.

With a heavy sigh, Andre turns to look at me, a sparkle in his eye. He seems determined yet so sweet at the same time. I wait for him to say something, studying his face and noticing a mole just above the corner of his lip.

"Skye, the way I feel about you isn't subtle," Andre's gaze falls. "That's why I'm not holding back, not one bit."

His eyes so full of understanding and compassion that staring at him right now, I notice the many more blemishes under his lip; The stress lines leading from the corner of his upper lip to the sides of his nose.

I reach up, brushing my thumb against his lips, then his cheek, then his nose and his eyes.

"Whatcha doin' Skye-With-An-E?" He giggles, moving his head slightly to its side to kiss the palm of my hand.

"Just appreciating your face, now leave me alone."

He laughs again, grabbing my hand and pushing it away.

My heart leaps into my throat and immediately drops into my stomach. Somehow all the things I liked about him were multiplied, my mind and heart not being able to control the urge to scream.

Awkwardly, neither of us speak. "Now what?" You're a real charmer for that one, Skye.

"I think our agreement," Andre pauses. "Let's... take things slow still. I don't think I'm ready for a new relationship yet, Skye. I'm sorry."

"No! Don't be," I'm sad and feel slightly relieved. "I'm.not ready either."

The light reflecting off the moon shines on the side of our tent, the shadows of the trees waving in the slight breeze outside. Andre unzips the window, contemplating the moon.

"Why do you think that?" He asks.

I peer up at the moon as well, "I only started getting used to having feelings for someone. I can't just dive into a relationship without knowing anything. I can't just go into blind."

"But we won't know if it'll work if we don't try. Do you think we should risk it?"

For a moment, I think tempted to tell him, 'yes, risk it all, please.' But I hold myself back, this time for a good reason. "I'm sorry, Andre. We're both not ready."

Andre nods, fully understanding our circumstances. "Let's take this slow then. I like you a lot. I wouldn't wanna ruin things."

I smile softly, kissing him gently on the cheek. "I'd like that. Maybe this little thing could work."

"GODDAMNIT. FUCK. SHIT. FUCK!" Marjorie shouts angrily. "

"That's 20 bucks, please." John giggles. "They ain't doin' shit yet."

"Were you two eavesdropping?" I shout, unzipping the window. "What the fuck?"

"The tents do have thin walls," Andre cracks his knuckles and grunts. "We're not official, but maybe we could go out after our trip? Just you and me?"

I freeze up again, looking at him blankly before he calls my name again, shaking me out of the shock. "Huh?"

"Do you want to go out with me? Maybe on Saturday?"

"Yes, yes, Andre, yes," I nod, but I swear my head is just vibrating from the excitement and adrenaline. "Yes."

Andre pulls me into a hug, resting his chin on my shoulder. He pulls away. The confidence in his face annoys me; it's like he stole the spotlight away from me confessing. It's in his nature to one-up people, so he asked me out on this date. I guess it's a date. Is it? I'll ask.

"Is it a-"

Nope, no. I feel like it is. I'll assume it is.

"It's a date, Skye, yes."

"Goodnight, Andre," I blankly reply, patting his shoulder awkwardly and climbing into my mattress.

I can hear the two snoops listening outside, giggling like little girls after pulling a prank. "I'll bash your heads together like coconuts if you don't go back into your tents."

I hear them rifling around the bushes, the zipping up of their tents and the _plop_ into their own mattresses.

Stupid, Andre. He fell asleep so fast as if he isn't excited to be going on this date. A date. I wanna laugh out loud. How crazy is it that I'm going on a date? If I told my younger self in June that'd I'd be going on a date with a really cute boy in July, I'd hit myself. I'd beat myself up. How stupid could I be?

I feel like I'm panicking too much. It's only Andre. It'd be like the other hangouts that only involved us two. Like that one time, we went to get a bite to eat. The only difference is, this is a _date_.

I turn over, facing the sleeping boy on the other side of the tent. I close my eyes, silently thank him, and drift off to sleep. It was one of the best nights of sleep I've had in a while

_**END OF PART ONE** _

_Epilogue_

"That's the last of boxes!" Tagu yells, slamming down the trunk of her jeep. "And bags, I guess."

We had a lot of extra leftovers, which were mostly snacks like chips and chocolate. Most of the boxes we brought were recycled, which Andre and John already did. They had to walk quite the length, though, back and forth. They were pretty tired after. The blue recycling bin had been passed the swimming pool's fences, which was far enough as it is.

The two are still sitting on the last two foldable chairs left to pack up. They decided to procrastinate and rest, telling us they'd pack up the chairs after everything else was packed up.

I had my backpack strapped tightly against my back and my guitar already in the backseat of Andre's CRV.

Julianna calls on the boys to pack up their chairs, and they reluctantly do so, wiping their eyes.

Nick leads the way out of the camp, all the cars following the trailer. Andre and I are the cabooses, making sure no one falls behind us. We agreed Andre would have to drive a little ways away from the next car up, but not so far that it'd be out of distance.

The cars individually check out, and just like that, we're on the highway, jamming out to some tunes again.

I shiver at the sudden cold whooshing at my legs, and Andre suddenly tosses me one of his blankets.

"Where did you even get this-"

"Shhh, shhh, just stay warm. I ain't turning off the A/C," he says, continuing his obnoxious but cute singing. "Can I pretty please play the song?"

I groan, covering my ears, "Shoot me first, bitch. Then I'll listen."

"So rude," Andre shakes his head, acting disappointed, but that damn smug smile creeps out. "C'mon! It's three minutes, and I won't play it ever again when I drive with you."

I roll my eyes, rubbing my temples and regrettably nodding my head.

He whoops, tossing me his phone and telling me where to find the song.

 _"Wise men say,"_ He imitates Elvis, which does stir up a bit of laughter out of me. _"Only fools rush in."_

I glance away from him and lean my elbow onto the car's door, laying my chin against a palm. I ironically start pointing and telling Andre what we pass by. Since it's Saskatchewan, all I tell him is that I see wheat, grass and canola.

"HORSES! LOOK!" I laugh at my own sarcasm, but he gets a good giggle out of it too.

I cross my arms, allowing myself to listen to the song this time without having to distract myself. Something happens, however. The car seems to slow down.

"Andre? Why are you slowing down?"

He curls his brow, "I'm not. Are you okay? Did you get enough sleep?"

I shake my head, "Nevermind, I'm probably lagging."

The longer I stare at him, the urge to look away almost falls out of my thoughts. What was happening to me? I've had moments with him, but last night somehow heightened the emotions I felt for him.

It seems like her whole life just leads to these moments with her new friends with him. I can't believe it, even with all the jealousy I had felt, all the fear about what Brian told me. A real family is the one I have right now, the one I plan on keeping no matter what.

I can't lose.

But something about this song wasn't so clichè after all. It's getting into my head, and I don't know if it's just me or the heat of the moment. In fact, it feels as if the song is reflecting what I feel right now.

Am I?...

No. Not yet, anyway.

...

Andre and I arrive at his house late in the afternoon. His parents help us unload the car and return supplies to the storage space underneath Andre's deck. We leave the tent on one of the shelves in the garage.

I hear Andre's voice trail off, but I don't think much of it. I'm too busy handing his dad the leftover supplies, mostly the fishing gear that we're sorting in a bucket and tackle box in the backyard.

The honk of a car's horn prompts me to turn around, curious as to where and what Andre was doing.

"Did something happen to the car?" I walk through the door leading into the backyard from the garage and don't see him anywhere. "Andre, where are you?"

I walk out into the sun, seeing Andre talking to these two adults coming out of a taxi. I take the time to get my guitar out of the backseat of the CRV and see him approach a girl with wavy brown hair done up in an upsweep, and light skin, a bit darker than mine.

I saunter up to him slowly, getting a good look at this girl's face, her hazel eyes glimmer when they pass my face.

She smiles widely when she sees me, almost matching Quinn's blinding smile. "Who's this? I've never seen her around here," The girl says politely, waving at me and reaching out a hand in front of me.

"Oh, this is Skye," Andre wraps an arm around me and rubs my shoulder as I stretch out my arm and shake her hand. He turns his head to me, "And Skye—"

"Hm?" I let go of the girl's hand.

"This is Rory Silva," He beams at Rory. "She's the girl I told you about. I was hoping you two would meet."

  
  



	44. She's Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost finished! Enjoy!

_**PART TWO** _

_1:00 p.m.  
July 26, 2019_

Marjorie's POV

I pull over next to the lawn of the large mansion, waving hello to Skye's fountain. Skye rolls her eyes, leaving the car.

"Don't say hi to the fountain; I hate that fountain," Skye opens the trunk of my car and pulls out her plastic bag full of clothes and essentials.

I stare at the bag and back at her. There's an uneasiness of dropping her off at her abusers' house. I feel powerless, wanting to save her from this hell and take her in, care for her and be a big sister for her.

"Are you sure you don't want me to buy you a backpack just in case they kick me out?"

She sighs heavily, contemplating my question. "No," she refuses. "If would probably throw it away. They'd call it ugly even if it suited their styles."

I feel responsible for leaving her here again, but I'd know she'd be alright once she texts our group chat on Snapchat and/or Instagram.

Skye dreadfully gazes up at the mansion, "It looks too quiet. They're probably not home," She says, glancing at me. "If you wanna walk me to the door, you can."

For a moment, I consider asking if I could come in for a little bit and leave before her parents ever saw me. It's a stupid question, though. She doesn't even have to answer it, and I'd know what she would say.

We walk side by side, up the steps and on the empty concrete doorstep. She flips open a number pad and enters the pin to unlock the door.

She lets the door swing open, and to our surprise, we find an empty house. Skye's mouth begins to gape, dropping her bag in shock.

"What the hell?" She utters in disbelief, stepping inside the house and scanning it from left to right. "Everything's gone."

Skye runs around the corner, climbing up the stairs, her shoes producing large thumps. She screams for me to come in. "Marjorie! Everything's gone!"

I slide my shoes off my feet and take my time walking up, holding onto the railing as I examine the mansion in its entirety. The chandelier eerily swinging above the door, the empty dining room.

From the inside, it looks as if no one had lived here in the first place. It's as good as new, near perfect.

I reach the top of the steps, staring down an endless corridor. Skye emerges from one of the rooms and urges me to hurry.

Skye and I walk into a pink and white room, all corners visible to the eye. She opens a door into a walk-in closet and pokes her head out.

"Well, they left all my clothes," her face drops. "All the clothes that I had bought."

I confusedly cross my arms, staying outside the closet.

She shows me two hangers with clothes that match the rest of Skye's outfits. "These are the clothes my mom always calls ugly," she speaks so casually about it, as it happens daily. I put an arm around Skye.

"I can call someone and bring some boxes and bags," I pull a phone out from my leggings' pockets. "Tagu isn't busy right now. Is that okay?"

Skye smiles, nodding, but that smile doesn't match the heaviness in her eyes. I pull her into a quick hug, tapping into my phone's contact list and calling Tagu.

"Just get your stuff out here, okay?" I notice in one corner is all her make-up.

My blood boils, and I step outside and place my elbows on the railings, leaning forward. I talk to Tagu, telling her about the situation. She doesn't even have to think about her answer, hanging up the phone quicker than usual.

"Tagu's bringing boxes, is that okay?" I holler to Skye.

She yells back, "Yes!"

I skip down the stairs and lightly jog towards my car, opening the passenger doors and reaching in to find my duffel bag.

"Jesus, where is it?" I slam the door shut and move on to my trunk, scanning around and finally locating the bag.

I pull it out and sense a strong, warm breeze blowing in my direction. That's unusual, considering it's quite cloudy today. I turn my head and see a shiny, waxed car pulling into the driveway. I half-expected to see Tagu pulling up, but it wouldn't make sense. She lives in the Eastside, so it would be impossible to drive that fast unless she speeds.

These two people slide out of the car. The lady emerging from the vehicle snarls at me, her eyes so hateful and rude, scanning me up and down. I squint at her, eyeing her back. If that's who I think it is, then I have the right to stare back at her with the same rudeness.

She's wearing a gray checkered suit over a white dress and three pearl necklaces. Her eyes match Skye's funnily enough, but I know that a person like Skye would never be as foul and rotten as her.

The man doesn't notice me, his reddened face rushing to the open door of the mansion. His navy suit has not one wrinkle on it, his gray hair almost insulting how red his expression was.

The woman follows him closely behind, her heels annoyingly tapping on the concrete driveway. If I were to intervene, I could get Skye in even more trouble than she will be. All I'm hoping for is that they don't hurt her when they take her to wherever they went. That wish is irrational, and the inevitability of the situation makes me want to throw up.

Skye's frame comes into view, her eyes passing my face. She's being dragged, by her mom, so forcefully that I might have to run and catch her if she falls down. Skye shows little resistance, her hand lifelessly flopping around, and in obvious pain.

"Where the hell have you been?" Her mom yells loudly; it pierces even my ears from this distance. "You turned off your damn tracker again! We expected you to be here at our doorstep yesterday!"

"Mom, I--" _thwap!_

I gasp, almost choking on my own breath. I hold my cheek as if I'd been the one who was slapped. If only it was simple to trade places; Skye didn't deserve that.

"And what did I say about your damned clothes? Just getting near that closet of yours is repulsive!" She scorns the redhead, staring daggers at her. "If you had come home at the right time, you would have known we had moved."

"I'm sorry," Skye has a shake in her voice, holding back tears. "I thought by a week you two meant that I'd come back after Friday."

Her dad scoffs, towering over her. Skye hesitantly looks up, her fearful and dejected face making my heart quicken its beats. "We left those clothes for a reason, Skye," Her father's voice is scratchy yet so aggressive. "Wearing those at business dinners and conferences makes the rest of the family look unpresentable and unspeakably ugly. Unlike your brother, he actually listens to us."

Skye utters something, but I couldn't hear it.

"If I could burn those clothes, I would!" her father screams directly at her, Skye turning her head slightly to shield herself. "You want to know why we left them? Hm? Because your clothing is the only reason, we can't have some of the things we want!"

Skye breathes heavily, trying desperately to slide her hand free.

Her mother raises a hand again, Skye's look of terror sickening me, causing me to put a hand on my stomach.

"STOP!" I scream, nearly charging toward them, but my voice got her attention.

Skye's mother lowers her hand, swinging open the door and pointing inside. Skye hops into the car quickly, not wanting to feel her wrath again.

"And who might you be?" Her father approaches me menacingly; his steps almost thundering my head. "You know how vulgar it is to intrude on a family's private business?"

I stare at him directly in the eye, "I was here with your daughter. Helping her pack the clothes and belongings you both apparently forgot."

He chuckles rudely, "We didn't forget them. Our daughter needs a bit of... correcting is all. She has to look like us, you see?"

"No, I don't see anything," I don't falter my gaze.

He impatiently turns away from me, putting his hands at his sides. "No wonder she dresses so improperly," he growls. "People like you influence her with that ridiculous clothing. Casual clothing."

"Rodger, please, in the car," Skye's mother urges him, walking up to me as well as he slowly steps into the vehicle.

The lady scans me up and down, "Stay away from my daughter. You people are the reason she's the way she is. If only she knew how to find real class, then I wouldn't be having this conversation with you."

I bite my bottom lip, letting my gaze fall.

"I'll have you know that the lawyers I'm in contact with can guarantee a restraining order for my daughter," She turns away, taking her time walking back into her car. "That means if I ever see you near Skye again, I'll see you in court. If you ever spread rumours about what happened here, tell people about this moment; I'll see you in court. Be smart."

The car pulls away from the drive away, the two adults eyeing me coldly as they drive off away from the cul-de-sac, turning right from the stop sign.

She's threatening me just because of the way I look? Fuck, and both of them blame Skye for the problems in their family. From only appearances alone.

How friendly could they act in public for those people not to be behind bars yet?

How can we, as friends, possibly save her from people so deceitful and manipulative?

I sit down on the sidewalk, rest my chin on my hands and wait for Tagu. I feel so useless, could I have done anything anyway?

She insulted me, too. And she blames me for how Skye dresses, even though we have two completely different styles. I scratch my upper lip, hearing her mother's words bounce around my head.

I can't help but feel like a reason Skye's had to go through that situation. If I had convinced her otherwise to go home, maybe everything would've been alright. But Skye wanted to bend the rules, as she stated, telling me that they wanted her home in a week, so that meant after Friday.

I understand if she wanted to prolong the inevitable, but she got slapped speaking two words. She'd done absolutely nothing wrong; her parents are the reason she was kicked out in the first place. Why kick her out but force her to switch on a tracker on her phone, too? It doesn't make any sense.

And my heart hurts for her, nearly feeling the wrath of her mother firsthand. How useless am I now? Maybe if I wasn't here, she wouldn't have threatened me with the law. I'm in a chokehold now, and it dragged everyone into that hold, too.

I'll definitely tell them what had happened, but what can we do even if I do that? Considering their social status, how much of a chance do we have against them?

Distressed, I wander off to the grass to lay down and think. I nearly forgot that Tagu was even coming.

Maybe I can sneak into the mansion and retrieve SKye's clothes. All we have to do is find her new address and hand her the clothes in secret. I'm willing to give her my duffel bag if it means she gets apart of herself back in her hands.

The grey clouds match the dullness of the grass, how less green the grass turns the longer I stare at it.

A similar car horn rings, and my heart drops, too scared to lift my head.

"You gotta be kidding me," I sigh, pushing myself up to see Tagu thankfully enough. "Oh, thank God."

Tagu parks in their driveway, getting out of her jeep. "Where's Skye?"

I explain to her what's happened; Tagu rightfully furious, storming inside the house wanting to find her parents.

"Do they know about my knife collection?" Tagu quips, but I can't tell if she really is joking. "I can have a knife for each of them."

There's a silence after I shake my head, starting towards the door.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me," I only notice now standing in front of it. "Skye's dad must've relocked the door, too."

Tagu crouches down, inspecting the lock closely. "He does know any left belongings can ruin the value of the house."

Honestly, I don't know if that's really true or not. I shrug, "You gonna try picking it?"

"No, there's an alarm system. The cops'll be on our tails if I try that," She glances at me, still kneeling. "Did you at least ask Skye what the code was?"

I shake my head, "No. I thought we'd get out scot-free with the stuff."

"Did you at least look?"

"Tagu, I didn't look," I back up just at the edge of the steps, gazing up at the tall mansion. "There are windows, but the ones on the bottom floor don't unlatch from the frame."

I've been quite jumpy since Skye's family left, so scared they're hurting Skye as I think and speak. Turning a blind-eye is one of the worst things a person can do in certain circumstances. However, being forced to turn a blind eye to protect your friends, including one that's abused, hurts even more. We are so powerless. All we can do is be the hope for her, care for her like no other can. And maybe we'll find hope for ourselves.

My phone dings, startling Tagu and me. She stands up as I pull my phone out, glancing left and right wildly to relieve or heighten my paranoia of being watched.

It's a text from Skye. She gave us no words but a combination of numbers, which Tagu begins tapping in almost immediately.

 _ **Skye  
**_04-17-15

Are you okay??  
Skye?  
We'll have your stuff soon, don't worry. Okay? Just stay safe, please.

I feel raindrops fall onto my hand and see one splatter on the phone screen. I rub it against my sweater, briefly staring into the clouds, the crystal raindrops falling against my skin. They're cold and rigid like sharp pins thrown against my skin.

Tagu drags me into the house and hands me my duffel bag and boxes. "Hurry. These people are smart and will probably come back," She warns, rushing up the stairs; she stops briefly and points. "Up here, yeah? What room?"

"Third one on the left."

She wastes no time, chucking the boxes to the upper level and jogging into Skye's room.

I dart into Skye's room as well, Tagu somehow folding the clothes so neatly at top speeds. "Don't just stand there! GET THE MAKE-UP!"

"Geez," I chuckle, sliding across the floor and gathering up all of Skye's supplies and tucking them in the container, with some space left on the right side. "If she has any small jewelry, put them in here."

I peer inside the closet, and seeing it near empty catches me off guard by its immense size. No wonder she could hide her instruments here, but it's a good thing Andre has most of them.

I see a little jewelry box toppled over with some of its tiny drawers missing. I can tell it's something Skye would never buy, and my questions are answered when I notice there's no scattered jewelry from the toppled case. If her parents wanted the jewelry so bad, why not take the entire thing?

I pick it up, sorting each drawer in its own case and dusting it off in respect to Skye's belongings, even though she may not be fond of it.

It's pure white, not a smidge of greasy fingertips, no scratches, no stains. Glistening under the light of the closet. The colour of it and its condition define perfection.

"You think she'd want this?" I step out of the closet. "Tagu."

She stares up from her seated position on the floor, some daylight seeping in through the blinds. "I mean if she wants it."

"That's the thing, it'd be too risky to text Skye today. Her mom could have her phone," I imply, handing her the jewelry box. "She text the group at all?"

She shakes her head to my dismay, "If she deleted her social media or had back-up accounts, I'm sure she'd be on those right now. She has to conceal every trace of us."

It takes us a whole ten minutes to fit some clothes into my duffel bag and two boxes, plus the one with her jewelry box and make-up.

We'd brought too many boxes, but it's better to have too much than too little. I carry the empty boxes down the stairs, the duffel bag hanging loosely off my shoulder. Tagu skilfully balances three of the boxes down the stairs, walking out the door and telling me to hurry up.

I slam the door behind me with a foot and trot off the steps of the doorstep, Tagu setting the boxes and me setting the duffel bags into the trunk tightly.

"You taking these to her right now?"

"No, too risky," I rub my chin, realizing that I'd have to leave by midnight, assuming her parents sleep earlier than us. "I'd have to leave when my family is asleep. Probably later tonight."

Tagu casually nods, "Well, good luck trying to find her address."

I take one last look at the mansion, scolding it silently before climbing into my car. "Drive home safely."

Tagu salutes me, watching me off first as I drive away far from that wicked place. The problem is, they'll have a new wicked place, with new wicked tricks. As I ride out, now in the pouring rain, I vow to never step foot in a house with monsters like that again.

When I get home, I stay in my bed. I don't eat, don't talk to my friends. I wait till midnight, still with no clear plan in my head about how I can get these clothes to Skye.

Andre didn't take lightly to the news, wanting to go out and find her. His plan is pretty much the same as mine: nothing, aimlessly drive around the city, but that would take ages. He has a curfew, and I don't. However, I still get in quite a lot of trouble when I decide to go out past eleven at night if my parents wake up to find my car missing, that is.

My phone dings, and expecting it to be one of my friends, I turn over, curl up into a ball and shine the phone in my face. My heart sinks, my eyes glancing at the time in the upper right corner of my phone. It's 1:30 a.m. I have time.

 _ **Skye  
**_1215 Hargreaves Way

Before I can type in a reply, the chat disappears. She must've blocked me for her safety and mine. Without another thought, I slide into some joggers and sloppily slip into a sweater dangling from my chair.

I swipe the keys off the kitchen counter and quietly maneuver through the back door, shutting it gently before tiptoeing toward my car parked in front of the lawn. I wasn't much of a good memorizer, but her address was branded into my brain the moment I read the text.

The address is familiar considering it is so close to where I and the others live—by/around Hampton village. I drive recklessly, going over the limit on multiple occasions because maybe I'll be too late again and get Skye in trouble. It's hard enough dealing with the fact that what I witnessed would forever be with my friends and me, but we couldn't tell a fly.

The street lamps and banners of Hampton Village start appearing in the distance. I feel so close, but my car begins to move even slower than before, or maybe that's my imagination?

I shake my head, refusing to get distracted during such a risky operation that could cost my friend's happiness and humanity. My thumb involuntarily wipes away a droplet welling in my eye, trying to be strong for Skye.

I wonder now if she's here in the Westside of Saskatoon if she'd be able to attend the same school we do? I mean, her high school last year is in the same school division as ours. There's a slight chance that this move their family made could go in our favour IF they allow her to move schools at all.

Pulling up to the mansion, I notice it's even larger than their last, with long rectangular windows and an overhang with two pillars guarded by two lion statues at the doorstep.

The mansion towers over two smaller houses on either side and mocks the houses facing it from across the street. Did they have this built here? I've passed this neighbourhood countless times, namely when I would drive friends home who live around here. This part of Hampton village always has construction workers building and organizing new homes. I guess this piece of land with the mansion was privately bought by Skye's family. Previously, I never knew the city had built anything here, let alone in Hampton village.

I park by a random house across the streets, maybe three down from the actual mansion itself. I hoist the boxes, stacking one on top of the other and hug them against my chest, putting the duffel bag around my shoulder. I walk across the street carefully, taking my time to get to the sidewalk.

Panting, I put the boxes down and look back up, seeing a person cloaked in darkness and almost scream.

"Skye!" I recognize her almost instantly, her hair the only thing lighting up. "You could've said something. Or met me half-way under that street lamp.

She shrugs, refusing to meet my gaze. She squats down and lifts the boxes, leading the way down the sidewalk.

"I snuck out through the fence," she gestures, hugging the bush wall barricading her neighbour's driveway from theirs. "I'm lucky my parents went to sleep early tonight. It's a Saturday, and they would usually throw a party or go to a party.

I soothingly rub her shoulder, walking through her fence.

"And we're both lucky they didn't install any cameras yet," She faces me. "My rooms on the top floor again. I need you to stay hidden near the deck in my backyard."

"How'd you get down?" I ask, following her to the backyard. I plop down the duffel bag on the last tile of pavement. Her backyard has a swimming pool, with beach chairs and umbrellas at the base of the pool. There's a gazebo a foot or two away from the hot tub, elevated from the pool itself.

Lights line the roof of the gazebo and on the edges where the grass meets the pavement. A tree is in the corner, and pots of plants border the edges of the pool.

"M.J," Skye whispers, beckoning me at her side. "I climbed out of that window. Had to do some parkour."

She points to a decently sized balcony with windowed doors. "I'm surprised they didn't give that balcony to my-- myself," Skye clears her throat. "Parents wanted the biggest room."

I scoff at the remark from earlier, but the look on her face tells me she's serious. "You're strong for how you look."

Skye snickers, "I thought you knew that already," she jumps onto a platform protruding from the wall. "Meet me at the deck, okay? If you hear something and think it isn't me, put the stuff underneath the deck and just run. I'll get the stuff the next morning."

I nod, watching her jump again and wrapping her legs around a pillar, her fingers latching at the railings of the balcony. She hoists herself up and disappears into the darkness.

Quickly but quietly, I tiptoe around the deck, crouching by the side closest to the fence door. The boxes and duffel bag are stationed under the deck, concealed by the dark. I make sure that they absolutely cannot be seen easily.

A door squeaks open, alerting me. I freeze, tempted to peer up and call for Skye. No one says anything, the footsteps walking about the deck. Suddenly they stop, and I tell myself it isn't Skye, and with the push of my foot, I attempt to bolt toward the fence door.

"M.J!" Skye calls, still somewhat quietly but loud enough for me to hear. "Almost thought you left."

She climbs over the fence, motioning at me to follow her. "Take off your shoes. We need to be as quiet as possible."

The lights illuminating the pool shine on Skye's face briefly, the left side of her cheek containing little welts and the imprints of three fingers.

"How are you?" I kick off my shoes, carrying the duffel bag around my shoulder. "Skye?"

Skye ignores my question, only shaking her head.

"You want help with your boxes?"

She shakes her head no again, sneaking through the kitchen and disappearing up the spiralling stairs. I leave the backdoor open, lagging behind Skye up the stairs. The house is too dark to see in its entirety, but where we came from was the kitchen, then the living room, and then the stairs.

"Psst," She hisses quietly, going inside a room. I step in with her, and she turns on her phone's flashlight, sighing in relief. "My room is pink again."

I chuckle, sitting on her bed. "I left the back door open."

She nods, "It's fine."

Skye kneels in front of me, reaching underneath her bed and pulling out a suitcase. "Luckily, they never check under my bed," she unzips it, ripping open the boxes and smiling softly at the sight of her clothes. Her eyes finally meet mine. "Thank you. So much. Tagu as well, don't forget to tell her thanks."

"I'll send the message," I help her load the clothes into the suitcase and stuff the duffel bag underneath the bed. "We got your make-up, too."

Her eyes seem to light up, "Did you get the jewelry box?"

I tilt my head, "Did you want it?"

She nods almost impatiently, "Yes, please."

I hold it up for her after taking it out of the box. She grabs it with reluctance, contemplating it while she studies it.

"My aunt gave me this," Skye says. "I haven't seen her in a while. My parents cut off contact with my extended family. Said they were too..."

"I get it," I rub her shoulder. "Types like your parents, they'll do anything do be on their own, to isolate themselves just for the sake of reputation."

She puts a hand over mine, leaning on my shoulder. "You should go, M.J. Before the door slams on its own."

"How? Did the ghost follow you home?" I nudge her side. "Stay safe, Skye."

I get up to leave, my hand on the door, but something clicks in my head, something I nearly forgot to ask her.

I glance behind me, "Before I go, are you still going to Holy Cross next year?"

She shakes her head. "My parents don't wanna pay for my bus pass anymore. Told me I'd be moving to a school near here."

"How would you get to school without the bus?" I cross my arms.

She shrugs, "Walk, I suppose. Schools on the Westside are close here, right?"

"No, they're a far walk. The closest one is Tommy Douglas and Beth," I inform, fully turning around to face her.

There's a hint of fear on her face after I mention the two schools.

"Are you moving to one of them?"

"I don't know what their plan is," Skye slumps her back, scratching her cheek. "But they'll probably send me to another Catholic school. They'd be too lazy to switch divisions."

"E.D. Feehan or Beth, then?"

She nods slowly, "I'll try letting you know tomorrow. Mom has my phone, which is why I blocked you. I had to delete my DMs with everyone and leave our group chat. I memorized your numbers."

"Damn, all nine of us?"

She hums, staring at me, hesitantly. "How's Andre?"

I smile, giving her a look.

"Marjorie, answer the question."

"He's good. He's dying to sneak out for you," I fill her in to what he had told me yesterday. "Was supposed to be tonight, but you moved. Now at least he can walk."

She tries to shield her face in the dark, but the brightness of her teeth is visible even in the dark. "Thanks again, M.J. I'll walk you out."

We creep down the stairs again, giggling while we anxiously look back and forth behind and in front of us. The moment we reach the door, she shoves me out, waving after closing the door. I gasp, sticking my tongue out at her silent laughs.

I wave good-bye for the last time, running off the deck and turning the corner to bolt out the fence's door, closing it behind me, hearing a _click_. I sprint to my car, hopping in a starting it.

I lean back in my chair, hoping that her parents send her to Beth. If she goes to Beth, she'll always be with us; we'll be able to protect her. Being with her every day will give us the best shot at winning.

However, I'm beginning to understand Andre's fear: the fear of losing and what would happen after.

Before I reach home, I already know I wouldn't be getting an ounce of sleep tonight.

_July 27, 2019  
11:37 a.m._

I got the text from Skye this morning. I'd woken up an hour ago, only managing three and a half hours of sleep. Despite being so tired, I got ready as soon as I saw her text, telling us she'll have to fetch the registration paper at Bethlehem herself. Registrations are today between 8 a.m. to 2 p.m., so we have plenty of time.

The others were most likely still asleep, trying to catch up on lost hours of sleep during our camping trip.

Skye told me she could text all she wanted today as her parents were away for most of the day, aside from dragging her to another business dinner. I felt her dread after I read those words.

I pulled up to her house, rolling down the window to her usual blank face.

"Hey," Skye opens the door, taking her seat at the front. "I remember the first time I was in this car."

I coo at her with a smile, mustering up the courage to reach over and hug her.

"Touchy, touchy, M.J," Skye stiffens up, patting my back awkwardly. "I'll be honest with you. Kind of scared to go to the same school as you guys. I mean, I've heard stories and rumours about that school, and it seems ugly there."

I shake my head, "It's not as bad as people think, but we could definitely use some fixing up. Considering our school is one of the newest ones built."

It was built in 2007 along with Tommy Douglas. They're connected to each other with a recreational hub called the Shaw Centre as a buffer in between.

"But you're excited to be with us, right?"

"I suppose," Skye says dryly. "I don't need any paperwork, right? My parents called the school earlier and told me to pick up the paper."

"Oh, no. Just need an I.D. and a pen. We'll fill out your registration form there. And after you can get your parents' signatures when they get home."

Skye nods, "Sweet. Let's go. We just have to be back before they come back, which is in a couple of hours."

The drive is less than 15 minutes, disregarding the traffic lights and actual traffic we have to go through to get there. I take a different route this time, the one away from Blairmore, to avoid three traffic lights. I drive through 22nd Street West, going through the only traffic lights on that road smoothly, making a left turn.

As I drive down the road, I notice Skye leaning on her palm, scrutinizing the school's building.

"It's so blue," She scoffs. "And bright. Where do you guys, have your football games? There's a football field but no bleachers."

I laugh at this, as I've always wondered the same. "That's the practice field; most games we play have to be played at Gordie Howe Bowl at the SMF field."

"Oh! I thought your school had a bigger budget since it was new," Skye tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "Cross played at Fifton Stadium, but they also play at SMF field from time to time."

I make a right at the stop sign, then another right to enter student/visitor parking. As expected, it's empty, with only a few cars in the lot. I park in a rectangle close to the 100 wing doors, shutting off my car and stepping out.

Skye's arms nervously shiver, her staggered breaths reaching my ears as she takes my side. "It's always so nerve-wracking going inside schools."

I put an arm around her, rubbing her back comfortingly. "Don't worry. No matter what you've heard, we'll try helping you feel safer every time you walk through any of these doors."

She barely lifts her lips when she smiles, walking with me toward the door. I swing one open, letting her go inside first.

"What's the point of this tiny space?" Skye chuckles, peering down at the floor. "Oh, drying shoes."

"Observant, are you?"

"Oh, shush."

Skye returns the gesture, opening the inner doors for me, and I step in, inhaling the school's familiar scent. I realize this would be one of the last moments I'll have walking through this school. No one gets told this enough, but high school may seem slow, but it's going to end very fast. I'm starting to understand that more, walking through this particular hallway again.

Lockers line each side of these halls, the floors separated by colour at the half-way point. The floors were cut in half basically to maintain some organization when students walk through each hallway. The rule was, walk on the right side of the hall, the colours would show you.

I turn around, gazing up at the mural the first generation of students made here. It's a giant peace sign made with hundreds of flyers and pictures old students made or found; the colours in a pattern create the shape and effect when seen from afar.

"Cool," Skye says sarcastically, but I know she's genuine. She just has a funny way of showing it sometimes.

Walking backwards, we start to see little by little the peace sign forming.

"Oh, I see it now, my bad," She giggles, her eyes fixated on the mural. "Just had to see it from a different perspective.

We turn a corner, Skye's mouth slowly gaping open at how large the commons area is, the stairs still stacked nearly against the gym's window.

I catch her attention, pointing at the exit doors just right of the 100 wing. "That's another entrance, and there are at least three more entrances in each of the halls."

"What's that?" She gestures at a stand with big letters spelling 'STARS' on top of the window.

"It's the Stars Store," I answer. "And beside it, is the 200 wing. There are two floors, and the 2nd floor also has classrooms and more lockers."

She scoffs, crossing her arms smugly. "Stars Store? That's corny as hell."

"I know, but the merch! School Spirit!"

"I've talked to you enough to know that you barely have school spirit. Skipping pep-rallies, yikes."

I squeal, covering her mouth in laughter. "ANYWAY! DON'T EXPOSE ME," I clear my throat and straighten my back. "There are the vending machines and the lost and found bin, and if you follow me here, the calendar is here, too."

The calendar facing the commons is hand-drawn on chalk, usually done by our student council. There's nothing filled in right now, but when it is, they typically write in school events, pep rallies, and/or games on the respective days.

"Over here beside the calendar are the displays of the merch you can buy at the kiosk if you really wanted, and next to that," I move closer. "Are the awards for the graduating classes throughout all the years. They have their names engraved underneath the actual trophies."

"Do they at least get plaques, medals, anything?" Skye steps forward, reading each of the individual awards.

"Yes, of course, they do."

Skye curiously peers down the hallway in front of her, next to the library. "300 Wing?"

"You can read!"

"Yup, it is, and I'm assuming," She shifts her body to face the hallway across the stretch in between that and the library. "Is the 400 wing. And the large stage facing the commons area is the theatre stage."

I'm surprised she observed and picked up on the details of the school so quickly. "How do you know that this leads to the theatre?"

"Where else would it lead? In plus, if the theatre's in the 300 Wing, then this must be it, too," Skye walks ahead of me now, across the commons, her curiosity matching that of when we explored some parts of Pike Lake.

We stop walking once we reach the display cases of the Pom Team and the sports awards. "Your school has this, too."

"Mhm, I think every school has a sports award display."

"That big thing right there in the gym, and right here is one of my favourite places in any school," Her hands graze the doors of the band room, a disappointed look after learning that the doors are locked. "Darn was about to jam out instead of registering."

I crack my knuckles, beckoning her to follow me towards the front office, maneuvering around the multiple tables in the commons.

I knock on the door, hearing Mrs. Henry, our secretary, telling me to come in.

"Good morning! What can I do for you two today?"

"Hi, Mrs. Henry," I greet her casually. "My friend here needs something."

Skye steps forward, clearing her throat anxiously before speaking. "I need registration papers; I think my parents called the school?"

"You good alone? Or do you want me to stay?" I ask.

"I'm good, Marjorie, thanks."

I oblige, stepping outside and sitting on the stone bench in front of the main entrance of the school right next to the large gym windows. Skye will have to fill in her paper there and get a parental signature before being a part of this school.

The door rings, and Skye emerges, waving good-bye to Mrs. Henry before jogging up to sit next to me on the bench, briefly reading the words on the glass fused with it. "All about Bethlehem and the Bethlehem star here, huh? Christmas must be festive around here."

I snort, shaking my head, "Oh, it's like any high school's Christmas season. Just a bunch of decorations, and yeah, the only difference is our liturgies are a bit more sentimental. The star, as you said, is important to the school."

"I see," Skye leans forward, writing out and putting checkmarks on the tiny boxes on the paper. She signs it at the bottom and pockets her pen. "Alright, that's over with. I'd ask for a follow-up to the tour, but I gotta get home. I don't want a repeat of yesterday to happen where they see you."

I gently stroke the side of her face; her mom slapped, her melancholy eyes glancing past my face.

"I promise, Skye," I drop my hand, staring out the window and all around me. "We'll make you feel safe."

She sighs, sitting back down and staring up at the roof of the commons then around, her eyes flickering at the sight of the different flags lining the upper wall. Her hand grazes her nose and eyes, thinking about the future so closely in her head, she might be living every moment even before it happens.

Maybe she thinks of the future that she has in here, how good her life might end up now that she's in a safe place, where I know some people here would love to hear her story and be her friend apart from us. She'll have a home, a safe place she could always look forward to going to every day. All she needs is a little push.

Three words leave her lips in a misty haze, almost as if she's talking in her sleep.

"I believe you."


	45. Family

_5:00 p.m.  
July 28, 2019_

Andre's POV

A knock on my bedroom door is unusual in this household. Mainly because my family never knocks and just barges into my door, and I don't mind. I don't hide that much from my family, let alone in my room. If I were to hide something, I'd be smarter than that.

"Come in?" I almost question whoever it is that's knocking on my door.

They tap the door again, this time, urgently. I sigh, getting up from my chair and walking toward the door.

"Adrian, if you're pulling a dumb prank on me, I--" I swing the door open, almost dropping the glass of water in my hand. "Skye!"

"Hi," she walks into my room with a blank face and hands behind her back. "How are you?"

I open my mouth to tell her I'd missed her. Still, I remember the last few moments we had together before she had to go to Marjorie's, the sad look on her face after I told her I'd be going on a week-long road trip in August.

"I'm good," I awkwardly smack my lips together. "How was the move?"

"Uneventful, but I'm kind of glad it happened because I haven't seen my parents for more than three hours each day," she sighs, sitting on my bed. "It's been quiet, but it's also only been three days. Anything could happen."

I sit back down on my chair, hiding the shake in my voice with a cough. "Did you like Beth?"

She shrugs, "I don't know."

I nod anxiously, "Did you eat?"

She shakes her head, pulling out her phone and plopping down onto my bed.

Me and M.J's families didn't react well to how her mom treated Skye and how her mom talked to Marjorie.

Our families both threatened to call the cops on them. Still, Marjorie pleaded with them not to, telling them that if they did, Skye could get in even more trouble than she already did.

They know how Skye's family moves, so they listened to Marjorie. We knew we had zero chance to actually take them to court without proper evidence. And they were unbearably rich; I'm sure their money would talk louder than rationality.

After Skye's registration trip, she claimed her parents eased a bit of tension on her as she did what they asked her to without question. They even gave her phone back, seemingly forgetting about what they'd done two days prior.

Well, not giving her phone back; it was left on the counter earlier today wasn't asked about after Skye took it back.

Since then, she's been able to talk to us again, with a close eye, however, as she'd never know when her mom would go through her phone again.

Marjorie was rightfully pissed off, as the mental stress she had to go through after being threatened with the law didn't sit well with her. Especially when she had to sneak into Skye's house to give her clothes back.

Did I say pissed? I meant furious—all that preparation and secrecy for nothing. The downside is we still have to be careful what we say in our group texts, as we'll never know when Skye's phone will be inspected.

Skye's parents also don't know that the friends she indirectly pissed off now go to the same school as her. That's why the whole threat she gave M.J. that she would sue her was such a goddamn empty threat.

She can't sue us for attending school hours and inevitably seeing her in the halls. I always wonder why they never sent her to a private school after being forced to leave Legacy, but knowing how cheap they are toward Skye, they won't pay anything for her, not even for a dime.

The pressure is on us because lurking around with Skye during the rest of the summer is a risk to her. How bad of punishment will she get? We don't know, but I do know that we won't be the ones punished. They'd blame tiny stuff on us, but to them, all the blame would be on Skye.

I promised myself as well I'd protect her, these coming weeks and the entirety of the next school year. Although I'm graduating by June of 2020, I'll still be there for her, even if I'm not always there.

She's more than capable of protecting herself, but sometimes it's all too much for her, and she needs a little push.

My road trip will test if that's true, that even if I'm far, I'll be there for her.

"Do you wanna eat anything?" I ask, spinning around in my chair.

"Nope."

"I hope you know we're leaving in an hour to go to the airport."

Skye bolts up, her eyes distorting, "You said you were leaving on the 2nd."

I chuckle, scooting forward to poke her forehead. "We're picking up my grandparents, Silly."

Her cheeks flush red, slowly laying back down and turning to view the wall in an attempt to hide her face. From this angle, I can still see the rosiness of her face, seeping through into the creek of her neck and her ears.

"What time do you have to be home?" I poke at her hips, causing soft hiccups out of her.

"Andre!" She laughs loudly this time, shifting around in the bed and turning around to face me. "My parents are on a drive, Regina. They left about 30 minutes before I got here and won't be home till the third of August. Business things."

I lean back in surprise, "Wouldn't they have taken you with them?"

"I thought they would have, too, but they told me to stay and clean the house during their trip."

My stomach churns, and I involuntarily cup her face with a hand. "Did you clean it by yourself? You coulda snuck one of us in again."

She shakes her head, softly leaning into my touch. "I didn't need any help," she argues. "Besides, everything stays clean anyway. All I had to do was mop the kitchen floor and wipe down the countertops. And also the dishes they left me to clean."

I jump into the bed next to her, making it bounce lightly. "Damn, that's really low. They're making you a maid," I grit my teeth. "Is there anything left you to have to do?"

"Yeah, the basement needs to be set up. I have to assemble a bunch of couches and a T.V," Skye casually says, shrugging. "Don't look at me like that. It's nothing I haven't had to go through before, and I'd rather do that than deal with my family."

I stare up at the ceiling, "You want me to come and help you tomorrow?"

"Andre, it's really okay," She pleads this time. "Just relax with me today."

"Does that mean you have all day with me?" I giddily gaze at her, pursing my lips.

She sighs, shoving my face away, giggling, "If you give me that look again, I'll go to Marjorie's instead."

"Sorry," I snicker, sitting up in my bed. "My parents are taking the van, so there's enough space for you there. My extended family are all coming, so just be yourself."

"Wait, you want me to come?" She sounds surprised. "That's a family thing. I'll stay here and wait for you."

I shush her, "Don't be shy! My extended family is coming here, anyway. Everyone is older than me except the kids, so they're probably the only ones you'd have to shake off you."

That may or may not be a lie. My extended family, specifically my aunts, like to ask the girls I have over multiple questions every time they happened to come over. My own friends had been susceptible to that, but they told me it was alright, they don't mind my family. And my aunts and others know they were just friends; I had to make it clear after all.

But if they do that to Skye, she will most likely be overwhelmed, and what she and I are right now is a bit complicated. I could call her my friend, but we're going on a date soon during the start of August, so do I say I'm dating her? Or is that until after the date?

"I've heard bout Filipino gatherings; Marjorie and John talk to me about them," Skye shyly rubs her arms. "They might think I'm your girlfriend or something."

"Is that so bad?" I quip, chuckling awkwardly, realizing the danger that I caused in my stomach. "...Er, forget I said that. They've met the other girls, too, when I had some of them over before, and my family was really nice to them."

"But they're all Asian," Skye gulps. "I don't mean it like that! Is just--"

"Quinn isn't Asian."

"She was your girlfriend in the eighth grade, though."

I laugh again, "Skye, they're not gonna ask you anything you won't answer. My aunts will probably ask about school and how you know me."

"When did you say we were leaving?" She steals my chair, leaping into it and slumping down. "Man, Andre, why the hell would you drag me into this? You know how scary it is to meet new people?"

"Well, I'll be right there next to you and re-word questions you don't understand and just make you feel better," I reassure her. "You could always ask my dad to take you home if you're not comfy with anything."

Skye shakes her head, leaning forward this time. "No! It's fine. I need a new experience."

"Meeting a boy's family?"

"No! I mean, yes! Meeting YOUR extended family, I haven't met Marjorie's, aside from a few of her cousins," Skye scratches her nose, standing up and stretching. "What typa questions will they ask me?"

I proceed to give her a list, and she's surprised at how easy they were. I skipped some, of course, because I doubt they'd ask a girl I just met those questions yet; they're reserved for 'the girlfriend.' Skye begged me to reenact some of the scenarios she might be in, and I reassured her again that it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

"What my family values most, Skye, is honesty," I tell her. "And they also value that new people they meet act like themselves because they'd give you the same."

That's not to say they'll be really open with her. Still, honesty will be reciprocated like a casual talk among friends.

Skye worriedly reacts to my mom calling after us, but I tell her it's the only dinner.

"KFC again?" She jokes, starting towards the door.

"Probably not, my mom cooked steak," I open the door for her, letting her walk through first. "She cooked extra for sure. Did she open the door for you?"

She nods, waving at Adrian playing his ukelele. "Hi, bud."

"Do you wanna sing after dinner?" Adrian asks, smiling widely. "Or after we pick up my Nanay and Tatay?"

She nervously looks at me before answering, "Uh, sure, kiddo. If I'm welcome after."

My mom gestures us to come to sit at the table, "Of course you're welcome after. Are you coming?"

Skye nods, taking her seat, "I'll come."

The table is already prepared with steak on three plates with rice on the side, and a spoon, fork, and knife beside the dishes. We all eat fast, so we have time after dinner to play and sing in the basement, where Skye had previously left most of her instruments.

The first one to finish is Skye, putting her dish on the plate and rinsing, nearly washing it if it wasn't for Mom, telling her to stop and forcing her out of the sink. So now Skye's in the basement, waiting for us on the couch, maybe.

Upon swinging open the basement door, Skye sat on the couch, tuning her pretty electric guitar. She looks up and smiles at us briefly, focusing more on the instrument than us. The last bit of evening sun leaks through the curtains, which is the last bit we'll see today, as, by the time we get home later, the sacred night would cloak us in its darkness.

"Sing for us, Skye," Adrian offers her a smile, holding the ukelele out in front of her.

Skye laughs at his proposal, but her laughter dies down steadily when she realizes he's serious. "That was a one-time thing, Adrian."

"C'mon, Kuya isn't a singer; I don't wanna hear his voice."

"Rude," I cross my arms and push him onto the couch playfully. "I can sing, Skye. But you have to promise me next time we recreate a song, we have to sing together."

Skye nearly drops her electric, "Why? My voice isn't for singing."

"That's a lie; I've heard you sing," Adrian starts strumming random chords into our blue acoustic guitar. "You have a good voice."

"She does, does she?" I cross my arms, and both of us start to eye her.

"So low, I'm getting double-teamed," Skye chuckles, playfully swinging the ukelele at us. "I'll sing with you during our next jam session if you sing today, Andre."

Adrian slouches, frowning, "Damn, I gotta listen to this again."

"Be nice to your brother, Adrian," Skye ruffles his hair, a smile creeping upon his face.

I prepare the ukelele, sitting down in front of them and exhaling. "What song? What's the mood right now?"

Skye glances out the window, seeing the evening colours of the day. "It's peaceful. Quiet. And I'm thankful for that."

A song clicks in my head, and I nod, "Perfect. I know exactly what to sing. It has to be a bit slow, though."

The two sit attentively, Skye closing her eyes while she leans her head back against the cushions of the couch.

_"I see trees of green..."_

...

We sat quietly in the car, watching the multitude of houses pass by our windows until the car turns left at a stop sign. Skye watches out the window, whispering something to herself I can't quite hear. I glimpse back down at my phone, scrolling through Instagram and talking amongst some of our friends on Discord. We switched over to that platform, as it was easy to speak in, and the voice calls were high quality.

I switch between servers, talking to my friends from school, namely Josh Chavez and Peji, and others that play games with us, and this other one I found and joined on Tumblr. It's been a couple of months, but all of us seem pretty comfortable now. My idea is that I'd stay here as long as it's around to see where it goes. I love everyone so far, and aside from Marjorie and them, they were a reason I was saved from my thoughts. Thanks, HSSCA server, from Andre.

The airport is only a ten to fifteen-minute drive away from my house, disregarding the traffic. There isn't anything special, only that the road there leads to circle drive or Cynthia street. The cool thing about circle drive here in Saskatoon is that it loops around the city, a literal circle. I only found that out yesterday.

The car drives down the road, passing by the three hotels that people usually go to for stopovers since the buildings are so close to the airport itself. There are also many other shops, companies, services, and rent-a-car places around the area to give visitors an easier time finding what they need.

It's a domestic airport, with services inside the building like a Tim Hortons on the top floor and a cafe on the bottom floor. Unlike Timmies, anyone can dine in at the restaurant if they wanted. The food was excellent but overpriced as per usual. The gift shop inside also had exciting souvenirs but also overpriced. The vending machines and convenience stores are like any other, but I usually just bring food from home. Maybe today I'll get some chips or sprite for the four of us, including my cousin Paolo.

My dad enters a parking space, the three of us hopping out of the car. Adrian and I beeline for carts our dad ordered us to get.

"You two are here," Paolo beckons for us, nearly bumping into the cart. "Geez, watch it."

"You clearly saw me first," I bite back at him, laughing. "You wanna push it?"

"No," He laughs, his eyes finding Skye waiting by the crosswalk. "Is that the girl your parents talk about with mine? Is she nice?"

I nod, "Yeah, she's friendly. Just a bit distant when you first meet her, so try not to talk to her too much."

Pao understands, sucking in his bottom lip and gesturing me to start walking. We meet up with Skye, Paolo, right next to Adrian and me at the very end.

"This is my cousin, by the way," I nudge Skye's shoulder, her blue eyes glimmering under the now flickering orange lights of the airport's roof. "Paolo."

"Hi," Skye greets him with her usual dryness, keeping her eyes peeled ahead. She rushes over at the door, pressing the handicap button so the three of us with carts can get through.

"Thanks," Paolo says to her, grinning awkwardly before following Adrian and me. "Is it true--"

I hush him, shaking my head, "I can't answer any questions you have about her. All you can do now is try and be her friend in the long-run."

Paolo unusually obliges, as he'd be stubborn enough to keep asking. He realizes that the situation she's in is serious and just bows his head and keeps walking.

There are three entrances to the airport on the bottom floor, one leading to the arrivals and baggage pick-up, one leading to booking or leaving on a flight, and the main entrance.

Paolo's dad snatches one of the carts from him, and my parents also take Adrian, and I's away. Paolo gestures excitedly at the far end of the airport, where the couches and tables are, and windows that showcase planes landing, leaving or remaining stationary for passengers to board. 

"ANDRE! PLANES!" He jumps, jogging toward the far end of the airport. "LET'S GO TO THE PLANES!"

The departures' screening and security also took place around the Prairie People's Showcase exhibit, vending machines and a sort of 'waiting area' with the couches and tables. A T.V. is mounted on the wall, flashing between departures and the weather around some destinations.

The little alcove containing the exhibit has permanent displays that include partnerships with The Diefenbaker Centre of Canada and the Saskatchewan Aviation Council. Local artists are also rotated throughout the year.

Skye plops down onto the couch, staring intently at the arrow pointing to the exhibit but also scanning over the gift shop to the left, blocked by some pillar. The convenience store is straight ahead of us, and the cafe is just slightly out of view.

"It's my first time here," she admits, whispering. "When my aunts and uncles came, they usually took a taxi to our house. I always wondered why my parents didn't bother to just pick them up, but then again..."

I stretch, yawning and sprawling out onto the couch, setting my head down on Skye's lap. "You wanna explore?"

"Maybe," she rubs my forehead and messes with my hair. "I didn't know you could win a car here, either. How lovely."

Laughing, I pull my phone out of my pocket and take a selfie of us two, Skye uncommonly throwing a peace sign up. "We'll be able to see my grandma and grandpa up in the balcony's windows soon."

"Andre, let's get some food," Paolo suggests, slapping my legs out of the way, forcing me to sit up.

"At the cafe? I ain't made out of money."

"No, the vending machines," Paolo points. "I got a ten in my phone case right now. Skye, do you want anything?"

Her body jars briefly, surprised by the sudden offer my cousin made. "Oh! No, it's okay. I had dinner already."

Paolo shrugs, beckoning Adrian and me to come along to the vending machine. Skye follows closely behind me, making a right around the corner toward the exhibit.

"Buy me Hickory Sticks, Pao. Please," I put $2.75 in his hand, then wave at Skye, reading the wall of famous pilots from Saskatchewan. Right next to it is more history, this time of the planes and the routes they took during the early years of Saskatoon.

I walk past Skye, right behind her, looking at the plane's models. Right behind that is a large screen. Below it is a platform-mounted onto the wall with some descriptions of what is displayed on the screen.

Right next to the info is a vintage radio. People can switch between old radio stories and the voice of one of Saskatoon's mayors back in the 50s-60s. But these attractions get rotated out every now and then, so this radio may not be here in a couple of weeks.

Paolos whistles at me, tossing me the chips from across the alcove, and I catch it with precision.

"Thanks," I rip open the top, tossing a handful of sticks in my mouth.

Skye slides up next to me, bending down to read the small text on the radio and the writing describing an old fighter jet Saskatchewan may have provided during one of the world wars.

Behind us are old photos of people from the aviation council throughout the years and the plane models from earlier. Skye grazes her hand on a glazed wooden plane, humming delightfully.

"I'm happy you took me here," she gulps, her eyes fixated on the replicas. "My parents travelled before, but they never took--" she hiccups.

She reaches into my bag of chips, throwing her head back and dropping the sticks into her mouth. "They never took me, even if it was a vacation. My dad especially didn't wanna take me because of the way I started dressing."

I reluctantly wrap an arm around her, pulling her closer until her shoulder is against my chest. "We'll explore some more, and if travelling the world is what you want, then maybe during one of the breaks we could go somewhere with our friends," I reassure her, pecking the top of her head and rubbing her shoulder. "Right now, let's look at more of the airport stuff, m'kay?"

Usually, people our ages never really found it fun to go to the airport, but it's Skye's first time. Even though the place isn't exciting, it's a new experience that she'll always remember.

"Pao, let's give Skye a tour of the airport," I call after him, Adrian turning around as well. "Show us the farther end, by the booking centre."

He nods, waiting for us to catch up behind him before he begins walking. Skye gently pushes me off her, sliding her hand down my arm to hold my own, her grip tightening as we lag behind Paolo.

"Two tours in two days," I glance down at her.

"Fun."

We stop by the doors in front of the booking centre, Paolo putting his hands together, snickering awkwardly.

"This is uh, the booking centre," he laughs aloud this time, Skye stifling her own. "And it's where you book your flights if you wanna leave for a bit, or forever. Either or."

He turns around, using both his hands to point at the logos on top of each airline. "Alright, so we got Air Canada, West Jet, then Delta and FlySwoop. FlySwoop gets rotated out for other airlines depending on who comes and goes."

I smirk, whispering in Skye's ear, "Paolo used to have an airplane collection when he was a kid. He was so obsessed to the point where he was watching planes taking off, and at one time, trains leaving the station--"

"HEY!" He screams, stomping his foot. "I watched those because I wanted to be a pilot! And as a result, I know everything now. That's why I'm your tour guide."

Skye giggles, shaking her head. "Alright, Mr. Tour Guide. Tell me something about those vending machines next to the two random chairs in the wall."

Paolo nods, "Follow me," He beckons. "You see that T.V? Shows the available flights and also the departures and the delays for flights coming back. There are three vending machines here. A coffee/hot chocolate brewing machine, a machine for snacks like chips and chocolate that has tampons, medicine and goggles for some reason, and a drink vending machine."

Skye respectfully bows her head, signalling Pao to continue on.

We walk past the convenience store, Paolo explaining that and as well as the cafe.

"You can win that car if you enter a raffle," Paolo explains vaguely. "I think, don't take my word for it."

He then points to a stand in the middle of the area, just before you reach the baggage-retrieval area, which gives info about Saskatoon and hands out pamphlets.

"There's a children's play place, washrooms right beside it, and another vending machine right there next to the arrivals."

Skye finds the rest of our family with some of my other relatives who had just shown up. She sits about three chairs away from one of my aunts, and I sit to the left of her, with Adrian and Paolo sitting in front of us.

"How interesting was that?" Paolo quips, leaning forward.

Skye chuckles, "10/10 level tour of the airport," She glances over at my family, just talking amongst themselves. "Do they know who I am?"

I hesitantly nod, putting a careful hand on her lap. "Don't worry. All good things."

She looks down, brushing her bicep. "I never knew so many people could know about... my situation back at home. I'm just glad they aren't so trigger happy with calling the cops or CPS."

"Kuya Andre!" Two children's voices call my name, my eyes alert, trying to find the familiar faces.

I pretend to look under the chair, Skye obviously confused as well as who'd called me. Still, I suddenly shift my attention behind me, screaming after Emma and Ethan. They laugh and giddily crawl away from where they were hiding.

"Come here!" I gesture, kneeling down to hug the two kids who nearly topple me over if it weren't for Skye holding me up from behind.

The kids back away after seeing Skye, their faces contorting at the sight of the redhead.

"Her hair is so pretty," Emma's voice has matured since the last time I'd seen her, but it still has that childish ring to it. "Can I borrow your lipstick?"

Emma approaches her, Skye instinctively backing away slightly. She stares up, bewildered. "What's your name, lady?"

"Uhm, Skye."

"Like the sky? Like in the air?" Ethan takes his sister's side, tilting his head innocently.

I stay kneeling down, Skye stiffening, unable to move. She seems so fearful of the kids, but she'd been chased by a few at Pike Lake.

"No, it's Skye with an e."

Ethan laughs out loud, holding his stomach, "Hello, Skye-With-An-E!"

Her blue eyes glare at me, "It just runs in the family, huh?"

I shrug, "Kids, don't scare Skye off. She's here to visit us."

"Is she your friend?" Emma turns around, hands behind her back and swaying back and forth.

I look back and forth between Skye and her, helpless to find words to answer her. "She's-- Uh- uhm--"

"Is she your new girlfriend?!" Ethan hollers out, alerting my family members who are directly behind Skye.

Skye's eyes go wide, the redness in her face flushing pale, even brighter than her already fair skin.

Adrian and Paolo's mouths gape open, and I kneel there, frozen, losing track of time. Why the hell would Ethan think of something like that to say? Then again, he is a kid, but two of my cousins have girlfriends, and they're one of the ones staring as well.

I chuckle awkwardly, standing up gently to prevent earthquakes from shaking the ground below us. "She's just a friend, Ethan. Don't say those things."

Emma nods, glancing back at Skye and nearing her closer this time. "Can I see the lipstick you use?"

Ethan walks away, going to my Ate Tracy, who had called after him after making that scene. Come to think of it, the kids have never been this forward before. They've always been so shy meeting new people, and I know this for certain because when they first met Ate Tracy's boyfriend, they avoided him like the plague, so shy of meeting him.

The same went for my friends when they were over during the may. Avoided them like it was their life's purpose.

I guess what Quinn said was true, about kids being particular about the goodness in people's hearts. That's not to say that Trace's boyfriend and my friends don't have good hearts, but it took those two a while to open up because of pure shyness.

Skye reluctantly sits down in her same spot, glancing back and forth at me for reassurance. I nod at her solemnly, indicating to her that I'd leave her alone. I'd noticed my niece in the crowd of my ten or more relatives; I hadn't seen her in a while.

I look back to see Skye and Emma talking, Emma holding the lipstick gently in her fingers. Skye seems a bit stiff still, but Adrian and Paolo there across from them are making it easier for her, even though they aren't paying attention.

After greeting my little niece and my nephew, I return to Skye and Emma, sitting beside the kid.

"You two getting along?"

"Yes," Emma nods excitedly. "Skye said her lipstick gives her magic goth powers!"

I shake my head at Skye, biting my bottom lip to hold in my laugh. "Yes, she's actually a witch, Emma," I lean forward, pecking Emma's forehead gently. "She's very, very secretive of her powers. So don't tell anyone, okay?"

Emma scrunches her nose, still with a bright smile. "I won't tell no one."

She hops off the chair, returning Skye's lipstick to her before sauntering off toward her little brother. I scooch over, finding Skye's eyes.

"She's gonna keep asking her mom for black lipstick now," I warn her jokingly. "So inspirational."

"Why do kids like me so much? Like, two kids have never looked at me like that," Skye scratches her neck. "I thought I'd frighten most people away with this look."

"Well. Kids are like cats. They find the one person in the room who's allergic to them, and that's who they decide to love."

"Love?" Skye sounds perplexed, tilting her head at me with questioning eyes.

"Well, they don't love you like that, yet. It's just kids will find it easy to love things, even when they don't understand it," I think, rubbing my chin. "It's because they don't ask big questions about those sorta things, they just kinda do it. Sometimes I think kids are wiser than us because it's hard for people our age and older to love. After all, there's fear there, insecurities."

Skye peeps down at her feet, and I leave her alone to think. She sits there for a long time until Nanay and Tatay come through the gates, all of my family, including myself, bombarding them with hugs and kisses and words telling them we'd missed them.

Until my Nanay notices Skye and beckons her to come nearer.

"Who... Who--"

 _"Tagalogan mo nlang, po,"_ I try my best to tell her to speak Tagalog instead and that I could translate.

She shakes her head, waving her handkerchief at me. "Who-- are-- you?"

"I'm Skye, _po_ ," her accent has gotten better after talking to some of Marjorie's family members. _"Mano po?"_

Nanay taps the back of her hand on Skye's forehead, smiling widely.

Skye calmly does the same to Tatay, both of them asking her a series of questions that they could ask in English, and of course, they got answers they couldn't understand that well.

She's rightfully nervous, and I nearly step in, but Ate Tracy takes Skye's side, telling her with her eyes that she was there to help. I stay near Skye, reassuring her with taps on the shoulder to let her know I'm near.

I overhear one of my aunts telling my mom that since it's almost midnight at the moment, we'd be having the gathering tomorrow evening at my Kuya Ryan's house. Some of those same aunts even approach Skye with their questions. Of course, casual questions, not personal, and Skye handles them well, but her face is so pale someone might mistake her for a ghost.

She shivers next to me as we walk to the baggage pick-up, stopping just short of the conveyor belts carrying baggage. My dad handles the boxes our relatives from the Phillippines sent over to us. I haul the larger luggage onto the empty cart Paolo's dad is pushing around.

We walk through the doors finally, after much talking between Nanay and Tatay and multiple relatives, and the chilly night breeze hits us refreshingly. I sigh in relief, realizing that it was hotter inside the airport than I initially thought it was.

"You coming tomorrow?" I ask Skye, pushing the cart over a crosswalk.

"I may as well. I mean, it'd be a disappointment to the family since most, if not all of them saw me and some also talked to me," Skye crosses her arms, cold. I stop pushing for a second, pulling off my sweater and surprising her by putting it on top of her. "Thanks."

We load up the trunk of the car, all my uncles and my dad agreeing to just drop off the boxes at our house tomorrow in the morning. Paolo says good-bye to the three of us, including Tristan and Tracy and the kids.

Skye silently sits in the back seat, pricking the fabric of the sweater I put on her.

"Keep that sweater for tonight, Skye," I tell her as we close in near her home.

She yawns, nodding in agreement, too tired to argue now. My dad had asked her if she had a key, and she nodded again, squeezing out of the car, only talking to say good-bye to Nanay and Tatay, who reciprocates her grin. We wait outside for her until she opens the door and safely goes inside her mansion.

The drive home is quiet, only the stars giving me a conversation on the short drive home.

_4:39 p.m.  
_ _July 29, 2019_

Skye's POV

I snake an arm around Andre's, approaching the front door of his cousin's house rapidly. The neighbourhood here is close to mine, maybe a block or two away. It's nearer to the two elementary schools that had been recently built in the heart of Hampton Village, about three years ago.

"Hi, Andre! Where are your parents?" The lady's eyes shift and find me standing next to Andre. "Is this--"

Andre nods, interrupting her, "Yes, this is Skye, Ate Lori. My parents are getting something in the van with Nanay and Tatay."

I barely lift a hand to wave, bowing my head before walking inside the house with Andre. We unlink arms, slipping off our shoes and hearing high-pitched barks of a dog edging closer and closer to us.

This tiny pomeranian runs the corner, stopping about a foot in front of me and timidly lifting a paw while sniffing the air around me. I kneel down, holding my hand out for the pup to sniff, her snout cold and moist grazing my fingertips.

"Go ahead, Skye," Andre encourages me, sitting on the stairs in front of the door, moving the baby-gate aside. "Lucy won't snap at you."

"Not usually," Ate Lori, who Andre had mentioned in the car being his cousin's wife, nervously hovers over them. "Kuya Andre, don't forget to put the baby-gate back."

Andre flashes her a thumbs-up, standing up and gesturing me to follow him around the corner where Lucy had come from.

I move past Ate Lori, seeing a man sitting at a dining room table and two women sitting on the couch.

They greet Andre, telling him to come to them. He smiles before hugging them tenderly.

"You've met Skye, yes?" Andre points at me after letting go of the embrace.

"Oh, no, I haven't said anything to her," one of the ladies says.

My heartbeat quickens when I inch closer to the two, almost losing my voice until I muster up the courage to say, _'mano po.'_

"Bless you," his aunt says, and I repeat the same gesture to the other lady sitting on another couch.

Us three have a short conversation, answering their questions about school and how I was. What makes me smile is how kind they are with their words and how gentle they sound when asking me how I am. It's still strange knowing that random people know about something that's been closeted my entire life. However, it feels rejuvenating, talking to adults who care about me and how I feel.

I sit next to Andre, sitting across from his cousin, who's having a sip of some water while fidgeting with his phone.

Our backs are facing the sliding glass door that leads to the backyard. I glance behind me briefly and notice a neat, spaced out garden just past the deck's porch.

I clear my throat nervously. "What do you guys grow back there?"

The man looks up quickly, smiling, "Uh, er, you'll have to ask Lori. I don't do much gardening."

"We grow tulips and vegetables," Ate Lori answers, setting up the island counter with trays of food and a bowl of rice.

By now, Nanay and Tatay, and Andre's parents are spaced out around the living room couches, a random news channel on the T.V. playing out over their talking. Lucy's barking alerts me again, seeing a taller guy walk around the corner into space.

"Hi, Chen," Andre greets him, his eyes falling back down on his phone.

He motions towards us, leaning over the table. "Who's this, Andre?"

"This is Skye," Andre finally looks up from his phone, staring right at me.

Chen snickering, reaching over and patting Andre's shoulder. "This is the 5th girl this past month; what the hell?"

I raise my eyebrow at both of them, Andre laughing loudly. "Don't scare her like that. You know what happened to me."

"Yeah, you brought four girls home in June," Chen laughs, Andre's face flushing red, trying so hard to stifle his laughs.

For a moment, I think he's serious until Paolo chimes in suddenly, taking Chen's side at the table.

"What we laughing about, boys?"

"Andre's five girls he took home."

Paolo confusedly scrunches his face, "He hasn't taken anyone home?"

Chen disappointedly palms his own face, sighing sadly. "Nevermind, you got me," He concedes, darting behind him after seeing another girl walking into the room.

"I almost thought you actually did that," I nudge Andre's shoulder. "...Did you?"

Andre scoffs, "If you saw me in June, you'd know the answer."

Paolo stares at him, clearly disturbed by something. "Where's Adying?" He attempts to change the subject.

"Upstairs in the guest room," Andre answers, reaching past me to grab a small chocolate bar. "Feel comfy, yet?"

I shrug, "It's alright. Still kind of in a new environment."

"You'll be fine," Paolo chimes optimistically. "We're all very nice."

"Says you," Andre quips, tossing Pao a fun-sized chocolate bar.

"Oh, shut up," he rips it open, eating it whole. "I bet I'm nicer than you."

The two bicker some more, getting shushed by who I think is their Kuya Ryan right next to Paolo. Andre and Paolo laugh at their own banter, being called over my Ate Lori holding a stack of styrofoam plates.

"You four boys," She calls upon Andre, Kuya Chen, Pao, and Kuya Ryan. "Come eat."

Chen replies in Tagalog, shaking his head. I'm assuming he'd just declined her offer to eat dinner and that he'd already eaten before coming here. Kuya Ryan also says no, this time in English.

Paolo and Andre get up, Andre turning to face me. "You wanna eat, too?"

"May as well," I follow the two boys closely behind.

Paolo passes me a plate with a plastic spoon and fork. I scan over the food and only recognize fried chicken and spaghetti. I scoop myself some spaghetti eagerly, having tasted Filipino style spaghetti before. I also put a drumstick onto my plate and a little rice on the side. Andre gets about the same but also pours some stew over his rice.

"Is that what you call adobo?" I ask curiously, causing a reaction out of Ate Lori.

"Your accent is better than I expect," She inquires, grinning at Andre. "Did he teach you? I'd be surprised since Andre barely speaks Tagalog at all."

I gulp, straightening my back. "Yes, he and some of our other friends teach me some words. I hadn't realized my accent had gotten better, though."

"You won't always notice it yourself most of the time," She shakes her head, proudly gazing at me. "How'd you and Andre meet?"

Andre and I exchange a shy glance, him clearing his throat as I begin to speak.

"You can speak," we both speak at the same time, stirring up laughter between us.

"You go," Andre offers, holding out a hand.

"I'd appreciate it if you went, though," I argue back, turning to face him, holding the plate of food in my hands.

The girl Kuya Chen approached earlier gets in between us, putting a hand on her hips. "We can hear your argument from there; please figure it out," she addresses us jokingly. "Andre, be a gentleman and talk for her."

Andre apprehensively swallows hard, his face glowing. "Uh, we first saw each other at Midtown, but we didn't talk to each other until we met up again at Riverlanding with some friends. One of my friends, Marjorie, ran into her a little while after I had and convinced her to come to hang out."

"You make it sound so boring," I shake my head, heading to the dining table to eat.

The entire story would be a long one; despite only being friends for almost a month, I could probably stretch it out about as long as it felt to me, at least.

I see Ate Lori and Kuya Ryan switch spots from the corner of my eye, her sitting across from me. I hear her ask him to get something, but I'm too focused on eating to listen to anything right now unless someone directly talks to me.

"I said tea, _mahal_ , _"_ Ate Lori eyes the plate of cake quizzically.

Kuya Ryan tilts his head, "You said cake."

"No," She takes a bite anyway, snickering. "I said tea."

She quickly turns her head to face Andre, "What'd he say, Kuya Andre?"

"Tea," Andre says.

"Cake," Kuya Ryan insists, now sitting down next to his wife.

"Skye," Ate Lori startles me. "What'd he say?"

I peer at them, puzzled, "Uh, tea."

"See!" Ate Lori triumphantly points at Kuya Ryan, who smiles tenderly at all of us. "I'll get the tea, though. It's fine."

The four of us conversate, meandering back and forth about the 'cake-tea' dilemma and if Ate Lori actually said one or the other. Andre's mom approaches us, calling him aside as I'm left with them.

He comes back no less than three minutes later.

"Hey, I'm gonna have to go get the kids from Tita Ashton's house," He points his thumb behind him. "You good here alone?"

"Yeah," My mind eases, knowing that I'd see Emma again, such an adorable kid. I normally can't tolerate children, especially after what happened during our camping trip. However, I'd never seen a kid as calm and collected as Emma and still be as hyper and outgoing as most. "Be careful. It's almost dark."

He pokes my forehead before leaving, jogging toward the front door. Hearing it shut pumps my anxiety deeper into my veins, making my heartbeat quicken.

The girl whose name is Iana, Kuya Chen's girlfriend, I think, slides into Andre's spot.

"I don't know if any of them had said anything to you, but we all think you're very pretty," She compliments me, the anxiety rocking my brain so much I think I might pass out. "Are you okay?"

I go for my cup of water, drinking it fast to ease the tension in my chest. "I'm fine, just a bit jittery," I admit honestly. "You're Kuya Chen's girlfriend?"

Iana's eyes light up, amazed, "Your accent is great!"

"See, that's what I said!" Ate Lori beams, sprawling her hands out onto the table. "You two staying here? There's plenty of space on the rug there."

Iana nods, "Mhm," Ryan and Lori saunter off into the waiting arms of their relatives, who giggle at something one of the ladies says. Nanay and Tatay seem happy to be back but appear to be quite tired from the jetlag.

"How long ago did you and Andre meet?" She starts off, a grin spreading across her face.

I repeat what Andre had told Ate Lori before we ate dinner, Iana delightfully bringing her hands together.

"That's nice," Her eyes flicker. "I'm surprised at how much Andre values you; I haven't seen him look at anyone that way."

I stare at her perplexed, putting a strand of hair behind my ear and biting my lip to suffocate my smile, though it doesn't help that well anyway. "Even with his last girlfriend?"

"The way he looked at his last girlfriend was like someone looking for validation, you know what I mean?" Iana furrows her brows. "It's like she never thought he was good enough for her. But with you, he looks at you with trust and probably feels safe around you."

Funny how she says that when it's the exact opposite. I can't recall a time where I'd made Andre feel safe. It pains me to think that the hidden battles he goes through everyday stay within him, so caught up in his own battles that he can't take the time to look at who's in his corner.

"Don't look so nervous around us, okay?" Iana catches me off guard, my heart thundering and my chest warming. "I was nervous when I met their family too, but now we're all happy together. You just gotta be yourself."

I grimace at those words. Sometimes I don't even know who I am, being subject to my parents' tricks, making me question the tiniest things. Iana observes my expressions, and I can't help but stare down at the floor, exhaling heavily.

"How do I-- know? If they like me," I glance at the family around the living room, watching a movie and still chatting amongst themselves. "I haven't said a peep. I just did the _mano po_ thing and said hello and answered their questions."

"You're doing fine; it's your first time here! Don't rush yourself," Iana mutters, sipping from her own cup. "How long have you and Andre been together since you two met?"

Her words almost make me choke on my water, "Oh! We aren't together."

"No title yet, huh?" She smirks, winking at me. I take a gander out the window again to check if my reflection hasn't flushed red either.

I shake my head, uncertain of what a title even means for both of us. "No titles yet," my voice trails off. "How can I be sure that they're going to like me? I mean, first impressions matter."

Iana rubs her chain, sighing dejectedly, "Okay, between you and me, most of their relatives were super angry after how Andre's last relationship ended. They were so damn scared for him that they forbade him to date after a while, probably a long time."

My heart leaps into my throat; maybe they were only acting nice to me because I was a guest?

"And?" I question, my curiosity peaking.

"The first time we'd heard about you was when Andre's mom told us about the girl in his bed. I assume that was you," Iana leans in her chair, thinking. "We misunderstood her, thinking he was there in the bed with you, but no. He was on the couch. It'd look like he took care of you after a wild night."

I lean forward, interested. I remember that night vividly, the pills in my head trying to convince me to end it all right then and there. Thank God I didn't.

"When asked about what happened, he explained everything," Iana continues. "And she's also told us about after that day, about how timid you first were with them, but being so kind at the same time. They trusted you. Andre's mom trusted you, which is tough because she's been having trust issues with even his closest friends, just because of what Indigo did."

My blood boils, hearing her name again, but I wet my lips, gently pushing off the chair. "I'm gonna get more water," I pick up my cup and smile at Iana thankfully.

The sound of Lucy warns me again, but I only see Andre and the kids, as well as their parents, come into view from the hall.

"Skye-With-An-E!" Ethan chants, both he and Emma running into my legs and latching onto them.

I look for Andre for help, but they push off, staring up at me with wide, glistening eyes.

"They were talking about how badly they wanted to see you," Andre puts a hand on both their shoulders. "But they were still so slow to get ready!"

The kids beam at him, shoving him away.

I sigh, rolling my eyes and kneeling.

"Leave your cousin alone," I beckon them, extending my arms out wide. "Hug me properly."

Andre's eyes sparkle at my sudden gesture, but he nods approvingly of me, walking over to the living room to say hi to his parents.

"Adying still upstairs?" He asks distantly.

"With Paolo," his mom replies.

I stand up after tightly hugging the two kids. I never thought my heart could warm up to these little things, but these two had left quite an impression on me yesterday.

"Who's that, Emma?" Her mom walks over toward the island counter, where I had retrieved water. She acknowledges me with a grin, happily giving Emma a plate to get food.

I pivot my feet together, holding out my hand to shake hers.

"I'm Skye. I came here with Andre's family."


	46. Bubblegum

_6:47 p.m.  
_

_July 30, 2019_

Skye's POV

After a day filled with Andre's family yesterday, I thought it'd be the end of it for a while. But he texted me earlier, asking me to come to another family gathering, this time on his dad's side. I almost forgot his dad's side also lived in Saskatoon.

Funnily enough, most of his cousins on this side are his age and younger, aside from Lance, of course, who was the oldest. Both boys did mention two older cousins that had moved back to their hometown in California a while ago.

I overthink this time around, knowing how judgemental teens were and how different this side of the family could be. They're irrational thoughts, though, as Andre and Lance always talked so highly of their cousins. Maybe they'd react differently to me, or perhaps the whole family wouldn't accept me like his mom's side did.

Andre never mentioned his dad's side, knowing about my situation at home, so these people may not have any idea who I am.

I lag behind Adrian and Andre while we walk down the sidewalk. We had to park a little way away from the house because of the other cars occupying the area.

The boys haven't said a word until I see a familiar face walking up toward the front doorstep.

"Lance!" Andre calls. This time, I get in between the two brothers.

"Oh, Skye!" Lance acknowledges me first, shifting his attention to us.

Andre slumps his back, "Wow, I said hi first."

He raises his brow, "Well, I didn't know she was coming with you guys. You've been hogging her since camping ended."

Andre laughs, putting a hand on his shoulder and motioning forward, "You're funny! Let's go before our cousins think we dipped out again."

I look around us and behind me to gaze into the street, then whistle at Lance. "No, Julianna?"

"Busy," He says, dejectedly. "Family-business, too."

"I see."

I feel a bit calmer now, understanding these two boys wouldn't disappoint me or leave me alone. It's comforting to be with people you already know a little well.

Adrian offers to let us first, but Andre gestures him to go through, us three lagging behind. About ten people are already in the living room, some sitting on chairs that are against the wall, and about four sitting on the couches situated against the windows.

The eyes on me send a chill down my spine, but after a few smiles coming my way, I greet them with a nod.

I lean in close to Andre's ear, "Do I _mano_ them, too?"

"If you want," He goes over to who I think is his grandma and grandpa and greets them. "Come."

He motions his hands at me, my feet moving involuntarily. "This is my Lola and Lolo," Andre introduces them and offers them a hand. "I've told them about you."

Their smiles are tender and accepting, Lola leaning in to peck my cheek.

 _"Ang ganda nito, Christian,"_ she teasingly pokes at his rib, his face glowing red, but he makes no attempt to hide it.

I do the same to his aunts, most of them only saying hello softly to me as I went one by one down the couches. This one lady enthusiastically kisses my cheek, gasping at me and saying, "You're so pretty! Are you Andre's girlfriend?"

My eyes go wide, and I can't help but glance back at him, his hand covering his mouth in embarrassment. Lance elbows his shoulder in amusement, giggling at the expense of Andre's sanity.

"Ah, no, _tita,_ she's not my girlfriend," He gulps, beckoning me to follow him and Lance.

I move toward him, noticing the shelf mounted on the wall with pretty decorations, like an Eiffel tower and pictures of the family who live here. A set of twins and two other baby girls in this family photo are framed by a lovely floral picture frame. Next to it is a bike, the ones with the large front wheel, and also lots of pots of tiny flowers.

I move through this corridor, seeing the kitchen in the corner of my eye before entering it. The setup is very similar to how most gatherings are, no chairs at the kitchen table as they'd be used for seats around the house. And on top of the table are the multiple foods, and desserts guests can dine into. There's a birthday cake at the very top, right in the middle overlooking the food below it.

They turn the corner into this tiny room, a baby's room. Five people are sitting down on the floor, a boy around Paolo's age and four girls. Adrian moves past me, immediately taking a seat right next to one of the girls, who's back is up against the wall next to a dresser.

"You two made it," One of the girls says, her eyes locking onto me, squinting politely. "And this must be the girl you and Lance talk about."

I wave awkwardly, "I'm Skye, hi."

"You can rhyme!" She quips. "I'm Colleen!"

There's a moment of silence, Andre sitting next to Colleen, curling his legs and Lance remaining where he is, standing near the door.

"Introduce yourselves, too!" Colleen waves her hands at everyone, the other girls laughing uncomfortably.

"I'm Kira; nice to meet you, Skye," The girl next to Adrian chimes, nodding.

The other girl clears her throat, "It's Andrea."

"Gwen," She waves.

"And I'm Justin," the boy in the corner bobs his head, his hair moving along with it.

Kira gestures me to sit, tapping the floor in front of her. "Come sit; we were about to start some card and board games."

"Oh, what kind?" I sit against another dresser, the one near Lance.

She digs into a tiny reusable bag, pulling out a standard deck of cards, Uno, and a familiar board game, Clue. It's different from the one Andre owns, with a smaller box and a more modern look.

"You know how to play Uno and Clue, right?" Kira softly grins at me.

I swallow hard, opting to be quiet for now. I might come off as timid by the end of this night, but there will be other times where I gather with Andre and Lance's cousins. Still, the thoughts cloud my own common sense, thinking back to last school year, of how people around my age treated me after learning about my issues. I tell myself it can't happen again and that new people I meet won't be like those kids, even though I can't be entirely sure.

I nod apprehensively.

"What do you guys wanna play first?" Colleen glances around the room. "Uno first?"

"How about Bullshit first?" Andre suggests, pointing at the standard deck. "It'll warm us up."

Justin smirks smugly, "Wouldn't Uno warm us up first? It requires less thinking."

The cousins argue among themselves, except Lance, who's still down looking at his phone and ow sitting next to me. Andrea and Andre, funnily enough, wanna play the game they call Bullshit, and opposing them are the rest of the cousins.

"Lance?" Andre tosses him a coin. "Flip it heads or tails for the game."

He stares at them for a moment, not knowing what to do. Something clicks, however, tossing the coin back at Andre and then turning his head to me.

"Skye has the last vote. I'm neutral," He planned this. Of course, he'd set me up and put me on the spot to force me to interact with them.

"Uh, I'm neutral, too," I try getting out of this, shaking my head him slightly.

He snickers, recognizing precisely what he's doing. "I called neutrality first, you go."

The eyes land on me again, my heart racing. Right after this party, I might follow Lance home and murder him.

I glare at him, sighing heavily and biting my lip. "Bullshit first, I guess. It's the only game I don't know how to play."

"Alright then, it's settled," Colleen reaches for the cards, unpacking and shuffling them smoothly. "Here's how the game goes, Skye."

Basically, we get dealt cards until the entire deck is distributed among all of us. The game works like this, we have to continue putting down the cards clockwise in consecutive ascending order. For example, if the first player put down one or more aces, the next player should put down one or more twos, the third should put down three or more twos, and so on. When it's your turn, and you put down your cards, you have to say, "One ace," "two twos," or "three kings," and so on. You may not actually have the cards that you need to put down -- the fun is in faking it.

It's a game where we have to get rid of all the cards in our hands, lying if we don't have the next card in the proper order. However, if someone or you suspect that someone had lied, that player must call "bullshit" on anyone who you think is lying.

If you know someone is lying because you have the cards they claim to have in your hand, because they're getting low on cards, or just because you have a feeling they're not telling the truth, then call "bullshit!" after the person puts down his cards and announces what they are.

If the person had lied, they get the pile of cards in the middle, but if they told the truth, the person who called Bullshit must pick up the cards instead.

Simple enough, I don't think this will be intense at all. It's all deception and strategy; you gotta play your cards right.

_..._

"THAT'S BULLSHIT, ADRIAN, DON'T EVEN PUT IT DOWN," I scream, the others' backs on the floor, rolling in laughter.

Adrian slaps his face, yelling at me jokingly.

Okay, I may have been wrong about this being an intense game because no one could get the right hand of cards to put down in proper order for the last thirty minutes. By now, I've narrowed my hand to about ten cards, having all the twos and three of the fours. I was thinking about lying and putting two fours and two twos down in different turns, but the order wasn't in my favour. I need to buy time, so I can put these numbers down at the right time.

I can't just put down all my twos, or else if someone calls Bullshit, they'd have the full set of numbers to use against me.

Andre hesitates to put a card down, staring at us suspiciously. He'd been doing this continuously, to deter us away from calling Bullshit. He acts suspicious on purpose to make us consider not calling anything at all unless they had the right cards.

The next cards that have to be placed are the queen then the king. Luckily for me, I had a queen and a king. I could lie and put down both of them. Unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to place down any twos or fours. After me, the next players are Lance, Justin, Colleen, Kira, Andrea, Gwen, and then Adrian.

"Two queens," I swiftly drop the cards.

"Pick that shit back up, Skye," Andre casually shuffles through his cards. "Yeah, pick that up."

What the hell, how? He must have had three queens. I glare at him, stifling my laughter as the others' giggles echo in the room. I burst out, my futile attempt of holding in my chuckling, causing a ripple effect in the others laughing, too.

"THIS GAME HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR TOO LONG!" Colleen falls down onto the floor, throwing her cards against the wall. "I CAN'T! I MIGHT GIVE UP!"

"NO, DON'T, WE NEED YOU TO STAY," I halt her, putting the pile of cards into my hand.

Oh man, I might quit too. I think there's no coming back from this.

Lance puts cards down, and then Justin, who has to pick them up immediately as Adrian had all the aces.

Colleen shrieks, refusing to put down any more cards. "I give up; Kira won already."

Kira discards her entire hand of threes, pumping her fast and letting herself drop down onto the carpet in relief. "Fucking hell," she pants. "Alright, can Andre get us food yet?"

"Seriously?" He gets up, patting down his pants. "Just set up Uno. Chicken wings?"

Everyone nods, including me. I'd been hungry since I got here, and dinner had completely slipped my mind in the middle of the game we were playing.

"Get us drinks, too!" Gwen whistles. "Three ice teas, a coke, a sprite, root-beer and, whatever Skye and Justin want."

"Just a water, Andre," I sit back up against the dresser, Lance setting himself down beside me again.

"I'll just come with you," Justin hops up, shivering slightly before both boys walk through the door.

Lance sighs, twirling around the corner of the dresser and following them as well.

The room's environment calms down to peaceful quietness, the girls now on their phones, and Adrian shuffling and dealing out Uno cards.

"So, Skye," Colleen slides across the floor, approaching me. She stops right at Justin's spot before he'd left with Andre, her careful smile radiating. "How long have you and Andre been together?"

The question catches me off guard, the misunderstanding many people have about Andre, and I are mind-boggling. Just because he brings a girl over to a party, they automatically assume I'm his girlfriend.

Too bad I can't say how long we've been together, because, since the day we met, we've only ever been friends. Maybe if that date does go well, we'll be something more. It's only a matter of time until the day comes, anyway.

"Uh, we're not official or anything," I try to piece together the words in my head, but it's all garbled mush at this point. "Just talking stuff out and taking it slow."

Colleen tilts her head. "Yeah, so how long ago was that?" She asks, her voice polite and respectful.

I don't know if she means the day we met or the day we were both in the know about our feelings for each other.

"Hm, three weeks and a day."

Colleen's eyes bat at me, "Awwwe, you remembered the extra day." She teases.

"Oh shush," I laugh nervously, scratching my head. "Just to let you know, I find it hard to answer questions, so if you have another one, I refuse to answer."

Kira glances around the room, sitting down in front of me. "He probably doesn't tell you this, for obvious reasons, but he talks a lot about you. If we're honest, we're kinda scared for him. It's only been two months since his last relationship ended. You know how it ended, right?"

"Yes, he told me the entire thing," I recall that day, how I somehow made him laugh. It's rooted in my mind, how proud I felt of myself to do something good without hiding I actually did it.

I always indulged in my work for theatre, notably for tech. I'm happy that I could spend time and learn those things, because now maybe I can help out my new school with their theatre productions. The day I met Rory, she mentioned this gifted student, so talented in drama. So much so, he's been the director for the theatre productions since the tenth grade.

"So you won't hurt him again, right?" Andrea lowers her phone, her cold but caring eyes gazing at me.

"I'm not planning, too," I say bluntly. "He's been through a lot, and I've been trying my best to help him through that. I've had my fair share of pain myself, seeing someone else in a similar state of mind... I can't leave him alone."

"He also said that," Colleen adds, sucking in her lips. "He didn't say much, don't worry. But he's mentioned that you guys support each other, aside from your friends, of course."

I stare her into her eyes this time, my lips quivering in dismay. "So, he tells you all everything?"

"Well, yeah," Gwen exhales, massaging her arm. "We're like siblings. And we look out for one another cause we're a family."

My heart shatters. "That makes me really happy for him, that he has you guys."

How lucky Andre is to have such a great support system, yet the emotional state he's in is a bit of a wreck. It's either no one listens to him, which is highly unlikely, or he bottles everything in to handle it himself. He thinks quite like me, not wanting to burden everyone with his problems. I really hope he comes to realize his problems are not a burden at all.

On the other hand, the family life I have isn't so ideal, not like this. I don't know of any cousins I have, and I know for sure that the only aunt and uncle I've ever seen don't have any kids. What saddens me the most is that my blood-family will never, ever be like this.

Now I understand why he can't leave me alone.

"You have a family, too, right?" Colleen asks carefully. "Siblings, cousins? Right?"

I shake my head, my eyes focused on the blue carpet getting hazier every second I blink. "They aren't exactly what you'd call a family," I swallow the lump in my throat hard. "I'm basically a bottom feeder. They're always disappointed in me. I'm not good enough in their eyes."

"Skye, I'm so sorry," Colleen sounds regretful, reaching out to touch me.

I back away, shaking my hand. "It's fine, really. You guys asked. I may as well tell."

"You told us to stop asking; I should've--"

"It's okay," I interrupt her. "Don't worry about it. My support system is growing now, and all I can do right now is hope."

There's a moment of silence in the room, everyone in a state of shock after what I'd revealed to them. I feel like I've ruined the mood, but I can tell the girls want to comfort me, and I can see how similar they all are to Andre and Lance. So careful with their words and so quick to apologize. So caring. I can feel that just by the atmosphere in this tiny room.

"You have a family, though, Skye," Kira comfortingly taps my knee, grinning briefly.

I clear my throat, "I've heard that countless times. From Andre, from Lance, their friends," I vent. "Finding out he's close to both his mom and dad's sides of the family boggles my mind. Because I barely know who my extended family are, or where they are, or if they're even alive. I only know about one aunt and uncle who live in Oregon, but my parents cut off our connection to them."

"You do," Gwen crosses her arms, glancing up at the ceiling. "You have this family, his mom's side, your friends and now you have us. I could hear my mom greeting you from all the way here."

I chuckle, remembering the lady who had claimed I was Andre's girlfriend. "Yes, she's great. Hyper even. I wouldn't have known she was your mom unless you told me."

Kira laughs loudly, "See! Gwen is so different from her mom! I wonder if she'll grow up to be like her mom."

Gwen chucks the deck of cards at her, chittering aloud. "Stop!" She shouts, still giggling. "Point is! The _Titas_ admire you probably! You saw them out in the living room, right?"

I nod.

"And you greeted them?"

"Yes."

"Perfect, they love you," Gwen beams, patting my shoulder. "And you got us, too!"

I try to argue back, to hear what they have to say. "But I just met you. How can my relationship with you guys be as good as I have with Lance and Andre's?"

"You fit right in with us, Skye!" Colleen jumps up giddily. "Look, our game of Bullshit was hyper, and we expected you to be real quiet, smiling a little bit. BUT GODDAMN, YOU HAD THE SAME ENERGY AS US!"

"So?" I attempt to hold in another smile, but it's pretty much a losing battle for me at this point.

"See you're smiling!" Colleen giggles giddily. "In plus, I think we needed a friend like you as well. We haven't met anyone around our ages in a while, someone who was nice at least."

I cough, scratching my neck embarrassingly. "You guys are silly," I shake my head. "What grade is everyone here?"

"Kira and I are seniors," Andrea chimes in. "Gwen and Colleen are in the 11th grade, Justin is going in the 9th. Are you going into grade 11, too?"

"No," I reply to their surprise. "10th grade."

Three of the girls gasp, all chorusing how pretty I am for my age.

I bring my hands together and shield my face by looking down. "Jeez, I've been called pretty so many times I think I might throw up."

Kira smirks, "Andre has this obsession with redheads. We're surprised he got another."

"Moving on," I scoff, biting my lip.

Somehow this comforts me, believing that I have three families. Ones that didn't pity me, but ones that valued and wanted me, maybe even needed. That relieves me in a way that I could have never imagined. This whole concept of family isn't confined to the one you're born into--it can be a family of friends, or a family's family, or much more.

I'm happy knowing I can have a family, and multiple of them; you just have to find the right people, and somehow fate gave them to me.

A bang on the door alerts us. Kira crawls over and opens the door, letting Justin, Andre and Lance in.

Justin hands me the cup of water I'd ask for and puts his cup down onto a table in the corner. Andre passes Kira the plate of chicken wings and as well as her and Gwen's drink.

Lance gives Andrea and Adrian's cups to them, finally sitting down and letting out a sigh. "Not gonna lie, Andre and I almost dropped a few on the way."

Andre swipes a chicken wing away, taking a bite of it before putting a finger up. "It's fine. Everyone is happy," he gestures at Adrian. "Pass me any pile of cards."

"Oh yeah, Uno," Colleen snickers. "Gimme a pile, too."

Soon enough, everyone has their piles, but we all agreed that we'd play after eating some chicken wings. I haven't tasted chicken wings like these before, but they're on the line between homemade and take-out food, if I had to guess.

The game of Uno is similar to our game of Bullshit, loud and a lot of cheering and groaning. The funny part of how they play Uno is, they team-up on the person who is winning until they're the target. This prolongs the game, and just like before, either no one has a good hand, or someone has way too many cards to secure a consistent win condition.

I've played Uno before, but this was back at Holy Cross during a lunch period where these random people invited me to play. It was a rotation, and I'd already forgotten their names. It was fun, don't get me wrong, but at that point, I wasn't looking for new friends.

Eventually, the long struggle ends for Kira, winning the second game in a row. "2-for-2!" She cheers triumphantly. "Holy shit, let's take a break. Clue is gonna take long to set up."

"Is it hot in here, or is it just me?" I pant, fanning myself by whiffing my shirt.

"Oh, yeah, it's just you," Andre winks, smiling smugly.

I stutter, reaching over to hit his shoulder, "You-- I may have walked into that one."

"Yes, you did, Skye-With-An-E," He hoists himself up, offering me a hand. "Wanna cool off on the porch?"

I hold onto his hand, pulling myself up. "Yeah, that'd be nice."

"No hanky-panky," Lance waves us off, the room erupting in light titters. "Take your time, you two."

I step out of the room, following Andre closely behind. Once we leave the small hallway, I can feel the eyes in the living room scanning me shortly, but all I'm focused on is him. We turn toward the kitchen, and briefly, I glance at the cake, which had pieces already missing from it. I see now where they had gotten the chicken wings, and glimpsing slightly to the right, Andre's mom is stirring a massive pot with a large metal spoon.

Andre suddenly stops at a sliding door, looking over at one of the ladies in the kitchen.

"Is it okay if Skye and I hang out on the porch, Tita?" He politely dips his head at her as she looks our way.

"Go ahead," she says.

Andre slides the door open, the night's cold breeze whirling into the kitchen. I step outside and take in the wind, relaxing my skin. He sits down on a lawn chair, leaning back and drinking out of his cup.

"Too bad I can't sneak any booze," He sets the cup down.

I sit down next to him. "You're still drinking?"

"No," he replies immediately, shooing away some lost bugs landing onto his chair.

The lights behind us lighting the deck buzzes quietly. Sadly, it's too bright for us to see any stars unless we venture near the dark of the yard, and Andre doesn't seem like he's in any mood to stargaze.

Nonetheless, it's still peaceful out here. Another gust sweeps past us, comforting me from the warmth I had felt inside the house. I stare at him, and a familiar feeling floods my senses.

In the light, Andre's face glimmers beautifully, his eyes sparkling like the daylight on a lake. I hadn't noticed how stunning he was until the day I confessed to him, seeing again all the flaws in his face, the flaws I admire so much. He's so unique, too breathtaking for his own good.

Andre stares back at me, tilting his head and smiling widely. "Cat got your tongue? Or should I say a tiger has it?" He bites his lip, studying me up and down briefly.

His damn look again, the warmness rising and dropping in sync with my chest. I've frozen again, caught up in his eyes. My hands brush over his, turning his over to hold gently. He scoots over to me, tightening his grip tenderly.

He lifts my hand, kissing it quickly before letting it drop back down onto the table. I rest my head on his shoulder, the heat rising into my face rapidly.

"Can I tell you something?" I hurry my question.

"Of course," Andre puts his arm around me this time, holding me close.

I ease into him, my heartbeat slowing down, "I've been thinking about my home."

There's this stillness for a moment, only the windchimes ringing with the wind gushing through us. By now, the crickets have come out, chirping their typical songs.

"It doesn't feel like home," I blurt out so quietly. "Like, don't get me wrong, it's big, it has a pretty look inside and out, it's clean, there's food. Everything someone might need to live."

He hums softly, brushing his cheek over my hair. "Yes, things a proper home should have."

I laugh at myself for a second, sighing heavily and squinting up at the night sky. "For as long as I can remember, I've never felt wanted. Only used for whatever they needed me to do or served as a trophy to boast about to other snotty, rich and close-minded people. All of that, but never wanted."

Andre holds me tighter this time, kissing the top of my head tenderly. I close my eyes, knowing he's still listening closely.

"What I realized tonight is that home isn't one place, as cliche as that sounds," I suck in my lips, now picking up the sound of his breathing and feeling his shoulder rise and fall for each breath. "It's the people."

"You stole that from Thor: Ragnarok," He chuckles.

"Oh, please," I laugh with him. "Most importantly, though, I'm starting to realize my home was with you. Our friends, M.J's family, this family."

"So we're a mobile home then?"

"Stop quipping!" I bite my lip, shaking my head. "This house, Marjorie's house, your cousin's house. And especially your house, it feels like a proper home. Where I feel wanted all the time."

He huffs, lifting his head off mine. "You're sweeter than you know, Skye," he says. "If only I can feel that way all the time, too."

"Huh?"

"No, nothing," Andre gulps. "Just thinking about school."

"What about it?"

"Nothing. Just excited you'll be joining us."

"Okay, then," I hold him tighter this time, closing my eyes again. "It's so funny how I've only met your relatives once, and I somehow felt more wanted here than the last 15 years of my life with my birth-family. You guys seem to care about me so much already, and I don't understand why."

Ande brings a hand down to my chin, lifting my head. I open my eyes to see his face so close to mine, my hand moving up to touch his face.

"You'll always be wanted, Skye. Like you said," He rubs his thumb across my cheek. "You just needed to find the right people. The people who would love and cherish you."

Love is an unknown concept to me. I don't know what I love, how it should feel, or how it works. I can't recall the last time I felt love, though maybe I can pinpoint a time where my friends may have made me feel that way. I don't know for certain; it's one of those questions that I find myself asking in various ways: What is love? How does love feel? Am I loved?

The problem is, I don't know enough about it because of the lack of love I've had to push through my entire life. Under the roof of my parents, there's a favourite, and then there's me. If they had some sort of definition of love, it would be 'unless you do this for me, I won't love you.' But even then, the more I do for them, the less I feel like they do care about me.

I stare at Andre longer, so caught off guard by his touch, his damn pretty face.

"...And I'll always want you," He chimes, my cheeks flushing in a burst of warmth. "Don't think otherwise."

"Andre..."

He tilts his head, adorably even, "Did that sound wrong? Did I say too much?"

"It sounded just right."

In just a matter of seconds, we lean in at the same time, gradually inching closer and closer. So much so that his breath glides across my lips.

Our lips are so close, the breeze of the wind disappearing entirely, the world revolving around us and this moment. We freeze in place, his eyes locked onto mine, both of us hesitating.

I shiver as his other hand grazes the opposite side of my face.

"You two!" The sliding door rumbles, Colleen's voice echoing the outside. "Come in! It's-- Oh shit, did I--"

We pull away instantly and looking back at each other, I realize how far we'd jumped back. How close our lips were, the moment so tender, still fresh in my mind. A buzzing in my head numbs my senses, so dazed by what had happened.

"Maybe," Andre stutters, stumbling the rest of his words. He turns to me. "Let's go back inside?"

My eyes stay fixated on him for a good ten seconds after he'd asked me. "Yes," I gulp, glancing at Colleen abruptly. "Let's go."

I felt so close to his lips. I imagine how soft they look, how delicate they would've felt pressed against mine. Even from this distance, I can still feel his lips hovering over mine.

"Sorry, again," Colleen shrugs, her eyes remorseful. "But hopefully you guys cooled off."

Andre makes a left toward the stove, telling the two of us that he'll be getting soup before he'd go back to the room to play the games. We leave him to his business, Colleen and I silently stepping back into the room, which now is a bit cooler than when we initially left.

Colleen sits down, nodding at me in silent agreement not to say what she had seen. I smile at her for this, scooting to sit next to her.

"What'd you guys do out there? Just talked?" She asks.

"Yeah," I answer, leaning my head against the wall, the memory still fresh in my mind.

"Did he give you advice for something?"

I shake my head, "Surprisingly, no. He just sat down with me, listened, and then he told me what he thought, and--"

"Shh, I know what would've happened next. Sorry again," She winks subtly, nudging my shoulder. "His advice got me out of some situations as well."

I sigh, leaning closer to her ear, "Has he ever told you what it meant to love someone?" I nervously fiddle with my thumbs.

Colleen gasps, covering her mouth, "You love him?"

I scrunch my nose, "No! No-- I'm still trying to understand this whole love thing. From families and friends, I was never exposed--"

I stop myself, swallowing hard, "I wasn't exposed to it as a child."

By now, the others are listening, and I glance over at Lance for help. He nods solemnly, giving me the okay to keep going.

Colleen gives me the same look of remorse from earlier, "Yes, he has."

"What'd he say?"

The other cousins sit in silence as if they know what to expect. He probably already told them, too.

"There's no real definition of love. Love is an action toward someone," Colleen says. "Love can only ever be good, which means love can't hurt. Nothing good can hurt you; think about it."

Parents are good, but why does mine hurt? They gave me life, is that good? Does that make them good, to give me a miserable life?

However, thinking about it more, I understand that my parents are not good people. Therefore, they were never good, and they hurt me. They hurt me one too many times, and the sad part is, I don't know when the end of it will come.

"How?" I'll be honest; I'm intrigued by what she has to say about what Andre told them.

"Love isn't supposed to hurt. Love is good, and if you ever feel that love hurts, then it isn't love. It's something more disposable than that," Collen continues, rubbing her chin in thought. "Same thing if you give up on someone so quickly, that ain't love."

I think for a moment, my mind defensively trying to deny her words, but right now, it's submitted to them. "I... see."

"Andre says the closest thing to a definition of love is giving up the last piece of pizza for someone else," Justin snickers, tossing me a spare fun-sized chocolate bar. "That's my last one. You get it?"

I purse my lips, "That's sweet, Justin."

He snaps his fingers, "Ah, I get it!"

"I walked into that."

Andre walks in, two bowls of soup in his hands carefully balanced, "What'd I miss? And also, who wants soup?"

Colleen straightens her back, "Skye asked me what love was."

My face heats up instantly, and I attempt to shield my face with a phone right against my face.

"Didn't Lance talk to you about that?" He asks me directly.

"He told me what it meant to like someone," I say this too much confusion. Wouldn't they mean the same thing?

Andre sighs, sitting down and putting the spare bowl of soup on the tiny table in the corner. "Did you tell her the pizza thing?"

"Yup, she did," Gwen notifies him.

"Also, the other thing before that," Colleen scoots over to the table. "Anyone want it? No? Okay, it's mine."

Kira scoffs, stretching, "I'll get some later."

Colleen and Andre sip gingerly through their soup, something clicking in the girl's head, prompting her to put down the bowl again. "Can you tell her what you told me that one time? I liked it. Just can't get myself to say it."

He puts his soup down onto the carpet, his hand gesturing at it. "You want it, Skye?"

"Yes, please," I reach down to get it, carrying the bowl toward me gently and ate. It's his mom's cooking, I can tell right away.

Andre breathes heavily, "Lemme get into the mindset."

We wait patiently, the others keeping to themselves on their phones, Colleen and I chowing down on our bowls of soup they called _lugaw_.

Andre cracks his knuckles, sitting comfortably in the middle of the room. "Ready?"

"Yeah," we chorused.

He clears his throat, removing his glasses and fluffing up his sweater. "There's no definition of love or a proper definition, so I always say the pizza thing," He starts. "If you look at it deeper, it means sacrificing your needs for someone else's."

"Mhm."

"My teacher told me it was to 'will the good of the other for the others sake,'" He reminisces in his head, his eyes sinking. "Love is an action; it's what you do, especially for others."

It suddenly snaps in my head.

That's precisely what Andre does for me, his friends and his family; that was his sacrifice. He loved us so much that he'd literally do anything for us, no matter what he was feeling.

A pit in my stomach formed. I taste the guilt of getting angry at him and Quinn sneaking off that one night. Everybody had forgotten her birthday that night except Andre. In fact, he's the one who reminded everyone the next morning.

By this logic, that means Andre loves me. The bracelets, my necklaces, the countless times he's let me inside his home with open arms, all the things he did for me throughout this short friendship. Over the course of this thing between Andre and me, he loved me more than I could ever know.

The world was never good to him when he was alone. He had the perfect family, friends and what anyone can see is a successful life, a good life to be thankful for. But the bad experiences he's gone through is starting to pile. The people who've wronged him left him, even used him--he trusted them with all his heart and forgave them. The countless times no one has ever asked him how he was, how his mental health is, he doesn't care. Andre lives for his family, loves us so much to a point where he'd rather stay hurt than see us hurt.

His world of friends and family was perfect, but stepping outside of that world for a moment fucked him up so bad, and yet he still loves everyone and anyone that crosses paths with him. He would do anything for you.

Tears start to well up in my eyes, but I wipe them away with a thumb. From a young age, I was abused by my own blood and have drawn blood by my own hands. Andre is lucky enough to have that, but if I'm being honest, he would still be the same if he had my childhood.

We all go through different battles, but the way we grow up, the things we learn, the attitudes we have, they come as we learn. It's how we think. He's only this strong because he's been through battles just like me; the differences don't matter because at the end of the day, we understand each other and how we feel.

To go through his fair share of battles, he has good reasons to just shut out everyone. He has all the reasons to shut himself out and only fend for himself, similar to how I was. But he chose not to because he knows what the right thing to do is.

Fighting battles like that, getting beat to the ground and still managing to muster up a smile? That's a strong thing to do.

My eyes swell, my vision becoming blurry.

"What's wrong?" Andre catches me again, putting me in his arms and wiping my eyes. "Bub, talk to me."

"I've just... realized some things about you," I look up, seeing him clearly this time in the approaching light.

"Why are you crying then?"

I stare around the room, the cousins smiling happily at us, at me. They are happy for me, and this boy right here, he's stayed happy for me, even when knowing about my history. He still hasn't left, he hasn't been overwhelmed at all, he just accepts me for who I am, they all do, our friends do as well.

I lean my head in, softly peck his cheek, and whisper, "You are the strongest person I know. I'm so thankful to have met you."

Andre pulls away, his eyes heavy once again, dull from the lack of sleep. I've only noticed it now, but I see him so clearly, even clearer than before. As if I can see right through him.

"I'm thankful to have met you, too."


	47. Night Changes

_7:45 p.m._   
_August 1, 2019_

Andre's POV

I wait patiently in front of Skye's house, the familiar taste of anxiety touching my lips. I try to calm down, taking deep breaths, telling myself that this isn't something I haven't done before. It's not like I haven't hung out with Skye before; what is troubling me is that this is a date. That one word alone makes me so nervous because I hadn't been in this position for a long time.

My family trip is tomorrow, so this would be the last time I see her for a while. I'm going to have to impress her to an even greater extent than I have before, even though I know that I don't have to.

In the corner of my eye, I see her, wearing the same outfit I'd seen her wear so many times. That red and black striped shirt, with those fishnets and denim skirt. No matter how many times I see her wear that, it will never get old. Skye will always be beautiful to me.

Skye raises her eyebrows at me, scrunching her nose once she sees what I'm wearing.

"Hi," she tilts her head, biting her lip. "I love the denim jacket, but a Sailor Moon sweater?"

"For contrast, obviously," I pass her the aux chord. "Go wild. Do you know where we're going?"

She furrows her brows, staring at herself in the mirror while applying lipstick. "Did you forget?" She smacks her lips. "We're going to an all-ages event at the club downtown. At PiNK."

I nearly choke on my spit, looking at her quizzically. "THERE'S ALL AGES-EVENTS AT CLUBS? AT FUCKING PiNK OF ALL PLACES?"

Skye rolls her eyes, "I been there before. And don't worry, I don't think any of their daily shenanigans will happen when minors are there."

"I hope not, or else I'm gonna suplex someone if they come near me."

"DRIVE! DRIVE!" Skye cheers, banging on the dashboard. "GO! NOW!"

"JESUS CHRIST, OKAY!" I immediately shift the gear into drive and u-turn out of her street.

I have to take the long road to downtown, the nearest route being under construction by McClockin road.

I hadn't seen Skye that excited for a while, and though I'm happy to see her happy, I have to question what 'all-ages' event would be happening at fucking _PiNK_.

"So," I gulp, my eyes peeled on the road.

"What?"

"What all-ages event is taking place there?"

Skye straightens her back, leaning on her palm and gazing out the window. "During last school year, I'd follow a ton of local bands, so I end up discovering the venues they play at. Last time I did this with other people, I was with--" she stops abruptly. "...My old acquaintances. Anyway, I haven't been to PiNK in forever. "

"When was the last time you went?"

"Maybe before my parents kicked me out in July," She replies. "You just gotta go to the right places and be persistent to find this shit."

I reach over, putting a hand on her thigh.

"Andre..." She leans into my touch, putting her hand over mine. "You're pushing it, Pal. It's a good thing; you're cute."

I glance at her, seeing her attempt to hide the red flush on her face, her head fixated on the outside.

"What kind of bands are playing?" I ask, making a left past Saskatoon Tower. There'd been some silence during the drive, both of us listening to music we both compromised on.

"Some punk rock bands and EDM D.Js go there, too."

"That's right in my wheelhouse, then," I turn my hand over, twining my fingers with hers. "You know me, I'm very open-minded when it comes to music."

Skye chuckles, tightening her grip, "You're open-minded all the time."

We're nearing the club, maybe a five-minute drive now. The only thing I haven't told Skye about is the walk I'm going to take her near the river. Just a little ways away from the Bessborough Skating Rink at Kiwanis Memorial Park.

The river runs parallel to the park and is one of the most culturally driven parks in Saskatoon. Many statues of Canadian heroes stand there, a First-Nations' tipi and of course the Vimy Memorial gazebo that was constructed in the dead center of the park.

I pull over in a designated parking lot, checking my storage compartment if I had any spare coins for parking. Luckily I did, and I gesture to Skye that she can leave the car.

I circle around the car to the parking meter, dropping the coins in. Skye snakes an arm around me, softly leaning against my shoulder.

The nightclub logo is already starting to light pink. The evening colours touch all corners of the building and Skye's fair skin.

"You're shivering," She notes, pulling away and looking up at me.

I gulp nervously, sighing heavily, "Just a bit anxious. First date with you and all."

"You've been on countless dates, and you're nervous?" She smirks, reaching for the door handle.

I shrug, "I'm always like this before a date. No matter how many you go on, it's sometimes got so nerve-wracking, I gotta breathe a bit before-hand."

Skye leads the way this time, dragging me behind her as she walks us through the second set of doors. "Well, that makes both of us. I'm nervous, too. It makes me feel a bit better you feel the same," she admits, squinting at the LED lights flashing in our direction. "The bands haven't shown up yet, so we have time to catch-up."

I'd never been inside a club before, surprised at how many people actually showed up to this event. It's how I imagined any nightclub would be, the lights, the bodies, the loud music, and the second-story balcony. I notice the thing my friends talked about so much, the logo engraved on a glass pane.

Skye takes me to the bar, wherefrom this distance, I can see how young the crowd actually is. There's no band on stage yet, but the speakers are booming with loud EDM.

"Damn, look how young the crowd is," I note, spinning around to face Skye.

"This is where kids sneak out, they find out about the all-ages event and boom, they feel like they're in the movies, sneaking into bars and nightclubs," Skye hisses jokingly, waving to the bartender. "This is the only place I'd feel safe to be so close to other people."

My eyes widen, my mouth gaping open, "Wait, do you dance?"

Skye hesitates for a moment, then nods, "Yup."

"I thought you didn't dance," I snicker, biting my lip.

"I didn't know how to slow dance. Raving is different if you can call it that," Skye briefly asks the bartender for two drinks I've never heard about. "Too bad you aren't 19 yet. Coulda ordered us some real booze."

I laugh loudly, "Skye if I was 19 and took you here, I'd go to fucking jail."

She purses her lips casually, "You right."

The bartender comes back around, sliding us our brightly coloured drinks. I look down at it skeptically, "Damn looks like a girl's drink. Can't believe our Goth Queen ordered something so _bubbly."_

She rolls her eyes, playfully, "Drink the damn thing."

"Not gonna lie, never thought I'd sit in a bar stool at 17," I quip.

"I don't know what the big deal is; it's just a place," Skye sips it eagerly, licking her lips. "Too bad this is a mocktail."

I carefully suck through the straw, sloshing the liquid briefly around my mouth. "This is just sprite."

"...And guava juice," Skye corrects me.

"Yup, I can feel it in my head already," I wobble around merrily, taking a long, noisy sip through the straw.

Skye smirks at me, shaking her head. "Yes, we're so lightweight we get drunk on Sprite and guava juice."

I finish the drink already, the bartender swiftly taking away my glass. "You look great, Skye."

She hiccups on her straw, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. "Thanks," she moves her drink aside. "You know, I usually go to these shows alone. Especially after, y'know. It's nice having you with me, showing you one of my favourite haunts."

"It's fun being at the club with you, too," I look into her eyes. "It's a first-time experience for me."

"Amen to that. Before, I'd always run away here if they kicked me out, or if I snuck out through a window," she hums, fiddling with her straw. "It's so peaceful in my house without my parents being there. Kinda makes me sad this solace is temporary. The only problem I had is that I've cleaned the house over and over again in fear I'd missed a spot."

A question burns itself inside my mind, and I reach over to touch her hand. "I'd sneak out with you here in a heartbeat," I lick my lips, still tasting remnants of the drink. "Skye, was your family always this bad?"

Skye sighs, chewing on her bottom lip in thought. "Y'know what, no," she says to my surprise. "They were always strict, but they were never outright mean until I was old enough to develop an identity."

Her voice shakes a little bit, leaning her head to let her hair fall off her shoulders. "The second I turned eight and decided to pick my own clothes, my mom realized she couldn't control me, and to her, that turned me into an abomination."

"That's terrible," My voice trickles, the urge to hug her taking over me. "I--"

"I don't want pity about it," she interrupts me bluntly. "But you asked, so there you go."

Our heads turn at the same time at the sound of a voice echoing through the speakers. One of the bands had finally appeared on stage, the bass beginning to thump throughout the club as the music starts. I feel the vibrations in my ribcage, almost touching my soul.

"Ooh, I love this song," Skye hops off her seat, beckoning at me. "C'mon, Andre. I love this song, we should dance."

Something shatters in my head, ringing in my ears, drowning out the music. I'd always been so confident about slow dancing with Skye, with anyone for that matter. But every time I see movies or shows or videos of people in clubs or see my family dancing at receptions, I never found it in myself to dance like that. I don't know why, but I always got so shy and usually would stay on the sidelines, watching.

"Right! Dancing!" I stiffen up as my feet hit the ground. "That's what-- what clubs-- what happens at clubs."

Skye tilts her head, her eyes flashing in concern. "You good?"

"Nothing, take my hand. Drag me. Go."

Skye shrugs, smirking. She takes my hand and pulls me to the dance floor, and the moment she turns to face me, my heart drops at the sight of her. I'd normally be nervous of the countless people around me in this situation, but right now, all I see is her.

Her small hips sway to the beat, and she motions at me to dance with her.

I stumble, nearly tripping on my own feet.

"You nervous, Tiger?" She pants, stopping her dancing.

"Do I look like I am?" I scratch the back of my head.

She nods, "Yes. Is there something wrong?"

I pivot my feet a little to get closer to her. "I don't dance," I admit, rubbing the nape of my neck.

Skye stares at me quizzically, stumbling her words, "You don't– you literally taught me how to slow dance."

"I meant in this environment," I reply, embarrassed. "You lead me this time."

As we dance together, this time getting the hang of it. She places my hands on her waist, locking eyes with me. My face heats, my eyes glancing down at the floor as we both move to the beat.

"Listen, you don't need to be nervous," Skye thunders, lifting my chin. "It's not like I'm any good at dancing, either."

"Jesus, that's what you think?"I shout, laughing along, nearly tripping over my feet again. "From this angle, you _definitely_ are!"

Skye leans in closely, swinging back and forth with me to the music. Her soft breath tickling my ear, and the perfume of her hair intoxicating me.

"Cool, I'm glad you think so," She smiles, shouting over the thumping of the music. "It's nice knowing I'm gonna be alone later tonight! For at least two more days! And I'm glad you're here with me experiencing this!"

I tilt my head, gliding my hand across her hips. I wink at her, biting my lip, "I'm glad too, Skye. You want me to sleepover a night?"

Skye's mouth gapes open, her eyes batting at me. "Uh, no, it's fine!" Her cheeks still glow red even with the pink lights beaming at us. "But ya know what, I feel like doing something crazy! Just because we can!"

I smirk, grabbing onto her waist tighter.

Skye bites her lip as I tighten my grip, her face flushing into a deeper shade of red. I can't tell if she's blushing because of me or getting tired from all the dancing, all the heat in the room fogging up our vision.

I lean in closer, my breath making her shiver as it glides across the skin of her neck. "Drugs?" I yell out, catching her off guard.

"Fuck, no! Are you crazy?!" She almost screams louder this time, pulling her head back. "Even I'm not that wild, but the idea intrigues me."

Her eyes veer away from my eyes, an unusual shyness clouding her face. "Man, you got me there for a second, leaning in and whispering," Skye breathes a sigh of relief. "I thought you wanted to– do the– y'know, thing–"

"Stop!" I laugh loudly. halting our movements. "I was playing a joke! About the drugs! I don't know how I got you to think _that."_

Skye jeers, crossing her arms, "You're such a flirt." She seems to click at something, her eyes widening. "Come with me; I thought of something!"

She pulls me out of the crowd and into the bathroom, fishing around in a little packet until she pulls out a couple of fake tattoos.

"Who knew there were gender-neutral washrooms here?"

"It's a gay-bar, Andre," Skye quips, shaking her head. "Stop looking at me like that. No, I wasn't gonna pull out drugs."

"Then, what's that? It looks like ecstasy."

She scoffs, "No! They're only fake tattoos!"

"Almost thought you took me here to--"

"MACATANGAY!" She shoves me playfully, laughing hysterically.

I shush her, wrapping my arms around her and holding her in place, her giggles echoing the washroom. "If you keep laughing like that, people gonna start thinking something going on here, too."

"Okay! Okay! Stop!" Skye wiggles herself free, panting, a whimsical smile plastered on her face. "You are too much, sometimes."

I lean against the wall, resting underneath a convenient vent with airconditioning. "Do you carry fake tattoos around with you to drug deal them cause' they're drugs?"

She rolls her eyes, "No, but I found them in my packet this morning. These are from a while back, school handed them out. Figured I should do something with them," She nods at me. "You in?"

"Knock yourself out," I walk over to her. "I'd love to get my first tattoo done by you."

"Don't make it weirder than it already is, Andre," She pulls my arm toward the sink. "Stay still, m'kay?"

I bob my head, "Gotcha, Bub."

She rolls her eyes.

I stick out my arm, and Skye carefully unwraps a little skull decal, pushing it onto my wrist and plotting a damp paper towel over it. She does the same on her own arm, and soon, we had the same matching skull tattoos layered onto our wrists.

"Alright, there," She studies the skull on both our arms for a moment. "Let's head back out before the set ends."

We head back onto the dance floor, and as we do, I hear a voice cooing at us.

"How are you doing, Skye?" The Latina girl chirps, smiling widely at Skye. "Nice tats! Can ya' hook a girl up sometime?"

Skye nearly topples over my feet. "Daria!" She clears her throat. "Are you and your band playing tonight?"

She flashes us a thumb, "Yeah, in a bit," she says. "It's good to see you doing all right, kid. You look happy."

Daria turns her attention to me, her hair swinging over to her left shoulder. "Nice catch, Skye!" She scans me up and down. "Nice sweater, by the way! Skye has a good taste in boys, I see."

Skye stutters, putting a tentative hand over her shoulder. "You're funny!" She smoothly slides over to my side, slinging her arm around me, then giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Boyfriend?" She bends a knee, tilting her head.

"Nah, no titles yet," I extend an arm to her. "I'm Andre."

"Daria," she firmly shakes my hand. "Glad you're helping her out. She used to sneak all over town to just watch my shows."

Skye shrugs shyly, almost hiding behind my shoulder. "He does help out a lot," she looks onward at the lights.

Daria rubs her chin, putting a hand on Skye's arm. "Do you two wanna come up for one of my songs with the band?" She offers warmly.

"I don't sing, though," I grin. "I play bass, though."

"Oh shush," Skye hits my arm. "He _does_ sing but are you sure? You want us to perform with _Daria and the Delinquents?"_

What a catchy name. I didn't know Skye used to sneak out a lot. Perhaps that's the reason her parents had kicked her out so much. Maybe she got caught one night coming home, and they decided that meant something else, something disgraceful. Usually, parents would lock in their kids, but hers are a puzzle. They're also menaces.

"I'd especially want you up there, Skye," Daria giddily takes both her hands. "You inspired me the last time I saw you. So I thought this would be a good time to return a favour."

Skye stumbles her words again, her mouth hanging wide open. "Then, yes! Absolutely!"

"Sweet! Come with me," Daria twirls around, kicking one foot out in front of her. "Set's about to start soon. Glad I caught ya'."

As the crowd applauds for the previous band, Daria's band tunes their own equipment on stage. I'd never sung in front of so many people and have only heard a glimpse of how Skye sounds when she sings: Both times, I was half-asleep.

Daria motions for us both to stand next to her by the microphone stands up on stage.

"Skye, I do not know the lyrics to their songs," I express my panic and excitement simultaneously.

"I gotcha," Skye bumps my arm.

Daria taps the mic before speaking into it, pumping up the crowd. "Hey, everyone! Who's ready to rock out?"

The crowd roars, many stomping their feet and clapping. It's surreal to be on this side of a show, seeing all the fans cheer right in front of you. I've played through my concert bands during the last three years of high school, but obviously, none got this crazy.

The two girls glance over to me, signalling me to say a few words into the mic in front of me. How'd I not notice this?

"I'm not a real musician, by the way!" I warn the crowd, gaining a few chimes of laughter, boosting my confidence. "I'm mainly up here for that girl over there."

I point at Skye, my world slowing down at the spectacle of her pretty face. "She's our... no, she's my Goth Queen, and the best girl in the world."

Skye sucks in her lips, her and Daria glancing at each other, both giggling. She swiftly carries her mic stand next to me, briefly looking at me to give me the go.

Daria begins to belt her lyrics into the mic as the band jams behind her.

_"You're a vision from the mist, and I'm in love with your blood-red lips..."_

Fans push against the front of the stage, reaching up with their arms. Skye starts to sing and anxiously awaits my voice to sync with hers.

It's as if this night was scripted because I had heard this song before, on our way home from camping. Skye played it while she had the aux cord. Perfect, I won't completely and utterly embarrass myself in front of Skye. It's like she's the only one I can hear right now, the fans' cheering sinking below my thoughts.

She'd played this song on repeat at least more than twice during our drive home. The lyrics are familiar to me.

I sing along with Skye and Daria, louder than I'd ever sung before.

_"You're the devil in fishnets..."_

_"...I'm a heathen for your sweet kiss!"_

Skye pulls away from the mic, bending forward to talk to me.

"Since when did you know the words?" Skye sounds surprised.

"It's one of the songs you played on the way home from camping," I back away as well. "You liked it so much, I got the lyrics down in my head from listening to it twice."

Skye delightfully gasps. "What a memory you have! That's the best thing I've heard all night!"

"Wow, so my jokes weren't funny?"

"SING!"

I halt her, "WAIT!" I grab onto her shoulders. "SELFIE WITH THE BAND! I HAVEN'T POSTED ANYTHING ON MY INSTAGRAM SINCE MAY!"

Skye nods, gesturing at me to toss my phone. I throw it up in the air, and Skye catches it with precision. She powers it on, swiping up to load in the camera and positions it horizontally, stepping forward. Skye flaunts up a peace sign, Daria posing with the mic and me pumping my hands in the air. The band poses too, all smiles and laughs from both the crowd and us.

The guitarist picks up where he left off, shredding his piece beautifully. I find Skye's eyes in the loud atmosphere, forgetting where I am for a moment. I reach up, tangling myself in her long, silky hair.

"Skye, I--"

She stares back at me in wonder, a pink sheen across her face, her eyes bright and dilated from the adrenaline. I stand there, thunderstruck as the crowd cheers.

"GOODNIGHT, SASKATOON!" Daria roars out, elevating her microphone into the air.

I gesture toward the door with my head, "Ready to go?"

Skye nods happily, sneaking around behind a curtain and waving a heartfelt good-bye to Daria, the song ending and the bass from the speakers ceasing abruptly. All that's left is a ring, resonating throughout the building.

_..._

Stepping out into the outside, the breeze causes me to sigh in relief. The sun is fully set, the street lamps lighting in either direction as we walk back toward the car.

I open the door for Skye, her getting it swiftly and smiling thankfully. Circling back around the car, I almost forget about the surprise walk in the park. Being around many people grows tiring, especially when the room becomes significantly hotter, the longer we stay in.

I let the car start, throwing my head back against the headrest and closing my eyes.

"Tired?"

"Just need a little bit of a rest; Skye does Minecraft."

Her eyes pierce into my soul, scoffing coldly. "This date was going so well, too," Skye quips, shaking her head.

I laugh, "Boo-hoo."

Skye reaches over into my pocket and pulls out my phone, plugging the aux into it. "You just taking me home now, or are you gonna be extra today? I'm surprised you didn't request a song to slow dance too."

"What? No," I put the car into drive and move out of the parking spot. "That'd be too easy."

"So you're just taking me home?" Skye probes, sounding disappointed.

"Of course not," I make another left at the end of the street, going toward the Delta Bessborough Hotel.

Skye doesn't question a thing; maybe she's happy we're going someplace else. She must recognize the road here and realize that we aren't going home yet.

Too bad it's not the winter; I'd love to go skating with her. It's a good thing there's a nice park there that has the river as a backdrop.

Saskatoon looks amazing during the nighttime, the buildings' lights making it feel warm and safe. Mainly the hotel's lights, so bright like a beacon helping strays find their ways home.

I recall many more people coming to Kiwanis Memorial Park at night, for the same reason I'm here with Skye. But from this distance, the trees scattered in the area conceal the park itself, only the tallest tip of the gazebo towering up beyond the large trees.

I'd parked in the designated parking spots near the bus stop ice cream stand. It's a stand shaped like one of those busses from the United Kingdom, the ones seats on the roof.

Skye eagerly hops out of the car, waiting for me before advancing forward toward the park.

"I haven't been here in a while," Skye slyly slips her hand through mine.

I lead her away from the park center, opting to start off at the farther end to gaze at the river for a bit, the street lamps lighting up every step of the way.

It flows through calmly and sounds like rushing water trickling down an old pipe. The winds are quiet tonight, so quiet that the running river and rustling leaves sing together, a song of nature that only Skye and I can admire. 

We follow a path that heads right into the pavement sidewalk of the park. The light from the lamps touches Skye's face, illuminating her in a gorgeous hue of orange and yellow. Her hair matches that of a burning fire, that warms people around her if they tend to it carefully.

She's so beautiful, so out of this world. Her dark blue-eyes glance past me, the shine on her black-painted lips slowing down time the longer I stare at them. I'm so fixated with the sight of her, forgetting again where I am and where I'm going.

All I know is I'm following a pretty girl down a pretty park with the pretty lights shining on her, a spotlight made for the most stunning people.

I reach for her, touching her shoulder to see if the girl in front of me is real. I half-expected to see my hand go through her, but it lands on her, and I longingly rub my thumb across it, gaining her attention.

"Look sharp, Macatangay," She winks at me quickly, pulling me forward to walk right next to her. "It's lovely here. I don't remember it being so peaceful."

I snake an arm around her waist, pulling her tightly against me. "You're cute."

She stares at me funny as if it's her first time hearing those words escape my lips. "And you're Andre," Skye leans up against me, easing into me. "You wanna sit under the gazebo?"

"Sure."

The walk is silent, but Skye forces us to turn to face the river. The lights from the city shimmer across the water, the rippling of the river's current mirroring back at us in a wavy, serene reflection.

"Andre, you wanna talk?" Skye offers, pointing to a park bench. "Let's sit down for a bit."

I follow her, sitting down on the bench. She puts her head on my shoulder, snuggling up close to me.

"I was supposed to talk about this with you during my confession back inside that tent," Skye starts off suddenly. "But I couldn't find the words, even though I'd poured my heart out to you that day."

My cheek falls onto the top of her head, and I massage her shoulder comfortingly. "You had a lot to say that night anyway; I wouldn't be surprised if you had to leave some things out," I respond to her quietly, comforted by her touch and the lights.

Skye sighs heavily. I can hear the tiredness in that one breath; she'd been holding onto this for a while.

"I wanna talk about my baggage," She lifts her head, looking only forward. "I feel this thought when I'm around our friends and especially you."

"What do you mean, Skye?"

She rubs her bicep anxiously, her eyes dropping onto the pavement below. "My family-situation at home, my mental health, and what I learned about myself on our trip," Skye pauses, gulping. "I'm riddled with insecurities. I got so goddamn jealous of a girl you hadn't had feelings for since you were much younger. I got over it a little after alone time in that alcove, but if Thu Thu and Marjorie weren't there to steer me in the right direction, I would have been lost."

I remember that moment I'd figured out she was jealous, and it's something I had to face before with the girls I'd been with. Despite Skye having help from the two girls, she needed to mature herself. I think she'd done it fantastically, better than how most people handle it.

"That got me thinking of how much I needed Marjorie and Thu Thu to help me, and that made me realize how much I burdened them with my baggage," Skye's voice shakes, bringing up her thumb to wipe away a droplet trickling down her face. "I'm so thankful for them being there, but I feel like I drew them away from having fun to help me instead."

I scooch over closer to her, and she refuses to look me in the eye this time. "Skye, they helped you because they cared about you. They didn't think about what your baggage was; they thought about you."

"That's the thing," she says. "I don't want people to constantly worry about me! Why can't I just handle shit on my own without having any other stupid issues to carry?"

"It's hard to do that because of those issues," I argue back. "Insecurities, mental health issues, they steer you away from what you have to do to help yourself. Having support is so important because the people around you understand and listen to you. It's like this, Skye, you're not making them carry your load, but all of you as a collective carry each other's baggage."

Skye is still fixated on the ground, "Why does it feel like I'm not helping anyone at all?"

I kneel down in front of her, lifting her chin up to look at me. "You are such a help to us. Everyone has baggage, Skye. It's part of life. And like anything else, it's easier when someone gives you a hand with it," I reassure her, but her face tells me she doesn't believe me. "A lot of us needed a Skye in our lives when we reunited at the end of the school year."

Skye stands up, and I do the same. We look at each other longingly, being in this position so many times before, just looking at each other with the world slowing down all around us, not a worry in our heads about what will happen, would happen, or is going to happen.

It's just us, alone in this park, alone in the world.

Skye falls into my arms, hugging me tighter as the embrace lengthens.

"Woah, there," I grunt, reflexively wrapping my arms around her. "Hey there, Skye-With-An-E. Who put those stars in your eyes?"

Despite Skye's dislike for that nickname and the 'cheesy' things, she doesn't complain, not even a scoff out of her.

She squeezes again, her hair tickling my face. "You're just..." Skye pauses, nuzzling her face into my neck, her warm breath sending shivers through my body. "You're the best, Andre. Do you know that?"

I chuckle, lowering my head enough to plant a soft kiss onto her cheek. "I've had my suspicions, but it never really crossed my mind."

"Don't be modest," Skye raises her head, just a breath away from me. "I've never been so attached to anyone before, and it's so overwhelming."

She hasn't noticed yet, but since she had started hugging me, her eyes couldn't hold back the well of tears bottling up in them.

Her blue eyes twinkle in the lights of the park, so bright and warm as she glances up at me.

I cock my head to the side, carefully wiping the tears off her soft cheek.

"Hey, I understand how you feel," I reassure her, letting our foreheads touch. "I thought I'd never fall for anyone again."

Skye shakes her head, looking like there's still a lot on her mind. "That's what's been eating me up, y'know?"

"Hm?"

She takes a deep breath, stepping back a few inches away from me. "You and Quinn were really close during our camping trip. She's your ex but--" Skye huffs again. "I don't know. It looks like you both got comfortable after being away after so long."

I sigh, guilt simmering in the pit of my stomach. "Skye, we don't have to keep talking about this right now if you ain't comfortable," I tell her. "You don't have to—"

"What? Worry?" She rubs her arm nervously, taking a step farther from me. "Look, you're sweet to me, sweeter than anyone has ever been. But, that whole trip, I was wondering why you're still sticking with me and not trying to get with her again. I mean, the connection is still there. Wouldnt it be more comfortable? Wouldn't it be easier?"

Suddenly, I begin to giggle. This is the worst time to laugh, but I'm only laughing because hearing her say that gave me reassurance. She gave me a confession during our camping trip, but I was still worried she was only telling me for the sake of pitying me.

"Why are you laughing?" She asks softly. "I'm being serious, Andre. I'm trying to be serious."

"You sound silly, that's why," I smirk, putting her hands in mine, holding them out in front of me. "Skye, I like you."

Skye playfully rolls her eyes, squeezing the grip she has on my hands. "You know, I'd never thought my first crush would be someone so good."

There are many firsts someone can have: first kiss, first date, the first time (if you're real ballsy), you get the picture.

All of these are inevitable to happen, or at least some of them, anyway. But being her first crush, and possibly being her future first boyfriend? That's a lot of pressure, even for the most experienced of people. It's either she stays with me for life, and I'm her first and last, or I'm going to be the guy that sets the tone for her dating life.

What if I was going to be her first kiss? Her first, everything? It's pressuring me because the first usually isn't the last, and that worries me.

It's such a silly thought, but I want to be Skye's first and last; passing on a girl like her would be an absolute sin. Imagining her with someone else, honestly, makes me jealous too.

Considering all the things she's done for me, I had to let her know that I was grateful for everything she did to help me recover from my breakup. She may not know she was helping me, but she really was.

"Skye," I call, keeping my forehead locked onto hers. "You were my leap of faith. How could I want anyone else if you're always here with me?"

Skye staggers back, gasping gently, her eyes lighting up brighter than the park lamps. "I was? I am?"

I stroke her cheek and cup her face, "I've been loyal to you since I saw you inside the Build-A-Bear Workshop those few weeks back."

"Oh... I..."

When I get a better look at her face, I notice it flushing a bright red, falling silent.

"That moment I saw you, I was stunned," I admit to her. "It'd been hard for me those couple of months, but when I saw you when I look at you right now, everything just goes away."

Skye solemnly nods; by now, we're standing in front of the steps of the Vimy Memorial Gazebo, underneath the overhang.

"Marjorie did tell me you had a thing for redheads," Skye snorts, covering her mouth to prevent herself from laughing further. "Instead of approaching me like a normal human being, you looked up at the ceiling."

"Save the jokes, Goth Queen," I tickle her sides, poking at them repeatedly. "Anyway, the only thing that stopped me from approaching you was because the breakup still kept fucking me up."

Skye remains silent, setting herself down onto the white stairs, then tapping the spot beside her, gesturing me to sit down as well.

I happily take the seat next to her, leaning back and bringing my arm around her shoulders. She snuggles even closer than when we were on the bench, one of her legs overlapping mine.

"Do you have more to say?" Skye shifts around and finally settles in a comfortable position. She brushes her red hair, the night tinging it a soft blue.

"—I was so scared of being hurt again by someone else. After it happened, it kept ringing in my head, the nightmares came back, and it was terrifying to finally accept my feelings for you," I unwrap my arm from around her shoulder to lean forward. "But when I did, that's when I realized you did everything for me. Most importantly, I realized I wasn't as broken as I thought."

Skye stammers, her nose scrunching up in confusion, "I did? I thought I barely did anything for you when we started hanging out."

"That's what you think," I reach for her, softly kissing her palm, and as I did so, she curled her fingers to rub my chin. "You dug me out of my grave, made me feel less lonely every day, and made me feel special. Something I never thought I would be anymore."

Skye's cheek colour and I swear I see a tear glisten in her eye before she had wiped it away.

"You didn't do a bad job, either," Skye says, pecking the edges of my cheek.

"From our music project to those sleepless nights I sang to you," I shiver, reminiscing those times she had fallen asleep in my arms. "Everything you've done for me made me realize that I shouldn't be afraid of falling for you."

Skye stutters again, "Oh, Andre... I—"

I shoot up with a jump, cutting her off, letting the tears I'd been holding back for weeks fall from my eyes. I shake my head, turning to face her, my face an absolute mess as I let the words pour out like a dam breaking.

"You're the reason I'm able to sleep at night again, and why I'm excited to get up in the mornings," I sound crazy saying this to a girl who still, at this time, has no idea how to handle her own emotions, her own feelings for me. But somehow, she'd been doing that all along. "Skye, you're the reason I can smile again without having a single worry about my past and what's to come in my future."

I can't discredit the others, of course, but all I can think right now is of her. Skye pushed me to do so many things I thought I'd never been able to do again; it's surreal how in such a short time, I found myself again through her. All I wish is that I help her do the same.

Skye gawks at me, shyly looking back down at her thighs. She runs a hand through her hair restlessly as her cheeks swell pink, waves of heat pulsing out, "Andre, that's... holy shit."

I step directly in front of her, halting to wipe the tears from my eye with my sleeve.

"Falling for you was the best decision I've ever made, because if I hadn't," I hesitate, my heart racing. I swallow hard in an attempt to push down the air in my throat. "–if I hadn't, I wouldn't have found myself. In a way, you found me, found where I was in that hole. And that completed me because when you found me, I found hope again. There was someone worth fighting for again."

Skye's eyes grow in awe, watering up, welling with more tears. She brushes them away from her eyes, then locks hers with mine. "Andre, oh, my God. I can't... I really made you feel like that?"

She's in disbelief, her voice low and soft.

"You answer that yourself," I say, feeling the warmth rising to my face, catching her pretty eyes look past me. "Look, I know that was all too soon to say, but I'm completely genuine and mean every single word I just said. I promise you from the bottom of my heart. I promise you my life and our friends' lives, and–"

Skye cuts me off, her hand pressing against my lips, her other taking my hands and holding them close to her chest. Her heart rapidly pounds against the back side of my palm.

She sniffles, "I'm at a loss for words, Andre." Skye shakes her head in disbelief. "Holy shit, I made you feel like that."

Skye is completely breathless. Her breathing is heavy, her face was abnormally red, and she starts giggling to herself while she sobs.

I yank a napkin out of my pocket, then gently brushed away the rainfall pouring from her eyes.

Skye stutters, exhaling heavily, "Andre, I feel the same way. I really do."

I smile, feeling utterly content. I take her in my arms, wanting to protect the bundle of joy against me, "I'm glad to be of service."

Skye puffs a long, deep breath. Her voice is a bit shaky as I wipe more tears travelling down the edges of her cheeks.

"I'm not lying when I say this," Skye pours. "This summer has been the highest point of my life."

I flash her a crooked grin and squeeze the embrace. I stand her up, take her hand and continue to walk down the concrete path between the trees and the river.

I hang my head low, "I just wish I could do more for you. I feel like I haven't done enough."

Skye stares at me bewildered. "What the fuck‐ You've done the most anyone's ever done for me, stop." She stutters; the tone in her voice was sharp.

"Skye, sometimes enough isn't enough," I reply, looking up at the rustling leaves of the branches up top the trees. "I wanna do more for you."

Skye's face relaxes. Her eyes glistening brighter than the park lamps that we're passing by.

"You know, Andre," Skye calls, halting our movements. "My life was shit. The people that were supposed to teach me, raise me right, and do everything a parent should do, decided that they'd use me as something to just throw around."

I fall silent, cupping her chin, comfortingly, "Let it out."

"But when I saw you that day too, there was something off about you," She announces, scratching her head.

"Huh? Was my hair messy?" I jokingly adjust my hair.

Skye laughs, letting out the widest smile, "No! Stop making this weird."

I kiss her cheek, "Go on, Skye."

"Well, you looked nice," Skye snickers. "Every time I pass people by and are forced to talk to them, I assume the worst in them and look for the bad in people just to avoid future problems. Especially after what happened to me at Cross."

"But?"

"But, when I saw you, it was hard to see someone so well-dressed and good-looking. Hell, I would've broken eye contact with you, but you just looked so damn good," Skye bites her lip, a flirtatious grin spreading across her face. "Did I say that out loud? Fucking hell. You're making me confess my deep dark thoughts."

I stifle a chuckle. "Those are your deep dark thoughts? God, mine are fucking dirty," I beam, stroking her hair softly, "I also never thought I would hear you compliment me. Other than, _'you're shitty.'"_

"I'm so sorry," Skye laughs, then calmly glances up at me. "And also, listen to your neighbour. No hanky-panky business! Seriously though, best first date ever. No one's ever made me feel this happy before, Andre. Thank you so much."

She then leans in, pecking my cheek sweetly, holding her lips there for long. Skye lets go of the kiss, smirking as she brought her sleeve up to m face.

"What's this for?" I ask, recoiling my head back a bit. "That tickles, stop."

Skye giggles, her voice becoming faint as the night grows darker, "There was lipstick on your cheek, Tiger."

My eyes fall on her face, my gaze lingering for an unspecified amount of time.

She thoughtfully watches at me, her face radiating with happiness, "Let's head home. You still need some last-minute packing to do."

I nod, agreeing. We walk hand in hand towards the car, appreciating the park's calming and quiet noises and the rumbling of some vehicles passing by the hotel.

"Wait!" She halts in place, glancing behind her. There's a sudden urgency in her face, but also a softness I've never seen on her either. "There's this place I want you to see. I've never shown it to anyone. I haven't been there for a long time."

"You're gonna fucking murder me," I quip, and to my dismay, she doesn't laugh, only ostensibly studying my face. "Oh, Lordie, don't murder me."

Skye scoffs, "Of course I won't! The place... it's my hiding place after watching bands play at the club."

My heart flutters, "Alcove level?"

"Close to it, but not as good," she replies, that softness in her voice. I begin to feel the specialty within me, knowing that she's showing me her escape.

The escape she always goes alone, and now she has someone with her to go.

I don't want to disappoint her, so I'll cherish this spot so deeply because I'm the only one Skye is showing this too, the only person she's ever going to show.

That's an amazing feeling.

We walk up a narrow hill, reaching the top incredibly quickly, and once I hit the top, my jaw drops to the floor.

The lights are even brighter up here than down there. This place is so designated that no railings are protecting us from falling off.

The city skyline flashes in our direction, so bright, so mesmerizing that if I were to stare at this every night, it would never get old.

"Skye, this is better than alcove level," I tell her, seeing her smug grin and crossed arms. "Holy fuck, look! You can see University Bridge from here!"

I look over to the right, glancing excitedly at Skye before pointing over near the Bessborough. "And Broadway Bridge is right there!"

I peek over the edge, surprised to find the river running right under us. "It's the river! Again! Did you know you could see--"

"I know you can," Skye steps forward just a few steps past me. "It's not on alcove level, no. Not for me, at least."

I gaze at her, puzzled, "Really? May I ask why?"

Skye's head jeers, looking straight down into the dark waters below.

"It wasn't an escape to relax, Andre," Skye continues looking over the edge. "I came here to... contemplate. If I should–"

I latch onto her arm, pulling her small body into me.

"Woah there! Are you okay?" Skye stiffens but soon wraps her arms around me.

I don't answer for a while, my mind trying to deny the fact she came up here to consider ending her life.

But from the way she acted so calm about, so desensitized about the thought of doing it that it would be too foolish for me to deny it completely.

I set my chin on top of her head. "You thought about killing yourself here, did you?"

I feel her nod into my chest.

I couldn't help but start crying again, this poor kind-hearted girl straddled against me.

"I came here to look at the scenery, yes," Skye's voice muffles. "But mostly, I stared over that edge so many times; that every time I came here, I was closer and closer to doing it. I recognized it was getting so bad, so I eventually stopped. And thank God I did. Otherwise, I might have–"

"Shhh," My voice cracks. "You... Oh God, Skye, I'm so sorry."

She doesn't reply, only digging her face into my chest further. All I feel is her body shake, her sobbing muffled by the fabric of my sweater.

I rub her back soothingly, holding her tighter, as if I'm holding her back from doing it, kissing the top of her head repeatedly in silence.

...

The crows let out caws in the distance, crickets and other bugs clicking in the night, the quiet, low breeze humming past us as we walk down the path to the parking area near the ice cream stand.

Despite what occurred and what I learned at the top, the stroll back was relaxing, almost hypnotizing. Hearing our steps trickle down the paths we have to travel across.

Skye had cozily snuggled her head on my shoulder during the walk, her face neutral and attentive, appreciating the nature around us.

After what seemed like a long stroll, we reach the car, the twinkling moon high in the night sky.

Of course, the city lights block out the stars, but we were thankful that we had those moments of talking. The moments of clarity and confessions slipping out from us both.

Skye turns down the volume of the radio, promptly tapping my shoulder.

"What is it?"

Skye clears her throat, "You remember where I live?"

I nod, focusing on the road, "Yeah. Cul-de-sac a few blocks inside Hampton Village."

Skye smirks, surprisingly, her voice sounding deadpan, "Smartypants."

"Thanks, Dad."

I can feel Skye's gaze piercing the side of my head.

Confused, she mumbles tiredly, "You're welcome? Weirdo."

As I arrive in front of Skye's giant home, I escort her to the front door, watching her tap in the pin in her doorknob.

Our gazes linger in each other's eyes for a moment. I notice them twinkle in the moonlight, the scent of her hair still fresh after how long we'd stayed out.

Her sparkling eyes explore mine as she strokes my face.

"I won't have to worry about you slipping away, huh?" Skye asks with a grin.

I kiss the crown of Skye's head, and she makes a sound suspiciously similar to a squeak. I gently link my forehead to hers once again, her warm breath gliding across my lips.

"You won't ever have to. I mean, just look at you," I step back this time, looking her up and down with a thankful grin on my face. "Even if I tried, you'd just draw me in again."

Skye rolls her eyes and hugs me tightly, squeezing the embrace last second.

She raises her head to look at me, wrapping my hands around her waist. She rests her hands on my shoulders.

Skye blushes as I grip onto her waist tighter.

She awkwardly tucks a chunk of hair behind her ear, "See you in a week, Andre."

Skye's POV

"See you in a week, Skye-with-an-e," Andre pressed a soft, gentle kiss on my nose, poking my forehead. "Even though I'm gone only a week, I'll still miss you, lots."

Painfully, we let go of each other, and he takes one step backward off the front stair of the doorstep.

"I'll miss you, too," I wave good-bye, wincing while watching him walk away farther and farther. He enters his car, and with a loud rev of the engine, he drives away, the light from him dimming down the farther he gets down the dark road.

I jerk my keys into the doorknob and enter my house. I slip out of my shoes, march up the stairs and lock myself into my room.

I plop down tiredly on my bed, clutching my necklaces tightly with my fingers.

I don't change out of my clothes. Instead, I fluff the blanket over the top of me and close my eyes, still holding on tight to his gifts.

This was my first ever date, and I had it with the most unpredictable and adorable guy I've ever met in my life. This date made me understand that I wasn't a deadweight after all, that I was someone worth caring for, but in all honesty, it's still hard for me to look at myself that way.

Instead, however, I was literally someone's light that guided them out of such a dark place in their life. And honestly, he's done just as much for me, maybe even more than what he claims. For this, I'm eternally grateful for Andre, and I'll forever be in his debt; that goes for the others, too.

I did all that I could to avoid people my whole life, even though I knew meeting new people would be inevitable. I tried my best to get people to avoid me, but these people were more intrigued by me than frightful. Instead, they accepted me for who I am and love me as much as they loved each other.

This was so new to me, being in that kind of environment. And suddenly, this charming, clutz of guy sweeps me off my feet and lovingly appreciates who I am, on the inside and out.

What were the chances of me seeing him that day, the chances of seeing Marjorie, too?

It scares me, thinking about how my life would be right now without them; my existence would still feel useless.

Maybe I would've gone back up on the cliffside and followed through with what I wanted to do for so long.

Tonight marks an important event: A life-changing first date made me recognize I was more than what I perceived myself to be. I was someone's light; I finally have some purpose.

As cloudy and mysterious it is, I can now see a future that is open to many more possibilities. If something like this could happen to me, who knows what else is in store?

For the first time in my own home, I had a wonderful, peaceful, and well-deserved sleep.


	48. She Looks So Perfect

_3:40 p.m._   
_August 2, 2019_

Skye's POV

Nick arrives shortly after John and Tagu, the couple talking to Rory on Andre's lawn.

I stare out the living room window, waving at our friends who are on the outside. Some help Andre and his parents put luggage in the Odyssey, while others watch on and wait for them to finish.

It's only Adrian and me inside the house, Nanay and Tatay opting to stay outside to see their family off.

Adrian took a while to get ready, but he stays inside anyway, doodling inside his notebook.

"Let's go outside, Adying," I begin walking down the stairs, smiling as he jumps off the couch. "If you don't get out there fast, I might take your spot and go with them instead."

He laughs, rushing past me, slipping on some shoes and bolting right out of the garage door.

I didn't realize I was dreading this day until it actually came. A week doesn't seem so long, but it's still hard to see someone you like so much have to go away for that time.

I lean against the house, waving to Rory as she glances my way, still mingling with John and Tagu.

They gesture me to come to them, the sun blinding me once I leave the shade underneath the roof. Tagu pulls me toward her, hugging me from behind.

I giggle, "Jeez, what's gotten into you?"

"Nothing, just missed you," Tagu pats my face. "You met Rory, right?"

I nod, "Met her when Andre and I got home on the 26th," I clarify, facing Rory. "How's the jetlag been?"

"Easy! My body acclimates very easily after a long trip," She stretches, smiling brightly. "I'm glad to be back here. Get to catch up with some friends from school."

John cracks his knuckles, removing his glasses and inspecting them. "Honestly, have never talked to you in my life," He coldly says but grins at her. "Only know you cause' of Andre, but hey, we're friends now, I guess."

Rory scoffs, putting a hand on her hips, "Absolutely, we're friends! Can't wait to see what they've done to the mall," She turns to me. "Any of your other friends need a ride?"

"I think you'll have to ask Tagu or Marjorie," I shrug, my hand latching onto Tagu's arm around my neck.

"Oh, don't worry about taking anyone," Tagu waves off her hand. "I have a free spot, and so does M.J. and Lance."

Marjorie waltzes up to us after hearing her name, jumping up on Rory, excited to see her again after school had ended.

Rory laughs giddily, "Woah, there!" She snakes her arms around Marjorie's waist, swaying around during the hug. "I missed you, too!"

I watch the two friends warmly, and there's a little bit of that feeling inside me. I missed my friends a lot too, but I don't know how to tell them that without finding the right words.

"You can ride with Skye and me; Nick and Quinn are going with John and Tagu," Marjorie offers. "Speaking of, Quinn is late. She might miss saying good-bye."

Shrugging Tagu's arm off me, I walk off the grass and onto the driveway, pointing down the road in the hazy waves of heat. "Speak of the Devil," I mutter.

A bright SUV pulls over across the road, and low and behold, Quinn appears from the shade. She utters something to who I think is her dad before she starts jogging across the street.

"Hi, everyone!" Quinn pants, fanning herself with a hand, and with the other, shielding her eyes from the sun. "Where's the man of the hour?"

I point inside the garage, "He's there," I nod at Quinn. "Nice seeing you again."

"Likewise, Sister," She winks, running up to his grandparents and offering a hand for the sign of respect. They look surprised to see her again, clearly remembering her despite how long it's been for them. She then disappears inside the garage.

Rory claps abruptly, her mouth gawking open briefly. "Shoot! I forgot something inside the house!" She twirls and begins speed-walking back toward her house. "Don't leave without me, M.J!"

"We won't; we have plenty of time," Marjorie reassures her, slipping an arm through mine. "Let's walk, Skye."

John and Tagu start marching up the lawn, moving to the bench under the shade.

Marjorie teasingly nudges at my side, eyeing me suspiciously. "How was the date?"

My heart skips a beat, "It was good."

"Just good?"

I sigh, rolling my eyes. I pull Marjorie aside, near her car. "It was Goddamn amazing, Marjorie! Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Fuck yeah, that's what I wanted to hear!" Marjorie starts jumping, holding out my hands.

I try holding her in place, shushing her cautiously. "Shhhh! You're making everyone stare!"

Marjorie yelps, forcing me to cover her mouth. "Marjorie!"

She giggles, pushing me off her playfully. "I'm glad it went amazing then!" She yells out one last time.

I glare at her, "You have a death wish, do you?"

She shakes her head, "Yup if it means you can tell me the details, I'm okay with dying."

I shake my head, "Oh, bite me."

As I walk back toward the garage, I feel a pair of arms slide around my waist. From the way this embrace feels, I already know who it is.

"Hello to you, too," I turn around, placing my hands on Andre's shoulders. "About time you greeted me."

He leans in to kiss my forehead. "Sorry, needed to help Paolo with his bags."

I spot the kid coming out the front door, squinting at the bright rays of sun shining down on him.

"I thought you and Adrian were still inside the house," Paolo approaches us. "Kept trying to call you two to the basement."

"Did you clean up the drumset after using it?"

Paolo nods delightfully, "Yeah, thanks for letting me use it."

We three move our heads to the call for Paolo's name, seeing his dad gesture at him to come to carry the cooler with him to the Odyssey.

The way Andre's family decided to travel was together in one car. It would save gas, and if Paolo's parents came with them, Pao's dad and Andre's dad could rotate the driving if one got tired. They also had an extra seat left, serving as additional space for food and other bags they may bring.

Andre also told me they'd be meeting up with his cousins' family, plus Ate Tracy's boyfriend. I wish I could just go with them, but my parents would kill me for disappearing again. Unless they were here to kick me out again, I would've gone in a heartbeat, albeit with many risks.

I chuckle at myself, finding it funny that now I really want to be kicked out. What I want most of all is if they kick me out for good, but if their 'friends' start noticing that one of their children are missing, their reputations would be tarnished. They're clever with the timing when they kick me out, so no one knows it ever happened in the first place.

A light tap on my right shoulder prompts me to turn around, seeing Adrian standing in front of me with a piece of paper in his hands.

"Hi, bud," I greet him, reaching over to ruffle his hair. Andre and I part from our embrace, both of us facing him.

Adrian shyly shuffles his feet, "Kuya keeps telling me you'll miss me more than him."

I laugh, despite the circumstances, "Yeah? I admit it, I will miss you," I find the words for Adrian at least. "I won't be able to sing with you for a couple of weeks."

Adrian's eyes light up, and his teeth shimmer as he smiles. He flips over the piece of paper in his hand, and I'm surprised to see what he had drawn.

"Since Kuya took you on a date, I drew something for you," Adrian stutters, passing on the drawing to me. "It's you."

I tilt my head, realizing this had been the doodle he'd been drawing on the couch when we were still inside. I purse my lips, flattered by his actions.

"Where's my face?" I ask, raising my eyebrow.

He shrugs, "Your face would be hard to draw. It's too pretty."

A hand wraps around Adrian's shoulder.

"He's right," Andre agrees, poking my forehead. "In plus, knowing you, I bet you wouldn't want a face. You like how mysterious this looks."

"I wouldn't use that word, but I can't disagree," I tuck a strand behind my ear. "I'll keep this with me always, Adrian."

Adrian's eyes go wide, delighted at my words and sauntering away shortly after. I'm glad that now I have something from both of my favourite boys in the world.

I fold the paper carefully, pulling out my wallet and slipping it inside one of its pockets.

All too soon, the clock hits four, and the white van pulls out of the garage, their dad gesturing the two boys to get in. Andre hesitates for a moment, rounding up all his friends and giving them a few last words. He circles back to me, stroking my cheek softly.

His eyes drop for a moment before he presses his lips against my forehead again. "Don't do anything stupid."

I actually grin, "Tell that to the others," I joke with him, reaching up to adjust his glasses. I turn my head to kiss the edge of his palm. "Now go, before I force you to stay here instead."

Andre softly lifts his head from my face. He says good-bye to me, but I can't hear him. All I can see is his face and his mouth moving, and eventually, he hops into the van. Andre's parents wave at us as well as Nanay and Tatay, before driving off into the distance, and from this time on, I wouldn't see them in a week.

I turn to face my friends, an unfamiliar emotion clouding my head. Suddenly, I feel a pair of hands massaging my shoulder, and I turn around, involuntarily hugging Marjorie.

"Awe, Skye," Marjorie comforts me, soothingly rubbing my back.

Nanay starts moving toward the garage, telling us to be careful in Tagalog. And with her and Tatay disappearing into the garage, the large door closes shut, my heart skipping a beat once I hear it hit the ground.

"Alright," John whistles at everyone. "Who's going with who? Miguel, Thu Thu and Christie said they'd just meet us there."

Rory steps forward, "I'm going with you two, John."

"Same here," Nick extends an arm. "I'm Nick, by the way."

She reaches for it and shakes it firmly, "Rory, nice to meet you!" She shifts her attention to Quinn, who'd been fidgeting around with her hands, dying to meet Rory, too. "And you must be, Quinn."

"Mhm!" Her voice cracks and she clears it quickly. "I'm Quinn!"

Rory nods solemnly at her, hopping into the back of Tagu's jeep. "See you all there!"

Tagu choruses the same, starting up her car and driving off.

I nudge at Quinn's side, "I've never seen you so flustered."

Quinn stutters uncharacteristically, her eyes moving around wildly. "Uh, I wasn't flustered," She coughs. "Just not every day you meet a pretty girl that's single."

I snort, "You're hilarious," I say. "Why didn't you react like that when you saw me, then?"

Quinn gasps at my sudden but unusual self-confidence, "Bold of you to assume I'd be shy around a shy girl," She teases. "In plus, I could smell Andre all over you. Could tell something was going on between you two just by the way you looked at each other."

"Get in the damn car," I stumble my words this time. "You can have shotgun."

Today, there are no clouds, only a blue-sky with the sun shining brightly, happily in its vast beauty.

The car ride is quiet, for me at least, Quinn and Marjorie talking most of the time. There'd been a few times where they'd ask me a question or two, but I usually answered quickly, not giving them more than a sentence each time.

They got the message; they probably know how I feel and understand I need some time to think to myself. I appreciate it greatly.

Marjorie goes through the security gates after getting a parking ticket, moving down into the underground parking area and finding a convenient spot near the entrance. Funnily enough, Tagu's jeep is there, but no one's inside it.

I step out of the car, Marjorie and Quinn surrounding me as we begin approaching the automatic doors. They swoosh open for us, and we see the four, plus Miguel, Christie and Thu Thu, talking by the parking machines where you have to pay.

Thu Thu lights up when she sees Quinn, completely ignoring both Marjorie and me.

"Hey there," Thu Thu hesitantly approaches her, stopping her in her tracks,

I stay beside Marjorie, John stretching his arms up tiredly.

"Where are the others, man?" He yawns. "I'm hungry as hell. Are we eating before we go shopping?"

Marjorie nods, scuffling her way to the elevators. "They're right behind us, pretty sure. I'm going upstairs right now, gotta get my paycheck from Garage."

"I'll go with you," I offer with a smile, pressing the button. "I guess just meet us at the food court?"

"Sounds good," John anxiously shuffles his feet.

Thu Thu and Quinn are busy talking to each other, Rory still conversing with Tagu.

I walk into the elevator with Marjorie. She pushes the 'M' button, and it hastily starts climbing up once the doors shut.

No words are exchanged between us, just waiting for the elevator doors to open once again.

I step out first, Marjorie holding the door for a family before she gets out of the elevator. She then opens the glass door for me, letting me pass through first into the mall itself.

Like any Friday afternoon, the mall is packed, but not so crowded where it gets unbearable to trudge through.

The Garage store Marjorie works at mainly sells woman's clothing, and honestly, I've gone there to buy some tanks or clothes that I thought looked good on me.

The store is located right next to Purdy's Chocolatier on the bottom floor, so M.J. and I only had to turn a single corner from the glass encasing the elevators and walk straight toward the store.

"You gonna use your paycheck today?" I ask her curiously.

She shakes her head, "Some of it, yeah. It's the first time we've actually been shopping together, so let's go all out today," She beams, putting her hands inside her pockets. "Oh yeah, and I wanna buy food."

I nod in agreement with her, but still, something feels off. I can't explain it well, but it's similar to the feeling I had experienced earlier after Andre's family left their house. If I had to describe it, it's between sadness and uneasiness. What's frustrating is, it's jabbing at my head, and sometimes I can sense it in my stomach. It's a very annoying feeling, but it's only agitating because I don't know what it really is.

"Wait here, okay?" Marjorie jogs into the store, and I lean against its white brick walls, glancing up at the pink sign that's mostly lit up.

My stomach starts to grumble, sighing heavily after I remember I hadn't eaten breakfast today. I woke up anxious in the morning, wanting to go to Andre's right away before they had to leave. I guess now I'm paying the price for wanting to see him so bad.

"Skye!" Thu Thu calls, now with the rest of our friends walking in a sort of giant bubble.

I smirk at the sight of the group, wondering how big it's getting despite one being away and me and Marjorie separating for a little bit.

"We eating first?" Julianna inquires; she and Lance break away from the group to come to me.

"That's the plan," I push off the wall.

Marjorie walks out of Garage, staring at her envelope delightfully. She looks up briefly, having to do a doubletake once she sees the entire group.

"Jesus, there's a lot of us."

John trudges past everyone, "There's 12 of us! Now can we please go eat!"

My stomach murmurs again, this time, the pain more bothersome. I swiftly follow behind John, while the others slowly strut after us. Walking down this seemingly empty side of the mall is nice and quiet, even with a lot of people being here. The hallway is large, only Purdy's Chocolatier facing the outside, and the only store in this vicinity, disregarding the shops in front of us like Boathouse and Tommy Gun's Barbershop off in the side.

John swoops past Boathouse. We find ourselves in an unusual hallway we only recognize because of a few stands there. Most notably, E.B. Games and Coles on the right side, both facing _Crepe Delicious_ on the other side.

"Something isn't right," I say, still walking beside John. "Jolo, the food court isn't here anymore."

He scoffs in disbelief but soon realizes the area where the food court was is not blocked off by white walls and construction boards.

"Where the hell is the food court?"

Miguel appears right next to him, "If you actually waited for us, we coulda showed you where it is," he groans, pointing at one of the plastered walls. "It says they moved it upstairs."

Everyone catches up to us, all stopping their conversations from listening to us.

"Oh, I forgot!" Jolo cheers, jogging forward giddily. "It's upstairs now! And we're gonna have an H&M next December!" He proceeds to chime this while talking like a cliche white girl, mixed in with his exaggerated Filipino accent.

I remain silent, as did the others. I raise my eyebrow, moving past him. "You're holding us up, c'mon."

He puffs, "Y'all are no fun," he growls. "Rawr, XD."

"Stop. Talking," I sharply turn around, glaring at him.

John slightly draws back, the crowd of our friends moving past him.

Christie and Miguel catch up to me, letting me stand in between them as we keep walking.

"How was your day so far, Skye?" Christie whistles, her strong accent blasting in the air.

I turn to look at her, the brown in her eyes glistening in the abrupt shine of sunlight through a window above us. "It was fine," I try to be sincere. "Just hungry."

Christie nods approvingly, "Let's eat lots then! We'll be here long to shop afterwards, so we need some energy."

I grin at her lighthearted remark, "Alright, you two eat lots then, too."

Miguel flashes me an 'ok' with his fingers, the couple moving past me, rushing to the escalator that leads into the food court upstairs.

Going up the escalator, I see the new sign, presumably the new food court's name: Midtown Common.

I reach the top, glancing all around me to see all the same restaurants aside from Koryo, which got replaced by a few new places, but everything pretty much stayed. The setup now is much cleaner, the tables and chairs all new and even some tables facing the window.

The food court is packed, but I can't see any spots where all 12 of us can sit close to one another from this distance.

Julianna and Lance run into me again, and I decide to walk with them. "Mind if I sit with you guys? If we all have to separate?"

Julianna shakes her head, "Of course you can sit with us. What are you planning on getting?"

I peer around the area again, finding Edo at the end of the line of fast-food stands.

I point to it, Julianna breaking off from Lance and me, "I'm getting Bourbon Street. I'll try finding you guys once everyone's seated."

Bourbon Street is between New York Fries and KFC, on the opposite side of where Edo is. Lance and I begin walking to the stand, seeing the others scatter across Midtown Common.

However, John and Tagu are already in line for Edo, while Christie and Miguel are little ways down the pathway in line for Opa!, which has some Greek cuisine.

"What are you getting?" John turns halfway, crossing his arms.

I squint up at the menu, "Bento box. Probably Sukiyaki Beef with California rolls, spring rolls with noodles."

"Nice," John pulls out his wallet, slipping his debit card from its holder. "I might get the same, actually."

Lance taps my shoulder, "You wanna just order together?"

"I don't mind," I stare up at him.

"What's Tagu getting?" Lance asks, us both moving up in line.

Tagu momentarily spins around. "Chicken ramen, extra spicy. Tasty as fuck."

I scan around Midtown Common once again, seeing Quinn and Thu Thu at the Subway at the very edge of the food court, where it branches off into the mall's second floor. Between the Booster Juice stand and the exit is the H&M John had mentioned that was being constructed, concealed by a thick blanket and a sign.

John and Tagu pay for their orders, grabbing two trays from underneath the stand, sliding it across a platform, the chefs quickly readying up the stove to cook the food. They cook right in front of you, which is cool. Usually, the food stands like this have food already in a warming tray, and the workers just ask you what you want on your plate.

It's nice seeing the food being cooked right in front of you; it somehow makes it more appetizing than it already is. Opa! is much of the same, but the chefs face the wall instead of facing you.

A worker puts Tagu's bowl of ramen on the steel railing above the stove. They quickly add the thin ramen noodles, as well as the components of the soup itself. She, of course, asks politely to drizzle in some siracha for the extra spice she wanted.

"Hi, uh, can I have a teriyaki chicken," Lance stares up at the menu, then calls my name to state my order.

"I'd like a sukiyaki beef bento box with California rolls, spring rolls and noodles, please," I smile thankfully.

I take out the exact amount my order is worth, and Lance does the same, both of us handing our money to the cashier. I sneak a few coins into their 'tips' jar before moving down the line and grabbing myself a tray.

"Miguel and Christie found a place for all of us," Tagu yelps, catching our attention. She points to the middle of the food court, Rory and Nick sitting in front of Miguel and Christie in a nice little booth.

Around them are multiple tables and booths next to them, the soft cushioned chair being one long one, with tables spaced out in between.

Across that area are round tables and chairs, just enough for all of us to sit by each other.

Quinn and Thu Thu sit at the only table with two chairs from behind them, both sitting in front of each other with their subs.

They're still close enough to Miguel, Christie, Nick and Rory to speak to them, John and Tagu sneaking by and taking the table right beside the four.

The chefs hand me my box, and I sprinkle in some chilli seasoning overtop the entree. Lance does the same, and both of us start walking toward our friends.

Julianna gets there before us, taking the last table at the end of the booth chair. Lance sits right next to her, and I sit in a metal chair directly in front of Julianna.

"You seen M.J?" I ask her, snapping my chopsticks into two.

She nods, putting a potato into her mouth. "She's still at Bourbon Street, should be here in a couple of minutes," she chews, then reaches for my sleeve and tugs. "So, tell me, are you and Andre official now?"

I shyly play around with a mushroom in my bento box. "No," I take a deep breath, running a hand through my hair. "We decided to take it slow after I confessed to him, but the date went well enough to get both of us to decide, yes, we're more than friends."

My table remains silent, and amidst the sounds of the mall deafening me, I can hear Marjorie's unsteady footsteps running toward us.

"DID I HEAR THAT CORRECTLY?" She slams her tray down onto the table.

"How the hell did you even hear me from that far?"

She sits down next to me, grabbing a spoon and fork and beginning to eat a piece of sour chicken. "I have super hearing when it comes to tea being spilt," she quips, swallowing. "So, did I hear that correctly or not?"

I sigh, stuffing my mouth with noodles and beef to prolong the inevitability of me answering her question. I swallow, "Yes."

Something seems to erupt within her, pumping her fists up in the air. "YES, FINALLY!"

"Wha-- HEY!" I scream, my body stiffening as Marjorie hugs me from the side. "What's the big idea? You're making the others stare."

Lance chuckles, "No, no, keep going. It's funny."

John cups his mouth, "Yes, keep talking! We can all hear you!"

The others laugh quietly, giggling within their little tables. As embarrassing as it feels, I understand that they're all happy for me; all their smiles that come my way are sincere, but it's kind of annoying even then.

"So, Skye," John calls out again. "What--"

"Stop talking; your mouth is full," I roll my eyes playfully, taking a sip from my straw.

John apologetically nods, "Okay, okay," he starts. "What made you two come to that decision?"

I exhale deeply, directly looking at him, tossing a roll into my mouth. "The date went incredibly well!" I hear my voice raise into a squeal, coming to the realization of how vulnerable my emotions had gotten after hanging around these people. "Andre didn't drop the question, but after that date, after... the things said, I guess we're really dating now."

Marjorie excitedly hops in her chair, drawing at my shirt, "What'd you say? What did he say? WHAT HAPPENED?"

I put a finger on her lips. "No matter how many times you ask, I ain't telling any of you."

I hear Thu Thu groan from her table, "What if we all have a girl talk? Will you tell us then?"

"Let me think about it," I sarcastically rub my chin, looking up and pretending to think. "Nah, still no."

"Aw, c'mon," Quinn disappointedly leans on her palm, taking a bite from her sandwich.

The commotion dies down, all of us going back to our own table conversations.

Marjorie's smile hasn't disappeared since I told her, which concerns me greatly because she's planning something dubious.

"M.J," I whisper, leaning in close to her threateningly. "What are you thinking?"

She coughs, taking a long gulp of water. "I'm going to start a movement."

"Huh?" I'm genuinely confused.

She spins halfway to face me, "From this day until the day you and Andre are official, I will be bothering both of you non-stop!"

"You have zero boundaries," I would ask her to stop, but thinking about it more, I'd never get Marjorie to stop something she wants to do. Honestly, she's doing it for my sake, but mostly to tease me.

I don't like being teased, but what I've noticed since the beginning is that my friends have no boundaries, as I had said.

"Everyone here has no boundaries," Julianna snickers. "Sorry, Skye, I know you don't like it, but I hope you've gotten used to it."

"I've gotten used to it, alright," I burp softly, closing up my bento box and finishing the last of my drink. "Excuse me. Anyway, it's kinda hard to get used to it. Such a life-changing thing to have friends."

Lance laughs, shaking his head. "Just like the first time us four ate out. That's when you were still kind of defensive toward us," he reminisces. "Any life-changing advice you wanna hear this time around?"

"Who says I'm not defensive now? And no thanks, I haven't got anything on my mind."

"Let me remind you of how we view you, Skye," Julianna clears her throat. "Tough, goth exterior with a white, fluffy marshmallow interior."

I stand up quickly, "Okay! Stop now, please," I plead, but a smile creeps off my lips. "Give me your trays; I'll throw them out."

I reach over for everyone's finished trays, turning around and proceeding to the garbage disposals. I push the contents of the tray down the hole, putting them on top of the disposals and hurrying back to the table.

"Who's finished eating?" I look over to the others.

Tagu sips her soup from the bowl, and John had already thrown away his tray. Miguel, Christie, Rory and Nick still have some stuff to bring down, and Quinn and Thu Thu are on the last stretch of finishing their subs.

"You guys can go ahead if you want," Rory walks over to the disposal, looking at us.

Julianna refuses, wiping her lips with a napkin, "No, it's okay. We'll just wait for everyone."

The brunette sits back down, discussing with Christie about the countries and landscapes she went to in Europe. I'm glad Christie had gotten comfortable over the past few weeks; she seemed really shy at first. But who am I to speak? It's taken me longer to fully open up to them, and Christie here has been talking proudly and calling me darling. I'd hate it if it weren't for how incredibly sweet she actually is.

I only met Rory recently, but our first meeting wasn't as awkward as my first meetings with the others and Quinn. I guess being around everyone so much, I got kind of used to being social, however, with some difficulty.

"We're finished," Quinn holds a fist against her lips. "Wait, wait, let's stay for five more minutes. I hadn't ate that much for a while."

I spin around, "How long was the sub?"

She giggles mischievously, biting her lip, her eyes fixated on the ground. "12 inches."

Thu Thu sucks in her lips, disappointed. She stands up, gathering the trash, putting it in one of the bags, and then promptly walks over to the garbage.

"It was one of the meanest 12 inchers I've ever--"

"Quinn!" Thu Thu barks, shushing her sharply. "...Don't talk like that."

The redhead giggles, leaning back in her chair and bringing her hands behind her head. "It's all jokes. Besides, I wouldn't tell if I was being serious or not."

"Were you?" I tilt my head.

She lights up, her face pulsing red. "Let's go now, yeah?" Her voice cracks. "Where's everyone going?"

"Christie and I wanna go to Roots downstairs, then probably just walk around," Miguel says, standing up and dusting off his hands.

Rory scooches over, settling an arm around Tagu. "I'm probably gonna follow these two for a while and then wander aimlessly after," she giggles. "Seriously though, I'll tag along with some people but go to Coles after a while. Needa find some plays."

The word 'play' alerts my fight or flight senses. For no particular reason, that is, only that I'm genuinely excited about helping with the plays next year and theatre in general with the tech. And especially after Rory talked to me about the guy named Ajay, who's apparently gifted in drama and the arts.

If that is true, I'd love to work alongside another student, especially one that's directing. It'd be much easier than listening to boring adults, with all due respect to my old teachers, how they organize and direct the plays. Student-led events seem more interesting, as people our age get kind of ambitious, more so than some adults.

"Where do you wanna go?" Julianna kisses her boyfriend's cheek.

He shrugs, "Wherever the wind takes us."

"Sounds good to me," she slides out of the booth with him.

Tagu and John mentioned before that they'd just be walking too, wanting to just come and hang out with us and each other.

Nick simply wanted to go to E.B. Games, "Anyone wanna come with me?"

"I'll come along," Rory offers, stretching up. "Coles is right next to it, so may as well."

"Alright, let's go then, guys," Nick choruses, all of us walking like a big bubble toward Midtown Common's exit.

After going through the sign, we disperse. Nick and Rory circle back around, both laughing simultaneously as the stores they were going to are accessible at the other set of escalators.

"What was the point of going through with us?" Tagu hollers, raising her arms.

Rory cups her mouth, "Dramatic effect! Duh!" She twirls dramatically, flashing her hands in the air as the two turn the corner.

Tagu murmurs, "Theatre, kids."

"Oh, you're fine," I snicker. "Marjorie, where do you wanna go?"

She rubs her chin; the others already far away from us, all separated throughout the mall. Marjorie and I are in the middle of an intersection, where the two escalators are on this side of the 2nd floor.

"Let's shop for your clothes, first," She suggests, going down the escalator without warning.

I rush on, glaring at her. "What's the rush?" I ask. "And no, it's fine. That bag you gave me can only hold so many clothes."

She clicks her tongue repeatedly. "I got on so quickly because I knew you would say no. Now you're stuck with me."

"That still doesn't make sense, Marjorie."

"Yeah?" She sticks out her tongue. "Yeah, shut up. You ain't getting out of this. In plus, you might find something worthwhile."

I scoff, walking off the escalator beside her. "Last time I went here, I bought a stuffed toy."

"Why, though?"

"It was a goth build-a-bear," I argue. "I saw that from the window and knew I had to get it before it got shut down because of the renovation."

Marjorie leads me through a semi-thick crowd, still permeable enough to walk through. She stops us in front of the Aritzia store, and I can't help but taste the slightest of disdain.

"Really? You know where I found these clothes?" I fluff my shirt and kick a leg up behind me.

Marjorie ignores me, walking inside the store with crossed arms.

"Value Village," I mutter, following her hesitantly. "Is that what you wanted to hear? I go thrifting for these clothes."

She shushes me. "We've all been thrifting, Skye. It's not like there's a Hot Topic in Saskatoon where you can go to for clothes," She mocks me jokingly. "If not here, Spencers. And you _know_ what's inside that Spencers."

My stomach churns at the reminder of what was at the back of Spencers. How _kinky_ can people be to actually buy that stuff? I mean, they still sell those products. Don't get me wrong, I have gotten some jewelry from there, some clothing that actually aesthetically matches who I am, but Goddamn.

Marjorie puts her arm through mine, guiding me through the store. The clothing looks really good, but they remind me too much of what my mom wears, of how she wants me to dress.

I scorn at a grey suit, so identical to what she wears.

"Wait up, Marjorie," I slide out of her grip. "I gotta look at something."

She breaks off into the other side of the store while I continue staring at the mannequin wearing the clothes.

All I want to do is destroy this thing, burn the clothes, but that would do me good. It wouldn't change a thing about what my life has brought me.

"Skye!" Marjorie's voice echoes inside the store, breaking me out of the trance. I turn around, seeing her gesture at me eagerly. "Now! Faster!"

My walk transforms into a jog, and once I reach her, I share the disdain I'd felt through the expression on my face.

Marjorie notices it quickly, glancing back at where I was standing and spotting the exact same mannequin.

"Don't worry about that," She rushes her sentence, lifting my head. "Look what I found! For a low price, too!"

She points up, and my heart skips a beat once I see what the alarm was about.

On display on top of a platform is another mannequin, wearing a cozy but thin long-sleeve black dress. It has a lace cutout just in front above the lace area. Topping that is a beautiful red bejewelled choker, similar to the necklace I wear every day.

"Oh my," I actually hold onto Marjorie, rejoicing at how beautiful the dress actually is. "Marjorie, it literally screams--"

"SKYE! IT SCREAMS, SKYE!" Marjorie jumps up and down with me, multiple people in the store looking at us both oddly and sincerely. "Are you gonna get it? I know a place here where we can get you another necklace, one with spikes and way thicker."

I step back, still mesmerized by the sight of the dress.

"It seems very wintery, you know what I mean?"

"Yes, now shut up," I tread forward again, sliding through and inspecting the rack of dresses to find my size.

I pull it out, holding it out right next to me. I bite my lip, gazing at Marjorie for validation, anything to convince me to actually buy this dress.

"Ball out, Skye," She walks toward the changing room, sitting down at one of the benches. "Take as much time as you need. Try it on, and I promise you, you will love how you look."

I contemplate her words closely in my head, finally deciding to walk through the change room entrance and finding myself a room.

John's POV

I'm in the Bath and Body Works with Tagu, inspecting through a bunch of hand sanitizer and candle scents. I notice a peculiar candle, grabbing it immediately and turning around to face Tagu.

"Hey, come here and smell this," I screw open the lid for her to lean in and sniff. "It's called 'A Thousand Wishes.'"

She shrugs, "Smells like nighttime."

I puff my chest. She furrows her eyebrows, squinting at me in confusion. "You good?"

"Listen," I say in a low, deep voice. "If I had a thousand wishes, the only wish I'd have is to be with you."

Tagu's mouth hangs, her disappointed look changing the atmosphere of the store.

"You-- shut the fuck up before I break up with your stupid ass."

I laugh loudly, enveloping my arms around her waist and pulling her closer. "I'll shut up if you give me a kiss."

She kisses me briefly, trudging away in her fury of disappointment.

At least the pickup line worked.

Sort of.

It was kind of a time-waster if you ask me.


	49. Dancing in the Moonlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The video showcased in this chapter is a vlog I made almost two-three years ago where me, my family and my girlfriend go to the Exhibition! It's hard to write in all the little and big details in a single chapter, so for those that are curious, this video shows the Exhibition in some of its glory. I'm sorry that some camera work is not that good but again, made this almost two-three years ago.   
> Note, the vlog also doesn't have all the things and attractions the Ex offers because it is just that big! Also, the Market Hall inside Prarie Land Park and some of the rides I mention in this chapter are in the vlog. Enjoy the chapter, and if you watch the video, enjoy the video!

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfyvdTujjCU>

_The Exhibition_   
_4:29 p.m._   
_August 11, 2019_

Marjorie's POV

I park far away from Prairie Land Park. The designated parking area near the amusement park itself is too expensive. All of us already had to buy fast passes, which were 50 dollars each and a card in a plastic casing attached to a lanyard. Considering the food we're going to buy and the games we might play, the parking fee is too hard to justify.

It's only Skye and Quinn with me this time around, and I'm pretty sure we got here earlier than the others.

Skye had previously mentioned that she'd never been at this annual event in multiple other cities. Since Saskatoon's tourism is so limited, this outdoor amusement park is a treat for the locals and the ones visiting.

It's called the Exhibition, and the name is quite literal. It's obviously an organized event, and since it's an amusement park, there are many thrill and children's rides and funhouses for all ages. Of course, there's the carnival food, the games, and there's even a sort of convention inside Prarie Land Park's building called Market Square. It's mostly more food stands and booths that usually sell products, paintings, statues, motor vehicles, you name it.

This event has been coming back to Saskatoon for over 135 years, back in the 1880s. It's a staple for Saskatoon in the summer months that always captures everyone's attention when you drive through Circle drive and see the massive thrill rides.

Skye walks eagerly in front of us. During these months, she told us in the car that if she had to go somewhere with her family, they'd always pass the festival. Despite Skye's love of the indoors, she's always had this curiosity about going to the Ex.

It's the largest summer event in Saskatchewan, which lasts six days. What's cool about it is that well-known musical artists perform at the football stadium, as well as a variety of performers scattered around the park. It's the typical shows, though, hypnotism, animal shows, comedians and magicians. What's unique is the famous singers who come here, and just as long as you have a pass, you can watch for free.

We three make it to the entrance tent, the guard asking us to put any bags or purses into the bin while we walk through and get patted down.

Skye brought a fanny-pack looking thing, and Quinn had a tiny backpack straddled against her. I had nothing, only having to put my phone and wallet into the bin.

We walk through smoothly, gathering our things before Skye jogs up giddily and looks all around her to gaze at the displays in front.

"I never realized how massive the Ex is," Skye's unusual, whimsical smile draws us forward. "Doesn't it go all the way there? And there, too?"

Quinn puts an arm around Skye's waist. "Yes, it does, sis," Quinn brings her forward to look at the Swing of the Century ride. "You been on joyrides before?"

Skye shakes her head, "I can't remember if I have. My life before I turned eight is cloudy," She glances to the right of the Swings and gasps at the ride they call Fireball. It's a rollercoaster that only has the carts travel a single loop vertically. "Can we go on that one? That one looks sick as fuck. Can we?"

Quinn shivers at the sight of it, "Thrill rides aren't really my thing, Bub," She shrugs but gestures her to follow. "But since it's your first time, I'll try anything with you."

I like going on thrill rides sometimes, and I think today will be one of those days.

I halt the two girls, whistling at them.

"We should wait for the others," I suggest, beckoning them to come back. "And I think we're gonna play some games first."

Skye patiently nods, moving to a bench in front of the Swing of the Century.

"She's like a little kid," I laugh, nudging at Quinn. "I've never seen her act like this; she hasn't been edgy the entire day."

We'd planned to go to the EX on the last day, which is today. Surprisingly, not many people go on the last day, because it's always on a Sunday before most people have work. Luckily for our friends, not all of us had jobs, and the ones who do, don't have anything scheduled for Monday.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I tell Quinn to stay with Skye. I run around to one of the fences, behind one of the food stands.

I read what the texts says again to make sure I'm in the right place.

"Psst," A voice hisses, and I put my back against the fence. I kneel down, and from right underneath the fence, I slip a backpack through the cracks. I unzip the bag, delighted to see that everything is there.

"Thanks, Lance," I whisper, walking back into a crowd, scanning around to see if any guards were around.

Yeah, we had to sneak in alcohol. The drinks inside here are way expensive, and also, we're too young to buy any anyway.

Lance had a plug ready for this day, and thank God because no one wanted to go through the hassle of finding one. No one didn't want to sneak around to the side either, too spooked by the amount of security there is.

Somehow this operation is successful. We just needed a bit of luck.

Circling back around near the Swings and Fireball, I notice the others already crowded around the bench.

We're only down two people today, that being Andre since he's on that trip and Rory, who wanted to go with her theatre friends from school. I'm sure we'd run into her and probably others from school. Despite the size of the festival, it's easy to spot people we know.

"You got it?" John slides up next to me, hand in hand with Tagu.

I nod, "Yeah, where's Lance?"

"Still trying to find his way around," He says, looking inside the string bag. "That's a lot."

"You think?" I laugh, asking him to close it up. "It's fine. We're probably gonna drink these before closing, like 11:00ish."

Skye is still sitting down next to Quinn, with Julianna set down on the bench too.

It's nice seeing all my friends again after a week, especially doing something else other than going to the mall or shopping.

"Where to first?" Lance saunters up to us, going behind the bench and wrapping his arms around Julianna.

Skye points to the fireball eagerly. "That," her voice cracks. She stands up, turning around and pointing to another ride, the Mach 3, which is the largest ride here in terms of height. "Then that, and repeat the entire night."

Thu Thu shivers, rubbing her hands. "Ah, I don't think I have the stomach for that," she shrugs.

The screams from the people in the Mach 3 can be heard from here, louder than that of the Fireball and the general public talking around us.

This gigantic ride is 37 meters tall, and riders plummet into a 360-degree rotation, and that includes the seats they sit on. I don't know if all of us have ridden on the Mach 3, but tonight is definitely one of those nights. Skye and I will try convincing everybody.

"Thrill rides later," Nick rolls his shoulder. "I'm kinda hungry. We can go to eat around the park or go to Market Hall to eat."

Skye crosses her arms, "But if we eat, then we might all throw up on the rides!"

"You are unusually jumpy today, and it's scaring me," Nick replies, sucking in his lips. "We'll walk around to let digestion do its thing. So we can play games and look at some of the shows before we ride on anything. There's a petting zoo!"

Skye sighs heavily, "Alright, alright. I'm pretty hungry, too."

Tagu and John are already one step ahead of us, the boy holding onto her while they walk forward.

Skye's maybe a foot or two behind them, and I'm next to Nick, while Thu Thu and Quinn are side by side, shoulder to shoulder.

Miguel and Christie are the cabooses, holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes happily.

I tap my thighs, clicking my lips. "So."

Nick clears his throat, stumbling his words. "How are you?"

"I'm good," I stutter. "Sorry, I'm good, I'm good."

"Yeah? That's nice," He nods slowly.

Skye turns around, squinting at us. "What the hell was that?"

"Nothing happened," I wave her off.

I gulp, still so flustered around Nick when I'm around him. It's been a month since I met Nick, and our conversations still can't exceed a couple of sentences.

I thought the infatuation from our first hang out would have run its course by now, but it's been around ever since. And I don't think it's infatuation anymore.

In its own little corner, we pass by the Zipper ride, and right in front of us is the Pharaoh's Fury ride.

"Are there any rollercoasters this time around?" Skye asks, slowing down to walk beside me.

"I think there's one beside the Haunted House, but the line is usually long during the evening," I answer her, glancing at the game stands and food stands on the inside area of the park. "It smells really good."

Skye nods, "Yeah, I think it was a good idea to eat first."

A loud thundering sound alerts us all, turning our heads over at the spectators watching the Mega Drop ride. It's a crowd favourite at the Ex, and I'm sure Skye would want to ride this, too.

The layout of the Ex is nice and clean-cut. On the carnival's outer edges are the rides, funhouses, and some food stands, and on the inside are the games. There's also a more organized area of it, where one section is mainly games, and food stands and one area are all the rides.

I stare up as we walk underneath the Vertigo, exactly like the Swing of the Century. Still, it rises 130 ft into the air, and you'd be able to see the entire park and some of the city from up there. Of course, it's not as high as the Ferris wheel at the entrance, but it's nice to feel the breeze up there since you're spinning around.

"How far left until the Market Hall?" Lance bobs his head at John.

He turns around while walking, making sure he wouldn't bump into anyone. "Just a little more, we'll know once we pass the kid rides and the petting zoo."

Skye anxiously fiddles with her thumbs, and I put a tentative arm around her shoulders.

"You excited?"

She purses her lips, focusing on her thumbs. "Yeah."

"You don't sound like it," I note.

"Yeah, but I am."

I gaze up again, our group passing by a sign with an arrow that shows where the kids' corner is and another arrow pointing to the Prarie Land Park and the stadium.

I turn my head to the left, seeing all the kid rides like trains, merry-go-rounds and a mini dragon-roller coaster. The only reason I'd ever go here is that some food stands are here, and also the Caterpillar Rollercoaster, which is somewhat still fun to ride.

In front of us, some more food stands and the Alien Abduction ride can be seen. Also, the only ride that costs money, the Slingshot. It's a common attraction in other places, too, and I don't think any of us have ridden it either.

The stadium is massive up close, and it's only the side of it. It's often used as a football stadium, but they usually place a large stage on the field for the performers. The bleachers are way up high. It's the reason why the stadium is large as is.

The petting zoo tent is just on the right, which meant we're close to Prarie Land Park's Market Hall convention. The crowd of people is getting tougher to navigate through, but somehow we all stay together.

Skye silently gazes up at the stadium and peers into the petting zoo, slowing her walking down. She would've been left behind if it wasn't for Christie to come up from behind and walk her through the crowd.

"I'm sorry," She swallows, rubbing her bicep. "It's just, I haven't been at the Ex before. I've been in Praire Land because of business events my family go to."

Christie rubs her back soothingly, "It's okay, Darling. We'll be able to look around for you. It is a yearly even, after all, so all of us will probably end up looking at all the Ex's corners," she reassures her. "Don't worry, okay?"

Skye nods approvingly, now hanging back with Miguel and Christie.

John and Tagu point at a lemonade stand right next to the mini-donut stand, both excitedly jogging up to them.

He wraps his hands around her waist as she orders for them both.

"You want us to wait?" Thu Thu hollers, continuing her walking.

John shakes his head, still hanging onto his girlfriend sweetly, "No, we'll find you after. I'd been wanting lemonade and mini-donuts!"

All of us leave them behind, Skye staring at them longer than usual.

She told me how much she missed Andre, almost twice every day since he had left. I'm surprised she's handling it better than I thought initially, mostly since Andre sends her good morning and good night texts daily. He did his best to find wifi in the states so he could talk to her, but I'm pretty sure they're in British Columbia, so he's safe to use his mobile data.

The entrance of the building is in our sights, just a few more steps through a crowd. The scent of food from the stands had been bothering me since the start of our walk.

"Potato spirals!" Quinn tugs on Thu Thu's arm and points up. "We gotta get some later!"

Thu Thu chuckles, nodding, "Of course, Quinn. I'll get us some later."

"And corndogs! And elephant ears!" Quinn jumps high, hugging Thu Thu's hips tightly.

Thu Thu blushes, her eyes veering away to gaze at the floor rather than look at Quinn instead.

"You think they like each other?" Nick gestures his head at the two girls.

I snicker, leaning close to his ear. "Maybe," I start. "But I don't know if Thu Thu likes girls; maybe she'll come around and realize she does. She and Quinn have been really close since we all ran into her on her camping trip."

Nick bites his lip, laughing, "I noticed it, too. Hopefully, they'll come around. They seem happy, and when you're happy, you'll realize some things you never thought of before."

I glance toward the two girls, still laughing, holding onto each other. Thu Thu's dating life only consisted of boys, and honestly, I can't tell if she does like girls because of her history. But as Nick said, if you're happy about something, you'll come to realize things about yourself you don't know initially.

The airconditioner's air blasts all of us when we go through the door, the satisfied groans caused by the cold breeze coming out of us one by one, like dominoes falling down.

We tread up the ramp, going through steel doors and seeing the Market Hall. It's like a convention for products, but there are food and drink stands along the exits.

Julianna and Lance venture deeper to find tables and chairs next to each other for all of us to sit around.

I keep my eyes peeled on the tables as well, and while I search around, Skye hollers my name.

She waves, tapping the top of a table and sitting down in one of its chairs. I gather everyone up, sitting in front of Skye as they all surround us by sitting down.

"What do they serve here?" Skye questions, looking at the concession.

"Normal stuff like fries and shit, but there's Asian cuisine by the exit," Miguel gets up. "What do you want?"

Christie holds his hand, leading him, "Vietnamese food?"

"Sure," He murmurs, the couple wandering off into the crowd.

Skye pushes her chair in, "I think I'll follow them. Haven't had Vietnamese food for a while."

"Okay, same," I reply, both Skye and I trailing them closely behind. I notice Skye's eyes faltering, her lips in a subtle frown. "You good?"

She sighs, "Just the same thing," she says. "I miss him."

"Have you both texted?"

"Yeah, but I think they're having dinner right about now, like us," Skye chuckles briefly at the connection. "We playing games after we eat, right? I bet I'll win all the prizes."

I laugh, playing along, "Uh-huh, like I'll let you win. If you play against me in one of those basketball shoo-outs, I bet I'd beat you. With a big lead as well."

Skye scoffs, "We'll just have to wait and see, M.J."

Quinn suddenly leaps onto Skye, hugging her tightly from behind. "Skye!"

She stiffens up, shivering and patting Quinn's arm softly. "You're doing too much, Quinn."

Quinn lets go abruptly, flashing her an apologetic look. "Vietnamese food? Is that all we're eating tonight?"

"I don't know about the others, but we can definitely eat later tonight," I tell her. "Carnival food hits different during the night time."

Skye stands in front of Quinn and me in line, Miguel and Christie opting to order together. The conversation with the clerk is quick, both of them already walking to the order-pick-up line. Skye orders Viet rolls and dry ribs with a side of rice.

All of us circle back to the table, our friends already stuffing their mouths with different foods. I eat slowly, drinking water in between from a bottle.

It's the opposite for Skye unusually, eating the fastest I'd ever seen her eat.

"Excited?" I plop a spoonful of rice in my mouth.

"Yeah," She chugs the rest of her cup of water. "Excited to beat you."

"You're still on that?" I laugh, leaning back in my chair. "Is everyone done eating?"

The table choruses both yesses and nos, so maybe a few more minutes and those eating will probably be done their meals.

John and Tagu appear behind us, sitting down across from each other before greeting us.

"Mini donut?" John wiggles the bucket of treats in front of Skye.

Skye peers inside the bucket, shaking her head slowly.

"I heard one time these were Andre's favourite snacks at the Ex," John teases, putting one in his mouth.

She scowls coldly, "And what does that have to do with me not wanting one?"

"Chillax, it's a joke."

"Like, the teasing has to stop," Skye not-so-subtly reaches into the bucket. "It's not funny, and also very annoying--"

She puts two donuts in her mouth, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms as she chews. She turns away sharply, her actions stirring up some laughter among us.

"Andre also liked lemonade," Tagu swigs her cup of lemonade in front of her.

"Yeah, no, I'm full," Skye chuckles, holding onto her stomach. "All jokes aside, where we starting off? For the games?"

Julianna shrugs, gathering all our garbage and throwing them into a nearby can. "Are there some near the building?"

Miguel hums, "There are balloon darts right before the Kids' Corner sign; we can start there and travel inside after."

Soon we are all up on our feet, exiting the building and making the short walk back to the balloon dart game. They're 5 dollars per person, and not going to lie, I don't think we'll be playing that many games tonight. They're very expensive and only worth it if you get the grand prizes, which were usually those fake motorcycles and giant plushies.

Skye and Lance are up first, both determined to get the most balloons popped.

"Both are eager to get prizes for their loves," Quinn murmurs dreamily.

Skye nearly fumbles the darts in her hands, glaring at Quinn piercingly. The worker at the booth yells go, and soon, both friends are throwing those darts wildly, balloons popping loudly and at a rapid pace.

After the long struggle, Lance wins, pointing at the large pink pig stuffie. Skye pants, smiling happily at Lance.

"Nice game," Skye puts her hands on her hips. "Kinda glad I lost. That thing is bigger than me almost."

Julianna giggles, "Yeah, I'm not carrying that the entire night. We can put it in the car if you want?"

Lance struggles to hold it up, slipping through his hands. "It's not like it's heavy; it's just Goddamn slippery," He gestures at his jeans' pockets. "C'mon, babe, let's put this in the car. Just get the car keys for me."

The two walk off into the crowd, so easily seen among the large wave of people due to the large pig stuffie.

"Try finding us! We'll be moving lots," Tagu screams. "Ah, fuck it. They didn't hear me."

"I'm sure they'll find us," Skye looks at the tent behind the balloon game. "What the fuck, they have horseshoes here?"

Miguel smirks, "First time I've seen it. You wanna go? All of us can have a turn on that."

"You guys don't wanna do the balloon popping game?" Skye sounds confused.

Christie shakes her head, "It's a hassle for the worker there. Having to put new balloons up again."

We go through maybe ten or so more games before reaching the games by the far end of the park. Of course, we had to skip a few games, we aren't made of money, and we still want to buy snacks later.

Skye maybe won four of those games, getting stuffed toys and handing them out to random people we walked by. It's funny seeing her so jumpy and outgoing, even saying hello to some people before giving it to them.

Surprisingly, all of them accepted the prizes. Other than her, however, Christie, Quinn and John come close to winning the second-most games.

I keep my eyes peeled for Julianna and Lance, but they haven't shown up yet. I tried calling her earlier after I rotated out of a game, but there wasn't an answer at all.

"Alright, M.J. Moment of truth, it's basketball time," Skye rubs her hands together, handing the worker ten dollars. "I'll even pay for you."

"Wow, you're paying more to just lose."

Skye rolls her eyes playfully, dribbling the ball before readying her feet.

"Do you play ball?" John asks out of the blue.

She laughs, "No! I don't play sports," she dribbles once more. "I hate gym class. But Marjorie and I made a bet."

Nick claps loudly, yelping loudly. "WE'RE PLAYING BASKETBALL, BABY!"

And with that, we both jump up for a shot, both our balls going into the hoop. They roll back down fast, but Skye is quicker with her hands, grabbing the ball faster. She gets a shot up before I do and manages to bounce it in.

My instinct comes in, shooting my next shot in perfectly. I grab the ball again and shoot again, getting another one to go in. I'm up to two against Skye; if I stay consistent, she won't be able to catch up.

"C'MON, SKYE!" Quinn cheers, humming along to the song playing through the worker's speakers.

Skye bites her lip, shooting two shots up, with only one of them falling while another one of my shots falls again.

"Skye, I'm running away with it," I pant, setting my feet.

She doesn't reply, only draining two shots to bring the deficit back up to one. Shit.

"What's happening here?" Lance had finally returned.

"Where the hell were you?" Miguel asks behind me.

"You know how far we parked? Like, at the frisbee golf course," Julianna chimes in. "And that stuffie was slowing us down."

Skye shushes them; by now, she'd caught up, and we're both tied up again. The timer is going down steadily, with 30 seconds left.

I need to get into a better rhythm and need to drain at least 5 shots in a row to take the lead impossible to come back from. But I'm against Skye; her luck always comes in during these situations.

She hoists up two shots, both falling through swiftly. It's down to the wire, ten seconds left, still tied.

"10."

"9."

"8."

"7."

"6."

"5."

None of our shots are going in; this might end up a draw.

"4."

"3."

"2."

"1."

 _Swish!_ My shot falls through, and I fall to my knees, hands pumped into the air.

Our friends groan and cheer, picking me up from the floor.

"Damn, Marjorie," Skye helps me up as well. "Took you a while to beat someone that doesn't play ball."

I laugh loudly, hugging her tightly. "I need to get in shape; I actually wanna make team again next year."

"Really?" John's voice cracks, chuckling. "I think you can get in, I think."

"What do you mean 'you think?'" I approach him, taking a sip from my water bottle.

He shrugs, "I think, that's what I mean," he quips. "Alright, so are we all going on rides? I ain't paying for this again next year if we don't use it to its fullest potential."

Nick huffs, "Of course! We gotta go on the rides that are worth it."

As they discuss, I point to a big inflatable hammer for my prize. The worker gives it to me, and I bonk John on the head, laughing.

"C'mon! Lead the way!"

"What--"

I bonk him again, "Go! Pick the first ride!"

"Let Skye pick! It's her first--"

I bonk his hip this time, "We all wanna ride the same rides, right?"

Quinn murmurs quietly, "I think I might have to sit out some rides."

Skye groans, "Why?"

Christie also hisses softly, "Yeah, I think I might need some convincing."

Skye sighs heavily, "It's my first time here! Please, it'll be a one-time thing."

Christie and Quinn exchange a nervous glance...

_..._

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Quinn shrieks, her eyes closed and hands tightly gripped around the safety restraint, the Mega Drop plummeting down the 90-foot drop.

The ride comes to a halt, Quinn's hair an utter mess shielding her face. The restraints lift, and Quinn remains seated, breathing heavily.

Skye tilts her head, "Is she okay?"

"I think she's dead," John quips, approaching her hesitantly. "Hey, you good?"

Quinn nods nonchalantly, moving her hair away from her face. "That wasn't so bad, actually," she says, springing up from her seat. "What's next?"

Christie puffs, leaning forward against Miguel. "Haunted House ride? There's no g-force or anything."

"Yeah, but you might get a heart attack," Skye smirks. "One of you. Not me."

She looks over near the Bobsled ride, pointing over to the ride next to it. "There. There's the Haunted House."

We gather our prizes at the metal gates, all of us getting in line for the ride. The carts for the Haunted House ride only allow four per cart, so we make groups before we go on.

Me, Skye, Quinn and Thu Thu are going on last, while Lance, Julianna, Tagu and John are going on first. Nick, Miguel and Christie are going on second.

The groups go on consecutively, the third cart from inside the ride still flowing through, so we'll have to wait a bit longer.

"I don't know if the people screaming inside are people or the props," Quinn notes, quivering. "But this is a good break from the rides we had to go on because the little miss over here was leading the way."

"Hey, John is too indecisive," Skye stretches. "Besides, you kept on babbling about how you wouldn't go on the next rides, but look at you now! You went on em' and survived!"

Quinn snickers, covering her mouth. "Barely survived," She says. "But, yeah, the rides were fun."

"Which one did you like the most?" Thu Thu bumps Quinn's shoulder.

The ride operator escorts us four to a cart, me sitting next to Skye and Thu Thu and Quinn sitting beside each other.

Quinn thinks for a moment, the cart slowly traversing forward. "I liked the Blitzer a lot, and the Fireball," She scratches her neck. "They were my first rollercoasters, so, yeah. I'm glad you were right beside me the entire time."

They lean closer against each other, but I couldn't see anymore once our cart pushed through the curtains of the ride.

It's dark inside, but something lights in front of us. It's a prop of a man in the electric chair, the dummy wildly banging and jumping in the chair while a sound effect deafens me. The ride goes black.

The ride was okay; the jumpscares weren't even that good. They were all props. There was no theme for the haunted house, just random horror movie references, skeletons and monsters, all in cages.

The others wait us out, waiting at the exit, which is also in front of the ride. They wave jokingly at us.

"You got a list of what we rode today?" I ask Skye.

She rubs her chin, "I think we went on the Vertigo before everything else, then the Blitzer, The Fireball, the Zipper, and the Mega Drop."

"You know that leaves like two more rides," I respond, unbuckling my seatbelt.

She nods excitedly, "Yup," she glances at the Mach 3. "That sweet, sweet beauty."

Quinn coughs in disbelief, "THAT?"

"Yeah!" Skye quacks sarcastically.

Thu Thu puts an arm around Quinn, "I'll sit next to you again."

We gather back with the others, Quinn and Thu Thu arguing back and forth if they would be going onto the ride or not.

"Who's going on the Mach 3? You can only sit next to one other person, two seats on each side," Tagu gazes up at the ride, getting in line with John first.

"There's gonna be eight people on it at the same time, so if we time it right, most of us can go at once," Skye counts heads with her fingers. "There's only 11 of us, so it's either someone has to ride by themselves, or one of us goes twice. I'm all for going twice, so I'll be back here watching all of your stupid faces."

Julianna rolls her eyes, giggling. "Okay, so I'm going with Lance," she latches onto her boyfriend's arm, who looks scared shitless, paler than I've ever seen him.

"I'm not okay with this," he mutters, moving up in line. "But we're already here, and we got the passes."

"Good!" Julianna holds the gate open, the ride operator escorting Lance to his seat. Julianna follows and buckles up right next to him.

The ride operator glances behind him then holds up two fingers.

Thu Thu looks at Quinn pleadingly, causing the girl to take a deep breath and going through the gate.

"Thanks!" Thu Thu skips through the gate, settling next to Quinn on the other side of the ride.

They buckle them up, and the ride swiftly swings up slowly to the top, Quinn's scream overlapping the ride's machinery.

The ride operators help four people out of their seats, letting four more replace their spots.

Christie and Miguel go on one side and on the other, John and Tagu.

Now there are only three of us.

The ride topples, a slow-burn before the eventual drop. Their screams pierce my ears, and as well as my soul, the wind slapping us hard when the ride whizzes through a rotation.

"I'll go with you next, Nick," Skye offers, moving past me. "I wanna go twice unless you wanna go with Marjorie?"

Nick glances between us, his face flushing a deep crimson red. "I'll go twice. You and I can go on first."

Skye raises her eyebrows in shock, "Okay, mister."

Nick smiles at me as he pasts me, the whooshing of the ride ceasing slowly.

The sun is nearly set, only the colours of twilight lighting the evening. The moon will soon be high in the night sky, which means we can finally drink somewhere quiet, after the Ferris wheel, of course.

The ride stops, Quinn's perplexed and appalled face causing snorts and giggles among the three of us.

Thu Thu holds Quinn's arm while they get escorted to the exit.

"I've never seen Quinn like that before," I laugh pointedly. "She's always so excited about things. I never pegged her for being the one who doesn't like thrill rides."

Nick and Skye move through the gates.

"She'll get used to it after," Nick says before taking their old seats. "Maybe if we go to another amusement park here in Canada, she'll be more open to this type of shit!"

I wave at Nick, leaning against the railing. "Have fun!"

Two random people get into Lance and Julianna's old spots, both sides buckling in tightly.

Skye flashes me an okay sign with her hand, her face somehow neutral, even when the ride plummets up.

"Who's riding twice?" Lance leans right next to me, staring up into the sky. "It was relaxing up there. Up until they dropped you."

"Yeah?" I cross my arms. "Nick is riding twice."

Lance raises an eyebrow. "I see," he points. "Oh, look, the other four are getting off."

Miguel, Christie, John and Tagu rush past the exit, John pumped up while the other three hang back, hanging onto each other.

"Jolo, you seem happy!" Julianna snickers.

He pushes his hair up, "It was fun! The view was nice, the drop was nice. The others kept screaming, so my ear kind of hurts."

Tagu smacks his head gently with my hammer. "You! You kept swinging the Goddamn chairs up there!"

John laughs out loud, blocking with his arms and holding onto his belly. "You guys are fucking pussies! The swinging makes it way more fun!"

"YEAH, FOR YOU!"

The couple bicker, Miguel and Christie meeting back up with Thu Thu and Quinn, who are sitting on a park bench watching the entire thing go on.

Quinn looks okay, just a bit dazed.

I go back into the fast pass line; luckily, no one had taken my spot while I went around to watch.

Nick quickly unbuckles his belt, running back around fast to get to me. He leans against the railings, catching his breath.

"Yeah, I'm glad I'm going on that twice," He fixes his hair. "I've never heard Skye scream like that!"

Skye glares at him, crossing her arms while she sets herself beside Lance.

"You kept swinging the fucking chair," She shakes her head. "Otherwise, it was fun, but you're a dick, pal."

Nick claps his hands, "Don't worry, Marjorie, I won't do the same to you," he reassures me, letting me take a spot. "I'll let you enjoy the view."

"Kiss-ass," Skye spits onto the floor, waving us off as the ride swings up.

My heart drops when I notice how high we are, our feet dangling off the into empty air. I briefly turn over to Nick, and when I look back forward, we chose the right side to sit on.

The city's skyline is seen just out of view, the lights coming on prematurely. This ride is as high as the Ferris wheel, and I can see the bridge of Circle drive from here.

"We shoulda taken the other side," Nick says, closing his eyes relaxing. "We coulda seen more of the park that way. And the stadium."

I open my mouth to respond, but the ride begins to fall backwards, our screams rising up out our throats.

It's the most exhilarating fall I've ever experienced, the wind from behind me cooling me off, and the g-force dispersing from my stomach to other parts in my body. I hold onto the handle tightly, my eyes open the entire time to see our legs flip over from above us.

The ride slows at the top, but this time it falls forward, not even giving us a window of opportunity to catch our breaths.

Eventually, after all the screaming, all the fun, the ride stops. I stand up from the seat, my feet wobbly. Nick catches me, helping me off the stairs.

His arm wraps around my waist, and he smiles when I look his way.

"Thanks," I nod at him, and he, unfortunately, lets go of me.

I double back to check on Quinn and Skye, who surround Thu Thu, talking to one another.

"How are you?" I take a step next to Quinn.

She sighs, "I feel good! It was honestly, really fun! Just got a bit iffy after."

Skye laughs, "You looked paler than Lance."

She shushes the other redhead, "Oh, save it, Skye."

The fast pass line for the Ferris wheel is longer than we expected, but it's around that time of the night where people gather to see the view from up high.

All of us can fit into one of these gondolas; they're bigger than what most people think it is from this height down at least.

I kneel down, putting my bag on the ground, "Girls, cover me."

They know what I'm doing instantly, and I smuggle a can each for our friends, giving it to them one-by-one up the line, concealed by the shadows the light casts on us.

I zip my bag up, putting the can of Smirnoff ice into my sweater's pocket. It's only temporary wear, only to hide the can.

Skye had the same idea, taking one of Andre's sweaters out and wearing it. But unlike me, she'd be wearing that from now till the end of the night.

We slip through with ease, the ride operators only telling us to put our bags in the corner while we all load up.

Skye and I sit in a corner, Nick sitting just a few inches away from me. Other than that, the couples find their own corners and Quinn and Thu Thu find theirs.

The Ferris wheel swings up slowly, stopping at the side to let people at the bottom rotate out and come in.

Skye fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater. It's the green one Andre would wear occasionally, but she has such a connection to it because it's the first thing she saw him wearing.

"You miss him?"

The wheel rotates faster this time and leaves us a quarter of the was up. I can see the city lights on one side and the amusement park on the other.

Skye leans in close to me, her voice reduced to a whisper. "I had fun today, don't get me wrong," she starts, gulping. "I didn't wanna rant or spill anything today; it'd ruin all the fun."

I put a reluctant hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Skye, you wouldn't have ruined anything," I reassure her closely. "And right now is a good time, yes, but anytime woulda been fine. Y'know, while we walked in between rides."

She sighs, "I know, I just couldn't find the words."

I shake my head, dejected at seeing her sad look. "Do you wanna told me what Andre told me when one of my boyfriends went away?"

"Hm?"

"It doesn't matter how far someone is; they'll always be there with you," I glance upward at the night Skye through the sunroof of the cart.

Skye scoffs, "That's a bit a bit cliche."

"It is!" I agree with her completely. "But the thing is if you believe in that saying, other things like that, you'll feel a lot better."

"That's another cliche."

"Oh, my God, Skye," I roll my eyes, biting my lip.

She smirks, running a hand through her hair. "I'm joking, I understand."

I nod approvingly, the Ferris wheel now letting us bask at the top. I peer out the ledge, seeing the city in some of its beauty. On the other, the rides' lights twinkle brightly, and the stadium is lit up as well, so much so that I can see the people sitting up on the bleachers.

"Y'know Skye, Andre would say really weird things in between what he said, so it never sounded cliche," I tell her softly. "It would be his own thing after."

"Well, can you remember what he said so I can take it seriously?" Her eyes sparkle at the city lights, yawning. "Geez, what a long day."

I laugh, "If you think about it, it's Andre. How can you be serious with some of the shit he says?"

"Well, you still believe in what he says."

I lament, shaking my head, "Fuck."

"1-0 Skye," she high-fives herself, her hands sinking into the sleeves of the sweater. She slips out the drink from her pocket. "Almost forgot."

The others had been drinking once we reached the top, the ones not driving, of course. However, the desire for it had disappeared for me, remembering I had to drive, too.

"Let me think," I say. "He said, 'it doesn't matter if you're one foot away from someone, or one hundred feet away from them, they'll still be there if you think about it."

Skye sips loudly, scrunching her nose, "That didn't sound so stupid--"

"...Then he said something about not being straight because he had scoliosis."

"--Never-fucking-mind," Skye laughs, swigging back her drink more.

She doesn't say anything more, only contemplating, staring out the gondola. She finishes her drink quickly, the Ferris wheel coming back down, and all of us heading off straight for the exit.

We all agreed that after the Ferris wheel ended, we'd leave. The Ex was closing soon anyway, in about an hour.

I tiredly trudge through the pavement, then gravel, then hit the grass, walking with the others through thick silence.

John shotguns another drink, walking simultaneously while we march through the shadows of the trees, making sure no cops or security are in the area. John shakes his head, hissing loudly.

A pop from behind us prompts us to turn around.

Quinn falls down onto her back, her hair shining in the moonlight while watching the fireworks from the grass.

We all take a break from walking, sitting down on the ground and watching the fireworks. Even from the frisbee golf course, we can see the fireworks whistling up into the air, bursting into a mirage of colours.

The colours stay in my head for a long time, fondly remembering the day I went to the Ex with my friends as I drive home down the long, empty highway.


	50. My Future

_5:00 p.m.  
August 12, 2019_

Skye's POV

The sun is low today; one of the chilliest days of the summer is still pretty hot. I'm in the back of Marjorie's car, John in shotgun while she drives down a familiar road.

Our plan today is a simple plan. Walking in the field behind Andre's house and sitting on top of the gigantic hill.

"You got the chairs, right?" Marjorie peers over at John quickly.

He nods, "Yeah, and the firewood," he turns to look at me. "You got the hot dogs?"

"Yeah, in the cooler," I point behind me, gesturing at the trunk.

The others wanted to instead have a bonfire in Andre's backyard, but he texted our group chat saying he'd be super late since his family got stuck at a highway stoplight and wouldn't be back until much later.

Marjorie parks in front of their lawn, getting out promptly and circling around to the back. John and I hop out as well, grabbing the foldable chairs and cooler, respectively.

The cooler isn't one of the big ones we brought camping, just a medium-sized one that could fit some hotdogs and bamboo skewers. There are also condiments inside and a couple of drinks for John and me.

Marjorie hasn't been in the mood to drink lately, maybe because she's been driving us everywhere. Even on those off days where we hang out at someones' house, and M.J. doesn't drive, she refuses to.

All I'm thinking of is drinking. After my parents got home, they berated me for not cleaning the house well enough; even though I'd triple-checked every time I dusted the floors, wiped the counters, cleaned the rooms, it's never enough for them.

I was already fearful of how they might react if I half-assed most of the cleaning. Even when I do everything to its absolute potential, they find something else to blame on me, stupid reasons at that. The yelling gets so loud, sometimes the ringing in my ears comes back. It almost reduced me to tears.

I'd been quiet all day, only saying a couple of words when the two tried to give me a conversation. The only people I've talked to about my parents are Andre, Marjorie and Thu Thu.

M.J. knows not to mention anything to the others unless I need to speak up about it. My friends have pretty much heard everything at this point.

"Heavy?" Marjorie snickers at John, who's now struggling to lift the cooler.

He shakes his head, "Hey, we're walking a long way; it's gonna get heavier."

"I can get it once we reach the roadblocks," I offer, peering up at the evening sun.

"Nah, it's okay, Skye."

Two public entrances lead to the field; one is barred off by the concrete roadblocks, west of the street, and one that's a little farther, that you can drive through. Marjorie didn't want to get her car messy and opted to just park near Andre's house instead of driving through the dirt.

We slip through the barricades, walking through thick grass and weeds before our feet hit a dirt road. It branches out onto a straight road, which leads toward an electric power plant and some man-made ponds. The other branch leads us up a massive hill, the mound a little steep but bearable to climb up.

It's much more of a dirt hill, with some weeds growing on the sides and on top. But the main road has little to no vegetation in it; some of the tire marks engraved on it look weeks old.

I pull a chair out of its bag, unfolding it and dropping it down near the steep ledge, dust splashing into the air around my feet.

"Skye, let's go over here instead," Marjorie points to the other side of the dirt path. "Just in case any cars pass by for whatever reason."

I pick up my chair and cross the road, sitting right next to Marjorie.

John gathers up some stones, making a circle before making a tipi with the firewood and sticks we brought along.

"You got a lighter?" John asks us both.

Marjorie shakes her head, but I reach into my pocket and toss him my purple coloured lighter.

"Arsonist vibes," He snickers, crumpling up some newspaper and putting it under the tipi.

I actually chuckle at his remark, "I remember when Lance called me that."

"Feels like yesterday?" John inquires, putting the lighter back in my hand.

I think for a moment, wetting my lips. "Something like that, yeah," I say. "It's just surprising it's only been a month. I feel like I've known you guys all my life."

Marjorie unpacks the bamboo skewers. "Well, your life didn't start till about July," she quips, poking and tending the fire. "Is there a reason you feel that way?"

"My home life," I reply bluntly. "Living with my family is like the same day repeating over and over again, with some other things life has to offer in between like school or getting kicked out. After I met you guys, it's like something changed."

John sits down near another ledge, the one closest to the uphill slope of the hill. "The ground is a bit uneven, don't you think?" He slides up a bit closer to us. "You know what changed?"

"Hm?"

"Life changes all the time when you have friends to spend it with," John holds up his phone, playing obnoxious meditation music. "Always find the right friends, true friends, that don't peer pressure you, don't make fun of you, and overall, they should respect you."

"I get that; I was just trying to--"

"My name is John," he interrupts, his voice low. "And thank you for coming to my Ted-talk."

I roll my eyes, "Very funny."

The sun seems brighter up here, though we're not that far up anyway. Its rays aren't unbearable to deal with; in fact, the day hasn't been that hot to begin with. August always brings chillier summer days, but the weather still gets up there in the heat.

"There's Tagu and Thu Thu," Marjorie crosses her legs, putting on a pair of shades.

John's head turns quickly, waving to the two giddily.

"Someone's excited," I tease, fiddling with a bamboo skewer.

"Yeah, I haven't seen Tagu for like a couple days," John argues, glancing to look at me.

I raise my eyebrows briefly. "Mhm, wow, that's a long time."

He realizes his word choice wasn't the best and apologizes before glancing at the two girls walking up the hill, chairs strapped on their backs.

"Where's Rory? Doesn't she live here, too?"

Marjorie shrugs, "She's busy doing errands, but I'm sure she'll come around eventually."

"What about the others?" I squint into the sky. "Sun's getting low."

"Lance and Julianna have to pick up Quinn, Miguel and Christie," John notifies us. "Nick says he'll just come here by himself."

Thu Thu and Tagu set themselves up around the fire.

They both let out a relaxed groan, shielding their eyes from the sun.

"Why'd you make the fire so early?" Tagu asks, looking at John.

"Nick said he'll bring more firewood," he replies. "And also, I like making fires; it's fun."

There's complete silence after. Just the crackling of the fire and some early cricket noises singing to us in the quietness.

It's giving me flashbacks of our previous bonfires, especially the first one we had. Hopefully, it doesn't end up the same way, with me hitting my head.

"Camping vibes," John chimes, ripping open the pack of hot dogs. "Anyone else?"

I nod, pulling out a hot dog and scoring it with the tip of the bamboo skewer before putting it through. I hold it over the fire, rotating it occasionally.

"There's some ketchup and stuff in the cooler if you want," I blow on the hot dog, taking a tiny bite.

John pulls out a tiny bottle of ketchup, squirting some onto his food and eating it.

Tagu and Thu Thu are still roasting theirs, and Marjorie fell asleep in her chair, her head drooping down peacefully while we eat.

The red sun lowers itself, and I get up to look at the horizon from both directions. From where we're sitting, I can see the potash mines, which in reality is far away from we are; it's just that big. From the other side, Saskatoon Inn is in view, and so is the airport's observation tower and the hotels near that area.

"Hey, everyone!" Quinn whistles, her hands at her hips. "Oh, my bad. Is Marjorie sleeping?"

I glance to nod at her before looking back over at the scenery. From up here, I see the ponds Andre told us about, and also two people running around with their dog in the large open field.

Quinn sets up her chair next to mine and Thu Thu's, while Lance, Julianna, Miguel, and Christie sit near John and Tagu, all four getting a hot dog skewer.

"Are we sleeping over?" Lance opens up the cooler he brought, and cracks open a bottle of beer.

"Where?"

He points to Andre's house in the distance, "His basement has some space."

As much as I wanted to, I have to be home at a certain time or else I'd anger my parents again. The only reason I'm out right now is that my parents are out, and my brother is probably out ruining a girl's life.

"That's if his family lets us," John sighs, popping a can. "They need some time to rest after a long trip, but who knows."

I raise a hand, "Toss me one of those, Jolo."

He throws one at me, and I catch it, opening it up and taking a long sip.

"Woah there, slow down," Quinn giggles, chewing on her hot dog. "Something on your mind, sis?"

I shake my head, sitting back down on my chair. "How was your day, Quinn?"

She thinks for a moment, her smile unwavering as she hums. "Well, it was just like any other day, which is good days!" Her voice hiccups. "I woke up and just decided to do somethings I like instead of staying cooped up all day. Good thing we hung out today, or else I woulda went out on my own."

"Where would you have gone?" I ask her, kind of curious.

She shrugs, "It woulda been up to the wind to decide where I coulda went."

So carefree, something I wish I could feel from time to time. There's always a worry or concern in the back of my mind, even when my family isn't around. It's nagging me constantly, to a point where I can't have fun at times.

"If Andre lets us sleepover, I'll drink a little bit," Julianna stretches, throwing her skewer into the fire. "Peaceful day today, for me at least."

I bite my lip, finishing my can already and putting it next to the cooler. "Gimme a beer, Lance."

Lance passes me one, and I twist it open effortlessly, chugging it fast and hard.

"Are you okay?" Julianna leans forward, concern in her eyes.

I hold up a finger, sighing heavily and wiping my mouth. "No," I admit bluntly. "It's just the usual shit that happens to me, with my family."

"Oh, yeah, they came home," She bites her lip. "They already giving you a hard time?"

"Mhm," I swig back my bottle. I point toward one of the houses, to someone running across the tall grass. "Must be Rory."

We conversate about something stupid, which admittedly got a couple of laughs out of me, but it might be the drinks talking for me.

Rory gets up to the hill, panting, sitting down next to me.

She mentions something about school, about wanting to go back so bad because of the theatre. John jokes around with her a bit, calling her names like theatre kid and other things, but Rory isn't offended by it.

"You and your friends still end up watching the theatre productions every year, though! You can't talk," She argues, taking a tiny sip from her can.

John scoffs. "Yeah, not for you, though," he says, almost coldly. "Ajay hangs out with the boys; sometimes, it's why we go."

Rory rolls her eyes, "He's mentioned before he doesn't like some of you guys."

"I ain't one of the ones he's talking about, alright?" John sighs. "And c'mon, Ajay likes me, Dale, Michael, like the usual ones that stay around. And Josh."

"Which, Josh?" Marjorie's groggy voice murmurs.

"Athletic, smart Josh! Peji usually just comes by the table in the mornings and lunch, and Chavez is always with us," John continues arguing.

Rory laughs out loud this time, "So he only likes one of the Josh's?"

Jolo stutters, shaking his head and clicking his tongue. "Don't put words in my mouth! I meant all three!"

"Uh-huh."

Quinn gasps, "Josh Chavez still lives in Saskatoon?"

John nods, "Yeah, do you know him from your elem days?"

She nods excitedly, "Oh, fuck, you shoulda told him to come! I haven't seen him since eighth grade."

He pulls out his phone, tapping rapidly on its keyboard.

Now that they've mentioned school, are these 'boys' the same ones that Andre wanted to stay far away from, some of them at least. How are they going to feel when they find out he's dating me? A girl two years younger than him.

I want to ask about it, but I don't want to ruin the mood. These two are arguing for the fun of it.

It's discomforting to know that more people will find a reason to judge me, just because of something that seems so small. It makes me feel tiny and powerless again. Reminds me so much of my home life; I can't do any of the things I like or be who I want to be without people telling me otherwise.

I finish the bottle and grab another can.

Rory huffs, putting hers into the seat's cup holder. "How about you, Skye? How do you feel about coming to Beth?"

I think about my answer for a second, "Kinda nervous, but it's just school. The only difference here is I have worthwhile friends."

Rory doesn't know about my situation, though she might begin to suspect something is happening to me as the year goes on.

"It's not as bad as you've heard it out to be," She sounds like a salesman pitching a product to me. "And don't worry about the things I said to John; some of those guys are actually pretty nice. Some just make it tainted."

"Yeah, I understand," I half-lie, sipping quickly.

It's been an hour since we arrived; the sun is still low in the sky, and the fire very much still alive. I breathe the air again, thick with the smoke.

I burp, excusing myself before taking a break from drinking. I feel lightheaded, but not to a point where I'd hurt myself badly again.

I close my eyes, rubbing my forehead roughly, still thinking about the people they talked about earlier. If I ever have to interact with them, I might explode from anger and frustration, but also be so scared to even come close. I can't generalize the entirety of the group. Still, I think I'll stay safer sticking with the Frenchies I already know.

"What the hell is happening here?"

That voice jitters me awake from a daydream, seeing the slight shape of his head walking up the hill.

"You're home!" Quinn jolts up from her seat, and so does Marjorie. "And Nick is here!"

Nick waves, passing us to set up his chair near the fire. "Good to see you, too."

The two girls hug him closely, almost pushing him down the hill. "Take it easy, Quinn," Andre laughs, shoving her off gently. "You're a bit friendly today, Marjorie. Did someone hit your head?"

She shakes her head, "Nope, just tired."

Marjorie lets go and returns to her chair. The others stay silent, looking between Andre and me awkwardly, waiting for something to happen.

"Skye-with-an-e," he greets me, his usual smile shining at me. "You managed without me, how surprising."

I scoff, "That's one way to greet someone you missed."

I stand up, flinging myself onto him, embracing him tightly. I hold him so close, to keep him here just in case he'd have to leave again.

"I missed you, too," He tightly grips at my waist, pulling back to kiss my forehead. "How's home?"

I shrug, peering down at the ground, "Still shit."

"At least you got us," Andre laughs, turning to John. "Also, Chabes-Boy is behind me. Mad at you for not telling him you were coming up here?"

John stands up, "Josh is here?" He stands next to Andre, laughing at the other boy coming up the hill. "Hello, Joshua!"

"That's all you have to say? After you don't invite me? AGAIN?" Joshua shakes his head, yelling sarcastically. "I can't believe you, John!"

John laughs, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I didn't know you wanted to come! Don't do that shit, bro."

Joshua sighs heavily, looking over at the others. "Hi, everyone," he squints when he notices Quinn, tilting his head. "What the fuck? Quinn, you're here?"

Quinn screams, "Oh my, God! You actually came! I thought John had told you to come."

Joshua pockets his hands into his sweater, "Yeah, he did, just messing with him a bit."

"How are you?" Quinn gets up, approaching him.

He shrugs, "Shit, I feel like shit."

I smirk at his remark. He sounds like me, but less dry, more open with his friends.

"You've seen, Skye, right?" Andre nudges at Joshua.

He nods, "Yeah, but I've never met her yet."

I wave at him, still clinging to Andre.

"You can have a chair, Josh," Marjorie points to one on the floor.

He shakes his head, "No, it's fine. But I do want a hot dog."

Andre's mentioned Joshua around me before, and I know he's good news, a good friend for him to have.

Joshua roasts a hot dog over the fire, squatting down and rotating the skewer.

Andre does the same next to him, talking to him quietly and laughing to themselves. I sit back down, tapping Andre with his foot occasionally. He grins at me, giving me that look.

I roll my eyes, biting my lip to hold in my smile.

"John, do you wanna come to my house on the 30th?" Joshua asks, biting into his hot dog.

He shrugs, "I don't know, what's there?"

"Throwing a party before school starts," Joshua replies, cracking his stick in half and throwing it in the fire. "My parents are away that entire day and won't be back until the 31st. Just as long as some of our friends come back the next day before they come back to clean."

John nods, looking over at Andre and Marjorie. "I'll go," he says.

Andre yawns, "I don't know, Joshua."

"C'mon, you'll be fine! You can bring Skye if you want," he offers, nodding at me.

I sigh dejectedly, gulping. "Sorry, I'm busy that day and need to attend a dinner."

Andre puts a hand on my knee in understanding. "Fine, but only if Quinn goes."

"Of course! I haven't been to Josh's house for a while!" Quinn giddily claps, smiling brightly. "Does anyone else have to go?"

Mostly everyone declines the offer, but Miguel agrees to go since Andre and John are going.

Joshua nods approvingly, "Okay, thanks for telling me. I have a feeling some people might show up uninvited."

Andre snickers, "You're funny if you think that won't happen again."

He shrugs, "What can you do about it? I'm probably gonna hide the fragile shit in my house before Charles breaks something again."

Andre leans his head onto my knee, reaching up to hold my hand. He pulls it closer to his mouth and kisses it longingly, his warm breath coating the surface of my palm.

I stare up into the setting sun, hopeful for the year that's about to come.

However, an irrational fear had been stabbing at my heart ever since I enrolled in my new school. That next year might end up like my freshmen year, where everyone turns their back on me, leaving me to fend for myself.


	51. Dark Times

_4:00 p.m.  
August 30, 2019_

John's POV

Andre and I move through a catwalk to arrive at Joshua's crescent. I'd been dropped off at his house and we decided to walk there instead, both of us wanting to drink. The problem is, walking home might turn dangerous, but Andre lives so close that it shouldn't be a hassle.

"You think Josh would let us sleepover?" Andre asks me, crossing the road. 

I shrug, picking up the pace on my walking while we march down the sidewalk. "I don't know, sometimes he gets riled up with the number of people in his house," I say, turning a corner. It's maybe a five-minute walk from here now. "How was your trip? What'd you guys even do?"

Andre grunts, "We went to the Space Needle and Aviation Museum in Seattle and did a lot of stuff in Kelowna and B.C. I posted vlogs on them if you wanna just skim through them."

"Yeah, no, I ain't watching your 30-40 minute videos," I chuckle.

"I said skim through them, not watch it all."

We get close to Joshua's house, already seeing people going toward his backyard from his driveway.

From the sidewalk, people already crowd the backyard, talking, sitting and getting drinks from a cooler filled with ice. 

"Jeez, I don't even recognize these people," I note, hesitantly stepping forward.

Andre sighs, "When there's a party, it usually spreads fast. He should clarify next time if it's just a hangout with friends."

"I'm pretty sure he said party when he first invited us," I reply, trudging past the people in the yard, slipping my hand into the cooler to grab some cans. "Want one?"

Andre takes it without question, cracking it open and sipping fast.

There are people on the deck, some already drunk enough to make out on the floor. Other than that, there's a beer pong game going on in the garage, and underneath the pine tree in the backyard, people mingle, sitting down and relaxing in the grass.

I recognize some people from school, but other than that, no one else is recognizable. 

"Hey, I see a few friends," Andre breaks away from me once we get through the sliding glass door, people crowded in the kitchen and living room. "I'll see you where?"

"Basement, probably," I have to yell this time. "Gonna find Josh!"

He nods, walking behind the kitchen counter and greeting his friends.

I notice Josh had to board off his fish tank, an entire barricade enclosing the little ledge where it is behind the railings of the stairs. People in the living room are playing with the PS4, and some hanging around by the piano. Otherwise, the couches are filled, and even the stairs leading to the basements are filled.

"Have you seen the host?" I ask a random.

They shake their head, prompting me to just march through into the narrow stairwell. It's unbearably humid in the basement, the living room there filled with people dancing to music blasting from the T.V. and its speakers. 

The bar is filled along with the countertop with various drinks and shot glasses. I wonder if people were actually willing to get this drunk during the early evening but parties on the Westside are rare, so it's a welcome treat for people. I try barging into Josh's room but it's locked, for good reason too.

"John!" I hear his voice right behind me. "You're here! I just got your text. Where's Andre?"

I point up the stairs, "He's talking to some people!"

Quinn and Miguel come out from the corridor Josh had come from in his basement.

"Jolo!" Quinn raises her drink, sipping it up and swaying her hips to the beat. "Thank God you're here, these two boys are no fun and won't dance!"

I laugh, "You think I dance?"

She shakes her head, swinging past me and sliding into the crowd.

"And there she goes," Miguel sips back his drink. "I'm gonna go find, Andre, guys. See you around."

Josh walks me through the crowd until we reach behind the bar. He sighs, sitting down onto the stool.

"Man, it's gonna be fucking shit to clean this up," he runs a hand through his hair, pouring himself a shot. "You want one?"

I wave him off, "No, it's fine. Also, I'm not helping you clean."

He nearly spits out the drink, "Wha-- what?"

"I'm joking," I laugh, opening up another can. "But I might leave early. And never come back."

"John! You agreed to help me clean up after!" 

I look through the crowd, seeing Quinn giving people her usual flirtatious looks while she dances. Andre and I move through a catwalk to arrive at Joshua's crescent. I'd been dropped off at his house, and we decided to walk there instead, both of us wanting to drink. The problem is, walking home might turn dangerous, but Andre lives so close that it shouldn't be a hassle.

"You think Josh would let us sleepover?" Andre asks me, crossing the road.

I shrug, picking up the pace on my walking while we march down the sidewalk. "I don't know, sometimes he gets riled up with the number of people in his house," I say, turning a corner. It's maybe a five-minute walk from here now. "How was your trip? What'd you guys even do?"

Andre grunts, "We went to the Space Needle and Aviation Museum in Seattle and did a lot of stuff in Kelowna and B.C. I posted vlogs on them if you wanna just skim through them."

"Yeah, no, I ain't watching your 30-40 minute videos," I chuckle.

"I said skim through them, not watch it all."

We get close to Joshua's house, already seeing people going toward his backyard from his driveway.

People already crowd the backyard from the sidewalk, talking, sitting, and getting drinks from a cooler filled with ice.

"Jeez, I don't even recognize these people," I note, hesitantly stepping forward.

Andre sighs, "When there's a party, it usually spreads fast. He should clarify next time if it's just a hangout with friends."

"I'm pretty sure he said party when he first invited us," I reply, trudging past the people in the yard, slipping my hand into the cooler to grab some cans. "Want one?"

Andre takes it without question, cracking it open and sipping fast.

There are people on the deck, some already drunk enough to make out on the floor. Other than that, there's a beer pong game going on in the garage, and underneath the pine tree in the backyard, people mingle, sitting down and relaxing in the grass.

I recognize some people from school, but other than that, no one else is recognizable.

"Hey, I see a few friends," Andre breaks away from me once we get through the sliding glass door, people crowded in the kitchen and living room. "I'll see you where?"

"Basement, probably," I have to yell this time. "Gonna find Josh!"

He nods, walking behind the kitchen counter and greeting his friends.

I notice Josh had to board off his fish tank, an entire barricade enclosing the little ledge behind the stairs' railings. People in the living room are playing with the PS4, and some hanging around by the piano. Otherwise, the couches are filled, and even the stairs leading to the basements are filled.

"Have you seen the host?" I ask a random.

They shake their head, prompting me to just march through into the narrow stairwell. It's unbearably humid in the basement. The living room here is filled with people dancing to music blasting from the T.V. and its speakers.

The bar is filled along with the countertop with various drinks and shot glasses. I wonder if people were actually willing to get this drunk during the early evening. Still, parties on the Westside are rare, so it's a welcome treat for people. I try barging into Josh's room, but it's locked, for good reason too.

"John!" I hear his voice right behind me. "You're here! I just got your text. Where's Andre?"

I point up the stairs, "He's talking to some people!"

Quinn and Miguel come out from the corridor Josh had come from in his basement.

"Jolo!" Quinn raises her drink, sipping it up and swaying her hips to the beat. "Thank God you're here; these two boys are no fun and won't dance!"

I laugh, "You think I dance?"

She shakes her head, swinging past me and sliding into the crowd.

"And there she goes," Miguel sips back his drink. "I'm gonna go find, Andre, guys. See you around."

Josh walks me through the crowd until we reach behind the bar. He sighs, sitting down onto the stool.

"Man, it's gonna be fucking shit to clean this up," he runs a hand through his hair, pouring himself a shot. "You want one?"

I wave him off, "No, it's fine. Also, I'm not helping you clean."

He nearly spits out the drink, "Wha-- what?"

"I'm joking," I laugh, opening up another can. "But I might leave early. And never come back."

"John! You agreed to help me clean up after!"

I look through the crowd, seeing Quinn giving people her usual flirtatious looks while she dances.

"Yeah, yeah, I will, Andre will, too," I reassure him, lifting up the gate of the bar. "See you around; if you don't find me, I probably left."

Josh glares at me, groaning heavily, "You better stay, John."

I smirk, turning around and colliding with another person, my drink spilling all over the floor and my shirt.

"Hey, man, watch where-- oh shit, my bad, my bad. Didn't realize you spilt your drink," A blonde boy, wearing a green bomber, holds me in place. He furrows his brows, looking behind him. He clicks his tongue. "Let's go to the washroom, less crowded. Promise I ain't gay."

That remark actually makes me chuckle, making me forget his rude introduction when I'd bumped into him.

I follow him into the washroom, and he closes the door loudly. He scavenges around the bathroom, aimlessly, trying to find something to clean my clothes up with.

"Uh, turn the corner, and there's a towel stand near the toilet," I let him know, washing the sticky drink from my hands. I flick my fingers into the sink, then fan my shirt repeatedly until the guy finds something to dry it with.

He appears, tossing me a yellow coloured towel, and I dab it hard onto my shirt, leaning onto the counters.

The lights around the mirror illuminate, to my surprise. Joshua's dad probably fixed this a few days or even weeks ago. Hopefully, no one breaks these lights again when they come inside here.

There's a deafening silence for a while, both of us just standing around, glancing at each other a few times.

"To be honest, I feel really bad for not recognizing you," I buzz out awkwardly. "Do you go to Beth? I swear I've never seen you around."

He snickers smugly, crossing his arms and leaning on the wall across from me. "Name's Michael, Harrison," he wipes his nose.

"John, Esguerra."

He stands silently for a moment.

"Who did you come here with?"

Michael smirks, "No one," he says. "I was passing by this neighbourhood after I helped my family unload into our new house. Saw a bunch of cars going in the same direction and found this here party."

"So you just follow cars?"

"Not much, usually from time to time."

This guy is _quippier_ than me. It's not sitting that well in my gut, but he seems nice now.

I let go of the towel briefly, seeing that the wet patches haven't stained my shirt. "So you're not from here then?"

"Yeah, like I said, I'd just moved around here," Michael huffs, flicking something off his shoulder. "Moving to a new school next week, too."

I assume he's going to one of the Westside schools, either Beth or Tommy, which is the nearest from here. "Where'd you used to go?" I ask, dumping my drink down the sink.

"Centennial," He scoffs. "I have to attend Bethlehem starting next week. Yeah, it ain't pretty for me."

"I go there."

"You do?"

"Yeah, a lot of people here go there or to Tommy."

"Nice, God bless your poor soul. Michael jeers, shaking his head. "Much rather would go to Beth, though, not gonna lie. At least I'll see you around in the halls."

I roll my eyes. Guy seems kind of obnoxious, and his cocky attitude is picky at my nerves.

"Sorry for, y'know, spilling a perfectly good can of Palm Bay on you, even though you bumped into me."

I squint at him, "Why would you apologize then?"

He stares at me blankly. "Yeah, anyway, since you go to Beth, what about a tour on the first day?"

I would ask him why Beth has such a bad taste in his mouth, but thinking about it deeper, many people do not like our school.

"I have another friend who can show you around," I murmur coldly. "He's better at that stuff more than me."

Michael laughs in disbelief, "Listen, you don't even have to talk to me after. Just need a tour to know where to find the classes."

"Suit yourself; I'm probably gonna be late the first day."

"Honestly, same," I giggle with him. "But, my friend is here right now; I can just let him know--"

Michael stops me with a raised hand. "Look, I don't like talking to people; you're lucky I even asked you."

Lucky? _Lucky?_ The only reason I'm talking to him is that he spilt the drink on me.

Un-fucking-believable.

"Suit yourself, man," I shake my head, starting toward the door. "You wanna go, or are you gonna stay in the washroom?"

"What do you think?"

He follows closely behind me, opening the door wide into the crowd of people again. There'd been a lineup forming in the washroom, so we move away quickly into the central part of the basement.

I scan around, studying the faces to see if I can spot Quinn, Andre, Joshua, or Miguel in the crowd downstairs, but I can't seem to see anyone. Funnily enough, Michael is still behind me, but on his phone this time, caring less and less about me the longer he stays on it.

"What the fuck are you gonna do?"

That voice. It rattles in my head, angering me instantly.

The music dies down, and fewer and fewer people talk by the second. Michael looks up from his phone, looking bitterly at the same person I'm looking at.

Brian-fucking-Crandall, found out about this party.

"Get off me, Brian, I didn't do anything to you," Andre hisses coldly, setting the back of his hand on the side of Brian's shoulder, shrugging him off. "Who's the fuck that decided to let you inside here anyway?"

Oh, God, Andre's drunk. Drunk and in a room with the person he dislikes the most.

Brian raises a fist, but Andre just laughs, even bending down to catch his breath. "Go on, hit me," he gets in his face. "I could care less about what happens to me. If you hit me, you'll have to deal with the consequences after."

The redhead laughs in disbelief, puffing his chest and lowering his fist. "Consequences? No," he scoffs. "You think I'd ever get in trouble for hitting a fucked kid like you?"

Andre shoves him harder than I expected; even Brian is surprised. "Call me names all you want; we all know what you are!" He glances around wildly at the crowd. "You're a fucking Meathead that sits on the bench, and you get benched for _attitude_ reasons. You're almost an adult, and you still need to be treated like a damn child? Jesus Christ, dude."

I start walking towards them fast, and Michael does the same.

We give each other a look, both agreeing on who we'd have to pull away once we get into the middle of it.

Brian charges at Andre, and he just stands his ground, scowling at him.

Before anything wrong happens, Michael gets there in time, holding Brian back and whispering something in his ear quickly, nearly bringing him down to the ground.

I push Andre down onto the couch. He begins struggling, glaring at me for interfering.

"What the fuck are you thinking?" I yell at him.

He pushes me away, getting up and flattening his shirt.

"Andre!"

He puffs sharply, moving through the wave of people and disappearing.

I turn back and see Brian being subdued by Michael, who's surprisingly not struggling to fight back.

Michael nearly pounds him into the wall if it weren't for Brian pulling away. He glances around for a moment, pale in the face seeing the other people in the room staring at him.

He scoffs, nodding and sucking in his lips, sauntering away to God knows where.

"We gotta follow them; they might see each other outside," I put a hand on Michael's back, and he nods.

We nearly topple people down in the crowd, racing to get upstairs.

"Outside," he says. "Go through the sliding doors; I got the front."

I break off from him once I turn the corner toward the dining table while he shifts himself into the living room.

I slide the door out fast, seeing different people, but no Andre, and no Brian. I dart off the porch, jumping off the stairs and rushing through the driveway to see Michael again on the lawn.

He has his hands on his hips, panting. "They ain't in the living room, and I know damn well they didn't go into a room together," Michael sits down onto the doorstep. "Unless they're into that, I don't know. Haven't talked to Brian Crandall in years."

I sit down next to him, "You know, Brian?"

"Yeah, when he wasn't an asshole," Michael snickers. leaning back, basking in the evening sun. "Believe me when I say, that kid used to be shy as hell. All the popularity he got from sports and shit got to his damn head. His parents didn't help much either with his attitude."

I wipe my forehead and take off my glasses. "Yeah, heard that he got benched last year because he got into a fight with one of his teammates at Holy Cross," I reply. "You go to Cross, too? How do you know him?"

"Went to Cross in the ninth and half of tenth grade," he clarifies. "That's how I know him."

I nod, pulling out my phone and texting Joshua, Quinn and Miguel about what happened and to find Andre if he's inside the house.

"Good thing we were on the same page back there."

"You kidding? Michael leans forward. "I ain't letting that guy hurt someone again, man. The shit he's done is too much for me."

I get up, sighing heavily. "Let's go back inside; we might find them there. They couldn't have gone anywhere."

Michael actually agrees again, walking in step with me while we circle around toward the backyard. The sound of rapid footsteps tap on the wooden deck, Quinn panicked, scouring around, peering at people.

She notices me and grabs onto the railing, her eyes reduced to tears. I've never seen Quinn so scared; it almost sickens me.

"John! We need you right now!"

Michael bites his lip worriedly.

We rush to aid her side, and I wrap an arm around her waist, holding her close as if she was about to fall.

"What happened?" I shout. "Quinn--"

Quinn shushes me, her hands shaking as she tries to slide open the doors. Michale stops her, swiftly opening it for all of us.

"It's Andre! He--" Quinn sobs, her breath jagged. I rub her back soothingly, but it's no help. "We were sitting down on the couch downstairs, and Andre came to us, right? He came out of one of the other rooms and--"

She nearly falls down, forcing me to set her down onto the floor, resting her head against the wall. "He-- He fell right in front of us. Facedown. Like his head hit the floor, and when Miguel and Josh flipped him over, he wasn't-- wasn't breathing! He wasn't breathing!"

Michael and I exchange glances. Before I could tell him anything, he rushes past people, hearing his heavy footsteps slam as he rushes into the basement.

"Did you call an ambulance?"

Quinn stares up at me, covering half her face with an arm. Her bloodshot eyes make me shiver, and I help her up, walking her through the living room and leaving her to sit on the front doorstep.

"Stay there and wait for the ambulance," I tell her firmly, but she doesn't answer me, only crying harder when she lowers her head.

The sound of people stops briefly; the pounding of my heart against my chest is the only thing audible right now. My hands go numb, aching badly when I grab onto a surface for support.

My walking slows down, the people in the room slow down. The seconds drag on longer and longer until I reach the top of the stairs.

Until everything just stops.

**_Epilogue:_ **

Skye's POV

I laugh loudly, falling down into Marjorie's bed, strumming her ukulele carelessly. 

We'd just got home from eating out and hanging out while the others were doing their own things. 

Marjorie had been joking about some guy she saw at the ramen restaurant we went to and thought he was cute.

She kept making me laugh for some reason, every time she said something about the guy I laughed. She even started escalating the joke into something more, which made me spit out the fortune cookie I was eating in the car.

It's stupid, but it was a great day. A day away from my family is a good day, but a day with my friend is an even greater one.

"Okay, okay," I stifle some more giggles, bolting up. "What did you think about when--"

My voice stops when I see the changed look on her face. It's a concerned, fearful one. It worries me, standing up and walking over to her.

"M.J, what's wrong?" I call out softly, setting the ukulele on the bed.

Marjorie's eyes water, panting heavily before swiping her car keys off the table. "Car," she demands firmly. "Now, Skye. Go!"

I rush past her, going toward her front door and slipping on my shoes.

"Marjorie--"

She shushes me pointedly, swinging the door open roughly and gesturing me out. "I'll explain on the way," Marjorie's voice shivers.

I slow down, letting her pass me for a moment, but she turns around and almost throws me off my feet, pushing me to get to the car.

"What the hell is the big idea?" I reply, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Andre is in the hospital!" Marjorie unlocks her car. "Now stop asking questions and get in the fucking car, Skye!"

I stand there in place.

She opens her mouth to say something, but she suddenly stops. In fact, everything around me had stopped moving. I exhale, my breath trembling.

I blink once, and I'm in the car somehow, sitting next to Marjorie while she drives almost recklessly down the road.

I blink again, and I'm standing in front of the hospital doors.


End file.
